0:00:00 > 0:00:01BELL RINGS
0:00:01 > 0:00:03ANGRY MUMBLING
0:00:45 > 0:00:47ONE DIRECTION PLAY THROUGH HEADPHONES
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Oh! Oh, hello!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56I was listening to Coldplay! That's worse.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Hello!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:06 > 0:01:08I'm Iain Stirling. Welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:01:08 > 0:01:10a panel show all about school.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13I mean, school's all right, but one of the best things about school
0:01:13 > 0:01:15is leaving.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19School's good! I'm not saying school's not good,
0:01:19 > 0:01:21but when you hear that bell at the end of the day
0:01:21 > 0:01:24you're like, "Freedooooom! Yes!"
0:01:24 > 0:01:27The best way to leave school, I think, is on a school trip.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29You go on a school trip, you've got to go on the school bus,
0:01:29 > 0:01:32and a school bus always smells weird to me.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35It smells like there's a wee old man at the back
0:01:35 > 0:01:37with smelly feet, just sitting there.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Like a weird mixture of smelly feet and mouldy cheese.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43It smells like a mouse has trumped. That's what it smells like.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47And also, when you've got a bus, the bus driver is either
0:01:47 > 0:01:49really, really, really happy,
0:01:49 > 0:01:53or he's that miserable man that sits there, not speaking,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55with the same expression on his face all the time.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I couldn't imagine him in real life.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02You wouldn't know how he felt about anything. He'd be like,
0:02:02 > 0:02:06"Yes! Yes, I've just won the lottery, I'm going to buy a new house!"
0:02:10 > 0:02:13"Oh, no, I've lost my passport, I can't go on holiday!"
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Also, with school trips, you get the packed lunches. They are terrible.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I don't know what people's thinking was behind the packed lunches.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23It's like schoolteachers went,
0:02:23 > 0:02:25"Do you know what? What's already terrible? School lunches.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28"So how about for school trips, we'll make them worse
0:02:28 > 0:02:30"and in a brown bag." Always in a brown bag.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33There's nothing more disappointing than opening your brown bag
0:02:33 > 0:02:37just to find a mouldy sandwich and a warm yoghurt with no spoon!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39So you've got to eat the yoghurt with your fingers,
0:02:39 > 0:02:41just shovelling it into your face.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45"I love my school trip, it's the best day ever. Ugh."
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Right, guys, let's get on with the show.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Can I have the school bell, please?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51CRASH
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I'm going to have to get that fixed.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Right, let's meet the teams, come on!
0:02:59 > 0:03:03OK! On my left we've got someone who's an expert in languages...
0:03:03 > 0:03:05He speaks authentic gobbledygook! It's Luke!
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Hello!
0:03:08 > 0:03:11And on Luke's team, his bite is much worse than his bark,
0:03:11 > 0:03:13but he always takes the lead...
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- it's Dodge T Dog!- What? Oh! Hi!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18He's 50% of a double act,
0:03:18 > 0:03:20but is he the front or the back of the horse?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Yes, it's Mark from Sam and Mark. - The back!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Give it up for Luke's team, everybody!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:28 > 0:03:31And on my right we have a girl who's lost her spot
0:03:31 > 0:03:33on the school trampolining team.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36But don't worry, because she's bounced right back. It's Nina!
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Wooo!
0:03:38 > 0:03:39And on Nina's team -
0:03:39 > 0:03:41she's faced deadly spiders and killer sharks,
0:03:41 > 0:03:44but she eventually found her way out of the sports hall.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- It's Naomi Wilkinson!- Hiya!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49And joining them is a chap whose report card reads,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52"Always good at standing on the left."
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Not to be left out, it's Sam from Sam and Mark.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Give it up for Nina's team, everybody!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Think of me as a generous giver of stars.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07I will give you one flashy gold star for every game you win.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09AUDIENCE: Ooooooooh!
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Indeed. And if you really impress me,
0:04:11 > 0:04:14I might even let you have a bonus gold star. But I can also...
0:04:14 > 0:04:16AUDIENCE: Oooooh!
0:04:16 > 0:04:19They do like a gold star in the room. But I might also take them away.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Get away!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22AUDIENCE: Awww.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23I know, it's a shame.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26As far as this thing goes, don't forget, it's Iain's School so it's...
0:04:26 > 0:04:29AUDIENCE: IAIN'S RULES!!!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31The team with the most gold stars at the end of the show
0:04:31 > 0:04:33gets to hand in their homework. And the losers?
0:04:33 > 0:04:36They'll have detention with our frightening PE teacher,
0:04:36 > 0:04:39a man so big he gets fan mail from the Incredible Hulk.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40It's Mr Smash.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41HE GROWLS
0:04:43 > 0:04:44PFFRRT!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55LAUGHTER
0:04:55 > 0:04:57That is proper disgusting.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Right, enough already. Let's get on with this thing!
0:05:07 > 0:05:10OK, this is the round that'll have you thinking on your feet
0:05:10 > 0:05:12whilst you're sitting on your bums.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14It's Stick to the Point!
0:05:14 > 0:05:15VOICEOVER: STICK TO THE POINT!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17He just said it again.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20In this round, I'll throw you some tricky questions
0:05:20 > 0:05:22and when I point to you you need to shout out,
0:05:22 > 0:05:24as quick as you can, the correct answer.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27If you dither or repeat something that's already been said,
0:05:27 > 0:05:28I'm going to knock you out of the round,
0:05:28 > 0:05:32and you have to sit in the Shoosh Position. Shoosh!
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Make it to the end and a glorious gold star awaits your lucky team.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Now, where did my pointy stick go?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- You mean this one?- Yeah. Give it!
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Why have you got that?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46- I'm a retriever, Iain! - LAUGHTER
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Eh?! Dog jokes! He-he-he.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51He's brought his joke with him.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- How long you been practising that one for?- About two days.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Good. You nailed it, mate.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58It went down well, they laughed... Well, he laughed!
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Let's start then, all right? Things associated with Doctor Who.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- Sam? TARDIS! Mark?- Dalek!
0:06:04 > 0:06:08- You've got to sing every answer from now on in. Nina?- Exterminate.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Luke?- A magic pen...thing.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13LAUGHTER
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Get in the Shoosh Position!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- Naomi?- Cybermen!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- Good! Gold star for singing. - Thank you!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Dodge?- Sonic lipstick! - I'll give you that.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- Nina?- Screwdriver!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Sonic screwdriver, that's what I meant!
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Yes, but you didn't say sonic, so get in the Shoosh Position.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30ALL: Oooooh.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- Oh, dear! Mark?- Old people!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Sam?- David Tennant!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Mark?- The other ones!
0:06:40 > 0:06:41- Sam?- The new Doctor!
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Mark?- Who! Who! Who did it?!
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Sam! Mark!- Billie Piper!- Sam! Mark! Sam! Mark!- Billie Piper!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49- Oh, Billie Piper!- Sam! Mark! - Billie Piper!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Hello!- Both get in the Shoosh Positions!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- Naomi?- Erm...- Get in the Shoosh Position!
0:06:55 > 0:06:57The points go to Luke's team in that round.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- OK, bad habits. Mark? - Picking your nose.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- Sam?- Biting your fingernails.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Luke?- Biting the skin on your fingers.
0:07:08 > 0:07:13- Naomi?- Pulling out your eyelashes. I do it, it's a really bad habit.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Naomi?- Another one?! - Yes, that's the way the game works!
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Trumping!- Huh?- Trumping!- Yes. Dodge?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21PFFFRRRT!
0:07:21 > 0:07:22LAUGHTER
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- Shoosh yourself!- Shoosh, Dodge. - The other end!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Sam?- Cracking your fingers! - CRACK
0:07:30 > 0:07:32ALL: Ugh!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Gold star for that, it was loud.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- Mark?- Not flushing the toilet. - AUDIENCE: Ugh!
0:07:38 > 0:07:40I don't do it! I'm just saying that's a terrible habit!
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- What, you don't flush the toilet?! - No, not me, no!
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I mean it's a terrible habit for someone to do.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- Naomi?- Um...
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Get in the Shoosh Position!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- Dodge?- Weeing in the snow.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53LAUGHTER
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- Sam?- Eating with your mouth open. - Right, you both seem disgusting,
0:07:56 > 0:07:58it looks like neither team's going to go out,
0:07:58 > 0:08:01so I'm going to give you both the gold star in that round.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Final one - things that are round.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- Naomi?- A football.- Dodge?- The moon.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- Nina?- A general ball.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14LAUGHTER
0:08:14 > 0:08:16"Hi, hi, guys, are you coming out for a party today?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18"Yeah, we're going to play some sports,
0:08:18 > 0:08:20"could you just bring the general ball?
0:08:20 > 0:08:24"I can't decide if want to play, like, rugby, or basketball,
0:08:24 > 0:08:25"just bring the general ball, man."
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- Luke?- Dodge's dog ball.- Yes!
0:08:30 > 0:08:34- Sam?- A pie chart. - Ooo-oooh! Gold star!
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- Thank you!- Mark?- First time he's ever said pie chart in his life!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- No, wrong, Shoosh Position!- No!
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- Dodge?- My eye!
0:08:44 > 0:08:45LAUGHTER
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Nina?- Nostril.- Yes.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Luke?- My legs...when I do this. - What?!
0:08:55 > 0:08:56LAUGHTER
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Nah, that's more like a diamond. - That's a kite shape.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03- No, that's a gold star!- No, it's a diamond. Get in the Shoosh Position.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- OK. Sam?- Sponge cake.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Sam?- Sponge... A sponge!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10- Sam?- My watch face!
0:09:10 > 0:09:14- Sam?- Erm...this glass!
0:09:14 > 0:09:19- Sam?- Top of my coffee pot that I've got secretly hidden under the table!
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Sam? Get in the Shoosh Position!
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Dodge?- A circle thing.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28No. They're out. Nina's team, you get the gold star in that round!
0:09:28 > 0:09:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:32 > 0:09:35And at the end of that round the winner is...
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Nina's team!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- Nee-naw, nee-naw, nee-naw! - Oh, no, it's the school nurse.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51- Hello, Iain. It's time for your eye test.- OK, let's do this.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Right, now, I've drawn a number on a board. Are you ready?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Now, can you tell me what you can see?
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Nothing.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I'll bring the number a wee bit closer.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03No, no, nothing!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06I'll bring the number a wee bit closer. Can you see the number now?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Nothing is on the card!
0:10:08 > 0:10:11- SHE SIGHS - Well, you've failed your eye test.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Put these on, come on.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16I don't think these are helping.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- Right, now, can you see this one? - Yeah, I can see that one.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22There we go, I'm a miracle worker! Thank you! Nee-naw, nee-naw...
0:10:22 > 0:10:24School nurse, everybody!
0:10:24 > 0:10:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:32 > 0:10:34It's time to dust off your history books
0:10:34 > 0:10:38and learn about people who are now just a distant memory.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Like Queen Victoria, Julius Caesar,
0:10:40 > 0:10:43that bloke on CBBC who used to talk to Hacker T Dog...
0:10:43 > 0:10:44LAUGHTER
0:10:44 > 0:10:46..it's Who Do You Think I Am?!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49GROANS AND SCATTERED APPLAUSE
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Guys? Yeah?
0:10:50 > 0:10:55- It's a very, very good round. - No, it's not.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59No, listen, young Luke. Listen, young Luke, I got a call
0:10:59 > 0:11:02to do King Lear at the National Theatre the other year.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07I mean, it was a wrong number, but their loss is our gain,
0:11:07 > 0:11:09because I am going to do some acting for you all now,
0:11:09 > 0:11:12so let's go over to the prop box. OK, let's do this!
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Nina. You a fan of my acting, Nina?- Um...
0:11:20 > 0:11:21LAUGHTER
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- You've just lost yourself a gold star, young lady!- No!- Yes!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29So, this is the BBC, so I just need to get my prop.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Look like my mum's new shirt. - It looks like your mum's new shirt?
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- Yeah.- What do you mean it looks like your mum's shirt?!
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Well, it's, like, wavy.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39So you're telling me your mum looks like this?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44"Luke! Dinner's ready, Luke!"
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Iain.- What?- I think I'm in love. - LAUGHTER
0:11:51 > 0:11:53What a couple.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55ALL: Awwww.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58And you get a gold star for that, mate.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Right. I'm not Luke's mum. I'm going to act now.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Here we go. I need to get into character.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: I am an Anglo-Saxon woman
0:12:06 > 0:12:09who was born 900 years ago.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11In my day, there was no CBBC,
0:12:11 > 0:12:14no CITV, no PJ and Duncan.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17It was hashtag totes boring.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21- Who am I?- Adele!- What?!
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- Someone who needs a shave! - Someone that was born 900 years ago!
0:12:28 > 0:12:32Naomi, you seem like the voice of reason. Who am I?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Lady Gaga?
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- LAUGHTER - That does look like Lady Gaga!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41P-p-p-p-poker face.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Give us another clue! - Give us another clue, yeah.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- All right, here we go. - Father Christmas!
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Tell you what, you'd be in for a rude awakening
0:12:51 > 0:12:53if this came down your chimney!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55It's time for clue number two.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59My name comes from the Latin "Gift of God".
0:12:59 > 0:13:04My husband and I founded a monastery. That was my gift to God.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- Who am I?- The Easter Bunny? - I'm a lady!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Will you stop laughing?!
0:13:12 > 0:13:13"A-ha-ha-ha-ha."
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Who am I?- Can we have another clue?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20I'll give you one more clue. Here we go.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23This is just getting weird now.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- It wasn't before that. - Yeah, getting weird NOW?!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Right, here we go.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30My husband, the Earl of Mercia,
0:13:30 > 0:13:33agreed that we would lower taxes for the people of Coventry -
0:13:33 > 0:13:35lovely part of the world -
0:13:35 > 0:13:38if I rode naked through the streets on a horse.
0:13:39 > 0:13:45Who says politics is boring? Not me! I'm naked on a horse!
0:13:45 > 0:13:49I'm naked on a horse! I'm naked on a horse...
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Who am I?- Is it Lady Godiva?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55I'm Lady Godiva!
0:13:55 > 0:13:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:58 > 0:14:00That's right, I'm Lady Godiva.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Most famous for being all naked
0:14:02 > 0:14:06riding a horse on the streets of Coventry around 1057.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09There you go. So over to Luke's team.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13- Luke, hi. You all right, mate? - I'm good, thanks.- OK, here we go.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19I am a Dutch man with a colourful personality.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22I took a lot of selfies - only in my day,
0:14:22 > 0:14:25we had to use a paintbrush instead of a camera.
0:14:25 > 0:14:30Who am I? I just drew a beautiful picture of this handsome man.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Why are you American?!
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I'm from the Netherlands! I'm a Dutch guy.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Who am I?
0:14:37 > 0:14:40- Arnold Schwarzenegger. - What are you talking about?!
0:14:42 > 0:14:47Right, it's time for my second clue. OK. Got to get my prop on.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- Oh, no.- Here we goes!
0:14:51 > 0:14:56During my life, my work was not truly appreciated like it is today.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01In fact, I only sold one painting whilst I was alive.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03If only I'd done a buy one get one free,
0:15:03 > 0:15:07then I would have sold twice as many paintings.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Although I had to draw...
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Dr-raw?
0:15:11 > 0:15:12Draaaw.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16- I drawed...- Drawed.- ..900 paintings to sell just the one!
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- Who am I?- Now, I know, look.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22You're that geezer down the market
0:15:22 > 0:15:24who draws them weird pictures of people.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Have you ever seen me down the market?!
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- Yes!- We'd remember you. - Trying to flog your snoods.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34The term is "flog my schnoods".
0:15:35 > 0:15:39- Last one. Last clue.- We can get this, we can get this.- Oh, dear.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43You're not in this sketch!
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- Ah.- Dropped your painting, mate. - Why are you laughing at that?!
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Are you still acting or is this a mistake?
0:15:52 > 0:15:56- No, yeah, this is a mistake. - Your tache has fallen off.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Aw, nyah.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Along with your ear? Yesh!
0:16:01 > 0:16:04One of my most famous paintings was of a vase...
0:16:04 > 0:16:09- A what?- A vase?- A vaaase. - A vase...- A vaa-aase.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13..full of sunflowers. Strangely enough, I'd initially painted
0:16:13 > 0:16:18a vase full of sunflower seeds... Sunflower seeds.
0:16:18 > 0:16:23Sunflower seeds! And I left it to grow. Classic banter.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- Who am I?- Shall we? Shall we?- Yeah. - Who am I?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Are you Vincent van Gogh?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I'm Vincent van Gogh!
0:16:31 > 0:16:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Come on, bring it in!
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Yes, I was Vincent van Gogh, a Dutch painter whose striking use
0:16:41 > 0:16:45of colour and brushwork still influences modern art today.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48OK, well done. Because of my fantastic acting,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52both teams got the correct answer, so both teams get a gold star!
0:16:52 > 0:16:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Time to whip out your verruca socks and show us your athlete's feet.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06It's Sprint Finish.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09MATCH OF THE DAY THEME PLAYS
0:17:09 > 0:17:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Oi! OI!
0:17:20 > 0:17:22It's not about you!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24I'm the talented one on this show.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- Erm, I think I can do some stuff too.- What can you do?
0:17:28 > 0:17:31I can solve the Rubik's Cube while tap-dancing
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- and saying the alphabet backwards! - Can you actually?
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- Want to see?- Yeah! Naomi Wilkinson, everybody.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Here, Naomi. Naomi, just as well
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- you had your tap shoes on, isn't it?- Isn't it?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- Isn't that a stroke of luck? You ready?- Yeah, go for it.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T-S
0:17:50 > 0:17:53R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H
0:17:53 > 0:17:55G-F-E-D-C-B-A.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh, wow!
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Shoosh! I'm talented too.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06BELL TOLLS
0:18:06 > 0:18:09I can, em... I do comedy.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11BELL CONTINUES TO TOLL
0:18:11 > 0:18:15I came second in a comedy competition this one time.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Eh, just get back to your desk, please.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Naomi Wilkinson, everybody.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:25 > 0:18:28OK, so, what's going to happen here is
0:18:28 > 0:18:30one of you guys will act out sporty things
0:18:30 > 0:18:33for the others on your team to guess. You'll get a red card for speaking.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35But sound effects are OK. Nina.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39- Who you picking to take part in sprint finish?- Naomi.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41- She's more athletic. - Yes, because she can tap-dance.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Naomi, please make your way to The Sport Spot.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47VOICEOVER: THE SPORT SPOT!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Three, two, one, GO!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- Keepy-uppy.- Yes! Go.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Bubbles. No.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- Hockey?- Yeah...- Curling.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- What's coming out of her face? - Ice hockey?- Ice?!
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- It's cold, it's the... - Sheer embarrassment!
0:19:08 > 0:19:10- Air hockey!- Yeah!
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Cooking.- What's she cooking, though?
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- Boiled egg.- Oh, yeah.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17- Oh, egg and spoon race!- Yes!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I don't even know what that is!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21SHE BURPS
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Ugh!- Being sick? Being sick!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- What is one of those?- Pass! Move on! It's burpee, burpee.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- What's a burpee?- What is a burpee? - I don't know.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Scuba diving!- Yeah, scuba diving.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36- Fencing!- Yes.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38BELL RINGS Oh, time's up!
0:19:38 > 0:19:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Very well done, Naomi.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- What's a burpee? - I'll show you a burpee.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51Yeah, do a burpee. Should we have a burpee-off? Me and you burpee-ing.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- Ready?- Ready.- So you go...
0:19:55 > 0:19:57- That's a burpee. - Right, let's see if I can do it.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- First to five.- First to five?!- Yeah.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Hold on, let me tuck my shirt in.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- Come on, Sam!- Go Sam! - Three, two, one, go.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04One.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Two.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Three.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Four.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Five. I win!
0:20:11 > 0:20:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- MARK:- Iain, Iain. Iain, it's not if you win or lose,
0:20:17 > 0:20:21it's how you play the game. And you played it marvellously.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Well done, guys, well done.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26Now, Luke, who out of your team do you think is the best?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Mark is the more capable.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32- Are you sure?!- All right, Mark, head on down to The Sports Spot.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34VOICEOVER: THE SPORTS SPOT!
0:20:37 > 0:20:41All right, Mark, you have got until the bell rings. Three, two, one, GO!
0:20:42 > 0:20:44- Butterfly!- Yes.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Argh!
0:20:46 > 0:20:49- Scared?- ARRGH!
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Fighting off zombies!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53- What is it?- Golf?- What type of golf?
0:20:53 > 0:20:55- Brain golf!- What?!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58- No. Brain golf?!- Crazy golf!- Yes.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- What is he doing?- Ballroom dancing.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- No.- Erm...- Weird dancing?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- What is it?- Rhythmic dancing.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12- Rhythmic! Not dancing, not dancing.- Rhythmic dance?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14- No, not dancing! - Rhythmic movement?- No.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- Rhythmic gymnastics!- Yes, rhythmic gymnastics! Next one!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Woooaaah!
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- Falling over!- No, it's kind of like falling over...
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Walrus!- Walrus?!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28That's not even a sport!
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Taking a bow.- Not bowing!
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- What is it?- Bungee jumping! - Bungee jumping!
0:21:35 > 0:21:36- Bungee jump!- Yes!
0:21:37 > 0:21:39- Javelin!- Yes.- Yes!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Skateboarding. Skiing?
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- Snowboarding!- Yes, snowboarding!
0:21:45 > 0:21:47BELL RINGS Times up!
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Take a seat, Mark.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Right, well, I can tell you that at the end of that round
0:21:54 > 0:21:56our winners were...Luke's team!
0:21:56 > 0:21:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:04 > 0:22:06We love recycling things on this show,
0:22:06 > 0:22:11especially the jokes. It's time for Bin Busters!
0:22:11 > 0:22:12VOICEOVER: BIN BUSTERS!
0:22:12 > 0:22:14One panellist from each team
0:22:14 > 0:22:17will race to put as much rubbish as they can into the recycling bins.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20And to help you out we've got a special
0:22:20 > 0:22:23vacuum cleaner backpack with amazing suction.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25It's a backuum cleaner, if you will.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29So, Luke, who from your team do you want to take on the challenge?
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Bearing in mind that one of your team-mates
0:22:31 > 0:22:34is smaller than the backuum cleaner.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36- Are you referring to Mark?- Yes.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40I think Dodge has had a lot of bins in his lifetime, so...
0:22:40 > 0:22:45- Hey, you know me! Ha-ha-ha. - I think it's time to give Mark a go.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46- Yeah, fair play.- All right.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50And, Nina, who from your team do you want to take on the challenge?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Errrm...Sam.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Oh, so it's a Sam versus Mark situation.
0:22:56 > 0:22:57- ALL: Ooooh. - Clash of the titans!
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Oh, that is it. I'm coming for you.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01I'm coming for you. Faster.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Just getting hydrated.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07- Yeah, me too. - Hey, guys, can I join in?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- Iain, no.- No.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12All right, well come up here and collect your backuum cleaners.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Give them a round of applause!
0:23:14 > 0:23:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Sam, I don't know if you know this,
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- but you'll be collecting plastic bottles...- Excellent.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- ..and putting them in that recycling bin over there.- My favourite.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27- Marcus.- All right, mate?- You all right, buddy?- I am, I'm excited.
0:23:27 > 0:23:28You'll be collecting cans and putting them
0:23:28 > 0:23:30in that recycling bin over there.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33You've got until the bell goes. The most things recycled wins.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Three, two, one, GO!
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Go, go, go!
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Sam's off to an early lead!
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Mark, use your power of distraction, distract him!
0:23:53 > 0:23:58Quickly, go quicker! Sam is absolutely smashing it. Come on!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Come on.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Come on, Mark!
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Come on!
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Sam's off to a flyer!
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- NAOMI:- Oi, cheat! Get off!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Mark's using dirty tactics.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Come on, Mark.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Come on! Mark, you're going to have to up the pace.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26You're going to have to up the pace. Not long left.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29- DODGE:- Let's do this! Let's get this show on the road.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Mark, catch him! Mark...
0:24:30 > 0:24:34BELL RINGS Oh, time's up! Stop! Stop!
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- Mark, how did you find it went? - Not well.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I think we can all agree with that.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47You got one, two, three, four,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49five, six, seven...
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Don't try and make it up now! Eight, nine, ten.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- You got ten.- 11.- Ten. - Nice round number.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01- Don't you patronise me, Sam Nixon! - How are you doing?- Really tired.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- You look like a very tired ghostbuster.- Yeah, I am.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06OK, let's see how many you got.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10One, two, three, four, five, six,
0:25:10 > 0:25:13seven, eight, nine, ten,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15eleven... fourteen!
0:25:22 > 0:25:25You obviously did the best there, so the gold star goes to Nina's team!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Yeah!
0:25:27 > 0:25:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:34 > 0:25:37It's pretty tense, because it's time now for the final scores.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Time to find out who climbed to the top of the tree
0:25:39 > 0:25:41like an ambitious monkey,
0:25:41 > 0:25:43and who's lying at the bottom like a lazy snake.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45The losers will go straight to detention
0:25:45 > 0:25:48with our most laid-back member of staff - Mr Smash!
0:25:51 > 0:25:52He's maybe not that laid-back.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56OK, it's time to find out which team are swotty, and which team are...
0:25:56 > 0:25:58AUDIENCE: NAUGHTY!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00AUDIENCE: Ooooh...
0:26:00 > 0:26:04..ooooh....
0:26:04 > 0:26:06The winners are...
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Nina's team!
0:26:08 > 0:26:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:13 > 0:26:18Well done, Nina, Sam and Naomi. Commiserations to Luke's team.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21That means you guys have got to go to detention with good old Smashy.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Away and take the walk of shame!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29THEY CHANT: Losers! Losers! Losers!
0:26:38 > 0:26:42Well done to the winners, Nina, Sam and Naomi!
0:26:44 > 0:26:47You guys get to hand in your homework and get it marked by me.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49So, Nina, hand in your homework!
0:26:51 > 0:26:55# La-la-la-la-la You are the winners
0:26:55 > 0:26:59# La-la-la-la-la You are the winners. #
0:26:59 > 0:27:00OK, well done, guys.
0:27:00 > 0:27:06Let's have Luke, Mark and Dodge T Dog back for detention with Mr Smash!
0:27:06 > 0:27:08HE GROWLS
0:27:08 > 0:27:11THEY CHANT: Losers! Losers! Losers!
0:27:18 > 0:27:22Not a good look at all in those Smashy robot outfits.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Anyway, it's time now for the dog to come and eat your homework!
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Well, we didn't learn much, but it sure was fun trying.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37We'll see you all next time on...
0:27:37 > 0:27:40AUDIENCE: The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Sees ya!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44DOG BURPS