Anger Management

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03Vikings were a fearsome bunch.

0:00:03 > 0:00:06Most terrible of all were their berserkers -

0:00:06 > 0:00:11warriors who fought with uncontrollable fury.

0:00:11 > 0:00:12Lily...

0:00:13 > 0:00:16Lily, can you at least wait until I'm talking about something boring

0:00:16 > 0:00:18before you start daydreaming?

0:00:18 > 0:00:19I'm not daydreaming.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21You have a bit of drool on your chin.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24CLASS LAUGHS

0:00:24 > 0:00:26Can you stop laughing at me?

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Oh. Can I get you a teddy?

0:00:28 > 0:00:29And maybe a hot water bottle?

0:00:32 > 0:00:37Stop laughing at me!

0:00:49 > 0:00:50Lily... Lily...

0:00:51 > 0:00:55Lily? Can you at least wait until I'm talking about something boring

0:00:55 > 0:00:57before you start daydreaming?

0:00:57 > 0:00:58Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

0:00:59 > 0:01:00Loving the axe, by the way.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37I am pleased to say that Ice Cream Friday was a huge success,

0:01:37 > 0:01:39despite it taking place on a Tuesday.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43And the fact that there was no ice cream.

0:01:43 > 0:01:44So, moving on to...

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Sorry I'm late.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50You would not believe the traffic in Strasbourg this afternoon.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Well, carry on.

0:01:56 > 0:02:00This is a Parent Teachers Association meeting.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02You sit with the parents.

0:02:05 > 0:02:06Oh...

0:02:06 > 0:02:08I see.

0:02:13 > 0:02:17So, moving on to the annual school fun run.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Mr Salford will be taking charge again this year.

0:02:20 > 0:02:21Keith.

0:02:23 > 0:02:24Oh!

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Don't usually see you at the PTA.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28No, I tend not to get involved with the little people

0:02:28 > 0:02:31but Martha thought I should lend my support.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Oh. Well, lucky us, eh?

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Fun run.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42I know what you're thinking -

0:02:42 > 0:02:45how can we top last year's fun?

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Do you remember Mrs Thompson?

0:02:47 > 0:02:49Getting bitten by that goose!

0:02:49 > 0:02:51HE IMITATES GOOSE

0:02:51 > 0:02:55Sadly, this year we're not allowed back on the farmyard.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58But fear not, the fun will live on!

0:02:58 > 0:03:01How? Two words.

0:03:01 > 0:03:02Glitter cannon.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09I'm surprised you have time for community activities,

0:03:09 > 0:03:11being away from home all the time.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13I'm hardly away ALL the time.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15It's usually up to humdrum stay-at-home mums

0:03:15 > 0:03:18like me to muck in and raise a bit of moolah.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20- Moolah?- It means money.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Yes, I know what it means.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25I can do young people talk too, you know.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29Even better, this year we're tying the kids up.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Together, that is.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35It's a three-legged fun run.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38I'm looking for two volunteers to help me organise everything.

0:03:38 > 0:03:39Who's up for it?

0:03:40 > 0:03:44I will be happy to help raise some moogla, Mr Salford.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Mrs Fitzgerald, wonderful.

0:03:47 > 0:03:48Anyone else?

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Oh. What a shame.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Looks like it's up to us working mothers to...

0:03:54 > 0:03:55I volunteer.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Fantastic. First meeting tomorrow evening.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04Ladies, we are going to have a lot of fun!

0:04:14 > 0:04:16- What are you doing?- Look.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Our legs are totally in sync.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21It's like we're made for three-legged racing.

0:04:21 > 0:04:22Ow!

0:04:22 > 0:04:25Sorry. We can practise.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27We can practise a lot.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Right. Thing is...

0:04:29 > 0:04:31..I was thinking I would partner with Jenny.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Jenny Jones?

0:04:35 > 0:04:38You want to be tied to Jenny Jones?

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Yes, she's pretty athletic.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Athletic? Rob, why would you even say that?

0:04:43 > 0:04:46She's the fastest runner, so we're more likely to win.

0:04:46 > 0:04:47Tactics.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52- Ow!- This is a fun run, Rob.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53A fun run.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Is Jenny Jones fun?

0:04:55 > 0:04:58Is she more fun than me? Is that what you're saying?

0:04:58 > 0:04:59Is that what you're saying?

0:04:59 > 0:05:00Course not. I'm just...

0:05:00 > 0:05:03No, I get it, I'm just your lame,

0:05:03 > 0:05:06boring girlfriend and Jenny is your fun, athletic,

0:05:06 > 0:05:08three-legged girlfriend.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Is that it? Is it?

0:05:10 > 0:05:11Chill, Lil. Whatevs.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13I can run with you if you like.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15- Crisis averted.- Uh, no, it isn't.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17I'm still cross. Don't you get it?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19We're having a row here.

0:05:19 > 0:05:20I'm no good with rows.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Can't we just leave it at whatevs?

0:05:22 > 0:05:24No, we can't. What is wrong with you, Rob?

0:05:24 > 0:05:25You're so laid back.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26It's like you don't even care.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Why don't you care enough to get cross?

0:05:38 > 0:05:41Hmm, Lily is annoyed, if I'm not very much mistaken.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43According to my We See Book Of Emotions,

0:05:43 > 0:05:46I think you'll find she was frustrated.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48I'm going to tick off frustration.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51We can't really say we've spotted an emotion

0:05:51 > 0:05:54unless we can agree what it was.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Hmm, you're right. This merits further investigation.

0:06:05 > 0:06:06And then she ran off crying.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09- Weird.- I know, right?

0:06:09 > 0:06:12I mean, how is it possible to be too laid back?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Well, if it's possible you are definitely it.

0:06:16 > 0:06:20- You think?- Rob, you're so laid-back, you go along with anything,

0:06:20 > 0:06:21very easily.

0:06:21 > 0:06:22No, that's not true.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24- Yes, it is.- Yeah, maybe it is.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26- See?- Oh.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30Maybe you're right. Maybe I do need to get a bit of a temper.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32- How would I do that?- Don't ask me.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36I am a rational being, a creature of reason.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Grand emotions have never really been my...

0:06:38 > 0:06:39Oh, my Galileo.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45Who put my protractor in my pencil case?

0:06:45 > 0:06:48It's supposed to go in the geometry set.

0:06:48 > 0:06:49The geometry set.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Who did this? Huh? Who did this?

0:06:52 > 0:06:55Uh-oh. It looks like Ollie's having a stationery crisis.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Hello, Lily. Everything all right?

0:06:58 > 0:07:01We were wondering if you're feeling...annoyed.

0:07:01 > 0:07:02Or frustrated?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04No. I'm fine.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11So...why do you want Rob to get cross with you?

0:07:11 > 0:07:13I don't. Why would you think that?

0:07:14 > 0:07:18- PHONE: Why don't you care enough to get cross?- End recording.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20- Were you recording me? - We record everything,

0:07:20 > 0:07:24that way there can be no farcical misunderstandings.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26We notice they happen a lot around you.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29OK. Fine.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31I don't want him to get cross with me.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33It's just, nothing gets to him, you know?

0:07:33 > 0:07:36How can you care about anything when there's no passion,

0:07:36 > 0:07:38no fireworks?

0:07:38 > 0:07:44I just want him to lose his temper at something, anything, just once.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Lose his temper?

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Perhaps we could arrange for him to do that?

0:07:53 > 0:07:55And spot him doing it.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Yes. We'll need a stooge.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Why am I doing this again?

0:08:01 > 0:08:02It will make Lily happy.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04I don't care about Lily.

0:08:04 > 0:08:05Lily's best friends with Martha.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08If Lily's happy, Martha will be happy.

0:08:08 > 0:08:09Is that how it works?

0:08:13 > 0:08:15As far as we know.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Martha happy.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24ROMANTIC PIANO MUSIC PLAYS

0:08:24 > 0:08:25Oh!

0:08:28 > 0:08:29Oh!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32SHE GASPS

0:08:39 > 0:08:42- ROMANTIC MUSIC STOPS - Hmm.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49SHE LAUGHS

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Alfie!

0:08:56 > 0:08:57Subject's in sight.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59You know what to do, Alfie.

0:08:59 > 0:09:00Make him angry.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Whoa!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Careful there, little dude. That kind of hurt.

0:09:12 > 0:09:13No reaction.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15This might be harder than we thought.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18This might be harder than I thought.

0:09:18 > 0:09:19Fun run, here we come!

0:09:29 > 0:09:33Mother, you negotiated an amendment to the Duisburg Treaty.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35I'm sure you can handle a PTA subcommittee.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Yes, yes, of course.- See?

0:09:37 > 0:09:40You can do this. Turn that frown upside down.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Oh! These look nice.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54They're cheese and Marmite brownies.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Amazing!

0:09:56 > 0:09:58I brought cake.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01- Got a bit sat on.- Oh, lovely.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05And what did you bring?

0:10:05 > 0:10:06I wasn't aware that I...

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Oh, don't worry -

0:10:07 > 0:10:11it's just a nice thing we homespun mums and dads like to do.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'm sure it's not the sort of thing that busy professionals

0:10:13 > 0:10:15would think of doing.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Martin, get onto the caterers - and tell them to hurry.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28And then he said, "I'll run with you - crisis averted."

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Can you believe that?

0:10:31 > 0:10:33And that's a problem why?

0:10:33 > 0:10:35I don't believe this! You too?!

0:10:35 > 0:10:40Oh, this is so simple. Why does nobody understand?!

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Maybe it's not Rob who's got an issue with anger.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45- Maybe it's you.- Me?

0:10:45 > 0:10:47I don't have an anger problem!

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Do I? SHE SNIFFS

0:10:49 > 0:10:51- Jas?!- Shhh. I sense...

0:10:53 > 0:10:54..cake.

0:11:03 > 0:11:07So I thought I could make us a colourful hand-painted banner

0:11:07 > 0:11:09for the side of the school.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Oh, no, I'll get us one printed up.

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Much more professional.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16But much less fun.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18We'll let the focus group decide what's fun and what isn't.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20- What do you think, Keith?- What?

0:11:21 > 0:11:23Oh, no, don't worry about the banner.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25This year it's viral advertising all the way.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28I'm going to get a really crazy image, put it everywhere,

0:11:28 > 0:11:30get everyone talking, then -

0:11:30 > 0:11:32when the mystery reaches fever pitch -

0:11:32 > 0:11:34we hit them with...fun run!

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Excellent idea.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38And which advertising agency are you using?

0:11:42 > 0:11:45It's like all my dreams became cake!

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Can we have a quick word?

0:11:51 > 0:11:54I just wanted to make sure you were aware this is a fun run?

0:11:54 > 0:11:56I'm quite aware of that, thank you.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58With the emphasis being on fun?

0:11:58 > 0:12:01You know, keeping it light?

0:12:01 > 0:12:02I know what fun is.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06I'm fun, lots of fun.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08Fun, fun, fun. Carefree.

0:12:08 > 0:12:09Mmm!

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Jocular.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14- Ah!- You're the one who's looking serious. Come on - smile.

0:12:16 > 0:12:17What do the young people say?

0:12:17 > 0:12:20Rotate that frown 180 degrees...

0:12:20 > 0:12:22SHE SNIGGERS

0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Rotate that frown! - THEY LAUGH

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Rotate it 180 degrees!

0:12:29 > 0:12:30Good one!

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Rob, I just wanted to...

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Oh!

0:12:41 > 0:12:42- What happened?- I don't know.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44It's really weird.

0:12:44 > 0:12:45I keep having these mad accidents.

0:12:48 > 0:12:49See? Bizarre.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Sorry, Rob! Lunchbox slipped out my hand.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57- Are you OK?- Yeah, just a bit mildly injured.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Wow, you really don't get angry, do you?

0:13:02 > 0:13:03What do you think you're doing?

0:13:03 > 0:13:07We're trying to make Rob lose his temper, as you requested.

0:13:07 > 0:13:08I never asked you to...

0:13:08 > 0:13:11PHONE: I'd just like him to lose his temper about something - anything -

0:13:11 > 0:13:13- just once.- End recording.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Look, I didn't mean for you to do this, OK?

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Just stop hurting Rob.

0:13:17 > 0:13:18Do something else.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20What do you suggest?

0:13:20 > 0:13:22I don't know - anything.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23Use your imaginations.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29We'd better call off Alfie. Fairly quickly.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37Hey, Martha, check it out.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43- What is that?- It's something your mum said yesterday.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46"Rotate that frown 180 degrees."

0:13:46 > 0:13:47It's so crazy - I love it!

0:13:47 > 0:13:49- Let's send this to Lily.- No!

0:13:49 > 0:13:51You can't animate Mother.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54- You have to delete it. - Why? It's inspiring.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57No, it's inspiring horror in me.

0:13:57 > 0:13:58What if Mother sees it?

0:14:02 > 0:14:04What just happened?

0:14:04 > 0:14:06I think you just e-mailed it to everyone in the school.

0:14:12 > 0:14:13Is everything OK, Rob?

0:14:13 > 0:14:15There's squirty cream on my books.

0:14:15 > 0:14:16Oh. Sorry to hear that.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19It's OK - I love squirty cream.

0:14:21 > 0:14:22Do you think I'm too laid-back, Sir?

0:14:22 > 0:14:24Laid-back.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27How can you be too laid-back?

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Am I right? Ah.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31- Lily says it's like I don't care. - HE SCOFFS

0:14:31 > 0:14:35Women! The thing is, Rob, when you're a...

0:14:35 > 0:14:40Ah. When you're a young easy-going dude, like we are,

0:14:40 > 0:14:41people are going to want to change you.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43But you don't have to change.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46You've just got to relax, you know?

0:14:46 > 0:14:49You've got to roll with the punches, take life as it comes, you know,

0:14:49 > 0:14:52don't let anyone fritz with your mojo, yo.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Just stay chill.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57- Whatevs.- Mr Malone...

0:14:57 > 0:14:59HE RINGS BELL

0:14:59 > 0:15:01..I thought you'd like to know that your car was parked

0:15:01 > 0:15:03in the loading bay and the council have come to tow it away.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05- Have they?- Mm-hm.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08Like I care!

0:15:10 > 0:15:12I'm just going to go hang.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Hello, Robert. Good news - we have a solution to your problem.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23It's no good. We can't get it back once it's sent.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27There is one thing we could do.

0:15:27 > 0:15:28Take down the network.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Really? You mean it?

0:15:31 > 0:15:32I know you've always wanted to.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Oh, finally!

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Thanks, Martha. I knew that botnet would come in handy one day.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40COMPUTER CHIMES

0:15:44 > 0:15:46Hi, Mother. What's up?

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Up? What do you mean, up?

0:15:48 > 0:15:52I mean, eh...what is happening?

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Oh, I see. Young people talk.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58Well, there is an up thing, Martha.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00A horrendously up thing.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01This...

0:16:02 > 0:16:04That's... That's...

0:16:04 > 0:16:07That's all over the internet, is what that is!

0:16:07 > 0:16:09And I know exactly who's behind it.

0:16:10 > 0:16:11Mrs Hampton.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15She's been trying to undermine me since day one.

0:16:15 > 0:16:16Well, if she thinks she can...

0:16:16 > 0:16:18No, Mother, it was...

0:16:18 > 0:16:19Network down!

0:16:19 > 0:16:21JAS LAUGHS

0:16:23 > 0:16:25What?

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Are you sure you can actually do this?

0:16:27 > 0:16:28Yes, can he?

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Jake hypnotised a chicken once.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33- That went OK.- How did you know it was hypnotised?

0:16:33 > 0:16:34It thought it was a duck.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Look, I'm not sure I want to be hypnotised.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40There's nothing to worry about.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42It's easy. As long as you're fairly suggestible.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45Ah, see, I'm not suggestible,

0:16:45 > 0:16:48so I'm just going to go.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50You should stay.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Or I'll stay. Whatevs.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55I think this is going to be easier than the chicken.

0:16:55 > 0:17:00Now, I just want you to close your eyes, relax,

0:17:00 > 0:17:04let go of all your thoughts, and count backwards from ten.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Right. Erm...

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Ten, erm...

0:17:11 > 0:17:12Nine.

0:17:12 > 0:17:13Yes, I know.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Wait, where did I get to?

0:17:17 > 0:17:19OK, forget the counting.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23Now, when I click my fingers you will be completely under my power.

0:17:25 > 0:17:26- HE SCOFFS - Yeah, right.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31Now, Rob, I'm going to take you back to the last time you were angry.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33When was that?

0:17:33 > 0:17:35I was three years old.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37My best friend was a jar of frogspawn,

0:17:37 > 0:17:40which I kept in the bathroom by the sink.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42But that day the jar wasn't there.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45It was on the floor, open...

0:17:45 > 0:17:47- ..and empty! - TOILET FLUSHES

0:17:47 > 0:17:50My frogspawn!

0:17:50 > 0:17:53They flushed my frogspawn!

0:17:53 > 0:17:57Now, whenever Lily gets angry I want you to go back to that moment,

0:17:57 > 0:18:00and it will be Lily who flushed your frogspawn, OK?

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Lily flushed my frogspawn.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03Good.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Now, when I click my fingers, you'll wake up,

0:18:06 > 0:18:08and you won't remember a thing about this.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13- What happened?- You're cured!

0:18:13 > 0:18:15I don't feel any different.

0:18:15 > 0:18:16Don't worry, you will.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20You'll make Lily very happy, which will make Martha happy.

0:18:20 > 0:18:21Happy...

0:18:23 > 0:18:24Don't ask.

0:18:27 > 0:18:28Mother?

0:18:31 > 0:18:33Are you sure this is a good idea?

0:18:33 > 0:18:34No, of course it isn't!

0:18:34 > 0:18:36But we can't let her blame that GIF on Lily's mother.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38We have to tell her it was us.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42Hello, darling. I'm sorry we got cut off earlier.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Yes, the network went down.

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Oh, it was awesome!

0:18:47 > 0:18:49-Ly bad!

0:18:49 > 0:18:50Mother, I've been thinking.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Erm, about the meme, with your face on, it was...

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Oh, that? Don't worry about that.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57- I couldn't care less.- Seriously?

0:18:57 > 0:19:02Do you really think I'm the sort of person who'd get worked up about a thing like that?

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Erm, no, I guess not.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Well, you guessed correctly. Now, off you go - I'm busy.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Busy working on my revenge!

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Eat my cheesy brownies.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20SHE LAUGHS

0:19:23 > 0:19:25SHE GROWLS

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Hey, Lily. Sorry I'm late. You still OK to practise?

0:19:31 > 0:19:35Of course. And, Rob, I'm sorry I shouted at you yesterday.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37That's cool. Don't worry about it.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40Erm, I think maybe I've got a bit of a temper.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42No, it's me who's got the problem.

0:19:42 > 0:19:43I'm too relaxed.

0:19:43 > 0:19:44- You're right.- I don't know.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46I really think it's me.

0:19:46 > 0:19:47- It's me.- No!

0:19:47 > 0:19:49- It's me!- Three years old...

0:19:49 > 0:19:52That day... It was on the floor, and empty!

0:19:52 > 0:19:54I flushed your frogspawn down the toilet.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57Aaargh!

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Why would you do that?

0:19:59 > 0:20:01You're horrible! You're mean!

0:20:01 > 0:20:02You're so mean!

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Rob, what are you...?

0:20:05 > 0:20:07You stink! I hate you!

0:20:07 > 0:20:09I hate you!

0:20:11 > 0:20:15My frogspawn!

0:20:15 > 0:20:16Aargh!

0:20:16 > 0:20:19BANGING ON DOOR

0:20:21 > 0:20:23Fern, what can I do for you?

0:20:23 > 0:20:24I'll tell you what you can do.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26You can tell me what you have to say about this.

0:20:29 > 0:20:33Well, I suppose I'd say, what do you have to say about this?

0:20:34 > 0:20:36I'll tell you what I have to say about that.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39I'll tell you what I have to say about both of them.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40Keith Salford.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43Yes, well, you might say that, but...

0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Sorry, what?- Keith Salford.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Ah, he's obviously behind this.

0:20:47 > 0:20:52Think about it. His top-secret viral marketing campaign,

0:20:52 > 0:20:55a crazy image to get everybody talking.

0:20:55 > 0:20:56You mean the...?

0:20:56 > 0:20:58To publicise the fun run!

0:20:58 > 0:21:00So you think Keith made this?

0:21:00 > 0:21:05Obviously. Fun run volunteers always end up looking stupid.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Well, this year, I say, let's fight back.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Let's make HIM look ridiculous.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12What did you have in mind?

0:21:15 > 0:21:17And then he called me frogspawn.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19That's so cruel!

0:21:19 > 0:21:21You hardly look anything like frogspawn.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24It's just a passing resembl...

0:21:24 > 0:21:26He's bang out of order! You should break up with him.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28I can't do that.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30I told him he had to be more angry.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31Oh, don't blame yourself.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34He's the one who's comparing you to amphibian eggs.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36No-one else is - especially not me.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38Yeah, I suppose you're right.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41I guess I'm just going to have to stay away from him forever.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44DOORBELL RINGS Ooh! That might be him now!

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Lily? What's wrong?

0:21:52 > 0:21:54What do you mean, "What's wrong?"

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Do you not remember what happened on the field?

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Not really. It's all a bit of a blank.

0:22:00 > 0:22:02Did you get angry again?

0:22:02 > 0:22:03- Did- I- get angry?

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Are you joking?

0:22:05 > 0:22:07This is unbelievable!

0:22:07 > 0:22:10After everything you did, you still have the nerve to blame me?!

0:22:10 > 0:22:12What is wrong with you, Rob?

0:22:12 > 0:22:13Frogspawn...

0:22:13 > 0:22:15It was on the floor... Three years old...

0:22:15 > 0:22:18Frogspawn, my frogspawn!

0:22:18 > 0:22:20You're so horrible - I hate you!

0:22:22 > 0:22:23That's it! It's over.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27Go and run with Jenny Three Legs if you want.

0:22:27 > 0:22:28See if I care.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Hey, Lily. Happy?

0:22:49 > 0:22:53Erm, at the moment, no, not particularly.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Oh. Martha happy?

0:22:55 > 0:22:56Yeah, I think so.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00And approximately how much of that happiness would you put down to me?

0:23:01 > 0:23:03Lily, are you sure you don't want to run with me?

0:23:03 > 0:23:06I'm sorry, I just can't - not after what you said.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09Said what? I don't understand.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11It's not like you've got anyone else to run with.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Well, actually, maybe I have.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16Maybe I've got someone just as good as Jenny Jones.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18- Have you thought of that?- Who?

0:23:18 > 0:23:19Erm...

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Alfie! He's really athletic.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27- Am I?- Shhh. So go on, go and tie yourself to Jenny Jones.

0:23:27 > 0:23:28See if I care.

0:23:34 > 0:23:38I do care. I totally care. We have to beat him.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40This way, please!

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Follow Mrs Hampton.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44It's good to see you've put your differences behind you.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Yes, well, on this occasion I may have been a little hasty.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50It seems it was your father who made those graphics of us, Jas.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55- BOTH: What?- It was all for his viral marketing campaign, apparently.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58Erm, this is the viral marketing.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Question mark run.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02You must've seen it - they're everywhere.

0:24:09 > 0:24:13But, then, who sent out that awful image of me?

0:24:13 > 0:24:18Erm... That was, erm, kind of, erm, us.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21All right.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24Well, in that case I...I have to go and talk to Mrs Hampton

0:24:24 > 0:24:25rather urgently.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Come on, they're already ahead of us.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Why do you want to beat them so much?

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Because he shouted at me, and called me frogspawn.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35- Why is that a problem? - Not you as well.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38I don't look anything like frogspawn!

0:24:38 > 0:24:41No, but they told me you wanted him to shout at you.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42Cassie and Maxwell?

0:24:45 > 0:24:46What did you do?

0:24:49 > 0:24:54Fern, did you do it? Did you booby trap the glitter cannon?

0:24:54 > 0:24:55I certainly did!

0:24:55 > 0:24:57When he pulls that rope, he's going to be absolutely...

0:24:57 > 0:24:59No, no, no! We have to stop it!

0:24:59 > 0:25:02He didn't do it. Keith didn't...

0:25:02 > 0:25:04I didn't do what?

0:25:04 > 0:25:05Keith!

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Shouldn't you be at the finish line?

0:25:08 > 0:25:10I thought you were on the glitter cannon?

0:25:10 > 0:25:12No, Mrs Griggs wanted to set it off.

0:25:12 > 0:25:16That woman is a fiend for explosively propelled confetti.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19No, I just thought I'd come down here and start the race!

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Keith, erm, there might be a slight problem with the...

0:25:21 > 0:25:23HORN BLASTS

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Sorry, you were saying?

0:25:24 > 0:25:26We've got to stop her setting off that cannon.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Ah, ah, ah, ah, ladies?

0:25:28 > 0:25:29- Legs!- Oh.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Look - she just smiled at him!

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Oh, move faster before they kiss!

0:25:36 > 0:25:38I can't. They're too fast.

0:25:38 > 0:25:41It's Jenny Jones. She's SO athletic.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43Why does everyone keep saying that?

0:25:49 > 0:25:52SHE SCREAMS

0:25:52 > 0:25:54Yes, use your anger -

0:25:54 > 0:25:56it's the only thing that'll get through to him now.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59Rob!

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Rob, what is it?

0:26:01 > 0:26:05Whenever Lily gets angry, I want you to go back to that moment,

0:26:05 > 0:26:07and it will be Lily who flushed your frogspawn.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09- PHONE:- End recording.

0:26:11 > 0:26:16Frogspawn!

0:26:20 > 0:26:23THEY BOTH SCREAM

0:26:34 > 0:26:37POIGNANT PIANO

0:26:46 > 0:26:49I counted at least five emotions just then.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51I made it six.

0:26:51 > 0:26:52Very pleasing.

0:26:52 > 0:26:53Oh, pleasure.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58I'm so sorry about my temper, Rob.

0:26:58 > 0:26:59You need to be chilled.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02You balance me out. Please don't change.

0:27:02 > 0:27:06I don't think I can. You know, Jake tried to hypnotise me,

0:27:06 > 0:27:07but it didn't do anything.

0:27:07 > 0:27:08Mrs Griggs!

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Don't fire the cannon!

0:27:10 > 0:27:12What are they saying?

0:27:12 > 0:27:15Ah, I think she's saying, "Fire the cannon!"

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Well, I'm not doing that until we have a winner.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20Mrs Griggs, the cannon's full of custard!

0:27:20 > 0:27:23Whatever you do, don't...

0:27:23 > 0:27:25Aargh!

0:27:32 > 0:27:33Best fun run ever!

0:27:33 > 0:27:37CAMERA CLICKS This is going totally viral!

0:27:37 > 0:27:39HE LAUGHS