Episode 5

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0:00:32 > 0:00:33APPLAUSE

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Hello?

0:00:42 > 0:00:43Yeah, yeah.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45No, it's not started yet.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49I don't know if I'm going to bother, actually.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Oh!

0:00:51 > 0:00:52Hello!

0:00:52 > 0:00:54CHEERING

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Hello, everyone. Hello, thank you for coming.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59My name's Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,

0:00:59 > 0:01:01a panel show all about school.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04My favourite thing about school was school holidays.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Most kids came back from school after holidays with a tan.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09I came back pruney, you know what I mean?

0:01:09 > 0:01:11"How was your holiday, Iain?"

0:01:11 > 0:01:13"Moist." Not ideal.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16The holidays were always a bit rubbish for me because my

0:01:16 > 0:01:19parents decided it would be a good idea to go caravanning.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Worst holidays ever.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24My mum used to always say to me, "Oh, you'll love the caravan, Iain.

0:01:24 > 0:01:25"It's just like a house."

0:01:25 > 0:01:27And I guess she's right, it is like a house...

0:01:27 > 0:01:31A small, rubbish, plastic house.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33The problem is you have to drag your caravan on the back

0:01:33 > 0:01:36of your car, so it takes ages to get anywhere.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38We'd be in the car for hours. I'm getting dead excited.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41"Are we going to Narnia? To Hogwarts? Where are we going?

0:01:41 > 0:01:43"It's going to be absolutely amazing!"

0:01:43 > 0:01:46My dad then gets out of the car, walks up a hill and goes,

0:01:46 > 0:01:50"Welcome to Motherwell!" Noooo!

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Right, let's meet the teams, come on!

0:01:53 > 0:01:55CHEERING

0:01:58 > 0:02:01Over here is a boy so clever he marks his maths teacher's work.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03It's Pavan, everybody!

0:02:03 > 0:02:06CHEERING

0:02:06 > 0:02:09And on Pavan's team is someone who got the best grades at the school

0:02:09 > 0:02:13disco, so he's either a great dancer or rubbish at maths,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16or maybe it's both. It's dance sensation and Friday Downloader,

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Aidan Davis!

0:02:17 > 0:02:20- CHEERING - Here...I suppose.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23And as a pupil, she was told to take life more seriously,

0:02:23 > 0:02:26so what else could she do than become a comedian?

0:02:26 > 0:02:29- It's Susan Calman.- Here.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Give it up for Pavan's team, everybody!

0:02:34 > 0:02:36And over here, we've got

0:02:36 > 0:02:38a girl who once took the school pet home in a cage.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Unfortunately, it was a goldfish.

0:02:40 > 0:02:41- Give it up for Evie!- Hey, Miss.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43CHEERING

0:02:43 > 0:02:46And on Evie's team, a woman who acts,

0:02:46 > 0:02:49sings and designs fashion, but can she do this?

0:02:50 > 0:02:54- I don't think so. It's Dominique Moore.- Here!

0:02:54 > 0:02:58And with them, he's a comedian who's always got a laugh at school,

0:02:58 > 0:03:00especially when he'd done PE in his pants.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02Give it up for Alex Riley!

0:03:02 > 0:03:03CHEERING

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Give it up for both of today's teams!

0:03:06 > 0:03:08CHEERING CONTINUES

0:03:10 > 0:03:14OK, we're getting all starry-eyed around here and no wonder.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18Look what you get when you win a game or make me laugh.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20AUDIENCE: Oooh!

0:03:20 > 0:03:22A gold star. "Ooh" indeed, audience.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25A sparkling bit of gold that you can show off to all your pals,

0:03:25 > 0:03:30but don't get too big-headed cos I can also take them away.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32It's Iain's school, so it's...

0:03:32 > 0:03:34ALL: Iain's rules!

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Yeah, you heard that. They're my rules.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38At the end of the show, the team with the biggest

0:03:38 > 0:03:41stash of stars gets to hand in their homework but what about the losers?

0:03:41 > 0:03:45Well, their homework goes to my canine pal over there.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Hey, Buddy. Hey, fetch!

0:03:54 > 0:03:55Fine then, be like that.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57And those losers will also end up in detention

0:03:57 > 0:04:01with our ferocious PE teacher Mr Smash.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03CHEERING

0:04:08 > 0:04:11HE PANTS AND BARKS

0:04:14 > 0:04:15GLASS SMASHES

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Well, that was weird.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20OK, strap yourself in, it's time to begin.

0:04:20 > 0:04:21Let's get the show on the road!

0:04:28 > 0:04:31OK, let's see who's got the brains as well as the bendy bits.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33It's time for Body Language.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37I'm going to ask you guys questions that all have three-letter answers.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Easy, but - and it's a pretty big but -

0:04:40 > 0:04:43you have to spell those answers using your bodies.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Now, I think it's best we have a little stretch before this round.

0:04:48 > 0:04:49You've just got to stretch...

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Make sure you've...

0:04:51 > 0:04:53You don't want to do yourself an injury.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55CREAKING SOUNDS

0:04:55 > 0:04:56Oh, yeah, that's good.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00That's lovely.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Yep, and then...

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Oh, the Bikram's paid off.

0:05:07 > 0:05:08APPLAUSE

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Right, I think that's got it.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Pavan's team, it's time to see if you're going to bend or break,

0:05:13 > 0:05:15so let's bring on the letterbox.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Make your way down.

0:05:34 > 0:05:35How old are you, Pavan?

0:05:35 > 0:05:3711.

0:05:37 > 0:05:4011?! You're the size of my dad!

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Right, you've got until the bell rings to get as many correct

0:05:43 > 0:05:46answers as possible, and your first question starts

0:05:46 > 0:05:49when I say it out loud and I'm going to say it...now.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51- An upside-down nine.- (Six.)

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Nine upside-down.

0:05:53 > 0:05:57Do an S, mate. You're a professional dancer, Aidan!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Look at this! - Right, I'll give you that one.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01You have wellies on when this is around.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03You put wellies on when this is around.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Mud?- Yes.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08Well, Pavan's passed out, so that's good.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10Oh, it's a good U!

0:06:11 > 0:06:14LAUGHTER

0:06:23 > 0:06:25I'll give you that one and a gold star for having a lie down as well.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27OK.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29A more polite way to tell someone to shut up.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Oh...shh.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Don't be rude, they're trying to help you out.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Let's see Pavan and Susan's H.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42Susan, I said H, not your best Michael Jackson impression!

0:06:42 > 0:06:43Do an H!

0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Bend that, bend that! - Straighten that one.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48- There you go.- Bend! Straight!

0:06:48 > 0:06:50What are you doing?!

0:06:50 > 0:06:51I'll give you that one.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55A type of fish found swimming around in the Atlantic, the Pacific

0:06:55 > 0:06:56and the deep fat fryer.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58- Cod.- Yes!

0:07:00 > 0:07:02A D, Susan!

0:07:02 > 0:07:05What are you doing?! We've not got all day!

0:07:05 > 0:07:06LAUGHTER

0:07:09 > 0:07:11It looks like someone's turned Susan off.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15I can't give you that, sorry. I can't give you that one.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18- SCHOOL BELL RINGS - Oh, time's up! Time's up!

0:07:18 > 0:07:19CHEERING

0:07:19 > 0:07:23Evie's team, please make your way down to the letterbox.

0:07:25 > 0:07:29Evie, are you feeling confident after the last team's performance?

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Yes. Come on!

0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Bring it on!- Yes!

0:07:33 > 0:07:35- We've got team wristbands?- Oh, yeah.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37And we've got a team motto, is that true?

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Of course we have.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42EVIE AND DOMINIQUE: "If you believe it, you can achieve it."

0:07:42 > 0:07:43..you can achieve it.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45So enthusiastic! LAUGHTER

0:07:45 > 0:07:47All right, your time starts now.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Something that peeks out

0:07:49 > 0:07:51when there's a hole at the end of your sock.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53- Toe!- Yes.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Alex has used the whole board.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59- You need another arm, you need another arm!- Well, I've only got two!

0:07:59 > 0:08:01When am I going to get another one from?!

0:08:01 > 0:08:03What's that you've done?

0:08:03 > 0:08:07Well, she said and she's my team captain. I'm trying to...

0:08:07 > 0:08:08You need three bits!

0:08:08 > 0:08:11- DOMINIQUE WHIMPERS - She's so scary!

0:08:11 > 0:08:12Do an E!

0:08:12 > 0:08:13Do an E!

0:08:13 > 0:08:14- Yes!- Nice!

0:08:16 > 0:08:20Dominique, a little bonus gold star for that one.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23A way of picking up apples out of water during Halloween.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Bob.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28Can you spell Bob, Dominique?

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Do a lower case one!

0:08:30 > 0:08:31No, a capital, capital!

0:08:31 > 0:08:34I like the difference in grace between Dominique's B and Alex's B.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37- Do a leg like that. - It's a capital, initial, cap.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39You're doing a P!

0:08:39 > 0:08:41It looks like you're holding a massive baby!

0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Look at my leg! - They've got to be the same size!

0:08:44 > 0:08:47I tell you what, that team motto's out the window, isn't it?

0:08:47 > 0:08:49We're different sizes! We can't all be the same size.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Sort it out.- Stop arguing and start doing letters!

0:08:52 > 0:08:53That's the best B you'll see all day!

0:08:53 > 0:08:55I'll give you that one.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58An old woman or witch who is considered ugly or frightful.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Hag!- Yes, hag.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Guh...

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Haaa-guh.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08- Well done!- Dominique.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13- It took that long to work out how you spell it.- I'll give you that one.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17# Yae cannae shove yer granny off this type of moving vehicle. #

0:09:17 > 0:09:18- Van?- Bus.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20Van, ha-ha-ha!

0:09:20 > 0:09:21LAUGHTER

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Bus! Bus!

0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Oh, no, am I an S?- Yes.

0:09:25 > 0:09:26LAUGHTER

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh!

0:09:28 > 0:09:32- APPLAUSE - I will give you that.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34- SCHOOL BELL RINGS - Time's up!

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Let's make our way back to the desks.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Give it up for Evie's team, everybody!

0:09:41 > 0:09:42CHEERING

0:09:49 > 0:09:52And at the end of that round, the gold star goes to...

0:09:52 > 0:09:53Evie's team!

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Whoo!

0:10:01 > 0:10:03It's time now for Stick To The Point.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Stick to the point.

0:10:06 > 0:10:07We get the idea.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09This is my favourite bit of the show cos

0:10:09 > 0:10:11I get to go all pointy with a stick.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'm going to ask you some quickfire questions

0:10:13 > 0:10:15and you need to answer them as fast as you can.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18If you're not speedy or repeat someone else's answer,

0:10:18 > 0:10:22you're out of the game and you have to adopt the shush position.

0:10:22 > 0:10:23Shush.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27Well done, everyone. A shiny gold star to the last team standing.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30For this, I need my stick of pointiness.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32And look, they're multiplying.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34I've only gone and got myself two!

0:10:34 > 0:10:36It's going to be a pretty quick round.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39OK, our first question is types of pets.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Pavan!

0:10:41 > 0:10:42- Dog.- Yes. Evie.

0:10:42 > 0:10:43- Cat.- Aidan.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Horse.- Heh, OK. Dominique.

0:10:46 > 0:10:47Cows!

0:10:47 > 0:10:49LAUGHTER

0:10:49 > 0:10:51If you had a farm, you would keep cows as pets.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54You have to sound less nervous next time your answer. Susan.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56- Gerbil.- Yes. Dominique?

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Erm...H-h-hens.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59LAUGHTER

0:10:59 > 0:11:03- All right, Old MacDonald. - Adopt the shush position.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04Pavan.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05- Lizard.- Evie.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07- Hamster.- Susan.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09- Russian dwarf hamster, different breed.- Alex.

0:11:09 > 0:11:10Fancy rat.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12LAUGHTER

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Better than a normal rat! Aidan.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16- Mouse.- Evie.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17Hobbit.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19LAUGHTER

0:11:19 > 0:11:22- You keep hobbits as pets? - Yeah!- Pavan.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Gecko.- Evie.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Goldfish.- Pavan.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Dog.- We've already had dog. Adopt the shush position. Alex.

0:11:29 > 0:11:30Billy goat.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32- LAUGHTER - Susan.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Spider.- Evie.

0:11:35 > 0:11:36Tarantula, different breed.

0:11:36 > 0:11:42Oh! A gold star, Evie. Well done.

0:11:44 > 0:11:45Aidan.

0:11:45 > 0:11:46Shark.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48LAUGHTER

0:11:48 > 0:11:53You can! Say you have a cow if you own a farm. If you own...

0:11:53 > 0:11:54SeaWorld.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58- Shark.- That's not a farm.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00Swings and roundabouts.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02No, no, no, aquarium. Evie.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05If he can have a shark, can I have a seahorse?

0:12:05 > 0:12:08You can have whatever you like, love. You've got hobbits.

0:12:08 > 0:12:09Susan.

0:12:09 > 0:12:13- If she can have a seahorse, can I have a whelk?- Yes. Alex.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Starfish.- Yes. Aidan.

0:12:15 > 0:12:16Erm...

0:12:16 > 0:12:19Adopt the shush position! Evie.

0:12:19 > 0:12:20Brother.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22LAUGHTER

0:12:22 > 0:12:24They're filthier than rats, I'll give you that. Susan.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28- A crab in a top hat cos it's a fancy crab.- Alex.

0:12:28 > 0:12:29A gerbil. We've had that.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32We've had that. Adopt the shush position.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34It is Evie versus Susan. Susan.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Cabbage on a string - it happened in Japan. It's real.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Look it up on the internet.- Evie!

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Cucumber on a string!

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Ha-ha! That didn't happen! It's not on the internet!

0:12:43 > 0:12:46- Susan!- Pot-bellied pig! - Pot-bellied pig! Evie!

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Ca...erm...

0:12:48 > 0:12:52Oh! Points go to Pavan's team in that round.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54CHEERING

0:12:54 > 0:12:57She's a fine player at this game, is young Evie,

0:12:57 > 0:13:00- I'll give her that.- I'm really not happy about this at all.

0:13:00 > 0:13:05Words to describe Iain. Open brackets, be nice, close brackets.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Dominique.- Smelly! - LAUGHTER

0:13:08 > 0:13:14- Be nice!- Yeah, but he can smell nice, obvs!- Susan!

0:13:14 > 0:13:15Handsome.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17- Gold star to Susan!- Oooh!

0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Evie.- Awesome.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Aidan.- Got hair.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Alex.- Willowy.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25LAUGHTER

0:13:25 > 0:13:27It's been said of me in the past. Pavan.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Popular.

0:13:29 > 0:13:33Look at that! Not only "popular" but the victory sip.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34"Popular."

0:13:35 > 0:13:37- Dominique!- Flexible!

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Flexible?!

0:13:39 > 0:13:42- What you did with your legs and... - Just stop talking. OK. Susan.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Erudite.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46I don't know what that means

0:13:46 > 0:13:48but for editing purposes...

0:13:48 > 0:13:50yes, I am!

0:13:50 > 0:13:51Alex.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Bespectacled.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Thank you! Pavan.- Beautiful.

0:13:56 > 0:13:57LAUGHTER

0:13:58 > 0:13:59That wasn't a victory sip,

0:13:59 > 0:14:01that was a "I can't believe I just said that."

0:14:01 > 0:14:04- He went, "Beautiful... Oh." - LAUGHTER

0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Dominique!- Hairy!

0:14:06 > 0:14:08- Aidan?- Loud.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10- Dominique.- Fashion-y.

0:14:10 > 0:14:11- Aidan.- FashionABLE.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Oh!

0:14:13 > 0:14:16I'm going to put you in the shush position - it's too similar.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Evie.- Superhuman.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22- Susan.- Muscular, in a wiry, greyhound style.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26Get yourself in the shush position.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28- Alex.- Wise.

0:14:28 > 0:14:29Yes, I am.

0:14:31 > 0:14:32- Pavan.- Great.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Alex. - The beard of a 16-year-old boy.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Get shushed, young man. Get shushed.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41- Pavan.- Special.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Get in the shush position. - Oh!

0:14:45 > 0:14:48- The points go to Evie's team in that round.- Yeah!

0:14:51 > 0:14:54- OK... - School Disco!

0:14:54 > 0:14:56School Disco!

0:14:56 > 0:14:59# I live for the applause Applause, applause

0:14:59 > 0:15:03# I live for the applause-plause Live for the applause-plause

0:15:03 > 0:15:07# Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me

0:15:07 > 0:15:10# The applause Applause, applause... #

0:15:10 > 0:15:12RECORD SCRATCHES

0:15:12 > 0:15:16School Disco Solo!

0:15:16 > 0:15:19Aidan, school disco!

0:15:19 > 0:15:22# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out

0:15:22 > 0:15:25# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch

0:15:25 > 0:15:28# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out

0:15:28 > 0:15:32# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch

0:15:32 > 0:15:35# A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E Make it real loud

0:15:35 > 0:15:38# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch

0:15:38 > 0:15:42# Make it real loud

0:15:42 > 0:15:47# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch. #

0:15:47 > 0:15:48Yes!

0:15:52 > 0:15:55I'm going to give Pavan's team a little gold star - well done.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Wait, wait! We didn't have the opportunity

0:15:58 > 0:16:00to do an extra dance, that's not fair.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01We should do one now.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04- Let's do a Dominique school disco. - No, not just me!

0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Yes!- Oh, what?!

0:16:06 > 0:16:08You should learn to shut your face.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out

0:16:15 > 0:16:19# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch

0:16:19 > 0:16:22# Give me that thing that I love I'll turn the lights out

0:16:22 > 0:16:25# Put your hand up Make 'em touch, touch

0:16:25 > 0:16:29# Make it real loud

0:16:29 > 0:16:32# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch

0:16:32 > 0:16:35# Make it real loud

0:16:35 > 0:16:41# Put your hands up Make 'em touch, touch. #

0:16:41 > 0:16:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:16:46 > 0:16:48And after that amazing performance, a gold star...

0:16:48 > 0:16:49to me. OK.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53At the end of that round, I can tell you the winners -

0:16:53 > 0:16:55and getting the gold star -

0:16:55 > 0:16:56are Pavan's team!

0:17:03 > 0:17:07- Nee-naw! Nee-naw! Nee-naw! - Oh, no, it's the school nurse.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Hello, Iain. You're looking a wee bit on the peaky side.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Time for your annual health check.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15- What sort of health check is this? - It's...

0:17:15 > 0:17:18- A CAT scan! - Oh...!

0:17:18 > 0:17:20Meeoow!

0:17:20 > 0:17:22Meow! Meow!

0:17:22 > 0:17:26Meeee-ow!

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Meow?

0:17:28 > 0:17:29Am I OK?

0:17:29 > 0:17:32CAT MEOWS Yes, you're purr-fectly healthy.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34School nurse, everybody.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36APPLAUSE

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Time now for a little history.

0:17:38 > 0:17:42Pavan, your team is up first, so make your way to the Memo-Ray.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44The Memo-Ray.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48You are not answering the question I'm asking you.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51You're answering the question I asked the person before you.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55So you don't answer the first question, OK, guys?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Your time starts...now.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00Smashy, levers, please.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Is a female grandparent called a grandma or a panda?

0:18:05 > 0:18:07- Correct, Aidan. - TING!

0:18:07 > 0:18:11Complete the phrase - Teenage Mutant Ninja...?

0:18:11 > 0:18:12Grandma.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14- Correct. - TING!

0:18:14 > 0:18:19In the Wild West, people rode to work on what?

0:18:19 > 0:18:20Turtles.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Correct. - TING!

0:18:22 > 0:18:25What does WWW stand for?

0:18:26 > 0:18:27Horses.

0:18:27 > 0:18:28- Correct. - TING!

0:18:28 > 0:18:33What do you find with a leprechaun at the end of the rainbow?

0:18:33 > 0:18:35World wide web.

0:18:35 > 0:18:36- Correct. - TING!

0:18:36 > 0:18:40What do milkmen deliver?

0:18:40 > 0:18:41Pot of gold.

0:18:41 > 0:18:42- Correct. - TING!

0:18:42 > 0:18:47Name a 34-letter word sung by Mary Poppins.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Apparently, milk.

0:18:49 > 0:18:50- Correct. - TING!

0:18:50 > 0:18:53What did pirates say instead of the word "yes"?

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59- Correct. - TING!

0:19:00 > 0:19:03What letter comes after S in the alphabet?

0:19:05 > 0:19:06Arrr!

0:19:06 > 0:19:07- Correct. - TING!

0:19:07 > 0:19:11What are cats, dogs and rabbits all type of?

0:19:11 > 0:19:12T.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14- Yes, correct. - TING!

0:19:14 > 0:19:19Name a book about a talking toad and his friends.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Animal.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22- Correct. - TING!

0:19:22 > 0:19:25What is it called when you trump in a forest?

0:19:27 > 0:19:28Wind In The Willows.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30- Correct! - TING!

0:19:30 > 0:19:32BELL RINGS

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Time's up, guys. Please make your way back to your desk.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39And Evie's team, make your way over to the Memo-Ray.

0:19:39 > 0:19:40The Memo-Ray.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47OK, guys, time to test your memory skills.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Smashy, lights, please.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54What are the bangers in bangers and mash?

0:19:57 > 0:19:58- Correct. - TING!

0:19:58 > 0:20:03Complete the title of the song - Head, Shoulders, Knees and...?

0:20:03 > 0:20:04Sausages.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06- Correct. - TING!

0:20:06 > 0:20:10What food is made out of fish and shaped like fingers?

0:20:10 > 0:20:11Toes.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13- Correct. - TING!

0:20:13 > 0:20:16What is the name of a mythical creature

0:20:16 > 0:20:17that is half-fish, half-person?

0:20:19 > 0:20:20Fish fingers?

0:20:20 > 0:20:21- Yes, correct. - TING!

0:20:21 > 0:20:25Who teaches you football, netball and athletics at school?

0:20:27 > 0:20:28Mermaids.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Correct. - TING!

0:20:30 > 0:20:32What do you use to chew your food?

0:20:33 > 0:20:34PE teacher.

0:20:34 > 0:20:36- Correct. - TING!

0:20:36 > 0:20:39Complete the name of this famous lovable bear - Winnie the...?

0:20:40 > 0:20:41Teeth.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43- Correct. - TING!

0:20:43 > 0:20:46What ingredient is used to sweeten tea and cakes?

0:20:49 > 0:20:52What was the question again, the one before...?

0:20:52 > 0:20:53Unfortunately, it's Pooh.

0:20:53 > 0:20:54- WRONG ANSWER BUZZER - Pooh.

0:20:54 > 0:20:59What types of animal are Tyrannosaurus Rex?

0:20:59 > 0:21:00Sugar.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02- Correct. - TING!

0:21:02 > 0:21:06What pet animals do you take for a walk on a lead?

0:21:06 > 0:21:07Dinosaurs.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08- Correct. - TING!

0:21:08 > 0:21:12What is the sun of - solid, liquid or gas?

0:21:14 > 0:21:15Dogs.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16- Correct. - TING!

0:21:16 > 0:21:19When someone asks you for salt at the dinner table,

0:21:19 > 0:21:20what do you pass?

0:21:21 > 0:21:22Gas?

0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Correct. - TING!

0:21:24 > 0:21:26- BELL RINGS - Time's up.

0:21:28 > 0:21:33Take a seat, guys, take a seat. Well done, well done.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35End of that round, the winners are...

0:21:36 > 0:21:38..Pavan's team!

0:21:38 > 0:21:39You get a gold star, well done!

0:21:45 > 0:21:50Welcome to the Frocky Horror Show. Yes, it's time for Lost Property.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53Lost Property!

0:21:53 > 0:21:55OK, Pavan and Evie,

0:21:55 > 0:21:58you'll choose one of your team to be a clothes horse.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00The rest of the team will pile on as much stuff

0:22:00 > 0:22:02on that donkey's back as you can.

0:22:02 > 0:22:06The person carrying the most clothes at the end wins the gold star.

0:22:06 > 0:22:10So, Evie, which of your fashion victims deserve a makeover?

0:22:10 > 0:22:13I'm going to choose...Alex.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14And Pavan?

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Who would look the funniest...

0:22:18 > 0:22:20..with all clothes all over them?

0:22:20 > 0:22:22It's probably going to be...Susan.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24No! Really(?)

0:22:24 > 0:22:29OK, teams, please head down to the front, let's go.

0:22:31 > 0:22:32Go, go, go!

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Before we start, Alex and Susan, can you just come down

0:22:37 > 0:22:40in front of the property box and stand next to one another?

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Just want to show - right beside one another...

0:22:44 > 0:22:45Susan?

0:22:45 > 0:22:48- Whoa!- Dominique and Evie, you've got a lot more to work with.

0:22:48 > 0:22:51That's all I'm saying. Right, guys, you know the drill -

0:22:51 > 0:22:53you need to get as many clothes on your clothes horses

0:22:53 > 0:22:54as humanly possible.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56Three, two one...

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Get dressed, go!

0:22:59 > 0:23:03Come on, get your clothes, get it on the person.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Get them right on. - Come on, come on!

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Get back, Aidan, get back!

0:23:07 > 0:23:11The clothes need to be on the person properly.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Right on. Same goes to you, Dominique.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15I want them properly on.

0:23:17 > 0:23:23Properly on, not just draped. I want them on the person.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26Move! Quickly!

0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Aidan, get back!- Quick, quick!

0:23:28 > 0:23:30I want it round an arm, minimum!

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Come on! Quicker!

0:23:38 > 0:23:40It has to be on the person or it doesn't count.

0:23:40 > 0:23:43It has to be on them or it doesn't count.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Scarf, scarf, scarf!

0:23:46 > 0:23:50Get them on. I want that person dressed.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55Careful, it has to be on the person.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58- BELL RINGS - Time's up! Stop, stop, stop, stop!

0:24:02 > 0:24:06Evie, your clothes horse must be stood up.

0:24:06 > 0:24:07- MUFFLED:- Iain!

0:24:07 > 0:24:10Fashion assistants, please head back to the desks.

0:24:10 > 0:24:11OK, now...

0:24:11 > 0:24:13HE LAUGHS

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Susan, can you hear me?

0:24:16 > 0:24:19LAUGHTER

0:24:19 > 0:24:22Alex, are you OK?

0:24:22 > 0:24:24I can't breathe! I can't breathe!

0:24:24 > 0:24:27LAUGHTER

0:24:27 > 0:24:30Susan, are you OK? Susan!

0:24:30 > 0:24:32Are you OK?

0:24:32 > 0:24:33You're not...

0:24:35 > 0:24:38- It's fine! - Right, right, right, right.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41What's going to happen is you're going to take off

0:24:41 > 0:24:43an item of clothing, one count at a time.

0:24:43 > 0:24:47The last person with items of clothing still on their bodies

0:24:47 > 0:24:49wins the gold star. OK?

0:24:49 > 0:24:50One!

0:24:52 > 0:24:53LAUGHTER

0:24:54 > 0:24:55Two!

0:24:57 > 0:25:01- Three! - AUDIENCE COUNTS WITH HIM: Three!

0:25:01 > 0:25:02- Four!- Four!

0:25:03 > 0:25:05It's Susan Calman, everybody!

0:25:05 > 0:25:07APPLAUSE

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Five!

0:25:11 > 0:25:13- Six!- Six!

0:25:13 > 0:25:16- Seven!- Seven!

0:25:16 > 0:25:17- Eight!- Eight!

0:25:19 > 0:25:20- Nine!- Nine!

0:25:22 > 0:25:23- Ten!- Ten!

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Oh!

0:25:24 > 0:25:26- 11!- 11!

0:25:26 > 0:25:31That's it, we're done. We're done. The points go to Evie's team!

0:25:31 > 0:25:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Come back. Come back.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43OK, it's time to find out who's the bee's knees

0:25:43 > 0:25:44and who's the ant's armpits.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48The losers get to spend detention in Mr Smash's Happy Campers Club.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:51 > 0:25:55OK, let's find out which team is swotty and which team is...

0:25:55 > 0:25:58AUDIENCE: Naughty!

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Ooh!

0:26:00 > 0:26:03TINKLING

0:26:03 > 0:26:05The winners are...

0:26:05 > 0:26:06Evie's team!

0:26:06 > 0:26:09CHEERING

0:26:11 > 0:26:13High-five! High-five!

0:26:13 > 0:26:18That leave's Pavan's team doing detention with no exemption.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22Now, you lot have to take the walk of shame.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24- # La-la-la-la-la-la - AUDIENCE: Losers!

0:26:24 > 0:26:26- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:26 > 0:26:28- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:28 > 0:26:30- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:30 > 0:26:32- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers. #

0:26:32 > 0:26:34ALL: Losers!

0:26:34 > 0:26:35Well done, everyone.

0:26:35 > 0:26:40And well done to the winners - Evie, Alex and Dominique!

0:26:40 > 0:26:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:42 > 0:26:46You are triumphant and, Evie, that means you can hand in your homework.

0:26:46 > 0:26:47Let's do it.

0:26:48 > 0:26:52# La-la-la-la-la-la-la You are the winners

0:26:52 > 0:26:57# La-la-la-la-la-la-la You are the winners. #

0:26:57 > 0:26:59OK, let's have Pavan, Aidan and Susan back

0:26:59 > 0:27:01for detention with Mr Smash.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03- # La-la-la-la-la-la - AUDIENCE:- Losers!

0:27:03 > 0:27:05- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!

0:27:05 > 0:27:07- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!

0:27:07 > 0:27:09- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!

0:27:09 > 0:27:11- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers! #

0:27:11 > 0:27:12ALL: Losers!

0:27:12 > 0:27:15MUSIC: The Birdie Song

0:27:15 > 0:27:18You're doing the funky chicken.

0:27:18 > 0:27:22OK, it's time to hand your homework over to the dog!

0:27:22 > 0:27:25CHEERING

0:27:34 > 0:27:38Well, we didn't learn much but it sure was fun trying.

0:27:38 > 0:27:43- See you all next time on... - Audience: The Dog Ate My Homework!

0:27:43 > 0:27:46See ya!