0:00:02 > 0:00:05# Creepy ain't the word Freaky ain't the word
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# Sneaky ain't the word See what I've observed
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# As there's no easy way to describe this geeky place
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Even geeky place doesn't tell you what I need to say
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# This is Strange Hill! Where a talking frog can eat your face!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# It's very, very random You'll get used to these debates
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# If you stick around Although I wouldn't recommend it
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# When they use the name "Strange" Mate, they really meant it!
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# There's some things in life In which you just don't mess
0:00:25 > 0:00:28# On every vest I've got the letters SOS
0:00:28 > 0:00:31# Cos you never know what might be Lurking 'round the corner
0:00:31 > 0:00:33# Or what they might do If they ever found or saw you
0:00:33 > 0:00:36# Keep the lights on In the hallways, all day
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# Things won't always Tend to go your way
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# Watch your back and be prepared Can't wait for 3:30
0:00:42 > 0:00:43# See you there. #
0:00:43 > 0:00:45BELL RINGS
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Ahhhhhh!
0:00:49 > 0:00:50# I'm dying
0:00:50 > 0:00:52# And trying and vying and absolutely not lying
0:00:52 > 0:00:54# For your l-o-ove girl.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- # L-o-ove girl...# - Can you stop, please?
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Stop singing my favourite tune by my favourite singer,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- who is singing in town this weekend? - Yes. All that.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Sorry, can't.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07MC BoneBag is performing one night only and I've got to see him!
0:01:07 > 0:01:08HE BEATBOXES
0:01:08 > 0:01:09BoneBag!
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Fresh!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12You should only sing into a banana
0:01:12 > 0:01:15if you want to summon the Lord of the Apes - that's what my mum says.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Maybe she didn't want you singing.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Maybe she didn't want to deal with the terror of the Lord of the Apes.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Well, I've got to see BoneBag, no matter wha-aaaaa?!
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Who pasted that notice?!
0:01:25 > 0:01:28The Lord of the Apes moves in mysterious ways.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Blessed be he.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33GROANING
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Hairy, primitive, of mysterious origin...
0:01:36 > 0:01:38It's the Ape Lord, himself!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40It's just Murdoch, the caretake...
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Be you the Ape Lord, Murdoch?
0:01:42 > 0:01:43HE GROWLS
0:01:43 > 0:01:45I'll take that as an "ook".
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Who's walked muddy footprints all over my shiny floor?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Not me.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Not me.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53Not me.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57I'm going to say, "Templeton".
0:01:57 > 0:02:01Next time, leave the outside outside.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04I'd be happy never to set foot in the school, if it'd help.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Maybe if he spent less time being so cranky
0:02:07 > 0:02:11and more time doing his job, the school wouldn't be falling apart.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Seems fine to me.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Ahhhh!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Extra! Extra!
0:02:22 > 0:02:24"School Illiteracy At An All-Time High."
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Read all about it, if you can!
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- I'll take a paper, boy. - Thank you, Miss!
0:02:30 > 0:02:31The Daily Weekly?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33The student newspaper?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Really?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I like to know what's going on around the school.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Becks, the only thing more boring than being a student
0:02:40 > 0:02:41is reporting on students.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Being a cow is pretty boring.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Though reporting on cows - that's journalism.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47You'd be surprised.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49The Strange Hill paper's full of interesting things.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51- Student government...- Yawn.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- ..school sports team coverage... - Snooze.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- ..lunch menu listings...- Snore.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58..and, of course, reviews of books, films and local live music.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Blah, blah... Did you say live music?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06So, you want to be a reporter, yeah?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09No, I just want to review the MC BoneBag concert
0:03:09 > 0:03:12for free as a local journalist covering the burgeoning music scene,
0:03:12 > 0:03:13locally.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17HE BEATBOXES
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Shhhhh!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22No beatboxing!
0:03:22 > 0:03:27Say I happened to have review tickets for the MC BoneBag concert?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29What would you do for me?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- Anything at all. - TELEPHONE RINGS
0:03:32 > 0:03:34- You just name it. - I've got to take this.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37TELEPHONE CONTINUES TO RING
0:03:37 > 0:03:42Hello? What?! Listen, I've eaten steaks tougher than you.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43What?!
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Yeah! Oh, yeah?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Oh, speak to my lawyer.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48OK. Bye, mum.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49SHE KISSES TWICE
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Where was I?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53You were walking up and down behind your desk.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Oh, yeah.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57You said you'd do anything for those tickets.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Write me a page of news and I'll think about it.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I meant to say anything except...
0:04:02 > 0:04:04You've got till four.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06And you! Get me some photos.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10But be careful, it's a jungle out there.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11Ow!
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Shhhhhh! No paparazzi!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Writing news stories is tough. I need leads!
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- Have you got leads? - What's a lead?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26I dunno. But you need 'em for news stories.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28How about a tip? Have you got a tip?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Yes. Be a better journalist.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Being a photographer's hard, too.
0:04:32 > 0:04:33She said it's a jungle out here,
0:04:33 > 0:04:36but I have yet to see any wild creatures.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37A chimp!
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Savage servant of the Ape Lord!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Yeah! Make sure you capture my good side.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45My outside, yo!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Well, there's not really much going on in this school.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54But I managed to come up with some good stories. What do you think?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Well, I'd like these more if they were actually true.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01You made everything up. It's all lies!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- Let's call it truth-plus. - Hmmm. The 'plus' being lies.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07I mean, come on!
0:05:07 > 0:05:10"Mysterious Hopping Virus Plagues School"?
0:05:10 > 0:05:12"School Totally Collapses"?!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15But the school is falling apart. You said so yourself.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Uh-huh, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to totally collapse by Friday!
0:05:19 > 0:05:23You specifically say, "The entire school will collapse
0:05:23 > 0:05:28"at 8:15am Friday morning, crushing everybody I don't like."
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Hey, it could happen, given the right circumstances.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Multiple Godzillas.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38"My new sweater is not the ugliest thing on earth,"
0:05:38 > 0:05:41claimed a defensive Stephanie Bethany.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Too late! Presses are rolling!
0:05:44 > 0:05:45SHE MIMICS PRINTING PRESSES
0:05:45 > 0:05:49When she finds out you haven't found any real news stories,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51she's going to eat you alive.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53So, you got it?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Yeah, yeah, I got it. A-a-and it's great!
0:05:56 > 0:05:58But you can't use it. It's too controversial.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Says who?- Abercrombie.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Yeah, he said if this goes to press he'll shut down the paper.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Oh, yeah? Well, nobody threatens me or my paper.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11I'm going to put this out as a special edition.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Now, I'm off to cover a fashion show. Where's my driver?!
0:06:21 > 0:06:22What just happened here?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26I'm that much closer to getting tickets to the MC BoneBag concert.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing MC BoneBag,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33featuring Mitchell Tanner as audience member!
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Woo-hoo!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37HE BEATBOXES
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Mitchell, your hip hop lifestyle has drained all the ink.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43It's OK. We just need more ink.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45There's not much ink around these days.
0:06:48 > 0:06:54"Supplies. Property of Mr Nos-tra-damus."
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Who's Mr Nostradamus?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Oh, he was a teacher who got fired a while back,
0:06:58 > 0:07:00for being too unpredictable.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Well, then he won't mind us using his supplies.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Woo-hoo! Look at that! Gangster ink!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09That's not what the skull and crossbones means.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- What are you, a square? - No, it's just...
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- A geek?- No.- A dweeb?- Oh!
0:07:14 > 0:07:16- A dwerk? - Ugh, that's not even a word.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17It is now.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20This looks like ink, so we're going to use it.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Just leave it to Mix Master Mitchell.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Uh-oh.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Mitchell!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36No running!
0:07:36 > 0:07:37No running!
0:07:37 > 0:07:40No running! No running!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Extra! Extra!
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Special edition of The Daily Weekly!
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Read all about it!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51"Newsboy Trampled By Eager Mob"!
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Uh! Uh! Uh!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Looks like the edition's a smash hit! Good job, kid.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Isn't she younger than us? And who made her so powerful?
0:08:06 > 0:08:09You're just jealous that my make believe stories are better
0:08:09 > 0:08:10than your "reality".
0:08:10 > 0:08:14They may be entertaining, but at some point people will notice
0:08:14 > 0:08:18the school isn't collapsing, there is no outbreak of beards
0:08:18 > 0:08:21and the new rugby kit is not covered in...
0:08:21 > 0:08:22daisies?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Let's go give our opponents what they deserve.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Yeah, a nice crocheted tea cosy. Yo, yo, yo!
0:08:29 > 0:08:30I don't get it.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Me, neither. This stuff just came out my head and...
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Now, it's all coming true!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40All this, you don't think it's...?
0:08:40 > 0:08:41The ink!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I told you we shouldn't use it.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45What? No, you, I...
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Look, Becks, it's all good.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50If everything I write comes true, I'll earn my concert tickets
0:08:50 > 0:08:52and no-one gets hurt.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54Unacceptable!
0:08:54 > 0:08:59It's bad enough I have a school full of odd-looking children,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02but I simply cannot run one that's falling apart.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Sir, you all right?
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Oh, I'm all right, but you,
0:09:11 > 0:09:12you're fired!
0:09:14 > 0:09:15OK, so it's not ALL good.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Poor, Murdoch. Poor, sad, crazy, scary, Murdoch.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22HE SCREAMS AND GROWLS
0:09:22 > 0:09:25You can repair that with a sparring wrench
0:09:25 > 0:09:27and some 30/40 waterproof sealant.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32The Lord of the Apes, banished from his own kingdom.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Farewell, good ape!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38My job!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40All I've ever known!
0:09:40 > 0:09:43I've got cleaning fluid in me blood!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45HE SOBS
0:09:46 > 0:09:47I'll take that!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49And that, and that!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51By reading the story, it comes true!
0:09:51 > 0:09:54That's why we've got to get all the papers back
0:09:54 > 0:09:56before anything else happens!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Aren't you a little curious to see what happens?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01They're just getting to the "Lifestyles" section.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03"Hopping Virus Plagues School.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07"Although harmless in science lab rabbits,
0:10:07 > 0:10:11"a dangerous and hilarious new disease has spread to students.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15"It often causes the afflicted to cluck like chickens."
0:10:15 > 0:10:16CLUCKING
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Like, I did not just do that.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19CLUCKING
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Mitchell, that is really funny,
0:10:21 > 0:10:23but we can't let this get out of control.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26A few more minutes, then we destroy all the papers,
0:10:26 > 0:10:29put things back as they were and Murdoch gets his job back.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Are you sure it will work?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33No, but it makes sense, and we get to destroy stuff.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37We've got nearly all the copies back, but there's still one left.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- Why's he got a pig on his head? - That's not what I wrote.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Here we are.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51"All school authorities are now required
0:10:51 > 0:10:54"to wear pigs on their heads."
0:10:54 > 0:10:57It's a typo. I meant to write "wigs"!
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Ha! Pretty good, though! He-he-he!
0:10:59 > 0:11:01We've got to get his paper!
0:11:01 > 0:11:02I'm going in.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06(Pet the pig for me!)
0:11:06 > 0:11:12Junior Jumble crossword, you won't defeat me this time!
0:11:13 > 0:11:17An eleven letter word for "idiot".
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Hmm, that's a real pig scratcher.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22PIG OINKS
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Mitchell Tanner!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Abercrombie!
0:11:29 > 0:11:33That's it! The eleven letter word for "idiot"!
0:11:33 > 0:11:34A-B-E...
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Huh?!
0:11:35 > 0:11:37He-he-he-he!
0:11:37 > 0:11:39TANNER!
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Don't tell me, buffalo stampede?
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Sure, why not?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48I know a great hiding place!
0:11:48 > 0:11:49I hid there last maths exam.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52- I thought you were sick that day? - Sick of maths, yeah.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Have you booked the school hiding place?- No.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Then, I'm afraid, you'll have to leave.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10You can't escape me and Piggy Wiggy!
0:12:10 > 0:12:11PIG OINKS
0:12:18 > 0:12:19That was close.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Hey, look! Murdoch's still here.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25The Lord of the Apes is everywhere and nowhere.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Wherever a chimp's without a banana,
0:12:27 > 0:12:30wherever a tiny little car needs to be driven,
0:12:30 > 0:12:31where... Hey, wait up!
0:12:33 > 0:12:35He's heading for the boiler room.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38If he fires up the furnace, we can burn the papers.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Come on!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45All my life up in flames!
0:12:45 > 0:12:49I'm the world's worst caretaker!
0:12:49 > 0:12:51And we're all pretty bad to begin with!
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Murdoch, stop! I'm sure you can find another job.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Really? A useless, weird old fella that gives kids the creeps?
0:12:59 > 0:13:01You're quite good at that.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I'm good for nuthin'!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06And the school's going to collapse, thanks to my neglect!
0:13:06 > 0:13:09No, wait! It's not your fault!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11It's actually sort of funny. You're going to laugh.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13See, I wrote these articles...
0:13:13 > 0:13:14No, wait!
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Somebody else say something! Quick!
0:13:16 > 0:13:21Ape Lord, spare my friend and I shall be your loyal chimp for ever.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- OK.- Ow!
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Now I've got the creeps.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27I'm sorry, kids.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Sorry I've scared you all these years.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34I'm new here. You've only scared me for, like, a few months.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Well, that's kind, in a back-handed way.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38My speciality.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Sarcastic kids like you? Hee-hee-hee!
0:13:41 > 0:13:43You give me hope for the future.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45That's sarcastic, by the way.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47What you must think of me!
0:13:47 > 0:13:50This one here thinks I'm Lord of the Apes!
0:13:50 > 0:13:53And I always thought of you as some sort of Trash Pirate.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Arr, ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:13:56 > 0:14:01But what I really be is just the caretaker of this school.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04I just wish there was a way to stop it from collapsing.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Aside from actually repairing stuff, that is -
0:14:08 > 0:14:09that's a lot of work!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12So, you like the easy way out, too?
0:14:12 > 0:14:13- Aye.- My man!
0:14:13 > 0:14:17Look, all you have to do is burn these papers.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21You mean, we can solve the problem by destroying stuff?
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Oooh. Let's have at it!
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Not so fast!
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Burn those and you're in a heap of trouble.
0:14:30 > 0:14:36Those papers are the evidence I need to finally nail you, Tanner.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39You'll never stop me, Abercrombie!
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Wait, I'm not a super-villain, why am I talking like that?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44I'll take those, thank you.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Wait, why am I laughing like that?
0:14:52 > 0:14:54I'm just a middle-aged headmaster.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Oh, well...Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Mitchell, as long as those papers exist,
0:15:03 > 0:15:05your stories grow stronger and stronger!
0:15:05 > 0:15:06Look at you!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08You, too!
0:15:08 > 0:15:09What are we going to do?!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12BOTH: Hmmm, yes, yes, mmm...
0:15:16 > 0:15:19If we don't do something by 8:15 tomorrow morning,
0:15:19 > 0:15:22the entire school's going to collapse!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Indubitably.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Hmmm, if we can't destroy the old papers...
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Print some new ones.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Whatever are we to do?
0:15:30 > 0:15:34Print a new issue with new stories!
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Whatever shall we do, indeed?
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Print a cussed new issue with stories that tell the truth
0:15:40 > 0:15:42and you'll set everything right!
0:15:42 > 0:15:45And do it before the bloomin' building collapses,
0:15:45 > 0:15:46ya beardy nitwits!
0:15:46 > 0:15:48I know! We'll print a new issue that tells the truth
0:15:48 > 0:15:50and that'll set everything right!
0:15:50 > 0:15:51To the printing press!
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Ooh!
0:15:54 > 0:15:56You've got our new, honest stories?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Staying at school late to do extra work
0:15:59 > 0:16:03printing totally honest stories, goes against every bone in my body.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Hey!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10But you've got to do what you've got to do.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13That's good, as I believe I'm turning into a kangaroo.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Mitchell, what are you doing?
0:16:21 > 0:16:26Oh, nothing, I was just calibrating the, uh, calibratororor.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28OK, she's ready.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Full speed ahead.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Mitchell, is that a good idea?
0:16:38 > 0:16:42No worries! This baby was built for speed!
0:16:42 > 0:16:43WHIRRING BUILDS
0:16:43 > 0:16:45WHIRRING SLOWS
0:16:45 > 0:16:47No biggie.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Argh!
0:16:53 > 0:16:54NOW, it's a biggie.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58I believe I can get it restarted if I prop up the axel supports,
0:16:58 > 0:17:01recalibrate the input feeder and unjam the paper feed.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Arr, my thumb!
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Thumbs up!
0:17:24 > 0:17:288 o'clock. Only 15 minutes left until the school collapses!
0:17:28 > 0:17:30We've got to print those papers, and quick!
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Oh, no, we've got company! Bad company!
0:17:36 > 0:17:39She'll go bonkers if she catches us issuing the newspaper without her.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41What are we going to do?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43We could dazzle her with my stunning pictures.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Or, you could distract her with your considerable charm.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Women have been known to faint on my approach.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53I was talking to Mitchell.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56I'll distract her. You get going and print up the special edition!
0:18:01 > 0:18:06Croydonia, have I told you how...fetching you look today?
0:18:06 > 0:18:08(Fetching a bone, that is!)
0:18:08 > 0:18:12If it's those MC BoneBag tickets you're after, no dice.
0:18:12 > 0:18:13How about a bribe?
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Mitchell, what's going on here?
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Mostly education, bit of sport...
0:18:18 > 0:18:21I mean with you. You're up to something.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24And I know what it is.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25You do?
0:18:25 > 0:18:27You are in love with me.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- What?- I don't blame you. You're only human.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Now, me, I don't usually go for beards.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36It's a good policy. I'd stick with that!
0:18:36 > 0:18:40But, you know, me and you - maybe it could work.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Let's go to my office and discuss it.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Oh, Croydonia, I'm so sorry about this.- About what?
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Oh, what are you doin'?!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Ahhhh!
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Kissing goodbye to those BoneBag tickets.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Ooh, arr, she be news ready!
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Load up the paper and fire away!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I'm back.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06What happened?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08It's a long, disturbing story
0:19:08 > 0:19:12involving me putting the needs of the school before my own happiness,
0:19:12 > 0:19:14and if I tell it, I might cry.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16So, please, can we just print the paper?
0:19:16 > 0:19:18OK, here goes.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24PRINTER WHIRRS
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Oh, no! It's out of ink.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Ah, it's like the gods are conspiring against us!
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Why, Ape Lord, why?!
0:19:36 > 0:19:41All that work for one lousy newspaper?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Maybe we could pass it around? Make everyone share?
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Share? Stephanie? Tyson? Lucas?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Modern humans? I don't think so.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53How else can we spread the news?
0:19:53 > 0:19:56- I know! What does everybody love? - Frogs.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- What does everybody believe in? - Owls?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01What tells a news story without all the hassle of reading?
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- A friendly otter. - TV, of course!
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Good morning.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Today's lesson has been cancelled due to an urgent news bulletin
0:20:12 > 0:20:17on the emergency school television which you've never seen before
0:20:17 > 0:20:18and that's why it looks so odd.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22Oh, It must be one of them new no-screen tellies.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Here is the news.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Ahhh!
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Strange Hill is no longer falling apart...
0:20:33 > 0:20:38..and Murdoch has been reinstated as school Trash Pirate.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40It's true. Heh-heh-arrrr!
0:20:40 > 0:20:45Which means beards have disappeared, the hopping virus has been cured...
0:20:47 > 0:20:49..and, finally,
0:20:49 > 0:20:51MC BoneBag, the greatest rapper on earth,
0:20:51 > 0:20:54is going to give a free concert on the school field,
0:20:54 > 0:20:56starting right...now!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Hurray!!!!
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Mitchell, you weren't calibrating the calibratororor at all.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06I figured I might not be getting those tickets, so...
0:21:06 > 0:21:09You printed another stupid story.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12But this is awesome. Now everyone gets to see BoneBag!
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Everyone but you, Tanner.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Abercrombie!
0:21:16 > 0:21:19About this article you wrote in which I say
0:21:19 > 0:21:24I'm most pleased with my "massive year-end results."
0:21:24 > 0:21:28Except, of course, the "y" is replaced with an "r".
0:21:30 > 0:21:31I assume that's a typo?!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33I couldn't resist.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Hey!
0:21:36 > 0:21:37Nuh-ha!
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Uh-oh.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43This next song is dedicated to Mitchell Tanner.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45He couldn't be here today, so...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47# Extra, extra! Read all about it!
0:21:47 > 0:21:50# Strange Hill High's Got your sanity surrounded
0:21:50 > 0:21:52# You won't believe It'll leave you astounded
0:21:52 > 0:21:55# Rearrange your brain If you stay around it
0:21:55 > 0:21:57# Extra, extra! Read all about it! #
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
2:16:47 > 2:16:49# Rearrange your brain if you stay around it.
2:16:49 > 2:16:51# Extra, extra, read all about it! #
2:16:51 > 2:16:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd