0:00:01 > 0:00:04THEY SPEAK GOBBLEDYGOOK
0:00:06 > 0:00:08PTERODACTYL CRAWS
0:00:11 > 0:00:14WHISTLING
0:00:20 > 0:00:22MONSTERS GROAN
0:00:42 > 0:00:45LAUGHTER
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Oh! I'm not ready! I'm not ready! Oh!
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Hello!
0:00:55 > 0:00:58APPLAUSE
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Hello, I'm Iain Stirling. Welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:01:01 > 0:01:03a panel show all about school.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Now, you can't have school without school uniform
0:01:06 > 0:01:08and there's one rule when it comes to school uniform,
0:01:08 > 0:01:09and that is this -
0:01:09 > 0:01:13anything that looks remotely cool is illegal, right?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16You can't have... I mean, school uniform is the worst-looking thing
0:01:16 > 0:01:18in the entire world, and it's so expensive.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21A blazer, a school blazer is the most expensive thing
0:01:21 > 0:01:22I think I've ever seen,
0:01:22 > 0:01:26so your mum always has to buy it for you five sizes too big.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29I'm just standing there going, "Mum, are you sure this is right?
0:01:29 > 0:01:32She's like, "Yeah, you need to grow into it. It needs to last."
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Last till when?! Till I'm 54? The thing's massive!
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Then you get those big, leather, black, clumpy school shoes.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41How uncomfortable are they? You can't walk properly in them.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44So, you've got your big jacket on and your clumpy shoes
0:01:44 > 0:01:46walking to school like you're carrying a bag of sand.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Hello!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Now, sometimes at school when you go to big school, maybe,
0:01:50 > 0:01:52you've got to wear a school tie.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I can't tie a tie, which is fine, but it means my dad has to tie it,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59and my dad always ties my tie far too tight.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01He'll do it up and be like, "You all right, son?"
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- I'm like... - CROAKING:- "Yeah, I'm fine."
0:02:04 > 0:02:05So, my first day back at school,
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I'm wearing a blazer that's too big for me,
0:02:07 > 0:02:09shoes that are too uncomfortable, my tie's too tight,
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I'm walking to school going...
0:02:11 > 0:02:13HE CROAKS
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Right, let's start the show, let's kick things off.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18Can I hear the school bell?
0:02:18 > 0:02:22BELL RINGS Oo-oo-ah-ah! Oo-ah-ah!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32I said ding-dong, not King Kong.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Right, I do need to get that fixed.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Right, guys. Let's meet the teams. Come on!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49On my left is a girl who is best friends with the school hamster.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52They got together on a school trip to Hamsterdam.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54It's Leah, everyone.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56APPLAUSE I do love hamsters.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57And on Leah's team,
0:02:57 > 0:03:00we have someone who was her school's hide-and-seek champion.
0:03:00 > 0:03:0218 years later, they're still looking for her.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03It is Dominique Moore.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- Here. - APPLAUSE
0:03:05 > 0:03:08And if you're trying to remember where you saw the last guy from,
0:03:08 > 0:03:11think of the handsome one from The Big Friday Wind Up.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14He stood next to him. It's Mark from Sam And Mark!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- Here.- Give it up for Leah's team, everybody!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19APPLAUSE
0:03:19 > 0:03:22And on my right-hand side, a boy who just loves homework,
0:03:22 > 0:03:26so if any teachers are watching, please give him lots more work.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27It's Eddie!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Here. APPLAUSE
0:03:29 > 0:03:32And on Eddie's team is someone who was top dog at training school,
0:03:32 > 0:03:34and he spends a lot of time chasing his tail.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Give it up for Dodge T Dog!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39HE LAUGHS, APPLAUSE
0:03:39 > 0:03:42And over there, he was an exchange student in France.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44They got Sam, we got this lump of cheese,
0:03:44 > 0:03:46and I think we've done pretty well out of it.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49It's Sam from Sam And Mark, everybody!
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- Here. - Please give it up for Eddie's team!
0:03:52 > 0:03:54APPLAUSE
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Right, teams, we need to talk about stars. Gold stars.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00It is my job to throw them around, except at losers.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04I don't give gold stars to any Tom, Dick, Harry, Sam or Mark.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08You get the bonus star if I like what you're doing.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10And if I don't, I'm going to take them away.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11Get away.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14So, remember - it's Iain's school, so it's...
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Iain's rules!
0:04:16 > 0:04:17At the end of the show,
0:04:17 > 0:04:19the team with the biggest stash of starry bling
0:04:19 > 0:04:21gets to hand in their homework.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24But losers beware - your homework will be eaten
0:04:24 > 0:04:26by The Dog Ate My Homework Dog while you get detention
0:04:26 > 0:04:30with a man so big we use him as a bouncy castle.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33It is our PE teacher, Mr Smash and The Dog.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!
0:04:41 > 0:04:42Awhoo!
0:04:42 > 0:04:45That's amazing. I didn't even see his lips move once.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Let's rock up for an epic show, everyone! Come on!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51CHEERING
0:04:53 > 0:04:55It's time for Shed Loads,
0:04:55 > 0:04:58the round with more answers than the school canteen has sick bags.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01I'll ask you guys a question that has a shed load of answers.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04You keep the answers coming till I get bored. I'll just move on.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06We're going to start with you guys.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08So, Shed Loads, back and forth, correct answers.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Your first topic is about PE.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Name things you have to wear if you forget your PE kit.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Eddie's team.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Really short shorts.- Why?
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Because the teachers always say we have this spare PE kit kit
0:05:20 > 0:05:22so if we forget our PE kit, as punishment
0:05:22 > 0:05:25we have to wear shorts that are, like, that long or something.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- You have to share shorts with other people?- Yeah.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Like, three people in one pair of shorts?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- IMITATES THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY NI: - 'We are the people that have
0:05:31 > 0:05:32'forgotten our shorts.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35'Me and Timothy, there's not much room for both of us.'
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Right, things you have to...if you forget your PE kit.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Oh, Y-fronts.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40- Y-fronts?!- Yeah.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43You know them baggy Y-fronts that you find in lost property
0:05:43 > 0:05:46and you go, "Yeah, they're the least awful.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49OK. Things you'd wear if you forget your PE kit. Dodge?
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Naked!
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- You could wear naked, correct. - I am naked!
0:05:55 > 0:05:57You are... Oh, you are naked.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Cover yourself up.- Sorry.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- Anything else?- A sleeveless shirt.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Which I know that Sam owns.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- No way!- Sam owns a sleeveless shirt.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10When I'm working out, yeah.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11I get the guns out.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Next topic is history.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Eddie's team, we've William the Conqueror,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Ethelred the Unready and Iain the Intolerable.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21What would your royal title be and why?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Dodge the Dog Poo.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25LAUGHTER
0:06:25 > 0:06:27It's more of a warning.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30Dodge the Dog Poo.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33You can come into my castle, but watch your feet.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Any more? Dominique?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- What would your royal title be? - I've got one for Leah.- Oh, yeah?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Lady Leah.
0:06:41 > 0:06:47But, like, spelt differently. So, L-A-D-E-E-E.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49There isn't a spelling round, is there?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- So, it would be Ladeee Leah. - Ladeee Leah, yeah.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- Yep.- You've done that a load. What is that?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- It's the click.- What does it mean?
0:06:57 > 0:06:58That's the way I do it.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01That's the way she does it!
0:07:01 > 0:07:02That's the way I do it!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04- Does that get us a bonus star? - I think so.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I think...go on, then.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Only if the three of you can do it as one.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11That's the way I do it!
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Gold star, well done. - CHEERING
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Right, guys. We're going to move on now.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16It is Talent Time.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19It's time to find it of any of our panellists can do anything
0:07:19 > 0:07:21other than sit behind a desk and natter.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Oh, Iain, Iain! Eddie is a very talented singer.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25- Are you?- Yes.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Right, let's have a little listen. Let's have Eddie, everybody!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Yay! - APPLAUSE
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Go on, Eddie.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35# It might seem crazy what I'm about to say
0:07:37 > 0:07:40# Sunshine she's here You can take a break
0:07:43 > 0:07:46# Hot-air balloon That could go to space
0:07:46 > 0:07:49# Doo doodle-oo doo doo doo doo-doo
0:07:49 > 0:07:52# With the air, like I don't care Baby, by the way
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- # Doo doo doo. # - Everybody now!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- OTHERS:- # Because I'm happy
0:07:56 > 0:08:01# Clap along if you feel Like a room without a roof
0:08:01 > 0:08:02# Because I'm happy
0:08:02 > 0:08:07# Clap along if you feel Like happiness is the truth
0:08:07 > 0:08:08# Because I'm happy
0:08:08 > 0:08:14# Clap along if you know What happiness is to you, uh
0:08:14 > 0:08:15# Because I'm happy
0:08:15 > 0:08:20# Clap along if you know that That's what you wanna do. #
0:08:20 > 0:08:24- CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - Come on, Eddie, yeah!
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Nice singing.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- DOMINIQUE:- I've got something to say!
0:08:27 > 0:08:28He's actually very good.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33He was, but our team leader is an actual rapper.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35- You are? - She writes all her own lyrics.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- Do you want to do a rap? - Yeah.- Written by her.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Oh, look, you've got some sleeveless shirt on.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42LAUGHTER
0:08:42 > 0:08:43Take it away, Leah.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47SHE BEATBOXES
0:08:48 > 0:08:50# Yeah, I'm in the BBC Got all my friends with me
0:08:50 > 0:08:53# There's Iain Stirling, Big Dog Some celebrities
0:08:55 > 0:08:58# There's a dinner lady And her food's disgusting
0:08:58 > 0:09:00# So when she's not looking I throw it in the dustbin
0:09:02 > 0:09:05# Mr Smash is scary And I have to mention
0:09:05 > 0:09:07# If I don't behave I'll be with him in detention
0:09:10 > 0:09:12# Playing silly games And we're crazy but we're cool
0:09:12 > 0:09:14# But just remember, mm-hmm
0:09:14 > 0:09:18# This is Iain's school So its Iain's rules, oh, yeah. #
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- APPLAUSE - That was amazing.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28The phrase dustbin does not get used enough in raps.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- LAUGHTER - Right, we'll move on, it's fine.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Next up, name ingredients for the world's worst cake.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34I've got one! Fingernails.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Fingernails, bad. Any more?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- Dodge.- Oi, you! - LAUGHTER
0:09:39 > 0:09:44- I'm free-range.- All the hair, mate. All the hair, isn't it?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Any more?- A certain kind of egg.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- A dog egg?- Yeah.- Aw!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Yeah, is this the dog, the poo thing?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Yeah, it is.- Dodge it.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- Hmmm!- Aw...
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- DODGE BREAKS WIND - That's disgusting.- Right, any more?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- Bandage.- Yeah, like if you cut your finger and...
0:10:00 > 0:10:03I once found of those blue plasters.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07It makes you think, "Oh, I wonder what was underneath the plaster
0:10:07 > 0:10:08"and what had actually happened."
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Had they put their finger off, was it just a graze, was it a scab?"
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Have you cut your finger off?
0:10:13 > 0:10:14I don't think you just pop a plaster on it.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- BELL RINGS - Oh!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Time is up, and at the end of this round,
0:10:22 > 0:10:24the gold star goes to Eddie's team!
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - Good work, team, good work.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Guys!
0:10:34 > 0:10:35You're all in for a treat
0:10:35 > 0:10:38because the next round is the round you've all been waiting for.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40It's time for everyone's favourite part of the show.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- Who Do You Think I Am? - TEAMS GROAN
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Oh, feel the excitement in the room.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Yes, prepare to go back in time and meet characters from history.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Like Albert Einstein or his brother, Frank.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Frank Einstein.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Franken...stein.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Right, anyway. Enough of this.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Let's get on with this game, come on!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05APPLAUSE
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Right, Leah's team, you're up first.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Clue number one. Here we go.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Are you ready?
0:11:11 > 0:11:16I am an Englishman from York!
0:11:16 > 0:11:18I became friends of some ducks
0:11:18 > 0:11:22and plotted to get rid of the King Ja...
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Hm...- Are you...?- Wait.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26All right, yeah, no, no.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I'm an Englishman that became friends with some people
0:11:28 > 0:11:30and plotted to get rid of King James
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- in The Duck and Drake pub.- Right...
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I heard it wrong.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Who am I?!
0:11:36 > 0:11:37I'm from York.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40You look like you're doing the animal Olympics relay.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43LAUGHTER
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- Not the duck, n-o-o!- No-o-o!
0:11:48 > 0:11:49I know who it is.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Are the old lady who lived in the shoe?
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- LAUGHTER - The old lady in the shoe?!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- I've got a duck on a stick! - Yeah, but I didn't know if they...
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Where do they go, "There once was lady who lived in a shoe.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02"She had a duck on a stick!"
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- I'm going to give you a second clue. - OK.- So...
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I'm going to get my second prop on.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- Are you Edward Scissorhands? - That's what I was going to say.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- I'm Frankie Forkfinger! - LAUGHTER
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Oo, mama. OK.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- HE LAUGHS - What was that?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22LAUGHTER
0:12:22 > 0:12:27If Wolverine had plastic forks instead of metal spikes,
0:12:27 > 0:12:30his superhero name would be the same as mine.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Mr Forks.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35I think it's something to do with a restaurant, working in a restaurant.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Working in a restaurant?!- A famous person who works in a restaurant.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Otherwise, why would you have all the forks?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Why have I got forks on my fingers?
0:12:42 > 0:12:46- You never know when you're going to need ten forks on your hand.- Yeah.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48What's that, you're in desperate need of ten forks?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- Hiya! - LAUGHTER
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Leah, who do you think I am?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- Gordon Ramsay.- No!- Yeah!
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Let me give you the third clue.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00I am most famous for, oh, hang on.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I think there is a rhyme for it.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Oh, yes, remember, remember...
0:13:06 > 0:13:09LAUGHTER
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- It's a good tash.- ..Movember!
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Do have any idea how hard it is to put on a moustache
0:13:14 > 0:13:16when you've got forks for fingers?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19- LAUGHTER - You be careful.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21It's my birthday or something, the fifth.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22The fifth of Movember.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Who am I?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Are you Guy Fawkes?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- I'm Guy Fawkes! - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- If it wasn't for Leah... - Have a marshmallow.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Good catch!
0:13:36 > 0:13:37I'm not sure you should have done that.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- Is that a prop?- Yeah.- Oh, no!
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Tastes so good(!)
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- I'm just going to pop these over here.- Oh...
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Right, I was Guy Fawkes.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48A British soldier who's best-known
0:13:48 > 0:13:51for taking part in the Gunpowder Plot in 1605.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55There you go. So, Eddie's team, you're up next.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- OK, here we go.- No ducks.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59No ducks, no.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04I-I-I-I-I am an English woman.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08I liked to write from a very young age.
0:14:08 > 0:14:13I kept pets such as rabbits and mice and hedgehogs.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Though I couldn't stroke my hedgehog,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18but it did come in handy as a back scratcher.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- LAUGHTER - Mm, oh!
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I wish I had a friend who had forks for fingers.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24- Guy Fawkes.- No!- Right.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Goldilocks.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- Goldilocks?- Oo, interesting.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32She lived in the woods with a lot of animals, didn't she?
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Three bears, there was no hedgehogs.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36"Oh, this bed's too hot.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38"Oh, this bed's too prickly.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- "Oh, wait, it's a hedgehog." - LAUGHTER
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Next clue, next clue.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45As well as being an illustrator,
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I was a conservationist,
0:14:47 > 0:14:51which means I protected wildlife and the environment.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53So, if anyone ever tries to kick my flowers,
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I'll put them in a headlock.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Who am I?
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Holly Willoughby.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Is she a conservationist?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02She once got me in a headlock after I kicked her flowers.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04- Show off!- Right.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Next clue, here we go.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10My most famous book was called The Tales of Peter Rabbit.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15I read it to my rabbit and he said he thought it was too unbelievable.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17When I asked, "Why do you think it's unbelievable?",
0:15:17 > 0:15:20he said, "Because there's a talking rabbit!"
0:15:20 > 0:15:21I know! I know it, I know it!
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Who am I?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- Harry Potter.- Yes.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29- Expelliarmus! - HE SHOOTS SPELL
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Right, who am I?
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- Beatrix Potter.- Yes! - I'm Beatrix Potter.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Oh, mama.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39I was Beatrix Potter,
0:15:39 > 0:15:41the English author and illustrator of children's books
0:15:41 > 0:15:43and famously the creator of Peter Rabbit,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Jemima Puddle-Duck and Mrs Tiggy-Winkle.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47OK, well done.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49In that round, you both got a gold star.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- Well done! - APPLAUSE
0:15:58 > 0:16:00# La la la la la... #
0:16:00 > 0:16:03VOICEOVER: It's time for Smashy-oke!
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Ladies and gentlemen,
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- it's Mr Smash, everybody. - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- Hello, Smash. You all right, mate? - I'm good.- Yeah, good.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13So, after my amazing acting, it's over to Smash's strange singing,
0:16:13 > 0:16:15which can be so high pitched at times
0:16:15 > 0:16:17only dogs can hear it.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- DODGE BARKS IN SURPRISE - That's a good song, isn't it?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Right, guys, there you have it. So, what is going to happen is this.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Smash is going to sing you a classic pop tune.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Sam and Mark, you've had a few classic pop tunes, haven't you?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- We've had the one. - LAUGHTER
0:16:34 > 0:16:36OK, Smash is going to sing the song.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37You guys guess what it is at the end,
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I will go to each of you individually.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Smashy, take it away...
0:16:41 > 0:16:44SINGS INDISTINCT LYRICS
0:16:52 > 0:16:57HOLDS NOTE
0:16:59 > 0:17:01APPLAUSE
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Ho, ho, ho...!
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Er, so, any ideas, Eddie?
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Let It Go.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- You're going to go to Let It Go? - Yeah.- Right, OK.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13Leah's team, what're you thinking?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Can I just say, do you want one of my cough sweets?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Oh!
0:17:18 > 0:17:19- All right!- Ha, he does.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Here you go.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23Never promise that man cough sweets
0:17:23 > 0:17:25cos he will take you up on the offer.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26That's a well-known fact.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28- Mark?- Katy Perry, Firework.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Katy Perry, Firework. You're going to go with that?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Leah, you're the captain, what are you going to go for?- Er...
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- Leah!- Katy Perry, Firework!
0:17:35 > 0:17:36OK.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39We've got Frozen - Let It Go, Katy Perry - Firework.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Let's find out what it was.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Smashy, off you go.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45# Let it go
0:17:45 > 0:17:46# Let it go
0:17:46 > 0:17:50# When I'll rise Like the break of dawn
0:17:50 > 0:17:51# Let it go
0:17:51 > 0:17:53# Let it go
0:17:53 > 0:17:57# That perfect girl is gone... #
0:17:57 > 0:18:00CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:18:03 > 0:18:05There you go, it was Let It Go.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Give it up for Mr Smash, everybody.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- APPLAUSE - Well done.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12At the end of the round, Eddie got it right,
0:18:12 > 0:18:14so, Eddie's team, you get a gold star!
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Yes! APPLAUSE
0:18:22 > 0:18:24It's time to get sporty with Sprint Finish,
0:18:24 > 0:18:26so I hope you've brought your PE kit
0:18:26 > 0:18:28cos I don't want to see you do it in your pants.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32This is a round that'll get you sweatier than a PE teacher's vest.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35One member of each team acts out a sporty thing
0:18:35 > 0:18:38and their team-mates have to guess what they're miming.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Keep your eyes on the action though,
0:18:39 > 0:18:41because you're not allowed to speak.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Do you understand?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Very well done. Gold star.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Now, very clever, very clever.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51VOICEOVER: School disco!
0:18:51 > 0:18:52School disco!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54# Ladies all across the world
0:18:54 > 0:18:55# Listen up, we're looking for recruits
0:18:55 > 0:18:57# If you're with me Let me see your hands
0:18:57 > 0:18:59# Stand up and salute
0:18:59 > 0:19:02# Get your killer heels, sneakers, pumps or lace up your boots
0:19:02 > 0:19:05# Representing all the women Salute, salute!
0:19:05 > 0:19:07# Attention
0:19:07 > 0:19:08# Salute
0:19:08 > 0:19:11# Atten... # TRACK SKIPS
0:19:13 > 0:19:15OK, so, Eddie's team, you're up first,
0:19:15 > 0:19:18and I think, Sam, you're doing the acting out.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Oh, well, doesn't matter, mate.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21On you go, give it up to Sam, everybody.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24APPLAUSE
0:19:24 > 0:19:27VOICEOVER: The sports spot!
0:19:27 > 0:19:28Get on your sport spot.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Your time starts when Eddie flips over the first card.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Three, two, one, go!
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Oh!
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Erm...
0:19:38 > 0:19:40- Hurdles.- Yes, first one. - Good one. OK.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44- I'll help you.- Come on.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- Erm, three-legged race.- Yes!
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Next!
0:19:53 > 0:19:54Go!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Right.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Rugby, rugby.- Yes!- Next one.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01Well done, Eddie.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- Going to the toilet. - Skiing, skiing, skiing.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- Going to the toilet?- Yeah.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Really badly needing to go to the toilet.- Erm, ski run, ski run.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Skiing what?
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- Ski jumping! - Yes! Next one.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Cheerleading!
0:20:21 > 0:20:23No, what's he holding?
0:20:23 > 0:20:24- Pom-poms.- Yes!- Wow.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Rock, paper, scissors.- Yes! - BELL RINGS
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- Oh, it's over. - APPLAUSE
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Well done, Sam and Eddie's team.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Leah, you're up next.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Dominique's going for your team.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Are you a sporty person?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Absolutely not.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Good, this is going to work well.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Dominique, please go down to the sport spot.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50CHEERS AND APPLAUSE VOICEOVER: The sport spot!
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Right, Leah, three, two, one, go!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- Archery.- Yes!
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Oh...
0:21:00 > 0:21:02- Sumo!- No!
0:21:02 > 0:21:03Weightlifting.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05- What's she doing though...- Wrestler - ..with those weights?
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Oh, she's looking awful buff.- Erm...
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Oh, she's drinking her protein shakes. Oh, she's in shape.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- Oh, you're a body-builder.- Yes!
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Well done.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Dominique!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18LAUGHTER
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- Kiss chase!- Yes!
0:21:21 > 0:21:22I'm going to give you a star for that.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Oh....!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- Standing long jump. - Standing long jump?
0:21:28 > 0:21:29Long jump.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Ah, but what does that make her?
0:21:31 > 0:21:32An athlete.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Yeah, what type of athlete? - Skier.- A good one.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36No!
0:21:36 > 0:21:39An athlete who does long jumping is a...
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Olympian.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42No!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- What's wrong with you?- Triple jump!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- No, what is she?- Is she a...
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- A...a...a jumper.- A jumper.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Oh, it's a distance she's done, that makes her a...
0:21:53 > 0:21:55- Long jumper.- Yes!
0:21:55 > 0:21:57AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Frisbee!- Yes!- Oh, nice.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Leah has got it right every single time.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05- BELL RINGS - Oh, time's up.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Have a sit down, Dominique.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- Dominique, everyone. - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Well done to Eddie's team and well done to Dominique and Leah.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18It is no surprise that the winners of that round,
0:22:18 > 0:22:20and getting the gold star, is Eddie's team.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Time now for a bit of history.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Let me take you to the time when medieval knights
0:22:35 > 0:22:37used to go into battle covered in armour.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39If I went up against them nowadays,
0:22:39 > 0:22:41I wouldn't use a sword, I'd use a tin opener.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- It's time for Pop-A-Lot. - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:22:43 > 0:22:46HORN PLAYS
0:22:49 > 0:22:50Who will be knighted as Sir Pop-A-Lot
0:22:50 > 0:22:54and win these lovely T-shirts.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56AUDIENCE: Oh!
0:22:56 > 0:22:58One grown-up from each team will take part in
0:22:58 > 0:23:00our historical games day
0:23:00 > 0:23:03using our balloon jousting helmets that I have here.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06They must compete to see who can pop the most balloons
0:23:06 > 0:23:08before the school bell rings.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Eddie, who are you going to pick from your team,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13bearing in mind that only one of your team members is human.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Don't let me down, Eddie.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17So, you can either have a human man
0:23:17 > 0:23:19or a little tiny dog.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21I'm going to have to go with Sam.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24I love how you said you're "going to have to go with Sam".
0:23:24 > 0:23:25- Leah...?- EDDIE: Next time, Dodge.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Well, I think I'm going to go for...
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- ..Mark.- Oh, dear.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34That means we've got a Sam and Mark head-to-head.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36- TEAMS:- Ooh.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41They pretend they're friends so they can get on telly, yeah?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44But are they friends in real life
0:23:44 > 0:23:47and can they put their friendship aside and battle.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Why are you all drinking water funny?- Don't know.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51- DODGE:- This is weird.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54- We're psyching each other out. - Right, guys.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56So, please, Sam and Mark.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58The duo, now sworn enemies.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Make your way to the jousting area!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Make you way down to the areas.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09HORN PLAYS
0:24:13 > 0:24:16HORSES NEIGH
0:24:16 > 0:24:18PLAYS JAZZ TUNE ON HORN
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Oh, it's like history coming to life.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26Two brave knights and two unrealistic steeds.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28A gold star to the victor.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31I now declare that Iain Stirling celebrity jousting games...
0:24:31 > 0:24:32beguneth!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Go!
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - Pop those balloons!
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Pop as many as you can!
0:24:39 > 0:24:44Mark's in the lead! Sam, you can't let him win!
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Go on, Mark. Mark is absolutely smashing it.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49Go on, Sam.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Go on, Mark.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Go on, Sam.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- DOMINIQUE:- Higher, higher, higher, higher...
0:24:55 > 0:24:58These guys are stalwarts of CBBC.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Oh, oh!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Mark's nearly done! Mark's nearly done!
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Sam, Mark is nearly done!
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Quick!
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Quick!
0:25:09 > 0:25:10One more, Mark!
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Yay!
0:25:14 > 0:25:18- BELL RINGS - Time's up.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Time's up.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Lads!
0:25:20 > 0:25:24- SAM:- I was at a disadvantage, my horse only has only got two legs.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25You look absolutely wonderful,
0:25:25 > 0:25:29but the obvious winner is the man that got rid of all of them.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32So, the gold star goes to Leah's team. Well done, Mark.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I'm feeling pretty tense, cos it's now time to sort
0:25:44 > 0:25:46the superstars from the pooper-stars.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Mr Smash is standing with some thoughtful educational approaches.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55OK, so it's time to find out which team are swotty
0:25:55 > 0:25:57and which team are...
0:25:57 > 0:25:59AUDIENCE: Naughty!
0:25:59 > 0:26:03Oooh...
0:26:03 > 0:26:05I can reveal that it's a draw,
0:26:05 > 0:26:08but, cos it's Eddie's birthday, I'm giving him a bonus gold star,
0:26:08 > 0:26:10so the winner is Eddie's team.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Happy birthday, Eddie.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Commiserations, Leah's team.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20You are off to detention with Mr Smash.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23It's time to take the walk of shame. Buy.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25- # La la la la-la la AUDIENCE:- # Losers
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:26:29 > 0:26:30- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:26:30 > 0:26:33- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:26:33 > 0:26:35# Losers! #
0:26:35 > 0:26:37So, there you go. See you later, you guys.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39And well done to Eddie's team.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Give it up for Eddie, Sam and Dodge.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44- CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - Happy birthday, Eddie,
0:26:44 > 0:26:48- and you get a hand in your homework! - Yay!- Nice one, Eddie.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52# La la la la la-la la You are the winners
0:26:52 > 0:26:56# La la la la la-la la We are the winners. #
0:26:56 > 0:26:58CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:26:58 > 0:27:02OK, let's have the losers back from their detention with Mr Smash.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:27:04 > 0:27:06- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:27:10 > 0:27:12- # La la la la-la la - # Losers
0:27:12 > 0:27:14# Losers. #
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYS - Oh, it's hula dancing.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20- DODGE LAUGHS - Well, there you go.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24And now it's time for the dog to come eat the homework. Dog!
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Well, we didn't learn much, but it was fun trying.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34See you all next time on...
0:27:34 > 0:27:37AUDIENCE: The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40See ya!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42DOG EATS HOMEWORK, BURPS