0:00:02 > 0:00:03Welcome to Splatalot!
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Where a dozen young warriors, brave and true, go head to head
0:00:06 > 0:00:09with those dastardly defiant defenders
0:00:09 > 0:00:13as they strive to capture the much treasured, Splatalot crown.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14CLANK!
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Will the defenders preserve their kingdom
0:00:17 > 0:00:21or will the attackers take over the castle and reign victorious?
0:00:21 > 0:00:24- I see a smile, Master Skabb.- Arr!
0:00:24 > 0:00:26So, who will tumble, who will tilt,
0:00:26 > 0:00:30- who will teeter and who will go...- SPLAT?!
0:00:30 > 0:00:32OOMPH!
0:00:32 > 0:00:35- Hello!- We are your hosts,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Dick and Dom and we'd like to transport you
0:00:37 > 0:00:41to a mystical medieval place where anything can happen.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Yes, welcome to Splatalot!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46We begin with 12 attackers, they will compete in our moat challenge
0:00:46 > 0:00:49but only the six fastest will make it through the first round.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Those six will then go head-to-head in the Stockade
0:00:52 > 0:00:54but only four will escape.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56They will go on to compete in the grand final
0:00:56 > 0:00:59and one of them will succeed in capturing the crown.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Now, the attackers aren't the only stars of the show.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Yes, but let's not talk about ourselves?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07I'm not. I'm talking about the splats!
0:01:07 > 0:01:11So, I've decided that we need to measure them with this.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- It's a splat-o-meter.- I like it! - Hands off! It's mine.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Here's Round One in more detail.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Welcome to the Splatalot moat!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Expect splatting on the baffling barrels!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Then it's up the slope and across the rolling mace.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27The splatzooka will be firing at all times!
0:01:27 > 0:01:31The impossible incline is next, so, expect more splats,
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- before the beastly battle-axes do their worst!- They're nasty!
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Overlooking the battle-axes is the water cannon,
0:01:37 > 0:01:40which will also be taking aim across the bridge of disaster.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41The perilous pole vault
0:01:41 > 0:01:44stands between the attackers and the finish.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Also standing between them are today's defenders.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Remember, we don't feed them on a tournament day!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52In Round One, we've nabbed Skabb.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Have lots of fear! Skabb is here!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Next, is the ever so naughty but never nice, Knightriss.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Finally, here's Ballista with some words of encouragement.
0:02:01 > 0:02:07- You don't stand a chance against us! - Against us!- Yeah!
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Don't you love Skabb? Here's our first attacker, Ellie.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12I've finished elementary school!
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Whoo!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17How about a new education, my dear?
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Straight in with an evil put-down. Oh, bat up, Your Knightriss!
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- The put-down leads to a fall down. - Quite an education for any attacker.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27I'm sure she's a quick learner though.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- Well, she's taking her time now. - Skabb is nice.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- I'll let you get to the top. - But he hasn't!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- Skabb always lies. - Impress me, Master Skabb.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39Whilst the defenders chat, Ellie gets on with it. Ooh! Fatty tongue!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41If getting on means falling off,
0:02:41 > 0:02:43she's definitely getting on with it.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46The first impossible incline of the day...
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Beefy ban-obo!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- Oop, too far!- Even Skabb grasps what went wrong there.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54If you're too fast then you won't last.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Don't write her off, this looks much better on the battle-axes. Oop!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Take that back. It doesn't. - What do you call that?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03A costume malfunction?
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Oh, ho-ho! Her shoe! You lost your shoe!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Amongst her warrior skills, should she include stating the obvious?
0:03:10 > 0:03:15- Don't be cheeky.- Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, she's sort of smelly!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17That rhyme is a little bit witty too.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20Oh, and that moat's a bit pongy as well.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Gets into your pits and everywhere! Look!
0:03:23 > 0:03:27May be the stench of defeat. I doubt her time of ten minutes will cut it.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Maybe we'll see you later, Ellie.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Here's our next attacker, Amy.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I'm cold!
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Well, you're wet now too.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Here she goes...oh, Abergavenny!
0:03:38 > 0:03:41I think you can tell early on if someone's going to do well.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- I take it you mean Amy's in trouble then?- Bye, Amy!
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Where are you, my dear? We're waiting!
0:03:46 > 0:03:49That doesn't sound good. We'll check back on Amy later
0:03:49 > 0:03:52because our next attacker is about to start.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Here is Sam!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Oly, oly, oxen free!
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- He's at the mace roll. - Just think about running!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02That's funny, Skabb telling someone what to think.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05It's worked, he's over the mace, over the incline...
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- Oh, peshwari naan jalfrezi! - Here it is again.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Peshwari naan jalfrezi!
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Here he is, back on the battle-axes.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14- BANG! - Oh!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16This one's getting away! Quickly, quickly.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19You got by my friends but you're not getting by me!
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Well, plenty of chatting but not much splashing for the defenders
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- and Sam's now on the pole vault! - WHACK!
0:04:25 > 0:04:29You can always rely on this course to slow the attackers down.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31But Sam's time is excellent
0:04:31 > 0:04:33and we were wrong to write off Amy.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36With some lightning times to beat, here's our next attacker, Emily.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40A bass player sweat on me!
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Lovely. I think it's just water though, Emily.- Hope so.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45I'll show you what I have,
0:04:45 > 0:04:50- a weapon of mass-splataction! - Ah!- Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Is Knightriss laughing with him or at him?- Emily's not laughing...
0:04:53 > 0:04:56His humour might be off target but his aim is true.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Will that put Emily off? - Don't be scared.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03- Be extremely terrified!- Boom! - BANG!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07She's brave taking on the defenders but it usually ends in tears.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10As you always say, don't talk back or you'll go Norris.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12I never said Norris.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Emily like all the rest, struggling on the incline. Oop!
0:05:15 > 0:05:18First she lands on her knees, then she lands...
0:05:18 > 0:05:20in the muck-splat. Textbook.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Will it be a textbook round for our next attacker, Caitlin?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26I love tacos!
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Does she love rolling maces though?
0:05:29 > 0:05:32The answer is YES! Brilliant! How did she manage to hold on?
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- There's a rope. She used the rope. - I don't mean literally.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Caitlin now on the incline and she's literally in the water!
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- Look, she surfed down.- Yes, it's literally like there's a surf...
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Will you stop messing with the graphics?!
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- Now, can Caitlin get back on course? - Oop, that's a big fat resounding no!
0:05:48 > 0:05:52One, two, three, four, five separate splats on the way down there.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55You know what that means? Our first splatastic on the splat-o-meter.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Ahhh!
0:05:57 > 0:05:59That's a pretty splatastic time from Caitlin.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Although Emily might be in the danger zone.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Here's attacker number six, Kyle.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Narwhals!
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- Narwhal?- Yes, narwhal, it's a whale.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11OK, here's your chance. Draw a narwhal.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14There's tusks, flippers...a narwhal.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15That was actually quite good.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Are you scared of me? I'm scared of me when I look in the mirror.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- BANG! - Oh, lovely shot!
0:06:21 > 0:06:26And a replay. Dundee! Skabb, scary and skilful with his splatzooka.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Kyle's doing well on the mace. He's the first to survive the incline.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Release her! This one's quick!
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Come on, Kyle, show me how quick you are!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37That's how quick. Kyle makes it over the battle-axes.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Is this going to be a splat-free round?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41He's only got the pole vault to go!
0:06:41 > 0:06:42Oh...kee-nuch!
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Kyle was in danger of making this round look too easy.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49It's still the fastest time so far, 2:10!
0:06:49 > 0:06:50Yes, I made it!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52We'll be seeing you later.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54See if you're worthy of the crown!
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Kyle's got the defenders worried.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57So, half way through.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58Here are the times.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59The top three finished
0:06:59 > 0:07:01in under three minutes.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02Ellie's ten minutes
0:07:02 > 0:07:04is looking far from safe.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Ellie, it hurts to say it but you are in the danger zone.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09But nothing's guaranteed.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Even Kyle isn't safe yet because we still have six more attackers to go.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16It's unlikely but if they all finish in under two minutes, he's out.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20I think the defenders will have something to say about that.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22I'm here to blast you! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:07:22 > 0:07:25You can always rely on Skabb to get to the point.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Splat. Splatastic. Splaterrific. Spla...
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Were you just playing with my splat-o-meter?- Of course not, No!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37I was just doing a round-up of the show, while you went to the loo!
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- Good, well, pop on your hat and do some splat stats.- Of course.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Twelve attackers began the tournament.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47This is where it gets tasty because only the fastest six will survive.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50So, from now on, attackers will start to get eliminated.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52The defenders are still in play.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55It's their mission to protect the Splatalot kingdom.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57The harder they defend, the higher the splat count.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00- You have been playing with it! - Here's the leaderboard as it stands.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Our first six attackers
0:08:02 > 0:08:03have done all that they can.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Kyle's in the driving seat
0:08:05 > 0:08:06and Ellie's hanging on.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08But don't think for one minute
0:08:08 > 0:08:09the defenders will make it easy.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Let's get started!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I hate yogurt!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16And now, I would imagine, she hates barrels.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20It was only barrel number two, she might have nothing against the rest.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Where are you, my dear? - Arrgh! I like the name Sydney!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Boom!- I also like the name, Splat!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Yeah, but that's coming from someone named Skabb.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32She survived Skabb's name-calling but how will Sydney do on the mace?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Oh, gastro-combustulate!
0:08:34 > 0:08:37She's gone down under. Sydney, down under. You know...
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Repeating it doesn't make it funny.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Kyle proved the impossible isn't impossible,
0:08:42 > 0:08:44but that doesn't help Sydney!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46We'll have to call it the improbable incline.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49The not impossible but very hard incline?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51You know, you're impossible sometimes!
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Can Sydney survive Ballista's water cannon attack?
0:08:54 > 0:08:57She's just about drunk half of it! It's an interesting tactic.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00But it's the same old disappointing result.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02She won't thank Ballista for that!
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- You're welcome!- No. I said she won't thank you for that.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08But we can thank Sydney for finishing in 6:44.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09It's good enough - for now.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12This is going to be crazy!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Do you think this is going to be crazy?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oop, well, it's a crazy start.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Jackie launched herself into those barrels.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20It wasn't a sensible move.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23This isn't sensible either, she can't afford to waste time.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27I hate girlie screams. They make me feel dizzy.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30What does Skabb mean? I wouldn't call Jackie a screamer.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I wouldn't disagree with Skabb.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35She's a girlie screamer, who's not getting far up this slope!
0:09:35 > 0:09:39- Onto the mace. Will she do any better?- The short answer is no.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41The long answer - check Skabb's splatzooka skills.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44He hits Jackie after she's fallen. KNIGHTRISS LAUGHS
0:09:44 > 0:09:48Jackie needs to cross the battle-axes in one attempt.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52- Ready or not, here you fall! - Ballista now joining in on the fun.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Bewattle jackanapes! She's back in the splurge!
0:09:55 > 0:09:58That was never going to work. Like Ellie, she loses a shoe.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59What a pair!
0:09:59 > 0:10:03It'll take more than that to keep me down!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Jackie's a true fighter but the new time to beat is 6:44
0:10:06 > 0:10:08and that's just beaten her. It's boo-boo, Jackie.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09And hoo-hoo, Steven.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I like turtles!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13He seems to like the barrels.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15D'oh, so close!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Hey, Steven! Hi! - BANG!
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Are you scared, Steven? Ha-ha! I'm here to blast you!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23BANG!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Skabb's really up for it today! Khyber-goo!- Khyber-goo indeed.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29He's proving to be splat-on with that splatzooka.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33With Skabb in this mood, who'd want to be an attacker today?
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Jamie, that's who.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Boo-yah-sha-kah!
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Fall off now! - BANG!
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Oh, that's another direct hit from Skabb. He's on target.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- Jamie's on target for the moat! Bless his cotton's.- Down he goes!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48I put extra ice in the water this morning for you, Jamie.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Maybe Skabb should stick to firing his splatzooka.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Ballista with the water cannon, but Jamie's crossed the bridge.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Even this far away, Skabb isn't giving up.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59He's got Jamie yet again!
0:10:59 > 0:11:02# Boom, boom, boom, boom-boom! #
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Got him!
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- Whoo-hoo! - The defenders have upped their game.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Perfect ten for Ballista!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Even so, Jamie gets home in 2:57.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12And even Steven finishes in a good time.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15To the moon!
0:11:15 > 0:11:16Easy for you to say, Deken.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21Deken makes the barrels look easy, this could be good!
0:11:21 > 0:11:23- BANG! - I'm Skabb! Ha-ha!
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Skabb still hitting every attacker on the course!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- But Deken has now made it over the mace!- The incline will get him, oh!
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- Oh, yeah?- He's now hopping over the battle-axes too!
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- Like a kanga-ranga-wanga!- Hey, I do the graphics! Not bad though.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Can he clear the moat?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Incredible, he can!
0:11:40 > 0:11:43That means we have a splat-free round from Deken.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- The first of the day! - We'll get you next round!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49That's why they're in a mood.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51- Deken finishes in 43 seconds! - Crusting-tacious!
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- How do you follow that?- With our final attacker, Kirsten, I suppose.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Ready or not...here I come!
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Kirsten can solve a Rubik's Cube in under a minute.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04She's not too good with round, cylindrical objects, is she?
0:12:04 > 0:12:08So, she can do a cube in the time it took Deken to finish the course.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Now there's the time to beat of 3:27 to qualify.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13So she's already struggling!
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Oooh, mongoose-goose! Still, as splats go, it was a good one.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Now, the impossible incline may be slightly less impossible-er
0:12:22 > 0:12:23than we thought,
0:12:23 > 0:12:27but it's still the obstacle that catches most of the attackers out.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30And gets the highest number of splats on the splat-o-gram.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31Splat-o-meter!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33The splat-o-meter has been working overtime,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36thanks to that little slope, wouldn't you agree?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Yes, Dom. I'm inclined to agree with you!- Is that supposed to be funny?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41I'm inclined to think it is.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- I'm inclined to think you're going a bit nuts.- I'm just inclined.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46So, the fastest attackers are...
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Deken, Kyle, Amy, Sam, Jamie
0:12:48 > 0:12:49and Steven.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Westlife.
0:12:50 > 0:12:56They'll be battling it out in the Stockade, which looks like this...
0:12:58 > 0:12:59SPLAT!
0:12:59 > 0:13:00This round's for you, buddy!
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Yes, it's going to get very, very splatty!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06CLANK!
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- Dom?- Yes?
0:13:12 > 0:13:16You know how sometimes the Splatalot rules can be a bit hard to grasp?
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Yes.- And well, you really know your stuff.- Yes.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24- I was wondering if you could clear something up for me?- What?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25SPLAT!
0:13:25 > 0:13:28That pie in your face! Ha! It's time for the Stockade.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32Six will enter but only four will leave. Here are those six.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Deken, Kyle, Amy, Sam, Jamie
0:13:34 > 0:13:34and Steven,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37who posted the fastest times
0:13:37 > 0:13:38in Splatalot history.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42- Although this is only the first series.- Still counts.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Do you think Splatalot will still be around in 100 years' time?
0:13:45 > 0:13:51- Oh, yes! Although by then it will be in 4D and set in space!- What's 4D?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Well, better than 3D, innit?- Is it?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Right, back to planet Earth.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58The Stockade - the attackers are strapped to the wheel!
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Dizzy, they stumble to the ladder rungs, which help build the ladder
0:14:02 > 0:14:04but the rungs only fit certain slots.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Ladder built, the attackers can retrieve
0:14:07 > 0:14:10one of four flags, strapped to the annihilating arm
0:14:10 > 0:14:12and make their way to victory!
0:14:12 > 0:14:16- Only four flags, you say?- Yes.- That means two attackers won't survive!
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- Yes!- It's almost as if these Splatalot rules have been designed
0:14:20 > 0:14:22to make the contest even more...dramatic.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Yes.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30To add more tension, here are the Stockade defenders. Shaiden,
0:14:30 > 0:14:34the vain Viking, Gildar. Who does he think he is?
0:14:34 > 0:14:38- And Kookaburra... - One flap and you're on your back!
0:14:38 > 0:14:45- You'll never get past us. We are fearless!- Ooh!
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Remember, attackers begin strapped to the wheel.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Here's the line up...
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Steven is in the orange,
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Deken's in the lavender.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55He didn't want to be but we put him in his place
0:14:55 > 0:14:56after his amazing first round.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Defenders can't wait.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Amy's in the pink,
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Kyle in the red,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Sam in the light blue.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Shut your mouth, Sam!
0:15:03 > 0:15:04And Jamie,
0:15:04 > 0:15:06who knows what colour that is?!
0:15:06 > 0:15:07The foam is flowing.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09KLAXON BLARES
0:15:09 > 0:15:11And they're off.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Shaiden is already on the attack with the slime-stick.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Slime time! Ha-ha!
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Well, it looks like foam o'clock to me.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21It's slippier than a greasy eel wearing slippers.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24I need time to take that all in. Conkers!
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Mind your step, attackers.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Kookaburra's throwing arm is spot-on. Dublin!
0:15:29 > 0:15:34Amy takes a right splatting. There's no hiding place in the Stockade.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Jamie hanging on to the arm which leaves him going round in circles.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Once more Kookaburra gets a direct hit with a paint grenade.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44This time Jamie is the victim and down he slides.
0:15:44 > 0:15:49Shaiden prefers a slime-stick and takes out Deken.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Kookaburra's now splatted Steven.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54It seems he's more accurate when he's hysterical.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57I've only ever seen him hysterical.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01If hysterical Kook's not enough, the annihilating arm's kicking in too.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02- Arms don't kick.- Whatever.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Here's some progress from the very foamy Jamie.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- The one's for you, buddy.- Good show.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Skabb couldn't miss in round one,
0:16:09 > 0:16:12now Kookaburra's splatting for fun in round two.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16Gildar, you magnificent Viking, you've really done it again.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18I wondered when Gildar would chip in.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21- I think he feels left out. - He's foaming spectacularly.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- The splat count is through the roof. - There is no roof.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28You know, as a professional Viking, I feel it's important
0:16:28 > 0:16:31to combine my brute strength with my natural charm.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34It's something you don't see every day.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Hey, Gildar? Less talking, more splatting, pretty boy.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Priceless. One put down from Shaiden and Gildar shuts up.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44He's concentrating on the splat.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48He's doing a great job. He's really slowed the attackers down.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50I think the defenders are bossing this one.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51Careful you don't slip.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55Hey, Orange! Or-ange you glad I'm pretty?
0:16:57 > 0:16:58I don't get it.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01What's worse? Kook telling it, or Gildar not getting it?
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- I didn't get it either.- Urgh.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05Whoopsie!
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Finally, Steven has got it. He's almost built his ladder.
0:17:09 > 0:17:14- Yum.- Yum. Kook's not holding back today, is he?
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Tastes good, doesn't it, mate?
0:17:17 > 0:17:18A classic manoeuvre.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21The annihilating arm hurdle-splats. Textbook.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23OK, brother, you all right?
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Steven is the first to make a grab for a flag. And, yes, he gets it.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31- Jamie won't be far behind. - Deken is finishing his ladder too.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33FANFARE And Steven's made it.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Hey, up here!
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Oh, he's looked up.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39That is such a schoolboy-error from Deken.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Does this weapon make my triceps look bigger?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44His head's getting bigger,
0:17:44 > 0:17:47and even his fellow defenders don't know where to look.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Gildar's antics have given them a chance to progress.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- Jamie's got the second flag. - And he's the second one through.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57And Deken's on his way too. Ooh, er...
0:17:57 > 0:17:59On his way into his own ladder. Oop.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02And now Kyle grabs the last flag. The round is almost over.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06Not before some more splatting. Deken's found this round harder.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- But he's through.- And so is Kyle.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12So that's it. Round Two is complete.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Farewell to Amy and so long to Sam.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Which means Deken, Kyle, Jamie and Steven go through.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- Now that, that, was something else. - What was?
0:18:21 > 0:18:25- Stockade.- So, what was it then, if it was something else?
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Kumquat?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31We have our four finalists who are about to compete
0:18:31 > 0:18:32for the coveted kumquat...
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Crown!- Crown, yes.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36The final won't have any kumquats
0:18:36 > 0:18:39but there'll be thwacks, splashes and splats!
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Say, "Agh!"
0:18:41 > 0:18:44And of course it will produce a new king of Splatalot.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50That last round really was the cat's pyjamas.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- Ha, interesting turn of phrase. - Oh, yes.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55There's a fascinating story behind it. See...
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Sorry, Dom. I need to stop you. - What is it? Nothing.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02I just need to stop you. Remember the final is only seconds away!
0:19:02 > 0:19:04You're right. Let's focus on the finalists.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Deken was by far the fastest over the moat
0:19:06 > 0:19:10but then Steven was first to capture the flag in Round Two.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- What?- I'm just thinking about cats in pyjamas!
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Right, where were we? Oh, yes.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Back to our final four finalists,
0:19:16 > 0:19:19who are Deken, Kyle, Jamie and Steven.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22- It's a very strong line-up. - Absolutely. All six of them.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26- There are four attackers. - I'm talking about the six defenders.
0:19:26 > 0:19:31We've got Knightriss, Gildar, Shaiden, Kookaburra and Ballista,
0:19:31 > 0:19:33and replacing Skabb is Tinkor.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- That is just... - Sorry, Dom! I need to stop you
0:19:35 > 0:19:39because apparently Skabb has fled the castle in shame.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- Oh.- The other defenders found his driving licence
0:19:41 > 0:19:43and discovered his real name is Alan.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48Alan the Barbarian? Not really as scary as Skabb, is it?
0:19:48 > 0:19:50And certainly not as scary as the final course.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53The attackers slide down the poles into the foam pit.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Next come the terrible teeters followed by the barrier,
0:19:56 > 0:19:57then the bouncy buoys.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00The cannons will fire on all cylinders to slow down
0:20:00 > 0:20:04any attempt at the water wall, the last barrier before the crown.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08DEFENDERS SHOUT: Alan! Alan! Alan! Alan...!
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- Oh, dear.- The defenders are rubbing it in. Poor Alan...I mean Skabb!
0:20:12 > 0:20:13From left to right,
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Deken, Kyle, Steven and Jamie.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20And they're off down the poles! And the slime buckets await.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22So do the Teeters. Always tricky.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Slime time, buddy!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Do you think he just eats sugar all day?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- Let's see some tottering. - Yes, Deken is creaking.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Like that gag, he disappears without trace.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- And so does Steven, who's leaving. - Here, I do the bad gags.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Sorry.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38It seems as if it's a little bit chilly! Ha-ha-ha!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41He means the temperature of Ballista's water cannon.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- But her aim is red hot! - I'm lukewarm about that comment.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Water cannon or not,
0:20:45 > 0:20:48the attackers are struggling to cross the teeters.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49It's a teeter-fest!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Splooshy! Splatty!
0:20:53 > 0:20:56This is more promising, Deken is making a move.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59But it's not a good move and that starts a domino effect.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Down goes Jamie and then Kyle.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- Deken takes a splashing but shrugs it off.- This guy?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07And Deken is up and then down!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Did he just get me wet? You got my hair wet.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12No-one messes with Gildar's hair
0:21:12 > 0:21:15and so Deken retreats back to the teeters.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Ooh, Mandy Dingle! - Maybe Steven will make it
0:21:17 > 0:21:19despite Shaiden's attempts.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Steven hops onto the Barrier.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22This one's for me...
0:21:23 > 0:21:27And this one's for all of you watching at home.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29The sound of a nation blowing chunks.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34Tinkor now wading in, proving he's not just making up the numbers.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Ooh, Ostend!
0:21:36 > 0:21:38How about a little showering off, my dear?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41No point showering if Tinkor's still splashing.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Jamie about to go sploot!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Say, "Agh!"
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Pinpoint lunacy from Kookaburra yet again.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- Deken still creaking. - Still not funny.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53And Steven still leaving the rest behind.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57Jamie and Kyle still falling and still splatting. Muffin!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Croissant!
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- Steven now about to make his move. - I think Tinkor's made it for him.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07But he's over! Just the water wall to go.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08He's almost sprinting up there.
0:22:08 > 0:22:13No-one can touch him now and, yes, Steven takes the crown
0:22:13 > 0:22:15and becomes the new King of Splatalot!
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Bad luck, defenders, and all hail, King Steven!
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Yes!
0:22:20 > 0:22:24Ah, what a worthy champion. Steven was way ahead of the competition.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Yes, but spare a thought for the defenders.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28They put their heart and soul into it.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Kookaburra was great in the Stockade
0:22:30 > 0:22:32and Skabb was amazing in Round One.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33Skabb? Don't you mean Alan?
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Look, how would you like it if I told the whole world
0:22:36 > 0:22:38your real name was Gloria?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Here's Splat Of The Day.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- That was our secret!- I'm sure only the whole nation heard.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Remember when Jacqueline attempted the splits
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- on the battle-axes? - Oh, never advisable.
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Splits led to splats.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55And a splat-o-meter reading of splatastrophic!
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Is that the highest setting?
0:22:58 > 0:23:02Unofficially, it can go up to Splatasmagorical.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06- You didn't hear that from me. - Yes, I did. Just then.- Shut up!
0:23:07 > 0:23:11Here's how Steven got crowned. He didn't master the Maze.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13And he got splatted in the Stockade.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15But he dug deep and emerged victorious.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19Then, in the final round, he led all the way, which means he can say...
0:23:19 > 0:23:23I'm the king of the castle!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- Will you stop it with those rhymes? - It isn't a crime!
0:23:25 > 0:23:27SLAP! Argh!
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:23:32 > 0:23:35E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk