0:00:21 > 0:00:24- Right, I'll put the kettle on.- Oh!
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Did you put that mousetrap down like I asked?
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Yeah, I put one in the dining room last night.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36And you're sure it's a mousetrap you put down?
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Of course! What other sorts of traps are there?
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Wow, a wizard. Oh, no, I must have bought the wrong box by mistake!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52WIZARD GROANS Take it back and get the right one.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- It's not difficult!- Well, what am I going to do with him?
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Put him out the back door. He'll find his own way home.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03So, can you do real magic?
0:01:03 > 0:01:08This is extremely inconvenient! Porkus promaskis!
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Ohh!
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Oh, terrific!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15HE SNORTS
0:01:15 > 0:01:19If you can magic this, why couldn't you magic yourself out of the trap?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Fair point.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Footus begelae!
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Excellent! Well, good day. I'll see myself out.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Wait! Wait! What about this?
0:01:32 > 0:01:36I've got to go to work in a minute! Ohh!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39MOUSE LAUGHS
0:01:40 > 0:01:43What? Oh, no!
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- Oh, no!- You all right, love?
0:01:46 > 0:01:50My car. My car was here and it's been stolen. My dog was inside it.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54- OK, keep calm. Don't worry. - Oh, no! My dog!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Officer.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- What seems to be the problem? - Well, my car was there
0:02:01 > 0:02:03and it's been stolen and my dog was inside it.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- Not a very good guard dog then, eh? - Please can you help me find him?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- Let me take a description. - OK, he's quite big.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13He's white with black spots. He's a Dalmatian cross and...
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Oh!
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Oh, that's him. Erm... I'm really sorry for wasting police time.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28You are a bad dog! A very bad dog, going off like that.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32- I just thought it would be nice to pick you up.- Sorry?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Woof. Er, definitely woof.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I'm just... Oh, look at this.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52They're all broken! All of our axes and swords, they've just worn out.
0:02:52 > 0:02:57- Chief!- Yes?- I've actually been working on a new kind of weapon.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00It's based on an idea from a long time ago,
0:03:00 > 0:03:04- somewhere far, far away. - Oh. Oh, right.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08I haven't tried them out yet, but have a go and see what you think.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12- CHIEF LAUGHS - I'm sorry, Eric, is this a joke?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- This wouldn't even scare Sven. - HE SCREAMS
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- Well, all right. You take my point. - No, you have to switch them on.
0:03:19 > 0:03:24You hold them out in front of you like this and then push the button.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27THEY SCREAM
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Turn them off! Oh!
0:03:33 > 0:03:38- Oh! I mean, they're very impressive, Eric, but they're terrifying!- Yes.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41But if everyone can learn to use them without screaming,
0:03:41 > 0:03:45we could take over the world with such terrifying weaponry!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Do you think you could try it again without screaming?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Yes. - Of course, consider it done. Yes.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54OK, then. Hold them out and press the button.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58THEY SCREAM
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Stop it, stop it! Oh!
0:04:00 > 0:04:05I'm sorry, Eric. They're making everyone too panicky.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09And a panicky Viking is like a dog with its bum on fire. It is awful.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12We could always use them to scare Sven.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14HE SCREAMS
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- CHIEF LAUGHS - That is fun.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- Wow, Pete, that was delish. - That was superb. Thank, Pete.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24No problemo! Hope you've got enough room for pudding!
0:04:24 > 0:04:26It's an old traditional family recipe.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30- There's always room for pudding, Pete.- Absolutely.- I'll go get it.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35So, Clive, how do you know Pete?
0:04:35 > 0:04:39- We're flatmates. I'm renting a room off him.- Oh, right. What do you do?
0:04:39 > 0:04:43- I'm a clown.- Oh.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49There we are. Individually baked custard pies.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- Pete, those look fab.- Yeah?- They must have taken you an age to make.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Oh, I forgot the sauce.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:01 > 0:05:05CROWD OOH AND AHH
0:05:08 > 0:05:11ELEPHANT TRUMPETS, MONKEY SCREECHES
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Here's the special...
0:05:13 > 0:05:17Clive! How could you?
0:05:17 > 0:05:20I'm sorry, I'm...so, so sorry.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22HORN BEEPS
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- What's that? - No, it's... It's not helping!
0:05:34 > 0:05:38CHANNELS CHANGE RAPIDLY
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Mum! Have you seen the remote control?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45It's probably fallen down the back of the sofa!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Wahhh!
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Hello?
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- Hello?- Oh!- Agh!- It's mine!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04It's... It's all mine!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07What are you doing here?
0:06:07 > 0:06:11Erm, I'm just looking for my remote control. Can I have it back, please?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14It's my phone but it doesn't work!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19I can't order a pizza.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Hello. I'd like to speak to Brian, please.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Erm, I'm afraid Brian's not available.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Oh, he's always out, isn't he? What's he doing?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31He's had to go to singing lessons.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Oh, don't tell me he goes singing!
0:06:33 > 0:06:37I heard him in the shower! He was awful!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39See, it's broken! I can't order pizza!
0:06:39 > 0:06:43What are you talking about? Just give me back the remote. Please?
0:06:43 > 0:06:47It's mine! Maybe we should play a game.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Tony asks you a question
0:06:50 > 0:06:53and if nasty boy gets question right,
0:06:53 > 0:06:57he gets stupid broken phone. Yeah?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Whatever, just get on with it. My programme's starting.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I'll just think of a question. Erm...
0:07:03 > 0:07:08What about the one with the dog and the nappies?
0:07:08 > 0:07:13That one's not a very good question. All right, I've got a question.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18What...is...
0:07:18 > 0:07:22..my...name?
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Very good question. Oh, thanks, Tony.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31- Is it Tony?- Ahh! How did you get that? That's impossible!
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Just have your stupid... Ohh! It's mine! It's mine!
0:07:35 > 0:07:39Why did you ask that question? You thought of the question.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43No, I didn't! It's time you took responsibility for your questions.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- Are you all right, Bern? - Yep, found it.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50You haven't seen my phone, have you? I thought I left it on the sofa.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53DOORBELL RINGS
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Tony take it. Ha-ha!
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Good goal, Danny! You bent it like Beckham!
0:08:04 > 0:08:06HE LAUGHS
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Right, it's my turn to go!
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Aw, thanks, Danny! You really are my bestest friend in the whole world!
0:08:13 > 0:08:19And it is the England captain, Eddie Big, to take the final penalty
0:08:19 > 0:08:22for the World Cup final! The crowd roars.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28But... Er! The ball's soft, I think it's got a puncture.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33- Yeah, I noticed that.- I can't have my bestest pal in the whole world
0:08:33 > 0:08:35playing with a flat football!
0:08:35 > 0:08:40I tell you what! I'll get my extra-special ball from my bag!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43No, no, Eddie, Eddie, no, it's fine, we'll just play with that one.
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Danny! I'm offering you the chance to play with the best football ever!
0:08:48 > 0:08:52I've never let anyone else play with it but I'm letting you play with it
0:08:52 > 0:08:54because you're my bestest, bestest friend!
0:08:55 > 0:08:59HE SOBS
0:08:59 > 0:09:04- I'm just trying to be nice! - OK, Eddie, it's fine.- OK!
0:09:06 > 0:09:10And it's Eddie Big to win the game.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Eddie! No! Stop that!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- Stop it! - HE SCREAMS
0:09:20 > 0:09:22You see, Danny?
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I'm Eddie Big!
0:09:25 > 0:09:29If you want my advice, don't believe anyone who tells you
0:09:29 > 0:09:33that custard's a perfect replacement for hair.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36It won't dry, you idiot! It's custard!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44"Ladies and gentlemen, if you require refreshments,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- "the trolley is passing through the plane."- Drinks or snacks?
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Anything from the trolley for yourself?
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- Out of the way, please. - Make room for the trolley.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- Malcolm.- Excuse me, sir! What do you think you're doing?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Pardon?- Leaving your bag in the aisle like that.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- How are we supposed to get the trolley through?- Sorry, I'll move it.
0:10:06 > 0:10:11That's better! Honestly. How are we supposed to get this trolley through?
0:10:11 > 0:10:13There must be a clear passage for the trolley.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Excuse me.- Yeah, what is it? - You're holding up the trolley.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I'd like a sandwich, please.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23- What fillings have you got? - Erm... Well, I'm not sure.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- What would you say that is, Colin? - Egg?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Smells like egg. What do you think?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- CHOMPING - Egg. Definitely.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- No, no, hang on, I'm not convinced. - Oh, yeah, there is something else.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43BOTH: Cress.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47- So, we've got egg and cress. - Anything else?
0:10:49 > 0:10:53- Chicken mayo.- Cheesy tomato.- Ooh!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- Crayfish and rocket! - We'll split those.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02- That's ham and mustard, isn't it? - Always best to check, dear.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- HE BELCHES All right?- That mustard is very tart.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Erm, I'll have cheese and tomato, please.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21Oh! I'm afraid we are completely out of sandwiches.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24All right, I'll just have a packet of chocolate buttons.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27No, they're all gone, too.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32- HE BREAKS WIND - What's that noise?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- HE BREAKS WIND Colin, are you all right?- No.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- I'm afraid the bad thing's happening again, Malcolm.- Come on, hop on.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Ladies and gentlemen, the trolley's closed due to expected turbulence.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Clear the aisle! Trolley coming through!
0:11:46 > 0:11:48RUMBLING
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I've been finding it hard to move recently
0:11:51 > 0:11:54and I've been feeling really lethargic.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Yes, I see the problem. You've been clamped.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02- Oh, no! How did I get that? - Have you been into town today?
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Er, I was waiting for my girlfriend by a bus stop.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- How long for?- Don't know. - Over 20 minutes?
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- Yeah, I suppose.- Can you just open your shirt, please?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Ahh! - Oh, yeah, it's a parking violation.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19It's a shame you didn't get to me sooner.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22I'm going to have to call in a specialist.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24David, could you send in Dr Richards, please?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33THUNDER BOOMS
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Hello? Hello?
0:12:37 > 0:12:40I got a flyer for the museum. Well, it was stapled to my wife
0:12:40 > 0:12:44and she's wasn't very happy. Thought I'd better see what's going on.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Hello? Hello?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49An advertisement stapled to your wife, indeed! How lucky.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53How lucky you are. How lucky she is. For it means you have won a prize.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56A prize, would you believe? Hip-hip-haroof!
0:12:57 > 0:13:02- Who's this idiot?- Oh! We have been rumbled! Rumbled, I tell you.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Blast and damnation!
0:13:04 > 0:13:08- You have eagle eyes, Mr... Mr... - Er, Frank, Frank Cooper.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10- THUNDER BOOMS - A viscount!
0:13:10 > 0:13:14In our own museum! We are honoured!
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Well, Viscount Previn, you have eagle eyes indeed,
0:13:17 > 0:13:22for this is not Mr Faraway. This is his stunt double.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27- Uh!- Oh! Excellent falling, not Mr Faraway.- Thank you, Mr Elevenses.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31- Right then, what about this prize? - All in good time.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- Have a look at the exhibits while you are here.- You'll love it!
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Oh, such bravery, not Mr Faraway!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- Viscount, step this way. - Erm, I'm not actually a viscount,
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- I'm just called Frank.- Ooh!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Does anyone need me to leap out of a window?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Not I, Mr Faraway's stunt double,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51but I should inform you as soon as the opportunity arises.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Terribly good of you!
0:13:53 > 0:13:57- Now then, the exhibit.- Ooh! Think I twanged my knee on that one.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- Actually, I think I might be getting back.- Back to seeing the exhibits
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- at the... - BOTH: Museum of the Imagination!
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Under this cloth lie the winged sandals of Hermes.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Winged sandals that allowed her mind to fly!
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Well, come on, then, let's see them. - Of course you may.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18BOTH: In your imagination!
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- HE SIGHS - Brilliant. Can I go now?
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Is that not the most amazing thing you have ever seen...
0:14:24 > 0:14:27BOTH: In your imagination?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30I really think I will go cos the football's on in ten minutes.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34A sporting man! Then perhaps you would like to see the very football
0:14:34 > 0:14:38that won the 1966 World Cup.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41What, really? You've got that? The actual ball?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43The actual ball!
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Fake punch there. Little trick of the trade.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51Yes, viscount, under this lies that famous sphere.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- Shall I jump out of the window now? - Not yet, Mr Faraway.- Can I see it?
0:14:55 > 0:15:00Well, of course you may! BOTH: In your imagination!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Right. I really have had enough of this. Where's my prize?
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Oh, well, of course you shall have it.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09BOTH: In your imagination!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Well, what a terribly rude viscount!
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Didn't he want to see the ghost of Julius Caesar?
0:15:21 > 0:15:25- Should I come out-a now? - Not now, ghost of Julius Caesar.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Oh.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Probably just as well. Wahh!
0:15:31 > 0:15:35'Sticky Martin. He's got the stickiest hands in the world!'
0:15:44 > 0:15:46WHISTLE BLOWS
0:15:46 > 0:15:48TRAIN CHUGS
0:15:50 > 0:15:51TRAIN CLATTERS
0:15:59 > 0:16:01TRAIN CLATTERS
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Oh, he'll know!- Yes, arks him.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11You, little man! I'm going to arks you a ting.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15Now, do you know who won the Eurovision Song Contest in 1968?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18We've argued about it since we left the shop that sells haircuts!
0:16:18 > 0:16:22- I'm pretty sure it's N-Dubz! - I think it was Queen Victoria.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- I don't think it's either. - What?- You're both wrong.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- One of us must be right! - We can't both be wrong!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- That doesn't make any sense! - Are you very, very stupid?
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I don't know much about songs, I'm a florist.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- Fluorescent? You glow in the dark? - You're a flautist! You play flute!
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- No, I'm a florist. - Florence?- Oh, and her machines!
0:16:41 > 0:16:44THEY SING DIFFERENT SONGS
0:16:44 > 0:16:47No, no, ladies, I'm a florist. I sell flowers.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Oh! Then I'll have a kilo of self-raising, thank you.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55- She's been baking furiously. - Dr Conway is addicted to my scones!
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- I don't know what she puts in them. - Special milk.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00No, I don't sell flour for cooking, I sell flowers.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Roses, lilies, crysanths, tulips. Look around you.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08- All right, Pootle from The Flumps, no need to shout!- No shouting!
0:17:08 > 0:17:11I could do with some flowers to put in my buttonhole.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Dr Conway is coming round later and I'm hoping I can turn his stomach
0:17:15 > 0:17:19- with a giddy bouquet.- I've got just the thing. Lovely roses.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21I'll never get all of those in my top hole!
0:17:21 > 0:17:24- I'll look like a giddy clown! - No, I sell them singly.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- One, two, a dozen, as many as you want.- Whoa!
0:17:28 > 0:17:31You steady on there, Justin Bieber.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Sell?- For money? - Hard golden coinage!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36You silver-tongued money spider, luring us in
0:17:36 > 0:17:38like fickle fiscal flies into your sticky web!
0:17:38 > 0:17:42- Buzzy, buzzy, buzzy! - Agh! Nothing's free these days!
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Apart from the lifejackets on aeroplanes.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- They don't like you smuggling them off the plane in your stomach!- No!
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- I had four. They're filling once you pull the toggle!- Woof!
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- She got a telling off from a stewardess.- She looked like a man.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- You will pay a pretty penny for these.- Oh, yes.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- And the petals won't come cheap. - No, the thorns will be extra.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05- Double for the stench!- I shouldn't think you'll get much change
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- out of £1,000 when all's said and done.- £1,000?- About £1,000.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11£1,000? It's too much!
0:18:11 > 0:18:15- Ladies, please. Each rose just costs £1.50.- £1,000 is absurd!
0:18:15 > 0:18:19It's too much, £1,000 just for one of your roses in my buttonhole!
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Yes! We shall buy a Rolls Royce, we shall drive to Holland
0:18:23 > 0:18:27and there we shall choose a rose from their tulip fields!
0:18:27 > 0:18:31Do you know, young man, it's my hope that you develop hay fever
0:18:31 > 0:18:35- and sneeze yourself through the back wall!- Good day! Ooh, flowers for me?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37You should've said! You're in here!
0:18:37 > 0:18:40You've got a chance! Keep bashing away!
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Hello. Now, if you're anything like me,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50you will probably enjoy your foods from all over the different worlds.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53So today I thought I'd mix it up in the kitchen
0:18:53 > 0:18:56and attempt a fiery little curry from Northern India, mm.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Well, that smells absolutely delicious, I can tell you.
0:19:02 > 0:19:07Needs a bit more spice so we'll just add a little bit of curry powder.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13There we go.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19Again, it's not quite got that kick that I'm after
0:19:19 > 0:19:23so I might just pop in a little bit more chilli.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31We're getting there. Now, what I'm going to add to that, actually,
0:19:31 > 0:19:34is a very secret ingredient of mine,
0:19:34 > 0:19:37blueberries. SHE BREAKS WIND
0:19:38 > 0:19:41SHE BREAKS WIND Beg your pardon.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Mix it up a bit.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Ooh, goodness. Er, maybe a little too much spice.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Er, I'll try a metal spoon.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Absolutely delicious. And you know what really sets this apart
0:19:56 > 0:19:59from other dishes? It's the blueberries.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02SHE BREAKS WIND Ooh! That is not going to washout.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
0:20:06 > 0:20:09'This is the Outer Hebridean island of North Barrasay.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14'During an unusually vicious storm, the classroom is badly hit.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16'But the school day must go on.'
0:20:19 > 0:20:21So, Ross, that's quite a storm outside.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Oh, I've seen worse, to be honest.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28- Really?- Yes. Our house didn't used to be a bungalow.
0:20:28 > 0:20:33- We lost the first floor in the Great Gust of 2007.- Wow.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40So, Valerie, were you affected by the storm?
0:20:41 > 0:20:45Yes, unfortunately, I'd just popped out for my midnight digestives
0:20:45 > 0:20:50when the storm hit, so I had to ride it out in the sheep barn
0:20:50 > 0:20:52until it finished itself off.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56- Gosh. So you didn't get much sleep. - No, no, Wendy.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Neither did the sheep. Very nervous animals in bad weather.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Very nervous animals indeed.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Are you OK, miss?
0:21:10 > 0:21:15Yes, yes, I'm fine. Now, Ross, get out your maths books, please.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- We're supposed to be doing Spanish, miss.- I'm well aware of that, Ross,
0:21:18 > 0:21:22but the Spanish books are under that tree so unless you have a chainsaw,
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- we're doing maths.- OK.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Ooh, could you pass me the chalk?
0:21:31 > 0:21:34We can't really interrupt, Valerie. We're just observers.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Don't be ridiculous. Stuart the cameraman, pass me the chalk.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- No, Stuart, don't let go.- Wahh!
0:21:41 > 0:21:44CLATTERING AND SMASHING
0:21:46 > 0:21:49'Despite the difficult teaching conditions,
0:21:49 > 0:21:52'Valerie rises to the challenge with characteristic ingenuity.'
0:21:58 > 0:22:02- Are you all right there, Valerie? - Yep.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Er, Valerie, don't you think it would be a good idea
0:22:09 > 0:22:12to suspend school until it's all a bit more...horizontal?
0:22:12 > 0:22:18No, no, challenging situations create a great learning experience.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25CRASHING
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Are you OK, miss?
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Yes, Ross, I'm fine.
0:22:30 > 0:22:35- Now, use the rope system and go and fill in the answer, please.- Right.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54HE GROANS
0:23:05 > 0:23:06Now fill it in.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- HE PANTS - I don't want to let go, miss.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13And I'm quite sure you don't want to get a D, either, Ross.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- Miss, I can't hold on! Agh! - CLATTERING
0:23:19 > 0:23:21HE GROANS
0:23:21 > 0:23:22Wrong.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Wow! That was great fun!
0:23:25 > 0:23:28I've never been to a dog-tickling competition before.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32- The way you made that Labrador giggle was brilliant!- Yeah!
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- Oooh! Oooh! - HE LAUGHS
0:23:35 > 0:23:38It's just a shame I couldn't do any, what with my dog allergy.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42- One tickle and I would've come out in a rash.- Hm.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Funny you should mention that cos I've got something that might help
0:23:45 > 0:23:50- with your little canine problem. - Really?- Mm, yes. Over here.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54HE LAUGHS MENACINGLY
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Hang on!
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- Is this one of your mad experiments? - No!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05- How could you think that? - Because you've got...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- Oh, never mind.- Mwah-ha-ha! Behold!
0:24:10 > 0:24:14Tesnac compound LV426.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18It is one of your mad experiments! Well, I'm not interested.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Every time I try one of your experiments,
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- something awful happens to me! - No, it doesn't.- Oh, yeah?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Remember when I tried your special pill to make me like broccoli?
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- It worked, though! - It gave me broccoli hair!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Aghhh!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35And I still didn't like broccoli.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- HE SIGHS - I was a lot younger then.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Not as good at experiments. But this one really works!
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- And it tastes delicious! - I'm not trying it!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Oh, please!
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Please! Please!
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- Ple-e-e-ease!- All right, you talked me into it.- Ah!
0:24:57 > 0:25:03Prepare to be cured of your dog allergy! Mwah-ha-ha-ooh-ha-ha.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Urgh! It tastes disgusting!
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- Erm, anything happening?- No!
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Oh, hang on. Oh.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16I do feel something.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21SQUELCHING / BUBBLING
0:25:26 > 0:25:30Hm. That really shouldn't have happened.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Still, got to make the best of a bad job.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- Fetch! - DOG BARKS
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Good boy, good boy. Good boy.
0:25:44 > 0:25:49- Hello! Hey! I've come to break a world record!- Which one?
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Isn't it obvious?- No.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I'm here to break the world record for the fastest rapper.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02Yes, hello, Deborah. The record for the world's fastest rapper, please.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- Good weekend?- No.- I had an egg.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11PHONE RINGS
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Yes, hello? Deborah! I told you not to call me at work.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Oh, right, yes.
0:26:17 > 0:26:22The record for the world's fastest rapper is 612 words in one minute.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Oh, easy! I can break that no problem.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- Turn this rubbish off.- But... - No, I need to get in the zone.- Right.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Out of interest, what makes you think you can rap?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Where I come from, rapping is just a way of life.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36- Where's that?- North Yorkshire.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Right, here we go. Get your clock out.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43RAP BEATS
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Oh, no, right, sorry.
0:26:46 > 0:26:51Here we... Oh. Er, long intro. Thought it was going to...
0:26:51 > 0:26:55Yep, right. In a minute. It's exciting.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Go! Ooh, ooh, ooh.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02HE MAKES SILLY NOISES Ooh, ooh.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05HE MAKES SILLY NOISES Ah! Ooh!
0:27:05 > 0:27:07HE MAKES SILLY NOISES Ooh, ahh!
0:27:07 > 0:27:12- HE MAKES SILLY NOISES - Stop! Stop it!
0:27:12 > 0:27:16That isn't rapping, that's just a load of silly noises!
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- What's rapping, then?- Words.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22- Words? Like, about what?- About things you do, about your average day.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Oh, my average day, things I do! Right, OK, here we go.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Let me tell you about myself, my name is Mark,
0:27:29 > 0:27:33I feed the ducks when I go to the... Oh. Erm...
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Agh! What do you call it? What's the word? I can't think.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40- Park.- Good!
0:27:40 > 0:27:43I've got a super brain and a massive vocabulary,
0:27:43 > 0:27:47but I can't think of a word that rhymes with vocabulary.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50- Bo! How was that? How many words?- 42.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52- Right. What's the record?- 612.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Ohh! So close! Check it!
0:27:57 > 0:28:00- I'm Eddie Big! - Tony take it. It's mine.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03I'll get you, Philippe!
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Witch! She's a witch!
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Maybe my bees can help.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- £1,000!- £1,000!
0:28:09 > 0:28:11BOTH: In your imagination!
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:28:14 > 0:28:14.