Episode 8

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04- It's splat time, folks! - Yes, welcome to Splatalot,

0:00:04 > 0:00:07the magical, mythical kingdom where 10 brave young warriors

0:00:07 > 0:00:09go head to head with those deplorable defenders

0:00:09 > 0:00:12as they compete to capture the treasured Splatalot crown!

0:00:12 > 0:00:13This was my mother's idea!

0:00:13 > 0:00:16Can the attackers overthrow the defenders

0:00:16 > 0:00:18in their magisterial quest to reign supreme?

0:00:18 > 0:00:20Or will the defenders repel them

0:00:20 > 0:00:22with their arsenal of slime-based weaponry?

0:00:22 > 0:00:25So who will tumble? Who will tilt? Who will teeter?

0:00:25 > 0:00:26- And who will go... - BOTH: Splat?!

0:00:30 > 0:00:35- Hello, I'm Dick, he's Dom.- And this is Splatalot, but what is Splatalot?

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Is it a place? Is it an idea?

0:00:37 > 0:00:40Is it a message to the world telling us to overcome our fears,

0:00:40 > 0:00:43to confront every challenge that life throws at us

0:00:43 > 0:00:45and to follow our dreams?

0:00:45 > 0:00:46Hmm?

0:00:46 > 0:00:51Or is it... "three rounds of splatty fun"?

0:00:51 > 0:00:54"That's it, stop over-thinking everything, now shut up!

0:00:54 > 0:00:57"P.S. We need more milk."

0:00:57 > 0:00:58Right, um, let's have a look

0:00:58 > 0:01:01at those three rounds of splatty fun, then, shall we?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03In Round One,

0:01:03 > 0:01:06all ten attackers are challenged to cross the merciless moat.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09The sixth fastest will then attempt to ditch the dungeon, but only

0:01:09 > 0:01:12the top four will reach the final, where the Splatalot crown awaits.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15- Ah, very well put.- Thank you! So much better than, er,

0:01:15 > 0:01:18"three rounds of splatty fun," don't you think?

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Here's the first round in more detail.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22The moat challenge gets off to a flying start as

0:01:22 > 0:01:25- the splatterball hurls the attackers into the moat.- Splatty fun.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Then they climb the slippery slope and cross the rolling mace.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31- More splatty fun!- Then it's down the incline, over the battleaxes,

0:01:31 > 0:01:34across the bridge of disaster onto the debilitating disc

0:01:34 > 0:01:35and past the finish line.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38- Even more...- Splatty fun! Yes, I think we get the picture.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40It's just, sometimes, you think too much.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- Splatalot isn't an idea, it's a... - HONK!

0:01:43 > 0:01:45- ..rolled up in a... - RIP!

0:01:45 > 0:01:47- ..with a hint of... - Hee-hee! Get off!

0:01:47 > 0:01:51Exactly! And then, there's this lot. They're enough to make you...

0:01:51 > 0:01:52LOUD PARP!

0:01:52 > 0:01:56Yes, it's the defenders! They have one task - to stop the attackers

0:01:56 > 0:01:58at all costs and, in Round One, that task goes to...

0:01:58 > 0:02:00- Vane!- The bow-less archer with an appetite,

0:02:00 > 0:02:03Thorne, the thoughtless thug with a silly haircut,

0:02:03 > 0:02:05and Faetal, the venomous Viking.

0:02:05 > 0:02:09- Who ordered the pain cakes? - Actually, I think I did.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Out on the course, Thorne's ready with the slime stick,

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Faetal has the aqualizer and Vane's with the splatzooka!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16So let's meet our first attacker Kyra!

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Defenders, catch me if you can!

0:02:18 > 0:02:20I'm sure they'll try.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Wow! All-star athlete Kyra is really off to a flying start!

0:02:23 > 0:02:26- Ah, you mean like this?- No, I don't! You've turned her into Batgirl!

0:02:27 > 0:02:31You know, when I run track, Kyra, I just knock the hurdles over,

0:02:31 > 0:02:33it's way easier!

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Blubber-houses! Blubber-houses!

0:02:35 > 0:02:37On your mark, get set...

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Bro!

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Ooh, and Kyra comes a cropper!

0:02:41 > 0:02:44Well, to be honest, I think it was a false start and she pays for it

0:02:44 > 0:02:47- with a trip to the moat.- Kyra at the incline, she makes a small step

0:02:47 > 0:02:51- and chipping sod-berries!- Yes, that was a small step too far for Kyra.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54She loses her footing and goes from Batgirl to SPLAT-girl!

0:02:54 > 0:02:57I once made it the Olympics for competitive napping.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00I missed my competitive napping thing, cos I slept through it.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- I was training. - I feel like a nap after that!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05He's also sending Kyra to sleep!

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Well, at least she had a nice comfy water bed to fall on to.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Here's a wake-up call from Faetal!

0:03:09 > 0:03:12All that running, Kyra, it may be time for a water break!

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Kyra decides to run away, but the sprinter some becomes a splatter!

0:03:16 > 0:03:19She looks like she's a professional at track and splat!

0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Hmm, I prefer your line. - Thank you, dear!

0:03:22 > 0:03:26- Kyra leaps and she just about makes her landing!- Did you see that?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28And Kyra finishes with a time of 6:11!

0:03:28 > 0:03:29My name is Mr Gorbachev

0:03:29 > 0:03:31and tear down this castle!

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Mr Gorbachev is obsessed with his hair and his real name's Tristin!

0:03:34 > 0:03:38Yo, Tristin, how do you like MY hair, dude?!

0:03:38 > 0:03:39Fun-sy!

0:03:39 > 0:03:42Wow, where did that lot come from? Tristin couldn't move

0:03:42 > 0:03:44- for paint balls! - Tristin tiptoes across the mace,

0:03:44 > 0:03:46but he falls into the moat!

0:03:46 > 0:03:48So our tongue-twisting top tip of the day is,

0:03:48 > 0:03:50"Don't tiptoe, Tristin, or you'll slip and trip."

0:03:50 > 0:03:52At the axes now! Bug-head!

0:03:52 > 0:03:55Well, Tristin might want to check his hair after that splat!

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- I think he's going for the wet look! - BOTH: Ooh!

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Now what we're doing right now is a light rinse

0:04:00 > 0:04:02just to make sure we get all the slime out.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Faetal tries to give Tristin a complete makeover!

0:04:05 > 0:04:08But Tristin prefers a hair-raising splat in the moat instead.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10- A great time, though. - Looking good, Tristin,

0:04:10 > 0:04:13now for some hair gel. What do you think, Faetal?

0:04:13 > 0:04:14He looks great.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17I didn't know there was water involved!

0:04:17 > 0:04:19I hope Mandy's teasing us!

0:04:19 > 0:04:20Boo-ya!

0:04:20 > 0:04:23I really like environmentally-conscious girls.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25That's awesome, here's some green balls.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Vane shouldn't joke about the environment.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29To be fair, he wasn't very funny.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Ooh, a rainbow! Is that a good look? - Seemingly not.

0:04:31 > 0:04:36Well, there's no gold at the end of the one for Mandy! Just moat water!

0:04:36 > 0:04:39See that rope ladder you're climbing right there? All organic.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42Yes, but what's the impossible incline made from?

0:04:42 > 0:04:43- Itchy-ka-wa!- Itchy-ka-wa?!

0:04:43 > 0:04:47Well, strictly speaking, 75% itchy-ka-wa, 25% polyester.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50- It looks like she's trying to save the dolphins!- But who'll save Mandy?

0:04:50 > 0:04:54- 9:47 might not be good enough! - Here's Marco!

0:04:54 > 0:04:58- Remember the Alamo!- The famous battle in Texas in 1836?- Nice one!

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- I heard that you're Frexican - is that French and Mexican?- Yeah!

0:05:01 > 0:05:02That's awesome, dude!

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Yes, but he's also half slippy, half slidey and 100% splatty!

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Mmm, the perfect ingredients! Just add water!

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Hmm, I'm not sure you'd want to include

0:05:10 > 0:05:12the contents of the moat in any recipe.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14This guy is all feeling but no tackle.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17But Marco's found the recipe for success

0:05:17 > 0:05:20- with the fastest time so far. - That extra topping's for free.

0:05:20 > 0:05:21Ahh! Just kidding!

0:05:21 > 0:05:25- Is she just acting?- Apparently, she can sing, dance and act.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Well, now she can splat too!

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Hey, Bianca, I heard you're pretty talented.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31You know, Vane's pretty talented too.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34# Figaro! Figaro! Splat-aro! #

0:05:34 > 0:05:38Thank you, Vane. Please leave your name in the bin on your way out.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41# Mor-mio! #

0:05:41 > 0:05:45- And the crowd goes wild. - But what does Bianca make of it all?

0:05:45 > 0:05:46Cap-ya-shone!

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Yes, well, I think that can only be described as the very opposite

0:05:49 > 0:05:51of a standing ovation.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Bianca, Bianca?

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Wherefore art thou, Bianca?

0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Great, everybody's getting in on the act now.- Can Bianca stay focused?

0:05:59 > 0:06:02- She's slipping and soo-gee-how-ah! - Well, it's hard to concentrate

0:06:02 > 0:06:04when you're being upstaged by inferior talent.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Believe me, darling, I should know.- Oi!

0:06:06 > 0:06:09But in the end, she puts in a fine performance.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Brava, Bianca, brava!

0:06:11 > 0:06:15- So, at the halfway stage, here's... What's up with you?- Nothing.- Good.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Here's the leaderboard.

0:06:19 > 0:06:20Mandy is in the danger zone.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Now, we have five more attackers to come

0:06:22 > 0:06:25and six in total going through to Round Two,

0:06:25 > 0:06:28so whoever's in the lead at the halfway point is automatically safe.

0:06:28 > 0:06:32- And that's Marco, with a time of... - You called me inferior talent!

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Oi! Come... How unprofessional! Huh?!

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Well, if the next five attackers can provide as much drama

0:06:37 > 0:06:40as Mr Grumby-numbles, we'll be in for an Oscar-winning round.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Hey! Where are you? Come on, that was just a little joke!

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Plea... Oh, forget it!

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Right, so five more attackers are about to attempt the...

0:06:51 > 0:06:52PARP!

0:06:53 > 0:06:55..moat challenge.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57They know the times they have to beat, but the first half

0:06:57 > 0:07:00included some fast rounds, so... What are you doing?!

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Oh, er, me and my inferior talents are upstaging you, cos, apparently,

0:07:03 > 0:07:07- that's all they're good for!- OK, so maybe I was a little bit harsh!

0:07:07 > 0:07:11OK... OK, just this once, I'll forgive you.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Aw, thank you, dear! - That's all right.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Here's a reminder of the leaderboard.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21The over-friendly Faetal, the vacant Vane

0:07:21 > 0:07:24and the prickly Thorne are ready, so let's meet Jacob.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26I like cheese! Woooo!

0:07:26 > 0:07:29If he's like that with cheese, this course will send him crackers!

0:07:29 > 0:07:32Actually, I think it's just going to send him into the moat a lot.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34At the mace now.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37- Poodle!- Oh, dude! Head shot!

0:07:37 > 0:07:40I'm sorry, but I can't condone Vane's celebratory moment there.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43- The attackers aren't just pieces of meat.- Would you call that rare,

0:07:43 > 0:07:45- medium or well done? - You're not helping!

0:07:45 > 0:07:47You've got to be kidding me!

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Oh, now, here's a clever way to avoid being splatted on the incline.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Yes, but he may have forgotten this is against the clock.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Oh, dear, he's still doing it at the bridge.- Give him a chance!

0:07:55 > 0:07:58I think this could work, cos you'd get round this course more quickly

0:07:58 > 0:08:00- if you don't fall in. - Like that you mean?

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Ah! So, with 12:13, Jacob's approach didn't quite work.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Princess of the Castle!

0:08:06 > 0:08:08But you need to be Queen!

0:08:08 > 0:08:10Are you ever in the mood for just a plain mayo sandwich?

0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Is all you ever think about food? - Yes! Totally!

0:08:13 > 0:08:15I can 100% admit to that. What's your name?

0:08:15 > 0:08:18I don't know, Turkey Sandwich. Sounds like that.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20- It's Thorne! - Oh, Thorne, yeah, that's right.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23I love how the defenders always come up with such stimulating

0:08:23 > 0:08:26- topics of conversation!- Princess Natasha doesn't seem to agree.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- She prefers the company of the won ton.- And, courtesy

0:08:28 > 0:08:32of the majestical mace, her Royal Highness reaches new depths.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34To splat or not to splat?

0:08:34 > 0:08:37That, Natasha, is the question.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Who do you think you are - William Splats-spear?!

0:08:40 > 0:08:42More tragic nonsense from the defenders,

0:08:42 > 0:08:44but that time of 5:40 is far from tragic!

0:08:44 > 0:08:45One small step for man.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47One giant splat for mankind!

0:08:47 > 0:08:50How fitting as we launch Iarin into orbit!

0:08:50 > 0:08:53And here she is re-entering the Earth's splat-mosphere.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57Iarin, what's the origin of Iarin? Is it pirate or what? Ye-arr!

0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Arr!- Once again, I cannot condone Vane's ignorant oafishness.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Well, it's pretty much the only thing he's good at.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Looks like Iarin's pretty good at moat landings.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08Well, she did promise us "one small splat for man".

0:09:08 > 0:09:12Yes, but will she be able to deliver that "giant splat for mankind"?

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Jam-fun! Yes, she can!

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Houston, we have blast off! Our intrepid Iarin is

0:09:16 > 0:09:19sent rocketing once more into the dark side of the moat.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22And Iarin's voyage into outer splat finishes in 5:52.

0:09:22 > 0:09:23For the splats!

0:09:23 > 0:09:27- Apparently, Jordan is the master of sarcasm.- Of course he is(!)

0:09:27 > 0:09:30- Hey, maybe YOU'RE the master! - Are you being sarcastic?- No!

0:09:30 > 0:09:34- Thorne, I have a bone to pick with you.- Yes, my dear?

0:09:34 > 0:09:37You need to stop mixing your laundry in with mine.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39- How embarrassing!- They're not mine!

0:09:39 > 0:09:42Yes, they are. This is the third time this week!

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Well, after that "brief" interlude, here's Jordan on...

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Sorry, off the bridge and into the diggle!

0:09:47 > 0:09:49How will he deal with the debilitating disc?

0:09:49 > 0:09:50That's how!

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Yes, but he doesn't fall in and that will save him some valuable time.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Not a problem for Jordan as that is the second-fastest round today!

0:09:57 > 0:10:00- Let's goo him anyway! - Here's our final attacker Robbie!

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- This is my mother's idea! - Brilliant battle cry!

0:10:03 > 0:10:07- FEMALE VOICE:- Robert, don't worry about what the other attackers say.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09You're my son and I love ya!

0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Why is Vane being so cruel to the attackers today?- It's his job!

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Well, crossing the mace was too tough a job for Robbie!

0:10:15 > 0:10:17To be fair, most of the attackers have struggled on it.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Yeah, the mace is on a roll today. - Oh, please!

0:10:20 > 0:10:22My Robert's going to be a competitive diver!

0:10:22 > 0:10:26- You suck!- Oh, he's so dramatic!

0:10:26 > 0:10:29Now, will Robbie pay for that backchat?

0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Swing!- Ooh, right in the keister!

0:10:31 > 0:10:33See, never talk back to your mum!

0:10:33 > 0:10:35But Vane ISN'T his mum, is he?

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Chuck-a-ree!

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Well, backchat leads to thwack splat!

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Robbie's just about to make his move on the axe

0:10:41 > 0:10:43and the water burst takes him by surprise. Top splatting!

0:10:43 > 0:10:45On the disc now. Not for long!

0:10:45 > 0:10:49So you splattered, so you didn't do so well. Who cares, Robbie?

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Despite all that mothering, Robbie's through.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53- That's my Robert! - Let's check out the leaderboard.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Our six fastest attackers are...

0:10:58 > 0:11:01And what's their reward for such an achievement?

0:11:01 > 0:11:03All the choc chip ice cream they can eat?

0:11:03 > 0:11:06Staying up late on a school night? Wearing the same socks for a month?

0:11:06 > 0:11:08No, not exactly! They'll be splattered heavily

0:11:08 > 0:11:11while sliding continually into the murky depths of the castle dungeon.

0:11:11 > 0:11:12Oh, right, so no choc chip, then?

0:11:14 > 0:11:16So, before we head for Round Two,

0:11:16 > 0:11:19what have you made of the defenders' performances so far?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Well, performance is the word.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24We had Vane trying to sing opera and Faetal acting all Shakespearean.

0:11:24 > 0:11:28- Yeah, in their own, er, sweet way, of course.- Ahem!

0:11:28 > 0:11:30# Figaro! Faetalo! Faetalo! #

0:11:30 > 0:11:34Romeo, Romeo? Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

0:11:34 > 0:11:36I so totally hate being kept waiting!

0:11:36 > 0:11:39But soft, bro? What light's like from yonder window breaks, dude?

0:11:39 > 0:11:41She's like a triple burger with cheese and Juliet is the mayo!

0:11:41 > 0:11:43- CHEERING - Thank you.- Thank you.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Oh, flowers! Thank you very much.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47OK, dudes, let's crank up the action... Ahem!

0:11:47 > 0:11:49..and remind ourselves who's going through to Round Two.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53We have Bianca, Marco, Tristin, Robbie, Jordan and Natasha.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56And they're about to Ditch The Dungeon,

0:11:56 > 0:11:58so let's see what that means in more detail.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00You know, you can, er, take that off now.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03OK, so the attackers begin by escaping from the stock market,

0:12:03 > 0:12:06crossing the slippery splat walk and climbing the loathsome ladder.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08At the very top, they will find four flags.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11If they can claim one, then they're through to the final.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Of course, the defenders will be slowing them down at all times

0:12:14 > 0:12:17with their slime machines. "But which defenders?" I hear you ask.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20Did... Did I? Sorry, did I really? I was miles away.

0:12:20 > 0:12:21I wish you were. Here's the bad guys.

0:12:21 > 0:12:25- First up, it's the cunning cavalier comedian.- Kookaburra.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28- He has a funny line for every occasion.- Unlike our next defender,

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Skabb, who, shall we say, is a man of few words.

0:12:30 > 0:12:33Finally, Madeva, who, for once, gives us the silent treatment.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35Skabb rule 211!

0:12:35 > 0:12:40- When...- you...- fly...- do...- not... - look down on the ground.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42Well, the funny guy really delivered there.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44So the attackers are down in the dungeon.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Bianca's in red and blue, Marco's in orange,

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Robbie's in yellow and green, Natasha's in pink,

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Jordan's in green and Tristin's in yellow.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53The defenders are also in position,

0:12:53 > 0:12:55so I think it's time to get this round underway.

0:12:55 > 0:12:56- KLAXON - And they're off!

0:12:56 > 0:12:59They slip out of the stocks and head for the gate.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Oh, but the gate's putting up some resistance.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Just needed the right touch from Bianca.

0:13:03 > 0:13:07Not now, I'm disinfecting the course! Give me five minutes, OK?

0:13:07 > 0:13:09It's reassuring, though, that Kookaburra's so hygienic.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12But his idea of a spotless course is one with no attackers on it.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15And then, you wouldn't have spectacular pile-ups like that.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19Yes, it started with Tristin and expanded into a quadruple splat!

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Marco...Polo!

0:13:21 > 0:13:24Ooh! So Marco and Skabb have now been formally introduced.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26In Skabb's world, that's the same as a handshake.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29SHE SQUEALS

0:13:29 > 0:13:31- Pardon?- Know what I mean?

0:13:31 > 0:13:33What was that?

0:13:33 > 0:13:34No men?

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- I said, "Know what I mean," you know what I mean?- No man!

0:13:38 > 0:13:39No man!

0:13:39 > 0:13:42None of you men can come up here, it's just women.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Is that what she meant?- Who knows?

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- That's discriminatory! - Right, back to the game, perhaps.

0:13:47 > 0:13:48Clatter!

0:13:48 > 0:13:52Natasha slimed by Skabb this time, progress is slow for the attackers.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54Ooh, and Kook dislodges Tristin!

0:13:54 > 0:13:58He loses his balance and bumps into an unlucky Jordan on his way down.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Skabb rule number 433 -

0:14:00 > 0:14:04- when life gives you lemons, throw them at people.- What lemons, Skabb?

0:14:04 > 0:14:06- This is a lemon. - I'm not going to argue with him.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09Ooh! It's another direct Skabb splat!

0:14:09 > 0:14:11You know, sometimes it's hard to work out who's attacking

0:14:11 > 0:14:12and who's defending.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15Just so we're clear, the ones going uphill are the attackers.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17But what if they go downhill? What do we call them then?

0:14:17 > 0:14:19- We could call them a taxi.- Eugh!

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Look at them just taking each other out!

0:14:21 > 0:14:24Yes, a little slip leads to a bigger slide, a massive collide and pile

0:14:24 > 0:14:27- of hurt pride.- We'll need another taxi if you keep that poetry up.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Ka-shee-wa!- Tristin once again takes the main splat, but he takes out

0:14:30 > 0:14:34- four others with him!- Plus Bianca gets Marco's foot in her face.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35SHE SQUEALS

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Madeva splats Marco! And the winner of the moat challenge

0:14:38 > 0:14:41- slides the full length of the splat walk!- Know what I mean?

0:14:41 > 0:14:46Ah! Everyone, everyone, stop being mean! No mean!

0:14:46 > 0:14:48- Kook still doesn't get Madeva. - Nor do I.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Ta-you-ka! Robbie slides all the way back down!

0:14:51 > 0:14:52I wonder what his mum would think!

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Oh, he's so dramatic!

0:14:55 > 0:14:59- Rubber plague! - Skabb releases the bubonic balls

0:14:59 > 0:15:01and Robbie is once more on the receiving end! Melon head!

0:15:01 > 0:15:04Well, they used to say, if you got the plague,

0:15:04 > 0:15:05then you went downhill fast.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Oh, hang on, what's Tristin up to?

0:15:08 > 0:15:10He's holding onto Marco, is that allowed?

0:15:10 > 0:15:11Skabb takes aim and splats him!

0:15:11 > 0:15:14he slips, then slides into Bianca and then Natasha,

0:15:14 > 0:15:16so hanging onto Marco didn't exactly pay off!

0:15:16 > 0:15:18In fact, Marco could turn out to be the winner,

0:15:18 > 0:15:21but Skabb fends him off and, well, you know the rest.

0:15:21 > 0:15:22Yes, but I never tire of seeing it.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26- Each splat is as unique as a newborn snowflake.- Amazing.- Thank you.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Not you, look! Skabb's disappeared and there's no-one to stop Tristin!

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Pull him down! Pull him down!

0:15:31 > 0:15:34Too late, Thorne, Tristin and Marco have both made it over.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Tristin wins by a small margin, but they're both in the final!

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Meanwhile, the other attackers are slipping, sliding and struggling.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Tristin and Marco can celebrate, but who will be joining them?

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Two flags still remain.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47Natasha makes a move, but Robbie is sprinting! Look at him go!

0:15:47 > 0:15:48He's now level with her!

0:15:48 > 0:15:51But he slips and that allows Natasha to finish in third place!

0:15:51 > 0:15:55One place remains and Robbie and Bianca are both grappling for it!

0:15:55 > 0:15:58They've both slipped and down they go all the way back to the moat!

0:15:58 > 0:16:00And that leaves the door well and truly open for Jordan,

0:16:00 > 0:16:02who claims the final place!

0:16:02 > 0:16:04But as one door opens, another one shuts,

0:16:04 > 0:16:05this time on Robbie and Bianca.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Hey, Madeva, great defending, know what I mean?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Yeah! Ha-ha!

0:16:10 > 0:16:14Things are still a little lost in translation between Kook and Madeva.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17But the winning smiles on these guys' faces are easy to interpret.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Yes, our triumphant finalists

0:16:19 > 0:16:21who will soon be competing for the Splatalot crown are...

0:16:24 > 0:16:27- What a great round that was! - Yeah, the attackers did well,

0:16:27 > 0:16:29but the defenders were all over the place.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32Skabb disappeared at the end and what about all that nonsense

0:16:32 > 0:16:34with Madeva and Kookaburra? I can't understand them.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36To be fair, there are lots of things

0:16:36 > 0:16:38- you can't understand.- True. - Here is what's coming up.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41Yes, all any of us need understand is that our four finalists

0:16:41 > 0:16:43are about to get splatting of their lives

0:16:43 > 0:16:45in their quest to rule the kingdom!

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- Splat-stat-attack? - Yes, please, but can I do it?

0:16:50 > 0:16:52- Tell you what, we'll share it. - All right.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55Natasha only just qualified in the moat challenge,

0:16:55 > 0:16:57but improved slightly in Round Two.

0:16:59 > 0:17:03- DICK'S VOICE:- Conversely, Jordan started well with a second-place

0:17:03 > 0:17:06in Round One, but finished last in ditch the dungeon.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09Tristin has performed well so far with a third and first position.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15- DICK'S VOICE:- But Marco is the tournament favourite, winning

0:17:15 > 0:17:18the moat challenge and coming a very close second in Round Two.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21It's funny, it just doesn't sound like me when I've got it on!

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Sounded fine to me. Here's a reminder of today's finalists.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27- Our tournament favourite. - Our princess who would be Queen.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29- He's here for the splats. - And Mr Gorbachev.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Otherwise known as Marco, Natasha, Jordan and Tristin.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37And here's trouble, otherwise known as the dastardly defenders.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39All six of them are on duty in the Splatalot final.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42Which looks like this. We start with a trip through the dire mire.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44Then a leap across the terrifying Ts, which leads to

0:17:44 > 0:17:47the scary-go-round, but beware the wrecking ball we call the Splacken.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49The attackers must land on the gruesome twosome

0:17:49 > 0:17:51and get past the clobbering cannons.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54It's then a walk down the royal ramps and leap onto the rock wall.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58And at the top is the prize - that all-important Splatalot crown!

0:17:58 > 0:18:00The attackers are ready and raring to go.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03Skabb and Faetal are on slime duty, Thorne has the vaporiser,

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Kook's on the aqualizer and Medava and Vane

0:18:05 > 0:18:07- are on a break, by the look of it. - KLAXON

0:18:07 > 0:18:10And they're off, so Marco's in orange, Jordan's in green,

0:18:10 > 0:18:13Natasha's in pink and Tristin's in yellow and everybody's in the mire.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15Jordan is first to clear the barrier.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18- Marco's not too far behind, though. - What's this? Jordan has stopped

0:18:18 > 0:18:20to help the others over, allowing Marco to take the lead.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22He's first at the terrifying Ts.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- Hi, Marco.- Marco decides to take measured and steady steps.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27But bargey!

0:18:27 > 0:18:31Measured and steady soon becomes unmeasured and splatty!

0:18:31 > 0:18:33Look at this! The attackers are showing the defenders

0:18:33 > 0:18:35- how to get along.- Easy, Skabb!

0:18:35 > 0:18:39- That's harsh, how do you hit a girl?- A girl?

0:18:39 > 0:18:42- That wasn't a girl!- 'Uh-oh!'

0:18:42 > 0:18:44- Faetal is a lady! - Thank you.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Well saved, Skabb.- Jordan at the Ts, over one, over two...

0:18:47 > 0:18:48Over and out!

0:18:48 > 0:18:51If we look this again, we can see that Jordan falls in the moat.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Amazing commentary, how do you do it?

0:18:54 > 0:18:56It just comes naturally, like falling off a log

0:18:56 > 0:18:57or, in Marco's case, tripping on a T.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00And if you don't land on your feet, you have to do it all over again.

0:19:00 > 0:19:04- Natasha goes for the slow, steady, nice and gentle approach.- Oh!

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Nothing slow and steady about that splat.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09There she was minding her own business and,

0:19:09 > 0:19:12before she could say "power shower", she was taking a bath in the moat.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14A bath in the moat? Believe me, she won't come out cleaner.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16And I can't explain it,

0:19:16 > 0:19:19but there's something about the way you splat tonight.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Thorne, sometimes you just take my breath away.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Can Tristin do the same by crossing the Ts?

0:19:23 > 0:19:25Yes, he can, even with just one shoe!

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Marco lands safely on the scary-go-round

0:19:28 > 0:19:31- and manages to avoid the Splacken! - Why is it called the Splacken?

0:19:31 > 0:19:34- Because it's a cross between a splat on a chicken!- That makes no sense.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Tristin also makes his landing.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38He and Marco are opening up a bit of a lead now.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Don't rule out Natasha, she's crossed the Ts.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42Can you feel the splats tonight?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Thorne using the lyrics of Elton John to confuse

0:19:44 > 0:19:47and bewilder the attackers and it's working.

0:19:47 > 0:19:48Yeah, maybe Marco's not a fan of Sir Elton

0:19:48 > 0:19:51or, more likely, he can't stand Thorne's delivery.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Either way, he can't get to grips with the gruesome twosome.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Tristin's at the annihilating arm and holds on tight.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59Natasha's on the scary-go-round, but she needs to act fast,

0:19:59 > 0:20:02- because here comes the Splacken! - She manages to avoid it easily.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Tristin, however, doesn't avoid a splat in the yakky-soba!

0:20:05 > 0:20:08And Natasha takes over where Tristin left off!

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Back to Jordan at the Ts.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13He leaps and slips, but oh, can he save himself?

0:20:13 > 0:20:17- No.- And, just like Tristin, Jordan is trying to finish the course

0:20:17 > 0:20:20- with only one shoe.- No easy feat. - Marco at the clobbering cannons.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Have they clobbered him? Yes? No!

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Natasha's still on the arm, but here comes Tristin.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27This could be awkward! It is! Tristin bumbles and tumbles!

0:20:27 > 0:20:29He started at the bottom and worked his way down!

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Has any of this affected Natasha?

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Yes, it has, she joins Tristin in the moat!

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Aff-puddle!

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Don't give Vane too much credit,

0:20:37 > 0:20:39he was standing right next to poor old Marco.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41Jordan's catching up with the others now.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44Hey, Frexican, one flap and you're on your back, champ!

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Oh, beluga!

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Well, tournament favourite Marco might well be leading by example,

0:20:48 > 0:20:51but he's certainly splatting by example too.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Jordan's over the arm, but he's overbalanced too and down he goes!

0:20:54 > 0:20:58Hey, let me wash that guacamole off!

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Now, can Mark go make it onto the royal ramps this time?

0:21:00 > 0:21:03Yes, he can! He's getting closer to the prize!

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Can the other attackers catch him up?

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Tristin's nearest, but he's all the way back at the arm.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09He has another go, a good grip, but he'll need it.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13- Yes, Skabb and Faetal are slamming him at close range.- Back to Marco.

0:21:13 > 0:21:14He leaps and lands on the rock wall.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18What's Tristin's response to that? Oh, he goes for a splat in the moat.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Perhaps not the best response. - What is it with him and Natasha?

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Once again, they end up in exactly the wrong place

0:21:24 > 0:21:26- at precisely the wrong time. - Back to Marco.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29- Someone stop him!- You can hear the desperation in Kook's voice.

0:21:29 > 0:21:32He knows it might be too late. Marco is so close to finishing now.

0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Slow down, dude!- No, no!

0:21:34 > 0:21:37I will splat upside your head!

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Well, they can scream and shout all they like,

0:21:39 > 0:21:42but the defenders have lost, Marco has beaten the competition

0:21:42 > 0:21:45and conquered the course, making him the new king of Splatalot!

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Fantastic(!)

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Marco is a very happy chappie, but the defenders look deflated.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53They should learn from the other attackers, such good sports.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55- That's right, Skabb! - Let go of me, Faetal!- No!

0:21:55 > 0:21:58You cannot take down the Frexican?!

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Yes, Skabb, there's a new boss in town and his name is Marco!

0:22:00 > 0:22:04Er, His Royal Splatness King Macro of Splatalot,

0:22:04 > 0:22:06- to give him his full title. - Sorry, Your Splatness.- Mm-hm.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09What a worthy winner he was, although I have to say,

0:22:09 > 0:22:12the defenders were, once again, the architects of their own downfall.

0:22:12 > 0:22:13Yeah, but we like a good downfall,

0:22:13 > 0:22:15especially if it's a downfall into the moat.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18As we shall now demonstrate with our Splat Of The Day.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23And that honour goes to Natasha on the terrifying Ts,

0:22:23 > 0:22:26with this breathtaking, thirst quenching, water blasting,

0:22:26 > 0:22:28body drenching, moat churner of a splat.

0:22:28 > 0:22:33- Say that again three times quickly. - OK, that again three times quickly.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36Moving on, time to discuss King Marco's journey to the crown.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38In the first rounds, he established himself as the favourite.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41And in the final, he fulfilled his potential to the max.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43You can't take down the Frexican?!

0:22:43 > 0:22:46So, pray silence please for our new ruler - King Marco.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48My first act of King of Splatalot

0:22:48 > 0:22:50is to have one of you thrown into the moat.

0:22:50 > 0:22:54I wish it was all of you, but today, it's going to be...

0:22:54 > 0:22:58- Vane!- Well, it really could've been any one of them today.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01Maybe it was his bad mum impressions or his bad opera singing

0:23:01 > 0:23:04- or his bad food stories or his bad...- Yeah, you're right.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Good choice, Your Royal Splatness King Marco of Splatalot.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10Well, it's been another top-quality Splatravaganza.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Yes, we're off to re-slime the splatzookas,

0:23:13 > 0:23:15so we'll leave you with the Splata-pult ceremony.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18Take it away, Vane!

0:23:18 > 0:23:22- Whoa!- That's all for now, splat fans, so until next time...

0:23:22 > 0:23:23BOTH: Keep splatting!

0:23:25 > 0:23:26How's my hair?!

0:23:26 > 0:23:30Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd