0:00:42 > 0:00:45Get off of me! I don't care if you've had a bad romance,
0:00:45 > 0:00:47I don't want to go out with you, Lady Gaga!
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Oh, hello! Come on!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Yes!
0:00:54 > 0:00:55Hello, I'm Iain Stirling.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Welcome to the panel show, The Dog Ate My Homework -
0:00:58 > 0:00:59all about school.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Got any Sports Day fans in? Cheer if you're a fan of Sports Day.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05CHEERING
0:01:05 > 0:01:08It's better now than it was in your parents' day.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Listen to what your mum and dad had to do
0:01:10 > 0:01:13if they forgot their PE stuff for Sports Day.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16They had to do it in their underwear.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17LAUGHTER
0:01:17 > 0:01:22Imagine that - your dad running the 100m in his little Y-fronts,
0:01:22 > 0:01:23doing his dad running...
0:01:24 > 0:01:25..with just pants on.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Ridiculous!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Also, speaking of parents, you'll have this -
0:01:29 > 0:01:31there's always one parent at Sports Day
0:01:31 > 0:01:33that takes the whole thing far too seriously.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38That one angry dad on the side of the pitch, going...
0:01:38 > 0:01:40"Rrrrrr!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42"Come on, Gary, don't let the team down!"
0:01:44 > 0:01:46There you go, people, that's Sports Day.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54So, let's start things off with the school bell.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55SHIP'S HORN HONKS
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Yeah - going to have to get that fixed.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Let's meet the teams.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08On my left - her drama teacher says she's ready for the big time,
0:02:08 > 0:02:10so we bought her a giant clock.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12- It's Harley.- Here!
0:02:15 > 0:02:18And on Harley's team, from CBBC's Absolute Genius, it's Fran Scott.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Here!
0:02:20 > 0:02:23His report card says, "There's something funny about him."
0:02:23 > 0:02:25They were right - he's got his own sitcom.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It's Mr Khan from Citizen Khan - Adil Ray, everybody!
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Here.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32That's Harley's team.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35And moving right along to my right -
0:02:35 > 0:02:38"He talks proper funny an' that, and he's dead good at fings."
0:02:38 > 0:02:41I think he might have written that on his own report card.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43It's my mortal enemy, Jamie - all right, mate?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- Oh, yeah, I'm here, yeah.- Good.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48On Jamie's team - he proved that Simon Cowell
0:02:48 > 0:02:50isn't the only comedian in Britain's Got Talent.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52It's Jack Carroll.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58This guy's got the WRIGHT stuff, but the wrong hairstyle.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00From The 4 O'Clock Club, it's Dan Wright.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Yes, miss.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Make some noise for today's teams!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Right, teams - here's how it works.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17For every game you win, you get a gold star.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20AUDIENCE: Oooooh!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Easily impressed! And if you really impress me,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25I might even award you a bonus gold star.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27But make sure you stay on my good side
0:03:27 > 0:03:28cos I can just take them away.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Why? Because as far as things go, it's Iain's School, so it's...
0:03:33 > 0:03:36AUDIENCE: IAIN'S RULES!
0:03:36 > 0:03:38The team with the most gold stars at the end of the show
0:03:38 > 0:03:40gets to hand in their homework.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43But not the losers - all their hard work on their assignments
0:03:43 > 0:03:46will be lightly seasoned and fed to the dog.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48And on top of that, we'll give the losers
0:03:48 > 0:03:50detention with our terrifying PE teacher,
0:03:50 > 0:03:53a man so big we use him as a roundabout -
0:03:53 > 0:03:54it's Mr Smash.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Rrraaarrrggghhh!
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Rrrr-arrgghh! Rrr...
0:04:01 > 0:04:04DOG WHIMPERS
0:04:04 > 0:04:06I think they make a lovely couple,
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Enough of this - let's get on with this thing already!
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Time now for Weird Science -
0:04:18 > 0:04:21I'll show you some scientific facts, but with bits blanked out.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24All you guys have to do is fill in the missing words.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26OK, here's your first science fact.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Please buzz in if you think you know the correct answer,
0:04:29 > 0:04:31or a funny answer.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Women BLANK twice as much as BLANK.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35HORN HONKS
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Women fancy ginger people twice as much as regular people.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Oh!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Yes.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45BELL RINGS
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Women fancy Asian people twice as much as ginger people.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Oh!- No way, mate.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54BELL CLANGS
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Women fancy popular Scottish TV presenters
0:04:58 > 0:05:00twice as much as everyone else.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04APPLAUSE
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Thank you.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Right, it involves your eyeballs. It involves your eyeballs.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11HORN HONKS
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Women have twice as many eyes in the back of their head...
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Twice as many eyeballs in their face.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Know when your mum used to say she's got eyes in the back of her head?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Yeah?- That was a lie.- Oh, no!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26I'm going to give you the answer...
0:05:26 > 0:05:28BELL RINGS
0:05:28 > 0:05:30- It's one of two.- Oh, look at...
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Look at Mrs Neuroscience!
0:05:33 > 0:05:37"Oh, it could be one of many of my options I've got in my brain."
0:05:37 > 0:05:41- What is it? - Cry twice as much as men.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44No, it is quite... So near.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I'll give you a clue.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Hey, Fran. - That was the other...
0:05:48 > 0:05:49HORN HONKS
0:05:49 > 0:05:50No! You didn't buzz...
0:05:50 > 0:05:52BELL RINGS
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Women blink twice as much as men.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- Correct!- Yes!
0:06:00 > 0:06:05OK, next clue. BLANKS have 32 brains.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06HORN HONKS
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- Jack?- 32 people have 32 brains.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13I mean, that is true - that is correct.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15That should be on here. But it isn't.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Tell you what, Jack, you can have a gold star for that, cos it is right.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20- Yeah!- Anyone else?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24BELL RINGS
0:06:24 > 0:06:2616 twins have 32 brains.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28I'm going to give you a gold star.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30APPLAUSE, HORN HONKS
0:06:30 > 0:06:34I'm not very good at maths, so can we stop this now?
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Let's move on - anyone else? It's an insect.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40HORN HONKS Iain doesn't have 32 brains.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42In fact, he doesn't even have one.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- We're trying to get points here! - Jamie, Jamie...
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Remember that gold star that Jack got earlier on?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50- It's gone. Mate.- Oh...!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52BELL RINGS
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Adil!- I know it!- What is it?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Leeches, or a leech, has 32 brains.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58Is correct!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Right, we'll go to the next one.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09If you put BLANK in water, it would BLANK.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- BELL RINGS - Yes, Adil?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14If you put an "I" in "water",
0:07:14 > 0:07:16it would spell "waiter".
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I mean, I like that a lot. I'll give you a gold star for that.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23BELL RINGS
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- Yes.- If you put a solid in water, it would sink,
0:07:26 > 0:07:29but if you put a non-solid in water,
0:07:29 > 0:07:33it would...go on top of the water.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35You're onto something now! I think the answer is...
0:07:35 > 0:07:37FRAN WHISPERS
0:07:37 > 0:07:40HORN HONKS If you put Saturn in water...
0:07:40 > 0:07:41SHE LAUGHS
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- If you put Saturn in water, it would...- Float.- Float!
0:07:45 > 0:07:47If you put Saturn in water, it would float -
0:07:47 > 0:07:48correct!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Yeah!- Yes!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:07:56 > 0:07:57Time up - well done.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01So let's find out who's on a roll and who's in a black hole.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05I'll have to give it to Harley's team, everybody - well done.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Nee-naw! Nee-naw! Nee-naw! Nee-naw!
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Oh, it's the school nurse. What are you doing here?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Oh, I can't keep a lid on it any more -
0:08:17 > 0:08:21there's a flea infestation at the school.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25My goodness me - look at the encrustation under those nails!
0:08:25 > 0:08:30There's fleas here, and I will find them.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Now, this is what I like to see. You see this? Look at this.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37These ears are impeccably clean.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40You can see daylight right through them.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43In fact, there's nothing in this wee boy's head at all.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44That's quite remarkable.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48I...should...have...guessed.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51You dirty wee monkey!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55MR SMASH SPLUTTERS
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Nee-naw! Nee-naw!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08It's time now for...I've Arted.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10LAUGHTER
0:09:10 > 0:09:13So, the most-talented artist from each team
0:09:13 > 0:09:16will use their drawing skills to sketch the well-known phrase
0:09:16 > 0:09:19on these here cards - hiya -
0:09:19 > 0:09:22while the rest of you work out what the heck it is.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Every correct guess gets you a gold star. Easy peasy.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Jamie, who do you think is the most talented artist in your team?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Dan.- Dan.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35And Harley - who is the most talented artist on your team?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- What do you think? - I'm going to choose Adil.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39I like your logic.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41LAUGHTER
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Everyone join me down at the boards. Come on, let's go!
0:09:50 > 0:09:51All right, guys.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55I've got what you need to draw on this card, OK?
0:09:55 > 0:09:58But hang on a second - there's a bit missing in this board.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01We need to fill it in. I think we need something thick...
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Perfect - Mr Smash and the school nurse.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08All right, guys. Have a quick look before we start.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11That's what you're drawing first. It's there...
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Right. And...go, go, go!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- FRAN:- A devil! A cow! A cat!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20- A devil?!- Raining cats and dogs!
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- A dog! A cat!- Cat!
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- Guys, come on!- Oh!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30THEY SHOUT SUGGESTIONS
0:10:32 > 0:10:33What is it? Where's it going...?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38QUIET AS A MOUSE!
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- Yes!- Come on!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Take these ones down - it was quiet as a mouse.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Yes, yes.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Get it down, get it down, get it down!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Do it...
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Three, two, one, go!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02JAMIE: Elephant, elephant!
0:11:03 > 0:11:04- Dog ears...- All ears!
0:11:04 > 0:11:07CHEERING
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Quick! That was all ears. Well done, Dan.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Yes!
0:11:12 > 0:11:13Get 'em down, get 'em down.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18All we did was three ears.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Adil, you're doing not bad, man. There you go, buddy.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Dan, Dan, Dan.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26There you go. Here we go - three, two, one, go again!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- The sun! The sun! - Sun is shining!
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I don't know, this is not a good start.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43No idea. Em...
0:11:43 > 0:11:45TV? Light?
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- I don't know...- What is that?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Er...
0:11:53 > 0:11:54You're right with that.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57It's more you'd have it in front of the fire...
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- A rug!- A rug - that's a rug, we've got rug!
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- They got it!- Snug as a bug in a rug!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Snug as a bug in a rug!- Yes!
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Right, guys, next one...
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Three, two, one... Oh...
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Oh, he means business now!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Three, two, one, go!
0:12:21 > 0:12:23JAMIE: Smiley face...
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Friends!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Friends, no...
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Two heads are better than one!
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Yeah! Jamie!
0:12:33 > 0:12:34Very good!
0:12:34 > 0:12:37But Mr Smash, no!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Two heads, yeah. Mr Smash, no...
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oh!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Let's move on, take 'em down.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47I didn't get that.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Last one, last one. This...
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- Last one. This.- OK.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58OK, here we go. Three, two, one, go!
0:12:58 > 0:13:02JAMIE: Um...it's a dress.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Oh, that's not bad at all!
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- It's a dress! - Hat!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10THEY SHOUT SUGGESTIONS
0:13:10 > 0:13:12No...no.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15- New egg! New egg! - You're close with egg...
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Egg what? Egg what?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22- Smile egg!- Egg head!
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Yes! Fran got it!
0:13:28 > 0:13:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:32 > 0:13:34We've got the unhappiest egg in the whole wide world.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- SCHOOL BELL RINGS - That's your time up.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40I can tell you that the team that got the most right there,
0:13:40 > 0:13:41and getting the gold star,
0:13:41 > 0:13:44is Harley's team!
0:13:44 > 0:13:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:51 > 0:13:54It's time for Wot Happened Woz, the round where our teams
0:13:54 > 0:13:58have to invent a belter of an excuse for not handing in their homework.
0:13:58 > 0:14:03Let's get some words right now from our studio audience!
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Let's do this! Come on!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Oh...oh, hands are up.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Sir, do you know any?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Doughnuts.- Doughnuts. That's a good word.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22All right, mate? What's your name?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- Marcelis.- Marcelis?- Yeah.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Wow! That's amazing. Are you an international football player?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- Yeah.- Good.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Glad we've got a celebrity on the show. What's your word?
0:14:34 > 0:14:40- Pineapples.- Pineapples - plural. Greedy. I like it. There you go.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43I can't be bother going any further. Come down here.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- What happened to the rest of your T-shirt?- I don't know.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50- You don't know? It got nicked! What's your name, buddy?- Joshua.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- And what's your word, Joshua? - B-B-Bonkers.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54B-B-Bonkers.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Oh - my bum's right in your face, there, sorry about that.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00We're going to go down a bit further.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Going to go over here a bit...
0:15:02 > 0:15:05This man here's got an interesting T-shirt on. I like you, sir.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07- What's your name, buddy?- Gregor.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- And what's your word, pal? - Objection.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Objection - I object to that answer, young man!
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Surprise Mum attack - pee-ow!
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- What's your word?- I'm using Lucy's, which is chinchilla.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Chinchilla - oh, Lucy, you're going to have to think fast!
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Cat.- Cat. It's just like a big chinchilla.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29That's what you've done there.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34If I go down here...oh, I like your glasses. Both of you have glasses.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37I'll go in the middle of the two - look at this.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Look over there, the three of us...
0:15:41 > 0:15:44THEY LAUGH
0:15:44 > 0:15:47We are the glass triplets.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49What's your name, glass triplet number one?
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- Eilidh.- Eilidh.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53What's yours, glass triplet number three?
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- Freya.- Freya.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Never put an "R" in a Scottish person's name. Spit.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Rrrr...!
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- What's your word?- Perpendicular. - Perpendicular.
0:16:04 > 0:16:09We can go further over - one last one, last one...
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Ooh! Ooh! Ooh, me! Me!
0:16:12 > 0:16:14If you can give me a high five, you can ask a...
0:16:14 > 0:16:19High five. High five. High five, you give me the word.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21All I'm wanting, the high five.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Right - three of you, think of a word together.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Pick one. Don't let me hear it.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Right, get in line, get in line.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31On the count of three, say a word - one, two, three...
0:16:31 > 0:16:33ALL: Bazooka!
0:16:33 > 0:16:34I think we've got enough words.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Let's go back down and play the game, come on!
0:16:41 > 0:16:46OK! So...here, I've got eight words. I also have a bell.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47CLANG!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Whoo! - I'm...ooh, thank you!
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I'm going to give you a word
0:16:51 > 0:16:53and you'll have to use it in your excuse.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55When I get bored, I'll use my bell again...
0:16:55 > 0:16:57CLANG!
0:16:57 > 0:17:00..and your team-mate will carry on the story with a new word.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Harley's team, you're up first, we'll start with you, Harley.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Your word, to start with, is "doughnut".
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- So - hi, Harley. You well? - Um, I...
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Where's my homework? You haven't handed in the homework?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- See, I've got something to say. - Oh, dear.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19I was at home and I was eating my breakfast
0:17:19 > 0:17:23and then my hamster, called Mr Doughnut...
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Mr Doughnut?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Yes, his name is Mr Doughnut. Basically...
0:17:27 > 0:17:30You keep saying "doughnut", we're moving on.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34OK. Our next word is "b-b-bonkers".
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Well, basically, I was about to come to school
0:17:36 > 0:17:39and then the hamster, Mr Doughnut, got called to the circus
0:17:39 > 0:17:41and I had to take Mr Doughnut to the circus
0:17:41 > 0:17:44and at the circus, they were doing trapeze acts, and they were like...
0:17:44 > 0:17:45CLANG!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47I wonder what else they were doing, Fran.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Your word is objection.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Erm, and they were doing a lot of trapeze acts,
0:17:52 > 0:17:56but the thing is, they were doing trapeze acts in a school hall,
0:17:56 > 0:17:59which the caretaker had great objection to...
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- Oh - health and safety in those places, nightmare.- Nightmare.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Why was it a nightmare, Harley? Your word is "chinchilla".
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Because it's just these stupid chinchillas!
0:18:10 > 0:18:15They just run everywhere and just poo everywhere!
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- It is very disgusting.- So why didn't you hand in your homework?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Because...
0:18:22 > 0:18:24ADIL WHISPERS Shh! No.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- Because my hamster, Mr Doughnut... - Yeah...
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- ..ate my homework...- No...
0:18:30 > 0:18:34..then the chinchillas ate Mr Doughnut.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Oh, no!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38So I cannot hand in my homework.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42And I would like everybody to attend Mr Doughnut's funeral...
0:18:42 > 0:18:43IAIN LAUGHS
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Give it up for Harley's team, everybody!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:18:52 > 0:18:56All right, so we're over to Jamie's team.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59- Jamie, your word is "pineapple". - "S"!
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Jamie, just going to ask you, where's...?
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- ANNOUNCER:- SCHOOL DISCO!
0:19:05 > 0:19:06School disco!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09MUSIC: Best Day Of My Life by American Authors
0:19:09 > 0:19:13# This is gonna be the best day of my life
0:19:13 > 0:19:16# My li-i-i-fe
0:19:16 > 0:19:18# Oo-o-o-o-ooh
0:19:18 > 0:19:23# This is gonna be the best day of my life
0:19:23 > 0:19:24# My li-i-i... #
0:19:24 > 0:19:26RECORD SCRATCHES
0:19:28 > 0:19:30So, Jamie, where's your homework, mate?
0:19:30 > 0:19:35Well, I was walking to school, and I came across this rather
0:19:35 > 0:19:37quite large, pineapple.
0:19:37 > 0:19:42- No. How big are we talking? Use Dan as an example.- Massive!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45No, bigger than that, Dan.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Yeah, that's it.- That big?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50And apparently, there was this old guy,
0:19:50 > 0:19:53and he was selling this pineapple.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57He said that it was magic and it could create homework.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I wonder why it was magic...
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- CLANG! - ..Dan - your word is "cat".
0:20:01 > 0:20:07It was magic, because the homework, all of a sudden,
0:20:07 > 0:20:09started to attract cats from the nearest neighbourhoods.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13And as all the cats gathered around the homework, they all started...
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- CLANG! - They all started what, Jack?
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Your word is "perpendicular".
0:20:18 > 0:20:21They all started forming a line, two lines,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24one of which was perpendicular to the other one.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28- APPLAUSE - Yeah! Yeah!
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Wait, wait, wait -
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- you're getting a gold star for that. - Great, great.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:20:35 > 0:20:37But then, it turns out this pineapple...
0:20:37 > 0:20:38CLANG!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41This pineapple was what, Jamie? Your word's "bazooka".
0:20:41 > 0:20:46This pineapple had also other magic powers - it could fire out,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49like, bazooka-like...pineapple rings.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53It was so weird, it was going all over the place.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Everything was covered. Gammon had pineapple on it...
0:20:57 > 0:21:00It was fending off all the cats cos it didn't want them
0:21:00 > 0:21:04to rip up the homework, but sadly and unfortunately,
0:21:04 > 0:21:06a cat ripped up my homework,
0:21:06 > 0:21:09so that's why I don't have it today.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13You're saying, "The cat ate my homework"?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- Yes.- Well, there you go. Give it up for Jamie's team, everybody.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Please make some noise if you're a fan of Harley's.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23Give me a cheer...
0:21:23 > 0:21:26CHEERING
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Oh, it's loud. Oh, it's loud.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Oh, it's loud.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36OK, OK, OK - or, if you're more a fan of the bazooka pineapple,
0:21:36 > 0:21:38make some noise for Jamie's team.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41LOUDER CHEERS
0:21:47 > 0:21:50There you go - the gold star goes to Jamie's team!
0:21:56 > 0:22:00OK, OK...let's calm down for a bit.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Imagine we're back in merrie ye olde England,
0:22:03 > 0:22:06where brave knights would mount trusty steeds
0:22:06 > 0:22:09and do battle for the heart of a proud maidens.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Now, come out of that dream and imagine two idiots
0:22:11 > 0:22:14with spikes on their heads attacking lots of balloons.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Yes it's Pop-A-Lot, the game they would have played in the olden days
0:22:18 > 0:22:20if only they discovered rubber.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24One grown-up from each team will go head to head - literally -
0:22:24 > 0:22:28using these balloon jousting helmets.
0:22:28 > 0:22:33They must compete to see who can pop the most balloons before the bell.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Jamie, can you pick your Pop-A-Lotter?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38I'm going to have to pick Dan for this one.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Yes, I will, I will take this on.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43What about you, Harley? Who are you going to go with?
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- I'm going to give Fran a go. - OK, guys, get your helmets
0:22:47 > 0:22:50and make your way to the jousting area.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52FANFARE
0:22:56 > 0:23:00MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:00 > 0:23:05Lords and ladies, please welcome Sir Dan and Sir Fran!
0:23:08 > 0:23:12Get in there. Be careful - those horses are wild, aren't they, Dan?
0:23:12 > 0:23:15They are!
0:23:15 > 0:23:18WHINNYING, HOOVES CLATTER
0:23:23 > 0:23:26OK - lords and ye olde ladies,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29I now declare this tourney beguneth!
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Three, two, one...go!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:34 > 0:23:37SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Get your head right in there!
0:23:40 > 0:23:44Go on, Dan! Go on, Dan! Whoa!
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Get your head lower!
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Get the ones on top! Get the ones on top!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Get your head lower, Dan!
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Dan!
0:23:55 > 0:23:56Sir Fran is dominating!
0:23:58 > 0:23:59Get it!
0:24:01 > 0:24:02Go!
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Go on! Keep going, keep going!
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Don't sit on your horse, Dan!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Come on, Fran!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Dan, that was a shocker!
0:24:23 > 0:24:27- SCHOOL BELL RINGS - That's it! Stop! Stop! Stop!
0:24:27 > 0:24:32Well, I was worried this game was going to be a difficult decision...
0:24:32 > 0:24:35- LAUGHTER - It's not my fault! It's this horse!
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- What did he do?- He wouldn't...take me in the right direction.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43- IAIN LAUGHS - Did you burst any?- Excuse me!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45I've done at least six!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Well, you don't have to be a scientist like Fran
0:24:47 > 0:24:51to know that Fran won there, so the gold star goes to Harley's team!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Well, I've taught you all I can.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06It's time to find out who are our top dogs,
0:25:06 > 0:25:08and who are our bottom badgers.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Who will be facing detention with Mr Smash?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15MR SMASH MUNCHES
0:25:21 > 0:25:23MR SMASH BREAKS WIND
0:25:23 > 0:25:24AUDIENCE: Ugh!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I'll...yeah, I'll keep that.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Oh, dear - it's time to find out which team are swotty,
0:25:32 > 0:25:33and which team are...
0:25:33 > 0:25:36AUDIENCE: NOT-TY!
0:25:36 > 0:25:38AUDIENCE: Ooh...
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Congratulations to...
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Harley's team!
0:25:46 > 0:25:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:53 > 0:25:57Well done, guys. You're a shining example to us all.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Unlucky, Jamie's team - you're the losers,
0:25:59 > 0:26:02which means you need to hand your homework over
0:26:02 > 0:26:04to a dog...more specifically, this dog.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Here he is.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13And guys, it's time to take the walk of shame.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:15 > 0:26:17# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:17 > 0:26:19# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:19 > 0:26:21# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:21 > 0:26:24# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:24 > 0:26:25# Losers! #
0:26:25 > 0:26:30OK - well done to the winners, Fran, Harley and Adil!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35You do get to hand in your homework.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Hand over your homework, hand it over.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39# La-la-la, la-la-la-la
0:26:39 > 0:26:41# You are the winners! #
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Thank you very much, cheers.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48OK, let's have the losers back in for detention with Mr Smash!
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Mr Smash, take it away!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:52 > 0:26:54# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:54 > 0:26:55# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:55 > 0:26:58# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers
0:26:58 > 0:26:59# Losers. #
0:26:59 > 0:27:03MR SMASH BREAKS WIND
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Oh-ho-ho!
0:27:09 > 0:27:12All right. Well, tell you what, we didn't learn much,
0:27:12 > 0:27:14but we had fun trying.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16See you next time on...
0:27:16 > 0:27:19AUDIENCE: ..THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK!
0:27:19 > 0:27:21See ya!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24BURPING