0:00:02 > 0:00:04BELL RINGS
0:00:31 > 0:00:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:41 > 0:00:44CONGA MUSIC
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Oi! Oi! Get out!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Get out of it! Scarper!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22My name's Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:01:22 > 0:01:23a panel show all about school.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Now, it's school, everyone knows what they're there to do
0:01:26 > 0:01:27and everyone knows what the rules are.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30That's until you go to school out of school hours.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Parents evening, a charity function, or even a school disco.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37We've all found ourself in school when we shouldn't be there.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Now, at parents evening for me,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41you'd always find me hidden in the toilets, right,
0:01:41 > 0:01:42cos my dad's just found out
0:01:42 > 0:01:45why I didn't book an appointment with the English teacher.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48If you thought school was scary, wait till you see your dad running
0:01:48 > 0:01:49after you down a corridor, going,
0:01:49 > 0:01:52"What's this, Iain, I've heard about you writing a poem about bums?"
0:01:52 > 0:01:55But, weirdly, as well as the fear, when you're in school when you're
0:01:55 > 0:01:57not meant to be, there's a weird, sort of naughty voice
0:01:57 > 0:02:00in the back of your head. That little voice that thinks
0:02:00 > 0:02:01you can get away with anything.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03You find yourself running down the corridor,
0:02:03 > 0:02:05pretending you're a Formula 1 car. Like that.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07SPEEDING CARS
0:02:10 > 0:02:12I mean, you wouldn't have your own sound effects,
0:02:12 > 0:02:13but you get the idea, you know.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16You find yourself sneaking into the English room,
0:02:16 > 0:02:18finding a whiteboard and just writing a poem about bums.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Let's get this thing started. Can I have the school bell, please?
0:02:23 > 0:02:24DING-DONG
0:02:24 > 0:02:26School bell, not doorbell.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29KLAXON
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Yeah, I'm going to have to get that fixed. Let's meet the teams!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:38 > 0:02:41On my left, we have a team that's full of it. Full of Grace, that is.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44- It's Grace! - Here, sir.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48And on Grace's team, we have someone whose teacher told him
0:02:48 > 0:02:50one day he'd be a TV star.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Mate, it could still happen. It's Joe Swash!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Yes, sir.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58And taking the team up to three is an ex-Maths teacher.
0:02:58 > 0:03:04He's one in a million, or 0.000001%. It's Romesh Ranganathan.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- Here, sir.- Give it up for Grace's team, everybody!
0:03:11 > 0:03:14And over here is the other team, led by a boy who's
0:03:14 > 0:03:17so cool for school, his nickname's The Fridge.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- It's Callum. - Here, sir.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21And joining Callum's team
0:03:21 > 0:03:24is one of the most famous double acts on Britain's Got Talent.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27It's Ant and Dec! Only joking, it's Ashleigh and Pudsey.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33And, completing Callum's team, you may have seen him on The One Show -
0:03:33 > 0:03:36I just hope he doesn't think this is The Number Two Show.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- It's Alex Riley. - Hello.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Let's please hear it for today's teams!
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Now, if your team wins a game, then you get a nice, big gold star.
0:03:49 > 0:03:55- AUDIENCE: Oooh!- If you lose - nothing, nada, blank, zero.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58But I do give you a bonus star if I like the cut of your jib.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02- AUDIENCE: Oooh!- And I can whisk them away again if you displease me.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04AUDIENCE: Awww!
0:04:04 > 0:04:07So, be nice and remember, it's Iain's school, so it's...?
0:04:07 > 0:04:11- AUDIENCE: Iain's rules! - Look at me, drooling with power.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14At the end of the show, the team with the most gold stars get
0:04:14 > 0:04:17to hand in their homework but the losers will meet a horrible fate.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21Their homework will be gobbled up by the Dog Ate My Homework dog
0:04:21 > 0:04:23and they'll also face detention with our ferocious PE teacher,
0:04:23 > 0:04:28a man so massive you can see him from space - it's Mr Smash!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:31 > 0:04:33HE MOUTHS, SILENTLY
0:04:37 > 0:04:39RARRR!
0:04:39 > 0:04:43RARRR! RARRR! RARRR!
0:04:43 > 0:04:45VOLUME DIPS
0:04:47 > 0:04:48HE MOUTHS, SILENTLY
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Ashleigh, could you get Pudsey to go and check if he's OK,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- if that's all right? - Go on, Puds.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:57 > 0:05:01OK. We've met the crew, so let's get on with the show!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11This is Stick To The Point.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13ANNOUNCER: Stick To The Point.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Here goes. I'm going to ask you a number of questions.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18If you are too slow or you repeat yourselves,
0:05:18 > 0:05:22you go into the Shush Position. Our first question is sandwich fillings.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Ashleigh!- Lettuce!- Yes. Romesh!
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- P-pickle?- A p-pickle?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31It's actually a pickle remix that I've come up with myself, actually.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32P-p-pickle!
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- LAUGHTER - Alex!- Pilchards!
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Ooh. Joe!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39- A bit of mustard!- Yeah. Ashleigh.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- Butter.- A butter sandwich?!
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Well, yeah, because some people just have butter
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- and then they put crisps in it. I personally don't like it.- Romesh!
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- Piccalilli. - LAUGHTER
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- Callum!- Bread!
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- You need bread for sandwiches! - A bread sandwich?!
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Grace.- Tomato. - Callum.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Shush Position, young man! Ashleigh! - Sugar.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- LAUGHTER - Look! People have it.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13You're thinking about cake, young lady. Get in the Shush Position.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- Get in the Shush Position. - People have sugar...!- Minus...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- You are on minus one gold star. - So not fair.- Alex!- Potted meat!
0:06:21 > 0:06:22What?!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- LAUGHTER - Potted meat!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Romesh!- Tuna.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Alex!- Peanut butter. - Joe!
0:06:29 > 0:06:30Bit of lettuce.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- We've had lettuce, get in the Shush Position.- Oh, what?
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Alex!- Lemon curd. - Grace!- Cucumber.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- Alex!- Honey. - Grace!- Sweetcorn.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- Alex.- Jam. - Romesh.- Honey.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46We've had a repetition of honey - Shush Position.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48This game's a joke. I just want to say that.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50You're not very good at the Shush Position, are you mate?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52LAUGHTER
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- Alex!- Chicken. - Grace!- Nutella!
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Alex!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Shush Position! - Oh!
0:06:59 > 0:07:02- Grace's team win that round! - APPLAUSE
0:07:02 > 0:07:05ANNOUNCER: School Disco!
0:07:05 > 0:07:08School Disco!
0:07:09 > 0:07:12MUSIC: Skip To The Good Bit by Rizzle Kicks
0:07:25 > 0:07:26MUSIC STOPS
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Right, let's go on to the next one. Fairytale characters.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33- Callum. - Cinderella.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Romesh. - Piccalilli?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38LAUGHTER
0:07:38 > 0:07:40It's, uh, Princess Piccalilli, it's an ancient...
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- ASHLEIGH:- He can't have that one.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44..fairytale of this sort of lily-looking princess
0:07:44 > 0:07:48and what happened was she went to this ball
0:07:48 > 0:07:51and the prince didn't know which one to go for
0:07:51 > 0:07:53and then somebody said, "I think,
0:07:53 > 0:07:56"if you were going to choose one princess, you should pick a lily.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57LAUGHTER
0:07:57 > 0:07:59And that was Piccalilli. And that's how
0:07:59 > 0:08:01the story of Piccalilli come about.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04APPLAUSE
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I'm not going to shush you this time,
0:08:08 > 0:08:11but you're one piccalilli off of picking a shushing! Callum!
0:08:11 > 0:08:15- Hansel and Gretel.- Oh! And there they are there, apparently!
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Joe!
0:08:16 > 0:08:19The giant from Giant...Jack And The Beanstalk.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Oh, the giant from The Giant, Jack And The Beanstalk(?)
0:08:22 > 0:08:23LAUGHTER
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Ashleigh!- Rapunzel.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Joe!- Snow White! - Joe!- Cinderella! Oh, no!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Get in the Shush Position, young man.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34You can't come back to me four times in a row!
0:08:34 > 0:08:35- JOE!- Awww.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- Callum!- Iain, because he's so beautiful... Um...
0:08:39 > 0:08:41LAUGHTER
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Callum went for a compliment and then had nothing.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46"Iain, because he's, um..."
0:08:46 > 0:08:49The only people that are more beautiful than you are in fairytales.
0:08:49 > 0:08:54- Oh, Callum, you can have a gold star for that.- Are you serious?!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57You're going to give a gold star for that bum-kissing?!
0:08:57 > 0:08:59You've said nothing but "piccalilli" since you got here!
0:09:01 > 0:09:03"Iain, because he's the most beautiful."
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- MIMICS IAIN:- "Oh, gold star for you." He hasn't answered the question!
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- You're not a fairytale character! - Romesh!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Er, Grumpy.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12LAUGHTER
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- And he's here tonight! - That's true!- Alex!
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- The Pied Piper of Hamlyn.- Ooh!
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Grace!- Elsa. - Frozen.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- Ashleigh! - The rats from Pied Piper.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- Ooh! - You can't pick rats!
0:09:24 > 0:09:26They are a character in a fairytale.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28They never talk, they just follow him!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- You can't do that and still speak! - Sorry!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Romesh.- Dopey.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36LAUGHTER
0:09:36 > 0:09:40And he's here tonight. Callum.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Mr Smash's wife, because actually,
0:09:43 > 0:09:49Mr Smash's wife is the alter ego for Cinderella's Fairy Godmother.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I'm going to have to put you in the Shush Position.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- That's not a fairytale character. Romesh.- Oh, Bashful.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55I can see a real theme.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- I think there's about four more left.- Alex!
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Christian, the bloke from Frozen.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Who?! That's not his name! His name's Kristoff!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- ALEX:- It is, his name's Christian.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12- His name's Kristoff! Get in the Shush Position!- Hang on.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- Shush Position.- That's what I meant. - Shush Position!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Grace!- Sven.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Ashleigh!- Snow White. - I said Snow White!
0:10:20 > 0:10:21You did not say Snow White.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Guys, Snow White has been said. Ashleigh's out.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27The points go to Grace's team.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34That means, at the end of that round,
0:10:34 > 0:10:38the gold star goes to... Grace's team.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:45 > 0:10:50Prepare to be astounded as you identify Who Do You Think I Am? OK.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Callum. You're up first, mate. Just going to get my prop on.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- Yep.- This is the serious bit, so no laughter.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Ha-ha-ha.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Ha-minny-hoo-la-la-la.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Aieeee.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- HIGH-PITCHED ENGLISH ACCENT: - I'm an English lady.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Who wrote many books.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17- Are you doing it now?- Yes! - Sorry, sorry.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20The idea of my most successful book
0:11:20 > 0:11:23came to me in a terrifying nightmare.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27The story I wrote probably gave many people nightmares
0:11:27 > 0:11:32but made me really famous, so I sleep well at night now. Who am I?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Gangsta Granny!- Gangsta Granny.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38"Ya get me, bruv?"
0:11:38 > 0:11:42It's time for clue number two. OK. Here we go.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Get it back together. Ha-minny-hooo.
0:11:47 > 0:11:53In 1814, I fell in love with a man named Percy. He's not a pig.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57We ran away together and travelled through Europe,
0:11:57 > 0:11:59hashtag YOLO.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Saying that, my main creature
0:12:02 > 0:12:06was most memorable from coming back from the dead,
0:12:06 > 0:12:10so it's really hashtag YOLT - you only live twice.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Who am I?
0:12:12 > 0:12:13WHO AM I?
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Right, final clue. Clue number three. Here we go.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25Even today, people still dress up as the figure I created,
0:12:25 > 0:12:30especially at Halloween, as he is particularly spooky-looking.
0:12:30 > 0:12:36- Who am I? Who am I?- Well, Alex is the only person that has an idea.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Alex, who am I?- Mary Shelley.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40I'm Mary Shelley!
0:12:40 > 0:12:43APPLAUSE
0:12:43 > 0:12:48Yes, creator of Frankenstein and his Monster.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50OK, Grace's team.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54It's time for clue number one. Here we go, OK.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Just get into character.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- COCKNEY ACCENT:- I'm an English man.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00LAUGHTER
0:13:00 > 0:13:05I joined the navy when I was 13. Whilst all the other teenagers
0:13:05 > 0:13:11were being stinky and gross, I was being all brave and that. Who am I?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- That's the worst London accent I've ever heard.- I've heard worse, Joe.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- The point is... - LAUGHTER
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Just get my next prop on.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22There we go. OK. Just...
0:13:24 > 0:13:29I became an explorer. I loved exploring, me!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32In 1910... Oh!
0:13:32 > 0:13:33LAUGHTER
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Don't laugh at me falling over!
0:13:37 > 0:13:42In 1910, I set off to be the first person to reach the South...
0:13:42 > 0:13:44the Saaarf Pole!
0:13:44 > 0:13:45LAUGHTER
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Can't tell whether my knees are knocking
0:13:47 > 0:13:49from all the excitement of the exploring
0:13:49 > 0:13:51or whether I'm just really cold!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Who am I?- Why'd you have to do that?
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- Cos that's how they speak! - That's not what London people do.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04They don't walk around in London,
0:14:04 > 0:14:07"All right, mate, oh, yeah, sorry I smacked you in the face
0:14:07 > 0:14:10"cos I can't stop doing this all the time, do you know what I mean?"
0:14:10 > 0:14:14- Who am I? - Captain Scott of the Antarctic?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16I'm only...
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Captain Scott of the Antarctic!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21APPLAUSE
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Or to my friends,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Robert Falcon Scott,
0:14:25 > 0:14:29for an adventurer of the 20th century. And, at the end of that,
0:14:29 > 0:14:34because of my phenomenal acting, you both got the correct answer.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37So, you both get a gold star. Well done, everybody!
0:14:37 > 0:14:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Now, it is time for a round where you really do need to show
0:14:46 > 0:14:51your workings out. Yep, it's time to take a dip in The Maths Bath.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53The Maths Bath!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Every school has got a maths bath, guys.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I want you to solve the sum using the props in the tub.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Grace's team, you're up first.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Please make your way to The Maths Bath!- The Maths Bath!
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Come on, guys.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10Here we go.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Grace wants to be a footballer, so has a football.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Joe wants to be a juggler, so has three times as many footballs
0:15:16 > 0:15:17as Grace.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Romesh wants to be centre of attention, at all times,
0:15:20 > 0:15:23and has one more football than Joe and tries to juggle them.
0:15:23 > 0:15:28As a result, Romesh loses two footballs.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Grace takes some bad career advice and becomes a duck farmer,
0:15:31 > 0:15:35instead of a footballer, so buys six rubber ducks.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Joe takes some terrible career advice and decides to become
0:15:39 > 0:15:43a duck juggler. Joe buys half as many rubber ducks as Grace.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47- Romesh has the worst career advice of all...- Slow down!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50..and becomes a thief. He steals two ducks
0:15:50 > 0:15:53from each of Grace and Joe. Feeling guilty,
0:15:53 > 0:15:55he decides to give the ducks to the poor,
0:15:55 > 0:15:57but Romesh considers himself to be poor,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- so keeps the ducks for himself. - What?!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02What are you talking about?!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Grace is a terrible duck farmer
0:16:04 > 0:16:07and buys bananas to feed her ducks.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10They get a banana each. One banana for each duck.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Joe is now toying with the idea
0:16:12 > 0:16:14of opening a school to teach monkeys to juggle.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16He has two monkeys,
0:16:16 > 0:16:17but needs three bananas.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- Romesh now wants to be a chef. - Can you slow down?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24He steals one banana from Joe and one banana from Grace,
0:16:24 > 0:16:28to make into a delicious banana soup.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32All three of them dance for joy. They all love banana soup
0:16:32 > 0:16:35and they keep dancing for the rest of the game.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39- After all the theft... - How is this maths?- It's maths!
0:16:39 > 0:16:43After all the theft, Grace wants to stand guard over her ducks.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46She disguises herself as a chicken, by getting a massive foam hand
0:16:46 > 0:16:48and putting it on the top of her head.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Joe thinks it will be easier for the monkeys to juggle if they have
0:16:51 > 0:16:53massive foam hands.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56He takes a pair and wears them, to demonstrate how it's done
0:16:56 > 0:16:57to the monkeys.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Romesh wants to set the record for giving the world's
0:17:00 > 0:17:02biggest high-five.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06He puts on a massive foam hand and waits for something to celebrate.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Grace wonders what it would feel like to be a giant chicken.
0:17:09 > 0:17:15She buys two gnomes and pretends that they are six-foot tall.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17SMASH!
0:17:17 > 0:17:18LAUGHTER
0:17:18 > 0:17:23- Joe buys one more gnome than Grace. - I can't pick up!- Romesh finds
0:17:23 > 0:17:24garden gnomes...
0:17:24 > 0:17:25SMASH!
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Pick up the gnomes!
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Romesh gets a feather boa and wears it like a blindfold.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Get it on like a blindfold.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36SMASH!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38LAUGHTER
0:17:42 > 0:17:43END-OF-ROUND BELL
0:17:45 > 0:17:48All right, guys, it's time to check your maths.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51I'm a vegan. These feathers are unacceptable, right?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53I think I swallowed one.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55LAUGHTER
0:17:55 > 0:17:58APPLAUSE
0:17:58 > 0:18:00OK, here we go.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Grace, you should have one football.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06- SMASH! - No, not another gnome!
0:18:06 > 0:18:11- Grace, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.- You dropped the other gnome!- I'm sorry.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Romesh, you should have two footballs.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15- What?!- One.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- Joe, you should have three footballs.- Yeah, I got three.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- Ooh!- Joe, you should have one duck. - You're going to drop the gnome.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- One duck? Here it is. - Grace and Romesh, you should have
0:18:26 > 0:18:28four ducks each.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32- I have a gnome!- Four ducks?- Yeah! - Is that four ducks? Well done!
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Romesh should have two bananas.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Two bananas!
0:18:37 > 0:18:38CHEERING
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Grace, you should have three bananas.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45- Oh.- Joe you should have two yellow bananas.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- They are in me pocket!- Yeah!
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Grace and Romesh, you should have one foam hand each.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Find you foam hand. There you go.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Joe, you should have two foam hands.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59Yeah!
0:18:59 > 0:19:01And, finally, Grace, you should have two gnomes.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03SMASH!
0:19:05 > 0:19:06You've got one?
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- Joe, you should have three gnomes. - Yeah!
0:19:11 > 0:19:12SMASH!
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Romesh, you should have a single feather boa.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- Well done to Grace's team. Take a seat.- Well done, Grace.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26OK, Callum's team, please make your way to The Maths Bath.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28The Maths Bath!
0:19:28 > 0:19:30OK, here we go...
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Let's go.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Callum has a dance class, so takes one feather boa.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Alex bought one more feather boa than Callum.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Ashleigh has double Geography, so needs double Alex's feather boas,
0:19:42 > 0:19:44to make a rope to escape out the window.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Alex wants to look popular, so brings two garden gnomes
0:19:48 > 0:19:52to have with lunch. Ashleigh bought two garden gnomes
0:19:52 > 0:19:56more than Alex. Callum bought one more than Ashleigh.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59However, two of his gnomes thought Alex was cooler,
0:19:59 > 0:20:01so joined Alex.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Alex has a giant pencil, to use in his Science.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Callum has one giant pencil more than Alex. Ashleigh has two
0:20:08 > 0:20:11giant pencils less than Callum, because in Science,
0:20:11 > 0:20:15she was experimenting with black holes and her pencil's now
0:20:15 > 0:20:18on the other side of the universe. Alex has one pair of deely boppers,
0:20:18 > 0:20:21cos he is dressing like an ant for Biology. Callum has one more pair
0:20:21 > 0:20:25of deely boppers than Alex. Ashleigh has two pairs of deely boppers
0:20:25 > 0:20:27more than Callum, cos Ashleigh is determined to be
0:20:27 > 0:20:29the most noticed person at the school disco.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33To get into the disco mood, Ashleigh, Callum and Alex
0:20:33 > 0:20:38all start dancing with their gnomes. Alex has PE, so needs one snorkel
0:20:38 > 0:20:40and one rubber ring.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Callum misses PE, but needs one snorkel and one rubber ring
0:20:43 > 0:20:47more than Alex. What are you doing?!
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- I'm laughing at him! - Don't drop a gnome!
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Ashleigh needs one snorkel more than Callum, because her PE
0:20:53 > 0:20:57and Music lessons clash. She is going to play drums underwater,
0:20:57 > 0:20:59but Ashleigh also needs two rubber rings.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03She uses these to swap with Callum for his giant pencils,
0:21:03 > 0:21:06because Ashleigh's forgotten drumsticks.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08What are you doing?!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10END-OF-ROUND BELL
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Time's up, time's up.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Come over here a little bit.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Get in the middle.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- Callum, you should have one feather boa.- Yes.- Yes.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28- Alex should have two feather boas. - Yes.- And Ashleigh, you should have
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- four feather boas.- I do, somewhere! - They got it right!
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Callum, you should have
0:21:36 > 0:21:37three garden gnomes.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I think I have only got one.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Alex and Ashleigh, you should have four each.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45- I've got four.- I've got four?!- Yes.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Yes!
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Alex, you should have one giant pencil.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Ashleigh should have two giant pencils.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- Oh!- And Callum should have none. I'm afraid I can't give you that one.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Alex should have one pair of deely boppers.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Callum should have two pairs of deely boppers.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07- One round my neck, one on my head. - All right. The old solid double
0:22:07 > 0:22:09deely bopper round the neck technique.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13And Ashleigh should be very noticeable
0:22:13 > 0:22:14in four pairs of deely boppers.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- One, two...- There's one on your bum!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Whoever wears deely boppers on their bum?!
0:22:22 > 0:22:25- They are in there somewhere. - I'll give you that one.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Alex, you should have one snorkel and two rubber rings.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33One snorkel and two rubber... No, no, only one.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37- Callum, you should have two snorkels.- I think I only have one.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- And four rubber rings.- What?!
0:22:39 > 0:22:44- Oh, dear.- Four?!- His deely boppers fell off in disgust.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Ashleigh, you should have three snorkels, but no rubber rings.
0:22:48 > 0:22:49LAUGHTER
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Why did I have two? I didn't put them on me!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56No gnomes were hurt during that stage. Well done.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:02 > 0:23:05The gold star in that round goes to Callum's team!
0:23:05 > 0:23:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:13 > 0:23:19Verily, it is that time. We must return to golden age of heraldry
0:23:19 > 0:23:23and chivalry, a time when people liked to dress up and run at stuff.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Yes, it's time for Popalot.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Grace, who do you think
0:23:28 > 0:23:31will be the best at running their big old head
0:23:31 > 0:23:33at a balloon?
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Well, I think, Joe, because I don't think Romesh would...
0:23:37 > 0:23:39What are you looking at me like that for?!
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- So, you are going to go with Joe?- Yes.
0:23:41 > 0:23:46Wicked. And Callum, who do you think, out of Alex and Ashleigh,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- is the best at popping balloons? - Erm...Ashleigh.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53OK. Jousters, it is popping time. Please collect your helmets
0:23:53 > 0:23:55and make your way to the jousting area.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57TRUMPET FANFARE
0:24:01 > 0:24:04CHANGES TO POP MUSIC
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Ah, they look good.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Lovely outfits.
0:24:09 > 0:24:15Knights, you know the rules. You must taketh your pointy head
0:24:15 > 0:24:18and bursteth the mosteth amount of balloonseth.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Let the games begineth...
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Goeth!!
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Hands off your spike, Joe! Joe, hands off your spike! Joe!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Come on!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Come on, Joe, you were made for this!
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Come on, guys!
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Come on! Hurry up!
0:25:09 > 0:25:10Come on!
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Yes!
0:25:16 > 0:25:17He's done it!
0:25:17 > 0:25:19END-OF-ROUND BELL
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Guys! Ashleigh, how do you feel?
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Stupid! That's how I feel!
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Joe Swash. You have found your calling in life!
0:25:32 > 0:25:33I knew this day would happen!
0:25:33 > 0:25:37And you popped all your balloons first, so the gold star goes to
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Grace's team!
0:25:39 > 0:25:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:46 > 0:25:51The time is nigh. It's time to find out who is heading for detention
0:25:51 > 0:25:53with Mr Smash.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:57 > 0:26:02OK, so let's see which team are swotty and which team are...
0:26:02 > 0:26:05ALL: Naughty!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09ALL: O-o-o-o-o-ooh...
0:26:09 > 0:26:10And the winners are
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Grace's team!
0:26:12 > 0:26:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Well done, Grace's team. That means there is a loser.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Sadly, it's Callum's team. Callum, Alex and Ashleigh,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26it's time to head to detention and take The Walk of Shame!
0:26:26 > 0:26:30# La-la-la-la, losers! La-la-la-la, losers!
0:26:30 > 0:26:34# La-la-la-la, losers! La-la-la-la, losers!
0:26:34 > 0:26:36# La-la-la-la, losers!
0:26:36 > 0:26:37# Losers! #
0:26:37 > 0:26:41So, well done to the winners - Grace, Romesh and Joe!
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Grace, get up here and hand in your homework! Come on!
0:26:46 > 0:26:50# La-la-la-la-la-la-la You are the winners
0:26:50 > 0:26:54# La-la-la-la-la-la-la You are the winners! #
0:26:54 > 0:26:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:56 > 0:26:59OK, let's have the losers back! Callum, Alex and Ashleigh,
0:26:59 > 0:27:02back from detention with Mr Smash!
0:27:02 > 0:27:06# La-la-la-la, losers! La-la-la-la, losers!
0:27:06 > 0:27:09# La-la-la-la, losers! La-la-la-la, losers!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11# La-la-la-la, losers! La-la-la-la, losers!
0:27:11 > 0:27:14# Losers! #
0:27:14 > 0:27:16I'm loving the tail!
0:27:19 > 0:27:22There you go. It's time now for the dog
0:27:22 > 0:27:24to come and collect the homework.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39Well, we didn't learn much, but it sure was fun trying.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42See you all next time on...
0:27:42 > 0:27:45ALL: The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48See ya!
0:27:48 > 0:27:50BURP!