Girls & Boys

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0:00:03 > 0:00:05Bit more blue stage left, please, Ollie.

0:00:05 > 0:00:07OK.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10Ollie, we said blue, not red.

0:00:10 > 0:00:12That's weird. That should be blue.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14How about this one?

0:00:16 > 0:00:19Poor ickle Ollie doesn't know his colours!

0:00:19 > 0:00:20Of course I know my colours.

0:00:20 > 0:00:23- HIGH-PITCHED:- It's probably just a malfunction of the DMX protocol.

0:00:25 > 0:00:30Oh, isn't he clever, using big boy words?

0:00:30 > 0:00:31Isn't he cute?

0:00:33 > 0:00:35What's happening?

0:00:35 > 0:00:38- This isn't right!- Do you want your dummy, Ollie Wollie?

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Stop it! I am not a baby!

0:00:40 > 0:00:43Are you going to cry, Ollie?

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Open wide!

0:00:45 > 0:00:47NOOOOO!

0:00:50 > 0:00:51Ollie?

0:00:51 > 0:00:54- Huh? - We need more blue, stage left.

0:00:54 > 0:00:55Oh.

0:00:56 > 0:00:57Sorry. I...

0:00:59 > 0:01:00I can't see.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01Aren't you wearing your contacts?

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Let's just say disposables live up to their name.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Especially when exposed to microwave radiation.

0:01:07 > 0:01:08What about your spare glasses?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Those blue ones, with the rubber grips?

0:01:10 > 0:01:12He doesn't wear those any more, do you, Ollie?

0:01:12 > 0:01:14They're for babies!

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Yeah. Those.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20As if! I lost them.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Years ago.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Anyway. Here we go.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Let there be light!

0:01:27 > 0:01:29ALL: Ollie!

0:01:29 > 0:01:32THEME MUSIC PLAYS

0:02:00 > 0:02:04Is there anything more pointless and humiliating than Drama?

0:02:04 > 0:02:09This term, I've been forced to be a tree, a monkey, and now worst of all,

0:02:09 > 0:02:11- a boy. - I don't know.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13I always feel more comfortable like this.

0:02:13 > 0:02:14What, wearing trousers?

0:02:14 > 0:02:16No, wearing a wig.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Lucky it's just a silly play,

0:02:18 > 0:02:21because we are the least convincing boys I've ever seen.

0:02:21 > 0:02:22BELL RINGS

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Great(!) Now we're going to be late for PE!

0:02:25 > 0:02:27- I'm getting changed. - Why don't we just go like this?

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Then we only have to get changed once.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32But it's against the rules to dress in non-standard clothing.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Except on pre-designated charity event days.

0:02:34 > 0:02:38You can get changed and be late, then. I'm going to risk it. Lily?

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Lateness, incorrect uniform.

0:02:43 > 0:02:44Lateness, incorrect uniform.

0:02:46 > 0:02:47OK, you win!

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Then, after school, you have a meeting with the governors.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59For our monthly cola cube, yes.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01You mean catch up, Mrs Griggs?

0:03:01 > 0:03:03That's what I said, isn't it?

0:03:03 > 0:03:05And tomorrow it's the year ten staff meeting.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09Uh-huh. Lemon sherbets. Got it.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11You need to stop playing that sweetie-swap game.

0:03:11 > 0:03:12It's addictive!

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Don't be ridiculous, Mrs Rennison.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18I'm not some hopeless, screen-obsessed teenager.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20You were the same with the bubble wrap.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22You couldn't leave it alone, could you?

0:03:22 > 0:03:23Pop, pop, pop, you went!

0:03:23 > 0:03:25This is nothing like that.

0:03:25 > 0:03:26I could quit this game any time I like.

0:03:29 > 0:03:30Hmm.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Just need to get the jellybean jackpot first.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Yes!

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Wait! Matt's talking to Natasha Jones, again!

0:03:44 > 0:03:46I wish I could find out what he thought about her,

0:03:46 > 0:03:49but boys never talk about relationships.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51At least we girls can share our feelings, and know we'll always

0:03:51 > 0:03:54be listened to. Guys?

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Hmm?

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Don't worry. Come on.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06I mean, I know its UI was designed primarily for touch-screen devices,

0:04:06 > 0:04:09not PCs, but in my opinion, it's the best version

0:04:09 > 0:04:11of the operating system so far,

0:04:11 > 0:04:14precisely because it's so counterintuitive.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16That's absolutely fascinating, Ollie.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Have you anything else you'd like to share?

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Actually, there was just one other thing.

0:04:23 > 0:04:24It's nothing, really.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27I just wanted your opinion on these.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30The glasses? What's wrong with them?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32My nephew's got a pair.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33Has he?

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Oh, great! I've been worrying over nothing.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40This is little Rueben.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46He's four years old, and can tie his shoelaces and everything.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Ah.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55You, boys! Where should you be?

0:04:56 > 0:04:57ALL: PE, Mrs Griggs.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Well, come on, then, lads!

0:04:59 > 0:05:00Chop, chop, in you go!

0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Miss!- Miss, no! - Yes! Go on, then!

0:05:12 > 0:05:13SHRIEKS

0:05:17 > 0:05:18We have to get out of here!

0:05:18 > 0:05:22Why? Think of it as a rare chance to observe a primitive species

0:05:22 > 0:05:25- in its natural habitat. - It's chess practice later.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27- Wait!- And I've got quite a surprise up my sleeve.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30- I thought you wanted to get out of here.- Shh! This is important!

0:05:30 > 0:05:33I'll open with a Benko Gambit and sacrifice a pawn.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Martha will never expect that.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Oh, I think she will, Rufus.

0:05:37 > 0:05:38I think she will. Come on, let's go.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40I don't understand girls.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44- Wait!- I mean, she messaged me, but does that mean she likes me?

0:05:44 > 0:05:49- So they DO talk about relationships! - FART, LAUGHTER

0:05:49 > 0:05:50JAS SNORTS

0:05:51 > 0:05:53What? It's funny.

0:05:53 > 0:05:54Where's my towel?

0:05:56 > 0:06:00- Thanks(!) - BELL RINGS

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Wow! That was so interesting!

0:06:10 > 0:06:13Who would have thought a boys' changing room would be so...?

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Smelly!

0:06:22 > 0:06:26So, boys talk to other boys about their feelings, but just not to us.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Is that right?- All I know is that it has absolutely nothing to do with

0:06:29 > 0:06:31electrostatic particle acceleration.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32Er, we're doing geography.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Oh, I finished that earlier.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36And as a treat, I'm now exploring the SUB-atomic world.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40If only I could be a boy for a day, just to see what Matt really thinks.

0:06:40 > 0:06:44- Why can't you? - Because, hello?

0:06:44 > 0:06:45You fooled Mrs Griggs.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Only cos she was glued to her phone.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49Then we just make you look MORE like a boy.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55- See? - Really?

0:06:57 > 0:07:00- At ease, soldier! - What are you doing?

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Might have got a bit carried away. I've always wanted an Action Man.

0:07:05 > 0:07:06How about this?

0:07:07 > 0:07:09I look ridiculous.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11I haven't finished.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15- There! - Great(!)

0:07:15 > 0:07:17Now I look like a ridiculous Harry Potter.

0:07:17 > 0:07:18Martha?

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Wow! Who let that handsome young man in here?

0:07:23 > 0:07:25DOORBELL RINGS

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Oh.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36I was looking for Lily Hampton.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38I must have the wrong house. I do apologise.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41- DEEP VOICE:- Er, no, this is Lily's house.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44She's not in at the moment.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48- Can I help?- I was just returning Lily's biology textbook.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50I've been brushing up on mitochondrion, which,

0:07:50 > 0:07:53- if you didn't know, is... - Oh, yeah, it's aerobic respiration.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Ah! I see you know your stuff.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58I'm Ollie, by the way. And you are?

0:07:58 > 0:07:59- NORMAL VOICE:- Lil...

0:08:00 > 0:08:02- DEEP VOICE:- Liam.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06- I'm a boy. - Oh!

0:08:06 > 0:08:07Well, so am I.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10Bye, Lil-liam.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Just Liam. - Oh, right.

0:08:13 > 0:08:14Well, see you.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18Waah!

0:08:23 > 0:08:25He completely fell for it!

0:08:25 > 0:08:27And if Ollie did, maybe Matt will, too.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Exactly. We can do it in the morning break.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31I'll help you. Martha?

0:08:31 > 0:08:34Count me out! According to the risk assessment I've just run,

0:08:34 > 0:08:36the outcome is extremely unfavourable.

0:08:36 > 0:08:41Your chance of success is 14,256-1 against.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43I'll take those odds.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48- GAME BEEPING - Yes!

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Yes.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Oh, it's the candy catcher!

0:08:54 > 0:08:59- Double dib-dabs. - BELL RINGS

0:09:16 > 0:09:17I'll watch the door.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26- Hurry up! - YELPS, SPLASH

0:09:37 > 0:09:40For the last time, I'm not an action figure!

0:09:50 > 0:09:52TOILET FLUSHES

0:10:00 > 0:10:02All clear.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Ah, cousin Oliver.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Can you settle an argument for us?

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Is this font Times New Roman or Franklin Gothic?

0:10:21 > 0:10:24Hiya. Are you three here to sign up for the year seven

0:10:24 > 0:10:28- mathletics competition? - I'm not a year seven.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Ollie! Sorry, I didn't recognise you there.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33It's his glasses. They undermine his maturity.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Ooh, Franklin Gothic. I love that font.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38I knew that! I knew that!

0:10:39 > 0:10:43And sometimes, he undermines his maturity all by himself.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56I can't believe you're really going through with this.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Neither can I. I'm getting changed.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Over here, mate! - Lily!

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Now's your chance.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04Kick it!

0:11:11 > 0:11:14Tackle him, tackle him, tackle him.

0:11:14 > 0:11:15You're in! Go!

0:11:20 > 0:11:2314,256-1.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Just saying.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15SHRIEKS

0:12:15 > 0:12:17- Whose side are you on, again? - Yours, I think.

0:12:17 > 0:12:18I'm Liam, by the way.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Right. Jordan, over here!

0:12:23 > 0:12:27I'm a boy. I mean, a new boy.

0:12:27 > 0:12:28Sure. On the wing!

0:12:30 > 0:12:33So, that Natasha Jones, eh?

0:12:33 > 0:12:36- What about her? - She's really, er...

0:12:37 > 0:12:38..fit, isn't she?

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Yes, come on!

0:12:44 > 0:12:47- What happened? - You scored!

0:12:47 > 0:12:48- NORMAL VOICE:- I did?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51- DEEP VOICE:- I mean, I did, because that's what I meant to do.

0:12:53 > 0:12:54What's your name, again?

0:12:58 > 0:13:01- It's working! - It can't be.

0:13:01 > 0:13:02Hi, Martha. Hi, Jas.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Did Liam just score? Wow.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Good at science AND sport.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Is that even possible?

0:13:11 > 0:13:14But if we have no culprit, then how can we punish anyone?

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Aha. As it happens,

0:13:17 > 0:13:20I've uncovered evidence of an illegal incursion

0:13:20 > 0:13:21at the time of the blockage.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23- You have? - Yes.

0:13:23 > 0:13:29A clear contravention of school rule 13A, sub-clause B.

0:13:29 > 0:13:34"Only female pupils aged 18 or under are allowed in the girls' toilets."

0:13:34 > 0:13:35Look, I can explain.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37It was him.

0:13:39 > 0:13:43- Him?- It was from the CCTV camera at the exact time

0:13:43 > 0:13:47- the flooding occurred. - Really? He definitely did it, then.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51And we can safely erase the rest of the footage.

0:13:51 > 0:13:52I'll get onto that straight away.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54There's a problem, though.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57He doesn't match anyone on our school records.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01Excellent! I mean, oh, shame.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03I guess that's the case closed, then.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Not quite.

0:14:06 > 0:14:07We have this phone.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11Oh, gobstoppers.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Come on, Lily. Break's nearly over.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18You look familiar. We've met before, right?

0:14:18 > 0:14:22No. I'm from Newcastle, just arrived.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25But you sound like you're from London.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27From a different Newcastle.

0:14:27 > 0:14:31Near London. Newcastles everywhere these days.

0:14:31 > 0:14:33- Right. - Anyway, that's not important.

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Girls, eh? Could live without them, or something.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40- Who's your favourite? - What, girl?

0:14:40 > 0:14:41- BELL RINGS - Yes. Quickly!

0:14:41 > 0:14:44Come on, Liam. Don't want to be late on your first day of school.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Yes, I do, I'm not finished!

0:14:50 > 0:14:52But we'll never be able to unlock it.

0:14:52 > 0:14:56It's probably got a pass code or something.

0:14:56 > 0:14:57Never mind!

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Which is why we need the help of an expert code-cracking team.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03I agree, but where on earth would we find anyone who could...?

0:15:03 > 0:15:04KNOCK AT DOOR

0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Of course. - Ah, the Samsonic 33i.

0:15:12 > 0:15:13Piece of cake.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Once we've attached the phone,

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Ollie will run my special code- breaking algorithm,

0:15:24 > 0:15:26and read the results back.

0:15:26 > 0:15:31Erm... Or, perhaps, I was thinking

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Mrs Griggs might like to do the honours?

0:15:33 > 0:15:35It's her school, after all.

0:15:35 > 0:15:36Er, OK.

0:15:38 > 0:15:39Mrs Griggs.

0:15:39 > 0:15:44Erm, yes, but isn't the phone water damaged?

0:15:44 > 0:15:47- I've already fixed that. - But...

0:15:47 > 0:15:49- But... - BELL RINGS

0:15:49 > 0:15:51The bell's gone.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53You two should be in class.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Right. Well, we'll continue this after school.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Hadn't I better keep hold of this?

0:16:00 > 0:16:01It's all right, Mrs Griggs.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04No, no. As headteacher, I should keep it safe!

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Security comes under my jurisdiction.

0:16:18 > 0:16:19Safe and sound.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28It was carnage.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Like she was reading my mind.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34How can Martha have known I was going to play the Benko Gambit?

0:16:34 > 0:16:35How could she have known?

0:16:35 > 0:16:39You know, being a boy is a lot harder than it looks.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Why? All they seem to do is laugh at each other's burps

0:16:42 > 0:16:45- and hit each other for fun. - Sounds brilliant!

0:16:45 > 0:16:48Interesting. Haven't tried that yet.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50Although, I think he needs more time.

0:16:50 > 0:16:51Who? Matt?

0:16:51 > 0:16:52No, Liam.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54He's coming back at break.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57You do know Liam's not real, don't you, Lily?

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Of course I do!

0:16:59 > 0:17:00I just need to find out what he's thinking.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Who, Liam? - No, Matt!

0:17:03 > 0:17:04Keep up, Jas!

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Can I help you?

0:17:18 > 0:17:22No, no. Just wondered if you fancied taking a little break.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24No, thank you.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27How about I tidy the cupboard, you go and get a cup of tea?

0:17:27 > 0:17:30No, thank you.

0:17:30 > 0:17:34OK. In that case, I'll just check the...

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Yes, well, everything's in order.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54"Have you seen this boy?"

0:17:55 > 0:17:56Not good!

0:18:03 > 0:18:04Not good at all.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23This is ridiculous.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Pull yourself together, Ollie. Just keep the stupid things on.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Holy Higgs boson! Where did you come from?

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Cousin Oliver, I've been meaning to ask why you keep wearing

0:18:34 > 0:18:38- your old glasses.- Because they're the only pair I've got.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Well, good for you.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Very brave. After all,

0:18:42 > 0:18:46you don't see Stephen Hawking wearing children's spectacles.

0:18:46 > 0:18:48No-one would ever take him seriously if he did.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Ow! Where did that come from?

0:18:59 > 0:19:02Anyway, we were talking about relationships.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Were we? I thought we were talking about music.

0:19:05 > 0:19:09"LIAM" LAUGHS Ow! What did you do that for?

0:19:10 > 0:19:11Oh, for fun?

0:19:11 > 0:19:14It's what we boys do, isn't it?

0:19:16 > 0:19:20Anyway, girls.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Well, there is this girl called Lily.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Is there?

0:19:24 > 0:19:27Yeah, she's clever, funny, easy to hang out with.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30When she's not putting her foot in it, of course.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31She hates it when she does...

0:19:32 > 0:19:35..that. I expect.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38But recently, I met someone new.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Natasha Jones, I knew it.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42Ah, no. She's just helping me with my history project.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Well, who, then?

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Someone unique.

0:19:47 > 0:19:48One of a kind.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Isn't that you?

0:19:58 > 0:20:00You'd better run.

0:20:00 > 0:20:05Oh. Hi, Liam. I was just wondering, where did you get your glasses from?

0:20:05 > 0:20:08It's just, I'm looking for a new pair, and yours are really cool.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Very mature. Can I try them on?

0:20:10 > 0:20:12- NORMAL VOICE:- No! - DEEP VOICE:- I mean, no.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15You'll see me. I mean, I won't be able to see you.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Oh, I'm dead.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Ah, the phantom toilet blocker!

0:20:22 > 0:20:25Whoops! Clumsy me!

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Please could you help me pick them up, Mrs Rennison?

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Unique, one of a kind.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40All right, Lily?

0:20:40 > 0:20:43- DEEP VOICE:- Yeah. - NORMAL VOICE:- I mean, yeah.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47- Who is it? - Who's what?

0:20:47 > 0:20:49Matt's found someone new.

0:20:49 > 0:20:50I need to know who it is.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53Without stating the obvious, why don't you just ask him?

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Because I'm Lily, remember?

0:20:55 > 0:20:57I don't even know about it.

0:20:57 > 0:20:58Only Liam does.

0:20:58 > 0:21:00This is actually getting quite weird.

0:21:00 > 0:21:01I was so close!

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Liam has to make one final appearance.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05But Mrs Rennison's on to him!

0:21:05 > 0:21:07- I mean, you. - Don't you see?

0:21:07 > 0:21:09There's no other way.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12OK. But then we need to kill Liam off.

0:21:12 > 0:21:13Humanely, of course.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19Hey, Ollie.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Oh, hi, Rufus.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24It's Matt.

0:21:24 > 0:21:27Oh, right. Sorry.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30I was just thinking, it's hard to believe Liam's a wanted man.

0:21:30 > 0:21:32I mean, he's such a model pupil.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Accomplished scientist, a sportsman.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38You do realise he's just Lily dressed up, don't you?

0:21:38 > 0:21:40- Don't be absurd. - You didn't know?

0:21:41 > 0:21:42There she is now, look.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46How can Lily and Liam be the same person?

0:21:49 > 0:21:50I see it.

0:21:51 > 0:21:54- Oh, dear. - Whoa!

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Those glasses!

0:21:56 > 0:22:00Yeah. I know. They make me look silly, don't they?

0:22:00 > 0:22:01Oh, no!

0:22:01 > 0:22:04They don't look silly. They're, erm, great.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Really?

0:22:06 > 0:22:08- You're not just saying that? - No, they're, erm...

0:22:10 > 0:22:11- ..retro! - Are they?

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Well, I suppose, in a way, they are.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Ollie? What on earth are those?

0:22:21 > 0:22:23These are my glasses, Rufus.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25And for your information, they're retro.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30Oh!

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Ah.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40Thank you. Official school business.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Hello, school office.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52- ATTEMPTED SCOTTISH ACCENT:- I'm phoning anonymously to tell you

0:22:52 > 0:22:55I've seen the toilet boy. He's in the computer room.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Who is this?

0:23:02 > 0:23:04- ATTEMPTED SCOTTISH ACCENT:- Bingo!

0:23:04 > 0:23:06- NORMAL VOICE:- I mean, bingo.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08- Hey, bro. - Ow. Can you please stop doing that?

0:23:08 > 0:23:10But I thought...

0:23:10 > 0:23:14Anyway, you were telling me about the new person in your life?

0:23:14 > 0:23:18Oh, yeah. You know when you meet someone, and you just click?

0:23:18 > 0:23:19Yeah. Never lasts though, does it?

0:23:19 > 0:23:22I don't know. There's something very different about this one.

0:23:22 > 0:23:26Wouldn't trust them. Probably a stalker or something.

0:23:26 > 0:23:27But I've never met anyone like them.

0:23:27 > 0:23:30- NORMAL VOICE:- Just tell me who it is!

0:23:30 > 0:23:32- DEEP VOICE:- Sorry, my voice is breaking.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33COUGHS

0:23:42 > 0:23:44You do realise that of all the implausible plans

0:23:44 > 0:23:46you've ever hatched, this is by far the worst?

0:23:46 > 0:23:49I know. I've created a monster.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Help me make it stop.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55I think things might be coming to their natural conclusion, anyway.

0:23:55 > 0:23:59- Oh, no! - The other person is...

0:23:59 > 0:24:02No kissing in the corridor, boys!

0:24:02 > 0:24:04Martha, you've got to delay Mrs Rennison.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06I told you I'm not getting involved!

0:24:06 > 0:24:09Please. I'll let you do my homework.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11Really? OK!

0:24:11 > 0:24:13- What shall I say? - You'll think of something.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16I knew it was you all along, Lily.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Hi, Lily.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Oh, butterscotch.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50- Ah, Mrs Rennison. - Not now, Martha.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52No, it's really important.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55It's about my phone-cracking algorithm.

0:25:03 > 0:25:06- But how did you know?- I know I'm not as clever as you, Lily.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08But I'm not that stupid.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Sorry, Matt. Liam urgently needs the toilet!

0:25:10 > 0:25:13- You mean Lily? - He knows.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15OK, well, whoever you are, you need the toilet.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18Mrs Rennison's coming.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21Well, I guess it's loosely based on Alan Turing's cryptographic work at

0:25:21 > 0:25:25Bletchley Park. - Mm, that sounds well interesting, Martha!

0:25:25 > 0:25:28Can you explain it again in a lot more detail?

0:25:28 > 0:25:30I don't have time for this. Step aside!

0:25:36 > 0:25:38Where is he?

0:25:38 > 0:25:40He went... that way!

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Reporting for phone hacking duty, Mrs Rennison.

0:26:04 > 0:26:05I'll set up the laptop.

0:26:05 > 0:26:06No, no. I'll do it.

0:26:06 > 0:26:10It's not a problem. I'll just put on my retro glasses.

0:26:13 > 0:26:14Good. Well, it's through here.

0:26:16 > 0:26:20GAME BEEPING

0:26:22 > 0:26:24One more candy cane to go.

0:26:24 > 0:26:25I have to beat it!

0:26:25 > 0:26:27Mrs Griggs.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Good!

0:26:31 > 0:26:33Well, can't stand here all day.

0:26:35 > 0:26:37Isn't that the phone?

0:26:37 > 0:26:39How did she unlock it?

0:26:39 > 0:26:43I think we've just found our phantom toilet blocker.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48So, come on, then.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50Why did you dress up as a boy?

0:26:50 > 0:26:51I was trying to...

0:26:52 > 0:26:55I just wanted to know how you really...

0:26:55 > 0:26:58It was for drama class.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00Right, if you say so.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02No-one would think you're a real boy, anyway.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Why?

0:27:04 > 0:27:07Because you're Lily. Unique, one-of-a-kind.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09See you tomorrow.

0:27:16 > 0:27:18See you tomorrow!

0:27:19 > 0:27:21Finally!

0:27:23 > 0:27:27Time to get that jellybean jackpot!

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Come on! Yes!