Episode 7

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:05BELL RINGS THEY MUMBLE

0:00:34 > 0:00:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Yeah!

0:00:56 > 0:00:58Thank you. Thank you for coming.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework, a panel show all about school.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04I'm Iain Stirling and I want to know who here has been in a school play?

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Cheer if you've been in a school play.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08AUDIENCE: Whoo!

0:01:08 > 0:01:09I've been in a school play.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11I know what you're thinking, "Iain, with your good looks

0:01:11 > 0:01:14"and amazing acting ability, I bet you were in every school play!"

0:01:14 > 0:01:17And you wouldn't be wrong because in every school play

0:01:17 > 0:01:20I've ever been in I've played my regular role of...

0:01:20 > 0:01:21Background Character!

0:01:21 > 0:01:23LAUGHTER

0:01:23 > 0:01:25When a school play needed a 'shepherd number three'

0:01:25 > 0:01:28or a woodland creature, and I would come in like that, womph!

0:01:28 > 0:01:30I can do a pretty good meerkat.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35The year I played shepherd number three, not the best role.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38Shepherd number three meant I was one step above the kid

0:01:38 > 0:01:39that played sheep.

0:01:39 > 0:01:43Just a guy with cotton buds stuck on his face. It was really weird.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46My costume was so big I looked less like a herder of livestock

0:01:46 > 0:01:48and more like a massive walking tent!

0:01:48 > 0:01:51I'm walking around going, "Hi, I'm shepherd number three."

0:01:51 > 0:01:54You like look a massive pile of pants, what you talking about?!

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Also the changing rooms were

0:01:56 > 0:02:00so small every time shepherd number two farted my hair blew back.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02It was embarrassing.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05My mum's down the front trying to film me, but my costume's so big,

0:02:05 > 0:02:08she can't even tell who I am. The only way she knows who I am by

0:02:08 > 0:02:12working out which kitchen flannel she had given me as a head scarf.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14No matter how badly you do in a school play,

0:02:14 > 0:02:17your mum's always really embarrassingly proud of you.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20My mum's gone, "That was the best shepherd number three

0:02:20 > 0:02:23"I think I've ever seen".

0:02:23 > 0:02:26Really, Mum? I tripped over my massive costume, landed on top of

0:02:26 > 0:02:28the guy that played the sheep. He did a big "baah",

0:02:28 > 0:02:31I stood up, panicked and done a meerkat.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Let's get on with the show. Can I have the school bell, please?

0:02:34 > 0:02:37ROAR

0:02:37 > 0:02:39I'm going to have to get that fixed.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Let's meet the teams!

0:02:41 > 0:02:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:46 > 0:02:48On my left we have a girl who's not only intelligent,

0:02:48 > 0:02:50charming and witty...

0:02:50 > 0:02:53But who also writes her own intros. Give it up for Mitzi!

0:02:55 > 0:02:58And on Mitzi's team - you've seen him on Wizards vs Aliens,

0:02:58 > 0:03:00but look away if you don't want to see the scores.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- It's Percelle Ascott, everybody! - Here!

0:03:06 > 0:03:08And taking the team up to three is a woman

0:03:08 > 0:03:10who used to wear a wig in court.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13She's a lawyer, not a bald tennis player. It's Susan Calman!

0:03:13 > 0:03:14Here!

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Give it up for Mitzi's team, everyone!

0:03:20 > 0:03:22And on the other team is a boy who is so smart

0:03:22 > 0:03:24he does his homework in his sleep.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27Or at least he dreams he does. It's John Patrick AKA JP!

0:03:30 > 0:03:33On JP's team, someone who graduated from MI High

0:03:33 > 0:03:36to star in the nation's favourite TV show - our one!

0:03:36 > 0:03:39He's also in EastEnders. It's Sam Strike!

0:03:42 > 0:03:45And joining them is a member of CBBC's very own 4 O'Clock Club.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Probably the best show on CBBC that isn't on a 4.00,

0:03:48 > 0:03:50except this one. It's Dan Wright!

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Give it up for JP's team!

0:03:57 > 0:03:59OK, let's cut to the chase.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02In this show, you're either a winner or a big dog's dinner,

0:04:02 > 0:04:04because you lot play loads of crazy games

0:04:04 > 0:04:08to win yourself some special gold stars.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10AUDIENCE: Oooh!

0:04:10 > 0:04:11Ooh, my precious.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14I can give them out or take them away.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Remember it's Iain's school, so it's...

0:04:18 > 0:04:20AUDIENCE: Iain's rules!

0:04:20 > 0:04:22It's a very popular catchphrase.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24The winners get to hand in their homework, but the losers will

0:04:24 > 0:04:27have their jotters marked by the Dog, using his teeth.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30And they'll also face detention with our frankly frightening

0:04:30 > 0:04:33PE teacher, a man so sweaty he's got his own flood warning.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35It's Mr Smash and The Dog.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38And today, they're having a little arm wrestle.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40DOG GROWLS

0:04:40 > 0:04:42RIP

0:04:46 > 0:04:47Ahh!

0:04:50 > 0:04:53He could be there for literally hours,

0:04:53 > 0:04:56so let's get on this pony and go!

0:05:02 > 0:05:04This is Body Language,

0:05:04 > 0:05:07the round where we let our bodies do the talking.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Hey, wouldn't it be great if your bodies could talk?

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Mine would probably say, "What are you wearing?"

0:05:12 > 0:05:15I have questions, each has a three-letter answer.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19All you have to do is spell it out using your bodeses,

0:05:19 > 0:05:21or bodies for the laymen amongst you.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24First to go for a big gold star is Mitzi's team.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26So bring on the letterbox!

0:05:32 > 0:05:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:05:48 > 0:05:52What you have to do is answer the questions with your letters

0:05:52 > 0:05:56using just your bodies. Your time starts now.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59It's like the nights but with less vampires.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05What are you doing?! It looks like you're itching your bum.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08What's that?

0:06:08 > 0:06:10It's supposed to be a B.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14You're posing in a muscleman competition.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Don't mind me, I'm just judging. Don't mind me.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19OK. Next one. It lives with you but never pays any rent.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Pet!- Pet.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Mitzi, you just trying to make Percelle feel better?

0:06:26 > 0:06:30What have you done here? What are you doing?!

0:06:30 > 0:06:33- What is that?!- I'm trying to do...

0:06:33 > 0:06:34I'll give you that.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41- Dorothy's heartless friend was made from this.- Tin.- Yes.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Wait, no, no, no.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50To get the full points you've got to hold that in for three seconds.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52One, two, three!

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Yeah!

0:06:56 > 0:06:58It's a small version of a man.

0:06:58 > 0:07:03P again. Come on, Percelle. Do your B.

0:07:03 > 0:07:04Come on, Percelle.

0:07:06 > 0:07:07That's a D!

0:07:08 > 0:07:11You're not doing it in a mirror, mate.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13I'll give you that one.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16You might use this to build a fire. You put it on the fire.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Oh, put them on the fire.- Log!

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Yeah, I'll give you that.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25BELL RINGS

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Oh, time's up. Well done, Mitzi's team.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Please take a seat back by the desk. Give it up for Mitzi's team.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:07:33 > 0:07:36JP's team, on you come to the letterbox.

0:07:38 > 0:07:39Get in.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Right, guys, I'm going to give you the first question.

0:07:42 > 0:07:43That question is happening now.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46The rodent is what you smell when you think something is wrong.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48I smell a...?

0:07:48 > 0:07:51Gold star if you do rat face while you do it.

0:07:53 > 0:07:54Well done.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59- James Bond is a...?- Spy.- Yes.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01- P...- Oh, sorry. Wrong way.

0:08:03 > 0:08:08Lean on me. Head back a bit.

0:08:11 > 0:08:12I'll give you that one.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18- The size of a T-Rex poo. - Big?- Yes. Right.

0:08:24 > 0:08:25Brilliant!

0:08:25 > 0:08:30Next one. Something you would use to slide down a slope.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35- Nice S, mate.- Would it be a ski?

0:08:35 > 0:08:37I'll try to do that.

0:08:37 > 0:08:41Just lean right... Try and get right into it. Have you got that...?

0:08:41 > 0:08:46- Do your K!- I'm trying! - I'm going to die here!

0:08:46 > 0:08:48OK, I'll give you that.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55- This round is tiring.- Is it(?)

0:08:56 > 0:09:00- Like a jelly substance often used to style your hair.- Gel.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05- Can you spell?- I'm trying to think!

0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Gel.- G-E-L.- Yes. Yes.

0:09:10 > 0:09:14- E, JP.- I'm trying it.- E, mate.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- I can't really stretch my legs out for it.- Do an E!

0:09:21 > 0:09:23That one forward. Put that leg out.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Do the G to finish it. Do the G, do the G!

0:09:28 > 0:09:31Hold the E! I'll give you that one.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33- BELL RINGS - Time's up.

0:09:37 > 0:09:41Go back to your desk. JP's team, everybody.

0:09:48 > 0:09:52I can tell you that both teams get a gold star!

0:09:52 > 0:09:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:59 > 0:10:01It's time for Stick To The Point, where we ask

0:10:01 > 0:10:04most serious of important questions of our time.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Like, "Hey, Iain, who does your hair?"

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Well, it's 20 highly trained technicians

0:10:08 > 0:10:11from Laboratoire Hairdo Ridiculous - because...

0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'm worth it.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Anyway, I'm going to ask you guys some quickfire questions.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18You have to answer them as fast as you can.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21If you are not speedy, or repeat somebody else's answer,

0:10:21 > 0:10:22you are out of the game

0:10:22 > 0:10:25and have to set your finger on your lips in the shush position.

0:10:25 > 0:10:26Shush.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29A shiny gold star for the last team standing.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32For this, I need my stick of pointiness.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Beat that, Harry Potter.

0:10:40 > 0:10:44Yeah, I'm pretty magical. How did he do it?

0:10:44 > 0:10:47You will never know, children of the television.

0:10:47 > 0:10:53- OK, superpowers. Dan.- Being able to fly.- Percelle.- Strength.- Sam.

0:10:53 > 0:10:54Growing carrots.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58- Growing them?- You look at them and they grow.- Quickly?

0:10:58 > 0:11:02- Like, in seconds.- That is Alan Titchmarsh's superpower. Mitzi.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04- Turning invisible.- Ooh.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06- JP.- Being bossy.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Hm, OK. Susan.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12Telling if milk is off in the fridge before opening the fridge.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15I would pay good money to have that power. Dan.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Not being able to hear your mum moaning.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19CROWD: Boo!

0:11:19 > 0:11:21All right, mums, this isn't for you.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Percelle.- Reading minds.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31- What am I thinking?- That you're going to give me the point.- I am.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34And a gold star. Sam.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Moving stuff with your brain.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Moving stuff with your brain. Not your mind.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41You get your brain out and you just go, "Ehhh."

0:11:41 > 0:11:44- Yeah!- Mitzi.- X-ray vision.- Dan.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46Being able to read a book without actually reading it.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48It just goes straight in.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51Shush yourself because that's known as an audio book.

0:11:52 > 0:11:56- All right. Being able to... - Shush yourself!

0:11:56 > 0:12:01- Percelle.- Stretching...power. Super stretch.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03- Oh, come on!- Yes, yes.

0:12:03 > 0:12:07- Stretch.- That's just a human condition.- Shush yourself.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Sam.- X-ray vision.- Mitzi.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14- He repeated!- Oh, yes. Shush yourself.

0:12:14 > 0:12:18We've had X-ray vision. Thank you, everyone, for keeping me in check.

0:12:18 > 0:12:22- It's just JP versus the girls. JP.- Laser eyes.- Susan.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26- Change the television channels by blinking.- Ooh! JP.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Every superpower. - No, JP. Not every superpower.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31I'll put you in shush position.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33The points go to Mitzi's team for that one.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:12:35 > 0:12:38Right, next one. Mythical creatures/monsters.

0:12:38 > 0:12:39We'll start with Sam.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Iain Stirling.- I'll give you that.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44I hope you mean mythical creature, mate.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47- Mitzi.- Loch Ness Monster.- JP.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Susan.

0:12:49 > 0:12:50CROWD: Ohh!

0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Susan Calman. - I'll remember his name. Erm...

0:12:54 > 0:12:56LAUGHTER

0:12:56 > 0:13:00- JP, you are shushed for that comment.- Sorry!- Yes. I'm a lady.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06- Susan.- The Kraken!

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Dan. - The weird grandma of the Arctic.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15Ohhh, who only comes out at night and steals asparagus.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20- Percelle.- Godzilla.- Sam.- Minotaur.

0:13:20 > 0:13:24- Percelle.- Cyclops.- Sam.- Er...- No.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Shush yourself.

0:13:26 > 0:13:27- Susan.- Bigfoot.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30- Dan.- The strange cousin of Egypt.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34Who comes out and steals your carrots.

0:13:37 > 0:13:38We've got one more.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Only because I'm enjoying them you are not in shush position right now.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Mitzi.- Leprechauns.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Dan.- The bizarre... I'm out. I'm out.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Shush yourself! Points go to Mitzi's team.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57And at the end of that round, the winners

0:13:57 > 0:14:01and get another gold star is Mitzi's team.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:14:04 > 0:14:08- BOOMING VOICE:- School dinners!

0:14:08 > 0:14:11Oh, no. It's Mrs Mash, the dinner lady.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13My, my, there's a lot of

0:14:13 > 0:14:16rumbly tummies out here, especially yours, Stirling.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19What a racket. Still, it's better than the noises you usually

0:14:19 > 0:14:21make out of your, um...your mouth.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23SHE LAUGHS

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Anyway, don't panic, everybody, there is

0:14:25 > 0:14:27plenty of food for everybody.

0:14:27 > 0:14:31But here, Iain, I've made you a special wee treat. Look at that.

0:14:31 > 0:14:35Corned beef fricassee, that is. That is organic.

0:14:35 > 0:14:39It took me all day to cut the corns off my feet.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44And look, I've even got a wee bit of leftover tripe jelly

0:14:44 > 0:14:46there for the dog.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49Look at that. Isn't that wobbly?

0:14:49 > 0:14:50I'll tell you what,

0:14:50 > 0:14:53I'm not going to eat that that I know someone who will eat it.

0:14:53 > 0:14:54Mr Smash!

0:14:54 > 0:14:56HE SNIFFS Oh, here he comes.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00Here he comes. Oh, where's the... Oh. Oh, no.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03HE BARKS

0:15:03 > 0:15:06- AUDIENCE:- Ewww!

0:15:08 > 0:15:12Right, you, back in the kitchen! Back in the kitchen!

0:15:14 > 0:15:15Mr Smash and Mrs Mash.

0:15:21 > 0:15:25Now we come to the part of the show where I bring out my inner thespian.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27Yes, it's everyone's favourite part -

0:15:27 > 0:15:29Who Do You Think I Am?

0:15:29 > 0:15:32- Oh, Iain! - THEY GROAN

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Guys, you are all too kind.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37OK, using just the mystery of performance, I'm going

0:15:37 > 0:15:41to sink into my prop box and re-emerge as a famous character.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44You get to tell me - who do you think I am?

0:15:44 > 0:15:46Let's do this already! Come on!

0:15:51 > 0:15:55OK, JP's team. You're pretty lucky. You get to see the miracle first.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57Got some props I've got to get on.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00LAUGHTER

0:16:00 > 0:16:03I'm not going to do without props and it'd look stupid.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Are you some sort of bird? - I've got a thumb, mate.

0:16:06 > 0:16:08Oh, sorry, I didn't see that.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10- Have you ever seen a bird with a thumb, mate?- No.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13- I'm the one who is ridiculous.- Yeah!

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Can I act now?

0:16:15 > 0:16:17- HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:- 'I am an English woman.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21'Born over 500 years ago.

0:16:21 > 0:16:25'It is believed I had six fingers on one hand.

0:16:25 > 0:16:29'No-one knows if it's true, but I'll say this to you, Sam.

0:16:29 > 0:16:34'If you asked me to play the guitar, I can shred some mean solos.'

0:16:34 > 0:16:36ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS

0:16:36 > 0:16:40- I take it you can't play the guitar. - 'Listen to me.'

0:16:40 > 0:16:43ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS

0:16:43 > 0:16:45'In your face. Who am I?'

0:16:46 > 0:16:48'Who am I?'

0:16:48 > 0:16:51You're a really cranky old grandmother who can play the guitar.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55- A cranky old grandmother?- Yeah. - I've got a sixth finger, mate.

0:16:55 > 0:16:56It's got to make you a bit cranky.

0:16:58 > 0:16:59'Let's do clue number two.'

0:17:00 > 0:17:02OK.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05'For a brief period...' So high.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08You got to bring it lower. Pretend to be an English gentleman

0:17:08 > 0:17:11but just make it a little bit ladylike.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14- I've got you. I've nailed it. - OK.- I've got it.

0:17:14 > 0:17:15Here you go. I've got it.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19- HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:- 'For a brief period...'- Oh!- Stop laughing at me!

0:17:19 > 0:17:24'For a brief period in the 1530s, I was Queen of England.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27'In chess, the Queen can put the King into checkmate.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31'But in real life, the King can chop off the Queen's head,

0:17:31 > 0:17:33'which is what he had done.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35'He chopped my head clean off.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37'Who am I?'

0:17:37 > 0:17:40- What were you sentence for to be executed?- 'Ooh.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43'Because my husband was awfully cranky in the mornings.'

0:17:45 > 0:17:48Clue three, before you thought it could get any weirder.

0:17:50 > 0:17:55- I like the new do.- Oh, it's Basket Face.- Basket Face?!- Clearly.

0:17:56 > 0:18:00- Oh, that popular 1530s woman, Basket Face.- Yeah.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05'After my cheeky husband had my head chopped off,

0:18:05 > 0:18:07'he went on to marry four other women.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11'Normally women stay away from men who go on chopping people's heads

0:18:11 > 0:18:15'off, but he was the King of England so you've got to make an exception.'

0:18:15 > 0:18:18- SINGS:- # Who am I? My head is in a basket. #

0:18:18 > 0:18:20I'm trying to think but I don't know...

0:18:20 > 0:18:24'Think fast, I got a basket on my head.' It's heavier than it looks.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27- Is it Anne Boleyn?- I'm Anne Boleyn!

0:18:31 > 0:18:34I am Anne Boleyn, the second wife of King Henry VIII

0:18:34 > 0:18:36and mother of Queen Elizabeth I.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Give it up for JP's team, everybody!

0:18:39 > 0:18:41APPLAUSE

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Right. Mitzi, you've just seen some pretty powerful acting.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52- Have you started yet?- No.

0:18:52 > 0:18:56- Can you give me a signal as when you started?- You'll know. Ready?

0:18:56 > 0:18:57Is it now?

0:18:59 > 0:19:00Whoa.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03- AMERICAN ACCENT:- 'I am an American man.'

0:19:04 > 0:19:09Oh, dear. If any Americans are watching, this is how you talk.

0:19:10 > 0:19:15'I'm an American man who some people thought was a little strange. Me?

0:19:15 > 0:19:20'Strange? Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:19:20 > 0:19:26- 'I don't be thinking so. Who am I?'- Wow.- 'Yee-haw!'

0:19:26 > 0:19:29Do you have any ideas, Mitzi, who this could be?

0:19:29 > 0:19:33Well, no, because it's not very good acting, so...

0:19:33 > 0:19:36AUDIENCE: Ohhh.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39'You've been looking at me funny all day.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42'Stop being scared. Enjoy yourself.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44'Live your life!'

0:19:45 > 0:19:49- I don't know. Are you George W Bush?- 'George W Bush?

0:19:50 > 0:19:52'I said I was strange.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55'Would a president of the United States be strange?

0:19:55 > 0:19:57'I don't think so.'

0:19:57 > 0:20:00- OK.- 'Here we go. Clue number two. OK.

0:20:00 > 0:20:04'Some people know me as the father of the detective story.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07'Some people know me as a man created with defining

0:20:07 > 0:20:10'modern short stories and as a poet.

0:20:10 > 0:20:14'Others know me simply as that strange guy.'

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:20:18 > 0:20:21- Wow.- 'Who am I, Percelle?' - What year was you born in?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24'I was born in the past.'

0:20:24 > 0:20:25LAUGHTER

0:20:25 > 0:20:29- That kind of defeats the question. - 'You know, back in the day.'

0:20:29 > 0:20:33With the hair and the trousers, you look kind of like Prince.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Or Mick Jagger! You look quite like Mick Jagger.

0:20:38 > 0:20:42- Yeah. Mitzi, have you got any ideas to who this is?- Well, no.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45Stop looking so scared all the time!

0:20:45 > 0:20:50No, it's not that you're bad at acting, it's... I just don't know.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53Do you know what, Mitzi, you're one of the nicest people in the world.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55It is because the acting is bad but let's move on.

0:20:55 > 0:20:59'Third clue, and Mitzi, since you are such a nice little lady

0:20:59 > 0:21:02'just then, I'm going to give you a gold star as well. OK.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06'Here we go. I'm going to get my third clue on, yep!'

0:21:08 > 0:21:12- I know him.- Stop laughing.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15You look like Harry Potter with a bat on his face.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19- Harry Potter with the bat on his face?- Yeah!

0:21:19 > 0:21:21What's your favourite Harry Potter novel?

0:21:21 > 0:21:24Probably Harry Potter And The Bat On His Face.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28'I would like to deliver my next clue

0:21:28 > 0:21:30'in the form of a very short poem.

0:21:30 > 0:21:32'My most famous point is about a raven

0:21:32 > 0:21:35'and my top lip is completely unshaven.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37'That's not strange!'

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43'Who am I?'

0:21:43 > 0:21:46- Is it Edgar Allan Poe? - I'm Edgar Allan Poe!

0:21:51 > 0:21:53'I'm Edgar Allan Poe - American author, poet,

0:21:53 > 0:21:57- 'editor and cricket.' Cricket?!- Critic.

0:21:57 > 0:21:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:00 > 0:22:03'But I'm best known for my scary and mysterious tales.'

0:22:03 > 0:22:07Well done, Mitzi's team, you get a gold star!

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Our next game is in a world of its own.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20It's Globe Hoppers.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Globe Hoppers.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Hey! Hey!

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Hey! Hey!

0:22:27 > 0:22:29He bounced pretty high.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Poor Smash there, he gets lost putting his socks on in the morning.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34OK, so here is how this game works.

0:22:34 > 0:22:38- Very simple.- School disco!

0:22:38 > 0:22:39School disco!

0:22:41 > 0:22:42# I'm gonna see ya

0:22:42 > 0:22:44# I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya

0:22:44 > 0:22:47# One way or another

0:22:47 > 0:22:48# I'm gonna win ya

0:22:48 > 0:22:51# I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya... #

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Very simple. What happens is I'll ask a series of questions

0:22:57 > 0:22:59and the name of a country as their answer.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01But you don't just shout out the answers,

0:23:01 > 0:23:02that would be ridiculous,

0:23:02 > 0:23:05what happens is each team will have a globe hopper

0:23:05 > 0:23:09who bounces around the world and brings me back the answer.

0:23:09 > 0:23:13Sam and Percelle, you will be the globe hoppers for your teams.

0:23:13 > 0:23:17Now, bring me the world-ah!

0:23:24 > 0:23:26So, what's going to happen is we are going to take off.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Let's go round the world in 80 bounces.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Three, two, one, hop it, guys!

0:23:31 > 0:23:32Hop it!

0:23:32 > 0:23:34Get bouncing round that globe.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Your first question.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Where is the Taj Mahal?

0:23:38 > 0:23:39India! Yes, yes, Percelle!

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Bring it back.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43It's in India, correct.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Hop off, away!

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Mona Lisa lives in this country.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49France, France, France!

0:23:49 > 0:23:52It's there! It's there, Percelle! It's there!

0:23:53 > 0:23:55Oh, no!

0:23:55 > 0:23:57It's up high.

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Oh, stop knocking them all!

0:24:01 > 0:24:03OK. Getting off.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07CHEERING

0:24:07 > 0:24:08France.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11- Paddington Bear comes from this country.- Peru, Peru!

0:24:11 > 0:24:13As well as your Amazon River.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17- To the left!- Right beside it!

0:24:17 > 0:24:18Turn it! Turn it!

0:24:21 > 0:24:22Peru, correct.

0:24:23 > 0:24:26Godzilla originally came from this country.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Japan, Japan, Japan!

0:24:31 > 0:24:32Japan, correct.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Three, two, one, hop it!

0:24:35 > 0:24:39The country I'm looking for has plenty of ice on its land.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41Straight to the top. Top!

0:24:43 > 0:24:44Oh!

0:24:44 > 0:24:46You got it. Bring it over.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48Come on, Sam.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50Iceland.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51Well done.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56What are you two doing?!

0:24:56 > 0:24:59You're meant to be sworn enemies, not hugging each other.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00It's weird!

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Three, two, one, hop it!

0:25:03 > 0:25:06Come on, Sam.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08This place is famous for having a painted house,

0:25:08 > 0:25:10a painted white house.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12USA!

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Ooh. Percelle is getting...

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Oh, and USA! Correct.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19BELL RINGS

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Time's up!

0:25:22 > 0:25:23Time's up.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Percelle.

0:25:25 > 0:25:29Sam. Let's find out who's navigating the globe like a migrating goose

0:25:29 > 0:25:32and who's lost and confused like a penguin at a bus stop.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35I can tell you the winner of that round is JP.

0:25:35 > 0:25:37Well done, JP's team!

0:25:37 > 0:25:40Well done, Sam. Let's go back. Come on!

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Now it's time to salute our heroes

0:25:48 > 0:25:50and say goodbye to our big fat zeros.

0:25:50 > 0:25:54Mr Smash is standing by with his attitude correction facility.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57HE GRUNTS

0:25:57 > 0:26:00He really has some anger issues he needs to look at.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03OK, it's time to find out which team are swotty and which team are...

0:26:03 > 0:26:05- ALL:- Naughty!

0:26:05 > 0:26:10Oooh.

0:26:10 > 0:26:17I can tell you the winners this week are Mitzi's team!

0:26:17 > 0:26:19No!

0:26:19 > 0:26:20Well done.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22That means the losers are JP's team.

0:26:22 > 0:26:26Now, JP, Sam and Dan, you've got yourself detention with Mr Smash,

0:26:26 > 0:26:30so please hand your homework over to the dog to have a little snack on.

0:26:35 > 0:26:37And now, lads, take the walk of shame.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Off you go.

0:26:39 > 0:26:40- # La, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:26:40 > 0:26:42- # La, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:26:42 > 0:26:44- # La, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:26:44 > 0:26:46- # La, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:26:46 > 0:26:49# La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

0:26:49 > 0:26:50- # ALL:- Losers.- #

0:26:50 > 0:26:53Well done to the winners, Mitzi's team.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Mitzi, Susan and Percelle!

0:26:55 > 0:26:59Get up and hand me your homework!

0:26:59 > 0:27:01# La, la, la, la, la, la, la

0:27:01 > 0:27:03# We are the winners

0:27:03 > 0:27:05# La, la, la, la, la, la, la,

0:27:05 > 0:27:07# We are the winners. #

0:27:08 > 0:27:12OK, let's have the losers back for detention with Mr Smash!

0:27:12 > 0:27:14- # La, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:27:14 > 0:27:16- # La, la, la, la, la, la,- Losers

0:27:16 > 0:27:18- # La, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:27:18 > 0:27:20- # La, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:27:20 > 0:27:22- # La, la, la, la, la, la, la- Losers

0:27:22 > 0:27:24- #- Losers.- #

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Looking good, lads.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28- MORRIS DANCING MUSIC PLAYS - Little bit of morris dancing

0:27:28 > 0:27:30with Mr Smash there.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36Boy, am I glad I'm not a loser.

0:27:36 > 0:27:40OK, well, we didn't learn much but it sure was fun trying.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42See you all next time on...

0:27:42 > 0:27:45- ALL:- The Dog Ate My Homework.

0:27:45 > 0:27:48See ya!

0:27:48 > 0:27:49DOG BURPS

0:27:52 > 0:27:54MUSIC PLAYS

0:27:54 > 0:27:55ALL CLAP