Episode 13

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0:00:00 > 0:00:02# La-la-la-la-la

0:00:02 > 0:00:04# La-la-la-la-la-la

0:00:05 > 0:00:08# La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

0:00:10 > 0:00:13# La-la-la-la-la-la

0:00:13 > 0:00:15# La-la-la-la-la-la

0:00:15 > 0:00:19# La-la-la-la-la-la-la. #

0:00:26 > 0:00:27Hiya!

0:00:27 > 0:00:28All right?

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Oh, what?

0:00:30 > 0:00:34This is a breakfast-based catastrophe!

0:00:34 > 0:00:38I've got two lovely hot pieces of toast.

0:00:38 > 0:00:43I go to the cupboard and discover there's no honey! I love honey. Oh!

0:00:43 > 0:00:46- Maybe my bees can help. - Oh, good idea. Thank you!

0:00:47 > 0:00:51- I said, "Maybe my bees can help." - Yes, I said "Good idea." Thanks.

0:00:51 > 0:00:55It's a little-known fact that bees are excellent shoppers.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Given the exact change and a tiny map,

0:00:57 > 0:00:59the bees will fly to the supermarket,

0:00:59 > 0:01:04find the correct aisle and locate the exact honey for your toast.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Then fly it back here on their tiny yet numerous backs

0:01:07 > 0:01:09thus saving your breakfast!

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Don't bees make honey?

0:01:11 > 0:01:13I'll give them some quick but simple instructions

0:01:13 > 0:01:17and they will soon come to your aid, my toast-chomping friend.

0:01:17 > 0:01:21Really? Haven't they maybe got some honey already in the hive?

0:01:21 > 0:01:24It's no trouble for these most helpful of bees.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26I'll give them a few instructions.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32There's no honey... Buzz buzz buzz buzz.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34..boring toast. Buzz, buzz, buzz.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Doesn't like marmalade. Buzz, buzz.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40Ooh, almost forgot! Buzz, buzz!

0:01:42 > 0:01:45Now, fly, my hive-minded beauties.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Ooh. Get off! Aghh! Aghh!

0:01:48 > 0:01:50Ow! No, get the honey!

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Aghh! Not me! Ow!

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Aghh! My beautiful bees.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Ow! Oh, this is so obvious!

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Ow, again and again.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Mum! Dad!

0:02:16 > 0:02:18What are you doing there?

0:02:18 > 0:02:22Did you think we'd let you go on your first date without wishing you luck?

0:02:22 > 0:02:27- Thanks.- Because my goodness, you'll need all the luck you can get.

0:02:27 > 0:02:31- What?- Well, she's so out of your league, it's unreal.

0:02:31 > 0:02:36She's like Manchester United to your Grimsby Town Juniors fifth team.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38(Bad.)

0:02:38 > 0:02:43- Is she really?- And your clothes won't exactly help your chances.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47- I thought I looked good. - Yes, you do - in opposite world.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49You could get nervous. A little tongue-tied.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52You might panic and call her Munty Moose-pig.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54No, I won't!

0:02:54 > 0:02:56You might accidentally spill a drink on her

0:02:56 > 0:03:00or throw spaghetti in her face. Then she'd get up and go

0:03:00 > 0:03:04and you'd feel humiliated and useless and small.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07Then you'd get a nickname like "Mr Bad Date."

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Or "Mr Hated-by-Susan".

0:03:10 > 0:03:14- Why are you saying these things? - Just trying to help.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Trying to avoid a long lonely life of regret

0:03:16 > 0:03:20wondering if things might be different if you weren't rubbish.

0:03:20 > 0:03:21Right.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Anyway, you'd better hurry along.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27We'll stay here and watch a romantic comedy

0:03:27 > 0:03:29on Digital Versatile Disc.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31See people doing a proper date.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Fine. Right, well...

0:03:33 > 0:03:38I guess I'll stay here and watch it with you guys, then.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41That's the spirit. Quit while you're ahead.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44No! I'm going to go on my date.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47I like Susan and Susan likes me.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Things are going to go brilliantly.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51So much optimism.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53In spite of it all.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Frankly, if it all goes well, I'll strap a chicken to my head

0:03:57 > 0:03:59and pretend I'm Charlotte Church.

0:04:03 > 0:04:04DVD PLAYS

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- I'm back.- Oh. How did it go?

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Oh, it was brilliant! We're going out again tomorrow

0:04:13 > 0:04:16and she's agreed to be my girlfriend and, in time, my wife.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19And I was given an award for being the best person on a date

0:04:19 > 0:04:22by the International Romance Society.

0:04:22 > 0:04:26And on the way home, I stopped at the chicken shop

0:04:26 > 0:04:27and got this...

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Charlotte!

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Oh.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36I'm Charlotte Church.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39That's not Charlotte Church! Do the voice properly.

0:04:39 > 0:04:44- HIGH-PITCHED WELSH ACCENT: - I'm Charlotte Church from Wales.

0:04:49 > 0:04:54It's very, very important to include five fruit and veg a day.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56I know I do.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58I'm going to give you a run-down now

0:04:58 > 0:05:02at some of the things you can include in your diet

0:05:02 > 0:05:04in order to keep yourself healthy.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06So here we are, number one.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08It's blueberries. FARTING

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Ooh! At number two,

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Blueberries. FARTING

0:05:13 > 0:05:18Now, under number three here, I've no idea, let's see.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Blueberries. FARTS

0:05:20 > 0:05:22At number four, guess what?

0:05:22 > 0:05:26It's a blueberry! Ooh, gusty! FARTS

0:05:26 > 0:05:30And who could forget number five, spinach.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Only joking, it's blueberries.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35FARTING They really keep you moving.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40LOUD FARTING

0:05:41 > 0:05:44My, it's gone straight through.

0:05:44 > 0:05:45DOORBELL RINGS

0:05:45 > 0:05:49- There's someone at the door, Dean. - Who is it? I'm busy!

0:05:49 > 0:05:52It's your destiny, Dean. Time to meet your arch enemy.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Mr Wilson, the PE teacher?

0:05:55 > 0:05:59No, it's the incredible supermind of Dr Armani Firebird.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01- He's tracked you down.- Hiya!

0:06:01 > 0:06:05- All right?- Go on, Dr Armani. Put your evil scheme into action.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08What evil scheme? I don't have one.

0:06:08 > 0:06:12So he says. Such are the machinations of his evil yet brilliant mind. Go on!

0:06:12 > 0:06:15Goodness! What an incredible adversary, Dean.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19You'll need all your mental and physical attributes now!

0:06:19 > 0:06:22Stop it, Dr Armani!

0:06:22 > 0:06:24We'd better leave you to it

0:06:24 > 0:06:27so you can engage in your life and death battle

0:06:27 > 0:06:30using supreme cunning and your superhuman physical skills.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Do we have to? I've got homework.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Course you do! You're in the grip of megalomania.!

0:06:35 > 0:06:37We talked about this.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40You're being driven mad by your super-human intelligence.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43- What's megalomania? - Can't we do this next week?

0:06:43 > 0:06:48No, Dean, I've told you. No rest until you've vanquished evil. Get on with it.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58So, we meet again, Dr Armani.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02They remember each other from previous deadly encounters.

0:07:02 > 0:07:03No, we do Maths together!

0:07:03 > 0:07:07I propose we settle this once and for all.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09Nice banter, Dean.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Very well. This ends here.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13We've been working on that one.

0:07:13 > 0:07:17We shall settle this by means of a video game.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Yeah, good idea!

0:07:19 > 0:07:21- I'll be Man Utd.- I'll be City.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Square it, Dean. Evil must not triumph.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Clear it, Dr Armani!

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Ooh! Whoo!

0:07:36 > 0:07:38What is that smell? Can you smell that?

0:07:38 > 0:07:41SNIFFS

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Where's it coming from?

0:07:46 > 0:07:49What is that smell?

0:07:49 > 0:07:51Ear wax?

0:07:51 > 0:07:52No.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Your breath?- Ooh, maybe.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Maybe.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59No, no it's not. No.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00- Ooh, elephants!- Elephants?!

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Elephant, yeah. I can smell elephant. Who's got an elephant?

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I can definitely smell elephant.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Ooh, hang on. Hang on! Hang on!

0:08:09 > 0:08:10Ooh! Ooh! Oh!

0:08:23 > 0:08:27That's the thing about the smell of an elephant. You never forget!

0:08:27 > 0:08:29What about this bus?

0:08:38 > 0:08:39I'll put the kettle on.

0:08:40 > 0:08:44Ooh! Did you put that mousetrap down like I asked?

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Yeah, I put one in the dining room last night.

0:08:48 > 0:08:52You're absolutely sure it's a mouse trap you bought?

0:08:52 > 0:08:54Of course! What other sorts of traps are there?

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Oh, ho, ho!

0:09:01 > 0:09:04Oh, ho, ho!

0:09:04 > 0:09:07- Aghh!- Fantastic - Santa Claus!

0:09:07 > 0:09:10I must have bought the wrong box.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Take it back and get the right one, please.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Oh.- Oh, ho, ho!- Sorry about that.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19Sorry about this, mate.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29- You must be busy this time of year.- One way of putting it.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32- What's your name?- Peter Collins.

0:09:34 > 0:09:39It says I've got you down for a remote control helicopter this year.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Yes!- Yeah.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Like that's going to happen!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Oh!

0:09:47 > 0:09:48MOUSE SQUEAKS

0:09:51 > 0:09:55- What's the trouble?- Doctor, I can't see anything out of this eye.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57And I've got a pinching feel in my shoulder.

0:09:57 > 0:10:02- Ah, I know what this is. You've got Buccaneer's Syndrome.- What's that?

0:10:02 > 0:10:05No worries, it's basically pirate flu.

0:10:05 > 0:10:09The pinching sensation is where your parrot is gripping too tightly.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Parrot?!- Squawk!- Ooh!

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Your vision will improve if you lift up the...

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Can you say "ahh" for me?

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Arrrrr!

0:10:22 > 0:10:26Yes, this is a fairly advanced stage.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28I just want to try something.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- Agh!- No, it's not that one.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35HOLLOW TAPPING SOUND Ah.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Ah.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Me leg! What's happened? You've got to helps me, Doctor!

0:10:42 > 0:10:45The treatment for this is very simple.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47I'll write you out a prescription.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50And you'll find it buried...

0:10:52 > 0:10:54..there.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Arrrr!

0:11:03 > 0:11:07I'm just... Look at these. They're all broken.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10All our axes and swords are just worn out.

0:11:10 > 0:11:15- Chief!- Yes.- I've been working on a new kind of weapon for us.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18It's based on an idea from a long time ago.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Somewhere far, far away.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22Oh! Right.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24I haven't tried them out yet.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26But have a go and see what you think.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Sorry, Eric. Is this some kind of joke?

0:11:29 > 0:11:32This wouldn't even scare Sven!

0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Aghh!- All right, you take my point.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38No, you have to switch them on first.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40You hold them out in front of you like this.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Then push the button.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45ALL SCREAM

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Stop! Turn them off!

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Oh.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54They're very impressive, Eric,

0:11:54 > 0:11:56but they're terrifying!

0:11:56 > 0:11:59But if everyone can learn to use them without screaming,

0:11:59 > 0:12:03- we can rule the world with such terrifying weaponry.- Vikings,

0:12:03 > 0:12:05can you try it again without screaming?

0:12:05 > 0:12:08- Of course, yes. Consider it done. - Yes, yes.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12OK, then. Hold them out and press the button.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14ALL SCREAM

0:12:17 > 0:12:23Turn them off. I'm sorry, Eric. They're making everyone too panicky.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27A panicky Viking is like a dog with its bum on fire. Awful!

0:12:27 > 0:12:30We can always use them to scare Sven.

0:12:30 > 0:12:35- Aghh! Aghh! Aghh! - Now that is fun!

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Wow, Pete, that was delish. - Superb. Thanks, Pete.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41No problemo. All got room for pudding?

0:12:41 > 0:12:46- It's an old traditional family recipe.- Always room for pudding.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48I'll go and get it.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53So, Clive, how do you know Pete?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55We were flat mates. I rented a room off him.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57Right. What do you do?

0:12:57 > 0:12:59I'm a clown.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Oh.

0:13:02 > 0:13:08- There we are.- Ooh! - Individually baked custard pies!

0:13:08 > 0:13:11- Those look fantastic.- They must have taken an age to make.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13Oh, forgot the sauce.

0:13:13 > 0:13:17SCARY FAIRGROUND MUSIC

0:13:17 > 0:13:21ECHOES OF CROWD CHEERING

0:13:25 > 0:13:27ELEPHANT ROARS

0:13:29 > 0:13:30Here's the special s...

0:13:31 > 0:13:34Clive! How could you?

0:13:34 > 0:13:36I'm sorry.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38I'm so, so sorry.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40CLOWN'S NOSE PARPS

0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Is that...- No, it's not helping!

0:13:55 > 0:13:59- You!- Little man!- Where are we? - We're completely lost.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01We've been wandering about for hours!

0:14:01 > 0:14:03- This is the Memorial Park.- The park?

0:14:03 > 0:14:06How can that be? We only went to the kitchen to make tea!

0:14:06 > 0:14:09I do get giddy after scoffing aniseed balls.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12- You shouldn't have eaten 400. - Do you want me to starve?

0:14:12 > 0:14:16- I'm wasting away.- True. There's barely anything of her.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20- What are you doing here? - I run the pitch and putt.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23- Hit and cup?- The bits and bobs? - Pistachio nuts?

0:14:23 > 0:14:26- Twitching gut? - What are you talking about?

0:14:26 > 0:14:29Pitch and putt. Like a short version of golf.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31- Crazy golf?- Not really crazy golf.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34My Uncle Higgs was a champion at crazy golf.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37No, dear, he was just crazy.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40No, pitch and putt. Pitch it on the green and try and putt it in.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43Sounds quite diverting. We do like a bit of golf.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47Yes, I have the glad eye for that Colin Montgomerie.

0:14:47 > 0:14:52Beneath those Aran sweaters lies the rippling torso of a predatory man!

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Steady on! Everyone will want your phone number.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57We'll have a go on your pitch and putt, please.

0:14:57 > 0:15:03- OK. Nine or 18?- I'm actually neither. I'm a little over 18.

0:15:03 > 0:15:07- Sweet of you.- No, how many holes do you want to play, nine or 18?

0:15:07 > 0:15:11Oh! Let's split the difference. Five and a half.

0:15:11 > 0:15:15- It'll cost the same as nine. - Cost?!- Oh, price!

0:15:15 > 0:15:19- Money!- The shadow of remuneration towers over us once again.

0:15:19 > 0:15:24- Nothing's free these days. - Apart from the hot towels in the Chinese restaurant.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27They're delicious. But you have to pay for dinner first.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29This pitchy-putt-putt won't come cheap.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33- It's be once to pitch, then pay again to putt.- Yes.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Then you'll have to pay for the clubs.- And more for the holes.

0:15:36 > 0:15:40Not much change from £1,000, when all's said and done.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43- A thousand pounds?!- It's what these things cost, apparently!

0:15:43 > 0:15:47- No, ladies. Each game costs £3.50. - A thousand pounds!

0:15:47 > 0:15:50- A thousand pounds is too much! - It's absurd!

0:15:50 > 0:15:54I won't pay £1,000 just to pitch your putts!

0:15:54 > 0:15:57Come, Jasmine. Let us ride two wild stags to Scotland.

0:15:57 > 0:16:02And thence to Gleneagles, to pitch our own putt with sugary Lord Alan.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04I hope you get a hole in one.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07And then realise you've got a hole in the other!

0:16:07 > 0:16:11Good day! I like your beach.

0:16:11 > 0:16:12You look great in a swimsuit!

0:16:18 > 0:16:20I'll have that.

0:16:22 > 0:16:27Sticky Martin - he's got the stickiest hands in the world!

0:16:56 > 0:16:58SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:16:58 > 0:17:00OMG!

0:17:00 > 0:17:02- Yes?- So you know what's like hot?

0:17:02 > 0:17:03What? What's hot?

0:17:03 > 0:17:06Justin Bieber is like so hot right now!

0:17:06 > 0:17:09- Justin Bieber is so hot now. - Justin Bieber is like amazable.

0:17:09 > 0:17:13OMG, yeah. He's like totally, totes amazable.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16- I call him the Bieber. - I call him the Biebs.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19- I call him the B. - I call him the buh...

0:17:19 > 0:17:21He's like so totally like gorgeous.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Oh, MFG, I would totally like to kiss him and things.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27I'd like to be in a car crash and be in a coma for a month

0:17:27 > 0:17:31and then my cousin comes round and phones the Biebs and he comes to me

0:17:31 > 0:17:34and sings Eenie Meenie just for me and that's what would happen.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37That is totally normal because everyone loves Justin Bieber.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39My mum loves Justin Bieber.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Like everyone loves Justin Bieber.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44He's totally everywhere and everyone's sick of him!

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Like too much of Bieber.

0:17:47 > 0:17:51When I first liked Justin Bieber, no-one else knew about him.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Now everyone likes him. I'm so over Justin Bieber.

0:17:55 > 0:17:56- And his hat.- His hat?

0:17:56 > 0:17:58He wears like a hair hat.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00It's totally stupid.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02If he ever sings Eenie Meenie ever again

0:18:02 > 0:18:08and if I ever see his round face I'm gonna be totally sick out of my eyes. It's not funny.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10I'm so over Justin Bieber now.

0:18:10 > 0:18:11He's so not hot.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14- Not.- Hot.- Eugh!- Beughh!

0:18:15 > 0:18:18This is the Outer Hebridean island of North Barrasay.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21During an unusually vicious storm,

0:18:21 > 0:18:23the classroom is badly hit.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25But the school day must go on.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30So, Ross, that's quite a storm outside.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33I've seen worse, to be honest.

0:18:33 > 0:18:37- Really?- Yes, our house didn't used to be a bungalow.

0:18:37 > 0:18:41We lost the first floor in the great gusts of 2007.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Wow!

0:18:45 > 0:18:49So, Valerie, were you affected by the storm?

0:18:50 > 0:18:55Yes, unfortunately, I'd just popped out for my midnight digestives

0:18:55 > 0:18:56when the storm hit.

0:18:56 > 0:19:01So I had to ride it out in the sheep barn until it finished itself off.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Gosh, so you didn't get much sleep?

0:19:03 > 0:19:06No, and neither did the sheep.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Very nervous animals in bad weather.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Very nervous animals indeed.

0:19:17 > 0:19:18Are you OK, Miss?

0:19:18 > 0:19:23Yes, yes, I'm fine. Now, Ross, get out your maths books, please.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26We're supposed to be doing Spanish, Miss.

0:19:26 > 0:19:30I'm aware of that, Ross, but the Spanish books are under that tree.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33- So unless you've got a chainsaw, we're doing Maths.- OK.

0:19:38 > 0:19:43- Could you pass me the chalk? - We can't interrupt. We're just observers.

0:19:43 > 0:19:47Don't be ridiculous. Stewart on camera, could you pass the chalk?

0:19:47 > 0:19:49No, Stewart, don't let go!

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Aghh!

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Despite the difficult teaching conditions,

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Valerie rises to the challenge with characteristic ingenuity.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Are you all right there, Valerie?

0:20:10 > 0:20:11Yep.

0:20:15 > 0:20:22Valerie, wouldn't it be a good idea to suspend school till it's more horizontal?

0:20:22 > 0:20:27No. I think challenging situations create a great learning experience.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35CRASH!

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Are you OK, Miss?

0:20:37 > 0:20:39Yes, Ross, I'm fine.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43Now, use the rope system and go and fill in the answer, please.

0:20:43 > 0:20:44Right.

0:21:14 > 0:21:15Now fill it in.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19I don't want to let go, Miss!

0:21:19 > 0:21:22And I'm quite sure you don't want to get a D, either, Ross.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Miss, I can't hold on!

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Aghhh!

0:21:30 > 0:21:31Wrong!

0:21:37 > 0:21:40- Hello!- What are you doing? I'm having my lunch!

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Don't worry, carry on.

0:21:44 > 0:21:48I'm here to break the world record for plate spinning!

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Fine.

0:21:50 > 0:21:54Antonia, can you give me the world record for plate spinning?

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Actually, I know it anyway. Take the day off.

0:21:58 > 0:22:03The world record for the number of plates spinning at one time is 108.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Easy! Right!

0:22:05 > 0:22:06Wh...

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Plate one! PLATE SMASHES

0:22:10 > 0:22:12You've never spun a plate before, have you?

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Not until I spun that one just now, no!

0:22:14 > 0:22:18- It's easier when you've got loads. - I don't think so.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20No, no, don't take those...

0:22:20 > 0:22:24They're commemorative plates we give to someone who's broken a record.

0:22:24 > 0:22:28It's fine. I'll get them back to you in tip-top condition.

0:22:28 > 0:22:29You won't know they've been moved.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Number two!

0:22:31 > 0:22:34Three!

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Four!

0:22:37 > 0:22:39Five! Woo-hoo! Six!

0:22:43 > 0:22:44105!

0:22:44 > 0:22:47106!

0:22:47 > 0:22:49107!

0:22:49 > 0:22:53108! That's the record! 109!

0:22:53 > 0:22:55I've broken the world record!

0:22:55 > 0:22:58No, you've broken 109 of my plates.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00Oh, so close!

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Well, that was brilliant!

0:23:07 > 0:23:10I've never been to a catching competition before.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14I've got 15 cricket balls, five fish and three escaped criminals!

0:23:14 > 0:23:17All I caught was a cold.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20Well, that's quite difficult

0:23:20 > 0:23:23because germs are very, very small.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25That's called nano-catching.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27- It's very tricky. - Well, I feel rubbish.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29A-choo!

0:23:29 > 0:23:32I can't even catch my own sneezes!

0:23:32 > 0:23:36- I've got something that could help you.- Really?- Follow me.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39A-ha-ha!

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Hang on!

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Is this one of your mad experiments?

0:23:47 > 0:23:48No!

0:23:48 > 0:23:50How could you think that?

0:23:50 > 0:23:54Well, the hair and the coat and all the...

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Oh, never mind!

0:23:56 > 0:23:58Behold,

0:23:58 > 0:24:05anti-viral serum NCC-1701.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07It is one of your mad experiments!

0:24:07 > 0:24:09Maybe a bit.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11Your experiments always go wrong!

0:24:11 > 0:24:14My experiments are excellent.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18Oh, yeah? What about your moustache-growing medicine

0:24:18 > 0:24:21so I could pretend to be a grown-up and see that film?

0:24:21 > 0:24:23It worked, didn't it?

0:24:23 > 0:24:25It grew a metre every ten minutes!

0:24:25 > 0:24:28You looked great.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30I was a massive ball of moustache hair!

0:24:32 > 0:24:35It took five hairdressers one day to cut me free.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Well, I said I was sorry.

0:24:38 > 0:24:42Besides, I've learnt a lot since then.

0:24:42 > 0:24:47- This cold remedy is perfectly safe. - Really?

0:24:47 > 0:24:50- It tastes a lot worse than it looks. - Do you promise?

0:24:50 > 0:24:52I promise.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Promise!

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Promise, promise!

0:24:56 > 0:24:57Promise! Ha-ha-ha!

0:24:57 > 0:25:00That's a convincing number of promises. I'll try it.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Hang on... I do feel something.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Oops!

0:25:17 > 0:25:19My hands!

0:25:21 > 0:25:27That wasn't meant to happen. Still, you can catch things properly now!

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Or not.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Sorry!

0:25:38 > 0:25:39What?!

0:25:39 > 0:25:40Oh, no!

0:25:40 > 0:25:43- Oh, no!- All right, love?

0:25:43 > 0:25:44My car!

0:25:44 > 0:25:48My car was here and it's been stolen. My dog was inside it!

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Keep calm. Don't worry.

0:25:50 > 0:25:51Oh, no! My dog!

0:25:53 > 0:25:54Officer!

0:25:56 > 0:25:59- What's the problem?- My car was there and it's been stolen.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01And my dog was inside it!

0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Not a very good guard dog, then! - Help me find him!

0:26:04 > 0:26:08- Give me a description.- He's big, white with black spots.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10He's a Dalmatian cross.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14Oh! Oh, that's him!

0:26:14 > 0:26:17I'm really sorry for wasting police time.

0:26:22 > 0:26:26You are a bad dog! A very bad dog! Going off like that!

0:26:26 > 0:26:28I thought it would be nice to pick you up.

0:26:28 > 0:26:29Sorry?

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Woof!

0:26:31 > 0:26:32Definitely woof!

0:26:48 > 0:26:50- What are you doing?- My hat's gone!

0:26:50 > 0:26:52My hat's gone!

0:26:56 > 0:26:58What are you doing with...

0:27:06 > 0:27:10He says everything backwards in order to grow younger.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13And it's working, too. I've lost six minutes since I started.

0:27:13 > 0:27:18- Oh, minutes since I lost six have... - It's rather confusing!

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Those words were not in the right order!

0:27:20 > 0:27:25- That was great fun! - Yeah? Into that... Sorry!

0:27:26 > 0:27:27Stop!

0:27:28 > 0:27:33- What are you doing?- Sorry! - Good. That's normal.

0:27:33 > 0:27:37That is so amazable. That is so like...

0:27:39 > 0:27:41I just dribbled!

0:27:41 > 0:27:42Quite a lot, as well!

0:27:44 > 0:27:47Yes, I have quite...

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Rubbish! I'm not even acting!

0:27:54 > 0:27:56# La-la-la-la-la. #

0:27:59 > 0:28:02I'll get you, Philippe!

0:28:02 > 0:28:04Witch! She's a witch!

0:28:04 > 0:28:06Maybe my bees can help.

0:28:06 > 0:28:09- One thousand pounds! - A thousand pounds!

0:28:09 > 0:28:11In your imagination!