0:00:43 > 0:00:45CHEERING
0:00:45 > 0:00:50Oh, hello!
0:00:50 > 0:00:53- Hello, are you all well? - CROWD CHEERS
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Yes. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:00:59 > 0:01:01a panel show all about school.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Now, I'm going to be pretty controversial here. I like school.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Think it's good. There, I said it.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10There's elements of school that can be 100% bad.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12100% bad like Brussels sprouts
0:01:12 > 0:01:16or your dad wearing tiny Speedo shorts on holiday.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Especially when he combines them with sandals and a bum bag.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20That is not a good look.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24That 100% bad thing is exams. I hate exams.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27There is nothing worse than waking up in the morning
0:01:27 > 0:01:29knowing you've got an exam that day.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31You get in bed and you're just thinking of any excuse
0:01:31 > 0:01:33to not have to go to school that day.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35You just go, "Mum, I can't go to school today...I've got...
0:01:35 > 0:01:39"I've got a bad limp. I don't think I'll be able to make it in."
0:01:40 > 0:01:43One time, instead of thinking of the stuff I'd actually learned
0:01:43 > 0:01:47all I had in my head was the Wimbledon theme tune.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- WIMBLEDON THEME PLAYS - Well, I mean its a good theme tune
0:01:49 > 0:01:52but it's no use to me when I'm trying to find out
0:01:52 > 0:01:53the square root of 196.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56TENNIS BALLS ARE HIT TO AND FRO
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Forget it. I don't know where that music came from.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04It's so easy to get distracted in exams.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Once during a Geography exam I spent the whole hour
0:02:06 > 0:02:09imagining what it would be like if instead of crying,
0:02:09 > 0:02:11babies just barked like a dog.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15Which is a funny thing to think of but it's not good in an exam.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16You answer the questions wrong.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19It's not my fault the question was misleading.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23They asked me, "How do you stop getting dangerous gases in mines?"
0:02:23 > 0:02:26And I wrote, "Stop giving the miners baked beans."
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Right, let's get on with this thing.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30So could we have the school bell, please?
0:02:30 > 0:02:34YODELLING
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I'm going to have to get that fixed. Right, let's meet the teams.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40APPLAUSE
0:02:43 > 0:02:47OK. On my left is someone who has very high standards at school.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49She never copies off people who can't spell.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Please give it up for Louisa, everybody.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55And in Louisa's team -
0:02:55 > 0:02:57his report card says he has many talents,
0:02:57 > 0:02:58one of which is playing the drums,
0:02:58 > 0:03:01I know he can because he keeps on banging on about it -
0:03:01 > 0:03:03it's James Acaster.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Hello.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06And over there - he got fed up of being a teacher
0:03:06 > 0:03:09so he wanted another job that lets you stand around
0:03:09 > 0:03:12talking to yourself all day, he became a comedian -
0:03:12 > 0:03:13it's Romesh Ranganathan.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Give it up for Louisa's team, everybody.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19APPLAUSE
0:03:19 > 0:03:22And on my right is a boy who sold his art homework
0:03:22 > 0:03:27to the Museum of Modern Art for 100 billion dollars -
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- it's Gabriel.- Whoo! - APPLAUSE
0:03:31 > 0:03:34And on Gabriel's team - her dancing dog, Pudsey,
0:03:34 > 0:03:36won Britain's Got Talent and is now working on a movie....
0:03:36 > 0:03:39but I bet he still drinks out the toilet though -
0:03:39 > 0:03:40it's Ashleigh Butler.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42APPLAUSE
0:03:42 > 0:03:45And from Radio One - there's nothing he likes better
0:03:45 > 0:03:48than interviewing famous celebrities...
0:03:50 > 0:03:53He can do that another day - it's Chris Stark.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Please give it up for both the teams!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03OK, listen up. Here's how this thing works.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07For every game you win, I'll bestow upon you a gold star.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09AUDIENCE OOHS
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Yes. And if you're really good, I'll bestow upon you a bonus gold star.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15AUDIENCE OOHS
0:04:15 > 0:04:18But if you're bad, I will un-bestow it.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Un-bestow is a word that I've just invented.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Get rid of it, get rid of the stars. - AUDIENCE AHHS
0:04:23 > 0:04:25That's right, people, you know how this thing works.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- It's Iain's School, so it's... - AUDIENCE:- Iain's rules!
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Yes, they're my rules but I don't let it go to my head.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37The team with the most gold stars at the end of the show
0:04:37 > 0:04:40get to hand in their homework. But watch out, the losers,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43your homework goes straight into Big Dog's dinner dish
0:04:43 > 0:04:48and you'll end up in detention with our delightful PE teacher Mr Smash.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50GRUNTING
0:04:55 > 0:04:57They share everything including fleas.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Right, enough shirking, let's get working.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03PUDSEY WHIMPERS AND BARKS
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Ah, Pudsey's got to go off and sign a book deal
0:05:05 > 0:05:07but he'll be back in a bit.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Let's say goodbye to Pudsey. - AUDIENCE:- Goodbye!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13We can't afford him for any longer than ten minutes.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23This is the round where we get lots of letters - it's Body Language.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28I'm going to ask you questions which all have three letter answers. Easy.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30But to make you really think on your feet
0:05:30 > 0:05:33you'll be spelling those words using your bodies.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37First up is Gabriel's team so bring on the Letter Box!
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- And, Gabriel, I like your hair, mate.- Thank you.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Yeah, it's a bit too good but I'm going to get over it.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06OK. Your time starts now.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Something you'd use on the way to the Sat Nav shop.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Um...GPS.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- That's what you'd buy there.- Car.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Think old school, old school GPS.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- Map!- Map!- Map!- Map!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26A ghost's catchphrase.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Boo.- Boo.- Boo. - Oh, how is this going to work?
0:06:29 > 0:06:30Wahhh!
0:06:32 > 0:06:36- Ahh!- What are you doing?! - I'm doing an O.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39I said do a letter not scream the words.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- I can't give you that, I'm really sorry.- What?!
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Oh, come on.- The... - AUDIENCE AHHS
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Oh, look at the state of it. - This was a B.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50- Hip's musical best friend.- Hop.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- What?- Hop.- What?- What?- Hop?
0:06:52 > 0:06:57- What am I doing?!- Hop, hop, hop. - Yes!- Hop. How do you do an H?
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- Pirate without the rat.- Pie. - What?- Oh, oh, it's a creeper.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Pie.- Poirot.- Pie.- Pie.- Oh.- Pie, pie.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10The ten-year-old got it the quickest, guys.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11That's worrying.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Stop...would you stop dancing? There you are, look at that.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16APPLAUSE BELL RINGS
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Oh, time's up, time's up!
0:07:18 > 0:07:22Well done, everyone. Give it up for Gabriel's team.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Please take a seat by your desk.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26And make your way up, guys. Up you come.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Come on, Louisa's team, up you come.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Welcome, Louisa's team.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- James...- Hello. - You seem pretty confident.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Very confident, thank you, Iain. Yes.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42Do you do lot of letters with your bodies in general day life?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45It's one of my hobbies. I've been doing it since I was seven.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50- Any particular specialities?- I. - AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Doing it right now?- Yeah.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- Ron?- This door is not... I mean, it's a joke.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Like, I'm already... I can't do anything. This is the only...
0:07:59 > 0:08:02I mean, if the letter is Romesh then I can do it
0:08:02 > 0:08:04but I just don't feel comfortable.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Louisa, who do you think is going to be the best - James or Romesh?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11You look like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place there.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13She couldn't even look at me.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16OK, let's do this. You've got until the bell rings.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18And your time starts now.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21If you take the pea out of peanut you have...
0:08:21 > 0:08:23- Nut.- Yes.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Oh, look at...
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Oh, their confidence was not misplaced.
0:08:28 > 0:08:29- Well done. - APPLAUSE
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Complete this rhyme -
0:08:31 > 0:08:33My dad's too hairy and out of shape
0:08:33 > 0:08:36He got lost at the zoo and now lives with an...
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- Ape.- Ape.- Oh, James, straight in.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Well done, it's good.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47The sound a pirate sheep would make.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49- Baa.- Baa...baa...baa.- Bar.- Bar.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Bar?- Barr.- B...Bar?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- Arr!- Arr?- Barr!- Bar?
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Stop shouting it at me.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- What is it, is it R or A?! - This is the whole point of the game!
0:09:00 > 0:09:02- R, it's R.- It's R?- Yes, it's R.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06- What are you meant to be?! - I'm an A.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10- Are you written in italics? What's happened?- Excuse me.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13James, you'll get a gold star, you've been the best so far.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Thank you very much, Iain. - No messing about, straight in.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19I'll give you that, I'll give you that.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22The letters above Mr Smash's head when he's sleeping.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26- Oh, zzz.- Zzz? How do you do...? What?!- Zzz.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- What...?- Oh, look at... Look at James' confidence crumble.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Oh, he's back in!- How's that, how's that? Is that working well?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Wait...wait...wait.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40- Who's the wrong way round?- Me. AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Romesh.- What?
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Am I the wrong way round? - You used to be a teacher, mate.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:09:44 > 0:09:47What are you two doing? Just look at that and do it.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50What is it? He looks like some...Egyptian.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54How is that...? You're just... You're favouring him. I was...
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I'm favouring him because he's doing the best.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Look at that, look at that, that is quality Z, mate.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01It looks like a maths teacher that's regretting his life decisions.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05That's what it looks like. I can't give you it. I can't give you...
0:10:05 > 0:10:06What?! Are you joking?!
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- BELL RINGS - Oh, time's up.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Give it up for Louisa's team. Please go back to your desks.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:10:21 > 0:10:24OK, time to reveal who won that game.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I can tell you - you've both done as well as each other.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- And you both get a gold star. - AUDIENCE OOHS
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Yes! Guys, I know you're excited, I know you're excited
0:10:40 > 0:10:42and I think I know why.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45It's time for the best thing to happen to television, it is time
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- for Who Do You Think I Am. - AUDIENCE SIGHS
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Here comes the best part of the show.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Yes. Stand by, guys.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54I'm about to use my impossible, brilliant acting talent
0:10:54 > 0:10:56to bring to life famous people from history.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59All you have to do is guess - who am I?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Let's do this already, please.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Louisa, you're up first.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12You look justifiably happy about the whole situation.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- No.- Oh, dear.- No in capitals.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Thank you. It's rubbish, mate.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20She toned that down from what she said earlier about you.
0:11:20 > 0:11:25- AUDIENCE LAUGHS - Oh, OK. Time for clue number one.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27This is the BBC, we don't mess about.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Oh, don't put yourself through this.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32What? I don't see what you're...
0:11:32 > 0:11:38- Mrs Stirling.- OK. I'm going to get into character, here we go.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- IMITATES FRENCH ACCENT:- Bonjour!
0:11:41 > 0:11:45I am a French-Polish science lady.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Who am I? Who am I?
0:11:48 > 0:11:54- I mean...- Je suis... Who am I? Ou est le piscine?
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Why are you asking where the swimming pool is?
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Why would you want to know where the swimming pool is dressed like that?
0:11:59 > 0:12:03Because French people... We are always interested where things are.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Ou est le bibliotheque? Ou est le piscine?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Oh, my books are all wet.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11So why are you wearing that if you're a science lady?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15I don't know. Je suis une French lady.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18You can't say, "Je suis une French lady."
0:12:18 > 0:12:21You're speaking to... That's not how French people speak.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22They don't go...
0:12:22 > 0:12:27- Je ne comprand what you're saying to me.- Comprand?! Comprand?!
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- Clue number...d...douze. - You don't even...- 12?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- Clue number d...d...- Deux!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Deux!- Deux.- Deux!- Deux. - Get it right.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Thank you, I am very forgetful.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39I've got my prop.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- It makes no sense without the prop. - Oh, this helps.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48I did lots and lots of physics and chemistry.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52I got given tonnes of prizes. Who...
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- I don't know what you're doing. - Who am I?
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- James, what is this?- That is...
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- SHAKES THE BELL WITH NO RINGER - It's a Nobel Prize.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03AUDIENCE SIGHS
0:13:03 > 0:13:08Oh, yeah, you're not laughing at the actual joke, are you?
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Nobel Prize.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- QUIETLY:- Who am I?
0:13:11 > 0:13:16Based...based purely on the accent, I think you might be my mum.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Oh, Romesh, so nice to have you home again in France.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Based on your wandering accent you are everybody's mum.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28You're just doing everyone's voice in the world.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33- OK, clue number...- Trois! Trois!
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Thank you. OK. For this I need the lights down.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- Get the lights down. - AUDIENCE OOHS
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Ooh, yeah, easily pleased.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48OK, put 'em back up so you can see my acting again.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- Down, please.- Don't you dare... If you put the lights down...
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Turn the lights down.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55If you put the lights down when I start acting,
0:13:55 > 0:13:57you're in a lot of trouble.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Get 'em back up!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- IMITATES FRENCH ACCENT:- I did lots of science things
0:14:06 > 0:14:09with my husband and I kept discovering things.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Like, "Oh, look, Pierre!
0:14:11 > 0:14:14"Look what I have discovered, I've discovered a new element
0:14:14 > 0:14:16"I'm going to call it polonium."
0:14:16 > 0:14:19- I probably shouldn't be holding polonium.- Can I do it?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- AUDIENCE LAUGHS - Who am I?
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Do you have any ideas who he might be?
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Er...was it...I can't remember...
0:14:27 > 0:14:29I can't exactly remember a name but it just rings a bell.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- It rings a bell? - AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- APPLAUSE - Good joke.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38A gold star for the unintentional pun. Well done.
0:14:38 > 0:14:44- AUDIENCE OOHS - Are you...are you Marie Curie?- Yeah.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Je suis Marie Curie!
0:14:49 > 0:14:53I was Marie Curie who, in 1903, was the first woman to receive
0:14:53 > 0:14:54a Nobel Prize in physics.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57She was so clever she got another one for chemistry.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01So, Gabriel's team, ready for this?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04My first clue... If I can find it.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Here...it's here, I'm glad I've got it.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Just going to bang this on.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11'Schoooool disco!'
0:15:11 > 0:15:13School disco!
0:15:13 > 0:15:17MUSIC: Dibby Dibby Sound by DJ Fresh vs Jay Fay
0:15:26 > 0:15:29MUSIC STOPS SUDDENLY
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Get into character
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Hubbly-be-bluh-bluh-badda-ba. OK.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- IMITATES SCOTTISH ACCENT:- I'm a Scottish man.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43I'm a Scottish man born in Edinburgh in 1850,
0:15:43 > 0:15:44I don't mind telling ye.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47I'm also a celebrated writer.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Could I just ask a question?
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Did they have totally different Scottish accents in 1850?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54I'm glad you asked that, Gabriel.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Yes, we did, actually, we were developing it.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01In 1850 it hadnae come to the proper...
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Also, a little issue they had in 1850,
0:16:04 > 0:16:07your moustache couldnae stick on your face.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10It actually looks like you've got like an animal tail on your face.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- Yeah, is it definitely a moustache that we're looking at there?- Yeah.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17It smells like it might've belonged to an animal in the past.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Who am I?
0:16:19 > 0:16:24- Moustache guy.- Moustache guy?! - Moustache guy.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28Where at school have you learned about the famous moustache guy?!
0:16:28 > 0:16:29What school do you go to?!
0:16:29 > 0:16:33The Facial Hair Primary School for Nincompoops?
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- Well, in fact, I actually like facial hair.- You like facial hair?
0:16:37 > 0:16:38- You don't want that one. - You can try...
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Oh, no, you don't want that moustache.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- You can have wee go as well. - Wow.- Let's all get in.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Look at that, we can share the moustache.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48It does smell weird, doesn't it?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- It does, it smells like a rat's bottom.- Eurgh.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:16:52 > 0:16:55OK, time for clue number two. Here we go.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59What?!
0:16:59 > 0:17:03- Aye, aye, don't question the acting Chris Stark from Radio One.- Yeah.
0:17:05 > 0:17:10So! I decided to tell my children of a tale of pirates,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12treasure and long johns.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16I followed that up with another one - a classic tale about a doctor
0:17:16 > 0:17:18with a split personality.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21He should probably see himself about that.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25- Did you get...? Yes! - That was quite good.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Now we're cooking with gas.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- Who am I?- What do we think?
0:17:29 > 0:17:34I'm a writer, I'm from Scotland and I wrote Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- Go. I don't know.- Neither do I.- No, neither do I so we need to guess.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- Can we ask the audience? - Oh, that is a good point.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Any help? - There is no rule against that.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- Three, two, one you can shout out. Three, two, one.- Great result.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49AUDIENCE: Robert Louis Stevenson.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- That's the answer.- Yay, that's it. - He said it.- Say it back.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- I heard Stevenson.- Robert... - I heard...
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- AUDIENCE SHOUTS ANSWER - No, no, no! They've had their hand.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Robert L Stevenson.- Yeah, yeah.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Who?- Robert...- Robert.- Yeah.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- AUDIENCE SHOUTS ANSWER - Louis...- No! Yeah.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11..Stevenson.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15- I'm Robert Louis Stevenson! - APPLAUSE
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Well done, Gabriel's team.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19I am Robert Louis Stevenson, known for writing Treasure Island
0:18:19 > 0:18:23and The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Well done. Because of my amazing acting, both teams get a gold star.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39This game moves faster than a hamster on a motorised wheel.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41It's Sprint Finish. Here's how it works.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43One of you will act out different sporty things
0:18:43 > 0:18:46and your team have to guess what it is you're acting out.
0:18:46 > 0:18:52Louisa, you're up first so please put yourself on the Sports Spot.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56'The Sports Spot!'
0:18:56 > 0:18:59OK, Louisa. Your time starts now. Go!
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- Football. - What is she doing more precisely?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- Kicking.- Drib...- Drib...?- Dribbling?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- Dribbling, yes! - APPLAUSE
0:19:09 > 0:19:13- LOUISA LAUGHS - Motorbike.- Make the noises.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Tell you what...- Jet ski. - I'll be the...
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- You're attached to me, ready?- OK. - Vrrooom.- Water skiing.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Yes!
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Golf.- Cricket. Baseball.- Oh.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- Croquet.- Teeing off.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28What is it? It is golf but what is she...
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- Putting...- What is the equipment? - Hole in one.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35- What's she putting in the ground? - A golf tee.- Yes!
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Come on.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41- Jogging. Running. Sweating. - Marathon running.- Yes!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45I'm surprised it wasn't sweating.
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Oh, this is a good one.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Praying. Yoga.- Yes! - APPLAUSE
0:19:49 > 0:19:52BELL RINGS
0:19:52 > 0:19:57- Well done, Louisa, take a seat. - Louisa, you're brilliant!
0:19:57 > 0:19:58Well done.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02- How old are you?- Nine. - How do you know what yoga is?
0:20:02 > 0:20:08- I just do.- Oh, like, everyone knows what yoga is, grandad.
0:20:08 > 0:20:13Well, after that round, I feel like a bicycle from the Tour de France.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Two-tyred.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Sarcastic but I'll take it.
0:20:18 > 0:20:23OK, Gabriel, it is now your turn so make your way to the Sports Spot.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27'The Sports Spot!'
0:20:27 > 0:20:31OK. Gabriel, your time starts when the first one comes over.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35You've got until the bell rings. Three, two, one, go!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- Football.- Whistle.- Whistle. Goalkeeper.- Referee.- Referee.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45- Penalty. Free kick.- Um...um. - What's the referee doing?
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Sending someone off.- Oh-oh. I don't know anything about football.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Red card.- Red card. - Yes, red card!- Yes.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55- Sailing.- Surfing.- Surfing. Roller skating.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- It's specifically something.- Um...
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- What object is he on?- A board. - What type of board?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02- Snowboard.- Waterboard.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- A waterboard?!- Yeah.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09- A waterboard. - ASHLEIGH SHOUTS
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- It's a board and it's on water, what is it?- A waterboard.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Stop saying waterboard.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- A surfboard.- Yes!- Well done.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21You're...waltzing.
0:21:21 > 0:21:26- You're...doing The Birdie Dance. - The Birdie Dance.- Cycling. Round.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- You're washing a car. You're... - He's doing it sort of...
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Winding down the windows.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33- Golfing.- Oh, look at that.- Oh!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- You're rowing.- Yes! - APPLAUSE
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- Tennis.- Serve.- It's a... - Serving.- Ace.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45- Hitting it.- Badminton. Squash.- Badminton!
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- Skipping.- No, what is he skipping with?- Jump roping.- No.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- Jumping. Rope. Pointing. - It's the object.- What?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55It's the object.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57- A skipping rope.- Yes!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- Oh, my God, Ashleigh. - BELL RINGS
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Take a seat, Gabriel.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02- That was so fun.- Well done, Gabriel.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08OK, and at the final whistle, I can reveal that it is a draw.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12- You both get gold stars. - AUDIENCE OOHS
0:22:18 > 0:22:21It's time now for a round that's complete and utter rubbish.
0:22:21 > 0:22:22It's Bin Busters.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24'Bin Busters.'
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Yeah, the cleaners have gone on strike
0:22:25 > 0:22:27so we've had to clean up ourselves.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Luckily, we have two teams who know the meaning of the word rubbish.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34One panellist from each team will race to put as much rubbish
0:22:34 > 0:22:37as they can into the recycling bins using a vacuum cleaner
0:22:37 > 0:22:39strapped onto their back.
0:22:39 > 0:22:45Louisa...who are you going to choose to wear the 'bacuum' cleaner?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- Romesh.- Rom?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Have you just picked Romesh cos it sounds like rubbish?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- AUDIENCE LAUGHS - That's what's happened here.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56- Gabriel, who are you going to go with?- Ashleigh.- Good man.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00There you go. Well, in that case, Romesh, Ashleigh,
0:23:00 > 0:23:03please make your way up here, get your 'bacuum' cleaners.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Let's do this.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- OK. Are you ready to go, guys? - Yes, Iain.
0:23:10 > 0:23:16- Then in three, two, one - GO! - CHEERING
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Go on, Romesh!
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Oh, it's double whammy. It's a double...
0:23:29 > 0:23:33Romesh is behind. You're behind, Rom.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Oh, no!
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- Get Ashleigh. - ASHLEIGH SHRIEKS
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- Get some Ranganathan. - Go on, Ashleigh. Yes!
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Oh, not that many!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Rom, Ashleigh's cheating.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09Ashleigh has used foul play of the highest order.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- JAMES CHANTS:- Romesh Ranganathan.
0:24:12 > 0:24:17Oh, no. Oh, dear.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19ASHLEIGH SHRIEKS
0:24:19 > 0:24:23- Go on, Rom.- Go on, Rom, this is your chance to shine.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Go on, Ashleigh.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Squish that can. Squish that can.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Oh, no, no, you can't.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Go on, Ashleigh. No, no, no, no!
0:24:37 > 0:24:42Only one. Oh, she keeps throwing out two, Rom.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44- BELL RINGS - Time's up, time's up.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46CHEERING AND BOOING
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Make your way to your recycle bins. - ROMESH WHEEZES HEAVILY
0:24:49 > 0:24:51- ASHLEIGH:- I'm still hoovering. - Oh, dear.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- Romesh. - ROMESH PANTS
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Romesh.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03It's OK, they can't get you now, it's OK.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05OK.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09OK, in through the nose and out through the mouth.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11OK, there we go.
0:25:11 > 0:25:18Romesh, you managed... one, two, three, four, five, six.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- OK, six. - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Ashleigh, stand here.
0:25:23 > 0:25:31You managed one, two, three, four, five, six!
0:25:31 > 0:25:33APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:33 > 0:25:36It's a tie, both teams get a gold star.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- You!- Round the back.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Oh, it's tense. Oh, it's tense.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51We're about to find out who's standing high
0:25:51 > 0:25:52like a beer can on a ladder
0:25:52 > 0:25:55and who's sinking like an overweight haddock.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Anyway, it's time to find out which team are swotty
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- and which team are... - AUDIENCE:- Naughty!
0:26:02 > 0:26:08- AUDIENCE:- Ooooooooooooh!
0:26:08 > 0:26:10The winners are...
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Louisa's teeeeeeeeeam!
0:26:17 > 0:26:19That means the losers are Gabriel's team.
0:26:19 > 0:26:24Oh, dear, what have you done to deserve this?
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Detention with the scariest teacher this side of Matilda.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- Smashy, take them on their walk of shame.- Oh, no.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32MR SMASH GRUNTS AND GROWLS # La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers
0:26:32 > 0:26:35# La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers
0:26:35 > 0:26:39# La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers
0:26:39 > 0:26:41# La-la losers. #
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Well done to the winners.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Please give it up for Louisa, James and Romesh.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Louisa, hand in your homework.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Louisa, bring it here.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53# La-la-la la-la-la-la You are the winners... #
0:26:53 > 0:26:56- Thank you very much. - # ..la-la-la la-la-la-la
0:26:56 > 0:26:59# You are the winners. #
0:26:59 > 0:27:01OK, let's have the losers back.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Gabriel, Ashleigh and Chris back for detention with Mr Smash!
0:27:04 > 0:27:07MR SMASH GRUNTS AND GROWLS # La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers
0:27:07 > 0:27:10# La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers
0:27:10 > 0:27:14# La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers La-la-la-la-la-la-la losers
0:27:14 > 0:27:16# La-la Losers. #
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- MR SMASH GRUNTS AND GROWLS - Look at that.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21It's like a Mr Smash family reunion.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23All your hard work was wasted.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Your homework is about to become a high calorie meal for the dog.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Bring on our hungry dog!
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Hand your homework over. Hand the homework over.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Well, we didn't learn much but it was sure fun trying.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40See you all next time on...
0:27:40 > 0:27:43- AUDIENCE:- The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Sees ya.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48DOG BURPS