0:00:41 > 0:00:43Hello and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:00:43 > 0:00:45CBBC's best excuse for a panel show.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48I'm Iain Stirling and I'm here to send school work
0:00:48 > 0:00:50off on a geography trip without its sleeping bag.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52But before we get to that,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54let's take a look at the school announcements...
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Year 7 have come up with a brand-new way
0:00:56 > 0:00:59to get round the school's mobile phone ban.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02LAUGHTER
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Apologies to pupils for the late start to our London field trip.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08We'll be leaving as soon as the bus has its nails done.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11LAUGHTER
0:01:11 > 0:01:14And Mr Jones will be holding a Maths workshop after school
0:01:14 > 0:01:18to help pupils do really big sums.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21LAUGHTER
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Right, let's take the register and find out whose train
0:01:24 > 0:01:26is pulling into the education station today.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- On my left, we have Gilbert... - Here, sir!
0:01:29 > 0:01:31..sitting beside him is full-time funny man Romesh Ranganathan.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Here, Iain.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36...and from Waterloo Road, it's Kirstie Steele.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37- Present!- Oh, lovely!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40So, in summary, what we have is Gil-Tie-Mesh...
0:01:40 > 0:01:43LAUGHTER
0:01:43 > 0:01:45And on my right we have Neve...
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Hola!
0:01:46 > 0:01:47...and on her team,
0:01:47 > 0:01:48we have funny in mind,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50and funnier in accent,
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- it's Bec Hill...- Hello.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54It must be a day off for the show - because we also have,
0:01:54 > 0:01:55from Waterloo Road,
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- it's Shane O'Meara.- Hello.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00And put them all together and what you get is...
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Bec-She-Neve.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04LAUGHTER
0:02:04 > 0:02:07It looks like Radio 1 DJ Greg James.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11He looks actually better than any of them individually.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12I think, actually, Shane, I think
0:02:12 > 0:02:14you suit lipstick.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17That's really freaking me out, really, that.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18I like this one though.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20It looks like something
0:02:20 > 0:02:21you'd find in your wardrobe.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25I am Gil-Tie-Mesh, eater of socks!
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Oh, please, give it up for today's teams!
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Right, here's how this works. Each team has a load of homework.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40The team that hands in the most by the end of the show will be
0:02:40 > 0:02:45the winner, but as ever, the losing side will be put into detention
0:02:45 > 0:02:47under the supervision of our PE teacher.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50The only thing less welcome in a China shop than the bull...
0:02:50 > 0:02:52It's Mr Smash!
0:02:52 > 0:02:55HE GRUNTS
0:02:55 > 0:02:57What have you got there, Smashy?
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Oh! You won the Bear Wrestling Championship?!
0:03:01 > 0:03:02MR SMASH GRUNTS
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Amazing, mate. Your mum must be very proud.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07I just don't know how handy
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- that's going to be in a television studio though.- Uh?- Yeah.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13MR SMASH GRUNTS
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Well, you live and learn...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24So that's what you have to look
0:03:24 > 0:03:27forward to if you don't pay attention.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29And remember, as far as the points go,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31it's Iain's School, so it's...
0:03:31 > 0:03:33AUDIENCE: Iain's rules!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Let's make some telly!
0:03:35 > 0:03:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:40 > 0:03:42So first up, it's Shed Loads.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44The round that has a lot to answer for.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47I'll ask you a question that has shed loads of right answers,
0:03:47 > 0:03:51team by team, you have to give me as many of those answers
0:03:51 > 0:03:53as is humanly possible.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57The team that I think does the best gets to hand in their homework.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Has everyone got that?
0:03:58 > 0:03:59ALL: Yes!
0:03:59 > 0:04:03Great, OK. The first subject is for Neve's team.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04It is Science.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Go!
0:04:06 > 0:04:07- Toilet.- Yeah!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- Bum scratcher.- Oh, it's a good one!
0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Light bulb.- Light bulb.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- TV.- OK, next one.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Popcorn hat.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Popcorn hat?- Yeah, you press a button,
0:04:16 > 0:04:18popcorn comes out of the hat.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- OK.- Magic carpet.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Is that an invention or made up? - No, no, it's an invention.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25They've got them in Manchester, apparently, OK.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- Cup-a-buscuit.- What?!
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- It's a cup and there's a pocket for a biscuit.- You can have it.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31- The zip.- Next one.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32- An aglet.- What?!
0:04:32 > 0:04:35It's the little plastic bit at the end of your shoelace
0:04:35 > 0:04:37so that you can put it through the hole.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38I'll give you that, next.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Sewage. Where would we be without sewage?
0:04:40 > 0:04:42For saying sewage,
0:04:42 > 0:04:45what you're saying is I really like the contents of a sewer.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Poopy.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48OK, next...
0:04:50 > 0:04:51- Chicken!- Yeah!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- Omelettes.- Yeah!
0:04:53 > 0:04:54- Egg-fried rice.- Ooh!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- My fridge.- Yes.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58A nest.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Ooh, very good, Bec.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Quiche!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Quiche! All right, next one.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- Pancakes.- Yes.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06- Eggy breads.- Yes.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Egg-gg...
0:05:09 > 0:05:11I'll give you that, let's move on.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13And this one's just for me...
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Pow!
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Good.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Peeeeew... Pow.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22That firework is called disappointment. Next one.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Stink bomb. Kirstie!
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Shh...
0:05:28 > 0:05:30That's called the library firework.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32LAUGHTER
0:05:32 > 0:05:34A cartwheel. Whew, whew, whew...
0:05:34 > 0:05:35Next!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Pta, pta, pta, pta!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Oh, that's a firework that's got asthma. Next.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Whooooo... Pow!
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Nice. Romesh?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Yeehaa! Dakka-dakka, dakka-dakka, dakka-dakka!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Waaah! Waaah!
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Waaah! Aaaaah!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56I think he just did the haka.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57BELL RINGS
0:05:57 > 0:05:58Wow, time up!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I think... I've got to say this.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Purely for that, if you can do the firework sound one more time,
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I'm going to give it to Gilbert's team for Romesh's firework.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11So one last time, Romesh.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Yeehaa! Dakka-dakka, dakka-dakka, dakka-dakka!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Rat-at-at-at-at-at! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Dakka-dakka, dakka-dakka, dakka-dakka! Ping!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27One that note, Gilbert, hand in your homework, mate, come on!
0:06:27 > 0:06:28APPLAUSE
0:06:32 > 0:06:34OK, in this round, we...
0:06:34 > 0:06:35KNOCKING ON THE DOOR
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Hello, who is it?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38It's Eve, from class 4B.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40In you come, Eve, from class 4B.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Oh, Eve, you're wearing a costume from Drama class.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48- No!- Oh, it's a History project, you must be studying something.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49No!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- You're impersonating the French teacher?- No.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54I'm just trying to annoy the German teacher.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56That's some lost property for you, Iain.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Thanks very much, Eve! Give it up for Evie, everybody!
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Byeee!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I've got bit of lost property.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Romesh, you left your rucksack in Maths.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10That's not my bag, man.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- It's definitely your bag. - That definitely isn't my bag.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15I mean, it is your bag.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Um, Iain, I'm telling you -
0:07:17 > 0:07:20THAT is not my bag, trust me.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22What do you mean?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I've got my bag right here.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- Can I keep this one?- Of course!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Oh, good! Besties!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Yeah, my friends, OK!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Now, it's time for everybody's favourite part of the show,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38it's time for Who Do You Think I Am?
0:07:38 > 0:07:39ALL: Oh!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Romesh, you're pretty, pretty excited about this, I can see.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45No, genuinely, can you not, please, just for the sake of the show...
0:07:45 > 0:07:47You're such a kind man.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Anyway, it's your job to guess what famous figure from history
0:07:51 > 0:07:54is piggy-backing onto my talent today,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56and if you get it right, you can hand in your homework.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Well, I've got a box full of props, and a head full of dreams.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03So let's do this already, OK!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12OK, Gilbert's team, you guys are up first, you'll be glad to know.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Bob the builder!- No!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I've not started yet!
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Bob the Builder with a horse!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Be quiet!
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Wild West Bob the Builder!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- He will gnaw your face off!- OK.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Raaaa!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28You can't even do a horse noise properly.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32This is not any horse, this is Clive. Clive, the horse!
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Clive's a better actor than you, buddy.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Shut up!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37And why do you have the horse...?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I am trying my best!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41You're a very angry man.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- I am!- Is that it? We've won!- Yes!
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- No!- All right, OK.- Oh!
0:08:45 > 0:08:47OK, first clue...
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Oh!
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- IN A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: - I'm a French lady.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Why do you sound like an English fairy?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I'm a French lady!
0:08:58 > 0:09:00You don't sound like you've heard of France.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Smash, did you like my accent?
0:09:02 > 0:09:05HE GRUNTS
0:09:05 > 0:09:08He sounded more like a French lady than you did.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Shut up or I will get you!
0:09:10 > 0:09:11A firework!
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Second clue...
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I was good at fighting...
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- What?!- Tchow...
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- That's not farting.- Fighting!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Oh, fighting. Say it properly.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26I don't do any trumps, cos I'm a lady.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- Good.- And after I died,
0:09:29 > 0:09:31they made me a saint.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- They made you a what?- A saint!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35- I've got a halo on!- OK, all right.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39A kung fu French lady! Wheeeeh!
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Are you Kung Fu Panda?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Kung Fu Panda?!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46This is ridiculous, I don't know why I bother.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48It is ridiculous, I don't know why you bother.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Ah!
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Time for clue number three.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56I once burned the steak!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Oh, OK.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05I was once burned AT the stake.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07You can't even get the clues correct!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10You're a joke wrapped up in a problem
0:10:10 > 0:10:13with a little joke ribbon on the top.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15THEY LAUGH
0:10:15 > 0:10:16HE HONKS THE HORN
0:10:16 > 0:10:17Who am I?
0:10:17 > 0:10:18You're Joan of Arc!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20I am as well!
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Yeah, she never reached 20, but she
0:10:24 > 0:10:27did lead the French army to victory.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31Right, so, Neve's team - this is for you, OK?
0:10:31 > 0:10:32First clue - I...
0:10:32 > 0:10:34CHUCKLING
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Come on.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I am an American man...
0:10:39 > 0:10:41You have double chin, OK.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44So a double-chin, fake American person.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47I don't, I wasn't... I don't actually have a double chin!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Did you say I have a double chin?!
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Here comes the French lady again...
0:10:51 > 0:10:54OK, I am an American man.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Nom, nom, nom...
0:10:56 > 0:10:57Oh, nom, nom...
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Oh, I like burgers, I'm American!
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Why are you not eating the burger?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04It's a dog chew toy!
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- Commit to your character!- Commit to your character! Bite it.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10ALL: Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I can't, it is plastic!
0:11:13 > 0:11:15TOY SQUEAKS
0:11:15 > 0:11:19OK, let's go on to our next clue, OK? Here we go.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Are you Hawaiian? Oh!
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- I'll put my skirt on.- Hello! - Yeah, there you go.- Aloha!
0:11:24 > 0:11:28I'm one of the most famous singers of all time!
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- Lady Gaga!- No! A man!
0:11:30 > 0:11:33She has hair like that, but on her head.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Yes, she does. I'm wearing Lady Gaga's hair.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I'm one of the most famous singers of all time
0:11:38 > 0:11:40and boy, could I move!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I think you have to...
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Oh, yeah! Boy, could I move.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46A goldfish could do that!
0:11:46 > 0:11:49No, cos it's not got legs!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51In 500 years, it could grow legs.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Final clue, here we go.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Oh!- Oh, oh!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59The Hawaiian bobsled team.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02The entire team, all of them.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05I'm all five of them! Last clue.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09People from all round the world make a fortune pretending to be me.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11I live in a place called Graceland.
0:12:11 > 0:12:17And I sing lots of songs about things like teddy bears
0:12:17 > 0:12:18and blue suede shoes.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- They were nice.- Who am I?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Elvis Presley!
0:12:25 > 0:12:28My name be Elvis Presley!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30APPLAUSE
0:12:30 > 0:12:32The soldier, movie star
0:12:32 > 0:12:36and on top of that, the King of Rock'n'roll.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Well, you both got it right, so well done, Neve and Gilbert, you can
0:12:39 > 0:12:41both hand in your homework!
0:12:46 > 0:12:50OK, it's time to Say What? Audience, say what?!
0:12:50 > 0:12:52- ALL:- Say what?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Yes, very well done. It's an easy one, this,
0:12:55 > 0:12:57words from around the world will pop up on the screen.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01And all you guys must do is tell me what you think they mean.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06Whichever team I think does the best can hand in their homework.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10OK, here is your first word. What does it mean?
0:13:10 > 0:13:14It's actually a chain of nightclubs for crabs.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18I can't get in, I'm wearing eight pairs of trainers!
0:13:18 > 0:13:21It's properly wicked down the Pinchadisco, mate.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- I'm loving it, know what I mean? - Is it a Pokemon?- No.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Pin-cha-disco!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30I unleash the power of Pinchadisco!
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Wait, Romesh, make your firework sounds.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Wa-pinchadisco!
0:13:36 > 0:13:38APPLAUSE
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Anybody else? Kirstie?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45It sounds like something a chef would maybe say.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Like "I'll have a pinchadiscos, a this..."
0:13:49 > 0:13:51That's not bad!
0:13:51 > 0:13:52BELL
0:13:52 > 0:13:56OK, it sounds like a street name for a DVD thief.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58It's not. I'm going to give you the answer.
0:13:58 > 0:14:03What the word actually means, it is the Spanish word for a DJ and
0:14:03 > 0:14:07I know what you are all thinking - Iain, how would you pronounce that?
0:14:07 > 0:14:11It's very simple. It sounds a little something like this.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13- SPANISH VOICE:- Pinchadiscos.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19- I didn't understand.- Oh, I can do it again. I'm very good at this.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Sounds a little something like this.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Pinchadiscos.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- Loving it, loving it, loving it. - Next word is this.
0:14:29 > 0:14:35And I want to know what it means in certain parts of Nigeria. Romesh?
0:14:35 > 0:14:39There was an ancient warrior called Dundee.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41And he battled a dragon many years ago.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44And many people thought that he should have been made a knight
0:14:44 > 0:14:47but he never was, and so constantly for the rest of his life
0:14:47 > 0:14:50people go up to him and say, "Dundee, you knighted?"
0:14:50 > 0:14:53APPLAUSE
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Bec?
0:14:54 > 0:14:59It's a teddy bear from Dundee that managed to get into university
0:14:59 > 0:15:01and now he is Dundee's mascot.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Dundee Uni Ted.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Uni Ted! Neve?
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Is Dundee something you would call a person if you didn't like them?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11You're like, "Ugh, Dundee. Dundee. Dundee."
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- I'm going to give you a point for that.- Yes!
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Genuinely, because, listen to this,
0:15:16 > 0:15:19if you were called a Dundee United by somebody that speaks Yoruba,
0:15:19 > 0:15:23- you should be offended because it actually means idiot.- Yay!
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Honestly true. Honestly true.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28But don't worry, people of Dundee, I've got your back.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30That word should actually be Tottenham Hotspur.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- How would you pronounce that, Iain? - I'm glad you asked.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35You pronounce the word thusly.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Dundee United.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42OK, let's move on
0:15:42 > 0:15:46- with the next word?- School disco.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47School disco!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50MUSIC: "We Found Love" by Rihanna
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Bonjour.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01MUSIC STOPS
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Your next word is this one here.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09- What does this mean?- Regenbogen!
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Yeah?- It is the bogeyman's brother.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Regen again - oh!
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Is it Swedish? Regenbogen!
0:16:17 > 0:16:20- Boggin oggin. Moggen goggen. - Snoggin'!- Snoggin'!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Snoggin'!
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- Phenomenoggin! - Flap dudenoggin!
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Anyone else? Bec?
0:16:29 > 0:16:33It's a traditional German dance which Neve will now
0:16:33 > 0:16:34demonstrate for us..
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- Yeah, yeah. - Go right down there, Neve.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Get your legs in.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Regenbogen! Regenbogen! - That's good. That's the one.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- OK.- Let's do it.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48- You put your hands like this. - Regenbogen!
0:16:48 > 0:16:51APPLAUSE
0:16:55 > 0:17:01It actually refers to a special type of bogey that occupies both
0:17:01 > 0:17:03nostrils simultaneously.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05You can sort of clean your nose like a towel.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Regenbogen! - I'm going to tell you that answer.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13It is the German word for rainbow.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17It should be pronounced a little something like this.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- DEEP VOICE:- Regenbogen!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Somewhere over the...
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Regenbogen!
0:17:29 > 0:17:33After that round, I think, for the dance,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- I'm going to give the points to Neve's team.- Yes!
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Hand in your homework!
0:17:42 > 0:17:44OK, it's time to take a quick break
0:17:44 > 0:17:47and check in with Mr Smash for the scores.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50How many bits of homework have Neve's team handed in, Smashy?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52HE GROWLS
0:17:52 > 0:17:55All right, and what about Gilbert's team?
0:17:55 > 0:17:59HE GROWLS
0:17:59 > 0:18:03Oh, so at the minute you guys are neck and neck. But both teams
0:18:03 > 0:18:05need to keep their eyes on the prize
0:18:05 > 0:18:09or it's detention with Mr Smash. And believe you me, the man
0:18:09 > 0:18:10has got a very short fuse.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14ROCKY THEME
0:18:17 > 0:18:18It's a rematch!
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Anyway, let's get on to the next round!
0:18:24 > 0:18:26APPLAUSE
0:18:28 > 0:18:32OK, it's time for What Happened Was, the round where our teams have to
0:18:32 > 0:18:36come up with a belter of an excuse for not handing in their homework.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37But what will they be about?
0:18:37 > 0:18:42Let's find out by getting some words from our studio audience. Let's go!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44APPLAUSE
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Whose words are we going to get?
0:18:50 > 0:18:54Let's find out, surprise teacher attack!
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Hello.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01- The word is hello. No, it's not. - Train tracks.- Train track. OK.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- What about you, mate?- Sick.- Sick?
0:19:04 > 0:19:06That word's sick, mate!
0:19:08 > 0:19:12Excuse me, sorry. Excuse me. Sorry, I've just done a trump.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- Stinky! What is your word? - Jelly beans.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Jelly beans! Get some more.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- Surprise teacher attack! - Er, astronaut.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Er, that is, "Er, astronaut," that one. Cool.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30OK, so, Neve, your words are train track,
0:19:30 > 0:19:33sick - ugh - jelly beans
0:19:33 > 0:19:34and astronaut.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Let's get some words for Gilbert's him. OK.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40I'm going to go in the middle a bit more.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45- What's your name?- Amir.- Amir. What is your word?- Freeze.- Freeze.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Freeze. Pure freezin', man!
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Hiya! What's your name?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54- Ellie.- And what is your word, Ellie?
0:19:54 > 0:19:55Semolina.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02- Say that again.- Semolina.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Semolina. OK. Come on!
0:20:07 > 0:20:09- Diamantes!- Diamantes!
0:20:11 > 0:20:16- What's your word, man? - Asteroid.- Asteroid. Hmm!
0:20:16 > 0:20:18OK. Gilbert's team.
0:20:18 > 0:20:25Your words are freeze, diamante, asteroid and semolina.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30OK. So, now we've got our words let's do some lying.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Come on, let's go!
0:20:31 > 0:20:33APPLAUSE
0:20:38 > 0:20:40So, hi, Neve. You know the rules.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43At this point of the show, you hand in your homework.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46So if you just hand that over, we can get on with it.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49- I don't have my homework.- You don't have your homework? Why?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- Why don't you have your homework? - So, you know how we had to draw
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- a picture of an astronaut for our homework?- Yes. Well done.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59- That was the homework.- I was drawing this really sick astronaut,
0:20:59 > 0:21:03so I was drawing this by the train track, eating some jelly beans.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Why were you by the train tracks?
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Because I was waiting for my train. - Of course. Sorry. I'm an idiot.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10And then when my train came I was late
0:21:10 > 0:21:12because I had to finish off this homework.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15It's so important because you're my favourite teacher.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Thanks.- I had to make it the best ever.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20And then this train went asked, and I was like, "Hey, hey,"
0:21:20 > 0:21:23and I drop my homework onto the train and I was just crying
0:21:23 > 0:21:25because I had nothing else.
0:21:25 > 0:21:31I had no jelly beans left, no homework, just crushed dreams.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Well, don't worry about it.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Because I will just go over to Gilbert,
0:21:35 > 0:21:37he'll hand in his homework, then we can carry on.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Can't we, Gilbert? Just pass me your homework, mate. Hand it over.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44- I don't really have it.- Well, you don't really have it or you don't?
0:21:44 > 0:21:45I don't have it.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50Sorry. Walking to school with some semolina for you.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53How would you pronounce that?
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- I don't know really, because... - I know how to pronounce it.- How?
0:21:56 > 0:22:01- Semolina! Because I actually listen in class.- Oh, Neve, bonus points.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Still didn't have your homework, though!
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- I was making semolina for my favourite teacher!- Thanks, mate.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08I hate semolina, though, so wrong.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Asteroids came from the sky and hit the ground and everything...
0:22:13 > 0:22:17I was blown off my feet. Everything froze. It was all really cold.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21I was the only thing that had not froze.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24You don't remember this because you were all frozen in time.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Oh, right, the old frozen in time thing. Yes.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29I hate when that happens.
0:22:29 > 0:22:34I looked at my homework and it just shattered to pieces. Shattered.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43It was like diamantes on the floor.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- Oh!- That's why I don't have my homework in.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Romesh, is that what actually happened?
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Doesn't matter.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Listen, it is not up to me whose excuse is the best, it is
0:22:54 > 0:22:56up to you, the audience.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58So give me a cheer
0:22:58 > 0:23:01if you thought Neve's train story was the most plausible.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03CHEERING
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Louder! Woo!
0:23:06 > 0:23:12OK. Or if you prefer Gilbert's semolina, cheer now.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15CHEERING
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Right, well,...
0:23:19 > 0:23:22This is hard actually. Semolina!
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- Semolina!- Gilbert's team, hand in your homework.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27APPLAUSE
0:23:30 > 0:23:34OK, let's get ready to ascend to the end.
0:23:34 > 0:23:35It is All Kinds Of Wrong.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39I will be peppering each of the teams with a bunch of questions
0:23:39 > 0:23:42and when you're bathed in the glow of the spotlight, I want you
0:23:42 > 0:23:46to give me the first incorrect answer that springs to mind.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Every wrong answer means a piece of bonus homework in the bank.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52OK, so Neve's team, you're up first
0:23:52 > 0:23:54so please pop along to the Wrong Ray!
0:23:54 > 0:23:55APPLAUSE
0:23:55 > 0:23:57The Wrong Ray!
0:23:59 > 0:24:04OK, here we go. Your time starts in three, two, one. Here we go.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Curiosity killed the...
0:24:06 > 0:24:07Cocktail sausages!
0:24:07 > 0:24:11Who is the President of the United States?
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Auntie Gwenda.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Cock-a-doodle...
0:24:14 > 0:24:19- Garden gnome. - What are Daleks known for shouting?
0:24:19 > 0:24:24- Bathroom!- If you're sent off in football you get a red...
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- Key.- Name one of your five senses.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Myaaaa - pff!
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Correct. If life gives you lemons, make...
0:24:34 > 0:24:36A small hedge.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Charles Dickens wrote a Christmas...
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Cheesecake.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43New York is known as the big...
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Baboon.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47What did the Grinch steal?
0:24:49 > 0:24:50BELL
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Aw!
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Please leave the stage.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58And Gilbert's team, you are up next.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03Your time starts in three, two, one. Two heads are better than...
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- Two.- Correct. The first man to walk on the moon was...
0:25:09 > 0:25:11A large cauliflower.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Correct. Name the TV show Britain's Got...
0:25:15 > 0:25:16A lot of problems.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Correct. Wayne Rooney plays...
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Chicken.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26Would I be lying if I said flamingos were pink?
0:25:26 > 0:25:27No.
0:25:27 > 0:25:32Incorrect. I would. Roses are red, violets are...
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Monkeys.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Correct. Pinocchio's nose grew when he...
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Shouted.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42To infinity and...
0:25:44 > 0:25:47- POSH VOICE:- Let's have a party.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48Like two peas in a...
0:25:49 > 0:25:52BELL APPLAUSE
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Time up. All right, guys. Head back to your seats.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57We'll see who scored top marks.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06Well, it's detention time so let's find out who makes the grade
0:26:06 > 0:26:07and who makes me sick.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11So, Mr Smash, are you ready over there, mate?
0:26:11 > 0:26:12HE STRAINS
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Look at that. He's found a stone in his shoe!
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Always an inconvenience.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21Right, let's find out which team are swotty and which team are...
0:26:21 > 0:26:23- ALL:- Naughty!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25OK.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- AUDIENCE:- Whooooaaa...
0:26:28 > 0:26:31And the winners today are...
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Neve's team!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Yay!
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Loser! Woo!
0:26:37 > 0:26:41It's great news for Neve's team, and, well, it's...news for Gilbert's
0:26:41 > 0:26:45team, so sadly, guys, please take the walk of shame.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Losers!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Losers!
0:26:49 > 0:26:52# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Losers!
0:26:52 > 0:26:57Today in detention you'll be helping Mr Smash write his autobiography
0:26:57 > 0:26:59with a little bit of dictation.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01What is he telling you?
0:27:01 > 0:27:03I can't understand what he's saying.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05MR SMASH ROARS
0:27:05 > 0:27:09I don't know what he's on about! How am I supposed to write that?!
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Write it down! Neve's team are the winners.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Before you go, give it up for Gilbert's team.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Please give it up for Romesh, Gilbert and Kirstie!
0:27:17 > 0:27:21Give it up for Neve's team, Bec, Neve and Shane.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23APPLAUSE
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Thanks you all for watching.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28And remember, we didn't learn much - but it was fun trying.
0:27:28 > 0:27:33- See you next time on... - ALL:- The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36See ya!