0:00:02 > 0:00:03APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:03 > 0:00:05And now welcome to the floor, Martha Fitzgerald
0:00:05 > 0:00:07and her partner dancing the tango.
0:00:07 > 0:00:08MUSIC STARTS
0:00:10 > 0:00:11This isn't my music.
0:00:11 > 0:00:12MUSIC STOPS
0:00:18 > 0:00:21Oh, no! I'm wearing my slippers.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Stop it, this is your fault!
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Martha, you cannot dance the tango.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- Sorry, Mum.- Mum?
0:00:29 > 0:00:30I mean Miss.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31SHE LAUGHS
0:00:32 > 0:00:33You called me Mum!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38By the way, here's your essay back.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Oh, thank goodness.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58# Ah-ha-ha
0:00:58 > 0:01:00# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:01:00 > 0:01:02# Ooh!
0:01:02 > 0:01:03# So
0:01:03 > 0:01:05# So
0:01:07 > 0:01:09# Ooh-hoo-ooh-hoo-ooh-hoo
0:01:10 > 0:01:13# Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
0:01:14 > 0:01:17# So, so, so
0:01:18 > 0:01:20# So
0:01:20 > 0:01:23# So awkward! #
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Gates to school entrance, 24 seconds.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I can't believe Footsteps To Success is nearly complete.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Just as Captain James Cook mapped the Pacific,
0:01:33 > 0:01:35so we map Cranmede Secondary,
0:01:35 > 0:01:39recording the shortest journey times for every possible route in school.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Let's go to the library and divide up today's routes.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- Where are you going?- To the library.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50But route 39 is the quickest way, we timed it last week.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- But I want to go this way.- Why?
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I don't know! I just feel like it and sometimes, Olly,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58people get feelings.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01But I thought we used to disapprove of those people.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Mrs Griggs, do I need to remind you of the no dawdling in the corridor
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- rule?- Ssh! Look.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13I've heard about them but I've never seen them in the wild before.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Aren't they beautiful?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19- Oh!- Sorry.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20Oh, don't worry.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Well, I'd better get to class.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Actually I've been meaning to ask whether you'd like to join me for
0:02:26 > 0:02:28una tazza di cafe.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31That is cup of coffee in Italian.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Good of you, I'm all right, thanks.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Are you sure? I have all the flavours.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Caramelito, vanillalito.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Peppermint litatitalito.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42I really should get going.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Your shoes!- Sorry?
0:02:45 > 0:02:49I couldn't help noticing your shoes and I wanted to ask...
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Whether you think they are appropriate footwear for the school?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Just ignore Mrs Rennison.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58We both think your shoes are just wicked.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Phew.- I thought I was going to be arrested by the shoe police.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03SHE LAUGHS
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Can I just remind you, Mrs Griggs,
0:03:07 > 0:03:10that when Mrs Wardle went to Canada on her holidays,
0:03:10 > 0:03:13then came to school dressed as a lumberjack,
0:03:13 > 0:03:16you had her in for a disciplinary meeting.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20That's right, I did.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22I'm afraid I must insist that
0:03:22 > 0:03:26we have a meeting in my office tomorrow, Miss Parfitt.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Am I allowed to wear the shoes until then?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Should they be quarantined?
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Perhaps you'd like me to burn them.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41I'm having a coffee with Miss Parfitt.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Martha, I've been crunching the numbers.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49The route that we took to the library this morning
0:03:49 > 0:03:51was seven seconds longer than the quickest route.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Working on an average of four trips to the library each week,
0:03:54 > 0:03:59that is an extra 28 seconds per week, or 112 seconds per month.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Allowing for school holidays
0:04:01 > 0:04:03and taken over our entire school career,
0:04:03 > 0:04:09this amounts to 7,532 seconds, or 125.5 minutes.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Fascinating, Olly. What is your point?
0:04:12 > 0:04:15My point is that your behaviour this morning was totally irrational.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Take that back!
0:04:17 > 0:04:19The figures are there in black and white and, unlike you,
0:04:19 > 0:04:21maths would never behave erratically.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Maths wouldn't do that either.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Look, I didn't mean to call you irrational.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36I'm sure it's just a freak incident, like that time I scored a rounder.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Homework on my desk, please.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Olly, it's not there.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46What do you mean it's not there?
0:04:46 > 0:04:47I must have forgotten it.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Forgotten it, you?
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Well, I was checking the contents of my bag against my morning checklist
0:04:55 > 0:04:56but then a bird landed on the windowsill
0:04:56 > 0:04:58and it just looked so cold and
0:04:58 > 0:05:02fragile, I must have got distracted and forgot to put my homework in my
0:05:02 > 0:05:07- bag.- You let a chilly bird distract you from homework?
0:05:08 > 0:05:15Miss Parfitt? I'm very sorry but I've...
0:05:15 > 0:05:17..forgotten my homework.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Oh, well, bring it tomorrow, please.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23But what will I forget next?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25That the average lifespan of an otter is ten years?
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Or that Venus is the only planet that spins clockwise?
0:05:28 > 0:05:32I mean, where will it end?
0:05:32 > 0:05:36I can deduct a house point if it would make you feel better.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- What's wrong with Martha? - I'm not sure,
0:05:41 > 0:05:45but if she was a computer I would be thinking total motherboard failure.
0:05:50 > 0:05:55Martha, I know I'm a thousand years old but I do remember what it feels
0:05:55 > 0:05:58like to be your age when your hormones are raging.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Sorry, what?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Hormones, that is what is happening to you now.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04It's nothing to worry about.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06It's just you might find yourself forgetting
0:06:06 > 0:06:08things, being irrational and emotional,
0:06:08 > 0:06:10just, you know, not acting logically.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15And that's the moment I burst into tears.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Weird, I've been feeling the same.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20The other day I cried at an advert for lawnmowers.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22That's hormones!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Wow!
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I have been feeling a lot more mature recently.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29So it would make sense.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Being mature must make you feel...
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- Irrational.- Sort of churned up.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Jas, how do you feel?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Sort of fine.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46You don't need to lie, we are all women here.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48How do you really feel?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I feel...
0:06:51 > 0:06:56Rubbish. I feel like a bin that's just been emptied.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01A bin that's just been emptied.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Yeah, exactly.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Deep.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08When Miss Parfitt was a teenager she lost her appetite
0:07:08 > 0:07:11and didn't come out of her room for two whole weeks
0:07:11 > 0:07:14and would only wear black. It's brutal.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16It's womanhood.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19It's hormones.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Ta-da.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Isn't carrot cake clever?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32It's both carrot and cake at the same time.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Now, one slice or two?
0:07:39 > 0:07:40I don't want any.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46I'm going to my room and I'm going to change into black, all black!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55We knew this day would come, didn't we, cakey?
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Hormones.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Mother, I have something to tell you.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Not an A-minus?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11We'll demand a recount, we'll sue! We'll...
0:08:11 > 0:08:13No, it's not an A-minus.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Phew.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16It's worse.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23I, Martha Fitzgerald, am suffering from hormones.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25SHE LAUGHS
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Don't be so silly, darling.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33We are Fitzgeralds.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37And Fitzgerald women are slaves to no-one, least of all hormones.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Fetch the sauce, would you, darling?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41They sent a different brand this time.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45This one has anchovies in it.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Yes, but you can't really taste them.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50You know how much I hate anchovies!
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Oh, no. It can't be.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Hormones!
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Don't look at me, Brian. I'm as bored as you are.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09PHONE RINGS
0:09:09 > 0:09:10Hi, Lily, how are you?
0:09:10 > 0:09:14- Awful.- Oh, me too.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Dad tried to make me eat carrot cake.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Dads, eh? Doesn't he know I'm hormonal?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22I sent Rob a text and he hasn't replied.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26I mean, who cares that it had orange cream cheese icing?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Doesn't he realise I'm suffering from hormones?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I mean, carrot cake wouldn't even be in my top five.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34It is chocolate fudge, lemon drizzle, then...
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Jas, are you even listening?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I sent Rob a text and he hasn't replied.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Oh, how long ago did you send it?
0:09:41 > 0:09:45I don't know about four hours, seven minutes and 28 seconds.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Everything is awful.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Oh, yeah, totally awful.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Welcome to this specially convened crisis meeting.
0:10:01 > 0:10:06As you'll see, we have only one item on the agenda, Martha's hormones.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Mother, what are you doing?
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Now, Stephen, you've been working on a worst-case scenario projection.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18"For every incident of hormonal activity we predict a 2% drop in the
0:10:18 > 0:10:22"likelihood that Martha will be CEO of a multinational company."
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Chilling.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Do you think Captain James Cook's mother behaved like this?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Who is Captain James Cook?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31He is not...a boyfriend, is he?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33That's the hormones, Martha, don't listen to them!
0:10:33 > 0:10:36I don't have time for this, I've got ground-breaking work to do.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Martha, don't forget your papers.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41What's he Captain of, darling?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Not football? Anything but football!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Mrs Rennison, I shall need some biscuits for my coffee date
0:10:51 > 0:10:52with Miss Parfitt.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Don't you mean your disciplinary meeting?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Honestly, you really should lighten up.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58I mean who are you? The shoe police?
0:10:58 > 0:10:59SHE LAUGHS
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Did you know that Miss Parfitt is setting up a street dance class?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07I didn't. How very modern of her.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Which is why I can't possibly give here these.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Miss Parfitt is not a digestive sort of person,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15she is more of a brandy snap.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17She might even be a Viennese whirl.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22Mrs Griggs, are you trying to make her your "best fwend"?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Of course not. Now, what do you
0:11:24 > 0:11:27think of chocolate-encrusted Florentines?
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Yes.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Hi, guys.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38- Hey, budge up.- No room, sorry.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Oh, OK.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41I guess I'll sit over there, then.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Fine. I mean, if that's what you want.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50OK.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Honestly, can you believe him?
0:11:52 > 0:11:57He's trying to act as if everything is totally normal when it has been
0:11:57 > 0:11:5921 hours, four minutes and 17 seconds
0:11:59 > 0:12:02and he still has not replied to my
0:12:02 > 0:12:04text. It wasn't just any old text.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06I asked him a really important question.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09- And what was that?- What is his favourite pizza topping?
0:12:09 > 0:12:10HE LAUGHS
0:12:13 > 0:12:15But he was just right here, you could have asked him, then.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16That is so not the point,
0:12:16 > 0:12:20and as a mature woman I thought you'd get that.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Oh, yeah. I mean, totally.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Oh, these? Just something I picked up from a French bakery.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32KNOCK ON DOOR
0:12:32 > 0:12:35I don't care what happens to me, just go easy on the shoes.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37"Go easy on the shoes."
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Oh, Vicky, I'm sure we can overlook the shoes issue.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Oh, good.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43As long as you let me try them on.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I can understand this happening to Lily and Jas,
0:12:47 > 0:12:49but I expected better from Martha.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51What's up with Martha?
0:12:51 > 0:12:52What's up with Martha?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Well, I'll tell you what's up with Martha.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Things that make Martha sad.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Rainbows, paint, the Queen, the colour orange.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Things that make her angry.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Bacon, France, puppies and hats, clouds.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08Until she can be trusted to act rationally you will be my assistant
0:13:08 > 0:13:12on Footsteps To Success.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14No, no, no, there's no need to thank me,
0:13:14 > 0:13:18just report to mine tonight for a data session.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Oh, that's just what I need,
0:13:19 > 0:13:23a sheet of graph paper and the soothing balm of statistics.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27I need you to sign off on this...
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Street dance class, girls.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54SHE WHEEZES
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Are you OK?
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Absolutely fine, it's just trapped wind.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I'm glad I bumped into you, I've got exciting news.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05I'm joining your street dance class!
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Wow! That's...
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Do you remember what we talked about in our meeting?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Oh, yes!
0:14:13 > 0:14:15How do you get your hair so shiny?
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Oh, erm...
0:14:16 > 0:14:20About how exercise could be a way to help young people deal with their
0:14:20 > 0:14:24- hormones?- Yes, brilliant idea!
0:14:24 > 0:14:27I can't wait to get my groove on.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Break out the funk.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32I've actually got more funk than I know what to do with.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I could open a shop just selling funk.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Well, if you're sure you're up to it.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Up to it? I can't wait to get started.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Now, if you'll excuse me, I just need to go and be sick in that bin.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Don't ever pretend to be hormonal, Brian.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53You can't say yes to anything, including cake.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56I mean, even you like cake, and you're basically a twig.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58HER STOMACH RUMBLES
0:15:01 > 0:15:03OK, that's it, time for a kitchen raid.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Captain James Cook,
0:15:05 > 0:15:08when you were mapping lands from New Zealand to Hawaii,
0:15:08 > 0:15:10did you ever just want to hide under your duvet and cry?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I believe we may be suffering from the same affliction.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31- Dandruff?- No, HTS - hormonal teen syndrome.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Thank goodness you're here.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37That's the second day running she's said no to cake.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I normally have to padlock the tin down to stop her wolfing the lot.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Oh, what are we going to do?
0:15:43 > 0:15:48I can't have Martha being controlled by her emotions.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Next thing you know she'll be dropping out of school to become an
0:15:51 > 0:15:53aromatherapist.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS
0:16:01 > 0:16:03OK, great, you're here.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06I want to double-check the toilets to music block figures.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11What's the point? When you look at all the billions of stars,
0:16:11 > 0:16:15you realise we're just insignificant dots floating in a pointless void.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18No! They've got to you, too!
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Hormones!
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Of course, I never succumbed to this teenage hormones nonsense.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Oh, tell a lie, I once got a spot.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33I had the lot. Spots, mood swings, tears.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37The only person I'd speak to for four months was the cat.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I've got a photo of him here somewhere.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40DOORBELL RINGS
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Martha said Mrs Fitzgerald was here?
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Yeah, she's just through...
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Research material on hormones in teenagers.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52I can't do everything round here,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55I've got important work to attend to, you know?
0:16:55 > 0:16:56What do you expect us to do?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59You're going to have to talk to your children about their feelings.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Right, Brian, I am now officially starving.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09I am declaring this a state of emer...
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Wait, why didn't I think of that before?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18My emergency banana!
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Morning, love.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31I wondered if we could have a bit of a chat?
0:17:31 > 0:17:32SHE GULPS
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Is there anything YOU would like to talk about?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Good morning, darling!
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Mother, what are you wearing?
0:17:43 > 0:17:47This is what mothers wear when they're baking home-made croissants
0:17:47 > 0:17:50for their daughter. I want us to have a nice little chat.
0:17:50 > 0:17:56And we need to be completely honest with each other.
0:17:56 > 0:18:02OK, well, honestly, I think the, er, croissants might be ready.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05SHE COUGHS
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Darling, I think we need to talk about...
0:18:13 > 0:18:14..hormones.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Why doesn't everyone just shut up about hormones?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21I do not want to talk about hormones!
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Ow!
0:18:24 > 0:18:27SHE COUGHS
0:18:27 > 0:18:28This is why I always e-mail.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Street dance.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Not sure I've ever seen those two words together before.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48What on earth are you doing?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Just chilling, innit?
0:18:50 > 0:18:51Well, what's it to you?
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Stop talking with that ridiculous voice of...
0:18:54 > 0:18:57What are you wearing?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00When Miss Parfitt sees me strut my stuff in street dance class,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02she'll realise how cool I am
0:19:02 > 0:19:04and we'll be, like, best friends for ever.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07We might even form our own dance crew.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Can you actually do street dance?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Mrs Rennison, I trained in ballet!
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Street dance can't be harder than that!
0:19:15 > 0:19:18People manage it with their trousers halfway down.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21See? Who brings the funk?
0:19:21 > 0:19:22I bring the funk.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25I wish you'd take it away again.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33Morning, Martha. You look very focused.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I am, because I'm going to beat these hormones.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38And Footsteps to Success will be right back on track.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Ah, at last!
0:19:40 > 0:19:42I used a foolproof double-check list to pack my bag this
0:19:42 > 0:19:45morning. A whole block of freezing cold birds could try to distract me,
0:19:45 > 0:19:47it would still be impossible to forget anything.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Very impressive.- Let's do this.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51She wouldn't even speak to me.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56It was like playing charades, but less fun.
0:19:56 > 0:20:03- How did you get on?- Well, I do need a new oven, but I've got an idea.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04We're going to let Ollie sort it out?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07This says that exercise can help teens dealing with hormones.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Take up jousting.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Try your idea first?
0:20:21 > 0:20:26Street dance will not only make you incredibly cool,
0:20:26 > 0:20:30it will also help you deal with the crazy feelings some of you have been
0:20:30 > 0:20:31experiencing.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35So why not sign up, like Lily, Martha and Jas have?
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- What?- Oh, our parents must have signed us up.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Oh. I don't want to force you.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43I can take your names off the list if you like.
0:20:43 > 0:20:49- No!- No?- I mean, now that we are on there, you may as well leave it.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53- That's the spirit!- Erm, I won't be needing the class, Miss Parfitt.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I am more than capable of slaying this dragon myself.
0:20:55 > 0:21:02Do you want to spend break timing routes from the music block?
0:21:02 > 0:21:06No. They polished the music block floors on Tuesday.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Walking speed would have to be reduced by 25% to avoid injury,
0:21:10 > 0:21:12so any results would be inaccurate.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14We'll do the staff room instead.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Exemplary rationale.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Now I'm going to go crush someone at chess.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35How can he just carry on enjoying himself?
0:21:35 > 0:21:38All I'm asking for is a bit of support as a woman.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Is that too much to ask for, Jas?
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Jas?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46The dance class.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49I honestly just think I'm too hormonal to go.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Oh, yeah, me too, obviously.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01Ha! And he falls into my trap like a fly into a spider's web.
0:22:01 > 0:22:05Why did I do that? What's the point of chess anyway?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Now's the time for the killer blow.
0:22:07 > 0:22:12It's just bits of wood moving around another bit of wood,
0:22:12 > 0:22:15just dead wood.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Maybe he'll be really upset if I beat him.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22No, that's just the hormones talking, making you weak.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Resist, Martha, resist.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28I might just go home and write some poetry on the emptiness of human
0:22:28 > 0:22:30existence instead.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32OK, time to finish this.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Or should I just give him a chance?
0:22:35 > 0:22:39No, no! But, in a way, isn't Rufus a bit like that poor,
0:22:39 > 0:22:43cold bird on the windowsill, just looking for a crumb of comfort?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48THEY GASP
0:22:49 > 0:22:50She deliberately let him win!
0:22:50 > 0:22:52It's the hormones!
0:23:03 > 0:23:05We're going to the dance class.
0:23:05 > 0:23:11- No!- Do you want to let down not only us but Captain James Cook?
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Very well. But I am not wearing Lycra.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Oh, good to see you, Lily.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I decided I needed something to take my mind off things.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Honestly, my life is so complicated!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Wow, that is quite an outfit.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Show me some love, sister.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39- Oh.- I can't believe we're choosing to dance.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42OK, everyone, let's get started.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Jas! I thought you weren't coming.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Oh, I just, er...
0:23:51 > 0:23:55You needed some headspace to try and deal with this hormone nightmare?
0:23:55 > 0:23:59Yeah, that, exactly that.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Right, let's have a look at what we're all going to be learning.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Rob here is going to demonstrate how it's all done.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:24:36 > 0:24:38OK, fine! I admit it.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41I'm happy!
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I'm not hormonal at all.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45You guys were like, hormones this and hormones that,
0:24:45 > 0:24:50but I just felt like a baby so I thought I'd just fake it.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- I'm sorry.- Don't worry.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55I'm sure you'll be feeling miserable for real soon.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Oh, thanks, I think.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58OK, everyone.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Into lines, let's dance!
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Five, six, seven, eight!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12You realise I'm going to have to have
0:25:12 > 0:25:13therapy after this, right?
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Just keep dancing. I'll be back to my old self any minute.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Mrs Griggs, try and relax more in the knees.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28No. Mrs Griggs, you're popping on the six instead of the eight.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30But look at my robot.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Isn't it dope?
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I think it might be less disruptive if you move to the back.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Honestly, what do you have to do to impress the woman?
0:25:46 > 0:25:50I'm starting to wonder if she knows what she's doing.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I think she's doing rather well.
0:25:52 > 0:25:57Good control of class, dealing with disruptive elements, impressive.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01This woman is more than just a pair of shoes.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- That's it!- What are you doing?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07You can't dance in those!
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Just watch me.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11If this doesn't impress her, nothing will.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Dancing is the answer. Dancing is the answer.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Make way for the funk, Miss Parfitt.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Oh!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Argh!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34How are you feeling, Martha?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36OK, I guess.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38I just thought this might cure me.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42I know hormones suck sometimes but, eventually,
0:26:42 > 0:26:45your body will come up with the perfect formula for being you.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50Right, and, just to be clear, I never have to do street dance again?
0:26:50 > 0:26:55No! Of course not, no. It's not for everyone.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56I might give it another go.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00What? It's not me. It's the hormones!
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Now that I'm back to being normal, happy Jas,
0:27:05 > 0:27:08maybe I can help you solve your Rob problem?
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Oh, yeah, about that -
0:27:10 > 0:27:14I realised I wrote the text but never actually sent it.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16I blame the hormones.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21I think I should go talk to him.
0:27:21 > 0:27:27- Say sorry?- No, to ask him what his favourite pizza topping is.
0:27:27 > 0:27:28Mmm.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Would you put these in the parents' association jumble?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37I've quite gone off them.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Oh!