Black Top Dark Matter

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04# We are Splitsboro kids And we go to Sidekick School

0:00:04 > 0:00:09# Learning to be second best While playing by the rules

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

0:00:12 > 0:00:14# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff And looking super cool!

0:00:14 > 0:00:17# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! That's the life for me

0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Half-sized super zeros With full-sized super dreams!

0:00:20 > 0:00:23# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! What an awesome gig

0:00:23 > 0:00:26# Just like super heroes Just like super zeros

0:00:26 > 0:00:29# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Argh! What?

0:00:43 > 0:00:46It is noon o'clock. Get up! It is showtime!

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Eurgh. Is that all?

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Ah. I'll do them later.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52That is what you have said for the last 43 weeks.

0:00:52 > 0:00:56You have 977 unfinished chores on your list.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58Alphabetically, administer antidote to aardvark,

0:00:58 > 0:01:00buy banjo brackets,

0:01:00 > 0:01:01commence cookie crumb clean-up,

0:01:01 > 0:01:03destroy doggie doo-doo...

0:01:03 > 0:01:06But isn't agreeing to do them later enough for one day?

0:01:06 > 0:01:08See you next week. ERIC SNORES

0:01:08 > 0:01:10ZAPPING

0:01:10 > 0:01:11Huh? Argh!

0:01:11 > 0:01:15What would you say if I told you there might be one single task

0:01:15 > 0:01:18that could eliminate your entire chore debt?

0:01:18 > 0:01:20I would say, "I'm listening." RUMBLING

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Your task, if you're brave enough to do it,

0:01:23 > 0:01:25is to dispose of THIS backpack.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27LIGHTNING CRACKS

0:01:27 > 0:01:29What's wrong with it? Uneven straps? Stuck zipper?

0:01:29 > 0:01:32No. It contains dark matter,

0:01:32 > 0:01:36the most dangerous and sought-after substance in the universe.

0:01:36 > 0:01:41One speck is enough to fuel all the doomsday devices on the planet.

0:01:41 > 0:01:42And you trust ME

0:01:42 > 0:01:44with such an important job?

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Brain, I'm honoured!

0:01:46 > 0:01:48I don't know what to say.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50Of course I'll get rid of it for you!

0:01:53 > 0:01:56And done. Bravery rules! Wack. Doot. Gah gah-gah-gah!

0:01:56 > 0:01:58Not so fastly.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Dark matter can only be destroyed

0:02:00 > 0:02:03by being dropped into the molten core of the Mount Maxuvius.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Eugh! All the way across town?!

0:02:08 > 0:02:12- Fine.- And remember, if it falls into the wrong hands,

0:02:12 > 0:02:15it will be the end of the world as we know it,

0:02:15 > 0:02:18so don't tell ANYONE what you're doing.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22DOOR SLAMS Heh.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26A-yup.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30SQUEAKING A-a-ah.

0:02:30 > 0:02:31- Hm-hm-hm-hm.- Argh.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Hm-hm-hm.

0:02:33 > 0:02:34Mm-hm.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Oh, please,

0:02:36 > 0:02:38you got something to show us there, champ?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Ah-ho-ho, you noticed.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42It's nothing really.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Just a giant orb of DARK matter.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Why am I carrying dark matter?

0:02:46 > 0:02:49I guess it's because I'm the only one BRAVE enough

0:02:49 > 0:02:52to bring DARK matter to the DARK matter disposal volcano.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Yup, it's dark matter all right.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57- HE SLURPS - Salty.

0:02:57 > 0:02:58- Oh, waitress...- Huh?- Huh?

0:02:58 > 0:03:00..hold the devil's food cake.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02Huh? All right, then.

0:03:02 > 0:03:03Blargh!

0:03:03 > 0:03:06I'll have what he's having.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Hee-hee-hee! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:03:10 > 0:03:12- ALL:- ARGH!

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Dark matter is the most dangerous material in the universe.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20I think we could've sprung for a taxi. AH!

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Nn-nn-ha-ha-ha-ha.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24- ALL:- ARGH!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Look, there's a bus!

0:03:27 > 0:03:29BOOM!

0:03:29 > 0:03:31I didn't have to do that, but I did.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Now imagine what I'll do to you

0:03:33 > 0:03:36when I do what I do to you. Hee-hee-hee.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38- ALL:- Argh!

0:03:39 > 0:03:42Ooh, that is being excellent.

0:03:44 > 0:03:45O-o-ow!

0:03:45 > 0:03:48We have to lose them. Give me the dark matter.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49What are you going to do with it?

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Well, I'm not going to eat it, if that's what you're suggesting.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54HE SLURPS

0:03:54 > 0:03:57- Ow.- Hey.- I'll destroy you!

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Hm-hm-hm! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:03:59 > 0:04:02Look, if I know action movies, and I do,

0:04:02 > 0:04:05that unfinished off-ramp will be the perfect trap.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07All we have to do is race to the edge, then hit the brakes.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12And the bad guys will sail right off the edge.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Argh-huh-huh. WA-A-AGH!

0:04:14 > 0:04:16WA-A-AH!

0:04:19 > 0:04:20- Whoa-ho.- Ah!

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Duh-huh-huh. A-argh!

0:04:23 > 0:04:24Wa-a-ah! A-a-ah!

0:04:24 > 0:04:27So what do we do now, movie boy?

0:04:27 > 0:04:30We watch them plummet to their doom?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32DESCENDING WHISTLE

0:04:32 > 0:04:34PARACHUTE BILLOWS Huh?

0:04:36 > 0:04:37LASERS FIRE

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Say what you want about bad guys, but they know how to plan ahead.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Hey, guys, help!

0:04:43 > 0:04:47Psst, Eric, pass me the dark matter, I'll protect it.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48Then you'll help us up?

0:04:48 > 0:04:52Ha-ha. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:04:52 > 0:04:54I mean, sure.

0:04:54 > 0:04:55Argh!

0:04:55 > 0:04:59Trevor! Pull us up or my fist is going to dark matter your face!

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Was that too harsh? I've been working on being more assertive.

0:05:02 > 0:05:03Nope. That was about right.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06Okey-dokey.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08TYRES SCREECH

0:05:08 > 0:05:11- Hee-hee-ha-ha-ha-ha. - Uh-oh! They're coming back up!

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Nyeh. Kitty!

0:05:16 > 0:05:18It's mine!

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Precious dark matter's all mine!

0:05:20 > 0:05:22I'll never let it go, you hear me?

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Never!

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Argh! Wagh! Oof!

0:05:27 > 0:05:28Ow!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30- SQUEAKING - Huh?

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Go! Get the dark matter to the volcano!

0:05:33 > 0:05:34You're our only hope!

0:05:34 > 0:05:36We were always your only hope.

0:05:36 > 0:05:37If we don't make it, Eric,

0:05:37 > 0:05:41there's something I want to tell you. It's not easy to say, but...

0:05:41 > 0:05:43- You have the money you owe me? - No, I...

0:05:43 > 0:05:46- You admit I won the Go Fish Championship last spring?- No, stop,

0:05:46 > 0:05:49I-I-I see now that...

0:05:49 > 0:05:51XOX is about to crush us with a giant violin!

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Argh! What kind of weapon is that?

0:05:56 > 0:05:58One that you'd never expect!

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Now give me that dark matter.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Bye, dark matter, my love.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11We will always have that time at the diner,

0:06:11 > 0:06:13then that chase on the highway.

0:06:13 > 0:06:17then that time when I was saying goodbye to you and I said,

0:06:17 > 0:06:18Bye, my love."

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Hn-hn. Heh-heh-heh.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22DON'T LAUGH AT LOVE!

0:06:22 > 0:06:24I'm not laughing at love.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27I'm laughing because the girls don't really have the dark matter.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29I just used them to distract the bad guys.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Decoys.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Then you don't even care how mad the girls are going to be.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35Exactly.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38Wait, er, er... Nuts.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Well, I can't worry about that right now.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42We've got to get rid of this.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45And the fastest way is through the barbed wire field of pokey pain.

0:06:45 > 0:06:50Um...why don't we just use the delightful garden path of joy?

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Because of the marauding moleman murder guards.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53Grrr!

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Pokey pain it is.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59May I have a little lick of the dark matter to keep me fuelled, sir?

0:06:59 > 0:07:00No, you may not, sir.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Then may I have the pantaloons in which you kept it?

0:07:03 > 0:07:04And double no to that.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Ah! Trevor!

0:07:08 > 0:07:09Argh.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Hm. I wonder what the girls are up to.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Argh. E-e-eyah.

0:07:14 > 0:07:18- Hn-n-n.- Hoo-hoo-ha-ha. Eeeh.. What?

0:07:18 > 0:07:19- Ne-e-eurgh.- Ne-e-eurgh.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21- Tumbleweeds?- Tumbleweeds?

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Why that nacho-hogging, scab-collecting, toe-jabbing.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28flash-dancing, chocolate-bar-frying, googly-eyed, peach fuzz,

0:07:28 > 0:07:31girlie boy, hairy-toed cheese-breath Needles!

0:07:31 > 0:07:34Um...I'm also upset with Eric.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36GASPING

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Hm.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41My dears, I think on this singular occasion,

0:07:41 > 0:07:44might we come to an agreement?

0:07:44 > 0:07:47Why don't we find Eric together?

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Sure. Just stay out of my way, snaggletooth.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Ouch.- Ouch.- Ssh, listen, the sound of traitors.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Ouch.- Ouch.- Ouch.- Ouch.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59What purpose... Ow! ..does a barbed wire field even serve?

0:07:59 > 0:08:01SLURPING

0:08:01 > 0:08:04Erm...what are you doing?

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Just one more lick.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08No. We're almost...

0:08:08 > 0:08:10- Argh.- Argh.

0:08:10 > 0:08:14Oh. He-e-ey, everybody. Heh-heh-heh.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17I regret nothing!

0:08:17 > 0:08:18Ouch! Except this!

0:08:18 > 0:08:21- Ouch! Ow! O-o-ow!- Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

0:08:21 > 0:08:24HE PANTS

0:08:24 > 0:08:26I did it. I did it! I...

0:08:26 > 0:08:27Huh?

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Maxum Brain?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31What are YOU doing here?

0:08:31 > 0:08:33You were not supposed to make it this far.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35You were not suppose to make it at all.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37What?! I wasn't?!

0:08:37 > 0:08:38He wasn't?

0:08:38 > 0:08:43Ah-ha! Looks like the decoy-er has become the decoy-ee.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45In other words, payback's rich, Eric.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47I never had the dark matter?!

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Then what is THIS?!

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Maxum Man's bowling ball.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57Enough chatter! Give me that!

0:08:57 > 0:09:00THEY ALL SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER

0:09:02 > 0:09:06Ha-ha-ha-ha! I did it! I got it!

0:09:06 > 0:09:08E-vile finally reigns supreme!

0:09:08 > 0:09:10- Mine!- Whoops.

0:09:10 > 0:09:11MINE!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13ARRRGH.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Whoops.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19THEY ALL GASP

0:09:19 > 0:09:21All right, nobody move!

0:09:21 > 0:09:25Stay back! This dark matter is mine!

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Dibs for the good guys! Called it! Totally ours!- You can't just call it.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31You good guys always think that you could just call dibs

0:09:31 > 0:09:32and take whatever you like!

0:09:32 > 0:09:36That's not how it works! Otherwise I could call dibs on Cleveland,

0:09:36 > 0:09:38- it wouldn't make it mine. - We called it. It ours.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40THEY ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

0:09:42 > 0:09:44WA-A-AIT!

0:09:48 > 0:09:50OK, nobody move.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55We don't want to startle the... Yah!

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Quick! Grab a jet pack! We can still...

0:09:58 > 0:10:00CRUNCHING

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Nuts.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Well, we're heading back to the diner to finish our lunch.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08And if anyone wants to join us,

0:10:08 > 0:10:11I'll destroy you! Anyone?

0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'm in!

0:10:14 > 0:10:17So, er, you guys want to hang out?

0:10:17 > 0:10:19- Yeah, right.- As if. Ha!

0:10:19 > 0:10:21(Call me.)

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Well, I guess we deserve each other.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26Indeed. And it cannot get much worse that that.

0:10:26 > 0:10:27- ARGH!- ARGH!

0:10:27 > 0:10:29You were saying?