0:00:02 > 0:00:06So, let's get started on trends in 16th century crop rotation.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Ugh, really?
0:00:08 > 0:00:09HE PLAYS GUITAR RIFF
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Derek Leatherhair!
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Yeah, this is only
0:00:17 > 0:00:22the lead singer of greatest band in the world ever, Leather Blare.
0:00:22 > 0:00:23Ow!
0:00:25 > 0:00:29You haven't just realised that what your extremely awesome band needs is
0:00:29 > 0:00:31a history teacher, have you?
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Yes! Oh, this is amazing.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38It's unbelievable. It really is unbelievable.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Hang on...
0:00:40 > 0:00:41..is this a dream?
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Yes.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Now, about that time capsule.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46HE SCREAMS
0:00:47 > 0:00:49HE SCREAMS
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Sorry, I was just...
0:00:50 > 0:00:53I was just, erm, resting my eyes.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Where were we?
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Time capsule, that would be a container full of things from
0:00:58 > 0:01:02the present that we bury for people from the future to dig up.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04I know what one is.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Then why ask?
0:01:06 > 0:01:07I didn't.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I asked how you were getting on with the school time capsule?
0:01:12 > 0:01:16The one we're burying tomorrow to mark the school's 37th birthday.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Because Mrs Griggs thinks that 37 is the new 50.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Oh, I see. Well, the thing is, what with lesson plans, playground duty,
0:01:23 > 0:01:25detentions, I haven't actually...
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Did I mention that I've taken personal charge of the project?
0:01:29 > 0:01:33I haven't actually quite finished it yet.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35See that you do, or else.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39How much have you got left to do?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Not much. Very, very little.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44It's... It's, uh, practically done.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46You haven't started yet, have you?
0:01:46 > 0:01:47- WHISPERS:- No.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53# Oh, oh, oh
0:01:54 > 0:01:56# Oh, oh, oh, oh
0:01:57 > 0:01:58- # So - # So
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- # So #- So
0:02:01 > 0:02:04# Oh, oh # Oh, oh
0:02:05 > 0:02:09# Ah, ah, ah, ah
0:02:09 > 0:02:10- # So - # So
0:02:10 > 0:02:12- # So - # So
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- # So - # So
0:02:14 > 0:02:16# Oh
0:02:16 > 0:02:19# So Awkward! #
0:02:19 > 0:02:21You got me a present?
0:02:21 > 0:02:23But you've never got me a proper present before.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Not that I keep track or anything.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33I love it!
0:02:33 > 0:02:35But you haven't opened it.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36So?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38I like anything Rob gives me.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44SHE SCREECHES
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- What is it?- A brooch.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50So, love it or totally utterly love it?
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Are you kidding?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55It's the worst brooch in the whole world.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Well, as our tastes are so different, maybe we should break up.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02Well?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I totally utterly love it.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- It's beautiful.- Awesome, see ya.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Beautiful?
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Is there something wrong with your eyes?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Ooh, it could be a hemiplegic migraine.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23That does start with visual disturbances.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- There's nothing wrong with my eyes. - But you...
0:03:25 > 0:03:29I lied. I don't want to hurt his feelings.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32That's ridiculous. If Ollie and I worried about hurting other people's
0:03:32 > 0:03:35feelings, we would never be able to point out each other's mistakes,
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- and who wants that?- Not me.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39It's "not I", Ollie, "not I".
0:03:40 > 0:03:43See? Wouldn't you rather be like us?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Time capsule?- Yeah, stupid thing.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Who's going to volunteer to waste their time on this?
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- Me.- Exactly, no-one.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Why on earth would people of the future be interested in what we did
0:04:06 > 0:04:07in the past?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09You tell us, sir, you teach history.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Oh, yeah.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12I said I'd do it.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14That's why I got landed with this rubbish.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Do you think it's too late to train to be a PE teacher?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- I will do it.- Will you?
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Yeah, all of it.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23You won't have to do anything, and it will be the best time
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- capsule ever. - Well, why didn't you just say?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31I have to confess to being baffled by your motives.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34I'm shocked they aren't immediately apparent.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38This is our chance, Ollie, to ensure our names live on in the future.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Martha, people don't just forget minds like these.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Yes, they do.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44Take Wegener.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Oh, please, the first man to discover continental drift?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- Everyone remembers him.- Do they?
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- Miss, you know who Alfred Wegener is, correct?- Of course.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Erm, it's City's new left-back, right?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00That's not going to be us, Ollie.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02That's NOT going to be us.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09"Time capsule.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11"Volunteers see Martha Fitzgerald."
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Is it better to fight one horse-sized duck,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17or 100 duck-sized horses?
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Guess again.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21It's a chance to collaborate with our intellectual heroes?
0:05:21 > 0:05:22That's the one.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Hey, Lily.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I know. It was a present from Rob.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Isn't it awful?
0:05:38 > 0:05:41I think it's amazing!
0:05:41 > 0:05:42You do?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44You're Jas.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47You think chocolate tastes better with sprouts.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Of course you like it.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Guilty as charged, me quirky.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53You are.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Rob's not, Rob's cool.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58SHE SIGHS
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Really cool.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Maybe he knows something I don't.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Like maybe ugly is the new beautiful.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Hey, maybe this is actually really fashionable.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15That is so not in right now.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19SHE SIGHS
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Why aren't you working?- Free period.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28What about the time capsule?
0:06:28 > 0:06:29All sorted.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Listen to me, Mr Malone,
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Mrs Griggs might always think the best of people,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37but I happen to know a lazy, good for...
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Actually, Mrs Rennison,
0:06:38 > 0:06:42I think you'll find that this is going to be the best time capsule
0:06:42 > 0:06:43ever.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Ow, ow.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Just take it off if you hate it that much.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I can't, not now that I've told him I like it.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Imagine what he'd say.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59As our tastes are so different, and you lied to me about liking it,
0:06:59 > 0:07:00maybe we should break up.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06Hm, you obviously need a super duper Salford scheme, give it here.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Er, what're you going to do?
0:07:08 > 0:07:10- JAS SIGHS - Smash it up.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Erm, how's that going to help?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Look, everyone knows I'm clumsy, right?
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Er, maybe a bit accident-prone.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21So, if I break the brooch, Rob will totally believe it was an accident.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24You won't have to wear it, and you never have to tell him you lied.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- Boom!- Jas...
0:07:26 > 0:07:28..that is brilliant!
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Destroy it, completely.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34EXPLOSION
0:07:34 > 0:07:35Oops.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38What's it made of?
0:07:38 > 0:07:42OK, don't worry. I have something in my locker that will sort this out.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44No trouble, leave it to me.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52A Cranmede school uniform.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Future generations will be fascinated by the cheap fabric
0:07:55 > 0:07:57and unflattering styling.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02We also suggest including a typical pencil case, with protractor,
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- naturally.- And woodlice.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07We put these beauties in, they form their own civilisation,
0:08:07 > 0:08:1137 years from now, we should have talking lice.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Epic!
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Ignore our colleague.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Thank you so much for your interest in contributing to the time capsule,
0:08:21 > 0:08:24but Ollie and I have already decided what to put in.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26They knocked these off in no time at art club.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Great! I just need to get my chess champions medal.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33You're just putting things in about you and cousin Oliver?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Yes, we agreed that was best.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39How do you know concentrating on yourselves is the best idea?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Erm, it's obvious.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Oh, dear.- What? Why "Oh, dear"?
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Well, if I remember correctly...
0:08:45 > 0:08:47And Maxwell always does.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51..scientists used to think that luminiferous aether was the obvious
0:08:51 > 0:08:54medium for the propagation of light.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Until Einstein proved it didn't even exist.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Curse luminiferous aether.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01They're right.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03We can't just assume our ideas are superior.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05We need proof.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Fine. We'll just have to get a capable, rational,
0:09:11 > 0:09:15reliable judge to take a look at both sides and decide whose ideas
0:09:15 > 0:09:16are best.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Capable, rational, reliable?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23And the best we could do at short notice.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- What's all this?- Evidence.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29To help prove our ideas are superior.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Shouldn't take too long. A couple of hours.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33A couple of hours?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Stop! Stop it. Stop doing that.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Then we will need to go over some of the detail.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41However long they get, we should get the same.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- We can stay after school if we have to.- Objection.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Uh, I think you'll find we make the objections.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Not in my courtroom. Out you go.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Martha! Have you seen Jas?
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Yes.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Recently?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Oh, no.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Maybe Rob has.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02LILY SCREECHES
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I don't have the brooch on.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Er, if he asks, I was never here.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13Ip dip you twit, you are not it.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14- Your ideas are best.- Yes!
0:10:14 > 0:10:19- But...- Judge's decision is final, no correspondence will be entered into.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21I thank you and goodbye.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Yes!
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Well, I suppose we could put some of your ideas
0:10:26 > 0:10:28into the capsule after all.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Hmm. To quote someone I used to admire,
0:10:31 > 0:10:35thank you so much for your interest in contributing to the time capsule.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38But you heard Mr Malone, our ideas are better,
0:10:38 > 0:10:41and there's no point in creating any substandard material.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48Yeah, stuff like a bag of Ollie's toenail clippings.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50For cloning purposes.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Perfectly normal. Move on.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58OK. 40th time lucky.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05What? My lucky stick.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08You can go off a brooch, you know.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Hey. That's Lily's brooch.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13What are you doing to it?
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Er, I can totally explain, just give me a minute.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Hey, have you seen Jas Salford?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Big hair, crazy schemes?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- No?- Lily?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- SHE SCREECHES - Hey.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31What shampoo is that?
0:11:31 > 0:11:32You really must tell me.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Here, your brooch.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- Where did you get that?- From Jas.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39She told me...
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Whoa...
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Rob, listen, I...
0:11:42 > 0:11:44..that she's madly in love with me.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Please don't break up with me.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Wait, what?
0:11:55 > 0:11:56I can see you have questions.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01Would you believe me if I said a mysterious stranger made me do it?
0:12:01 > 0:12:02No.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07That I really needed to break my stick so Lily kindly loaned me her
0:12:07 > 0:12:09indestructible brooch?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11No.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Well, in that case then, the perfectly simple explanation is...
0:12:17 > 0:12:19That you're madly in love with him?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Yeah. I said I was really jealous of you, and I knew how much
0:12:22 > 0:12:26you loved that brooch, so I stole it and tried to break it,
0:12:26 > 0:12:29which totally explains why I had it, but didn't get you in trouble.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Genius!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33OK, but now my boyfriend thinks you fancy him.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37You don't think that's going to make things a bit weird, do you?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Oh, yeah, right. Don't worry.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I'll think of a way to sort it, I promise.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47We've lost everything.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49All due to inadequate judge selection.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52And maybe being a tiny bit patronising.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Well, there's nothing we can do now, is there?
0:12:56 > 0:12:57Isn't there?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08What's up?
0:13:09 > 0:13:10Nothing.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17Mum, if you have the choice between telling the truth and lying,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20would you tell the truth even if it hurt someone's feelings?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Oh, crikey, no.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Remember when your Auntie Alice asked me whether she should wear
0:13:26 > 0:13:28a red dress for our Saskia's wedding?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Well, I told her the truth,
0:13:30 > 0:13:32that it made her bum look like two blancmanges in a plackie bag.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Well, she stopped speaking to me,
0:13:34 > 0:13:36and she took back your granny's china cabinet.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37SHE SIGHS
0:13:37 > 0:13:39If I just said she looked delightful,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41we would still have a solid oak sideboard and...
0:13:43 > 0:13:46That's probably a bad example.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50But sometimes I do think a little white lie
0:13:50 > 0:13:52can save a lot of fuss.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Really?- Really.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I mean, imagine if I'd told you how I really felt about Mr Malone.
0:14:02 > 0:14:03That he's...
0:14:03 > 0:14:05..a really good teacher.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14OK, the time capsule is being filled as we speak.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Just one woodlouse?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20BOTH: No, Alfie. Absolutely not.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21OK, OK.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25How about...
0:14:25 > 0:14:26..a slug?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28BOTH: Ew!
0:14:28 > 0:14:33Mr Malone will then lock the time capsule in the stationery cupboard
0:14:33 > 0:14:35whilst the hole is being dug.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Then, at nine o'clock,
0:14:36 > 0:14:39it will be moved to the hole where it'll be buried in front of the
0:14:39 > 0:14:40whole school.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44I see, so if you want to replace their stuff with ours...
0:14:44 > 0:14:48We have to do it whilst it's locked in the stationary cupboard.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52And we have to do it in the next 27 minutes.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53Easy.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Compared to, say, Rutherford splitting the atom.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Not compared to that...
0:14:59 > 0:15:00..quite tricky.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03SHE SCREECHES
0:15:07 > 0:15:08What are you doing?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Rob can't see us together while we've fallen out.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12We haven't fallen out.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Oh, Lily, I'm after your man,
0:15:14 > 0:15:16and I stole your lovely brooch, remember?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Of course we've fallen out.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Wow, Lily must be mad at Jas.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Apparently she really fancies Rob.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- See?- How does Jenny know?
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Sophie Taylor says it's all over her profile.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Jas?
0:15:30 > 0:15:33I may have updated my status last night.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36You know, to keep things convincing.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38SHE BEATBOXES
0:15:38 > 0:15:39# Rob is so cool
0:15:39 > 0:15:40# Your picture makes me want to drool
0:15:40 > 0:15:44# I love you more than rock loves Blackpool. #
0:15:46 > 0:15:47Jas!
0:15:47 > 0:15:48It'll be fine.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51You don't want Rob getting suspicious, do you?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I wonder if Jas and Rob will end up together.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56I mean, Lily has been a bit weird lately.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58That bug brooch that she's been wearing?
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Very strange.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I can't handle this any more.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Maybe I should just come clean.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12As our tastes are so different, and you lied to me,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14and let Jas really, really lie to me,
0:16:14 > 0:16:17we should definitely break up.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Don't worry. I told you I'd sort this, and I have.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25LILY SCREECHES
0:16:26 > 0:16:27Why?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Why, Jas, why?
0:16:29 > 0:16:32It's going to solve all your problems.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Look, we tell everyone that I felt bad about stealing your brooch,
0:16:35 > 0:16:37so I bought you a new one as a present.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40It's a sign that I've decided to put sisters before misters,
0:16:40 > 0:16:42and we can all be friends again.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Sorted.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- Let me just pin this on.- No!
0:16:45 > 0:16:48This is the worst idea you have ever had.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51And you're Jas Salford. So, there's a lot of competition.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52I'm only trying to help.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Well, you're not. You're making things worse...
0:16:55 > 0:16:56..as usual.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Fine, sort out your own problems, then.
0:17:14 > 0:17:15What's up with her?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Her and Lily have fallen out, and it's all my fault.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Go on, quickly.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Jas really fancies me.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28She told me I was hot like Mexico.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Well, your features do have a pleasing regularity.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Ugh, but I don't want those two to fight.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35What can I do?
0:17:35 > 0:17:38I can't stop being cool and really good-looking.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40OK, listen, Robert.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Yesterday, I felt the same as you,
0:17:42 > 0:17:46but not the cool and good-looking thing.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50My charms are more unconventional, with an appeal all of their own...
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Hello! You're supposed to be helping me.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56I meant I felt like there was nothing I could do, but then,
0:17:56 > 0:17:59someone said something wise to me and that something was...
0:18:01 > 0:18:02"Isn't there?"
0:18:04 > 0:18:07You mean, maybe I CAN stop being cool and really good-looking?
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Yeah! What if I...
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Sorry, my friend.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Motivational quotes are one thing, but I've got no time to talk detail.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I'm off to ensure my name echoes down the ages.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21You're going to shout really loud?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Ollie, I'm really busy.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Sir, Derek Leatherhair,
0:18:28 > 0:18:32mediocre musician with horrible hair and terrible trousers,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34or awesome rock god?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Discuss.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Well,
0:18:37 > 0:18:42the first thing to note about The Derekmeister is the way he layers
0:18:42 > 0:18:46chords in masterpieces like Shriek of the Banshee.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Not to mention classics like Serpent's Fingers.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53But the really interesting thing is his a cappella work.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03I'll be needing 20 packs, plain printer paper.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09..four packs black nib fine liner.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11What do you mean you only have blue?
0:19:11 > 0:19:13That is completely unacceptable.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15I want to speak to your manager.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Fine. Well, get him to call me back.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20I will wait right here till he does.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25My number is 07700 900219.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29PHONE RINGS
0:19:29 > 0:19:31That was quick.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Now, about these fine liners.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Hello. I'm a concerned bystander and I've just seen your headmistress
0:19:37 > 0:19:41dancing around outside the front of the school in her underwear.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I knew this would happen.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18And I have not been a bit weird lately, OK?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I'm a perfectly normal person with a horrible brooch
0:20:20 > 0:20:23that I completely love, OK?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28She is so weird right now.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Watch it! Oh, Martha.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Hi.- Everything all right?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Oh, yeah.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38I'm lying to my boyfriend,
0:20:38 > 0:20:40the whole school's talking about whether I'm right for him,
0:20:40 > 0:20:43and I've massively fallen out with Jas.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Things could only be worse if I fell in a hole.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Why is there a hole here?
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Because we dug one.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50For the time capsule.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00This is what happens when you worry about other people's feelings, Lily.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02I did try to tell you.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Yep, you were right.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- Excuse me.- Where are you going?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10To apologise to Jas for hurting her feelings.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12But...
0:21:17 > 0:21:18Ollie!
0:21:18 > 0:21:23Now, if you are asking me what's my Leatherhair chord of all time,
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I'd have to say it's this C from Dream For a Sky Child.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28HE PLAYS A RIFF
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Sir, it's time for the capsule.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Right. Where did I put that key?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39I sincerely hope you haven't lost it, sir.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41We'd be really disappointed if you had, sir.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43No, no, no. It will be here somewhere.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Maybe it's in my trousers.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I mean, maybe you dropped it on the floor.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55Shall we all look?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58You know what they say, many eyes find keys.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Nothing. There it is!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Must need my eyes testing.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11Right.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Come on, then, you lot.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15We'll finish this chat later, Ollie.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17There's nothing I'd love more, sir...
0:22:19 > 0:22:21..than to die before that happens.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I love when a plan nearly falls apart and then comes together.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Obviously, none of this is your fault.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Obviously, it's all my fault for lying in the first place.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- Friends?- No.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49I learned my lesson.
0:22:49 > 0:22:50So?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53I learned my lesson after making rocket fuel out of cabbages.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Didn't bring my dad's shed back, though.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56But, Jas...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58THEY SCREAM
0:22:58 > 0:22:59All right?
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Rob? What are you doing?
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Guys, this is all my fault.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06No, it's not. It's mine.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10- It is hers.- No, it's mine.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13It turns out I've got kind of a handsome face.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- You do.- And Ollie made me see,
0:23:16 > 0:23:19with great looks come great responsibility.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21My face made you two fall out.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24As if! You two are best friends, super close.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26You're always there for each other.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28You're jealous of Lily and me.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Well, I get jealous of Lily and you sometimes.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33You can't stop being friends over something so silly.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35And just in case you're worried...
0:23:38 > 0:23:40We hide the awesome grill.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Maybe this whole love thing'll wear off pretty quick.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44What do you reckon, Jas?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Just to check...
0:23:49 > 0:23:52- I won't wear it when it's just me and you.- Oh, brilliant!
0:23:59 > 0:24:00APPLAUSE
0:24:01 > 0:24:03I'm so sorry again, Jas.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Well, there is one thing.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13I know you messed up, Mr Malone.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14I just don't know how.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22We ensured our legacy.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32By using our superior intellect to fool some trusting younger children
0:24:32 > 0:24:33who admire us.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I feel guilt, Martha.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39I feel guilt also.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42But we don't worry about people's feelings.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44No, not other people's.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47However, maybe we should worry about our own.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Well, there's nothing we can do about it now.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Isn't there, Martha? Isn't there?
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Oh, hey, don't worry about that.
0:25:01 > 0:25:02I'm totes over you.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Oh.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Is that Lily's brooch?
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Oh, yeah, she gave it to me cos she hates it.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I mean...
0:25:13 > 0:25:14You hate it?
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Well, when Jas says that, she means...
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Well, hate is a very strong word.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25It's more of a love-hate thing,
0:25:25 > 0:25:27with more of the emphasis on love,
0:25:27 > 0:25:31because when it comes to this brooch, I...
0:25:31 > 0:25:32I lo...
0:25:34 > 0:25:36..loathe it!
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Rob, what were you thinking?!
0:25:38 > 0:25:41"Oh, I know, I'm just going to buy my girlfriend the worst brooch in
0:25:41 > 0:25:43"the whole world."
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Apart from this one.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47LILY SCREECHES
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Yeah, apart from that one.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54You should have just said.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56You what?
0:25:56 > 0:25:57You should have just said.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02Yeah, you're so right.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I should have just said.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07I'm sorry.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09ROOSTER CROWS
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Right, that's our stuff out.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22We just need to put their stuff back in.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23THEY CLEAR THEIR THROATS
0:26:23 > 0:26:28Cousin Oliver, Martha, we thought you might try something like this.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Replacing our things with yours.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32No, no, you don't understand. We...
0:26:32 > 0:26:35We understand perfectly.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Now, close the capsule and step away.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41- But we've just...- Shown us the danger of working with your heroes?
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Indeed.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Now, close it and go.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Don't say another word.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51If you say so.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Well, we tried. There's nothing we can do if they won't listen.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Isn't there? Isn't there, Martha?
0:27:02 > 0:27:03No, I don't think so.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Not this time.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08And, really, in 37 years' time,
0:27:08 > 0:27:11who's going to get het up about what was or wasn't buried?
0:27:23 > 0:27:24Here it is.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Remember all those years ago, you said I couldn't pull it off?
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Proved you wrong, didn't I?
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- It's empty.- I can explain.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Er...
0:27:41 > 0:27:42Uh...
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Who am I kidding?
0:27:45 > 0:27:46HE GROANS