0:00:20 > 0:00:23SNIFFS
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- Is this the back of the queue? - No, it's the front.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30Good! What is that smell? SNIFFS
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- Don't look at me. - I am looking at you, son.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38What is that stink?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- Silk?- No.- Cotton.- No.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47- Man sweat?- No. It's ice cream. - Well, I haven't had any ice cream.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49You're about to.
0:00:54 > 0:00:59- Can I have some chocolate sauce on that?- Seeing as it's you.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- Thank you very much.- Pleasure.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Now, where's this bus?
0:01:09 > 0:01:14That was brilliant. I've never been to a catching competition before.
0:01:14 > 0:01:19I caught 15 cricket balls, five fish and three escaped criminals!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22All I caught was a cold!
0:01:22 > 0:01:27Oh, well, that's quite difficult because germs are very, very small.
0:01:27 > 0:01:32- That's "nano-catching". It's very tricky.- I feel rubbish.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- SNEEZES - I can't even catch my own sneezes.
0:01:36 > 0:01:41- I've got something that could help you.- Really?- Follow me.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44THUNDER CLAP Mwa-ha-ha! Yes!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Ha-ha-ha! Yes! Yes!
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- Yes...- Hang on.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- Is this one of your mad experiments? - No!
0:01:53 > 0:01:58- Oh, how could you think that? - Well, the hair and the coat.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01And all the... Oh, never mind.
0:02:01 > 0:02:06Behold! Anti-viral serum NCC...
0:02:06 > 0:02:10170...1.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14- It IS one of your mad experiments. - Maybe...a bit.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19- Your experiments always go wrong. - My experiments are excellent!
0:02:19 > 0:02:26What about when you gave me that moustache-growing medicine so I could see that 18 film?
0:02:26 > 0:02:28But it worked, didn't it?
0:02:28 > 0:02:33- It grew a metre every ten minutes! - You looked...great.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36I was a massive ball of moustache hair!
0:02:37 > 0:02:44- It took five hairdressers a whole day to cut me free. - I said I was sorry.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Besides, I've learnt a lot since then.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51This cold remedy is perfectly safe.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55- Really?- It tastes a lot worse than it looks.- You promise?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I promise!
0:02:58 > 0:03:02Promise! Promise! Promise! Promise! Mwa-ha-ha!
0:03:02 > 0:03:07That's a convincing number of promises. I'll try it.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Hang on! I do feel something.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Oops!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25My hands!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Er... That wasn't meant to happen.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33Still, at least you'll be able to catch things properly now.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Ah! Or not.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Er... Sorry?
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Get your apples and oranges! Five for a pound!
0:03:47 > 0:03:52Step up, ladies and gents. All your toys for a fraction of the price!
0:03:52 > 0:03:56- Excuse me.- Yes, mate.- I bought this robot from you the other day.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01- Meglatronic Blaster? - It doesn't work. Lights don't flash.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04When you try to fire the laser... RASPBERRY
0:04:04 > 0:04:09Sounds like it's broken, mate. Sorry. Right, who's...?
0:04:09 > 0:04:13- Hang on. - I got one of them robots off you.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15The head come off.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I lost my head down the back of the cooker!
0:04:18 > 0:04:23- What do you expect me to do?- Give us our money back.- Or a replacement.
0:04:23 > 0:04:29- This is a rubbish robot.- Sorry, fellas. No refunds, no returns.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- This is my nephew's Christmas present!- I bought this for my son.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I bought this for myself.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I bought it for a friend. Carry on.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42If you've got a receipt, I might help.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46- You didn't give me no receipt. - Can't help you, then. Who's next?
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- This is disgraceful!- Yeah. - It's outrageous!- Yeah.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Someone should do something, like...
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Witch! She is a witch!
0:04:56 > 0:04:59CHANTING: Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Witch! Witch! Witch!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Hey!
0:05:16 > 0:05:20I meant someone should write a letter to the council.
0:05:24 > 0:05:30If you want my advice, never lend your clothes to the Incredible Hulk.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Look at the state of me!
0:05:33 > 0:05:37My mum's going to go absolutely bananas.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Right, I'll put the kettle on.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47Oh! Did you put that mouse trap down?
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Yeah. I put one in the dining room last night.
0:05:52 > 0:05:58- It was definitely a mouse trap? - Course! What other traps are there?
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Oh! What have I done? I didn't look at the box properly.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Take it back and get the right one.
0:06:11 > 0:06:16- What's he doing in here, anyway? - Probably just getting out the cold.
0:06:16 > 0:06:21- Take it back and get a mouse trap. - Can't we keep him?- No.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26- Put him outside the back door, please.- But he's really cool!
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Sorry, mate. If it was up to me!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Woah! Three points!
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- I'm SO good! - Yeah, on second thoughts.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38SQUEAKING
0:06:40 > 0:06:45- Do you know where the nearest bus stop is?- No. Ask the man in the car.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Little man! Hello? Little man in your big black car!
0:06:54 > 0:06:58- Yes, ladies.- Hello, my companion and I need to get into town.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- I can take you to town. - How very kind.- Let me help you.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Where exactly in town, ladies?
0:07:05 > 0:07:09We're going to Bradley's to be fitted for bridesmaids' dresses.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13I'm wearing a pink puffball dress with lace knickers.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18And I'm having a crinoline miniskirt with neon green piping. Mad!
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- It's for my nephew's wedding. - When's that?
0:07:21 > 0:07:25- Not for a while. He's 11. - He's not engaged yet. Lazy boy.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30He hasn't asked us to be bridesmaids yet but I'm sure he will.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Best to be prepared, eh?
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Yeah. Bradley's. Is that on Church Street?
0:07:35 > 0:07:39- Absolutely, I think. Yes. - Hop in.- OK.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44I'll go the back way by the supermarket, avoid the roadworks.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Whichever way you choose! It's kind of you to give us a lift.
0:07:48 > 0:07:53- Not many young men would stop to help ladies like us.- It's my job.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58Your job? To give people a lift, driving around in your funny car?
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Are you an eccentric millionaire? - No. I'm a taxi driver.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Waxy slider?- Pixie spider? - Tixie strider?
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- A taxi driver. People pay me to take them where they want.- What?
0:08:09 > 0:08:15Play back on the rewind selector! They pay you actual golden guineas?
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Yes, of course they pay me. You didn't think I did this for fun?
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- That is exactly what I thought. - Nothing's free these days.
0:08:23 > 0:08:29- Apart from the seesaw. - We're not allowed to use that. We're "too big".
0:08:29 > 0:08:32That boy did fly into a tree!
0:08:32 > 0:08:37- This taxington ride will be a pretty penny.- Yes. £10 per mile.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39- Extra for petrol.- Double for wheels.
0:08:39 > 0:08:44A bit on top for windscreen wipers and not falling into a pit.
0:08:44 > 0:08:49- I shouldn't think we'd get much change out of £1,000!- £1,000?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- About £1,000!- It's too much. £1,000!
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Ridiculous.- I won't pay it!
0:08:54 > 0:08:58To be driven round in your funny taxi cabbington.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00No, from here into town it's £4.50.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03- £1,000?- It's too much £1,000!
0:09:03 > 0:09:08- It's absurd.- £1,000? To be trundled into town in your trixie cab?
0:09:08 > 0:09:12I tell you what we'll do. We will buy an exciting helicopter.
0:09:12 > 0:09:17We shall hire an experienced pilot and he will fly us into town!
0:09:17 > 0:09:21I hope a mallard flies in through your window and sits on your head.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24That's a kind of duck.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26I will accept your request!
0:09:38 > 0:09:43MUSIC: "She's So Lovely" by Scouting For Girls
0:10:14 > 0:10:16SHE SCREAMS
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- Hello, Simon. - Hello, headmaster, governor.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43- What have you got to show us? - This is brilliant.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47This is a brand new game guaranteed to please the whole family!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- Very good.- I call this game...
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Fox In The Box.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Inside this box
0:10:56 > 0:11:00is a furious fox.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03The furious fox is wearing one shoe.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06He HATES wearing it.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10It's partly because of the shoe that he's so furious.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12R-right.
0:11:12 > 0:11:17The object of the game is to put your hands in these holes here
0:11:17 > 0:11:20and try to get the shoe from the fox.
0:11:20 > 0:11:25It sounds very entertaining, and the growl from the box is convincing.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28What are you using as a fox?
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- It's a fox. - You've got a real fox in there?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Did I mention that he was furious? - You did, yes.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39OK, who wants to play Fox In The Box?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41SNARLING
0:11:41 > 0:11:45I see. Little bit nervous, that's fine.
0:11:45 > 0:11:50Why don't I have a wee go to start us off? OK, Phil!
0:11:50 > 0:11:51In we go.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Let's get that shoe!
0:11:56 > 0:11:59SNARLING AND GROWLING
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Aargh! Aaaargh!
0:12:05 > 0:12:09- What does the holder of the fox's shoe win?- Aargh!
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Well, they get a pet fox! Aaargh!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Ha-ha-ha! Ow-ow-ow!
0:12:16 > 0:12:20- So, will you let me know? - WHISPERS:- We'll let you know.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26I've been to the moon, but you can't beat the excitement
0:12:26 > 0:12:30of guessing the weight of a fruit cake.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I've been practising for weeks!
0:12:33 > 0:12:38My mum has been baking cakes of every size for me to guess!
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I'm going to say one kilo exactly.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Are you out of your mind?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53That's 903 grams.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- That was brilliant!- What a thrill!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Can I have a go, please?
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Just pick it up and guess the weight.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I would say...
0:13:32 > 0:13:35one kilo 6.5 grams!
0:13:37 > 0:13:40What's the prize? What do I win?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Is it another cake?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53BELL RINGS
0:15:01 > 0:15:05- There's something wrong. - Something's different.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07The food. It smells like...
0:15:07 > 0:15:10ALL: Food!
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Ask her what's going on.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17- No. She'll press the button of doom. - It's not there.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Right. I'm going to talk to her.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22A-herm! Excuse me.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Oh, hello. What can I do for you?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Um... We...wanted some lunch.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30I don't like this!
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Well, what do you fancy?- Um...
0:15:33 > 0:15:36What's your favourite food?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38I like a pepperoni pizza.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Cheese burger?
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Lobster thermador?
0:15:45 > 0:15:50- It looks like you're in luck. - We can have our favourite lunch?
0:15:50 > 0:15:57- No strings attached? - Course. Let me get that for you.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00No strings attached.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05- What's going on? - ALARM BLARES
0:16:05 > 0:16:07But there's plenty of rope!
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- I love April Fool's Day. - It's August 9th.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Shut up!
0:16:30 > 0:16:35That's your new boiler installed. Should work a treat.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39That's a relief, now the weather's getting a bit colder. Hey? Ha-ha.
0:16:39 > 0:16:44Yeah, right. I've set it nice and low for you.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48- I'll make you out an invoice and I'll be on my way.- Hang on.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52Why have you set the heating so low?
0:16:52 > 0:16:56That's probably warm enough at the moment.
0:16:56 > 0:17:01- Have you even turned it on? - Of course I've turned it on.
0:17:01 > 0:17:08- How come that's reading zero and there's a light flashing saying "This boiler is off"?- Er...
0:17:08 > 0:17:12What's going on here? Are you trying to pull a fast one?
0:17:13 > 0:17:17- No.- I know when someone's trying to rip me off!
0:17:17 > 0:17:21I'm not. It's just that it will get quite hot.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25You are not getting a penny until I know this system works.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Unless you want me to call your supervisor.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33I've made a note of your name.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Now, turn the heating on.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38I'll put it on quite low.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49No, no, no. Put it on properly. There.
0:17:49 > 0:17:54It might take a while for the radiators to get up to the warmth...
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Great.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Well, that seems to be in working order.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Probably best if you turn it down again.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Yeah, a bit more.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Bit more.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Bit more.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Great.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Don't suppose you've got a mop and bucket, have you?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25And can you feel this?
0:18:25 > 0:18:29I don't feel a thing. I don't have any control over them.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- Ow!- I've seen this before. You've got surrogate arm syndrome.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37- Oh, no!- It's reasonably common in people of your age.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41- Right. Interesting. Is there any treatment?- Yes.
0:18:41 > 0:18:46Yes. It's an injection in both hands with this massive needle!
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Argh! My arms! Where are my arms?
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Ah. Phew. Thanks, doctor.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Gary, what are you doing here?
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Um...
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Ah, yes.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06This looks like a perfect place to set up camp.
0:19:06 > 0:19:11- It's a bit bleak, isn't it? - Oh, ho. Nonsense.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Breathe in that country air. All weekend, the three of us.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18In a field. Brilliant(!)
0:19:18 > 0:19:23It will be fascinating for Philipe to see some English countryside.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Bof.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Yes. I'll leave you two to put your tents up.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35I'm going to wander back to that farm shop, get us something to eat.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52- Aren't you going to put yours up? - Non.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- What?- You can do it for me. - No way.- Way.
0:19:55 > 0:20:01Also, I want you to give me your sleeping bag in case I get cold.
0:20:01 > 0:20:06That's it. I am going to tell Dad that you can speak English and...
0:20:06 > 0:20:12I managed to intercept the farmer's wife in the lambing shed
0:20:12 > 0:20:15and I've got us a platter of cured meats.
0:20:15 > 0:20:20Oh, well done, Philipe. You've put that up really well.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Oh, you haven't started yours yet.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27No excuses. You're just being lazy. No cured meat for you.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Rien de jambon pour vous, Danny.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35I'm going to get you, Philipe La Vavasure!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Oh, this is fun!
0:20:41 > 0:20:44YAWNS Well, I'm done in.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48- Bed time for me. - Oui. Bon soir, Dennis.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51What?
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Right, I'll see you boys in the morning.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Eh, Danny. You have to give me your sleeping bag.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07- Oh, yes.- Alors! Donnez-moi!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09- Sorry, Philipe.- Merci.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14I'm sure you'll sleep really well.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Since I stuffed it full of stinging nettles.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Ai! Ai-ai-ai!
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Argh!
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Yes! Got you, Philipe La Vavasure!
0:21:30 > 0:21:32The Zombie News Network,
0:21:32 > 0:21:37bringing you zombie news 24 hours a day.
0:21:42 > 0:21:47Style news, and top zombie model, Unknown Female, came a cropper
0:21:47 > 0:21:51when she got her high heel stuck in the catwalk.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56Ever the trouper, she decided the show MUST go on.
0:21:57 > 0:22:05'Emily and Monty Forest, tired of never winning a role in a musical, decided to mount their own show.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09'They decided to write it, direct it, design it and produce it,
0:22:09 > 0:22:11'all on their own.'
0:22:13 > 0:22:19HE SINGS TUNEFULLY: # ..When hope was high and life worth living
0:22:19 > 0:22:23# I dreamed that love would never die... #
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- Amazing. I didn't expect that. - WHISPERS:- I know!
0:22:27 > 0:22:31He's got the most amazing voice.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35But there's a tinsy-winsy little problem.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- What do you mean?- Look.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41- # ..and dreams were made... # - I'll show you.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Er, Mont?
0:22:43 > 0:22:45# There was no ransom...
0:22:45 > 0:22:50SQUEAKY AND TUNELESS: # ..to be paid. #
0:22:50 > 0:22:54- Oh! High five me, Mont! - Happened again, didn't it?
0:22:54 > 0:22:58- It certainly did. - Sounded like a shot fox.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02He can't get a note if he thinks that anyone's watching.
0:23:02 > 0:23:07- What are you going to do?- We will find a way round it. Oh, yes.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10You don't think it'll be a problem?
0:23:10 > 0:23:14What have you done before when he's sung in front of an audience?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16It's never come up.
0:23:16 > 0:23:22Me and the Mr Montyvator are nothing if not resourceful!
0:23:22 > 0:23:26- We're nothing. - We'll find a Forest solution.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29We always do. We're Forests.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Are you looking away? - Yes, Montacus, I am.
0:23:34 > 0:23:39- Do you promise?- Scout's honour. - What about the film crew?
0:23:39 > 0:23:43- We're all looking away. - OK, Montacus, go!
0:23:43 > 0:23:52TUNEFUL AND CLEAR: # The most beautiful sound that I ever heard
0:23:52 > 0:23:56SCREECHES: # Maria! #
0:23:56 > 0:24:00- Are you looking at me?- Yes, we are. - I could tell.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02The voice felt like it wobbled.
0:24:02 > 0:24:08TUNEFUL: # I closed my eyes Drew back the...
0:24:08 > 0:24:10SCREECHES: # ..curtain!
0:24:10 > 0:24:16TUNEFUL: # To see for certain what I thought
0:24:16 > 0:24:19SCREECHES: # ..I knew
0:24:19 > 0:24:20TUNEFUL: # And in the
0:24:20 > 0:24:22SCREECHES: # East
0:24:22 > 0:24:26TUNEFUL: # The dawn was breaking... #
0:24:29 > 0:24:34Methinks me have found a solution to the whole problem.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36- Where's Monty?- He's outside.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- OK, Monty! Go!- OK!
0:24:40 > 0:24:44TUNEFUL: # Mama mia, here I go again... #
0:24:44 > 0:24:50You see, it works if Monty and the audience are in different rooms.
0:24:50 > 0:24:56A director said that to us and I never knew what it meant until now.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58DOG BARKS
0:24:58 > 0:25:02SCREECHES: # ..I'd be broken-hearted...! #
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Sorry. Small dog looked at me.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Who'd have thought? Even animals set me off!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Think we've got what it takes?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Oh, yeah. We've definitely got it.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19SCREECHES: # I'd be broken-hearted
0:25:19 > 0:25:21# My, my... #
0:25:22 > 0:25:25We'll just get your prescription for you.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28- Shouldn't be more than a moment. - Louise?
0:25:28 > 0:25:33- From Oatwood Primary?- That's me. - It's Peter. Er... Pete.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37- I used to sit behind you. - Oh, yes. I remember. How are you?
0:25:37 > 0:25:42- Really good. Thank you. - Oh, good. Wonderful. Wonderful.
0:25:42 > 0:25:47I don't mean to be too forward, but maybe you'd like to go for a coffee?
0:25:47 > 0:25:50- Oh, er...- Louise.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55I am very sorry. You know you needed Itchy Creme for your rashes?
0:25:55 > 0:25:57I'm afraid we're fresh out.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00- Ooh.- Did you need it urgently?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03I tell you what, I will ask Alf.
0:26:03 > 0:26:09- Alf!- Yeah!- Do we have any Itchy Creme on the shelves?
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- Itchy Creme? That's bum cream, isn't it?- Yes.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17- Do we have any tubes of BUM cream on the shelves?- I'll have a look.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Bum cream! Bum cream!
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Bum cream!
0:26:21 > 0:26:24So, um...about that coffee?
0:26:24 > 0:26:28Alf, it says here she needs six big tubes!
0:26:28 > 0:26:32- Blimey! That's a lot of bum cream. - It is.- Oh, dear.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Um, still fancy that coffee, or...?
0:26:39 > 0:26:41No.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Is this the Office of International World Records?
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Yes. You come here every day.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53I know! I know I do! That's where I recognise you from!
0:26:53 > 0:26:57I've come to break the world record for the longest handstand.
0:26:57 > 0:27:02Sally, world's longest handstand record, please?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- Have you got any biscuits?- No. - PHONE RINGS
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Yes? ..Thank you, Sally.
0:27:10 > 0:27:15The world's longest handstand is one day, 17 hours and 20 seconds.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Ah! Nothing! Got that beat!
0:27:17 > 0:27:22Here we go. I've been doing this for years.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Hm. Huey! Huey!
0:27:24 > 0:27:29Here we go. Right... Oh. Give me a second.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33- Have you ever done a handstand? - Yes, I have. Yes. Twice.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Not on my hands, per se.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Here we go. Right.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Are you ready?
0:27:40 > 0:27:43One, two, three...
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Aargh!
0:27:45 > 0:27:47How was that? How long?
0:27:47 > 0:27:51- One second.- What's the record? - One day, 17 hours and 20 seconds.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53So close!
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Can you help me up?
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:58 > 0:28:00E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:28:00 > 0:28:04I'll get you, Philipe La Vavasure!
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Witch! She's a witch!
0:28:06 > 0:28:10- Maybe my bees can help. - Your imagination!
0:28:10 > 0:28:12- £1,000!- £1,000!