0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Blah, blah, blah. - Blah, blah, blah.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08PTERODACTYL SCREECHES
0:00:10 > 0:00:12SHARK CRUNCHES
0:00:12 > 0:00:14BOY SCREAMS
0:00:17 > 0:00:19DRAGON ROARS
0:00:21 > 0:00:23ZOMBIE GROANS
0:00:25 > 0:00:27BOING
0:00:28 > 0:00:30DOG MUNCHES
0:00:32 > 0:00:35FAST PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:54 > 0:00:57This is incredible. It should be there but it's not.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Ah, ooh.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01I'm sorry, Dr Smashson, your brain appears to be missing.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Ah, ooh, ha.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Don't worry, Dr Smashson, you've coped without it this far,
0:01:06 > 0:01:08and besides, that's not why we're here.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12I, Stirling Holmes, am here to solve the greatest mystery of all time -
0:01:12 > 0:01:14The Strange Case of the Missing Homework.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18DUN DUN DUN
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Good title. And we're going to solve the case in this house.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- Ha-ha-ha, hoo-hoo-hoo. - OK, Dr Smashson, let's go.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Heh, hoo-hoo-ha-ha-hoo.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Hmm-hmm-hmm-hoo.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37You, sir!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I am Stirling Holmes, the greatest detective of all time,
0:01:40 > 0:01:43and pieces of the CBBC show The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:01:43 > 0:01:46presented by the greatest TV presenter of all time,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48have gone missing and I'm not leaving here
0:01:48 > 0:01:51until you tell me where the missing pieces are.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53What's that? The silent type, eh?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Well, I'm going to look on your personage for clues
0:01:55 > 0:01:59and there's nothing you can do about it, because you've not got any arms.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Hoo-hoo-hoo.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Woohoo, hoo-hoo, ha-ha-ha.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Dr Smashson, we must stick to the point
0:02:06 > 0:02:08if we're to find these missing clues.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Ha, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, hee.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14You're right, this is tougher than I expected. There are no clues here.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Hmm? Hoo. - We need to go further on inside.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20HE GRUMBLES
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Hoo!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:25 > 0:02:28OK, it's the point of the show where I get to use a pointy stick -
0:02:28 > 0:02:32- it's Stick To The Point. - ANNOUNCER: Stick To The Point.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34So listen up, teams, this round moves fast.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I'm going to ask a question. They've got lots of answers
0:02:37 > 0:02:39and I want quickfire answers. When I point to you, you have to
0:02:39 > 0:02:42give them as quickly as you can, no repeating yourself.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45The first topic is "things in the sky".
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Romesh.- Clouds.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49- Ooh-hoo! Ashleigh.- Planes.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- James.- Birds.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- Gabriel.- Tree leaves.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58- Louisa.- Eggs.- Eggs.- Eggs.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59- Eggs.- Eggs.- I support...
0:02:59 > 0:03:03A bird flying and then, oopsie, forgot, then drops one.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- Like a...- Eggs. - "Oh, I see somebody I don't like.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08"There, have an egg in your face, mate. How do you like that?"
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Chris.- Superman.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- Very good answer. Gold star for a comic book reference.- Yes.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- James Acaster.- Hang-glider.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Whoa, it's left of field.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I'm going to give you a gold star,
0:03:21 > 0:03:24cos I picture the hang-glider dressed as Superman.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Correct. COOING AND LAUGHTER
0:03:26 > 0:03:27- Louisa.- Rain.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31Rain, yes, for a very short time and then on your head.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Chris.- UFOs.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Yes. Romesh.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39A lost kite was flying about, bumped into a bird,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- bird got so scared, dropped an egg. - LAUGHTER
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Gabriel.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- BUZZER - Oh, shush position, young man.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48- Louisa.- Flies.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50- Flies. Ashleigh.- Pluto.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- James.- Pie.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57- Like the popular phrase... - "..A sky of pie."
0:03:57 > 0:04:02- Chris.- My gran skydiving. LAUGHTER
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Romesh.- Chris' gran's parachute.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07LAUGHTER
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Ashleigh.- Mars.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- Louisa.- Hmm.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14BUZZER
0:04:14 > 0:04:16LAUGHTER
0:04:16 > 0:04:20Louisa just went... "Nah."
0:04:20 > 0:04:21- Ashleigh.- Moon.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- Ashleigh.- Ah, something...
0:04:23 > 0:04:25The other planets in the sky.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- BUZZER - Oh, get in the shush position.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Romesh.- Bats.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Don't know why you were so aggressive with it
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- but I'll accept your answer. - Thank you.
0:04:33 > 0:04:39- Chris.- Romesh being fired out of a cannon, flying through the sky.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41That happened ONCE, all right?
0:04:42 > 0:04:43- Chris.- Oh...
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Romesh being fired out of a cannon, flying through the sky...
0:04:46 > 0:04:49laying an egg. LAUGHTER
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Get in the shush position. - BUZZER
0:04:51 > 0:04:53The points go to Louisa's team for that one.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56CHEERING
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Dr Smashson, look at all these books.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Hoo-hoo-hoo.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06And all the history locked inside their pages.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08I believe history should be brought back to life
0:05:08 > 0:05:11but we need someone who is an incredible actor.
0:05:11 > 0:05:12Hoo, ha-ha-ha.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15With enough of an ability that a few subtle nuances in performance,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- a simple prop...- Oh-ho!
0:05:18 > 0:05:21..can transform into a character from history.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Hmm, hmm, hoo-hoo-hoo.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28Dr Smashson, do you know anyone that fits that description?
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Oh, ugh, ooh, hoo-hoo.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Of course you don't.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Anyway, let's talk about the missing homework.- Hoo?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40This has got all the hallmarks of evil dog genius Professor Dogiarty.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Ooh-hoo? Ooh.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45We must find him.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Ooh-hoo. Hoo?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:50 > 0:05:53But now it's time for a round that's so good,
0:05:53 > 0:05:55it's already gone down in history.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58It's time for everyone's favourite part of the show -
0:05:58 > 0:06:00it's Who Do You Think I Am?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:02 > 0:06:05CONTESTANTS GROAN
0:06:05 > 0:06:07OK, yes, prepare to be astounded
0:06:07 > 0:06:09as I use my incredible acting talent
0:06:09 > 0:06:12to bring to life famous characters from the past.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14And it's your laughably easy task
0:06:14 > 0:06:19to guess which historical figure I've become. Here we go!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22CHEERING
0:06:27 > 0:06:31OK, here we go, ahem. Get into character.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- ITALIAN ACCENT:- I am an Italian man.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36I'm from Italy.
0:06:36 > 0:06:37- Are you?- Yes.- Yeah!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- You sound like you're from Estonia. - No,
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I sailed across the seas with Santa
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- and all my mates are called Maria. - BELLS JINGLE
0:06:45 > 0:06:46No, wait, sorry.
0:06:46 > 0:06:52Sorry, I sailed across the sea in a ship called the Santa Maria.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- Right.- Oh, right, I get it now. - Right.- Any ideas, guys?
0:06:55 > 0:06:59Who am I? Who am I?
0:06:59 > 0:07:03- I'm Italian. Italian. - Is it Dumbledore's cousin?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Dumbledore's cousin?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Well, it could be.- So, you're a woman with a very big beard.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- I'm a man!- Are you a bearded lady, or is that...?
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- I'm an Italian man. - That could be...OK.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Here we go. Get back into character, cos otherwise I'll look stupid.
0:07:19 > 0:07:24Men peoples think I set out to prove the Earth wasn't flat.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- Right, that-that...nothing there made any sense whatsoever.- No, no.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29You're going to have to repeat that.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- Yeah.- Is it because of the beard
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- or just because you're not a very good actor?- I got nothing there.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Many peoples think I set out
0:07:38 > 0:07:41to prove the world isn't flat.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42But I didn't.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I thought the Earth was shaped like a pear
0:07:44 > 0:07:47and I was put in charge of many ships.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- Is that a ship? I'm in charge of it. - LAUGHTER
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Are you Captain Birdseye?
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- I've got a drumstick. No, I'm not him.- Ha-ha-ha!
0:07:56 > 0:07:59I'll give you my final clue. So I'm an Italian man.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02- That's quite nice. - I'm holding a pear, but why?
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Some people say I discovered something
0:08:05 > 0:08:08when I was looking for something else. Some say I discovered America.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- I did not discover America. - No, you discovered a pear.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- I have no idea where I'm from right now, OK...- OK.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17It was not my fault that it was somewhere else.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20It's very confusing when you're going round and round the world
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- and it all goes a bit pear-shaped. - Got it.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24But my question to you is "Who am I?"
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Is it Christopher Columbus?
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Let's find out. I can tell you all right now, that I am...
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Boo, I'm Christopher Columbus!
0:08:32 > 0:08:35- Yes!- Yay! - CHEERING
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Yeah!
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Italian explorer and master of navigation,
0:08:41 > 0:08:43who opened the way for European exploration.
0:08:43 > 0:08:48But sadly he didn't discover America as the Vikings got there first -
0:08:48 > 0:08:50five centuries earlier.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52- Oh, wow.- Did you know that? Madness.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- Clue number one.- OK. - OK, here we go.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- HIGH VOICE:- Ah, hee-hee.
0:08:59 > 0:09:06I'm one of the most beautiful ladies there's ever been in history.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10And I've been played by some of the world's most beautiful actors.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15Even now, I'm being personified by the hunk thespian, Iain Stirling.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- LAUGHTER - He's such a good actor.- Hmm.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Who am I?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22ALL THREE: Wow.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24It...do you know? It's a very similar accent
0:09:24 > 0:09:27to the English man that you played.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30- Oh, no, this is a beautiful lady accent.- Oh, because of the hair?
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- Yes.- Because that's what all women do when they're being a woman.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35- Yeah, they do this.- They do that...?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- They walk into home, they go "Hello!"- Could you do...Iain?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- I'm a lady!- Iain, could you do me a favour, just so I...?
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Cos I'm just not quite getting it.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Could you just walk around a bit as a woman,
0:09:45 > 0:09:50- so I can see how she moves as a woman?- Thanks for asking, Susan.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52It's OK. Just give me a...
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Oh, hello! I'm a lady!
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- Right.- A marching lady.- Right, I'm going to give you clue two.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01- Right.- Clue two.- Two.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05I'm dead good at make-up but I need someone to practise on.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09- Come over here.- Hoo-hoo. - Oh, hello, slave.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- KNOCK ON COCONUT - How are you? Nice to meet you.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- HE GRUMBLES - Don't breathe on me, OK...
0:10:15 > 0:10:18What I like best is to use crushed beetles,
0:10:18 > 0:10:22and I used to put them on like lipstick.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Bit of crushed beetles there, there you go.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- Crushed beetles on the lips, like that.- Are you Madonna?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- I am not Madonna.- Are Lady Gaga?
0:10:31 > 0:10:32- No, I'm not Lady... - Are you Rita Ora?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- Stop mentioning ladies. - No, I've got it, I've got it.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40Can you do me a favour, though? Can you try and moonwalk?
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Moonwalk...- That's definitely MJ. If that's not Michael Jackson,
0:10:43 > 0:10:45- then I don't know how to play this game.- Yeah.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48- Yeah.- Michael Jackson? I'm a lady! - LAUGHTER
0:10:48 > 0:10:52- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Apart from that small, small detail.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- You are Michael Jackson. - I am not Michael Jackson!
0:10:56 > 0:11:01I was the first peoples to do this, and hopefully the last.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- IN OWN VOICE:- Stop! I mean, stop finding it funny.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Do you think this is funny, do you? Yeah?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- LAUGHTER - This isn't funny!
0:11:09 > 0:11:13What's funny about this? Stop laughing.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16This isn't funny.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Iain, are you Davina McCall?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23You do look quite like Davina McCall.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Last clue of this section. Here we go...
0:11:26 > 0:11:30- WOMAN'S VOICE:- It's rumoured that I may have been bathed in milk.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Oh, milk.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37- Milky, milk, milk.- Yeah, yeah. - LAUGHTER
0:11:37 > 0:11:41- AS IAIN:- I am so sorry. - AS WOMAN:- Milky, milk, milk.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Who am I?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- OK, hold on, right. Do you think you know who it is, Pavan?- Yeah.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- Do you? Are you confident? - Yeah, yes. Cleopatra.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Oh, I can tell you now that I am in fact...
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Cleopatra! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:57 > 0:12:01Thank you Smashy, off you go, mate. Thank you!
0:12:01 > 0:12:05Yes, I was Cleopatra, the last ever Queen of Egypt.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12MUSIC: Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
0:12:12 > 0:12:16# Ha, hoo ha Hoo-hoo-hoo ha hoo ha. #
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Dr Smashson, the violin helps me concentrate.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Ha-ha, hoo-hoo-ha.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25HE PLAYS VIOLIN
0:12:27 > 0:12:30HE PLAYS VIOLIN
0:12:32 > 0:12:35# Hoo, hoo-hoo Ha-ha-ha hoo-hoo-hoo... #
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- How am I meant to sort this case with all these distractions?- Hmm...
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- If it's not you, then it's your partner, Mrs Mashson.- Hmm? Ooh?
0:12:42 > 0:12:47Honestly...although I do suppose two heads are better than one.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Mm-hmm, ha-ha-ha.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55# Ha, ha-ha Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
0:12:55 > 0:12:57# Ha, hoo-ha Hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
0:12:57 > 0:12:59# Ha-a-a-oo-ooh. #
0:12:59 > 0:13:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:03 > 0:13:07ANNOUNCER: It's time for Smashy-oke.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- # La-la-la-la-la-la-la. # - Oh...
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Guys, what an exciting treat we have in store for you.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Mr Smash is doing some Smashy-oke.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17You can get a bonus gold star here
0:13:17 > 0:13:21if you can guess what it is Mr Smash is singing.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- You're a very talented singer, aren't you, Mr Smash?- Ha-ra!
0:13:23 > 0:13:27OK, Smashy, take it away.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30# Ha-ya La-la-la-la-la-la
0:13:30 > 0:13:32# Ha, la-ha
0:13:32 > 0:13:35# Ha-ha, la-la-la-la-la-la
0:13:35 > 0:13:37# Ha, ha, ah-ha-ha
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- # Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hoo... # - LAUGHTER
0:13:41 > 0:13:43# Hoo-ha, hoo-ha
0:13:43 > 0:13:46# Hoo-ha, hoo Hiya-ha
0:13:46 > 0:13:48# Ha
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- HE YODELS LIKE TARZAN - OK, OK, OK.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54HE HOWLS
0:13:54 > 0:13:57We-we-we got the idea. Thank you. Give it up for Mr Smash, everybody.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- What a lovely little rendition. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Luckily, that is not available for download.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05But, Callum's team, quickly,
0:14:05 > 0:14:08what do you think Mr Smashy was singing there?
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- It-it was actually a song? - It was a song, yeah.- A song, OK.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17- Was it his own song?- No, it was a very popular, popular pop hit.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18I was just so dazzled by the dance move
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- that I wasn't really listening. - Do you want to see the drop again?
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- Yes, do it.- Do the drop one more time, please.- Do it, go.
0:14:23 > 0:14:28- Go on, do it. Work it.- Whoo! - HE HOWLS
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Very gorgeous. All right, I'll have to push you for an answer.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33- What is your answer? What you think it was?- OK.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37- I'm going to say I Will Always Love You.- I Will Always Love You.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Thank you, Callum. What's your answer? I'm joking.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43OK, Grace's team, what are you thinking?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Hit Me Baby One More Time.- All right, Hit Me Baby One More Time.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Right, Mr Smash, what were you singing? Take it away.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51MUSIC: I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift
0:14:51 > 0:14:54# I knew you were trouble when you walked in
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- # So shame on me now - Hoo-ha-ha-hoo
0:14:56 > 0:15:00- # Flew me to places I'd never been - Ha-hoo-hoo, ha-hoo
0:15:00 > 0:15:02# Now I'm lying on the cold, hard ground
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- # Oh... # - Ooh, ah!
0:15:05 > 0:15:08- Ah! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Give it up for Mr Smash. Good day, sir. Good day, sir.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16All right, guys. Well done.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Don't worry, always got the homework from Nina's team. So, Nin...
0:15:19 > 0:15:21ANNOUNCER: Schoo-oo-ool Disco.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Classical school disco.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28MUSIC: Dance Of The Little Swans by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
0:15:42 > 0:15:44MUSIC CUTS OUT
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Dr Smashson, we are close to solving this case, I can feel it.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52I have done some more clues to lead us towards the homework.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56I've got a dictionary of unusual words,
0:15:56 > 0:15:59a big book of science facts with words blanked out,
0:15:59 > 0:16:01and this marker pen.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- I'm sure they will help us solve this case.- Mm-hm.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Dr Smashson, you found another clue.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10Let me just check it.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Hmm, yeah, it's still warm. That means Professor Dogiarty
0:16:14 > 0:16:17is still in the building. We must find him.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Toilet flushes
0:16:22 > 0:16:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Next up, it's time to put the fizz into Physics
0:16:27 > 0:16:29and the BO into Biology.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- Oh, dear. It's Weird Science. - AUDIENCE GROANS AND LAUGHS
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Let's see if you can make sense of these amazing scientific facts.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37All you have to do is fill in the blanks.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40I want answers that are odd as your Physics teacher's socks
0:16:40 > 0:16:42or funnier than a Chemistry teacher's jumper.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Here comes the first fact.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48One in three people need to blank after they look at the blank blank.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Mark.- Need to wee after they look at a waterfall.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55- BUZZER - You must... You must be a nightmare to go on holiday with.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Just your girlfriend going, "Oh, what a lovely waterfall."
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- You're like, "Yeah, I need to change my trousers."- I need to wee...
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- Naomi.- One in three people need to have a little lie down
0:17:04 > 0:17:09- and fan themselves after they look at Sam Nixon.- Oh...eh? Cheeky!
0:17:09 > 0:17:13If that had been Iain Stirling, you would have got yourself a gold star.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Oh...- Darn it!- Yes, Nina. - One in three people need to
0:17:16 > 0:17:19calm themselves down after they look at Iain Stirling.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- Well done.- Gold star to Nina.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Any more? Luke.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27One in three people need to cry after they look at their mirror.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30HE SOBS
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Ah!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- Got it, come on. - What, what? Dodge, go.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39One in three people need to sneeze after they look at the sunshine.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42I'm going to give you that. It's one in three people need to sneeze
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- after they look at bright light. It's correct.- Yeah!
0:17:44 > 0:17:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Now, it is time for Say Wha-a-a-at?
0:17:55 > 0:17:58ANNOUNCER: Say Wha-a-a-at?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Weird and mysterious words will appear on the screens
0:18:00 > 0:18:03and the teams have to tell me what they mean.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07A serious bit of bling for the best and funniest guesses.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Right, here we go. Our first one.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Here it is here, but what does it mean? Leah.
0:18:11 > 0:18:16- I think it means, like, cos it's got "fart" then "kontrol".- Yeah.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19It's when you fart but you keep it, like, on, like, a high pitch.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Instead of going pffffft. It goes pffffff.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26So you, sort of, tune yourself.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Whooooo. Like, you can play Let It Go.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Pfft pfft pfft.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Wait, I know what it is. - What, what is it?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Am I allowed to buzz the thing? - Buzz in, yeah.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- Yeah, you're in the show, of course...- Can I?- Stop it!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Is it a type of officer
0:18:43 > 0:18:48who comes to control the type of...farts
0:18:48 > 0:18:54that people are doing? So, it's like, you would call 999.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56They'd say, "Which service do you need?"
0:18:56 > 0:18:59And you'd say, "I need Fartkontrol." LAUGHTER
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- What, like pest control? - Yeah, like pest control.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Like, you'd call the council, but it's like fart control.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- HORN HONKS - Oh, Sam.- Honk honk.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Mine's on similar lines to Dominique's.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14You know how, like, NASA has Mission Control?
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Ha-ha-ha-ha, yes!
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Well, Fartkontrol is the name of the hub.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23All farts that have ever happened have been recorded...
0:19:23 > 0:19:25in Fartkontrol.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26I'm going to give you the answer.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28It is a Danish word
0:19:28 > 0:19:33- and it means "speed control" in Danish.- Oh...- Ah.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35What's that, Sam? How's it pronounced?
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- Oh, yeah, how's it pronounced? - Thanks for asking me.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40It's pronounced a little something like this.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43IN DEEP VOICE: Fartkontrol.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44- Ha-ha.- Ha-ha.
0:19:46 > 0:19:51Three, two, one, go! What are they drawing? What are they drawing?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54A sun. A flower, sunflower.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Fish? A fish?
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Projectile vomit.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01A man? A parrot? A parrot.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03- A parrot.- Parrot, parrot.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Vomit, vomit parrot. - So why would the parrot vomit?
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- Why vomit?- Why would it vomit? - Why would a parrot vomit?
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- Sick as a parrot! Sick as a parrot! - Sick as a parrot, correct!
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Take them down, take them down.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- Lloyd's team get a point. - CHEERING
0:20:17 > 0:20:21OK, here we go. Three, two, one...draw!
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- What are they drawing?- OK, erm...
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- Oh...oh, oh.- A shoe...
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- What's that, then? What is this? - Driving around the bend.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32- It's misspelled.- No, it's not round the bend.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34- Christmas, something...- Christmas?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Is that a stocking...face? - What is it?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- What is this?- Sock! It's a sock!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Where's...?- Sock, sock...
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Foot in the mouth.- Sock!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Sock in the mouth.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Like, the red, the colour red.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52You have to be quiet. It's got to be quiet.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Put...a sock in it! Put a sock in it.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56- Put a sock in it!- Yes!
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Time's up. We've got it right.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Three, two, one...get going!
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- Banana!- Banana?- Sunflower, erm... - Tree.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15- Tree...- Tree, is it a tree? Is it a jungle tree?- Leaf, tree.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19Tree, swan, a bird. I know.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21I know, I know, I know.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Feather boa, feather...
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- Feathery.- The dove thing? Is it a dove thing?
0:21:26 > 0:21:31- Bird. Feather, bird wing. - No, it's not that.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33- Birds of a feather!- Yes, Inel!
0:21:33 > 0:21:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:37 > 0:21:41- Birds of a feather. - Birds of a feather?- Ha-ha-ha.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- I've been sick on the page, Johnny. - LAUGHTER
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- Sausages.- Hmm-hmm-hmm.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54- Underpants.- Hmm.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Volcano.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59All of these words are seemingly unconnected
0:21:59 > 0:22:03but they're linked in some way.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Squirrel?- Hoo, hoo, hoo-hoo.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Hmm, I thought I'd solved this case but Professor Dogiarty
0:22:09 > 0:22:13seems one step ahead. Come on, let's investigate further.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Cabbages?- Hmm, blurgh.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Take a thing off of a dad. Name!
0:22:24 > 0:22:26- Andy.- What's your word, Andy?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Kebab. LAUGHTER
0:22:30 > 0:22:34- What are you having for tea tonight, Andy?- Kebab.- I thought as much.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- Sir, what's your name?- Yossi. - Yossi, what a great name.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- And what's your word? - Antidisestablishmentarianism.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42That's easy for you to say. OK...
0:22:42 > 0:22:43- What's your name?- Kayla.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Kayla, what's your word?- Broccoli.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Ugh. Do you like broccoli?- Yeah.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- No way...how?- Cos I do.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Give me one reason for liking broccoli.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58- Because it tastes nice. - It tastes like evil trees.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Coming over. I'm...
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- Don't look at my bum! - LAUGHTER
0:23:04 > 0:23:05- What's your name?- Erin.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08- And what's your word, Erin? - Poppycock.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Poppycock.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13- That's a very posh word. Is this your mother?- Yeah.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- What's your name, Mother?- Claire. - What is your word, Claire?
0:23:16 > 0:23:20- Scrumptious. - Oh, poppycock, scrumptious.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23We're all going to go down the meadow, come on!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- What's your name, buddy?- Marcellus.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Marcellus? I did not see that coming.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Good name. What's your word?
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Erm, swagilicious.- Swagilicious?
0:23:33 > 0:23:35We could be like a boy band, couldn't we?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37You guys need to cheer up,
0:23:37 > 0:23:40we're not going to have a number one looking all miserable and all that.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Oh, aye, it's the old man and the three miserable lads.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Look, come stand here.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Look, go up a bit higher, will you?
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Look, it's me, 50 years ago. - LAUGHTER
0:23:54 > 0:23:57- Trendy Dad, what's your name? - Patrick.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01You look like Wolverine's dad.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06- Are you going to stare at me? - LAUGHTER
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- Yes.- I'll not be the first one to blink, young man.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18- Daargh! Nightmare! - APPLAUSE
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Dr Smashson, now we have all this evidence
0:24:22 > 0:24:24we will surely capture Professor Dogiarty.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27We just need to make sure none of it is destroyed.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Achoo! - GNOME SMASHES
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Come with me.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38OK, guys. I am going to give you a maths problem.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41You act it out using your props to try and get the correct answer.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Here we go. Ahem.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Jermain has a feather boa,
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- as he's going to a party. - There you go, got one.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Sarah has twice as many feather boas as Jermain,
0:24:51 > 0:24:54as she's going to a feather boa festival.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Katherine has two more feather boas
0:24:56 > 0:24:58than Jermain and Sarah put together.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01She didn't get invited to the festival but wants to show
0:25:01 > 0:25:04she doesn't need other people to have fun with some feather boas.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Percelle needs to take a massive pencil into school
0:25:07 > 0:25:10so that he can doodle cats whilst the teacher is talking.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Mizzi needs twice as many pencils, as she likes to doodle
0:25:12 > 0:25:14even bigger cats than Percelle.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Susan needs to take one more pencil than Mizzi -
0:25:17 > 0:25:19two for doodling and one to use as a stake,
0:25:19 > 0:25:22in case of a vampire attack.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Susan does not like vampires.
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Michael has two gnomes,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29which will hopefully scare off his neighbour's dog.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Nihal has no gnomes because he thinks they look weird.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Bobby has three gnomes more then Michael
0:25:34 > 0:25:38because he thinks Nihal looks weird and wants to scare him off.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42JP notices it might rain so takes an umbrella.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43Dan is also worried about the rain,
0:25:43 > 0:25:46so takes three times as many umbrellas as JP.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47But because he's a nice guy,
0:25:47 > 0:25:51- he shares those umbrellas between his team-mates.- Here you are.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Percelle has History,
0:25:53 > 0:25:55so takes a pair of glasses so that he can see the board.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Mizzi sits twice as far away from Percelle,
0:25:57 > 0:26:00so needs twice as many pairs of glasses.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Susan takes four times as many glasses as Percelle.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05She wears one pair to look cool,
0:26:05 > 0:26:08keeps one pair to use as a disguise in case of a vampire attack,
0:26:08 > 0:26:12and gives the other pairs to her team-mates, to keep them safe too.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16She picks up the thing that fell off of her head.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Michael has two giant foam hands, one for each hand.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Bobby has twice as many foam hands as Michael -
0:26:23 > 0:26:28one on each hand and one on each foot.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33Nihal has half as many foam hands as Michael, times two,
0:26:33 > 0:26:36plus an extra two, plus an extra three,
0:26:36 > 0:26:38minus one, and then halved.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- You know...- On you go, Nihal. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:47 > 0:26:51- Ah!- Grr.- Professor Dogiarty... and the missing homework.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55We've caught you red-handed, or should I say, red-PAWED.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59Hand it over, come on. Give it here.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03- Dr Smashson, please look after that. - Mm-hm.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- I think we can consider...- Grr.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07..The Strange Case of the Missing Homework solved.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10And you, sir, are going to the doghouse.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14- SMASHSON MUNCHES - What do you mean, no, you're not?
0:27:14 > 0:27:18The evidence is in the safe hands of Dr Smashson.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20DOGIARTY GIGGLES
0:27:20 > 0:27:23the evidence is in the safe mouth of Dr Smashson.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26HE GULPS AND BELCHES
0:27:26 > 0:27:28The evidence is in the stomach of Dr Smashson.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Now, this is awkward, now, cos we're going to end it on...
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Just have to end the show.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37- See you all next time on... - ..Hoo-ha-ha-hoo-hoo.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- The Dog Ate My Homework. - Hoo-hoo.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42See you! (You're an idiot.)