0:00:02 > 0:00:05Welcome to Splatalot, where twelve plucky attackers
0:00:05 > 0:00:07bravely prepare to have a big scrap
0:00:07 > 0:00:09with the dreaded defenders of Castle Splat.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12At stake, the Crown of Splatalot.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Will the defenders keep their castle safe from invaders?
0:00:17 > 0:00:21Or will the younglings successfully gatecrash the Splatalot party?
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Who will tumble? Who will tilt?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27who will teeter and who will go...
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Spla-a-at!
0:00:29 > 0:00:33- I'm Dom.- And he's Dick. No, I'm Dom!- That's what I said.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35No, I'm Dom. You're Dick.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Oh, honestly, keep your knick-knacks on!
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Welcome to Splatalot, the hyper-splatty medieval mother
0:00:40 > 0:00:43- of all mess fests. - Yes, this is how it works.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47In round one, all 12 attackers take on the merciless moat.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50The quickest six will then try to survive the stockade.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54With the fastest four then competing to capture just one crown.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58So, as it all starts in the moat, let's take a closer look.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- The attackers start on the baffling barrels.- More off than on.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05The slippery slope and the terrifying rolling maze.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- Splatzooka alert! - Then onto the impossible incline
0:01:08 > 0:01:09and beastly battle-axes.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12The bridge of disaster and the water cannon of wetness.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16After that, one perilous pole-vault to finish the course.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20And making the attackers' lives even splattier, the defenders.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24We've got weapons master Tinkor and his impressive Splatzooka.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Skabb and his mighty club.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Ska-a-abb!
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- And...- I am Thorne.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Yes, Thorne and his lovely feather boa.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35He-he, give it your best!
0:01:35 > 0:01:39You'll fail like the rest! Ha-ha!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Ye-e-eah!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Absolutely the finest defenders
0:01:43 > 0:01:46a fairly limited amount of money can buy.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Remember, the aim is for the attackers to speed round the moat
0:01:49 > 0:01:51and for the defenders to slow them down.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53At least they haven't got Gildar to deal with.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Yeah, he's pretty impressive. - What? Gildar?!
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Look at him! No, I mean they haven't got to deal with Gildar,
0:02:00 > 0:02:03boring them to tears with how great he thinks he is.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05He's just a puffed-up, fluffy ball of nonsense!
0:02:05 > 0:02:09- I don't think you'd say any of that to his face, would you?- Yes, I would.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Hello...oh!
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Ah!
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Well, now's your chance, my less handsome little friend,
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Please, what was that again?
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Oh, yes. Well, Mr Gildar, sir... You see,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23a fluffy ball of nonsense where I come from
0:02:23 > 0:02:25is the highest compliment...Ah!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Oh, well, all right then.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Enough with the formalities. No need to kneel, stand.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- I am standing.- What's that?
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- I can't hear you down there. - Let's get back to the course.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38The defenders reject traditional methods of castle defence
0:02:38 > 0:02:40like boiling oil and arrows
0:02:40 > 0:02:44- for splatballs and water cannons. - Here's our first attacker, Kyle.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47I can read your mind!
0:02:47 > 0:02:49I've read Kyle's hobbies. Does he hunt turkeys?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Yep, hunts turkeys
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Splash barrels, sometimes...
0:02:54 > 0:02:57..turkey barrels
0:02:58 > 0:03:01There he is, on the slope.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Have your mind filled with slime!
0:03:03 > 0:03:05How will you do that, Tinkor?
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Oh, that's how you're going to do that. Ripping!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Kyle makes it to the maze.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Noodlebox!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Tink takes a shot, Kyle takes it well,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21and takes a header into the moat. Thought he'd made it.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- So near...- And yet so beef chowdered. On the beastly battle-axes,
0:03:24 > 0:03:28- facing up to Scabb on the cannon. - # Attacker's keep on coming
0:03:28 > 0:03:30# Scabb keeps on sliding. #
0:03:30 > 0:03:32He makes it! Whodathunk?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Oh, hammer-sack! He gets back up and stays on the bridge.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40Scabb really gives his all when it comes to the water cannon.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44But Kyle really gives his all when it comes to the...foofadiddle!
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Foofadiddle?
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Foofadiddle. But despite that, Kyle scores a very respectable 5:39.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52I'm better than Chuck Norris. Ha!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- Chuck who?- You know, Chuck Norris.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00- Like Mrs Norris, but not a cat.- Ah! Wizard.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Here goes our high-kicking karate champ.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Bompaday! Hi-i-iya!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- Take that! - Craftier than a couple of cobras,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- mightier than a moustache...- What?
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- ..but she splatted like a sea-monkey. - Sea-monkies don't look like...
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Shh! She's on the mace.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- Here's a slimeball for ya! - He can talk!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20And he can splat at the same time.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Tressa's into the plunge.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Tressa's holding her nose. - Just in case it falls off.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Can Scabb prevent Tressa from finishing?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- Show her who's boss! - It's not you, Thorne.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Tressa leaps and...well... - Other way, other way!
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Surprisingly good advice from Scabb, there.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40This will encourage you a bit!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42He's just like my old PE teacher.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44- No-o! - Tough luck, Scabby-pants!
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Tressa's made it to the time of 6:40..
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Here's our next attacker, Corey.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53I'm going to own this castle!
0:04:53 > 0:04:57- When you do, can you fix the boys' bogs?- They're pretty splatty.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Bug-squish! Hang on, give that back, you.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Them's expensive!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- Margate!- I'd like you to say that again.- M-m-margate!
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Corey lying low on the slippery slope. Can he ride high on the maze?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Try this on for size!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- Skimpton!- And Corey finds out one size splats all.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Although you have to admit, that is a great shot from the blue-faced boy.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22A direct splat and Corey goes down into the lazy Susan.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24What's pink, quick and found in moat water?
0:05:24 > 0:05:28- I don't know, what's pink, quick and found in moat water?- Tamara!
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- I'm going to slime you all! - Please don't.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Wow, Tamara got there fast. Maybe she needs to slo-o-ow do-o-own.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- You wally! It's a time trial. - Oh, yes. Go, go, go!
0:05:40 > 0:05:44She's flailing, flailing...and bailing.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Tamara goes down like a tripped-up toddler.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Tamara and Corey finish the course with respectable times.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Woo-hoo!- Maha's up next.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55I can fly!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- What? That's not fair! - I think there's a possibility
0:05:58 > 0:06:01she may be bluffing. Here she goes.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Oh, fossett pouch!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Splat!
0:06:05 > 0:06:08So, it's a fossett pouch from me and a creepy splat from him.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Here's Maha on the incline and...she makes it!
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Into the Doo-wok.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16Maha drops and then the axe gives her the chop-a-lot.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Now she's on the bridge. Ooh!
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Holding on, despite a nasty drenching.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Hey, I love the colour of your helmet, by the way.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Ooh, Scabb's showering Maha with compliments as well as scum!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32It's not, "Woo-hoo!" It's "Rarr!"
0:06:32 > 0:06:37- As in, "Wha-a-at's he like?" - And there she dippy-doos.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40We have the answer to the "can Maha really fly?" question.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- It's a no.- Dippy-don't!
0:06:42 > 0:06:45And Maha lands a final time of 9:43.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48I drink melted cheese!
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Is that part of a calorie controlled diet?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- Here's Nathan on the mace. - And off the mace!
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- A depressingly familiar phrase. - Thorne take aim, fires...Yarmouth!
0:06:56 > 0:06:59And the cheese guzzler gets the cat-flap.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- So, you the guy that's here for the crown?- Yeah.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06You're here for the crown? You're not the water inspector guy?
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Come on, guys, cut the chat! Bomb-weasel!
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Despite the chatting, Nathan gets a splatting.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15- He finishes with 6:15.- That's not a victory dance, Nathan Bomb-weasel!
0:07:15 > 0:07:18With six attackers down, our leaderboard looks like this.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22Gildar leads with a perfect time. He's radical, stupendous, and...
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Hang on, what's that Viking slimeball been up to?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- Another one of your charming compliments?- Argh!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30So, will anybody be able to beat, er...
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Perfect, Radical or Stupendous in the second half?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35I doubt it.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41So, Mr Gildar. What do you think of the attackers in the first half?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- Attackers?- Yeah, atta... Ah! Attackers.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47You know, brave young warriors who come to do battle,
0:07:47 > 0:07:50beat the defenders and claim the Splatalot crown?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- You know, stars of the show? - You know...
0:07:53 > 0:07:55You're almost amusing.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59But I think it's fairly obvious who the real star of the show is.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- I can't put up with this much longer!- Easy, Dom.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- Don't do yourself an injury. - Can we see my leaderboard again?
0:08:04 > 0:08:09- Perfect.- Yes, lovely. Here's the attackers leaderboard.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Tamara is in first place,
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Maha is in trouble.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- Right, that's it.- Easy! Let's see how the next six do.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Ah, Thorne picking out targets. Tinkor picking out boogers.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Oh, that's disgusting!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- And here's Scabb, picking his moment...- To look a bit constipated.
0:08:24 > 0:08:29- Here's Hazel. - I'm a sumo wrestler in Japan! Ha!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31BOTH: Ha!
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Sumo wrestler, my big toe! I suspect Hazel's fibbing.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Pus-rudder!
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Although she is wrestling with those barrels.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- Here she comes!- Pus-rudder!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Here we go! - Double pus-rudder!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- Hazel's well-spoken for an invader.- More pus-rudders!
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Mate, that's all you've said so far this round.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Well, she keeps pus-ruddering. What can I do?
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Hazel there, crossing the axes on her booty.- Booty pus-rudder!
0:08:59 > 0:09:05Mm, an unusual approach but the usual result. Care to add anything, Dom?
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Pus-rudder!
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Come on!
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Onto the rope bridge of disaster and she's going well despite a drenching.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Ooh, what's this wobbling?
0:09:14 > 0:09:18- Pus...- Oh, shut up! With a time of 12:56,
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Hazel splats out of the competition.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I can fly!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- Yeah, mate. We've heard that one before.- Oof!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Flying into the moat won't convince us...
0:09:27 > 0:09:28DUCKS HONK
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Not even if you add some bird sound effects.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Jacob heading towards the terrifying rolling mace
0:09:34 > 0:09:36and heading into the Kootchanoo!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Well, it was an A for effort.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Jacob tried to hold on, but like everyone else,
0:09:41 > 0:09:43- the mace beats him. - The whole course beats him.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Jacob calls it a day and does not finish.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52- Now, what's keen, green and sinks like a submarine?- Oh, not again!
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- I don't know. What?- Colleen!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- I'm six feet tall!- No, you're not.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00She is halfway round, though.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03They're axes, not ponies. Come on.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Ignore the nasty barbarian, Colleen. Just take your time.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09You can get your splat exactly right.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I'm sorry to say, with that time, bye-bye!
0:10:11 > 0:10:12Here's Andrea.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15What's her claim to fame going to be?
0:10:15 > 0:10:16I can breathe fire!
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- Unlikely! - Scabb's taking no chances, though.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Come on, Scabb! Shower time!
0:10:23 > 0:10:27- Speaking of showers, I think you need one!- Tink's never had a shower!
0:10:27 > 0:10:29No point starting now.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Run, jump, dive!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Andrea, choosing a fourth option.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Fascinating, but doomed!
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- Splat!- Right, thank you, Tink.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Andrea tries again from a different angle.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45Most people go up and over.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48- Andrea's going round and down. - An interesting technique.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Like she's exercising.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54A one, and a three, and a four, and a...splat!
0:10:54 > 0:10:58And with that time, Andrea is out. Maha's time is proving hard to beat.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I can bench-press this castle! Waah!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Yes, John. Whatever that means.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07John makes his way up onto the rolling mace.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Mm, look at that focus! And he's off and...and...
0:11:11 > 0:11:15Excellent work on the mace. The first to cross today...
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Ooh, splat! And splat again!
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Woo-hoo!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22He slipped down, then smacked down, then splatted down.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24I'm down with that!
0:11:26 > 0:11:29John putting in a strong performance on the beastly battle-axes.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Ooh, ball-cock!
0:11:30 > 0:11:34- Extraordinary!- Don't joke. He's doing his best out there, OK?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Yes, doing his best splat!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Now, now, Dick.- Look, ball-cock!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42And John's over the finish line. With 5:19, he's through
0:11:42 > 0:11:44and knocks out Maha.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Here's our final attacker, Carly.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48I hate warm cheese!
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Finally! An attacker who speaks the truth!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Look at Carly go, she's on the bridge!- Come on!
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Encouragement from Scabb, how nice!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Oh, a rainbow. Was that because of Scabb?
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Do you want me to stop? I'll stop for you.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- No! Ha-ha! - No, never trust an evil barbarian!
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Carly leaps - smacko!
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Ooh, that's got to hurt.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Do you think she got shoved by Scabb's evil rainbow of doom?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15That thought hadn't crossed my mind.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19And Carly's through with 4:22, knocking out Corey.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23That's the moat challenge. Let's look at our advancing six attackers.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25John, Carly, Nathan, Tressa, Kyle
0:12:25 > 0:12:27and Tamara have all made it through.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- And now here's the other leaderboard.- What?!- Go with it.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Yes, Dick and Dom stay on for
0:12:32 > 0:12:34the rest of the show, Gildar doesn't.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- What do you mean, doesn't finish? - Well, Mr Gildar, sir.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41I know this may come as a shock, but you've actually got a split end.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43What? Ah! Oh!
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Someone's getting fired!
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- Brilliant!- Yes, I have my moments. Let's take a peak at the next round.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Double the splats, double the slime, double the goo
0:12:52 > 0:12:56and no moat water to wash it all away. It can only be the stockade.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Ah, the stockade! Splattier than the grand final
0:13:01 > 0:13:04of the World Zit Squeezing Championships.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Slimier than shoving your hand up an elephant's trunk.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09And elephant with a cold.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Soppier and wetter than soppy, wet Dick
0:13:13 > 0:13:15after a soppy, wet movie.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Foamier than Dom's mouth when he's really mad
0:13:17 > 0:13:19about running out of biscuits.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Gungier than gungey Dick's stupid, gungey face!
0:13:22 > 0:13:25More slippery than...than.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- Shall we stop this?- Yes. I think it's for the best. Speaking of which,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31here are six attackers with the best times.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35They'll now use their unique talents to try and escape the stockade.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Ah, the stockade. Where the defenders take the high ground
0:13:39 > 0:13:43and get to hurl slime, foam and ridiculously poor insults
0:13:43 > 0:13:45at the valiant attackers below.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Like you tiny, puny, weeny manbot!
0:13:48 > 0:13:52Or you lanky, planky, big-nosed twonk!
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Like that.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57To escape the stockade, the attackers must release themselves
0:13:57 > 0:13:59from the wheel of certain doom.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Then grab rungs of uneven sizes to build ladders.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04All under heavy splattage from above.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06They'll have to take one of four flags from the top
0:14:06 > 0:14:09of the wheel to the top of the ladders.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11All that to earn a spot in the final.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- Although, to be fair, it will be more of a splat in the final.- Indeed!
0:14:15 > 0:14:17But we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Back to the stockade, it's time to meet our next three defenders.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Ballista!
0:14:22 > 0:14:24The annoying archer with attitude.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- I am Crocness!- Not sure what she is.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- Ah, but she's a blue ninja.- Shaiden!
0:14:31 > 0:14:34- You think you're worthy! - ALL: Let's see what you've got!
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Look out, attackers. These defenders mean business.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Crocness, kicking things off by foaming the attackers.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44That's Nathan in navy, Tressa in sky-blue and Tamara in coral.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48With Carly in magenta, Kyle in olive and orange,
0:14:48 > 0:14:49and John in a delicate violet.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Ha! Nathan laughing off the sickening swirl
0:14:52 > 0:14:55of the wheel of certain doom there. I wonder if he'll be laughing
0:14:55 > 0:15:00after the defenders let loose their slimy onslaught?
0:15:00 > 0:15:01SIREN BLARES
0:15:01 > 0:15:03They're off! It's a foam fest!
0:15:03 > 0:15:06You don't want to mess with the ladies in the castle!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Ooh, Tressa's first to find out why what is.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Because they'll make you all mucky, that's why.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Crocness making the mother of all messes today. Carly climbing up.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Ooh, Kyle gets wiped out!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19A mighty splat down
0:15:19 > 0:15:22for the plucky turkey hunter.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- Let's go!- Tamara's got a rung,
0:15:24 > 0:15:25but she can't hang on.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29Yes, the annihilating arm annihilated her arm.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31There's a lot of annihilating going on today.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34John and Tressa, also getting annihilated,
0:15:34 > 0:15:36but John getting a rung.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Ballista, blasting bonces like she's bonkers.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43- That's enough to make you blink. - Down goes Kyle!
0:15:43 > 0:15:47- Uh-oh!- Ooh, grenades!- Oh, yeah! - Hang on, ninja lady. You missed!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Yes, no gleeful celebrations until you splat someone.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Hey, attackers! Get this!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Why did the chicken cross the road?
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Well, they look gripped. Tell us, then! Come on!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00To get a splat! Ha-ha!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- Seriously?- It's funny!
0:16:04 > 0:16:06The chicken and the...? Oh!
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- You know, she really ought to leave the jokes to us.- OK, then.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13But why did the chicken cross the road?
0:16:13 > 0:16:14Back to the course!
0:16:14 > 0:16:17- I don't get it. - No, I mean back to the course.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Look! John's got another rung.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Shaiden sticking to cruelly sliming the attackers
0:16:23 > 0:16:26instead of trying to amuse them.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30John's got his last rung in place.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34- And Kyle's got a load of foam on his face.- John's grabbing the first flag.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Victory will soon be his!
0:16:36 > 0:16:39He's climbing the ladder.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Yeah!- And he's through to the final!
0:16:41 > 0:16:47Kyle's rolling down the wheel, but look out! Here comes Tamara.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Three flags left, Carly's one rung from the top.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53And a very foamy Nathan isn't too far behind.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Shaiden decides it's time for some slime.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Say hello to my water cannon!
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Do we have to? I barely say hello to Dick.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Charming(!) Tamara taking another hit there from the annihilating arm.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07And now foamy Nathan is reaching for the top.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Yes, he's got the second flag!
0:17:10 > 0:17:14Ooh, he's sliding down for a last foamy wallow. Oh, how nice!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Shaiden steps in for a face blast.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21- Oh, she's gooing great guns! Get it? Because she's on the goo gun?- Mm.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24The ninja can't stop Nathan. He's through to the final.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25Woo!
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Meanwhile, Tressa's at the top, going for a flag.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31And she snags it!
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Shaiden goos Tressa,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35but it's goo little, goo late.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Tressa makes the battlements and the final.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- Woo!- And she celebrates in style!
0:17:40 > 0:17:43One flag left! Who wants it the most?
0:17:43 > 0:17:46I'd have thought our fastest attacker Carly
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- would've liked to get it. - Hence the strolling?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Woah, Kyle!
0:17:50 > 0:17:54That was an absolute mega-splat.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56That has to be splat of the day.
0:17:56 > 0:18:01- But Kyle's not put off. - Maybe he should be. Squamingo!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Tamara's going for the flag, climbing the ladder
0:18:04 > 0:18:06and Tamara is the final finalist!
0:18:06 > 0:18:09And just like splat, it's all over!
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Shaiden's shamed. - And cheese-hating Carly
0:18:12 > 0:18:16and turkey-hunting Kyle are tamed.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20So after a splat-filled stockade, our four finalists are...
0:18:22 > 0:18:25All determined to lay their hands on the crown.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Or get severely splatted trying.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33What a fantastic round!
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Yes, the attackers have out-splatted themselves today.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Speaking of which, Dom, I will give you a lovely prize
0:18:39 > 0:18:42if you can remember the battle cries of our four finalists.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- Easy!- Whilst wrestling this bloke in a bear costume!- What?- Come on.- Ah!
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Ah! I'm better than Chuck Norris!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- Good.- I'm going to slime you all!
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- Yes?- Ooh! I drink melted cheese!
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- That's three.- Ah! I'm going to bench-press this castle!- That's it!
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Stop, you've done it. Thank you Mr Bear, marvellous stuff, goodbye.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07That was great, so where's my prize?
0:19:07 > 0:19:11There you go. So let's put some faces to those battle cries.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13We've got Tamara, Tressa, Nathan and John.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16So close to the crown, they can almost taste it.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17Pfft! Yuck.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21Let's hope crown tastes better than splat.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Hoping to stop them finding out are the defenders,
0:19:24 > 0:19:25deranged, medieval desperadoes
0:19:25 > 0:19:28or security guards, depending how you look at them.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31I prefer to look at them with my eyes closed.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34As it's the final, all six will take part.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38And this is what they'll be defending. The final challenge.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40They start with a pole drop into the funky foam.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44Tackle the teeters whilst avoiding the defender's fire.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Cross the barrier, leap over lily pads
0:19:46 > 0:19:50and scale the water wall to claim their crown of Splatalot.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52# Ole, ole, ole, ole... #
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Oh no, not the singing.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58ALL: # Ole, ole, ole... #
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Ignore it.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02That's Tamara in the coral, Tressa in teal,
0:20:02 > 0:20:04- Nathan in navy. - And John in what Dom calls
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- a delicate violet.- Shush!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09And they're off! Splat as you mean to go on.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12The defenders lay out the welcome splats.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14- But the attackers charge forward. - John first onto
0:20:14 > 0:20:17the titanic teeters and Nathan's not far behind.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Ooh, John's gone!
0:20:19 > 0:20:23The titanic teeters have claimed their first teeny, tiny victim.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27Shaiden's showering the attackers and she takes Tamara down.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Moving onto Tressa.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Codswallop!
0:20:31 > 0:20:35- Ooh, it's raining attackers out there!- And water, obviously.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Hey, attacker.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Look, I see you got by the ninja,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42but that's not difficult.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Cheeky!- Now you're on with the real defender.- Very cheeky!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Come on, John! Oh!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Look, Scabb's rainbow of doom is back.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- See, there's another rainbow splat. - Tamara this time.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Oh, yeah!
0:20:54 > 0:20:57John up onto the barrier. Ballista, leave him alone!
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Oh, she heard you. She takes out Nathan instead,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03leaving John to advance.
0:21:03 > 0:21:08Scabb's looking unhinged. He does it so well!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- Adios la splatla! - That was Spanish, language fans!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Scabb is like a unicorn.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Rare and nice!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18That was just gibberish. Right, Tamara?
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Oops, you've been splatted, again.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22It's not a crime to slime.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Thorne's trying to outdo Scabb.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- What a thing that was. - Now Thorne with a load of nonsense.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31- Anyway, back to Tressa. - Yep, she's onto the barrier.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34The defenders are trying to hold John back.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Tressa's the only attacker who can catch John.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39John's struggling.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Tressa's got both her feet on the barrier
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- and prepares for the leap. - Lily splat!
0:21:45 > 0:21:49What an amazing feat of lily pad landage that was.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Oh, and after all that, she slides off.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54John's jumping. He needs to get both elbows on the platform
0:21:54 > 0:21:56for it to count. Can he do it?
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Yes!
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- Watch this, Albert.- Albert?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Her vicious crocodile sidekick is called Albert?
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- John's close. - Nathan's getting...well, wetter.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10John's closing in on the crown. Looks like it's all over!
0:22:10 > 0:22:14And it is! John claims the crown of Splatalot.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16You might want to take the helmet off.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Someone tell Nathan it's all over.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23I am the king of Splatalot!
0:22:23 > 0:22:26John is triumphant and, as usual, the defenders aren't.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Great final!
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- All hail King John, the... What is it now?- The 37th.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Right, I'll check that later. But now, let's see the Splat Of The Day.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Today's fine offering comes courtesy of Kyle the turkey hunter.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44He hunted down the mace, but then flew off it
0:22:44 > 0:22:47like a Christmas turkey.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48TURKEY GOBBLES
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Let's take a look back at King John's journey to the crown.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Inclined towards greatness at the start...
0:22:58 > 0:23:00He accelerated into the moat later on.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Second fastest in the first round,
0:23:03 > 0:23:05John was first fastest in the second.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08He took a while to find his feet in the final.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09But his elbows delivered,
0:23:09 > 0:23:13and he was soon having a right royal knees-up with the crown in hand.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16We'll see King John for the flag raising ceremony
0:23:16 > 0:23:19in just a minute, but before we go, there's just time to...
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Just time to thank everyone for watching my show.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24You know, it's an honour and a privilege
0:23:24 > 0:23:26for you to witness my presence here today.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Sadly, I won't be hosting the show next time,
0:23:29 > 0:23:31but it's best, I think, to leave you wanting more.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34So, I'll leave you in the less than capable hands
0:23:34 > 0:23:36of my two little monkey boys.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Back to King John in the tower!- Bye!
0:23:39 > 0:23:42- Urgh!- I told you guys I could bench-press this castle!
0:23:42 > 0:23:45I still don't know what he's talking about.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47# I'm the king of the castle... #
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Oh, Gildar, let go!
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:23:54 > 0:23:56E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk