0:00:02 > 0:00:06CLASSICAL MUSIC
0:00:06 > 0:00:09And I said, "I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty,
0:00:09 > 0:00:11"but they don't look like real diamonds to me,"
0:00:11 > 0:00:13and I've never been back to the Palace since!
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Priceless, mother, absolutely priceless.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22More caviar, anyone?
0:00:22 > 0:00:25Lily, your mother is a truly wonderful hostess, is she not?
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Why, thank you, Matthew. Where do you think I learnt it from?
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Ah, yet it's more than her conversation I adore.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34It's her poise, her grace.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Mrs Hampton, you really are well cool.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40In fact, I cannot contain myself a moment longer.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42I simply must ask you to dance.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Erm, I don't think she wants to.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Do you tango, Matthew?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Don't we all, Mrs Hampton?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50TANGO MUSIC
0:01:17 > 0:01:19RAUCOUS LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Oh, and another thing she did when she was six
0:01:25 > 0:01:29was put her pants on her head and dance around naked.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Didn't you, Lily?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Like this!
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Oh!
0:01:42 > 0:01:44ROCK MUSIC
0:01:45 > 0:01:47# Ooh-hoo-hoo
0:01:47 > 0:01:50# Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- # So- So- So- So
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- # So- So
0:01:55 > 0:01:59# Ooh-hoo-hoo, ooh-hoo-hoo, ooh-hoo-hoo
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- # Ooh-hoo-hoo, ooh-hoo - Ah-ah-ah ah-ah
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- # So- So- So- So
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- # So- So- So- So
0:02:07 > 0:02:09# Ooh
0:02:09 > 0:02:12# So awkward. #
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- You OK?- Why wouldn't I be?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Your mum, I just thought...
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Nothing, just forget it.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Hey, at least she's stopped knitting all your jumpers.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31What's that on the front?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35That would be my face.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Right.- It's my lucky face jumper.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42It's not just me, everybody's parents are a bit weird.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Not everyone's.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45My dad's completely normal.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48He-hey! Wahoo!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Yay!
0:02:49 > 0:02:51CRASHING
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Cracking game, Jas.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57That second half was crrrazy!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I was like ah-ha, then I was like, argh
0:02:59 > 0:03:02and then I was like, phe-e-ew!
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Thanks, Dad.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Oh!
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Oops, erm, let me get that.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09No, it's all right, Mr Salford, you stay there.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Yes, it's probably easier if you don't try to...- No, I insist!
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- It's...- Whoa!
0:03:15 > 0:03:16What? Ha...
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Mother, it's me.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27No, Martha.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31No, Martha, your daughter.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Darling, how was the swimming gala? - Chess game, mother,
0:03:34 > 0:03:38and please take me off speakerphone when you're in a meeting.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Can I just say, I love chess.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42(Shut up, Martin.)
0:03:42 > 0:03:44All right, darling, let's have a catch up later, shall we?
0:03:44 > 0:03:48I've scheduled a mother-daughter debrief for...
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Wednesday. What shall we say, 20 minutes?
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Yes, mother. Looking forward to it already.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Oh, no.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Oh, don't worry, Lily. I'm not going to embarrass you.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Now, which of these nice young men is your boyfriend?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Oh...
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- Is it this one?- No, mum.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25No. Bit short, right? Yeah.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Oh, what about this one?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Oh! Too smelly.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- Oh, I know, what about...- NO!
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Erm, I mean, no.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Actually, it's, erm...
0:04:43 > 0:04:44It's Ollie.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Really?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- Ollie Coulton?- Yeah.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Ollie's my boyfriend all right.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58He's just...
0:04:58 > 0:04:59so...
0:05:00 > 0:05:02..punctual.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Mum, are you OK?
0:05:06 > 0:05:09My little girl's first boyfriend.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12We should celebrate. When can he come for tea?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Aw, he's busy then.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Well, I haven't set a date yet. - Huh...
0:05:16 > 0:05:20Tomorrow, and tell him I will not take no for an answer.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yoo-hoo!
0:05:26 > 0:05:28SHE MOUTHS SILENTLY
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Question one, how's school?
0:05:40 > 0:05:41A, excellent,
0:05:41 > 0:05:42b, good
0:05:42 > 0:05:45or c, fair.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Question two, what would you like for dinner?
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Did your mum send you another feedback form?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51A, chicken,
0:05:51 > 0:05:52b, fish
0:05:52 > 0:05:54or c, vegetarian option.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Wow - somebody doesn't like the vegetarian option(!)
0:06:05 > 0:06:07It's not that.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09It's just she never has time for me.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12That's not true, is it? She came to sports day.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Yes, Jas, she did...
0:06:13 > 0:06:15via webcam.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19I had to run 400 metres holding a laptop.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Even when I was six, I used to get my bedtime stories via e-mail.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25I just want to be noticed.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Sounds like somebody needs a detention.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31You know how it works - if you break three rules,
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Mrs Griggs will have to call your parents in to school.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- So?- So your mum will have to pay you attention,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40by order of the headmistress.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Are you suggesting I misbehave?
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Yeah.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48My dad's in here so often, he's got his own parking space.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Take my English essay. It's late, it's rushed
0:06:54 > 0:06:55and I've just spilt juice all over it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Oh!
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Oh, pants!
0:07:10 > 0:07:12DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Eurgh!
0:07:24 > 0:07:27There must be an easier way.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Oh, please, please, please, please, please, Ollie,
0:07:31 > 0:07:34be my boyfriend. It's just for one night.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36- No.- I'm desperate.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Oh, all right, then.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Seriously?
0:07:38 > 0:07:39No.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Have you met your mum?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44She hugs, and you know how I feel about huggers.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46I'll ask her not to.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48I'll say you got lice.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Oh, gosh!
0:07:50 > 0:07:55It sounds like such a wonderful evening but seriously,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I'm a bit out of your league.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01I really hoped it wouldn't come to this.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Four words, Ollie -
0:08:08 > 0:08:12chess camp, second place.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Where did you get this? - That's not important.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Do you want the whole world to know
0:08:15 > 0:08:17you were beaten by a six-year-old girl?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19You wouldn't.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Of course not, because I'm your friend,
0:08:21 > 0:08:22and you know what friends do?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25They help each other.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Fine. What time shall I come over?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Four o'clock OK? Thanks, Ollie.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Whoa there, missy. I need some information. Data.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36What does a boyfriend even do?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I don't know. Look it up.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Great.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Oh, it's a chess match report.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Barely. No doubt you've noticed it's completely unacceptable.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56What's wrong with it?
0:08:56 > 0:08:59What isn't? The formatting is all wrong,
0:08:59 > 0:09:01not to mention the obvious spelling mistake on page two.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Ah, this one.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10No. Anyway, I cannot go unpunished and I look forward to my...
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- What about this one?- No.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17I look forward to my detention as and when you see fit.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Ah, yes, of course.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Perhaps I should spin the wheel and accept my punishment.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28No need -
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- job done and you are welcome. - KNOCKING
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Come in.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- Mrs Griggs, before you say anything can I just...- No.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Detention.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I'm glad we had this chat.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Incredible.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41It's like a gift.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Thanks, Martha.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Shhh!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- (I'm not ready for this.) - (Of course you are, Martha.)
0:10:07 > 0:10:10(I'm going to get you into trouble if it's the last thing I do.)
0:10:10 > 0:10:12You're such a good friend.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15(Silence, please!)
0:10:15 > 0:10:16(See that?)
0:10:16 > 0:10:19(Even if you clear your throat in here, Mrs Jones goes nuts.)
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- All you have to do is make a noise...- (Ladies!)
0:10:22 > 0:10:24(Final warning!)
0:10:24 > 0:10:27(Or it'll be the longest detention of your lives.)
0:10:33 > 0:10:35(What are you doing?)
0:10:37 > 0:10:39(I don't know.)
0:10:39 > 0:10:41(It's easy!)
0:10:41 > 0:10:43(Just knock these over.)
0:10:51 > 0:10:54(Erm, yeah, maybe push them.)
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Come on, YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25So, basically, I need to find out what a girl wants in a boyfriend.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27I've done a bit of research
0:11:27 > 0:11:31and apparently all you're interested in is make-up and perfume.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Is that because you're ugly and you smell?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Thanks, ladies. Thanks for your time. GIGGLING
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Scientific research. I'm trying to be a boyfriend.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Oh.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- That's not how you do it. - Thanks. I had noticed.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Girls are complicated. You have to say things to them
0:11:58 > 0:12:01but the things you say have to be nice. Watch this.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Hey, Amber. Nice trainers.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Thanks, Matt.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Fascinating.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14And that would work on Lily Hampton, would it?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Lily?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18That's who you're going out with?
0:12:19 > 0:12:20Don't ask.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I blame chess camp.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Darling, I got your message. Everything all right?
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Not really.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35There's no easy way to say this but...
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Mother, are you sitting down?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- Go on. - It's pretty serious.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50I was in the library today and...
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Well, the truth is, I nearly made a noise.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58I'm going to be honest, darling, that doesn't sound serious.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Well, of course it is. It's only a matter of time before I...
0:13:01 > 0:13:02PAPER SHUFFLING
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Mother, I am speakerphone again?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08ACHOO!
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Oh...
0:13:19 > 0:13:22OK, so we've covered the basics.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27Girls like flowers, chocolates and massive balloons.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28What else?
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Erm...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33..cups?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Why don't we come back to that?
0:13:35 > 0:13:38OK, which of the following is best?
0:13:38 > 0:13:411, your jokes are funny
0:13:41 > 0:13:44or 2, your hair looks weird.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Don't tell me, I can get this.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Hmmm, I'm never going to get this.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54You don't have to talk to them,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58you could just be one of those boyfriends that holds hands.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Hand-holding? Right, that just sounds awful.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02No, it's easy. Look.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06You get their hand...
0:14:07 > 0:14:09..and hold it.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10See?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Or you can do an arm link.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25But, if it's really special, and the mood is right,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27go for the Hollywood lean.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Check this out.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Oh!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I feel so special.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Pretty romantic, right?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Research project?
0:14:38 > 0:14:39Obviously.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42I thought as much. Any useful findings?
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Let's put it this way, I'm ready to be a boyfriend.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48So, Ollie's going to come round tonight
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- and pretend I'm his girlfriend. - Right...
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Which will finally stop Mum from embarrassing me
0:14:53 > 0:14:55- in front of Matt Furnish. Pretty smart, right?- Genius.
0:14:55 > 0:15:00- If only there was a Nobel Prize for lying to your mum.- Very funny.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02But I understand if you don't want to be around tonight.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06And miss this? Oh, no, I'm going to be on the front row with popcorn.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Miss what? What are you talking about?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11My little sister's first boyfriend!
0:15:15 > 0:15:17NERVOUS LAUGHTER
0:15:17 > 0:15:19That's very funny.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22So he's handed out a few leaflets, so what?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25I'm telling you, this is completely under control.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29LAUGHTER
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Wow.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Now that is just...
0:15:50 > 0:15:53- Pretty cool, right?- Yeah...
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Can't believe you've got these.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- What are they?- Smoke bombs.- Oh, OK.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Get caught throwing these down the hall
0:16:03 > 0:16:06and that detention is guaranteed.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21OK...
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Just give it bounce. Just needs a little bit of a spin.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37OK. Erm...
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Let me show you.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I can explain!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47You know what? I really can't.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53- How long have you been at the school, Jasmine?- Two years.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56And you like it here, don't you?
0:16:56 > 0:17:00With all the lovely unbroken chairs, everything in one piece?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Yes.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Don't make me do it, don't make me call your dad in!
0:17:07 > 0:17:11We're still repairing everything from the last time he came in!
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Think of it, Jasmine - do you want a school with no chairs?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17No!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Final warning.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Think of the chairs!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Lily, congratulations on the boyfriend!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I told you, he's not my boyfriend!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Matt, hi!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41You dropped this.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45- Did you look at it? - No, why?- No reason.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Congratulations on your boyfriend!
0:17:47 > 0:17:54Will everyone get it in their stupid heads? He's not my boyfriend!
0:17:54 > 0:17:55Oh.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Sorry.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58Rough day.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01So it's not real then?
0:18:01 > 0:18:02It's definitely not real.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Actually, Matt...
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Lily! Darling.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Don't you look ravishing?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- I love your trainers. - But I'm not wearing any trainers.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Looks pretty real to me, Lils. I'll leave you to it.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Matt, wait!
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Look, I don't know what you're doing or why, but this has to stop.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- Really?- Yes!
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Thanks and everything, but it's too much.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32No way is my mum going to believe it.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Aw!
0:18:43 > 0:18:44Ooh!
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Ha-ha!
0:18:45 > 0:18:49Sit down, sit down. I want to hear everything.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51We met at Chess Club.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Yes, but that's not the whole story, is it, Pumpkin?
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- I don't think there's a story. - Oh, please let there be a story.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- Oh, there's definitely a story. - I don't think there' a...
0:19:01 > 0:19:03From the moment she first saw me,
0:19:03 > 0:19:08- she knew there was something different about this one.- Did you?
0:19:08 > 0:19:10You could say that, yeah...
0:19:10 > 0:19:12She couldn't tell what it was that drew her to me more -
0:19:12 > 0:19:16my charms, my brains, my...
0:19:16 > 0:19:18devastating good looks?
0:19:18 > 0:19:22- But drawn she was, like a moth to a smouldering flame.- Hah!
0:19:22 > 0:19:23Ahem.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Oops, oh, no!
0:19:38 > 0:19:40I expect you're wondering about the smoke bomb?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43The one that just fell out my sleeve? DISTRACTED LAUGH
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Well, I'm afraid I can't discuss it.
0:19:54 > 0:19:59And I definitely can't tell you I nearly threw it at school today.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01DISTRACTED LAUGH
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Where it turned into a tap-dancing rhino
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- and started singing the national anthem!- Sounds lovely.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Mother, are you even listening to me?
0:20:14 > 0:20:15Sorry, darling.
0:20:15 > 0:20:21Look, I've been a bit preoccupied lately, but I'm always here for you.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24And you must know that you can tell me anything.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- She's a wonderful listener. - Not now, Martin.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Your clothes are strange And rather frilly
0:20:36 > 0:20:39And though your knees are fine Your nose is knobbly
0:20:39 > 0:20:43In the game of life You score one-nilly, Lilly
0:20:43 > 0:20:45And though your hair Is sometimes silly
0:20:45 > 0:20:48And your face is rather hilly
0:20:48 > 0:20:51In your eyes it's never chilly,
0:20:51 > 0:20:54You're my dafodilly, really, Lilly.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58That was lovely.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Particularly the last 12 verses, they were my favourite.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- Oh, I can keep going! - It's getting late.- No, it's not.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Yes, it is! And I'm sure you have homework to do.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- I've always got time for you, Pumpkin.- Aw.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12We've made so many plans, Mrs Hampton.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Christmases, holidays - next week we're even getting a cat.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- I love cats!- Who doesn't love cats? - I know, right?
0:21:18 > 0:21:20We're not getting a cat.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22But, Pumpkin, why ever not?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Yeah, Pumpkin - why not?
0:21:25 > 0:21:26Erm...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- Because I'm dumping you! - DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS
0:21:29 > 0:21:30- Oh!- What?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33You can't mean that?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Yes, I do.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39The magic's gone, Ollie. You take me for granted.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43It's like I'm some sort of trophy to read poems to and get a cat with.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Well I'm more than that, I'm a girl.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47A girl with feelings and dreams,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49dreams you'll never touch or come close to understanding.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- MUSIC CUTS - So we should probably just break up.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Sorry and everything. Sorry, Mum.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57How could you?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I gave you the best...
0:21:59 > 0:22:01six hours of my life.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03And this is how you repay me?!
0:22:16 > 0:22:22- Please, I'm begging you, just let me go.- No! I can do this.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I was up all night practising.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Ready?
0:22:31 > 0:22:35Bye, Martha. I'm through with getting all your detentions for you.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- But...- Face it, there are some things even you can't do.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- Fine!- And please, get rid of that.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48FIRE ALARM
0:22:49 > 0:22:54- I did it! I broke a rule! - Congratulations. We need to go. Now!
0:22:54 > 0:22:55That was easy!
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Mrs Griggs! I just broke two rules!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08- Why?- Because I can!
0:23:08 > 0:23:12I'm brilliant at this! One more and you have to call my mother, right?
0:23:13 > 0:23:18Just for the record, I had nothing to do with this.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Of course!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22We can set this one off as well.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Good job we brought two, right, Jas?
0:23:42 > 0:23:46- Are you sure you'll be OK? - Of course I will.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Oh...
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Yes. I mean no.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Well... It won't be easy, but, erm...
0:23:55 > 0:23:58..we'll get there?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I didn't think he was your type, to be honest.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05- I always saw you with that nice Matt Furnish.- How did you know that?
0:24:05 > 0:24:10He's a very lucky boy. Any boy would be lucky to go out with you.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11Thanks, Mum.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Ooh! I could make him a face jumper!
0:24:15 > 0:24:16What colour, blue or green?
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Thanks. Should I come closer?
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Oh, no, no - you stay right where you are.
0:24:36 > 0:24:42I just want to start by saying, I am so sorry about my daughter.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44I hope you're proud of yourself.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46What is the one thing I am always telling you?
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Stay out of trouble.- Yes!
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Stay out of trouble!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53And here we are, hauled up in front of the headmistress!
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Thank you, Mr Salford.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02He's right, there's no excuse for us, we're completely out of control.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07- Will you stop that?- I can't.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10I think, perhaps, I can.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I have a feeling a lot of this is down to me.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16I've been busy recently, and we haven't spent much time together.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17I'm sorry, Martha.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26Yes. I've had a good, long think and I'm pretty sure I've fixed things.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29I was going to save this for your birthday, but...
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Mother And Daughter Boot Camp?
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Two weeks of crawling in mud and eating nettles - I can't wait!
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Not just that, next weekend we're going shopping for dresses.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42And afterwards - wait for it...
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Take your pick, darling -
0:25:45 > 0:25:47One Direction or Jedward?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53I thought my punishments were bad!
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Hee-hee-hee!
0:26:06 > 0:26:09And then, when she was seven, she would stick her bottom in the air
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- and say, "Quack, quack, quack!" - LAUGHTER
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Wouldn't you, Lily? Oh, we did laugh!
0:26:16 > 0:26:18It WAS quite funny.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Very well-played, I thought.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23All that hard work is really starting to pay off.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28But I'm looking at the figures and frankly there's a long way to go.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33- Thanks, Martin.- But it's not good enough, is it? No, absolutely not.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Matt, I am so sorry.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51You don't have to wear it. You know that, right?
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Yeah, I do.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55My mum made it.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Your mum knitted that?
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Please don't tell anyone.
0:27:12 > 0:27:17Dad, I know what we did was stupid, but I was only trying to help.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Oh, Jas -
0:27:20 > 0:27:21it was stupid.
0:27:21 > 0:27:25But I'm proud of you for caring so much about your friends.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27You just need to be more careful.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30A bit of thought and a bit of care is all it takes.
0:27:30 > 0:27:31You think you can do that for me?
0:27:31 > 0:27:33I will, I promise.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- Oh! - CRASH!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Thanks, Dad!