Cranmede Fever

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0:00:06 > 0:00:07Where is everyone?

0:00:07 > 0:00:09Dunno.

0:00:13 > 0:00:16Oh, look, there's Rufus.

0:00:16 > 0:00:17Morning, Rufus.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21Odd.

0:00:22 > 0:00:25What's wrong with everyone? It's like a horror movie.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28Oh, it's just the virus that's going round. Nothing to worry about.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Ah, Jas, Lily.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35Did either of you catch Comet C2013X1 last night?

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Hoo, what a belter, eh?

0:00:40 > 0:00:41HE GASPS

0:00:41 > 0:00:45Martha! It's too late! They're already infected!

0:00:47 > 0:00:51GROWLING

0:01:00 > 0:01:02No!!

0:01:03 > 0:01:05And then I was the only person left,

0:01:05 > 0:01:08and everyone was trying to infect me.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Well, it's obviously just your subconscious

0:01:10 > 0:01:13interpreting your deep-seated anxieties about getting ill.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16The short version - you're a complete hypochondriac.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Worrying about getting ill seems perfectly logical to me.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Um, where is everyone?

0:01:22 > 0:01:23Dunno.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25Oh, look, there's Rufus.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26Morning, Rufus.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Oh, no! My dream, it's coming true!

0:01:30 > 0:01:32I'm sorry, Martha, it's every man for himself.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40Oh, sorry, Martha, did you say something?

0:02:18 > 0:02:19Nearly forgot my Salford special.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21I can't catch the flu bug before the quiz.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Lily would never forgive me.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25Fresh batch. Made it this morning.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Guaranteed to keep even the most contagious diseases at bay.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29Thanks, Dad. Bye.

0:02:32 > 0:02:33- One more...- Aaagh!

0:02:35 > 0:02:36Love you.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Last-minute marking again, I see, Jeff.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45And a good morning to you too, Vicky.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48If... Hold on, what are...? What are you doing?

0:02:48 > 0:02:50I'm swapping our pigeonholes.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Malone comes before Parfitt in the alphabet.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54They've been labelled the wrong way round.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56I know. It's always been like that.

0:02:56 > 0:02:57Which is why I'm swapping them.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59- There.- No.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01You can't just swan in and swap things willy-nilly.

0:03:01 > 0:03:02People'll get confused.

0:03:02 > 0:03:03Of course they won't.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05- They will too.- They won't.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07- Uh, will.- They won't.- Will.

0:03:07 > 0:03:08- Won't.- Will.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Won't.- Will.- Won't...

0:03:10 > 0:03:11Morning, children.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Glad to see you're both in today, unlike Mrs Carr,

0:03:14 > 0:03:17who's joined the other 12 members of staff

0:03:17 > 0:03:19who are off with the flu.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21Which means that I'm the school nurse today

0:03:21 > 0:03:25as well as the school postman and everything else.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27Ooh, you see that, Vicky?

0:03:27 > 0:03:32Now this memo's addressed to you but in my pigeonhole.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34Can you see that?

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Utter confusion.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Let's just change these back, shall we?

0:03:38 > 0:03:39There we go...

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Ssh!

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Ssh yourself.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50You ssh first.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52I think maybe perhaps we should...

0:03:52 > 0:03:54- BOTH: Ssh!- Oh, OK, OK.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56What's with all the shushing?

0:03:56 > 0:03:58They're cramming for the polymathlon.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00The whatty-what-a-what?

0:04:00 > 0:04:02It's a general knowledge quiz.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Martha and Ollie's team win it every year.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08Much to the annoyance of Lily. She and Jas always come second.

0:04:08 > 0:04:12So every year they fall out over some stupid quiz?

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Ssh, you'll set them off again.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20Hey, Lily, fancy a walk? This quiz stuff can't be that important.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26What did you just say?

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Did you just suggest...

0:04:28 > 0:04:30..that this isn't important?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Oh, here we go.

0:04:32 > 0:04:36Still lugging that ludicrous thing around with you everywhere you go?

0:04:36 > 0:04:38It's not ludicrous, it's beautiful.

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Actually, I think you'll find that I do most of the lugging.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44There's no point fighting it, Lily. The Big Bangs will always triumph.

0:04:44 > 0:04:49Not this year, Miss Gloaty Pants. This is Team Cupcake's year.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52Prepare to lose. That trophy is ours.

0:04:52 > 0:04:56Nothing will make me relinquish this exquisite symbol of excellence.

0:04:56 > 0:04:57THEY SNEEZE

0:04:57 > 0:04:58Oh.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03So that's a no to the walk, then?

0:05:07 > 0:05:08DOORBELL RINGS

0:05:18 > 0:05:20This is a pre-recorded message.

0:05:20 > 0:05:24Ollie, I'm invoking emergency protocol alpha zero.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26You accidentally teleported a fish finger?

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Which, as you'll remember,

0:05:28 > 0:05:31means I've become too ill to take part in the polymathlon.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35Oh, alpha zero, not alpha two zero. OK.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39So the bad news is I've got the flu.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42I'm running a fever and I keep hallucinating.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46Unless there really are tiny monkeys dancing on the ceiling.

0:05:46 > 0:05:47What's the good news?

0:05:47 > 0:05:49You've got to win the trophy without me.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53The future of the Big Bangs rests on your shoulders.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Failure is not an option. Am I understood?

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Yes. Absolutely.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00You didn't need to answer that, obviously.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03This is a pre-recorded message, remember?

0:06:03 > 0:06:04Right, of course, I'm sorry.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Oh, I did it again!

0:06:07 > 0:06:10You can't let the Big Bangs win again.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13You're joking? There's absolutely no way I can do it without you.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16I'm sorry, but that's my final decision.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18I'll buy you a triple choc chip muffin.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20OK, I'm in.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Got to go. A pink unicorn's running wild on my duvet.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Another hallucination?

0:06:27 > 0:06:30No. I'm just playing with my pink unicorns.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Oh, Mr Malone, do you have a moment?

0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Uh, not really. I was just...- Good.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46So, despite the flu epidemic that's wiping out half the school,

0:06:46 > 0:06:51we're still going ahead with our annual polymathlon quiz. Yay.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Lovely. So...- This year,

0:06:53 > 0:06:55you and I are going to kick off the proceedings

0:06:55 > 0:06:59with a salsa dance extravaganza in front of the whole school.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03What? Me?! Why?

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Your job application - the other skills section, remember?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09North-West Salsa Dancing Champion 2005.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Wow. I had no idea.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Ah, that, yeah, of course.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17I'd forgotten that I definitely did do that...

0:07:17 > 0:07:21Well, I trust you still have your tight all-in-one dancing suit?

0:07:21 > 0:07:22Oh, I hope so.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24No! I mean, no, I don't...

0:07:24 > 0:07:27I just... I don't think I've got the legs for it any more.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29I suspect all you'll need is a quick rehearsal on the day,

0:07:29 > 0:07:31eh, Mr Malone?

0:07:31 > 0:07:34Or should I call you El Fuego?

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Yes.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39It means "the fire" in Spanish.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46She can't have it, Ollie. She can't take it from me.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47It's my precious.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52It talks to me. It tells me things.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54It tells me we must crush them.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57OK, you're beginning to scare me a little bit, Martha.

0:07:57 > 0:08:01Well, I... I do have a temperature of 38.4

0:08:01 > 0:08:03so it could be my fever talking.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06But I still want you to crush them.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08COUGHING

0:08:13 > 0:08:15LOUD HONK

0:08:16 > 0:08:20Rufus. The Big Bangs need someone to replace Martha.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24Someone with huge intelligence and great general knowledge...

0:08:24 > 0:08:27..but I couldn't find anyone like that so it'll have to be you.

0:08:27 > 0:08:31Really? That's brilliant. That's made my day.

0:08:31 > 0:08:32Welcome to the team.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34HE SNEEZES

0:08:36 > 0:08:38On second thoughts, you're fired.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Struggling to find someone healthy enough to replace Martha, are we?

0:08:42 > 0:08:45Shame they don't have my dad's immunity booster,

0:08:45 > 0:08:46the Salford Special.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Yeah, well, you don't have anyone to replace Lily.

0:08:49 > 0:08:53Actually, I do. Uh... Maxwell!

0:08:53 > 0:08:54Sorry?

0:08:54 > 0:08:57You're going to be a Cupcake, aren't you? Great, it's all agreed.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59A what?

0:08:59 > 0:09:02That's a coincidence, cos Cassie has just agreed to be a Big Bang.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Have I?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Yep, that's all settled. Come on, Cassie.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Come on, Maxwell.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09So, we're on opposing teams?

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Gosh. But we're still friends?

0:09:12 > 0:09:15Of course. Good luck, then.

0:09:15 > 0:09:16Um, yes, good luck.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20So, whose team am I on again?

0:09:25 > 0:09:28You do know that lying on your job application's a sackable offence.

0:09:28 > 0:09:32Is it? Well, it's fine cos I haven't lied about anything.

0:09:33 > 0:09:37Well, I suppose we'll soon find out, won't we, El Fuego?

0:09:38 > 0:09:40COUGHING

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Not necessarily.

0:10:01 > 0:10:02HE KNOCKS

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Ooh, Mrs Rennison, I'm really ill.

0:10:05 > 0:10:06Listen.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09HE COUGHS

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Check my temperature.

0:10:12 > 0:10:13You don't look too bad to me.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Ahh, I'm really sweating.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27I think I definitely need to go home now.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29You wanted to see me, Mrs Rennison?

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Ollie, I'm far too busy right now,

0:10:31 > 0:10:33but I think my computer's got a virus.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Yeah, I'm starting to think I've got one myself.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Is it...? Is it hot in here?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Oh, dear, I can feel myself slipping away.

0:10:41 > 0:10:45Ollie, I can't be dealing with time-wasters,

0:10:45 > 0:10:48not when people like Mr Malone really are ill.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54You know what?

0:10:54 > 0:10:56I'm feeling a lot better, so I...

0:10:56 > 0:10:58I'm going to go back to class.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Come with me, Ollie. Come with me.- Yeah, yeah.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Stick to our revision plan.

0:11:04 > 0:11:09Buck up on your capital cities and only eat brain food, not junk food.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Oh, and another thing...

0:11:11 > 0:11:13I'm not sure I need another thing.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16You've got to stop Rob from coming to see me at all costs.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17I look terrible.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20I never knew the human body could produce so much mucus.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22HONK!

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Ooh! Gotta go.

0:11:26 > 0:11:27Hey. Rob.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30You weren't thinking of going round to Lily's after school, were you?

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Yeah, she could do with cheering up. Great idea, Jas.

0:11:33 > 0:11:37But she looks really awful. Big pus-filled boils, the works.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39I don't care how she looks.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42But-but... she smells really awful as well.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Her breath - ooh, she stinks.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47Oh, well, in that case...

0:11:48 > 0:11:49..I'll take gum.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Have you seen Jas? Got to deliver a fresh batch of this.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03Please tell me that's lemonade.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06This is the Salford Special immunity booster.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09I don't suppose it can boost my salsa-dancing abilities, can it?

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Well, that can't...

0:12:12 > 0:12:14..but this can.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16You're looking at the winner of

0:12:16 > 0:12:21the North-West Salsa Dancing Championships 1992.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23You are joking!

0:12:23 > 0:12:27You...you're my job application lie but in human form.

0:12:31 > 0:12:32You told Rob what?!

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Sorry.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37But on the plus side, the other team members are dropping like flies.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Except Ollie, of course.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41GIRL COUGHS

0:12:42 > 0:12:44He just thinks he's going to get ill.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47Interesting. Well, I guess the fear of getting ill

0:12:47 > 0:12:50could be just as bad as actually being ill, can't it?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52I...I guess.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Bad enough to distract someone from maybe, I don't know,

0:12:55 > 0:12:57winning a quiz, for example.

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Yes, yes, you're right!

0:13:00 > 0:13:02So we need to make Ollie more aware of the germs around him.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Stop fraternising with the enemy!

0:13:07 > 0:13:08But she's my best friend.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Well, you should've thought about that before you picked sides.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13This is war.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24Martha, my immune system, it's on the brink of collapse.

0:13:24 > 0:13:25I can just feel it.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27What does the thermometer say?

0:13:27 > 0:13:29It says I'm normal. It must be faulty.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Well, don't be ridiculous. You're not ill.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34But what if he does get ill?

0:13:35 > 0:13:37Yes, you're right, my precious.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40We must find a way to keep him safe.

0:13:40 > 0:13:41Are you talking to the trophy again?

0:13:41 > 0:13:45If only we were well enough to develop a vaccine.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48There might already be a vaccine.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53How do you feel about a little industrial espionage?

0:13:53 > 0:13:54Do I have a choice?

0:13:54 > 0:13:55Not really.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02Jas, old friend. Do you have a moment?

0:14:02 > 0:14:04Oh, Ollie, are you OK?

0:14:04 > 0:14:06You're looking a bit pale.

0:14:06 > 0:14:07Am I?

0:14:07 > 0:14:10No, I... I'm fine. I think.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Anyway, I was wondering if I could speak to you over here?

0:14:13 > 0:14:15OK.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29Hello, Maxwell. I see you have a rigged thermometer.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Yes.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34Jas told me to swap it with Ollie's to make him think he's ill.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35Good plan.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37I presume you're here to steal the drink?

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Yes. Ollie thinks it'll stop him getting ill.

0:14:40 > 0:14:41Good idea.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47We're not very good at working against each other, are we?

0:14:47 > 0:14:51No. Perhaps we should try and be more competitive.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Yes. In that case I shall swap the thermometers.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58And I shall take the drink and there is nothing you can do about it.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07No. It's no good. I can't do it.

0:15:07 > 0:15:08Me neither.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12And back two, three...

0:15:12 > 0:15:13- No, no, and right foot.- OK.

0:15:13 > 0:15:14And back two...

0:15:14 > 0:15:16No, no, and right foot, and back...

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Let's do the turn.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20No. This way.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23- It's too hard.- And lunge!

0:15:24 > 0:15:25It's not what it looks like.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28So Mr Salford isn't giving you an emergency crash course

0:15:28 > 0:15:32in salsa dancing to cover up your very obvious lie?

0:15:32 > 0:15:34OK, it is what it looks like.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Phew. I think I'd better sit down.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38I'm feeling a bit light-headed.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Oh, Jeff.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Lying on your job application? Tut, tut, tut.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45OK. I may have embellished the truth a little bit,

0:15:45 > 0:15:47but I really wanted this job.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Anyway, it's all going to be fine now

0:15:49 > 0:15:51because this guy's going to teach me.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53What, you mean that guy?

0:15:55 > 0:15:57HE SHIVERS

0:15:57 > 0:16:00Just to be sure, the walls are all wobbling for you as well, right?

0:16:01 > 0:16:03HE SNEEZES

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Psst! Something wicked this way comes.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15It's a quote from Shakespeare's Macbeth.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17What I meant was, Ollie's on his way.

0:16:17 > 0:16:18Quick. Give me your water.

0:16:21 > 0:16:22Hey, Ollie, catch.

0:16:24 > 0:16:25Hey! I caught it!

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Oh, Ella dropped it.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29ELLA SNEEZES

0:16:33 > 0:16:34Mrs Rennison?

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Mrs Rennison, get the doctor!

0:16:40 > 0:16:42No, no, no, you can't go home yet. Have more of your drink.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45What, this? Oh, this won't do anything.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47It's just made from stuff around the kitchen.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Don't tell Jas, though.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52She's convinced it works.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54But you're going to be OK, though, right?

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Have there always been two of you?

0:16:57 > 0:16:59OK, maybe you should go home.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08That's it. I'm done for!

0:17:09 > 0:17:11- Unless...- Unless what?

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Well, I know a little salsa.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16And I could teach you if I got something in return,

0:17:16 > 0:17:20like a sensible arrangement of pigeonholes, for instance.

0:17:20 > 0:17:21Really?

0:17:25 > 0:17:28All right, all right, but I'm only agreeing to swap them

0:17:28 > 0:17:29if we can pull this off, OK?

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Fine.

0:17:31 > 0:17:32First I want 20 star jumps.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34Yeah, right!

0:17:34 > 0:17:36I'm serious. Come on, chop, chop.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38- You're going to enjoy this, aren't you?- Yeah.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Ollie and Cassie are up to something.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44You need to watch them like a hawk.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47I already am. They're over there watching us like a hawk.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Oh, thanks, Rob. I love chocolates.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Nice try. These are for Lily.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Wait, Rob!

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Now's our chance. Distract Maxwell.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07You're not going to see Lily, are you?

0:18:07 > 0:18:09These will cheer her up.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Hey!

0:18:13 > 0:18:14Oops. Clumsy me.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16It's all right, five-second rule.

0:18:16 > 0:18:17Oh.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22What? I thought I saw a snake.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26But I've got to distract you.

0:18:26 > 0:18:30Oh, OK. I'm supposed to watch you like a hawk.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31How's he doing?

0:18:34 > 0:18:37I think I need to distract you for a little bit longer.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Well, consider me distracted.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41HE GROANS

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Remind me what this is for again.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Posture. Stop you looking like a lazy jellyfish.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48Are you sure it's meant to hurt this much?

0:18:48 > 0:18:49Yep.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51Now, let's work on your spins.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Uh, I told you, I can't do the spins.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Do you want to keep your job or not?

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Right now, I just want to give up.

0:18:58 > 0:18:59Give up what?

0:18:59 > 0:19:04Give up, uh, teaching me. He's teaching me to salsa dance.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm teaching her, not the other way round,

0:19:07 > 0:19:08and she's terrible at it.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11She can't even get one foot in front of the other.

0:19:11 > 0:19:15Oh, I must say I'm surprised, Vicky. You're usually so capable.

0:19:15 > 0:19:16Yeah. Luckily I'm not the one

0:19:16 > 0:19:19performing in front of the whole entire school tomorrow morning,

0:19:19 > 0:19:21so it doesn't really matter, does it, Mr Malone?

0:19:25 > 0:19:28We need to run the tests again.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Cousin Ollie, we've already run them five times

0:19:30 > 0:19:33and the results are quite conclusive.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36And I want to go home for dinner, because I'm hungry.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38But the ingredients -

0:19:38 > 0:19:41they can't just be orange squash, cold tea and mustard.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44They have no medicinal qualities whatsoever.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48Unless, of course...

0:19:48 > 0:19:50The placebo effect!

0:19:50 > 0:19:53It only works because she thinks it works.

0:19:53 > 0:19:54Cassie, I've cracked it!

0:19:56 > 0:19:57Cassie?

0:19:59 > 0:20:01You can't come in! I'm contagious.

0:20:01 > 0:20:02SHE COUGHS

0:20:02 > 0:20:06OK, if that's what you really want, but I've brought you a present.

0:20:07 > 0:20:10Rob! Rob, wait!

0:20:10 > 0:20:13Lily? Is that you?

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Yeah. Um, that present...

0:20:16 > 0:20:20It isn't by any chance the silver necklace I said I wanted, is it?

0:20:20 > 0:20:24Even better. It's some old chocolates my mum didn't want.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27The soft centres have some footprints on them,

0:20:27 > 0:20:29- but they taste... - No? OK, then. Off you go!

0:20:37 > 0:20:40I was up all night practising my arm loops and my hammer locks,

0:20:40 > 0:20:42and I finally cracked it.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44I'm moving to Australia.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Fresh start, new identity. It is the only way.

0:20:46 > 0:20:47Haven't you heard?

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Mrs Griggs has got the flu. She won't be coming in today.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52That means I'm off the hook!

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Yes! Get in, Jeff!

0:20:54 > 0:20:56He shoots, he scores.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59Yeah, so I'll just go and swap those pigeonholes around.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Oh, no, you don't. That wasn't part of the deal.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03I only agreed to swap them if you got me through the dance,

0:21:03 > 0:21:06and I'm not doing any dancing now, am I?

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Uh, you'll be needing this later.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Uh, no, no, no, no. No. No.

0:21:10 > 0:21:11Mrs Griggs is ill.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Which is why she's made arrangements

0:21:13 > 0:21:16for you to dance with Ms Parfitt instead.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18That's if it's OK with her.

0:21:18 > 0:21:19That would be fine, Mrs Rennison.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22In fact, it would be my absolute pleasure.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Looks like the deal's back on, Jeff.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33May the best team win. Namely, us.

0:21:33 > 0:21:37Assuming you don't catch the plague halfway through the quickfire round.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Uh, well, I could say the same thing to you.

0:21:39 > 0:21:44Considering your so-called immunity drink is nothing but a sham.

0:21:44 > 0:21:45Don't be daft.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47It's a secret blend,

0:21:47 > 0:21:50guaranteed to keep even the most contagious diseases at bay.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52That's what my dad says.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54Oh, you mean that dad?

0:21:54 > 0:21:56HE SNEEZES AND SHIVERS

0:21:58 > 0:22:01It's a secret blend of orange squash,

0:22:01 > 0:22:04cold tea and mustard, apparently.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06So I could get ill at any time?

0:22:06 > 0:22:07Welcome to my world.

0:22:07 > 0:22:11This also means you stole my drink. That's so devious.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14No more devious than you trying to make me think I'm ill.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Well, I didn't have to try very hard at that, did I?

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Come on, Maxwell.

0:22:18 > 0:22:19Yes, come on, Cassie.

0:22:21 > 0:22:22Well, come on, then.

0:22:22 > 0:22:26Actually, cousin Ollie, we shan't be going anywhere with either of you.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28This whole business has been intolerable.

0:22:28 > 0:22:32You've treated us like slaves and set us against each other.

0:22:32 > 0:22:33So we quit.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35- But you can't!- The quiz!

0:22:35 > 0:22:39That's your problem. We can form our own team, can't we, Maxwell?

0:22:39 > 0:22:40As you like it.

0:22:40 > 0:22:43Oh, Shakespeare. Good reference.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46We haven't been that bad, have we?

0:22:46 > 0:22:47Oh.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Maybe we've been a teensy bit bad.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53Yeah.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56Hi, Dad.

0:22:56 > 0:22:57Hey, Jas. I...

0:22:57 > 0:23:00- I feel fantastic today thanks to my drink.- Yeah...

0:23:00 > 0:23:03I think you might have overdone it with the mustard this time.

0:23:03 > 0:23:04You mean you know?

0:23:04 > 0:23:06It's as hot as molten lava.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Why don't you go home and get some rest?

0:23:08 > 0:23:10What, and miss you winning the quiz? No...

0:23:10 > 0:23:13HE COUGHS

0:23:13 > 0:23:14I'll just go.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22MRS GRIGGS: Higher, please.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24Higher.

0:23:24 > 0:23:28Now, before the quiz, we have something very special.

0:23:28 > 0:23:34A fiery taste of salsa from our very own spicy peppers,

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Miss Parfitt and Mr Malone!

0:23:38 > 0:23:40OK?

0:23:40 > 0:23:41- Yeah.- OK...

0:23:41 > 0:23:43CRASHING

0:23:43 > 0:23:44Whoa!

0:23:44 > 0:23:47SALSA MUSIC

0:23:58 > 0:24:00She's onto me. She is onto me.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02- Just do the spin. - No. She knows I can't...

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Oh, sorry.

0:24:07 > 0:24:08- I was, uh...- Jeff!

0:24:08 > 0:24:10..just, uh, just getting a drink.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14Come on, Jeff, you can do this.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19MUSIC BUILDS

0:24:23 > 0:24:25You might have overdone it with the mustard this time.

0:24:25 > 0:24:26It's as hot as molten lava.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29El Fuego!

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Aaargh!

0:24:32 > 0:24:33Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

0:24:35 > 0:24:36Ay! Ay! Ay!

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Give me a spin. Give me a spin!

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Ole!

0:24:51 > 0:24:52CRICKETS CHIRP

0:24:57 > 0:25:00Bravo. Bravo!

0:25:00 > 0:25:03When I'm back to full health, you simply must teach me

0:25:03 > 0:25:05your unique interpretation of the salsa.

0:25:05 > 0:25:09Phew! I think I need to cool down after all that.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Would you mind carrying me over to the window, Mrs Rennison?

0:25:12 > 0:25:16What was that, Mrs Griggs? I think we're losing you.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18The school Wi-Fi must be down.

0:25:18 > 0:25:19But...but...

0:25:19 > 0:25:22If only I could switch her off in real life.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34And how are we this morning, El Fuego?

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Oh, don't mention anything hot. I still can't feel my tongue.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41- At least our pigeonholes are finally the right way round.- Mmm.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Actually, I think that's yours.

0:25:45 > 0:25:46Yeah. These are all for you.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Thank you very much.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51Glad to see you're better.

0:25:51 > 0:25:52You too.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55So you're not smarting too much from yesterday?

0:25:55 > 0:25:56On the contrary. You?

0:25:56 > 0:25:58Why would I be smarting?

0:25:58 > 0:26:01We won the quiz as usual, thanks to Ollie.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03I don't think so.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06We won the quiz this year, thanks to Jas.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Well, both teams can't have won.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11Uh, actually, that's exactly what happened.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13What are you talking about?

0:26:13 > 0:26:14Well, um...

0:26:14 > 0:26:17This is the decider.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21Whoever gets this right will win this year's polymathlon.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24Sinapis alba is the Latin name for which plant?

0:26:24 > 0:26:25BUZZ!

0:26:25 > 0:26:27I can't tell who buzzed first.

0:26:27 > 0:26:31I think perhaps you should answer this one, Jas.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34Sinapis alba - the Latin name for the white mustard plant.

0:26:35 > 0:26:39Is the correct answer. We have a winning team.

0:26:39 > 0:26:40The Big Cakes!

0:26:40 > 0:26:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:44 > 0:26:45Ow!

0:26:45 > 0:26:48Being enemies was just so time-consuming

0:26:48 > 0:26:51that joining forces was the obvious solution, wasn't it, Jas?

0:26:51 > 0:26:54Hmm? Sorry, I was thinking about big cakes.

0:26:54 > 0:26:57We really should have called ourselves the Cup Bangs.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59So, this is still mine?

0:26:59 > 0:27:02Um, it's ours.

0:27:02 > 0:27:03But I can look after it.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05Uh, I think you'll find it's my turn!

0:27:09 > 0:27:10Mine!

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Lily? Feeling better, then?

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Um, I'm sorry about the other day.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18I just didn't want you to see me looking stupid.

0:27:18 > 0:27:19No, of course.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22You wouldn't want anyone to see you looking stupid, would you?

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Well, then, now that everything's back to normal,

0:27:26 > 0:27:27we should probably get to class.

0:27:27 > 0:27:30Don't you think you're being a bit over the top?

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Oh, no, Jas. Out there, there are plenty of germs,

0:27:32 > 0:27:35but in here I am perfectly safe.

0:27:35 > 0:27:36HE SNEEZES

0:27:38 > 0:27:41Mrs Rennison! This time it's real!

0:27:41 > 0:27:42Call an ambulance!