Episode 7

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05# La-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la

0:00:05 > 0:00:08# La-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la

0:00:08 > 0:00:11# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

0:00:11 > 0:00:15# La-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# La-la-la-la-la-la-la. #

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Wow! That was great fun!

0:00:23 > 0:00:27Yeah. International Licking Things You Don't Normally Lick Day

0:00:27 > 0:00:28was actually quite cool.

0:00:28 > 0:00:32I never imagined that a lamppost would taste of strawberries.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35Who'd have thought that cars tasted of beef?!

0:00:35 > 0:00:38I just wish I hadn't licked that shop.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41It tasted of dogs' bottoms and sprouts.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43I can't get rid of the taste either.

0:00:43 > 0:00:47- Would you like some chewing gum? - Yes, please. Perfect.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49I've got a new type over here.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51EVIL MUSIC

0:00:52 > 0:00:54EVIL LAUGHTER

0:00:56 > 0:00:59Hang on. Is this one of your mad experiments?

0:00:59 > 0:01:03No. How could you think that?

0:01:03 > 0:01:07Well, because of all the hair and the coat

0:01:07 > 0:01:09and all the... Oh, never mind.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Behold!

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Elasticated food substance THX1138.

0:01:17 > 0:01:22It is one of your mad experiments! There's no way I'm gonna touch that.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26- Oh, come on. It'll really work. - Your experiments always go wrong.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29- They do not.- What about that time I had a spot

0:01:29 > 0:01:32and you gave me that new anti-spot cream?

0:01:32 > 0:01:36- That cream worked brilliantly. - No! You put too many antis in.

0:01:36 > 0:01:39So I became anti-anti-spot cream!

0:01:39 > 0:01:41Argh!

0:01:41 > 0:01:43I've learned a lot since then.

0:01:43 > 0:01:48Besides, this new gum is the best horrible taste getter ridder ever.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50- No.- Please.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Please. Please.

0:01:54 > 0:01:57- Ple-e-e-e-ase! - Why are you so persuasive?

0:01:57 > 0:02:02All right, I'll give it a try. Anything to get rid of this taste.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06Mmm. It tastes nice.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Really?

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Of course it does.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15Hang on. What's happening?

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Oh, dear.

0:02:20 > 0:02:21My tongue!

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Um, sorry.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32Mind you, I have got envelopes that need licking.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Excuse me and good morning.

0:02:49 > 0:02:53Can you please tell me if there are activities available in the park?

0:02:53 > 0:02:56I couldn't really say. There's a lake over there.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00What style of activities are available at the lake?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Pedalos, rowing boats, that sort of thing.

0:03:03 > 0:03:07Please advise me of other activities at the lake.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09I don't work here, so I don't really...

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Maybe you could feed the ducks.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Will the ducks be grateful for the feeding?- I expect so.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- I think they like it.- You will be impersonating the duck now.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22- No.- Come on! Please impersonate the duck for me now.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25- You will be impersonating the duck for me now.- No.- Duck.- No.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28Be the duck. Be the duck for me now.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34I'm feeding all the bread.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Quack, quack.- Thanking you. Eat the bread.

0:03:37 > 0:03:38Quack, quack.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Quack, quack, quack, quack.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Quack, quack, quack.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Look, I'm sorry, I'm not good at impersonating animals.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50I will be asking you now for the money back, please.

0:03:50 > 0:03:55- Sorry?- The £1 for the loaf of the bread for the feeding of the ducks.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58- But you didn't buy... - Refund, please!

0:04:01 > 0:04:05I'm getting these flashing lights in front of my eyes

0:04:05 > 0:04:08- and I can hear voices in my head. - What kind of voices?

0:04:08 > 0:04:12- Diane, this way please, love. - Diane, sweetheart.

0:04:12 > 0:04:16I've seen this before. This is a mild case of the paparazzis.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19- This way please, love. - Over here, Diane.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22You're not a celebrity, are you?

0:04:22 > 0:04:24Well, I did make it through

0:04:24 > 0:04:30to the Midlands Regional Selections of X Factor 2009, so...

0:04:31 > 0:04:34I think this is a very mild case of the paparazzis.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37It should clear up pretty quickly.

0:04:37 > 0:04:41Lady Gaga's just fallen off a giant pair of shoes getting out of a taxi.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47You see? They've gone.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51- Will they be back?- I doubt it.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55I'll put the kettle on.

0:04:55 > 0:04:59Oh! Did you put that mousetrap down like I asked?

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Yeah. I put one in the dining room last night.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05And you're sure it's a mousetrap you put down?

0:05:05 > 0:05:09Of course. What sort of other traps are there?

0:05:16 > 0:05:20Ah! Ah! Ah!

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Oh, no! I must have picked out the wrong one.

0:05:22 > 0:05:27Check the box next time. Take it back and get rid of him.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28Well...

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Come on, you.

0:05:33 > 0:05:37Thank goodness you're here. I can't take this any more.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Imprisoned here for hours with only the endless night for company.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Trapped with my own despair,

0:05:43 > 0:05:47not knowing if I will ever taste the sweet kiss of freedom once more.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51Was that all right, love?

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Get out.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01LAUGHTER

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Hansel, I can't see any more.

0:06:16 > 0:06:20The trail of breadcrumbs is gone. The birds must have eaten them.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24We are lost. We are lost in the woods.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27We went to all that trouble of leaving a trail of breadcrumbs

0:06:27 > 0:06:29so we could find our way home,

0:06:29 > 0:06:32and now these stupid birds have eaten them.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35I'm absolutely livid about the whole thing!

0:06:35 > 0:06:38Maybe my bees can help.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42- I beg your pardon?- I said, maybe my bees can help.

0:06:42 > 0:06:46- Your bees?- There's no need to be confused, my German friends.

0:06:46 > 0:06:50Let me explain. Bees have a super sense of direction,

0:06:50 > 0:06:53and an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of all known addresses.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56I'll give them a few simple instructions

0:06:56 > 0:06:58and they'll lead you straight home.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01- Really?- Yes. And if you're very nice,

0:07:01 > 0:07:05they might make you a tiny picnic for the journey.

0:07:05 > 0:07:09It has to be tiny because the bees themselves are very tiny.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12- Wonderful! How can we repay you? - Just look after each other.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz. Lost in the woods.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20Buzz-buzz-buzz. Nice people, get them home.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23Buzz-buzz-buzz. They're afraid of the woods.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Buzz-buzz-buzz. I don't like it myself.

0:07:25 > 0:07:29Oh, almost forgot. Buzz, buzz!

0:07:30 > 0:07:34Now fly, nature's sat-navs, and help these two German children.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37No! No! Argh! Argh!

0:07:37 > 0:07:40Not me! Don't attack me!

0:07:40 > 0:07:41Guide them home! Argh!

0:07:41 > 0:07:45Ooh, look, Gretel, a gingerbread house.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48Argh! Argh! No! No!

0:07:56 > 0:08:01- Hello, Simon.- Hello, headmaster. Governor.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04What have you got to show us today, Simon?

0:08:04 > 0:08:07This is excellent. You will be pleased as punch with this.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09How pleased is punch?

0:08:11 > 0:08:13It's hard to tell. I think you'll like it.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16- What have you got?- Well, it's a real bit of fun.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19It's a neat little twist on an old favourite.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Good. Very good.

0:08:21 > 0:08:25I call it bobbing for calculators.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29I know what you're thinking.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32Don't worry, the calculators are waterproof.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34That's a relief.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37You just bob your head in the water

0:08:37 > 0:08:40and try to grab a calculator with your teeth.

0:08:40 > 0:08:45- And if you get the calculator... - You win it!- Lovely idea!

0:08:45 > 0:08:48But be sure to avoid the crabs.

0:08:49 > 0:08:54- The crabs?- Yes. Dozens of crabs guarding the calculators

0:08:54 > 0:08:56at the bottom of the water.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00- And they're alive?- Yes. Of course they're alive. I'm not a monster!

0:09:00 > 0:09:05Who's for a go? Headmaster? Mrs Perkins?

0:09:06 > 0:09:08OK, fine. I'll go first.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Right. Hands behind back.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Calculators, here I come!

0:09:14 > 0:09:17HEAVY METAL MUSIC

0:09:21 > 0:09:23I'm going back in.

0:09:23 > 0:09:27- Do you think he's all right?- He must really want that calculator.

0:09:29 > 0:09:30We'll let you know.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42This is a trick we can play to frighten Sven

0:09:42 > 0:09:45when he gets back from his pillaging city away break.

0:09:45 > 0:09:50What you do is you rip a bit out of the bottom of the matchbox,

0:09:50 > 0:09:53get some cotton wool and pop it in there.

0:09:53 > 0:09:57- I need to put some ketchup on it... - Oi! I was using that!

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Oh, hush. This is a prank.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03Hotdogs come second to pranks in the Ancient Viking Book of War.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07- Wise Chief, how does this prank work?- It's an excellent ruse.

0:10:07 > 0:10:12It looks like I've got a severed finger in a box!

0:10:12 > 0:10:13Ho-ho-ho!

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Chief, may we see it before you play the prank on Sven?

0:10:17 > 0:10:22- Oh, Chief, do let's.- All right, very well, but I must remind you,

0:10:22 > 0:10:28it's my finger in a matchbox with a bit of cotton wool around it

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- and some of Erik's ketchup on it. - We understand.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34Sometimes he talks to us as if we were babies.

0:10:34 > 0:10:40Right, OK. Well, here we go then, the old severed finger in the box trick.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44THEY SCREAM IN TERROR

0:10:46 > 0:10:50It's a finger! A severed finger, by all the gods!

0:10:50 > 0:10:56All of you, calm down. I've told you, it's my finger in the box. Look.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58I'll make it wiggle.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Argh! A severed finger!

0:11:00 > 0:11:02THEY ALL SCREAM

0:11:02 > 0:11:06Save us, oh, Chief! Save us from the naughty finger!

0:11:07 > 0:11:11Hello, all. What's all the fuss about?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Nothing, really...

0:11:13 > 0:11:18I say, Sven, would you like to have a look in my matchbox?

0:11:18 > 0:11:23Certainly, you know I'm interested in the contents of matchboxes,

0:11:23 > 0:11:25although often, they are just matches.

0:11:26 > 0:11:31- Oh, a severed finger. That's just the thing.- Really? Why?

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Cos I lost my finger on my city pillage away break.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37THEY SCREAM IN TERROR

0:11:41 > 0:11:45These chips are dee-licious.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49- Sure you didn't want anything from the chip shop?- Nah. I'm not hungry.

0:11:49 > 0:11:54Ha! You are hungry. Why didn't you get some chips? You love chips.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56I've run out of pocket money.

0:11:56 > 0:12:00Ah, don't worry, Danny, my bestest pal in the while world,

0:12:00 > 0:12:03I'll treat you. You can share mine. Here, take a chip.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05All right. I'll pinch one.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n! Not that one.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12If you're just going to have one chip, take that one,

0:12:12 > 0:12:16the biggest bestest chip in the bag from your bestest pal.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24Ha ha ha!

0:12:24 > 0:12:26La-da-da.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Yeah!

0:12:29 > 0:12:32Oh, Eddie, I can't... I can't eat any more of this.

0:12:32 > 0:12:37But I gave it to you, my bestest pal in the whole world.

0:12:37 > 0:12:41I gave you my bestest, biggest, longest chip.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45I would have had that. You've barely even touched it.

0:12:45 > 0:12:50- HE SOBS - I've always tried to be nice to you.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Buy you lovely things...

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Waaah! Wurgghhh!

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Eddie!

0:12:59 > 0:13:01It's too big!

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Exactly! Which means it's the best!

0:13:06 > 0:13:10All right. I'll finish it. Have you got any salt and vinegar?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Yeah!

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Here you are!

0:13:17 > 0:13:20Oh, one second.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26I thought this might come in handy.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28I made it big!

0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Um, Jade?- Yeah.- Do you know what's totally hot right now?

0:13:32 > 0:13:34- What's hot?- Musicals.- Musicals?

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- Yeah, like Glee and High School The Musical and Wicked.- Totally wicked.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Yeah, they're totally hot. And there's Hairspray and Grease.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46- All like totally amazables.- I've loved musicals longer than anybody,

0:13:46 > 0:13:51- since I was in the womb and stuff. - You know the best thing?- No, what?

0:13:51 > 0:13:55People are just like walking and talking like we are now

0:13:55 > 0:13:58- and they like totally burst into song.- Like totes naturally?

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Yeah, like totally naturally. Like...

0:14:01 > 0:14:07# I'm great and attractive, girl, and I'm wearing a pair of shoes

0:14:07 > 0:14:14# And there's a really ugly guy, have you seen my snazzy shoes?

0:14:14 > 0:14:19# I'm gonna give him the eye, I thought I hadn't finished... #

0:14:19 > 0:14:23Jade, musicals are SO not hot.

0:14:25 > 0:14:29Oh. Yeah, I know. Like musicals are so like for kids.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32- Musicals are like so lame. - Yeah, like really lame.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Like Glee?- Oh, rubbish. - Legally Blonde?- So not!

0:14:35 > 0:14:39- Hairspray?- Not hot. - We Will Rock You?- SO not hot!

0:14:39 > 0:14:41- So...- Not...- Hot!

0:14:41 > 0:14:43BELL RINGS

0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Mum, have you seen my games console? - No. Where did you leave it?

0:14:46 > 0:14:50- Where the cat's sleeping.- Have a rummage down the back of the sofa,

0:14:50 > 0:14:54but don't disturb Mr Jim. He's having a lovely sleep.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59CAT PURRS CONTENTEDLY

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Woah!

0:15:10 > 0:15:13I can feel it getting straighter as you're doing it.

0:15:13 > 0:15:18It's a very popular service. I thought it would be painful.

0:15:18 > 0:15:22- Come on, give it back.- Tony take it. This is Tony's Hair Salon.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25Salon-straight hair. Yes, indeed!

0:15:25 > 0:15:29That's not a hair straightener and this isn't a salon.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33Uh-uh, girlfriend! This is Tony's Hair Salon!

0:15:33 > 0:15:38And you have not got an appointment! No, he hasn't made an appointment.

0:15:38 > 0:15:42- Just give me back my game. - It's mine! It's yours.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45Mine. We need that for the business. Yeah, we do!

0:15:45 > 0:15:49The old ladies, they love it. You're not having it, unless...

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Unless you answer my question. One of my clever riddles.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55Just hurry up.

0:15:55 > 0:15:59If you'd like to step this way, sir.

0:15:59 > 0:16:03Oh, it's looking lovely. It's very nice. Surprisingly smooth.

0:16:03 > 0:16:07The question. Oh, yes, the question. Going anywhere nice on holiday?

0:16:07 > 0:16:09France.

0:16:11 > 0:16:16Argh! What sort of a question's that?!

0:16:16 > 0:16:19That's what we always ask at hairdressers'. It's nonsense!

0:16:19 > 0:16:22Oh, so cross!

0:16:24 > 0:16:27Come on, Ben. The lasagne's ready.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Meow!

0:16:31 > 0:16:34'Ladies and gentlemen, if you require any refreshments,

0:16:34 > 0:16:37- 'the trolley will now pass through plane.'- Trolley coming through!

0:16:37 > 0:16:40Please make way for the trolley.

0:16:40 > 0:16:44- Excuse me...- Any drinks or snacks for yourselves.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Anything from the trolley? - Excuse me...- Yes.- Yes.

0:16:47 > 0:16:52- What is it? We have to get the trolley through!- I need some lunch.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- Malcolm, what have we got? - Um...

0:16:55 > 0:16:58I'll take this packet of crisps.

0:16:58 > 0:17:04- No. Wait...- Hang on, it's empty! - No, it's full of air,

0:17:04 > 0:17:07- which is very good for you. - No calories.- Have a nice journey.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Trolley coming through.- You must have something. Is that salad?

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Um...yes.

0:17:12 > 0:17:17- Yes. There you go. - This isn't much of a salad.

0:17:17 > 0:17:22It looks like someone's licked the dressing off the lettuce leaves.

0:17:22 > 0:17:26- I'm terribly sorry. - How about a slice of cake?

0:17:26 > 0:17:29I'm afraid we ran out of cake an hour ago.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33- We've been in the air 20 minutes. - We crossed a time zone.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36Peanuts, pretzels... How about a fizzy drink?

0:17:36 > 0:17:40- I don't remember seeing any. Malcolm?- Oh... No.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44You mean to tell me you don't have so much as a cheese sandwich?

0:17:44 > 0:17:45Ah! You're in luck.

0:17:47 > 0:17:52- No, they're all gone.- You don't have any food or drink on this trolley

0:17:52 > 0:17:57- at all?- You people! It's all eat, eat, eat with you!

0:17:57 > 0:18:01All you can think about is filling your greedy faces with our food.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04You ought to try exercising a little self-control!

0:18:04 > 0:18:08Here, I'll take that, thank you. You'll thank me one day.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10We'll split this. Two chunks each.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13Ooh! Double chunkage!

0:18:14 > 0:18:16- GURGLING - Colin, what's happening?

0:18:16 > 0:18:20I think eating that entire wheel of brie just before we took off

0:18:20 > 0:18:23- may have been a mistake. - Oh, Colin. Not again.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Oh, come on. Hop on. This is going to get bumpy.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29Clear the aisle, please, ladies and gentlemen.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32- Keep it in, Colin. - I don't know if I can.

0:18:33 > 0:18:38'Sticky Martin. He's got the stickiest hands in the world.'

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Hmm.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Argh!

0:19:01 > 0:19:03- Hello? - THUNDERCLAP

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Hello! Is this the museum?

0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Am I in the right place? - < Gnng!

0:19:09 > 0:19:13Oh! What are you doing here, sir? It's the middle of the night.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16Who dares wake us from our precious slumber?

0:19:16 > 0:19:19It's half eleven in the morning.

0:19:19 > 0:19:2311.30, he says, as if he doesn't know it's the middle of the night!

0:19:23 > 0:19:26- Can't you hear the owls? - Twit-twoo!

0:19:26 > 0:19:28- And the other owls. - (DEEP VOICE) Twit-twoo!

0:19:28 > 0:19:31That man just said "twit-twoo".

0:19:31 > 0:19:35Of course, you're confused. It's the middle of the night.

0:19:35 > 0:19:40The middle of the night in... The Museum Of Imagination...

0:19:40 > 0:19:43- THEY START SNORING - Yes, that's more like it.

0:19:43 > 0:19:47- Er... Can I see the museum? - ..Of The Imagina...

0:19:47 > 0:19:51- THEY SNORE - I found this flyer in my sandwich.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53- Ah!- Marketing at its very best.

0:19:53 > 0:19:57Well, perhaps, Mr Hilton, you'd like to see round the exhibits.

0:19:57 > 0:20:02- How do you know my name? - We call everyone Mr Hilton.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Sometimes we get lucky. Isn't that right, Mr Hilton?

0:20:05 > 0:20:09- My name's Mr Elevenses.- Curses! Struck out again, Mr Hilton.

0:20:09 > 0:20:14Even though it's so late, we should probably show the nocturnal Mr Hilton

0:20:14 > 0:20:16the exhibits. Walk this way.

0:20:19 > 0:20:24Beneath this cloth lies the head of Poseidon's trident.

0:20:24 > 0:20:28- Poseidon? The god of the sea?- God of the sea, water and earthquakes

0:20:28 > 0:20:33- and brother to Zeus, and under here is his trident.- Trident!

0:20:33 > 0:20:37- That's incredible!- It is the most incredible thing you'll ever see

0:20:37 > 0:20:40in your imagination!

0:20:40 > 0:20:42..Tion... Tion... Tion...

0:20:42 > 0:20:45- THEY SNORE - There's nothing there.

0:20:46 > 0:20:50- THERE'S NOTHING THERE!- Oh!- Did you say something? We fell asleep.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53- What do you expect if you bother us at this time?- Twit-twoo.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57- Even the owls are mocking us! - OK, what else have you got?

0:20:57 > 0:21:01He's insatiable for exhibits! Mr Hilton, come, this way.

0:21:03 > 0:21:09Beneath this lies a cup of water from the Fountain of Eternal Youth.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13- One sip shall make you immortal. - Immortality!

0:21:13 > 0:21:16- For ever.- Right, let's see it.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Indeed you shall. In your imagination!

0:21:19 > 0:21:24- ..Tion... Tion... Tion...- That's it, I'm going.- To bed? Of course!

0:21:24 > 0:21:28- He knows how to get a good night's sleep.- It's the middle of the night.

0:21:28 > 0:21:32In your imagination! ..Tion... Tion... Tion...

0:21:34 > 0:21:36What a shame he's in such a rush.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39Didn't he want to see Pandora's Box?

0:21:41 > 0:21:43SCREAMS AND GHOSTLY SOUNDS

0:21:47 > 0:21:51I wasn't supposed to open that, was I, Mr Elevenses?

0:21:51 > 0:21:55Oh! We'll deal with it in the morning. Good night.

0:21:55 > 0:21:56- Good night. - THEY SNORE

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Mum? Dad?

0:22:00 > 0:22:02I'm off to the match.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Oh, well.

0:22:08 > 0:22:12- Oh! What are you doing there? - We wouldn't let you go to the match

0:22:12 > 0:22:15- without wishing you luck.- Oh, thanks.

0:22:15 > 0:22:19Because you're going to need all the luck you can get.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23- What?- Playing in goal? So many chances to mess up?

0:22:23 > 0:22:26You could easily let a ball roll through those legs.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29You might miss a simple clearance, like so many before you.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Oh no! What have I done?

0:22:31 > 0:22:35But I won't. Mr Salisbury says I'm an excellent goalkeeper.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Really?

0:22:38 > 0:22:42Looks like Mr Salisbury was wrong.

0:22:42 > 0:22:46You're going to let your team down and feel terrible. Really bad.

0:22:46 > 0:22:50There'd be no sympathy. The rest of the team would probably hate you

0:22:50 > 0:22:54- and call you names like Captain Can't Catch.- Or Mr Lets Balls In!

0:22:54 > 0:22:58- Why are you saying these things? - We're trying to protect you, son.

0:22:58 > 0:23:02Save you from messing up and starting a slide into despair,

0:23:02 > 0:23:04which will end up with you living in a bin.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Are you coming to watch?- No.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10We're watching Man U versus Chelsea on the TV.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14Right, well... I guess I'll stay and watch it with you.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17That's the spirit, son. Quit while you're ahead.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19No!

0:23:19 > 0:23:24I'm going to play that match and be the best goalkeeper ever!

0:23:24 > 0:23:25Oh.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Oh! Ridiculously brave.

0:23:29 > 0:23:34If it all goes well, I'll wear a tutu and let you call me Fifi.

0:23:40 > 0:23:44- I'm back!- Oh. How did it go?

0:23:44 > 0:23:47I did the best save anyone's seen ever!

0:23:47 > 0:23:49And I won Goalkeeper of the Year.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53And I've been signed by Real Madrid at £1 million a year.

0:23:53 > 0:23:58But on the way home, I got you this, Dad.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04Nice tutu, Fifi!

0:24:11 > 0:24:15Hello to you. Now, we all know that fruit and vegetables

0:24:15 > 0:24:17are very, very healthy indeed.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Imagine my excitement when I received this letter

0:24:20 > 0:24:24from the Society of Exciting Haircuts in Great Britain.

0:24:24 > 0:24:29It reads, "We, at the Society of Exciting Hairstyles of the UK,

0:24:29 > 0:24:33"wanted to show our appreciation, thanks to your tireless efforts

0:24:33 > 0:24:37- "to use blueberries... - RASPBERRY BLOWS

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- "We have discovered the blueberry... - RASPBERRY BLOWS

0:24:40 > 0:24:46"is a miracle fruit when it comes to glossy and manageable hair.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49"After a strict diet of the fruit in question,

0:24:49 > 0:24:54"we have lustrous, shiny hair, capable of withstanding any style.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57"We simply cannot thank you enough.

0:24:57 > 0:25:01"Yours sincerely, the Society of Exciting Hairstyles in the UK."

0:25:01 > 0:25:03Isn't that wonderful?

0:25:03 > 0:25:07I've invited the chairman of the Exciting Hairstyles Society,

0:25:07 > 0:25:11Marcus Beard, to talk us through his hairstyle.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13Hello, Marcus.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15Hello.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18So, is it true that on a diet of these

0:25:18 > 0:25:23you can double the lustrousness and sheenitude of your hair?

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Yes, that is correct.

0:25:24 > 0:25:28On a diet of blueberries, I've been able to do what I like with my hair,

0:25:28 > 0:25:32which is one of the main aims of the Society of Exciting Hairstyles.

0:25:34 > 0:25:39So there we have it. It's all thanks to the simple, healthy blueberry.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41- RASPBERRY BLOWS - Ah!

0:25:41 > 0:25:44- Oh, crumbs! I only said blueberry. - RASPBERRY BLOWS

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Ve-e-e-e-ery well.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51Will all bakers please stand back from the table?

0:25:51 > 0:25:56The best Cake and Pie Award is about to be announced.

0:25:58 > 0:26:03- Have they done it yet?- They're just about to announce them now.

0:26:03 > 0:26:07- Well, fingers crossed. You deserve this.- Thanks.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10I mean it. All the time you've spent making that pie

0:26:10 > 0:26:16- and the testing and the re-testing. - As you say, fingers crossed.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21- What kind of pie is it again? - It's custard.

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Is it?

0:26:23 > 0:26:27- Why? Is that a problem? - No problem, no.

0:26:30 > 0:26:36Now, Leo Davies, local radio DJ, will commence the judging.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Right, what have we got here, guys?

0:26:52 > 0:26:53Mmm!

0:26:53 > 0:26:56That is delicious!

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Oh!

0:27:04 > 0:27:06W-w-w...

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Y-y-y...

0:27:08 > 0:27:10You need to get...help.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12I'm sorry.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14So, so sorry.

0:27:17 > 0:27:18NOSE SQUEAKS

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Does that help?

0:27:22 > 0:27:24Oh, I'm so sorry. I've lost my dog.

0:27:24 > 0:27:29- He's quite big, white with black spots. Have you seen him?- No, sorry.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32Excuse me, is that your dog there?

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Jasper!

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Now don't you run off like that again, Jasper!

0:27:42 > 0:27:45- Aw! I wasn't finished!- Naughty!

0:27:45 > 0:27:47What?

0:27:47 > 0:27:50Er... Woof! Definitely woof.

0:27:56 > 0:28:01- It's mine! - I'll get you, Philipe La Vavasure!

0:28:01 > 0:28:05- Witch! She's a witch! - Maybe my bees can help.

0:28:05 > 0:28:09- A thousand pounds!- A thousand pounds! - In your imagination!

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd