0:00:02 > 0:00:04I can't believe we're going to meet your new boyfriend.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Oh, you're going to love him. He's so kind, funny, and cute as a pie.
0:00:07 > 0:00:08DOORBELL RINGS
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Oh, here he is.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13HE SCOFFS
0:00:13 > 0:00:17If she brings in, like, a hamster or a sandwich, I'm saying something.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19This is the most serious Jas has been about anyone.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23So whoever comes through that door, just smile and act supportive, OK?
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- No.- Is that...?
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Mr Ted from TV's Ted and Friends?
0:00:32 > 0:00:37I love that show. The one where you ate a big jelly, that was genius!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39I know! I'm dating a celebrity.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- But Jas, you can't go out with Mr Ted.- Why not?
0:00:43 > 0:00:47- Because he's going out with Little Ms Ted.- Really?
0:00:47 > 0:00:48I thought they were just friends.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51OK, let's not overreact.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55I'm sure Little Ms Ted will be totally cool about this.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59SPED-UP YELLING
0:01:02 > 0:01:06That has to be the most ridiculous dream I've ever heard!
0:01:06 > 0:01:08I know! Mr Ted would never eat a big jelly.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11He hates wobbly puddings.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13And the dating a bear part, obviously.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17It's OK, I have mad, crazy dreams sometimes.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20We don't really think you have a crush on a giant furry.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28What?
0:01:58 > 0:02:02It had a big Mr Ted poster taped on the door. It's crazy!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05I'd have thought tape was the perfect adhesive for that purpose.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08It's not about the adhesive, Martha.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I think Jas is lonely.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Think about it. I've got Rob, you've got Ollie.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15I haven't got Ollie.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Our friendship is based on a
0:02:17 > 0:02:20platonic, mutually beneficial work ethic.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24I know! And that's what makes you such a sweet couple!
0:02:24 > 0:02:30It's not fair. Jas is so great, funny and lovely.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32She deserves someone,
0:02:32 > 0:02:35so she won't be all sad and lonely like she is now.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38She just needs a little help finding a boyfriend.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42It goes like, "Rawr!"
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Take that Megasaurus impression.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- Some boys might find that weird. - They'd be right.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Megasaurus, it's not even a real species.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53We've got to do something, Martha.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Our happiness in our relationships could be forcing Jas out.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59No wonder she's avoiding us.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Hey, guys. Do you mind if I sit with Rufus?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04He's literally going to do all my calculations for me.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06We completely understand, Jas.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Whatever helps you right now.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09OK, see you!
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Smiling through the tears.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22HE SCREAMS
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- How long have you been there? - Only since chapter three.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Congratulations!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Mrs Griggs asked me to help trial a buddy scheme for next year.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Guess who I chose as my mentor?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39You're everything I aspire to.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Your mind, your drive.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Well, I guess you may have a point.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46So you'll do it? Oh, wow, thanks, Ollie!
0:03:46 > 0:03:51- You won't regret this. - Well, I-I never actually said yes!
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Don't do it.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Trust me, nothing good ever comes from Mrs Griggs's schemes.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57What was I supposed to say?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Uh, no?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01It's not that hard to say, is it?
0:04:04 > 0:04:08And then I thought, why not try a buddy scheme for teachers as well?
0:04:09 > 0:04:10What do you say?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Nnn...
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Nnn... Nnn...
0:04:16 > 0:04:17HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Me and him, buddying up? You've got to be joking.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Yeah, what she said.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24I don't have time to babysit some numpty with tomato soup on his tie.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28It's... I take issue. That is carrot soup actually.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38How long does this normally go on for?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40A couple of minutes, usually.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Rufus, I just want to say thank you for working with Jas.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Oh, she's a great partner,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54and this could be the start of something incredible.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Really?
0:04:57 > 0:05:01Wow. Do you think she feels the same way?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04I think so, though I thinks she expects me to do most of the work.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Maybe she just needs some encouragement.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Would you talk to her?- Of course!
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Aww!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14You guys are going to be in happy heaven!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Uh, it's actually pronounced haploid,
0:05:16 > 0:05:17because of the number of chromosomes.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21We are talking about spores, right?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Isn't this amazing?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26You and Rufus are going to make such a cute couple.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27- Are we?- Yeah!
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Apparently you just need to show him you're interested.- Right.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Um, what if I'm not interested?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Right, we're going to need to do your hair, obviously.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37But, do you know what you really need?
0:05:37 > 0:05:40An all-you-can-eat pasta Big Sam Sandwich Bar?
0:05:40 > 0:05:41Dating practice.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Dating practice?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Yeah, first dates are a minefield.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46What to do, what not to do.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48So come around mine tonight,
0:05:48 > 0:05:51and we'll practise that crucial first romantic dinner.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52Thanks, Lily, but I'm not sure...
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Whoa. Did you say dinner?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Yeah, I'll cook us a meal.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Ah!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to practise a romantic dinner.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Let's say, lasagne, chips, onion rings, salad, and,
0:06:04 > 0:06:05you know, garlic bread.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Well, it's not just about the eating.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I'm also going to teach you how to be a good listener.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11All right, Lily?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14You need to give a boy your full attention.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Let them know you're really hearing them.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19So, I got these 3D cinema passes, if you're up for it.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Ignoring a boy is basically, like, the worst thing you can do.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Oh! Hi, Rob. I was just giving Jas some dating advice.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Now, the first thing is how to ask him out on a date.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34You need to be really careful how you do this.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Oi, Rufus!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Lunch tomorrow?
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Yeah, all right.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Oh, are you eating that?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Might have yoghurt on the date.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Better start practising now, you know?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Wonderful move, Ollie. It's like watching an artist at work.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Thanks.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I think you're enjoying this.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59What? Of course I'm not.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Why would you even say that?
0:07:01 > 0:07:02Listen to me yammering on.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Your lunch isn't going to fetch itself!
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Chicken salad sandwich, red apple and a coconut water, right?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Maybe we should pick this up later?
0:07:14 > 0:07:19I can't. Maxwell and I are upgrading the firmware on our PCs.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Honestly, being a mentor is such a drag.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24What?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27So, how's my favourite mentor?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Yeah, about that.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32I'm really busy these days,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35and I'm not sure that Jeff even needs a mentor.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Oh, Vicky, if anyone is crying out for your help, it's Mr Malone.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40The poor man's a disaster!
0:07:40 > 0:07:43He lacks any kind of presence.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Sometimes I barely notice that he's in the room.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47- WHISPERS:- He's not that bad.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50He doesn't even own a jacket with a full set of buttons.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53And as for that weird ear picking thing he does when he's annoyed,
0:07:53 > 0:07:56and have you see the way he eats his sandwich?
0:07:56 > 0:07:58But he's not totally hopeless.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Honestly, I think he has the makings of a really...
0:08:03 > 0:08:04..average teacher.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Absolutely. And I wish you the very best of luck in drawing that out.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09No, no, I didn't mean...
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I look forward to seeing the results.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Mr Malone, you really shouldn't sneak up on people like that.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27Wow. That's two helpings of lasagne you've finished.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30You're really taking this romantic meal rehearsal seriously.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Thanks. Maybe I should practise with that garlic bread?
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Right, next stage of Lily's guide to the perfect date -
0:08:36 > 0:08:38conversational topics.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- What about impressions?- Impressions?
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Yeah, people love 'em!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Have you seen my Megasaurus?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Jas, under no circumstances are you to do
0:08:47 > 0:08:49a Megasaurus impression on your date.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Why not?- Because it's weird, it's childish,
0:08:52 > 0:08:54and it's not even a real species.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- You don't know that.- Right, do you want to practise this meal or not?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Well, if you're going to insult my Megasaurus impression,
0:09:00 > 0:09:02then I'm afraid...
0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Is that pavlova?- Mmm-hmm.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15The boys are probably running late.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Right. Not that I mind.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Oh, no, me neither. I needed time to, um...
0:09:22 > 0:09:24..clean that. So, I'm good.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25And I'm certainly not fighting
0:09:25 > 0:09:28a creeping sense of rejection and loss.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31THEY LAUGH NERVOUSLY
0:09:33 > 0:09:36They're probably not even together.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38OLLIE LAUGHS
0:09:38 > 0:09:40..and then the spy said to the Queen,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43"I actually meant hydrogen bond."
0:09:43 > 0:09:45That is the funniest joke ever!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
0:09:47 > 0:09:51So, I hate to be boring, but the tournament's this weekend, so...
0:09:52 > 0:09:57Ooh, I'd actually promised Maxy I'd play him today.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Don't worry, I'll take it easy on you.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Don't do that. I want no mercy.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Really? You want me to beat you?
0:10:07 > 0:10:11To be slain by the master would be a dream come true.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Oh, OK.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Maybe you can play your famous move, the Coulton Gambit.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Oh, I'm not sure we'll have time to cover that.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21Then we'll have to make time.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I suppose someone has to inspire the next generation.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26And inspire he does.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Well, they're certainly getting along.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I just hope it lasts.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37It would be terrible if something were to break them up.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Right, yes! Simply terrible.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Young people in love.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Is there a better thing to see?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49A 3-D movie?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52I think I could get us seats on the middle row, but...
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Look at them. They've got so much to say to each other.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58If only I could hear their sweet nothings.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01They ran out of yoghurts again.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Typical!- Ketchup?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06He bought her a gift!
0:11:06 > 0:11:08How romantic!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Is ketchup romantic?
0:11:10 > 0:11:14I'm so good at this. I should run a dating agency.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I mean, obviously I wouldn't charge, but maybe I should charge.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Uh-oh.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Why are you putting your fingers in...?
0:11:21 > 0:11:22SHE GASPS
0:11:22 > 0:11:24One second.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26I didn't even get to do the noise.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27OK.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- What?- Nothing.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I thought you were about to play the Coulton Gambit.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40I can't wait to see it.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I don't know, Maxy, are you ready to lose?
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Oh, yes! You have no idea how boring it is winning all the time.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47I need to lose,
0:11:47 > 0:11:51to lose and grow in the face of humiliating defeat.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Sounds healthy.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59And to lose to Ollie Coulton's legendary chess move,
0:11:59 > 0:12:01would be my greatest honour.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05Tell me. How did you discover it?
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Don't worry too much about the Coulton Gambit.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10I have plenty of other ways to win.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12You see, when you're as good at chess as I am...
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- Checkmate.- What?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Weird. Why did you let me win?
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Um....
0:12:19 > 0:12:21For a joke! Ha-ha!
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Oh, right, very funny.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25So, shall we play properly now?
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Yes, of course.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Checkmate number five.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Is this still a joke?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37No, this time I was testing you.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Congratulations!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41You're finally ready for our first proper game,
0:12:41 > 0:12:42tomorrow.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45But next time we play, you're definitely going to beat me, right?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48- Absolutely.- Great.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56What are you doing?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Cheering you up. Listen, don't feel bad.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03We all embarrass ourselves with a dodgy dinosaur impression sometimes.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Well, not all of us, obviously.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- I wasn't embarrassed.- Maybe you're just scared of getting hurt.
0:13:10 > 0:13:15- I'm not scared.- Rob, can you bring in the "Don't Be Scared" cupcakes?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Actually, maybe I am a bit scared.
0:13:18 > 0:13:23Relationships aren't easy. There's a lot of give and take.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Thanks, Rob.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- But it's so worth it. - Yeah, well, I gave it a shot.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Think I'm good now. - No! You have to give it another try.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36What about another meal out at Big Sam's Sandwich Bar, on me?
0:13:36 > 0:13:39So you'll buy me free lunch if I go on another date with Rufus?
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- I'm in!- Let's fight for love.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43To love!
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Yay, love!
0:13:51 > 0:13:54This is your idea of helping me get tough, is it?
0:13:54 > 0:13:56If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it properly.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Now, come on. Role-play with me.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00I'm a complex rebel with anger issues.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Now, give me an order!
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Fine!
0:14:03 > 0:14:04Um...
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Pick up that piece of paper.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Get off my case, sir!
0:14:10 > 0:14:13I don't view you as an authority figure or nothing.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- I might go.- No, no! Come on, it's working.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Just one more try.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22Uh, pick up that piece of paper or I'll put you in detention.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23I don't care.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26I felt lonely and outcast for as long as I can remember.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28All I know is anger and hurt,
0:14:28 > 0:14:30and hanging out in windy bus stops with Laura Jennings.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33And, sure, I know things will change when I reach my 20s
0:14:33 > 0:14:34and get into teacher training college,
0:14:34 > 0:14:37but until then it's just me and Laura against the world.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Well, that was a good start.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Erm...
0:14:44 > 0:14:46for me at least.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50I'm just not sure I'm a "get tough" kind of teacher.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Sure you are!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Show me your tough face.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54SHE GROWLS
0:14:54 > 0:14:56HE GROWLS
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Sorry, what was that?
0:14:58 > 0:14:59HE GROWLS AGAIN
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I can't hear you?
0:15:01 > 0:15:02HE GROWLS AGAIN
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Come on! You're setting empathetic boundaries
0:15:04 > 0:15:06while meeting of the requisite attainment targets.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08One more try!
0:15:08 > 0:15:09HE GROWLS AGAIN
0:15:09 > 0:15:12That's it! Now, get yourself out there.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13Yeah!
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Greetings, mentor.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Ready for that rematch?
0:15:21 > 0:15:26Well, you know I'd love to, it's just I'm so busy right now with...
0:15:26 > 0:15:27HE GROWLS
0:15:29 > 0:15:32You kids that need to be outside at break time. You know the rule.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33We're kind of in a meeting.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34HE GROWLS
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Don't make me tell you twice, my lad.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Outside now.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40It's fine, we'll be done in a sec.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45Oh, just listen here. Oh, I can't be bothered by this.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Take your time, lads.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Just let me know when you've finished with the room.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49I'll be outside.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- Were you followed?- I was careful.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04I thought it was time you and I addressed...
0:16:05 > 0:16:07..the problem.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Agreed. It's a difficult situation...
0:16:10 > 0:16:13..especially with the chess tournament openers coming up.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Wouldn't it be terrible if Maxwell and Ollie were playing each other
0:16:16 > 0:16:18this year?
0:16:18 > 0:16:22As competitors, they'd have to stop hanging out, break up.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Everything would go back to normal.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26I can't fix the line-up, it's wrong.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30They leave us with no choice, Martha.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Don't pretend you haven't thought it too.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39We need a better meeting place.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40I don't see the problem.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44Just pretend it's a date and we can get free lunch at Big Sam's.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- It's simple. - It's not though, is it? It never is.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49This is going to turn into some big thing,
0:16:49 > 0:16:52with you getting trapped by your own lie, and I don't need this.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Four words, Rufus.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55All you can eat!
0:16:55 > 0:16:57They'll just keep on bringing us food.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Forever! Please, I'm begging you.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02It's just so complicated.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Why does it have to be this way?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Won't you even try, for me?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08I'm sorry, Jas, I can't.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10It's over.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11SHE GASPS
0:17:11 > 0:17:14How could you?!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16You do realise if she starts crying,
0:17:16 > 0:17:19we're going to have to go straight to the canteen and get ice cream.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Great! Now we're stuck eating hot fudge sundaes
0:17:26 > 0:17:28until Jas feels better.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30It might take a while.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Gosh, would you look at that!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Right! Quite by chance, Maxwell,
0:17:47 > 0:17:50it would appear that you're playing Ollie in the first round.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51- Quite by chance.- Quite by chance.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53If we're playing in a competition,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Ollie will have to throw everything he's got at me.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Maybe he'll even play the Coulton Gambit!
0:17:59 > 0:18:00And you're happy about that?
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Too long have I hungered for the sweet taste of defeat.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05My wait is over.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06My time is here!
0:18:06 > 0:18:09We really need to work on your self-esteem.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- What are you doing? - I think Lily's up to something.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18We need to get our story straight.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20How many times? I don't care.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21I want no part of this.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Good idea! Just deny everything.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24There's nothing to deny!
0:18:28 > 0:18:33Amazing! I love how you two just can't stay away from each other.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- Yes, we can!- It's OK. I get it.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38The chess club opening rounds start on Saturday.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39I thought we could all go.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42But we can't. We've got lunch at Big Sam's, remember?
0:18:42 > 0:18:45- Yeah, we can.- See, Jas, all you have to do is believe.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Anyway, I'll leave you to it.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48Got lots to talk about.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49What?
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Look, the sooner you get tough, the sooner I can stop mentoring you.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59What's the plan this time?
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I caught two kids spraying graffiti in the girls' loos this morning.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- Which is against the rules!- Oh.
0:19:06 > 0:19:07They're on their way up now.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Just give them detention in front of Mrs Griggs,
0:19:09 > 0:19:11and then bingo, Mr Tough Guy.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Who's Mr Tough Guy?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Mrs Griggs, thanks for coming.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Mr Malone has some rather serious news. Right, Jeff?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21- MAXWELL ON VOICE MAIL:- Hi, me again.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23You probably didn't get my last 83 messages,
0:19:23 > 0:19:24in case we missed each other...
0:19:24 > 0:19:25- PHONE:- Message deleted.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27VOICE MAIL: Hi, me again...
0:19:27 > 0:19:28Message deleted.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29So I'm outside your house...
0:19:29 > 0:19:30Message deleted.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Hello?
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Message deleted.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Got to love Maxy, so keen, so ready to learn.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Does this... Does this thing turn off?
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- What are you doing? - I just came in here to think.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43But you always go to the science cupboard to think.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45The janitor's cupboard is for secret meetings
0:19:45 > 0:19:47and hiding from other pupils.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50There's no easy way to say this.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Maxwell keeps beating me!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I thought you were letting him.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56No, he's unstoppable!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59I don't know how we got put together like this.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Who knows? But, never mind.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05The inventor of the Coulton Gambit can beat anyone.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Right, there's something I should tell you about that because...
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Yeah, that's the spirit.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Come on, we should probably get to class.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Spray painting!
0:20:13 > 0:20:15I'm glad you brought this to my attention.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17The culprits are on their way up here now.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Luckily, Mr Malone is going to get tough with them,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22like the great teacher that he is.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Martha, you broke the rules?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28What? No, she didn't.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Yes, I did.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Um, but I had to! Ollie basically made me.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38- What?- I see. Well, I have no option but to give you both a detention.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- You really don't.- On a Saturday.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43- BOTH:- What?
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Yeah, can we start again?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47As you know, I have a "punish first, think later",
0:20:47 > 0:20:51zero-tolerance approach, vis-a-vis this scenario.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52So, you know.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54HE GROWLS
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Most impressive.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59I never knew you could be so assertive.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Well done, Ms Parfitt. I knew you could do it.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Aww, look at you guys.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15I knew you'd work it out.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20See? When it's true love, you should always follow your heart.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24So, if two people want to do different things
0:21:24 > 0:21:28on a Saturday afternoon, they should both do what they want?
0:21:28 > 0:21:29Exactly.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Even if that means me going to see Revenge of the Killbots without you?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Exactly.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Sorry, Revenge of the what?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39If I go now, I can still catch the trailers.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42And, I can beat the queue at Big Sam's! Awesome!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44I meant... No.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Um...
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Never follow your heart. Always compromise.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54Yay for love!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00It's not that bad, Saturday detention.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03You like school, and now you're here on a Saturday too.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08I said I was sorry! Look, I even brought you snacks.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11How could you do this to us on the day of the chess match?
0:22:11 > 0:22:12I'm being tough.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Do you want a caramel wafer?
0:22:14 > 0:22:17It's all right, Mr Malone, I'm happy to pass on this game.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20The inventor of the Coulton Gambit doesn't pass!
0:22:20 > 0:22:23You should be out there showing them what you're made of.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- That's the thing, I can't.- Why not?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Because I don't remember how to play the Coulton Gambit!
0:22:28 > 0:22:29THEY GASP
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Sorry, why are we gasping?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35What do you mean you don't remember?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37It all started the day I discovered it.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40I'd smashed the openers,
0:22:40 > 0:22:42and was ready to face Mikey Pawnbasher Phillips
0:22:42 > 0:22:44in the second round.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Mikey had captured my bishop, and had my king in his sights.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51I was a goner. Then I heard it.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53A dull roar echoed around the room,
0:22:53 > 0:22:56as if the grandmasters of the past were speaking to me.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19CHEERING
0:23:19 > 0:23:23And the last thing I remember was the sound of wild cheers.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30There wasn't that much cheering. I think everyone just clapped.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Not the point.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35And didn't that noise you heard just turn out to be excess earwax?
0:23:35 > 0:23:40The point is I have no memory of the Coulton Gambit or how I did it.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42That shouldn't stop you!
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Win or lose, you've got to try.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- I can't, I... - Come on, how bad could it be?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49No, I mean, I can't.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50I'm in detention.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Ollie, you have to do this.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54HE GROWLS
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Yeah!
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Really, so you're letting us go?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Yes. Ollie, you can't run forever.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04This is about facing your fears.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07If you do that, you'll never have to run again.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08The...
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Oh, they've gone.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30May the best man win.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31In other words, you.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34I can't believe Big Sam!
0:24:34 > 0:24:36"There's no more food left."
0:24:36 > 0:24:38It's either all-you-can-eat or it isn't.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Tomato?- No, thanks.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Hey, where's Lily?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46I thought she was with you.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Look...
0:24:48 > 0:24:50I don't want your sympathy.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54I mean, yes, I did come here alone, but don't feel bad for me.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59Because, deep down, I always knew that love is for idiots...
0:25:00 > 0:25:02..and romance is dead.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04And it's just better to know the truth.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Gum?- Thanks.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Will you two just give it a rest?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12She'll probably cheer up later.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25SHE BLOWS HER NOSE LOUDLY
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Of course it wasn't going to work with Rob!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Do you know why I knew?
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Perhaps you could tell us quietly?
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Because it was all too good to be true!
0:25:37 > 0:25:40I had it all and then I threw it all away.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Jas, you were right.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Love and romance is pointless if you can't have fun with it.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48And I'm just... I want fun.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Can we put something over her?
0:25:51 > 0:25:54I can't even do that stupid dinosaur noise!
0:25:54 > 0:25:56I don't understand.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Why are you still letting me win?
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Unless...
0:26:00 > 0:26:02you've been trying to win all this time.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Look!
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Rawr!
0:26:17 > 0:26:19He's remembering! He's going to do it.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Checkmate.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Oh, thank goodness.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Thank you, thank you.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Oh, oh.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Thank you, Ollie. It was an honour to lose to the master.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- You're welcome? - But I'm afraid I found a new mentor.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Someone older, someone smart yet tough.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02The man who put Ollie and Martha into detention.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07That's some teacher.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Are you sure this is going to work?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Trust me. I'm a love expert.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Hey, any time, any film on me.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31I don't need them, thanks. I've still got these.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- You didn't go?- Without you? No.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36You've finished being crazy now, right?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Definitely.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Oh, we got four of these!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42So, maybe Jas can bring someone.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43HE SCOFFS
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Well, it was just a suggestion.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Maybe one of your friends?
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Rob!