0:00:02 > 0:00:03ANGRY SHOUTS
0:00:03 > 0:00:04BABBLES
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Argh!
0:00:11 > 0:00:13WHIZZING
0:00:17 > 0:00:18GROWLING
0:00:31 > 0:00:33CHEERING
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Yeah, hi, Mum.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Yeah. No, I'm filming a TV show.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Yeah, I'm filming a TV show.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Yeah, my pants?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Yeah, they're fresh on today. Yeah.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Oh, I've got to call you back!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Hello!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Are we all well?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Good, nice one.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Hello, I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:01:02 > 0:01:04a panel show all about school.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07If there was one thing I could change about school, it would be this.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Reading out loud in class.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13I know, it's horrible. You have to get up early for school,
0:01:13 > 0:01:14you're still half asleep,
0:01:14 > 0:01:17your mum's screaming at you like she's in an action film,
0:01:17 > 0:01:20"Get in the car! Get in the car!"
0:01:20 > 0:01:23"Mum, we're going to school, not war! Chill out!"
0:01:23 > 0:01:24LAUGHTER
0:01:24 > 0:01:28"Get in the car, right now!"
0:01:28 > 0:01:30If you're even like five minutes late, she just ends up on the floor
0:01:30 > 0:01:33like, "Get in the... Get in the car!
0:01:33 > 0:01:36"Get in the car this instant!"
0:01:36 > 0:01:39You finally get to class, the textbooks come out
0:01:39 > 0:01:40and then your teacher says,
0:01:40 > 0:01:44"Let's go round the class and read a paragraph each."
0:01:44 > 0:01:47"How about no, mate?
0:01:47 > 0:01:48"You're the teacher.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51"How about you learn what I need to know and then you can tell me?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53"I don't see you reading anything."
0:01:53 > 0:01:56I've got a theory that teachers can't read.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59LAUGHTER But anyway, enough about that.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Let's talk about these guys in a minute.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02So, can I please have the school bell?
0:02:02 > 0:02:05# The wheels on the bus go round and round
0:02:05 > 0:02:09# Round and round round and round. #
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Hi, Mum? Yeah, I'm going to call you back.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13OK. Sorry about that.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Let's meet the teams. Come on!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17APPLAUSE
0:02:21 > 0:02:24So, on my left we have a girl who goes to a school
0:02:24 > 0:02:26that's really difficult to get into,
0:02:26 > 0:02:27in that it has tiny little doors.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- It's Mandy.- Hi. - APPLAUSE
0:02:31 > 0:02:35And on Mandy's team we have someone who studied psychology at school
0:02:35 > 0:02:37because she wanted to know what made people tick.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39People don't tick, you silly girl.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40It's Michelle Ackerley.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42APPLAUSE
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Next, the guy who's known for his amazing dance moves.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I once saw him do a 360 backflip then land on his head.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50It's called the Falling Over.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Give it up for Inel from Johnny And Inel.
0:02:52 > 0:02:58APPLAUSE That's Mandy's team, everybody!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01And on my right is a boy that never misses a day off school.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03I mean, he's had loads of days off,
0:03:03 > 0:03:05but he doesn't miss it. It's Elijah.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07APPLAUSE
0:03:07 > 0:03:10And on Elijah's team is a dog that taught me
0:03:10 > 0:03:12all I know about TV presenting,
0:03:12 > 0:03:14which is why we're both terrible.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- It's Hacker T Dog!- Thank you.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- APPLAUSE - Thank you.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22And on their team is a man that was very clever at school.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24He started writing stories on his first day.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Sadly, it took five years to learn how to read them.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29It's Johnny from Johnny And Inel.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30APPLAUSE
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Please give it up for both teams!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35HACKER HOWLS
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Now, sit up straight and pay attention.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Here's how this thing works.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Games will be lost and won, brows will be furrowed
0:03:43 > 0:03:45teeth will be gnashed, but only a winner
0:03:45 > 0:03:48will get themselves a shiny gold star.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50AUDIENCE: Ooooo!
0:03:50 > 0:03:54I might even hand out a bonus star if I like what I'm hearing.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55AUDIENCE: Wooo!
0:03:55 > 0:03:58But I'll also take them away if I don't.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59AUDIENCE: Aw...
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Oh, madam!
0:04:01 > 0:04:03So, you'll have to work very hard for every star
0:04:03 > 0:04:05and remember it's Iain's school so it's...
0:04:05 > 0:04:07ALL: Iain's rules!
0:04:07 > 0:04:10At the end of the show the starriest panel will get to
0:04:10 > 0:04:13hand in their homework, but not the losers, no way.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Their useless efforts will be fed to The Dog Ate My Homework dog
0:04:16 > 0:04:18and they will suffer detention with a man so massive
0:04:18 > 0:04:20he's got his own gravitational pull.
0:04:20 > 0:04:25It's Mr Smash, who today has invented an intelligence machine.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27LAUGHTER
0:04:27 > 0:04:30ELECTRONIC PULSING
0:04:32 > 0:04:33SILENCE
0:04:33 > 0:04:35LAUGHTER
0:04:38 > 0:04:40ELECTRONIC PULSING
0:04:40 > 0:04:42LAUGHTER
0:04:43 > 0:04:46SILENCE
0:04:46 > 0:04:49MACHINE WHIRRS DOWN
0:04:49 > 0:04:52YELLING
0:04:54 > 0:04:56SNUFFLY CHUCKLING
0:04:56 > 0:04:58APPLAUSE
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Anyway, let's get down to business!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04CHEERING
0:05:07 > 0:05:09It's time now for Stick To The Point.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- VOICE-OVER MAN: - 'Stick To The Point.'
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Thank you, mysterious voice-over man.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16This is where we ask the most serious
0:05:16 > 0:05:19and important questions of our time, like, "Hey, Iain.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23"When's your fragrance coming out?" Well, I can tell you it's out now.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25I just found it. Here it is.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27It's called Guff.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28LAUGHTER
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Guff by Iain.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Hey, as anyone ever smelled my Guff?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35LAUGHTER
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Anyway, so I'm going to ask you some quickfire questions
0:05:37 > 0:05:39and you need to answer them as fast as you can.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42If you're not quick or repeat someone else's answer then you have to
0:05:42 > 0:05:44put yourself in the shush position,
0:05:44 > 0:05:45and you're out of the game.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48A shiny gold star for the team that is last standing.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51For this, I need my Stick Of Pointlessness.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53ZAP
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Ah, it normally appears by magic.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Hacker. Give me that.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Give me the... Give me the stick.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Give me the stick!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Oh, is that Sue Barker? - Sue! Sue! Sue!
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Please take back that restraining order, Sue.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10LAUGHTER
0:06:10 > 0:06:13APPLAUSE
0:06:14 > 0:06:18OK, animals that make you scream.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Johnny?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Tigers.- Yes. Inel?- Wolves.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Yes. Hacker?- Yonko.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Yes. Mandy?- Snakes.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28- Yes. Elijah?- Lions.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29Yes. Mandy?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Wolves... Oh, wait. No.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33We've had that. Get in the shush position.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Hacker?- Penguins!
0:06:35 > 0:06:37LAUGHTER
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Penguins!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40What don't you like about penguins?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42I don't trust them.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43LAUGHTER
0:06:43 > 0:06:45It's the way they walk.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48They look like they're constantly sneaking somewhere.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Don't do it!
0:06:50 > 0:06:53It brings back the memories!
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Quack! Quack! Quack!
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Quack! Quack! Quack!
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- I prefer Yonko.- Michelle?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- Hacker!- Yes!
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Oh, come on.- He makes me scream.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- Elijah?- Iain Stirling.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- Technically an animal.- Yeah. - Technically.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- You're a human... Actually, is he a human?- Well done, lads.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Johnny and Elijah are now in the shush position.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Get in.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21- You are technically an animal! - Get in, get in.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23- He's an animal! - Get in! Get in!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26And a bonus gold star to Mandy's team.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28CHEERING
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Inel?- Crocodiles!
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Hacker?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Wimbledon!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35LAUGHTER
0:07:35 > 0:07:37They've got Wombles.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40LAUGHTER
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- Michelle?- Bull frogs.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Oh, bull frogs.- They're freaky.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- Hacker?- Sellotape...
0:07:46 > 0:07:49LAUGHTER
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- ..on a hamster. - Get in a shush position.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- The points go to Mandy's team in that round.- Yes!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Next question, things you need for camping.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- Hacker the dog?- A hat!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- Yes. Michelle?- High heels.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10High heels for camping?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Glamping, it's a form of camping. - You are our most glamorous guest.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- Thanks.- Well done. Elijah?- A tent.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- Yes! Inel?- Wellington boots...
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Oh, yes.- ..specifically. - Johnny?- Marshmallows.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22I'm not going otherwise, it's that simple.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24I would rather sleep without a tent,
0:08:24 > 0:08:27but as long as... I could sleep under marshmallows
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- and eat my way out.- You could make a sort of sugary igloo.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Exactly!- Michelle?
0:08:33 > 0:08:36A rolly up mat so it's nice and soft on the ground when you're sleeping.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Oh, Michelle.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- Hacker?- Portable DVD player!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42LAUGHTER
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Which region?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Oh... Forget it.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48LAUGHTER
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Mandy?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Shush position, young lady.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55You've got your finger in readiness. Johnny?
0:08:55 > 0:08:59- Walkie-talkies.- Yes, please. Michelle?- Erm...
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Shush position, young lady. Elijah?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- A map.- Yes! Inel?- Toilet paper.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Johnny?
0:09:05 > 0:09:09A spare oxygen supply, because in that very dark day
0:09:09 > 0:09:12where you're in the tent, it's locked up and someone farts,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15it's all over...
0:09:15 > 0:09:17You need...
0:09:18 > 0:09:20LAUGHTER
0:09:20 > 0:09:24You're in the tent and Iain sprays Guff, you need that oxygen supply.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25LAUGHTER
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Inel?- Antibac for your hands.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Hacker the dog?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Get in the shush position!
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- Sorry. Can I swap teams?- No! - Didn't want to, didn't want to.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36- Come over here.- Elijah?
0:09:36 > 0:09:40If you've got a tent then you need, like, those sticks that you use to
0:09:40 > 0:09:42put up the tent. Otherwise, it's just going to go...
0:09:42 > 0:09:45They would be supplied with said tent!
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Elijah, sticks do come with the tent. You've already said tent.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you in the shush position.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- Inel?- A flask.- Let's go quickfire.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- Johnny?- Fox repellent.- Inel?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- Badger repellent.- Johnny?
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Eagle repellent. They make me scream.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Inel?- Snake repellent.- Johnny?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Lion repellent.- Inel?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Gorilla pro..repellent!
0:10:08 > 0:10:11- Johnny?- He said "propellant"... Tiger repellent.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Inel?- Zebra repellent!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Johnny and Inel repellent!
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Johnny?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- I would go for penguin repellent, that's totally fine.- Inel?
0:10:21 > 0:10:24All right, I'll go for squirrel repellent.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- Oh, yeah?- Johnny?- Rat repellent.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30- Inel?- Dinosaur repellent.- Johnny?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Shush position!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34BUZZ!
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Well done, Inel!- Woo-hoo!
0:10:38 > 0:10:42I'm going to give the gold star to Mandy's team.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50This next round is called Say Whaaaaaaat?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53'Say Whaaaaaaat?'
0:10:53 > 0:10:54This is where unusual looking
0:10:54 > 0:10:56words will appear onscreen.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58It's a bit like walking through a Welsh train station.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59All you have to do is tell me
0:10:59 > 0:11:00what the word means
0:11:00 > 0:11:02and which language it's from.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04It's easy, or as the French would say,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07"C'est easy-peasy nens pas."
0:11:07 > 0:11:09LAUGHTER
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Oh, good. You've both got buzzers.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14So, Elijah, can I hear your buzzer, please?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16DING! Nice one.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17And, Mandy, can I hear your buzzer, please?
0:11:17 > 0:11:20HONK! Oh, that sounds like...
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Guff.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25OK, let's have the first word.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26What does this word mean?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28What does this word mean? DING!
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- I know!- Yes, Hacker.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Is it what a badger says?
0:11:33 > 0:11:39Do you know, when a badger...? A badger... A badger would say it.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Can you hear me?- Yeah. - Is this on? A BADGER.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- Would say poubelle?- Yeah.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Why?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Pfft, I don't know.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Anyone got anything that makes sense? HONK!
0:11:54 > 0:11:59- Oh, yes, Mandy. - Is it a French word for some food?
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Ah, it's a French word.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Oh, it's a French word!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- I know, I know!- Yes? - French word for badger.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11No, it's not. Anyone else? DING!
0:12:11 > 0:12:13French word for a penguin.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17No, not, the memories! No!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20HE SQUAWKS AT HACKER
0:12:20 > 0:12:21No, it's not penguin.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22It's a French word...
0:12:22 > 0:12:23I'm going to give you a guess each
0:12:23 > 0:12:25and then I'll give you the answer.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Elijah's team, French word for what?
0:12:27 > 0:12:28Chicken.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Well done, Hacker's just ruined your chances there.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33- Rubbish.- Sorry?
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- French word for rubbish.- So close!
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I'd love to give you it, but it's the French word meaning "dustbin".
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Oh!
0:12:41 > 0:12:44That would have been my next guess!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- I know what you're thinking, though, Hacker. What?- How's it pronounced?
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Let me tell you, it sounds a little something like this.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53DEEP VOICE: Poubelle.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55LAUGHTER
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Next one. What does this word mean? Flapdoodle.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00DING! Elijah?
0:13:00 > 0:13:05Is it a bird that's really, really good at drawing?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07And it has a pencil or something
0:13:07 > 0:13:08in its mouth and sort of goes,
0:13:08 > 0:13:10- "Ark! Ark!"- It's unlikely.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Hacker, you can do a good impression
0:13:12 > 0:13:14of a flapdoodle, can't you?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17I can, yeah, but I'm not doing it in-vision. I'll just... Kah.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19I just did it. It was good, wasn't it?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21That was awesome, Hacker.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Well done.- Badger! A badger.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24Is it a badger?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25It's not what I've got on the card, no.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Card's wrong.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28HONK!
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Mandy?
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Is it an American burger?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33AMERICAN ACCENT: Do you want to get a flapdoodle?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Not the right answer.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Is it where you give the wrong answer out, like a mistake?
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Oh, you just did a flapdoodle.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Do you know what?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I'm going to give you the point for that. I'll give you a gold star.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45Thank you.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48APPLAUSE
0:13:48 > 0:13:50It's an English colloquial word
0:13:50 > 0:13:52meaning "foolish talk or nonsense".
0:13:52 > 0:13:57- Yes.- What's that, Michelle? How do you pronounce it? Thanks for asking.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59It sounds a little something like this...
0:13:59 > 0:14:03DEEP VOICE: Flapdoodle.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Next one is a Scottish word,
0:14:06 > 0:14:08I can tell you. What would it mean?
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- HONK! Mandy?- Wait, no.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Sorry, I thought it was that thing they wear, but that's a kilt.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- Sorry.- Yeah, no, it's not called...
0:14:15 > 0:14:17"What are you wearing to the wedding?"
0:14:17 > 0:14:19"I'm going to wear my ferntickle." Never happens.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21DING! Hacker?
0:14:21 > 0:14:25- Is it that sporran thing? - It's not, but I like how you've...
0:14:25 > 0:14:28That's the first serious answer you've given today.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30But I'm going to give you the answer.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Ferntickle is a Scottish word meaning "freckle".
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- No way!- Really?
0:14:35 > 0:14:36I was never going to get that.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39I'll be honest with you, Iain, I would never have got that.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41I don't mind admitting it, I would never have got that.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- What's that, you want to know how it's pronounced?- Love to.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47I'll tell you right now. It sounds a little something like this...
0:14:47 > 0:14:49DEEP VOICE: Ferntickle.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- Iain, can I have a go? - Yeah, OK, you have a go.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54- DEEP VOICE:- Ferntickle.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Michelle, do you fancy having a go at ferntickle?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- DEEP VOICE:- Ferntickle.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Johnny, on you go. DEEP VOICE:- Ferntickle.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Inel. On you go, Inel.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- DEEP VOICE:- Ferntickle.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12- That was really bad. - It's like those kung fu movies.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Do you know when you're watching it...?
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Do your kung fu movie version of Ferntickle.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18- DEEP VOICE:- Ferntickle.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23I'm going to give you a gold star for that, Inel. Love that.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27BELL RINGS Oh, time's up! Time's up.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33And the winner at the end of that round and getting the gold star is...
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- Elijah's team!- Huzzah!
0:15:35 > 0:15:38APPLAUSE
0:15:41 > 0:15:45Next it is time for everyone
0:15:45 > 0:15:47in the entire world's favourite part of the show.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51It is time for Who Do You Think I Am?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53AUDIENCE GROANS
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Let's do this thing. Come on.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58APPLAUSE
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Elijah...
0:16:01 > 0:16:05you're up first, mate. OK, here we go. First clue.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I am an American woman.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10CHUCKLING
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Why are you laughing at that?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15I am a woman.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17What are you doing?!
0:16:18 > 0:16:21I've got a box.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24# I am a woman who was born in Virginia in America
0:16:26 > 0:16:30# Some time around the 1590s, eh
0:16:30 > 0:16:33# Nobody's really sure which is annoying
0:16:33 > 0:16:37# As it meant I didn't get many birthday presents. #
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Who - yee-ha! -
0:16:39 > 0:16:40am I?
0:16:41 > 0:16:42The birthday boy.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45I said "I'm an American woman"!
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- HACKER:- I know!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- Are you a badger?- NO!
0:16:50 > 0:16:51Next clue.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Get back into character... Hibbidy-hibbidy... OK.
0:16:57 > 0:17:02I managed to keep peace between the village of Native Americans
0:17:02 > 0:17:05and British Colonials.
0:17:06 > 0:17:11The name by which I'm known best means "mischievous one".
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Who am I?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- Hacker the dog.- Dolly Parton.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Dolly Parton.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Born in 1590s?!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25I think it's quite clearly Michelle Obama.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Shut your face, fool!
0:17:29 > 0:17:30Mr T.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37- Mr T.- That was good acting. Yeah, that's Mr T, definitely.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41Mr T, the woman from the 1590s?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Correct answer. Well done, Elijah.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47- Yay!- Is that more acting? - Yeah, I'll bet you.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50What are you playing, stupid dog?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53AUDIENCE: Aww... Don't you dare pick his team.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- Everybody say, "Aww."- Wait a minute, don't you dare pick him over me.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- Not stupid.- Right, clue number three. Here we go.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04CBBC...
0:18:04 > 0:18:07had money spent on these props, so I don't want anyone mocking it.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Get back into character.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13# Boo-boo-doo-boo... #
0:18:13 > 0:18:17I was the daughter of a chief and I had a cartoon made about me
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- in which I sing in my lovely voice. - I've got it.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23# Oh, I can sing that good. #
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- Who am I?- Elijah knows it.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Is it Pocahontas?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I'm Pocahontas!
0:18:30 > 0:18:32APPLAUSE
0:18:32 > 0:18:35I'm the famous Native American Pocahontas,
0:18:35 > 0:18:38daughter of the Chief of the Powhatan Empire.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Mandy's team.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Are you a fan of my acting prowess?
0:18:42 > 0:18:44No.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Tell it like it is, Mandy. - When you're...
0:18:47 > 0:18:51I'm just going to put on my ferntickle, I'll be right back.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52OK.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- Michelle, have you ever seen a kilt? - I have, actually.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Never worn like that before, though.- Watch this, though.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Whoo.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Don't look at me!
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Supergran!
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Is it Supergran?
0:19:07 > 0:19:09LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:09 > 0:19:12OK, Mandy's team, first clue. Here we go.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15I am a Scottish man...
0:19:17 > 0:19:20..who became king in the 11th century,
0:19:20 > 0:19:24so if anyone murdered someone on my watch,
0:19:24 > 0:19:26I'd kill them as well.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28There was loads of murdering back in my day.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32"There's been a murder," that's what I used to say. Who am I?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Is this just your outfit for the end of the show?
0:19:34 > 0:19:38This is the afterparty, oh, ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho!
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Who am I? I'll give you another clue.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42How you never got that is beyond me.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Shakespeare - lovely guy - wrote a play about me
0:19:47 > 0:19:50in which he made me out to be a murderous and terrible person.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53How dare he write that stuff about me?
0:19:53 > 0:19:56If I ever see him, I'll tell you what I'll do to him -
0:19:56 > 0:19:58I'll give him a cuddle, I'm actually a big softie.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Who am I?
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Stop laughing at it!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05LAUGHTER
0:20:05 > 0:20:08- Who am I?- I don't know, you're meant to know.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10LAUGHTER
0:20:13 > 0:20:17It's not a game of I go, "Hi, I'm John Whoever."
0:20:17 > 0:20:18That's not a game!
0:20:18 > 0:20:22Yeah, but you just asked who you are. How are we meant to know...?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25That's the rules! THAT IS THE RULES!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27You broke the book.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Bread, is that...?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Why are you clapping that?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Stop clapping it! APPLAUSE
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Stop it!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Final clue.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Many people believe in theatrical superstition
0:20:50 > 0:20:52and if you say my name in a theatre,
0:20:52 > 0:20:56you have to walk in a circle three times and spit to avoid bad luck.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59- HACKER:- Billy Connolly!
0:21:03 > 0:21:04No, I'm allergic to wheat.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- Stand up.- Not the wheat!
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Doh!
0:21:10 > 0:21:13AUDIENCE: Boo!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Jock-style...
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Grr!
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- I've got it! Braveheart.- Braveheart? No!
0:21:25 > 0:21:28- Mel Gibson?- Mel Gibson?!
0:21:28 > 0:21:32Even Mel Gibson's Scottish accent is worse than mine.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Who am I? Who am I?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Macbeth?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I'm Macbeth!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40APPLAUSE
0:21:40 > 0:21:41Macbeth.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45I was Macbeth, a real King of Scots who came to the throne in 1040 -
0:21:45 > 0:21:49or 20 to 11 - after killing Duncan I in battle.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53So at the end of that, because of my fabulous acting,
0:21:53 > 0:21:55both teams get themselves a gold star.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Huzzah! Well done.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58APPLAUSE
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Well done, Elijah.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- VOICE-OVER MAN:- 'School disco!'
0:22:09 > 0:22:10School disco!
0:22:12 > 0:22:14# No place I'd rather be
0:22:14 > 0:22:16# No no no no no
0:22:16 > 0:22:17# No place I'd rather be
0:22:17 > 0:22:20# No no no no no
0:22:20 > 0:22:22# No place I'd rather be
0:22:22 > 0:22:24# No no no no no
0:22:24 > 0:22:26# No place I'd rather be
0:22:26 > 0:22:27# No no no no... #
0:22:29 > 0:22:31That was interesting, wasn't it?
0:22:31 > 0:22:34It's time to bounce into action with Globe Hoppers.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35So here's how the game works.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38You answer questions by bouncing all round the world
0:22:38 > 0:22:40and snatching the name of the country I'm talking about.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Geography and fun - who thought those two would go together?
0:22:44 > 0:22:47The pair to climb aboard - Johnny and Inel.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51It's going to be another crunch match, so let's bring on the world.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53APPLAUSE
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Rah...rah...
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Ah! Argh!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Bring on the bouncers!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Right, guys, what's going to happen is I'm going to shout out
0:23:07 > 0:23:09some questions. The answers are countries.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11You have to find the country on your globe
0:23:11 > 0:23:13and then bring that country to me.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- Ready to do this?- Let's do it. - Three, two, one... Hop it!
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Go hopping.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Skippy the bush kangaroo is from here.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Australia, correct.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I'm going to make this a bit more interesting.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh, yeah. Oh...
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- Uh-oh.- Double over.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Where in the world can you find giant pandas? Not Scotland.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41China!
0:23:41 > 0:23:42China!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44APPLAUSE
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- Come on!- Three, two, one, hop it.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51- Get hopping! Hop, hop, hop! - Come on, Inel.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Where in Europe you would find Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse,
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Donald the Duck and Goofy?
0:23:55 > 0:23:58In Europe, where in Europe would you find them?
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Paris!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Paris!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Oh...
0:24:04 > 0:24:05France.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07France!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Three, two, one, hop it.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Get in, get in, quickly, run.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21If I was a famous Bollywood actor, I would come from here.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Get it! Get it!
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Tickle him! Tickle him!
0:24:33 > 0:24:36- Oh, you've got it! - He snatched it out my hand.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- India!- Yeah!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40APPLAUSE
0:24:40 > 0:24:44Three, two, one, hop it.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Come on, Inel.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48This is the greatest country in the world, in my opinion,
0:24:48 > 0:24:50and where Shetland ponies come from.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Wigan!
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Wigan.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Is it Wigan?
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Scotland!
0:24:58 > 0:25:00BELL RINGS
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Oh...
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Think there was some cheating going on.
0:25:07 > 0:25:12Guys, that was the most aggressive version of that game I've ever seen.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- Well...- There was snatching...- There was snatching out of hands on that.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Snatching out of hands.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Hey, you've got to play to win.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21You've got to play to win, and you did play to win, Inel.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24You win, so the gold star goes to Mandy's team.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27APPLAUSE
0:25:33 > 0:25:37I hope everyone is super nervous cos we are at the end of the show.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41We sort the conquerors from the conkers.
0:25:41 > 0:25:46Let's see what delights await in Mr Smash's Chamber of Fun.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Rargh!
0:25:47 > 0:25:50APPLAUSE
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- Would you like some Guff?- Rrr...
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Ha-ha.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02So, let's see which team are swotty and which team are...
0:26:02 > 0:26:05ALL: Naughty!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07AUDIENCE: Oooh...
0:26:09 > 0:26:10The winners are...
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Mandy's team!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Yay!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15APPLAUSE
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Elijah, what have we done?
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Well done Mandy's team. And what about the losers, Elijah's team?
0:26:21 > 0:26:24There's no lights where you're going. Mr Smash?
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- Take them on the Walk of Shame. - Rragh!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- # La la la la - Losers!
0:26:29 > 0:26:30- # La la la la - Losers!
0:26:30 > 0:26:32- # La la la la - Losers!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- # La la la la - Losers!
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- # La la la la... - Losers!
0:26:37 > 0:26:38# Losers! #
0:26:38 > 0:26:42So well done to our winners, Mandy, Michelle and Inel!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44APPLAUSE
0:26:44 > 0:26:47You guys get to hand in your homework. Bring it over.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# La la la la la la la
0:26:50 > 0:26:51# You are the winners
0:26:51 > 0:26:53# La la la la la la la
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# You are the winners. #
0:26:56 > 0:26:59OK, let's have Elijah, Johnny
0:26:59 > 0:27:03and Hacker T Dog back from detention with Mr Smash.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- # La la la la - Losers!
0:27:05 > 0:27:07- # La la la la - Losers!
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- # La la la la - Losers!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- # La la la la - Losers!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13# La la la la...
0:27:13 > 0:27:14# Losers. #
0:27:14 > 0:27:18There, you're doing Scottish country dancing. Hacker, please join in.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21BAGPIPE MUSIC
0:27:21 > 0:27:23It's not a great look, guys.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27And now to get your homework, please bring in The Dog Ate My Homework dog.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30APPLAUSE
0:27:36 > 0:27:41Well, we didn't learn much, but it sure was fun trying.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43See you all next time on...
0:27:43 > 0:27:46The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48See ya.