0:00:02 > 0:00:05- So, this is nice.- Yeah. It's great your mum's so cool about us.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07I wouldn't say cool.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09I'd say more sort of...
0:00:09 > 0:00:11loitery.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Hm? Oh, me?
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Oh! Pretend I'm not even here.
0:00:16 > 0:00:17So I was thinking maybe we could...
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- Squash?- Mum, we don't want squash.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22We're not kids!
0:00:22 > 0:00:25- Right.- Actually, I wouldn't mind a squash.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Great! Stay there.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Finally. Now we can talk properly.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Yeah, just the two of us.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34And Crumples the bunny.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36What?
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Oh!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40How did he get there?
0:00:40 > 0:00:43My mum must have got him out. I definitely don't sleep with him.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46No. That'd probably make Sparkles the pony jealous.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49And Pecky the hen.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53Where are they all coming from? I don't even have toys any more.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- I'm all grown up.- Don't worry.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I'll put them away.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Not that cupboard!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Aah!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Oh!
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Rob! Rob!
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Rob, where are you?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21I'm just over here.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Oh good, yeah.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Just checking.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32# Ooh ooh ooh
0:01:32 > 0:01:34# Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
0:01:36 > 0:01:40# So so so so so so
0:01:40 > 0:01:43# Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
0:01:44 > 0:01:47# Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
0:01:48 > 0:01:53# So so so so so so so so
0:01:53 > 0:01:54# Ooh
0:01:54 > 0:01:57# So awkward. #
0:01:57 > 0:01:59I can't decide.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Should I get the skaleg or the koft?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Neither - they both sound like diseases!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06They're Swedish names for beds.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Which mattress has the highest pocket spring count?
0:02:09 > 0:02:13The skaleg, but the koft is more sophisticated, like me.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Oh, what about that one?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17It looks like a pirate ship - brilliant!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20No, Jas! This is exactly what I'm trying to get away from.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I want a cool room that me and Rob can hang out in without him
0:02:23 > 0:02:27disappearing underneath an avalanche of toys and dollies.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28What?
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I want a room full of sophisticated stuff.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Like... Oh, a stitsu!
0:02:36 > 0:02:41- Bless you.- No - a stitsu, it's a hatstand, obviously.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Is Mrs Griggs in here?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Don't tell me you're avoiding her again!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Bang on. She's looking for some idiot to organise
0:02:51 > 0:02:52the charity auction.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- Oh, sounds like you fit the bill perfectly.- Ha, ha, ha!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Yeah, I know. I organised it last year, and total disaster.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Never again.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Ah, Miss Parfitt. Have you seen Mr Malone?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Yeah, he's just...
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- ..gone.- Oh, well, I'll catch up with him later.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Um...um... Mrs Griggs,
0:03:13 > 0:03:17would now be a good time for you to demonstrate that yoga move
0:03:17 > 0:03:21- you wanted to show me? - Oh, the downward twisting peacock.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Yes. I'd began to think you weren't interested.
0:03:25 > 0:03:30All you do is raise your rear as if showing off your glorious plumage,
0:03:30 > 0:03:31and...
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Mr Malone?- Ah, Mrs Griggs!
0:03:33 > 0:03:36I like to come down here to think.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Helps me put a different perspective on things.
0:03:38 > 0:03:43Ah! Reinventing the creative thinking space, I like it.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Now, the charity auction, what are your plans this year?
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Well, to be honest, seeing as we only raised £14 last year,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52I was thinking we should give it a miss.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Nonsense. I love being the auctioneer.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I've even got a little hammer thingy.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Right, well, the thing is, I'm just...
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I'm very busy with, you know,
0:04:02 > 0:04:04important schoolwork.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Nonsense, you just need some help.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Miss Parfitt. Would you care to join us in our creative thinking space?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Mr Malone is struggling to organise the charity auction
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- so I've decided you need to help him.- No!- No!
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Great. The dream team working together in perfect harmony.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Sold!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I'm not even going to ask.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39So this clips in here,
0:04:39 > 0:04:42and then the baby simply goes in...
0:04:42 > 0:04:46or...maybe here.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Anyway, it's very simple.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Apparently.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Anyway, moving on, any idea what this is?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Easy. It's the Azonda 710 tablet.
0:05:02 > 0:05:0432GB version by the look of it.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Good-size screen but slightly outdated processor.
0:05:07 > 0:05:12Ah, that's where you're wrong. Meet infant simulator 2.0,
0:05:12 > 0:05:15the future of interactive parenting education.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17BLOWS RASPBERRY
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Hang on, it shouldn't do that, if...
0:05:20 > 0:05:22OK. Right.
0:05:22 > 0:05:28Good. So this week we're going to have a little social experiment
0:05:28 > 0:05:32to study the effects of a new baby on its parents.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34I need responsible volunteers.
0:05:36 > 0:05:41Nobody? I'm deliberately ignoring you, Jas - I said responsible.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42I am responsible!
0:05:42 > 0:05:46You caused a civil war in citizenship class.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Martha, Ollie, how about you two?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Perhaps it would be better to give the task to someone
0:05:52 > 0:05:54who might find it a bit more of a challenge.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57We calculate quadratic equations blindfolded.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59How hard can a baby app be?
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Oh, no, you wouldn't want to risk failure, I understand.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- Anybody else?- Wait!
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Er, we'll do it.- Congratulations.
0:06:08 > 0:06:09You're having a baby.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12BELL RINGS
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- Come on. Hand over the stapler. - I haven't got your stapler.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20I've got my own stapler.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Let me have a look at it.- No.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Had any ideas about the charity auction yet?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Ah, there's no point. Trust me, if we make more than £50,
0:06:29 > 0:06:30I'll eat this nappy.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Oh, really?
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Well, in that case I'd better make it a massive success, hadn't I?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36And it is my stapler.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40- Get off!- Don't mess with the best cos the best don't mess!
0:06:44 > 0:06:48So I was thinking a white floorboard with a simple sisal rug.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Or I was thinking we could have lots of fun making our own furniture
0:06:52 > 0:06:55and accessories. You know, up-cycle.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56It's the in thing.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I'm not sure that's true, Mum.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01We could sand down your old bed and give it a fresh new look
0:07:01 > 0:07:03- with this wallpaper.- Oh!
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Who wallpapers a bed?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Exactly. It's original.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Jas, help me out here.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Wallpapered bed, brilliant.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Maybe you could stencil the walls with purple glitter paint.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Er, hello, not helping.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18The Rob-meister would love it.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20The Rob-meister?
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Oh, I've got a brilliant idea
0:07:22 > 0:07:25from watching last night's Homespun Homes.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30They upcycled some old jeans to make denim curtains.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Aren't those my favourite vintage jeans?
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Vintage curtains now.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Don't worry, love. I can always downcycle them again.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Come on, Jas.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45For the record, Mrs H, I think your design ideas are great.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Oh, thanks, Jas.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I think Lily would like them too if she could see them for real.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Maybe we could surprise her,
0:07:51 > 0:07:52do our own makeover.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56Yes! We could do it at the weekend when she's out.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57She'd love that.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01Oh! What about a laptop case made out of an old pizza box?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Let's think about that.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12There. I've devised a spreadsheet with a strict feeding
0:08:12 > 0:08:15and sleep plan, and set alarms to keep us on schedule.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17It says here we should give it a name.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19How ridiculous!
0:08:19 > 0:08:20What's its number?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22LE182C.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Oh, that'll do. It's just a piece of hardware.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Ah. Apparently you've just given birth.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Welcome to the world, LE182C.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35BEEPING AND CRYING
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Time for its first feed.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42This is going to be a piece of cake.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- TV:- Two minutes before the start of the show...
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Come on, love. It's Saturday morning.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Shouldn't you be out with your friends, shopping,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58or playing skittles or something?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01No, I'm staying in and having a duvet day.
0:09:03 > 0:09:10THEY MOUTH
0:09:14 > 0:09:16What are you doing?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Nothing.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Love you. Lily silky bum bum.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Martha, is that you?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31The baby. It's a living nightmare!
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- CRYING:- You said this was going to be easy!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Why won't it sleep? It's time for it to sleep.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Just give it some food.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- I've just fed it! - Then feed it some more!
0:09:42 > 0:09:44We have to stick to the schedule.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Make it stop!
0:09:54 > 0:09:56BEEP
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Oh! I wonder who that could be!
0:10:02 > 0:10:05It's Rob! He wants to meet at the cinema.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Really? What a surprise!
0:10:07 > 0:10:09You should go. Come on.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Can I just, um, get dressed first?
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Yes. Good girl.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32RINGING, CRYING
0:10:32 > 0:10:34No!
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- Oh!- How can it even hear? It's just an app!
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Interesting. It must use the tablet's built-in microphone to...
0:10:43 > 0:10:45No, not interesting.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Annoying. And by the way, it's your turn.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51CRYING CONTINUES
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Hi, Martha, I was just calling to ask if you fancied coming round
0:10:55 > 0:10:56to Lily's to help me drink 15 pints of milk,
0:10:56 > 0:10:59but now I'm saying it out loud, it sounds a bit weird,
0:10:59 > 0:11:01So ignore this message.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03I'll just drink it myself. Thanks. Bye!
0:11:08 > 0:11:12What she doesn't understand is that I don't want a fun upcycled room.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16I want something that reflects the sophisticated young woman I am.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- Fizzy jelly dummy?- Oh, yes! Yum!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Got those milk bottle tops for the lampshade, Mrs H.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27STOMACH CHURNS
0:11:28 > 0:11:32You must have been collecting those for ages! There's loads.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Yeah, 15.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36STOMACH CHURNS
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Oh. There. All done.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45Oh, I think I might have accidentally upcycled you.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Good call with the movie. Great idea.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Wait, I thought that was your idea.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55No, you texted me first, remember?
0:11:55 > 0:11:58"Yo, Rob-meister, want to see a movie?"
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Rob-meister? That's what Jas calls you.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Jas texted you on my phone.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Well, either that or our phones are trying to get us together.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12- Joke.- Jas tried to set us up, but the question is why?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16OK, that's why.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Isn't this great?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Let me guess - Jas helped you.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23How did you know?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Oh, look at this lamp.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Used to be a kettle.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31And look at your new glitter ball,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33made from upcycled milk bottle tops.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41Oops! Don't worry, soon upcycle that back together again.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45And what about your storage, for all your toys?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Mum, that's not storage.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49It's like half a car.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- You don't like it, do you? - Well, it's a bit dark in here.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54You could at least open the curtains.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- No, don't.- Hello!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Jas! What are you doing behind the curtains?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Well, technically I am the curtains.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10Oh.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14There you are, Ellie... I mean LE182C.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Updating firmware?
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Martha Fitzgerald!
0:13:24 > 0:13:27You're hacking our baby, aren't you?
0:13:27 > 0:13:28No, that's an awful thing to say.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Martha!- I'm not hacking it, I'm improving it.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34By disabling its crying.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36You're playing God!
0:13:38 > 0:13:40What have I become?
0:13:40 > 0:13:44- I thought you'd like it. - It's not just the room, Mum.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48- You've got to let me grow up. - I suppose you're right.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Why don't you get rid of all those toys?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53I mean, as a grown-up, you probably don't want them any more, right?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Um...right.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Sophisticated young women don't have toys, I guess.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Yes, that's certainly more grown up.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03There's a charity auction at school on Monday.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07You could donate them. That way they'll go to a good home.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Problem solved.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12That's settled, then. We're saying goodbye to your toys.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17And your childhood. Excuse me a moment.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21There, free at last.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Hold on.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26This is the chair I painted, isn't it?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35I just think you might be a tad delusional, Vicky,
0:14:35 > 0:14:36like a really big tad.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Well, at least I don't steal other people's stationery, eh, Jeff?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Order. Order.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43So why are you dressed as a judge?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Well, they told me this was an auctioneer's outfit.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51Anyway, as you two obviously aren't working well together I decree that
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Miss Parfitt will be in charge of publicity and Mr Malone
0:14:54 > 0:14:56will be in charge of the hall.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Thank you, Mrs Griggs.
0:14:57 > 0:15:02Um. I feel a very successful auction coming on, Jeff.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Really, you'd need the best PR team in the world to raise enough
0:15:05 > 0:15:06awareness by this afternoon.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Hang on - that's not fair!
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Oh, don't worry. I've organised help for you, too.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Jake.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21We're over here.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Ah, there you are.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Case dismissed.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Cassie, Maxwell, there you are. CRYING
0:15:36 > 0:15:41We were wondering if you'd like to babysit over break.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Well, we are rather busy with the charity auction.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47It's really easy. Really, really easy.
0:15:47 > 0:15:52Just hold her...it... I mean it for a moment.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55It won't be for long, we just want to brush up on our particle physics.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56- And eat something.- And sleep.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Oh, sleep, I remember that.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Well, maybe just during break.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01It can't be that difficult, can it?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Any tips you'd care to...
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Hey.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Like your new school bag.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- Roomy.- Oh, these are just some old
0:16:14 > 0:16:18toys I'm donating to the charity auction because, you know, toys.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Right. Do you want a hand?
0:16:23 > 0:16:26I can't look at them! They're making me feel guilty!
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Wow. You sound really ready to get rid of these.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34I am ready. I told you, I'm a sophisticated young woman.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Yeah, you can't look a sparkly horse in the eye.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I wonder how Cassie and Maxwell are getting on with Ellie.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48- 182C.- I hope they don't swipe the feed button too quickly -
0:16:48 > 0:16:49she doesn't like that.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52No, but she does like it when you tickle the pixels under her chin.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Look at us talking about her on our break!
0:16:56 > 0:16:58We should be enjoying ourselves.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00You're right, we've earned it.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Do you remember that time we changed her virtual nappy and then she
0:17:06 > 0:17:10- immediately, you know, right after, so we had to change it again?- Yeah!
0:17:14 > 0:17:18What are we doing leaving Cassie and Maxwell in charge of our baby?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20You're right. We've abandoned her.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22We're terrible pretend parents.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Ellie, we're coming!
0:17:28 > 0:17:29CRYING
0:17:29 > 0:17:31What are we supposed to do? It won't stop.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Do you think her file system is corrupted?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35She's just hungry.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37How can you tell?
0:17:37 > 0:17:38By her cry.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Give her here.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46- You're a natural.- Nah,
0:17:46 > 0:17:49she just needs a little food and a bit of a cuddle.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Here you go.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Hello, Mrs Rennison.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01I've got some stuff for the auction.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03A bag of rubbish. Lovely.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07You can let go now, Lily.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Um, actually I'm not sure I can.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Ah, my Lily silky bum bum.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Oh, Crumples.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I can't let you go.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Reporting for duty, sir.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36What?! Oh, yeah, look, Jake,
0:18:36 > 0:18:38all we've got to do is put out a few chairs.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Trust me, no-one ever turns up anyway.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Free drinks, free biscuits.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46And free music from our year ten band Laser Patrol.
0:18:46 > 0:18:51All at the charity auction. 3.30 this afternoon.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Look, Laser Patrol! Can we go, sir?
0:18:54 > 0:18:58She can't do that, it's cheating.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01It's still not going to make £50, but just in case.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Mr Malone. How are preparations going?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Very, very, very well, thank you, Miss Parfitt.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Good. I meant to ask you, what vegetables will you be having?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Sorry?- With the nappy you'll be eating after the auction.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Very funny.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17At least I don't need to resort to
0:19:17 > 0:19:20bribery and underhand tactics to get my way.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Sir, you dropped these.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23No, I didn't, they fell off.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Come on, Jake, we've got a hall to prepare.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Why are you doing that? The point is I'm ripping them off!
0:19:30 > 0:19:32It's actually quite liberating to have a proper clear-out.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35You know. Out with the old, in with...
0:19:35 > 0:19:39I can't do it, I can't let them go!
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Jas, have you seen Cassie and Maxwell?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45- They've got Ellie!- Who's Ellie?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Ellie 182C.- Our baby.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50App. Our baby app.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Oh! Here she is, sound asleep.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55How did you get her to do that?
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Luck, obviously. Let me take her.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02CRYING
0:20:02 > 0:20:03Let me.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05GIGGLING
0:20:05 > 0:20:07She's a natural!
0:20:07 > 0:20:11- That's what I was going to do. - There. All better.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Ma-ma-ma...
0:20:12 > 0:20:17She spoke! That's her first word! Did you hear that? She said Mamma!
0:20:17 > 0:20:20No, she said Martha, definitely Martha.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Ma-mam.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23See!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Ah, Mrs Rennison, I think I made a mistake.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29That bag I gave you earlier...
0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Lily.- Mum, what are you doing?
0:20:31 > 0:20:34I wasn't coming to get the toys back or anything.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Good, because neither was I.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39I've come for the...auction.
0:20:39 > 0:20:43Of course. And I was just looking for a pen, which was
0:20:43 > 0:20:45in my pocket the whole time.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Excuse me.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Riveting though this conversation is,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53would you mind having it somewhere else?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57How could you be a better mum than me?
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I'm just naturally good with babies, I guess.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- Guys.- You have no idea what it's like to be a parent.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06The sleepless nights, the strict scheduling.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Maybe she just prefers snuggling to spreadsheets.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11- Guys.- And the guilt! Oh, the guilt!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- BEEPING - Guys, listen!
0:21:13 > 0:21:16I think there's something wrong.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18Oh, no!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Her temperature is 38.4.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Then we need to cool her down.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25You hold her while I administer the medicine.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29It's OK, Ellie, we're both here.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30And me.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Thanks to Laser Patrol
0:21:51 > 0:21:56for their passionate performance of FYI I Heart You.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59And now back to the auction.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Lot number seven.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05A pair of rugby socks.
0:22:05 > 0:22:11Nearly new, size 11, kindly donated by Jayden Burnett.
0:22:11 > 0:22:1350p. Anyone?
0:22:14 > 0:22:1620p.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Ten.
0:22:18 > 0:22:23Sold, for 10p, to... Oh, Jayden Burnett.
0:22:23 > 0:22:2510p, eh?
0:22:25 > 0:22:29So that's a grand total of £13.40.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Plenty of time yet.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Lot number eight.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Dream catcher...
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Temperature's normal, that was close.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Jas, can I have a quick word?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Martha, have you got a second?
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Thing is, Lily won't admit it, but she can't let go of her toys.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Mum won't admit that she can't let go of my childhood,
0:22:49 > 0:22:51but obviously I can't buy the toys back.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53So I thought if I give you the money...
0:22:53 > 0:22:56..then you could bid on my behalf, not for me, you understand.
0:22:56 > 0:22:57It's for her, you see.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59It can be our little...
0:22:59 > 0:23:00..secret.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Consider it done.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Leave it with me.
0:23:03 > 0:23:10Sold for a staggering £2.50, set of four Tupperware boxes without lids.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14- Here you go, Jake. - Oh! But I wasn't bidding,
0:23:14 > 0:23:16I was just waving to Laser Patrol.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20£18.20.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23So there'll be no nappy meal today
0:23:23 > 0:23:26unless of course you fancy one, Miss Parfitt.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29- How's Ellie?- She's fine now.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31We're a good team when we work together, Jas.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Yeah, let's never be competitive again.
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Agreed.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39And the last lot of the afternoon, lot number 11,
0:23:39 > 0:23:45a selection of babyish toys including one Crumples the bunny.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- Do I hear...- £1.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49What? £2.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52What? Right, £2.50.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Hold on, you're going too fast.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55£3.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56What do you want these for?
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- 3.50.- It's my business.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01£5.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Looks like we've got a bidding war going on.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05There's a long way to go.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07My goodness, £5.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09This is so exciting!
0:24:09 > 0:24:11- £6.- Seven.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13What are you doing? I only gave you £5.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Eight. I know, but I can't let her beat me!
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Us. I mean you. I'll make up the difference.
0:24:19 > 0:24:2215.
0:24:22 > 0:24:27- 20.- I believe that makes the running total £38.20 unless you want to
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- check the figures, Jeff. - Come on, Jas.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Mum!
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- 25.- 30.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35This is about the baby, isn't it?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37What? Of course it isn't.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39You're just too competitive.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42£30. Any advance on 30?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44No, no - no advance!
0:24:44 > 0:24:45- Going once.- I'm competitive?
0:24:45 > 0:24:48I'm not the one spending £30 just to prove a point.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50BOTH: Stop, it's my fault.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- What?!- Going twice.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Yes, go on, go on.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57£35!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Gone!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02- No!- Yes.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05L-O-S-E-R! Loser, loser,
0:25:05 > 0:25:07loser, loser, yes, you are.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Sorry about trying to outbid you aggressively.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15On someone else's behalf.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19No worries. Who knew Maxwell was such a big Sparkles the pony fan?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Wow, it seems that L8182C...
0:25:21 > 0:25:27- Ellie.- ..that Ellie, sorry, has been very well looked after.
0:25:27 > 0:25:32- Well done, you two.- Well, we had a little help from Auntie Jas.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Ma-ma.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35That's just a glitch.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Perhaps you've learned that being a parent isn't as easy as you thought.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- Absolutely. - Thank goodness it's all over.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Yeah, back to normal.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Ma-mam.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Ma-mam.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Ma-mam.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55What?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58OK, Lily, we're done, you can come in now.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Oh! Mum!
0:26:02 > 0:26:06- I love it.- Well, Rob helped with all the flatpack furniture.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10And there's even some spare screws left over, so...bonus!
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Thank you so much.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13This is just how I wanted it.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16I should have listened to you in the first place.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20It's just, well, you'll always be my baby.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Maybe I was trying to grow up too quickly.
0:26:22 > 0:26:27And if I'm honest, I do kind of miss Crumples the bunny.
0:26:27 > 0:26:32- Have a look in the bottom of the torvik.- The what?- The drawers.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Crumples! My toys!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42But didn't Maxwell buy them?
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Yes, except he was bidding for me so I could give them back to you.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49I knew you didn't really want to get rid of them.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51That's so romantic!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53You know I'd do anything for you, Lily,
0:26:53 > 0:26:57except look like a dork by bidding on Sparkles myself, obviously.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00What did you do with all that upcycled stuff?
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Oh, don't worry - it went to a good home.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Ah, Vicki.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25- How are you?- I am A-OK, Jeff.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Good, good. You know that nonsense
0:27:27 > 0:27:31with the auction, we can just put that behind us, can't we?
0:27:31 > 0:27:33- Absolutely.- Good, good.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35I'll, er...
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- Jeff.- Yes?
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Baked beans a la nappy. Would you like a knife and fork with that?