0:00:02 > 0:00:04Morning, darling.
0:00:04 > 0:00:05Cereal?
0:00:05 > 0:00:06Mm-hm.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Which one?
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Um...cornflakes.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Which milk?
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Skimmed, semi-skimmed, whole, organic, goat's, almond?
0:00:16 > 0:00:17Skimmed?
0:00:17 > 0:00:19What colour bowl?
0:00:20 > 0:00:22What size spoon?
0:00:26 > 0:00:28BOOM!
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Oh!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Maybe she wanted toast.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Morning, darling.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Cereal?
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Toast!
0:01:16 > 0:01:20I've been thinking of potential names for our secret project
0:01:20 > 0:01:23to create smartphone technology that can be controlled by blinking.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25What's wrong with its current name -
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Secret Project To Create Smartphone Technology
0:01:27 > 0:01:29That Can Be Controlled By Blinking?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Mm, it's a bit time-consuming?
0:01:31 > 0:01:34But I thought, from now on, we could call it Project...
0:01:34 > 0:01:36TINKLING
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Project...? TINKLING
0:01:39 > 0:01:40I like it.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Yes!
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Oh, you've done it, darling!
0:01:46 > 0:01:50"We're delighted to offer Martha Fitzgerald a place...
0:01:50 > 0:01:52BOTH: "..at Greatacre School for Girls"!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Oh, my old school!
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Every year, they hand-pick the creme de la creme of students
0:01:57 > 0:02:01from across the country, and this year they've picked you.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02This is brilliant news.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04I would have been the first person in the county to go there,
0:02:04 > 0:02:06if I hadn't been beaten to it by
0:02:06 > 0:02:09County Student Of The Year Belinda Watts...
0:02:09 > 0:02:11PAPER SCRUNCHES
0:02:11 > 0:02:15Belinda "Big Brain" Watts...
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Ahem!
0:02:19 > 0:02:24And now you can replicate my journey to greatness.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28One of those steps is going to Greatacre.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40There are many paths to greatness, Martha,
0:02:40 > 0:02:42but only one path to Greatacre.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46And that path is 372 miles away.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49It's slightly longer than your current commute,
0:02:49 > 0:02:51which is why Martha will be boarding there full-time.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55- We can see each other at weekends. - There are no weekends at Greatacre -
0:02:55 > 0:02:58becoming great is a full-time pursuit.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00We can video conference each other.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01That's the Greatacre attitude -
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- solutions not problems. - OLLIE WHEEZES AND GASPS
0:03:04 > 0:03:06We both need to accept your place online,
0:03:06 > 0:03:07but first, we need to get Mrs Griggs
0:03:07 > 0:03:09to sign these forms to verify your grades.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11- We've got until the end of the week.- Understood.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15Isn't this just the best day of our careers?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16I mean, lives!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Is there a difference?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23HE WHEEZES
0:03:26 > 0:03:29There are many paths to greatness,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31but only one path to Greatacre.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35So, in summary, I'm leaving at the end of term. Any questions?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46In this, my darkest hour,
0:03:46 > 0:03:48I have concluded there is just one way
0:03:48 > 0:03:51to cope with a Martha-less existence.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Cold turkey.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58No, it's peanut butter and ham.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01Wait, no... Look, no.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04I mean, the only way to prepare ourselves for Martha leaving
0:04:04 > 0:04:08is to go cold turkey. Cut off all contact with her from now on.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Won't we be better off making the most of Martha
0:04:11 > 0:04:12while she's still here?
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Cherishing each moment, building new memories.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Mm, what she said.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Let the record show...
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I tried.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Forget cold turkey, we'll do the complete opposite.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Hot nut roast?
0:04:33 > 0:04:36That's what will happen if Martha Fitzgerald leaves.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37More recycling?
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Our grade average will drop, we'll slide down the league tables,
0:04:41 > 0:04:43and we can kiss goodbye to the funding
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- for the dance hall named in my honour.- By you!
0:04:46 > 0:04:50So, I've come up with a plan to stop Martha from leaving.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Which is?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Ask Mrs Rennison if she has any idea
0:04:54 > 0:04:56how we can stop Martha from leaving.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Oh!- Well?- It's her choice.
0:04:58 > 0:05:03Once you've signed the form, she'll be consigned to Cranmede history.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Unless I don't sign the forms.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09If I hide from her, I can't sign, and she can't leave.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11That's it, I'll hide.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Genius!
0:05:15 > 0:05:20SCOTTISH ACCENT: "Where is Mrs Griggs gone?
0:05:20 > 0:05:23"Oh, she's nowhere to be found.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27"If she cannae be found, she cannae be signing any forms."
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Oh!
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were there.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Ollie!
0:05:41 > 0:05:43We have to talk.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46It's about Project... TINKLING
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Oh, er...
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Ollie, you have to look at me, or the name won't work.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Ollie, if this is a game, A, I don't know the rules,
0:05:55 > 0:05:57and B, I don't like the game.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Look at me.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04I have an overdue library book to return.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08OK.
0:06:08 > 0:06:09Well, I'll see you at one for
0:06:09 > 0:06:12our regular catch up on Project... TINKLING
0:06:12 > 0:06:14SHE SIGHS
0:06:14 > 0:06:17I'm really starting to go off that name.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Hey, Lily, I bet you can't wait to support Rob
0:06:20 > 0:06:21at the match this week, eh?
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Oh, Lily's allergic to football.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27This isn't any old match - didn't Rob tell you?
0:06:27 > 0:06:31A City United football scout is coming to watch him.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36A top-of-the-league, cup-winning City United -
0:06:36 > 0:06:39this could be a huge opportunity for Rob.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- He hasn't...- ..Stopped talking about it? Me neither!
0:06:42 > 0:06:46I'm surprised you haven't been telling the whole world
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- about it, too.- He hasn't mentioned it yet.- Ooh, awkward...!
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Hey, if they sign him, he'll be mega famous and you'll be his Wag.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Ah! Rude!
0:06:55 > 0:06:57No, it means "wife and girlfriend".
0:06:57 > 0:07:03In many ways, Rob very much remind me of myself at his age -
0:07:03 > 0:07:06star of the football team, natural leader, funny guy...
0:07:06 > 0:07:09I remember, in one game, we were 2-0 down and I got the ball,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12I was on the left-hand side, I was a left winger...
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Delay Martha for me!
0:07:21 > 0:07:24I'm not sure I can - Martha can be very determined.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Let me put it another way. If Martha leaves,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29things won't look so rosy for the History grade average,
0:07:29 > 0:07:33which means having to cut the History budget, such as your salary.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Delay Martha for me?- Absolutely.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- Mrs Griggs...! - Hey, Martha, glad I found you!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- I'm here to see Mrs Griggs. - Yeah, but this is important.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44You see, we need to talk about Grey...Flood...School?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Greatacre.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I've heard things - things that will stop you wanting to go there.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Excuse...- Yeah, the school's got BO.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Yeah, its got the stinkiest kids in Britain,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56and the caretaker is particularly stinky.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58And as for the teachers, whew!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Excuse me.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03And...they haven't got any toilets!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05SHE KNOCKS
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Do you want to hang out at mine after school on Thursday?
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Unless you've got some potentially life-changing plans, that is?
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Sounds great.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Oh, no can do.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- Got a match on Thursday. - Oh, really?
0:08:34 > 0:08:38I had ABSOLUTELY no idea in the slightest.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41In that case, I'll come along.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43But you're allergic to football.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47I'll just watch with the other watchers...
0:08:47 > 0:08:49..coming to watch you.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50It's only a friendly.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54Yeah, and I'm your girl-friendly.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57So I'll come and support you.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Is there anyone else coming that I should know of?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02The caretaker sometimes comes.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04SHE SIGHS
0:09:07 > 0:09:09BOOM! >
0:09:11 > 0:09:13LAUGHTER
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Why are you sitting here?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28It's taken, sorry.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Oh, Martha, I hear congratulations are in order.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Greatacre is an establishment I hope to attend.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36It's good to aim high.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40Actually, they've already offered me a place for when I'm older.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- And wiser?- No, just older.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Ollie, shall we leave
0:09:45 > 0:09:48to work on Project...? TINKLING
0:09:48 > 0:09:50I choose to stay here.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Oh, OK. Very well.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57I repeat, why are you sitting here?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- HE SIGHS - When Martha leaves,
0:09:59 > 0:10:02she'll be making new friends, so I am, too,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05and with an absence of worthy candidates, you two will have to do.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15"Martha is leaving, too sad to speak."
0:10:15 > 0:10:18What?! But you don't even know her.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20I'm the only one qualified to mourn Martha -
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- I'm so sad, I haven't slept in days. - I just toss and turn.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I'm so sad I've gone off all my food.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- I can't even spell "food". - OK, well, I'm so sad,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31I'm making a memory book of all the things we've done together.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34What a fantastic idea! I'll make one, too.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35The challenge has been set.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38When the books are complete, we'll judge them
0:10:38 > 0:10:41and crown one of you Top Mourner.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43OK.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49The caretaker sometimes comes!
0:10:49 > 0:10:54Well, at least I'm taking this life-changing opportunity seriously,
0:10:54 > 0:10:56- even if he's not.- Concentrate.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Right, let's try this again.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Describe the handbag on page nine.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07OMD, hashtag...totes gorge, er...
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I'm well jel...
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Pretty good.
0:11:11 > 0:11:16Semi colon, right bracket. Smiley face winking.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Have you seen Mrs Griggs?
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Martha, I can speak text.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- What?- Oh, I'm teaching her the ways of the Wag.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- You can help.- Yeah, it'll be our last chance to work together.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Colon, left bracket, sad face.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- I have to get these signed, I don't really have time.- For friends?
0:11:36 > 0:11:37To waste.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39We're a waste of time?
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I just don't have time for child's play.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45This isn't child's play.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48This is a chance for me to support Rob and make him proud
0:11:48 > 0:11:51on the most important day of his life,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53even if he hasn't mentioned it to me yet.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56This is my life.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58And this is mine -
0:11:58 > 0:12:00my real life -
0:12:00 > 0:12:04not some football make-believe.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06If you're too obsessed with Greatacre
0:12:06 > 0:12:09to help a friend at an important moment in her life,
0:12:09 > 0:12:11then maybe...
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Maybe you SHOULD leave!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Now you really are being childish.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Hashtag, chill.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Is that right?
0:12:28 > 0:12:30A what?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32A Wag. I looked it up online,
0:12:32 > 0:12:36it means a wife and/or girlfriend of a footballer.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38So now the girls aren't speaking to me
0:12:38 > 0:12:41and Ollie's acting odd around me, too.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Perfect preparation for Greatacre.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45There's no speaking during school hours,
0:12:45 > 0:12:47so you can focus on studying.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Although, of course, that didn't apply
0:12:49 > 0:12:53to County Student Of The Year Belinda Watts.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Surely we can speak at lunch?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Heavens, no, lunchtime is called Recharge -
0:12:58 > 0:13:02a time to sit in silence and prepare your mind for more learning.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Isn't that just a perfect concept?
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Perfect.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Money is no object to a Wag, but it is an object for us,
0:13:12 > 0:13:16so I've created some budget outfits inspired by the catwalk.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Right.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Well?
0:13:22 > 0:13:26Why are they all so very yellow...?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29The colour of City United's kit, silly.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31I'm sorry, Jas, these just won't do.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34It's vital that I look really elegant to make Rob proud.
0:13:34 > 0:13:39To show him that I'm, like, totally sophisticated.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Oh, although these are all right,
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- I've always wanted to be a bit taller.- My work is done.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55RINGING
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Cold turkey, be strong.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04BEEPING
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Phew.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16SHE CHOKES
0:14:16 > 0:14:18It's cold.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19That's the Greatacre way.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Hot drinks make you sleepy, cold drinks make you alert,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24and alert people learn more.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29So, drink up. And I bought you this...
0:14:31 > 0:14:33..to celebrate getting into Greatacre.
0:14:34 > 0:14:39So, now we can chart your journey to becoming just like me.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Thank you.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I can almost do it.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Stay focused, Lily,
0:14:47 > 0:14:50you need a basic understanding of football to impress Rob.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54I wish Martha was here to back me up.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55SHE SIGHS
0:14:55 > 0:14:57You're right, carry on.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Lesson one, the offside rule.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04Baby Sparkles, Lucy Lion, Pecky Hen and Super Derek are our defenders,
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- also known as the back four. - The back four...?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Crumples the Bunny is our striker.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12The player is offside if he is nearer to his opponents' goal line
0:15:12 > 0:15:14than both the ball and the second-last opponent.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16So, is Crumples the Bunny offside?
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Look, Jas, I can almost do it!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Ah!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Hashtag, ouch!
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Ollie, drop everything, I've had a major breakthrough
0:15:36 > 0:15:38with Project... TINKLING
0:15:38 > 0:15:41It will make your jaw drop.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- STUTTERING:- Now's not really...a...great time.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Now is the perfect time, Ollie.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48TINKLING
0:15:48 > 0:15:50MOBILE TRILLS
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Consider my jaw dropped!
0:15:52 > 0:15:55It's just a prototype, but with your coding skills,
0:15:55 > 0:15:57we can finish it before I move to Greatacre.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59What's that?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Yeah, it's a...
0:16:03 > 0:16:05It's just a project, really,
0:16:05 > 0:16:08and I really haven't got time for you right now.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10For this.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Ah, sorry.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19It's OK to admit you're nervous, there's a lot riding on the game.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Nervous!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Last season, we beat them 11-0 -
0:16:22 > 0:16:24and they were lucky to get the nil.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25That's a joke, Lils.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Well, it's time you took it more seriously,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31especially if football is going to be your career.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35My career? It's just a game of football.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Just a game of football?- Yes.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- "Yes"?!- You're scaring me now.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Scared?
0:16:42 > 0:16:46You can't buckle under pressure on the football field, Rob Edwards!
0:16:46 > 0:16:49You need to perform when all eyes on you, judging you,
0:16:49 > 0:16:51deciding your future!
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Whatevs.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02Did the subtle hint work? Did he mention the football scout?
0:17:02 > 0:17:06No, he clearly doesn't want me there. Should I be suspicious?
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Say "no"! Say "no"! Say "no".
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Yes!
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- Sometimes I wish you were a better liar, Jas.- Me, too...
0:17:19 > 0:17:23- May I?- Oh, still no signature from Mrs Griggs?
0:17:23 > 0:17:27- Changed your mind, decided you're not cut out for Greatacre?- My forms?
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Of course, it's hard for me to understand your dilemma,
0:17:31 > 0:17:33as I've already got my place at Greatacre.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38I've so got to find Mrs Griggs.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Has she gone?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Has she gone?
0:18:12 > 0:18:13Has she gone?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29"Delete Martha?"
0:18:30 > 0:18:32"Yes".
0:18:35 > 0:18:37What have I done?!
0:18:40 > 0:18:42It's very...
0:18:43 > 0:18:44..heavy.
0:18:44 > 0:18:49We ate these every day at Greatacre, they're called Cerebral Cakes.
0:18:49 > 0:18:55But Belinda Watts nicknamed them Belinda Brain Bombs.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59The unique mix of herbs and vitamins is meant to boost IQ.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04BOTH GAG
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Hm...
0:19:07 > 0:19:09I'd forgotten how good they taste.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12I can't wait to finish mine...
0:19:12 > 0:19:14..later.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15SMASHING
0:19:17 > 0:19:21You know, it's almost as if Mrs Griggs is trying to avoid me.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25I won't let her stop your journey to greatness.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I think it's time I popped in
0:19:27 > 0:19:30and had a friendly little word in her ear.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Griggs!
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Sign the forms.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Yes, unfortunately, my pen has just exploded.
0:19:37 > 0:19:42Unfortunately, I've superglued my hand into a useless fist.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44I can read you like a book!
0:19:44 > 0:19:46A gripping page-turner, I hope!
0:19:46 > 0:19:48More like an overdue library book...
0:19:48 > 0:19:50..with pages missing!
0:19:50 > 0:19:51You think if Martha leaves,
0:19:51 > 0:19:55so does your dream of having the Mrs Griggs Dance Hall, hm?
0:19:55 > 0:19:58But remind me, who controls the school finances?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Hang on, I know this one...
0:20:01 > 0:20:03The Governors. And who's the Chair of Governors,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06and can therefore heavily influence their decision
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- IF these forms get signed?- You?
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Exactly. No signature, and there'll be no help from me.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16How's that glued fist?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Oh, what a relief!
0:20:18 > 0:20:20The glue isn't so super after all.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Where shall I sign?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- The Martha memory books? - Let's see them.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44And this is volume two.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00The winner...
0:21:00 > 0:21:02..and Top Mourner is...
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Oh, she's achieved so much!
0:21:10 > 0:21:14"County Student Of The Year Martha Fitzgerald
0:21:14 > 0:21:17"Wins The Watts Trophy,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20"Named After Belinda Watts."
0:21:20 > 0:21:23If Martha wins for a third year,
0:21:23 > 0:21:25they'll rename it after her.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29The Fitzgerald Trophy?
0:21:29 > 0:21:31That won't happen now, though.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35When Martha moves, it'll probably be the Watts Trophy forever.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Oh!
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- What's that?- Um... It, er... Um...
0:21:48 > 0:21:51The day we won the Science Fair, did you make this for me?
0:21:52 > 0:21:53No, of course not!
0:21:53 > 0:21:57It's just a meaningless project I got forced to do.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Behold the final piece of the Wag puzzle.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Every celebrity worth their salt has their own perfume,
0:22:18 > 0:22:20and now, so do you.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22May I introduce Offside by Lily?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Whoop, whoop!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27The gorgeous fragrance of peaches and cream.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28Whoop, whoop!
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Made using actual peaches and cream.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Whoop...! What?
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Mm, so moreish, a perfume and handy snack in one.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40The secret is letting it ferment overnight in my socks.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Offside by Lily!
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Hang on, did you say "socks"?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Do you accept your place at Greatacre?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05"Martha And Ollie's Next Chapter".
0:23:12 > 0:23:17Do you accept Martha Fitzgerald's place at Greatacre?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Yes.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28The Watts Trophy.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31If Martha wins for a third year, they'll rename it after her...
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- BOTH:- No.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- BOTH:- Are you sure?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- BOTH:- Yes.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- How am I going to tell Mother? - How am I going to tell Martha?
0:23:54 > 0:23:58SHOUTING
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Lily?
0:24:08 > 0:24:09WHISTLE
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Referee!
0:24:11 > 0:24:15He was clearly nearer to the opponents' goal line
0:24:15 > 0:24:17than both the ball and the second-last opponent.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Come on, Rob, score!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25What do we want? Goals!
0:24:25 > 0:24:26When do we want them? Now!
0:24:26 > 0:24:30When do we want? Goals! When do we want them? Now!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33You're not a fan of chants? Mexican wave?
0:24:33 > 0:24:34Ooh, yeah!
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Oh, see number seven there? Rob Edwards? He's great, isn't he?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Rob Edwards!
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Mm, your new perfume is delish.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48So what have I missed?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Not much from Rob, he hasn't done nearly enough ball-kicking,
0:24:52 > 0:24:54or that thing where you hit it with your head.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57It's as if he's not trying.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00This might help.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02On reflection, I probably ate most of the ingredients,
0:25:02 > 0:25:05so it's not as full as I hoped.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Spoiler alert, it smells like...
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Socks.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13True, but, all in all, it's not bad for a first attempt.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Oh, what's he doing now?
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Where are you going? - To tell Rob to try harder.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Rob.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Rob!
0:25:28 > 0:25:29Rob!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Lily, what are you wearing?
0:25:35 > 0:25:36- Ah! - THUD!
0:25:38 > 0:25:40BOTH: Oooh!
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Oh, Rob!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Nice and steady. You all right?
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Oh, I've ruined it for Rob, haven't I?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Say "no"! Say "no"! Say "no"!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Yes!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I was looking for you.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Before you speak, there's something I want to say.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Whenever I imagined the next chapter in my life,
0:26:08 > 0:26:10you were always there alongside me,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13so I found your news hard to process.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17But I just want you to know that I support your decision to go.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19I'm staying.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22You're...? You're... You're staying?
0:26:22 > 0:26:24- TINKLING PHONE:- Affirmative.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26HE LAUGHS
0:26:26 > 0:26:28I made it for you!
0:26:30 > 0:26:31It's a long story.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36I just wanted to prove I was cool enough to be your Wag,
0:26:36 > 0:26:40and now I feel terrible for ruining your dream of joining City United.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44City United? That football scout was from City Town.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46I didn't mention it because they're in a lower league
0:26:46 > 0:26:48than the team I currently play for.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Oh!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52You know, you don't have to attack me with a handbag
0:26:52 > 0:26:54to spend time alone with me, Lily.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59HE SNIFFS
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Can you smell socks?
0:27:04 > 0:27:07So much peaches and cream.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Mother.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10Martha.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13I'll just let you two....
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Jas, shall we...?
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Too full, just pretend I'm not here.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23BOTH: I turned down the place.
0:27:23 > 0:27:24BOTH: You did?
0:27:24 > 0:27:25BOTH: I did.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27THEY LAUGH
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Like mother, like daughter.- Exactly.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36And, remember, we've not said "no" to Greatacre - simply "not yet".
0:27:36 > 0:27:39There are many paths to greatness, Martha, and this is yours.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- Brain Bomb to celebrate? - I'll pass.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Yes. Me, too.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Jas?
0:27:48 > 0:27:49SHE GAGS