0:00:31 > 0:00:33APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Hello, and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:00:44 > 0:00:46CBBC's best excuse for a panel show.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50I'm Iain Stirling, and I'm here to raise smiles as well as standards.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53So, warm up your chuckle muscles. Here's today's announcements.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57The school library has been told it's trying to hard to save
0:00:57 > 0:01:00money after it revealed its new set of bookends.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02LAUGHTER
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Dirty plates in the school canteen show that broccoli
0:01:07 > 0:01:08is as popular as ever.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10LAUGHTER
0:01:10 > 0:01:13And in PSE, year six have been learning how to
0:01:13 > 0:01:16ensure their deodorant dries properly.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18LAUGHTER
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Let's take the register
0:01:21 > 0:01:24and find out who wants to be top of the class today.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- On my left, we have Jamie.- Hello. - Thanks for coming.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32We are joined by grumpy-chopped comedian Romesh Ranganathan.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Here, sir.
0:01:33 > 0:01:38- And the very funny Vic Cook. - Here, Iain.- Thank you.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Mash them together and you get Jamvicesh.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42LAUGHTER
0:01:42 > 0:01:48On my right, we have Roma, who is joined by funster Bec Hill,
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- and TV joker Joel Dommett.- Here.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55- Squeeze them together and you get Rojobec.- Wow.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59That is an appalling face.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02That looks like one of the boys from Westlife.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Joel, I think you suit a ribbon in your hair.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- Where did you get that? - I made it myself, I knitted it.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- It's beautiful, right?- It makes you look even more handsome,
0:02:11 > 0:02:14if that's even possible, because you're amazing looking!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Stop it, Iain.- Who in the audience thinks Joel is a bit of a hottie?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Thanks, guys.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Thanks. See you later. I'm off!- Absolutely nobody.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26You don't look as bad as this monstrosity.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Vic, do you have a beard normally?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Yeah, I had a shave for today.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34She had to come in early this morning so that they could...
0:02:34 > 0:02:37OK, so, please, everyone, give it up for today's teams!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Right, enough faffing, let's talk you guys through this thing.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Win a round and you get to hand in some of this homework.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Whoever hands in the most homework overall walks away with the show.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55The team that hands in the least, however, will be
0:02:55 > 0:02:57getting detention at the hands of our PE teacher,
0:02:57 > 0:03:00a man whose identical twin brother is a monster truck.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01It is Mr Smash.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Ra-a-a-a-ar!
0:03:05 > 0:03:08- Mate, there's a little parcel for you under the desk.- Huh?!
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Yes, a little parcel for you. There you go.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Careful not to stretch it, Smashy.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19There you go.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23It's a bit long in the arms, but you could maybe put it in a hot wash,
0:03:23 > 0:03:24couldn't you?
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Ra-a-a-aar!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29That's a bit uncalled for.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31LAUGHTER
0:03:38 > 0:03:40JAUNTY MUSIC
0:03:44 > 0:03:46APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:03:49 > 0:03:52That's the best thing I've ever seen.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Remember, as far as points go, it's Iain's school, so it's...
0:03:55 > 0:03:58ALL: Iain's rules!
0:03:58 > 0:03:59Let's do it.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Body language is what this next round is all about.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10I will ask you simple questions and all you have to do is spell
0:04:10 > 0:04:14out the three letter answers with your bodies.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16So, Roma's team, you guys are up first.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Please make your way to the front.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27- Stretch it out, guys, stretch it out. - Joel does a bit of yoga, don't you?
0:04:27 > 0:04:28I've been known to do it.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Is there anything embarrassing about doing yoga?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Every now and then someone lets out a little parp. It's not nice.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37- What's the worst move for the parpage?- Isn't that that one?
0:04:37 > 0:04:42- Oh, he's dropped one. - Oh, I can smell it from here.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46OK, guys, your time starts now.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- What animal says woof? - AUDIENCE:- Dog!
0:04:49 > 0:04:52We need to address whether we're doing capitals or lower case.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- Just make a D!- I'm making a D, I'm making a D.- OK.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Instead of buttons, your school jacket might have this.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00- AUDIENCE:- Zip!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- No, the other way!- There we go.
0:05:05 > 0:05:11- Great. If you jump in the school pool, you might get...- Wet!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Other way, the other way!
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- What is that?!- It's a W!- OK.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- A wise bird that makes a hooting sound?- Owl.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Did I get it the wrong way round?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27That a renegade L, Bec.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Something a builder drives.- Van!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Wait, I'm going back.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- Another word for a toilet.- Loo!
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- Wait, no, it's this way.- No, it isn't!- BELL RINGS
0:05:45 > 0:05:46There you go.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50OK, Jamie's team, out you come.
0:05:53 > 0:05:58- You guys ready?- Sort of, yeah.- OK, here you go. Your time starts now.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- You get these on your face when you are a teenager.- Zit!
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- How do you do...?- Yes, you see! Not as easy as you thought, Romesh!
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Teachers drink out of this in the staff room.- Mug!
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- Romesh is one of these.- Oi!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- That's a T! You're a tug. - You can't drink from a tug.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- Hang on, I'll do that.- Yes.
0:06:19 > 0:06:24- A teacher might do this with their finger when you misbehave.- Wag!
0:06:24 > 0:06:30- See? My W was incredible. - What is that, Vic?- This is G.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- You look like you're trying to mime wagging.- OK. Next one.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38- You hit a golf ball off one of these.- Tee!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Do Es immediately!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Romesh gets angrier as this goes on.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46- Another word for taxi.- Cab.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48What are you doing?
0:06:48 > 0:06:52You're making Joel look good right now!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- The opposite of bottom.- Top.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- BELL RINGS - Time is up.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Head back to your seats, please.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04APPLAUSE
0:07:04 > 0:07:09OK. Well, Jamie's team, you spelt the most words correctly,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12so you, Jamie, can hand in your homework.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13Come on.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15APPLAUSE
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Next up is the round where we... - KNOCKING
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Hello, who is it?
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- It's Eve from class 4B. - In you come, Eve from class 4B.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Eve, have you joined the school orchestra?- Nope.
0:07:31 > 0:07:37- You've taken up the cello.- No. But I have taken up the triangle.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Then what's with the cello case?
0:07:39 > 0:07:43With this, I get a double seat on the bus.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Note for you, Iain.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49- Thanks very much, Eve. Give it up for Eve, everybody.- Bye!
0:07:49 > 0:07:50APPLAUSE
0:07:52 > 0:07:55A school note here for everyone.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58"A big congratulations to Ms Truman from English on gaining
0:07:58 > 0:08:00"her black belt.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03"Apparently, it goes really well with her shoes and bag."
0:08:03 > 0:08:05LAUGHTER
0:08:06 > 0:08:11Awesomeness alert! Yes, it's time for Who Do You Think I Am?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Oh, no, not this one.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Yes, this round brings our teams to their knees
0:08:17 > 0:08:19in appreciation.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- I thought it was torture. - It's not torture, mate. It's art.
0:08:23 > 0:08:28Let's open the box and reveal the treasures inside. Come on!
0:08:28 > 0:08:29APPLAUSE
0:08:34 > 0:08:39It's time for the first character, and it's going to go to Roma's team.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43- Rubbish presenter!- We're not guessing yet, mate.- Sorry.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Less of the attitude.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Rubbish presenter with wings. - Shut up!
0:08:48 > 0:08:51We haven't started. You can be quiet!
0:08:51 > 0:08:53LAUGHTER
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Rubbish presenter with a weird golf hat that my grandad wears.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04- All right, I'm Jamie's grandad. - Why have you got so many things on?
0:09:04 > 0:09:10- Are you a fly?- Shut up!- Are you McFly?- No!- Are you Marty McFly?
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- Stop saying fly! - ALL: Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly!
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Stop saying fly all the time!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21You're all making a fool of yourselves,
0:09:21 > 0:09:23let me get into character. Here we go. First clue.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27- HIGH PITCHED:- I am an American lady.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30You sound like Mrs Doubtfire. Mrs Doubtfly!
0:09:30 > 0:09:33No! And you can stop laughing as well!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35LAUGHTER
0:09:36 > 0:09:38OK. Next clue.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- HIGH PITCHED:- I'm famous for crossing the pond,
0:09:41 > 0:09:47and my surname is kind of like two parts of the body. Who am I?
0:09:47 > 0:09:48- Amy Facebottom.- No!
0:09:48 > 0:09:52I'm a famous person. Who's heard of Amy Facebottom?!
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Debra Elbowbottom.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58- Stop saying bottom! - Does it have bottom in it?- No!
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Third clue, here we go.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04- HIGH PITCHED:- You can see me in Night At The Museum II.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08I'm also known as the Queen of the Air. Who am I?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Tinkerbell!- No!
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I can't remember her first name. Was it Amelia Earhart?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17I am Amelia Earhart.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:10:21 > 0:10:24The American aviator and first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Jamie's team, are you ready for character number two?
0:10:28 > 0:10:29To be honest, we had a chat,
0:10:29 > 0:10:32we're not that bothered about doing it.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- Like, do you want to just knock it on the head?- OK, buddy.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- It's time for your character. - So, we are actually doing it.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- We have no choice.- Of course. - Can I take a guess?
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- I think you're a presenter out of ideas.- OK.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49I am an English man that writes a lot.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- Whats a lot?- Writes a lot.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Who's your drama teacher, Super Mario?
0:10:56 > 0:11:01- Are you a dog that's had an operation?- What is that?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04It's a ruff.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- It is so rough, mate, I can't tell you how rough it is.- Next clue.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11- Iain, I didn't know you were bringing your girlfriend!- Ohh!
0:11:11 > 0:11:16- Iain, can I have your head?- Why? - I just want to try something.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20That's pretty creepy.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22APPLAUSE
0:11:26 > 0:11:29OK. Let's stop messing about.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31I'll do a bit of acting.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38"But not as well as my bottom.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41"My bottom is super famous."
0:11:41 > 0:11:43LAUGHTER
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- Beyonce.- No!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Clue number three. This is a globe.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Globe is a great name for a theatre.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Are you going on holiday to the beach?
0:11:57 > 0:12:00A man in casualty who's got amnesia.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Can you tell me who I might be?
0:12:04 > 0:12:09- I cannot remember.- No! - Lady Gaga!- No, Lady Gaga?!
0:12:11 > 0:12:17- I think I know.- Who am I, Romesh? - I'm thinking William Shakespeare.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19You are correct!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I was William Shakespeare, the playwright,
0:12:24 > 0:12:27poet and all-round wizard of words.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Well, both teams managed to get the correct answer, thanks
0:12:30 > 0:12:34to my phenomenal acting, and you can both hand in your homework!
0:12:34 > 0:12:35APPLAUSE
0:12:39 > 0:12:44OK, I'm calling half-time. Let's go over to Smash for the scores.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48You all right? I'm not quite sure how that happened.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Someone is not happy, but I'm nothing if not flexible.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54How's Jamie's team doing, fella?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59And what about Roma's team?
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Right, well, Jamie's team, you're ahead at the moment.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11So, Roma's team, jump to it, or it's detention with Mr Smash.
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Ra-a-a-ar!
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Slightly less scary in that environment.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Anyway, let's get on with the next round.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27OK, it's time for Guesstimate, and today's game is going to be
0:13:27 > 0:13:31poptastic, quite literally, because here is what you're up against.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38As you can see, there are 100 balloons on our balloon board,
0:13:38 > 0:13:43and here I've got a balloon-bursting helmet, complete with a jaggy bit.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Oh, it's sharp.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48The question is, using this helmet, how many of those balloons do
0:13:48 > 0:13:53you think one of your team's grown-ups can burst in 30 seconds?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Little Jamie, out of Vic and Rom,
0:13:56 > 0:14:00who do you think is best at bursting balloons?
0:14:00 > 0:14:05- Well, I can't take Romesh, because he's too scared.- Thank you, Jamie.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08So I'm going to put Vic up to the challenge.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Roma, who do you think's got the best head-butting ability?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Well, Joel has been training to burst balloons in the Olympics.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17You were gutted last year
0:14:17 > 0:14:20when you eventually found out that wasn't actually an Olympic sport.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24My mum was like, "Ha! The joke's on you.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26"It's not really an Olympic sport!"
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Well, before you make a definite decision, either of you,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31we're going to put ten seconds on the clock
0:14:31 > 0:14:35so you can get a feel for your general head technique.
0:14:35 > 0:14:40Your time will start now. Really work those necks, guys.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Jamie, that's a nice technique you've got there.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Don't mess up your hair though.
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Roma is going more from the knees which is interesting. There you go.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50BELL RINGS
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Not easy, head-butting for ten seconds.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Roma, did that help in any way whatsoever?- No.
0:14:55 > 0:15:00OK, so write the answers in your answer book and remember,
0:15:00 > 0:15:03the team that guesstimates the highest
0:15:03 > 0:15:05gets to take on the challenge.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10OK. Smashy? How many do you reckon you could get?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Ra-a-a-a-ar!
0:15:12 > 0:15:16He thinks that balloons are innocent creatures and shouldn't be harmed.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21OK, one, two, three, reveal your answers.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Jamie's gone with 28.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27That's a very reasonable number, an achievable number.
0:15:27 > 0:15:33- Roma went with 67.- Roma believes in me more than my mother ever could.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35OK, well, Joel, get your helmet
0:15:35 > 0:15:38and make your way to the balloon bursting area.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48- Joel, you're looking SHARP. - You NAILED it, mate.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- Oh, hello!- There we go.
0:15:50 > 0:15:56OK, 30 seconds on the clock, please. Your time starts now! Go!
0:15:56 > 0:15:57SCREAMING AND CHEERING
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Oh, he's smashing it!
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Get them all, get them all!
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Look at this.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Up high, up high!
0:16:26 > 0:16:27BELL RINGS
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Time's up, time's up, time is up.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36- I found my talent, I'm so excited. - If only it was an Olympic sport.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40Congratulations, mate, you managed to score - we can't count the ones
0:16:40 > 0:16:44you popped after the bell went - you got 94 balloons, mate.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Unbelievable.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Bask in your glory while Roma hands in the homework. All right!
0:16:51 > 0:16:52APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Before we move on, I would just like to quickly congratulate
0:16:59 > 0:17:02everyone on a brilliant performance so far. Except you, Romesh.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03What are you talking about?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Letting your side down with your terrible attitude.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Mate, I'm making the show.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11And because of the attitude, I'm going to give you some lines.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15I can't believe this. You're out of order, mate. You're out of line.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Well, you're writing lines, so get over it.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19And while you're doing that,
0:17:19 > 0:17:22I'm just going to blow my trumpet. Here we go.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Oh, wrong end. Sorry, wrong end.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY
0:17:38 > 0:17:39Oh, up-side down!
0:17:45 > 0:17:50WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE FANFARE
0:18:02 > 0:18:05I'm a fast learner. OK. What have you got for us?
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Iain Stirling's acting is toe curling
0:18:08 > 0:18:11and he smells like a badger.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Do they both smell the same?
0:18:17 > 0:18:21- I think this one is badgery. - Go on. Oh!- Shut up!
0:18:21 > 0:18:25- Deodorise both sides, buddy. Little tip for you.- I always forget that.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Right, let's get on with the next round.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30APPLAUSE
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Right, it's time for Wot Happened Woz,
0:18:36 > 0:18:40the round where both of our teams have to dream up a knockout excuse
0:18:40 > 0:18:42for not handing in their homework.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45And, to make sure our teams are thinking on their feet,
0:18:45 > 0:18:49we're going to collect some words from the guys out there.
0:18:49 > 0:18:50Let's do it!
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Oh, sorry.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01I took out a cameraman. We're excited to get some words.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03There you go.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07- What's your name?- Hayley.- And what's your word, Hayley?- Cheesecake.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12Cheesecake! Sorry, my bum's been in your face the whole time.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Sorry about that. OK. Surprise teacher attack. What's your name?
0:19:15 > 0:19:21- Karen.- Karen. What's your word, Karen?- Microwave.- OK.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Who else have we got? Anyone got a word? What's your name?- Calum.
0:19:24 > 0:19:29- What's your name?- Goldfish. - What's your word?- Goldfish.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Sorry, I've got a memory like a goldfish!
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- One more. What have you got? - Narwhals.- That's great, narwhals.
0:19:36 > 0:19:44OK, so, Roma's team, your words are cheesecake, microwave, goldfish,
0:19:44 > 0:19:47and narwhals. Any more?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- What's your word, what's your word?- Spaceship.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53Spaceship, that's a good word. Let's get another. What's your word?
0:19:53 > 0:20:00- Dinner.- Dinner. OK. Let's move on. Surprise adult attack.- Trampoline.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05- What's your word?- Potato. - Potato. OK.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Jamie's team, your words are
0:20:08 > 0:20:11trampoline, spaceship, dinner
0:20:11 > 0:20:13and potato.
0:20:13 > 0:20:18Now that you've all got your words, let's do this. Come on!
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Roma, Roma, Roma. You know the rules. It's homework time.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Just hand in your homework and we can get on with our lives, can't we?
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- I don't have it.- What happened?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Well, I have a pet goldfish
0:20:37 > 0:20:42- and he fell in love with this narwhal that he met.- Lovely.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45But then my goldfish, because narwhals are like unicorns,
0:20:45 > 0:20:50- they have the same horn. - Oh, that's what a narwhal is.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53And my goldfish was killed by a narwhal
0:20:53 > 0:20:56because the spear from the narwhal...
0:20:56 > 0:21:01- They went in for the kiss and the goldfish was impaled.- Awful.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Steve Backshall would get involved.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07We were having the wake for my dead goldfish.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09OK.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14And some idiot who wanted to ruin my goldfish's wake
0:21:14 > 0:21:17put cheesecake in the microwave and the microwave blew up.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20You can't put food in a microwave, can you?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Not cheesecake, it's flammable.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27And we had to buy a new microwave and I had a dead fish
0:21:27 > 0:21:31and I just couldn't do my homework, and it's so hard.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34That's absolutely fine. You don't have to worry, anyway,
0:21:34 > 0:21:39because Jamie is going to hand in his homework, and all is well.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- MAN:- School disco!- School disco!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:21:55 > 0:21:58So, Jamie, if you could just hand in your homework,
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- that would be brilliant. - I don't really have my homework.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03What do you mean you don't have it?
0:22:03 > 0:22:08What happened was, I opened my front door to go to school.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11I mean, you've got to. You wouldn't get out of the house without that.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14- And I saw a spaceship circling my house.- Wow.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17So I stepped out of my house
0:22:17 > 0:22:21and I didn't realise there was a massive trampoline beneath my feet.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23And I went...
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Boing-shhh!
0:22:24 > 0:22:29Right up and actually went inside the spaceship somehow.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32What would that look like, Romesh?
0:22:32 > 0:22:34"Oh, I'm in a spaceship, what has happened?
0:22:34 > 0:22:37"This is a confusing turn of events."
0:22:37 > 0:22:40And the aliens were having dinner.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42They are always eating, aliens.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44They were cooking jacket potatoes
0:22:44 > 0:22:49and they said the only topping they like is school homework.
0:22:50 > 0:22:55- So I had to give them my precious homework.- So precious.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58And they ate it.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00So the aliens ate your homework.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Yes, they sound a bit like this when they're eating.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Ah-gobbel-di-gook, ah-gobbel-di-gook.- Weird.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Well, I like both of those excuses, they are both obviously real.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Let's see what our audience think.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13If you are a fan of Roma's goldfish,
0:23:13 > 0:23:16can I get a cheer now, please?
0:23:19 > 0:23:24Or, if you prefer a good old "the alien ate it", cheer for Jamie.
0:23:29 > 0:23:34That is very close, but I think I'm going to give it to Jamie's team.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Jamie, hand in your homework!
0:23:36 > 0:23:37APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:23:40 > 0:23:42OK, the finish line's in sight,
0:23:42 > 0:23:45so it's time to play All Kinds Of Wrong.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47I'll be throwing all sorts of questions at you,
0:23:47 > 0:23:49and when you get caught in the spotlight,
0:23:49 > 0:23:53I want you to give me the first wrong answer that springs to mind.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Every wrong answer is another piece of homework in the bank.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Jamie's team, you're first up, so please make your way
0:24:00 > 0:24:02to the Wrong Ray!
0:24:06 > 0:24:10OK, let's get things wrong in three, two, one, here we go.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- You are the weakest link? - I love you.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- You wear shoes on your...?- Head.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22If you are cross, you wake up on the wrong side of the...?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Crisps.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Jack and Jill went up the...?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Great, large, crater.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Correct. Scooby Dooby...
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Wahey!
0:24:37 > 0:24:39That is a Geordie Scooby-Doo.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42The cat sat on the...?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Large pillow, and it was uncomfortable,
0:24:45 > 0:24:46I tell you.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49You put gloves on when...?
0:24:49 > 0:24:51You want to dance.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Fred Flintstone said yabbadabba...?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Please think very carefully before you go any further.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03In woodwork, you bash in nails using a...?
0:25:03 > 0:25:04BELL RINGS
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Oh, time up.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07APPLAUSE
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Well done, team. Please take a seat.
0:25:17 > 0:25:23- Are you ready, Joel? - No, I'm not ready.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Correct.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Your time starts now.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Famous TV presenters are called Ant and...?
0:25:30 > 0:25:32# La-la-la-la... #
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Correct. Indiana Jones and the Temple of...?
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Bananas.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Correct. The ukelele looks like a tiny little...?
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- Hammer.- It does.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46You shouldn't look a gift horse in the...?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Nose.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Hobbits feet are covered in...?
0:25:53 > 0:25:57- Eyes.- Correct. Why did the chicken cross the road?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00To go to his job.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05Pride And Prejudice is a book by...?
0:26:05 > 0:26:06- Me.- Correct.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08The light bulb was invented by...?
0:26:08 > 0:26:10A fly.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Mercury is the planet nearest to the...?
0:26:14 > 0:26:15BELL RINGS
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Time's up.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22I have not got a clue where that leaves us, so you three
0:26:22 > 0:26:26make your way back to the desks and let's find out who scored top marks.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33So, it's time to find out which team has risen to the surface
0:26:33 > 0:26:37and which team has sunk into detention with Mr Smash.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Ra-a-a-a-ar!
0:26:39 > 0:26:44Mr Smash has made something lovely in woodwork. What a treat.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Anyway, here we go.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Let's see which team are swotty and which team are...
0:26:48 > 0:26:50- ALL:- Naughty!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01The winners are Jamie's team!
0:27:01 > 0:27:03APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Jamie's team won.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Unfortunately, Roma's team,
0:27:09 > 0:27:11that means you have to take the walk of shame.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Over you go. Walk of shame.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18On you go. Get in the stocks.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20He spent hours in woodwork making these.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Please give it up for our team in detention.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Give it up for Roma, Bec and Joel!
0:27:27 > 0:27:28APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Give it up for our star pupils, Jamie, Romesh and Vic!
0:27:32 > 0:27:34APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Thank you all for watching, and remember,
0:27:36 > 0:27:39we didn't learn much but it was fun.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41See you next time on...
0:27:41 > 0:27:45ALL: The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:45 > 0:27:47See ya!