Episode 1

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04CHEERING

0:00:09 > 0:00:11BELL RINGS

0:00:11 > 0:00:14CHATTER

0:00:38 > 0:00:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:47 > 0:00:52WHIP CRACKS Down! Stay back! Stay back! Stay...

0:00:52 > 0:00:54ROARING Stay back! Stay back!

0:00:54 > 0:00:57No, Mr Smashy, you can't have any more chocolate.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Get... Get away!

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Oh, h-hello!

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Welcome to the show!

0:01:03 > 0:01:06CHEERING

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Thank you. Oh!

0:01:10 > 0:01:13Oh! Oh, please, no.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Please, no. Please, no. Stop it. Hello.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework -

0:01:19 > 0:01:22a show that's very popular with our four-legged friends.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25Maybe they love seeing another dog on the television...

0:01:25 > 0:01:27MWAH! MWAH!

0:01:27 > 0:01:30A little treat for all the hounds out there!

0:01:30 > 0:01:31OK, let's meet our teams!

0:01:33 > 0:01:36On my right, a girl whose pencil case

0:01:36 > 0:01:39is covered in pictures of oranges and Mr Smash.

0:01:39 > 0:01:41It's a fruit and nut-case!

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Say hello to Liberty, everyone!

0:01:44 > 0:01:46- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, Sir!

0:01:46 > 0:01:51And joining Liberty, he's 50% of a very witty duo,

0:01:51 > 0:01:52making him a genuine half-wit.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55From Johnny And Inel, it's Johnny Cochrane.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, Sir.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59Also on Liberty's team,

0:01:59 > 0:02:02a man who we're all used to seeing in our living rooms around tea-time.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Maybe he'll cook his own dinner one day.

0:02:04 > 0:02:08It's CBBC's Chris "Yonko" Johnson!

0:02:08 > 0:02:10- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, Sir.

0:02:12 > 0:02:13On my left,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16a boy who said he did last year's exams standing on his head.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19Maybe next time, he'll use a chair. It's Lucas.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, Sir!

0:02:22 > 0:02:23And on Lucas's team,

0:02:23 > 0:02:27someone who told me she couldn't pay me back that tenner she lent me

0:02:27 > 0:02:29because she's a little SHORT.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32LAUGHTER It's comedian Susan Calman.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, Sir.

0:02:34 > 0:02:35I'm sorry!

0:02:35 > 0:02:38And also on their team, a man who's got a date with Destiny.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Luckily, Destiny cancelled, so he's here with us now.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44It's Johnny's other half, Inel Tomlinson.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, Sir.

0:02:47 > 0:02:48OK, here's how the game works.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50The teams compete against each other

0:02:50 > 0:02:53to get as many gold stars as is humanly possible.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57Stars can only be called down using my unique vocal cry.

0:02:57 > 0:03:02TARZAN-LIKE BELLOW

0:03:02 > 0:03:03BURP!

0:03:03 > 0:03:04LAUGHTER

0:03:04 > 0:03:07I'll give bonus stars for cold, hard ca...

0:03:07 > 0:03:11I mean, I'll give bonus stars for witty answers.

0:03:11 > 0:03:12But be warned - any nonsense

0:03:12 > 0:03:15and I'll release those stars back into the wild.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Be free, my pretties.

0:03:17 > 0:03:18- AUDIENCE:- Awwwwwwww.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Hey, there's no point grumbling cos, as you all know,

0:03:21 > 0:03:22it's Iain's school, so it's...

0:03:22 > 0:03:24- AUDIENCE:- ..Iain's rules!

0:03:24 > 0:03:27The team with the most stars at the end of the show

0:03:27 > 0:03:28will be crowned Champions Of Awesome,

0:03:28 > 0:03:32and the losers get to spend quality time with this guy.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35HE STRAINS

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Here, doggy, doggy, doggy. Here, doggy, doggy, doggy.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43HE CONTINUES STRAINING

0:03:43 > 0:03:44LAUGHTER

0:03:48 > 0:03:49THUD!

0:03:49 > 0:03:52LAUGHTER

0:03:52 > 0:03:54OK, let's get on with the show!

0:03:58 > 0:04:01This is Stick To The Point...

0:04:01 > 0:04:02'Stick...To The Point!'

0:04:02 > 0:04:04..where I ask quickfire questions

0:04:04 > 0:04:06and the teams have to answer them as fast as they can.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08If they're too slow, repeat an answer

0:04:08 > 0:04:11or just start foaming at the mouth,

0:04:11 > 0:04:13then I'll make them assume the "shush" position!

0:04:13 > 0:04:16Of course, I alone can't make you do anything.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18BUT THIS CAN!

0:04:18 > 0:04:21DA-DA-DAAAAAAH!

0:04:22 > 0:04:25Yes, it's my Stick Of Pointyness.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28Cower in its pointy presence!

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Shush position, right now!

0:04:31 > 0:04:32Shush position.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Or I will whip you!

0:04:34 > 0:04:36WHIP CRACKS TWICE

0:04:36 > 0:04:38LAUGHTER

0:04:38 > 0:04:40WHIP CRACKS

0:04:40 > 0:04:41It's evil, Susan!

0:04:41 > 0:04:42WHIP CRACKS Shush!

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Be quiet, you demon!

0:04:44 > 0:04:45SHE LAUGHS

0:04:47 > 0:04:51OK, first topic - things that make you itch.

0:04:51 > 0:04:52Johnny.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Ants.

0:04:53 > 0:04:54W-Where in particular?

0:04:54 > 0:04:56- In pants.- Yes, please!

0:04:56 > 0:04:57Inel.

0:04:57 > 0:04:58Dogs.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00SCATTERED LAUGHS

0:05:00 > 0:05:02What are you doing with a dog that makes you itch?

0:05:02 > 0:05:03Wearing it as a hat?

0:05:03 > 0:05:05When they get a bit too close to you, you know,

0:05:05 > 0:05:07and they start rubbing up against you.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10Like, "Eh, stop that", and then you start itching afterwards.

0:05:10 > 0:05:11Yes, please.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13- Yonk.- Tweed.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Tweed, please. Woolly trousers.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18- Susan.- Heat.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Yeah, it makes me itch. Johnny.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Salty water, seawater.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yes. Lucas.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Oh, Shush Position.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28Yonk.

0:05:28 > 0:05:29Mosquito bites.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31The kind that when you get that one little itch,

0:05:31 > 0:05:34it weeps for a week and completely ruins your holiday in Cyprus.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37- I paid so much money for that. - Susan.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Something that makes me itch is talking about things

0:05:39 > 0:05:41- that make you itch. - That is true.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44To be honest, I am feeling quite itchy just now.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47I feel like I have got woolly trousers on.

0:05:47 > 0:05:48Liberty.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51You know that stuff that you do washing up with?

0:05:51 > 0:05:53- Washing-up powder? - That silver stuff.

0:05:53 > 0:05:54Scouring pad thing.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57You're not supposed to wash yourself with it.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59"Are you ready for the disco, Liberty?"

0:05:59 > 0:06:01SCREAMING: "I'm coming! Oh!"

0:06:03 > 0:06:04Inel.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Sticky tree bark.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09You know that stuff on the tree, the bark.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11It's sticky. Sticky tree bark.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14Sticky tree bark. It sounds like a song.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16- RAPPING:- # Sticky tree bark Yeah, yeah

0:06:16 > 0:06:18# I said sticky tree bark Yeah, yeah

0:06:18 > 0:06:21# It's sticky tree bark Yeah, yeah... #

0:06:21 > 0:06:23- RHYTHMIC CLAPPING - # It's sticky tree bark, yeah, yeah

0:06:23 > 0:06:26# I say sticky you say bark

0:06:26 > 0:06:27# I say sticky you say

0:06:27 > 0:06:29# Bark

0:06:29 > 0:06:30# I say sticky you say

0:06:30 > 0:06:31# Bark

0:06:31 > 0:06:32# I say sticky you say

0:06:32 > 0:06:34# Bark. #

0:06:34 > 0:06:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:06:38 > 0:06:41I'm going to give you a bonus gold star for that, Inel, as well.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Well done, well done. Johnny.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46Christmas trees are seriously, seriously itchy.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Yes, please. Inel.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Those flowers that have, like, the really tiny holes in them,

0:06:52 > 0:06:55but there's so many tiny holes that when you look at it,

0:06:55 > 0:06:57your skin just crawls.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00- Does anyone have any idea what he's talking about?- No.- No.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02They're out there somewhere.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07When you see them, you start scratching.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10Then you be like, "Yeah, Inel was right."

0:07:10 > 0:07:11Yonk.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14Boring conversation, "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17"It's just I've got to... I've got a thing... I've got..."

0:07:17 > 0:07:21I'm not quite sure how that gets you out of a boring conversation, but...

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Yeah, great answer, Chris. Great answer.

0:07:23 > 0:07:24Susan.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26A dress made out of tinsel.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31You know, you go to a formal occasion.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33You haven't picked up anything new.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36You think, "Well, I'll just make a dress out of tinsel."

0:07:36 > 0:07:38- And you walk to the party... - Well, get on the bus.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Go to the party. - "Just a single, please."

0:07:44 > 0:07:48All the time, everyone is looking at you because you're itching.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51Not because of the tinsel dress.

0:07:51 > 0:07:52Christopher.

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Starchy underpants.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Oh!

0:07:55 > 0:07:57- Inel. - Oh...

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Shush Position.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Susan, it's three on one.

0:08:01 > 0:08:02Let's see what you can do here. Liberty.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04- Grass?- Yes. Susan.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07When somebody has a ponytail in front of me in the queue

0:08:07 > 0:08:09and it gently wafts against my face.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11You know, people with those ponytails and they're like,

0:08:11 > 0:08:14"Oh, look at my ponytail, look at my ponytail."

0:08:14 > 0:08:15It's all over my face.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17I'm like, "GET OUT OF MY FACE WITH THE PONYTAIL!

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Yes. Johnny.

0:08:19 > 0:08:20Fabric conditioner.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26No. Shush Position.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27Shush Position.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29- Susan.- An infected cut.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31- Yes. Chris.- Pins and needles?

0:08:33 > 0:08:37- No.- No. Shush Position. It's Liberty versus Calman.

0:08:37 > 0:08:41Who will be triumphant? Here we go. Susan.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44The label on the back of a T-shirt you haven't managed to cut out yet.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Yes. Liberty.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Stubble.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51I'm not sure... It looks itchy when you look at it.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54You look at my face and it makes you itchy?

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Yeah.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58Susan.

0:08:58 > 0:08:59Tight pants.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Liberty.

0:09:01 > 0:09:02Oh!

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Points for Lucas's team!

0:09:05 > 0:09:06CHEERING

0:09:08 > 0:09:14OK. Things you might find under your bed. Johnny.

0:09:14 > 0:09:15Monsters.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20You want to come round to my room. Honestly.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22There is one under there, I don't even look any more.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24- Lucas.- My dirty socks.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26Yes. Chris.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29An unnecessarily large amount of Doctor Who action figures

0:09:29 > 0:09:30for a 24-year-old man to own.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32INEL LAUGHS

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Susan.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Cat sick.

0:09:39 > 0:09:40GROANING

0:09:40 > 0:09:42- What?!- She's got cats!

0:09:42 > 0:09:46I've got cats, sometimes they're sick. I'm a busy modern lady.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49I don't have time to clean that up.

0:09:49 > 0:09:53You can scrape it into one of Chris's Tardises.

0:09:53 > 0:09:54I mean, there's plenty of room.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Oh!

0:09:57 > 0:09:58- Liberty.- Rubbish.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Rubbish, yes. Lucas.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04- My cat.- Covered in sick or just...?

0:10:04 > 0:10:05Johnny.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07- Spiders. - Yeah. Inel.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Mice droppings.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11AUDIENCE: Ew!

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Eh, eh, eh! It was a tough year last year.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15- Liberty.- Hair.

0:10:15 > 0:10:16That's disgusting, Liberty!

0:10:16 > 0:10:19How could you possibly have hair under your bed.

0:10:19 > 0:10:20SUSAN LAUGHS

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Lucas.

0:10:22 > 0:10:23My socks.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27We've had socks. Shush Position, Lucas, I'm afraid.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28Chris.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Empty action figure boxes to keep in mint condition,

0:10:30 > 0:10:33so I can stick them back in and flog them later for twice the price

0:10:33 > 0:10:34- and make a mint. - Yeah.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Susan.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38My custom-made Batman outfit.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42I would see you more as a Robin myself.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Why? Cos women can only be the sidekick, Iain,

0:10:45 > 0:10:46is that what you're saying?

0:10:46 > 0:10:48OOHING

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Oh, dear!

0:10:51 > 0:10:54I've fallen into one of those 2015 things.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56I don't know what to say.

0:10:56 > 0:10:57Chris.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59The floor.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01Oh!

0:11:01 > 0:11:02Very good.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Susan.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08- Winter jumpers.- Lovely. Johnny.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12- Socks.- We've had socks. Get in the Shush Position.

0:11:12 > 0:11:13Inel.

0:11:13 > 0:11:17Eh, change. For when it falls out your pyjama pockets.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19When you're...

0:11:19 > 0:11:23When you're sleeping, and then it just falls out your pocket.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26In the morning you look under your bed like, "Oh, there's money!"

0:11:26 > 0:11:30You're walking about Tesco in your pyjamas going, "Oh, no!"

0:11:30 > 0:11:32- Yonk.- The legs of the bed.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34Yes. Inel.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Dirt.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39I'm going to Shush Position. You hesitated.

0:11:39 > 0:11:40Ah...

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Ah!

0:11:42 > 0:11:43OK, Liberty.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Bags.- Bags. Susan.

0:11:45 > 0:11:46A nice rug.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49Ooh. Bit of a waste under the bed.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53- No, but it's...- But you're earning. You're earning, Susan.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56"I'll buy this lovely rug and just chuck it under the beg,

0:11:56 > 0:11:58"because I'm moneybags.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02"Cats, throw up on that, I don't even need it.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05"Don't even need it." Yonks.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09- Toenails.- Yes. It's true, I've got that. Susan.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Old plasters.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13Ooh. Liberty.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Pyjamas.- Good. Susan.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18Last time I went under there I found a verruca sock.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20GROANING

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I wear them for protection more than anything else.

0:12:24 > 0:12:25Why is it under the bed, then?

0:12:25 > 0:12:26So, I don't have a verruca,

0:12:26 > 0:12:29but I like to wear them so I don't get a verruca.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32- So, I wear two verruca socks... - At all times?

0:12:32 > 0:12:35No, when I go swimming. I'd just gone swimming.

0:12:35 > 0:12:40Just a picture of you in a swimming costume and two verruca socks.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43And I wear, like, a right proper Victorian swimming costume

0:12:43 > 0:12:45that covers all of me.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47With the red and white stripes?

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Do you wear a moustache, as well?

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Chris.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Eh...- Oh!

0:12:53 > 0:12:54Shush Position.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57Oh, it's Liberty-Susan again! Susan.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Remote control. - Will it ever end?!

0:13:00 > 0:13:01Liberty.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Buttons from the remote.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05- Buttons from the remote?- No.- Ah...

0:13:05 > 0:13:07When you drop it, they fall out.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09No, then... Shush Position.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Points go to Lucas's team.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:13:13 > 0:13:15BELL RINGS

0:13:15 > 0:13:17That bell means it's the end of the round.

0:13:17 > 0:13:21At the end of that round, the gold star goes to Lucas's team!

0:13:21 > 0:13:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:13:29 > 0:13:33OK, guys, it's now time for Pie The Supply.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35- DEEP VOICE:- 'Pie The Supply.'

0:13:35 > 0:13:38In a moment, I'll present the teams with four people

0:13:38 > 0:13:39all claiming to be real teachers.

0:13:39 > 0:13:43Our teams then have to try and pick who the real supply teacher is,

0:13:43 > 0:13:47then give them a great big pie in their mush.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50So, let's bring out the teachers.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52JEERING

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Evil teachers.

0:14:00 > 0:14:04OK, teams. Today, we're trying to place the biology teacher.

0:14:04 > 0:14:09Here's a bit of information about our teachers today.

0:14:09 > 0:14:14Teacher number one, Mrs Keenan, has been a biology teacher for 15 years.

0:14:14 > 0:14:18Before becoming a teacher, she worked as a sports physiotherapist

0:14:18 > 0:14:21and had to massage Andy Murray's feet.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Teacher number two, Miss Livingstone,

0:14:23 > 0:14:26has been a biology teacher for six years.

0:14:26 > 0:14:32Her favourite fact about the subject is that fart breath is a real thing.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36Teacher number three, Mr Burke, has been teaching for ten years.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39As a student, he wanted to become a doctor,

0:14:39 > 0:14:43but decided it would be easier to help children learn instead.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45What a noble, handsome man.

0:14:46 > 0:14:51Teacher number four, Mr McBain, has been a biology teacher for 12 years.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54He met his wife while studying biology at university.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58Apparently, she was attracted to his good "jeans".

0:14:58 > 0:15:01Good GENES, there we go!

0:15:01 > 0:15:04Good, he's got lovely genes.

0:15:04 > 0:15:08OK. Lucas's team, who looks most teacher-y out of the four? Susan?

0:15:08 > 0:15:12Number four looks like he should be in Mumford & Sons.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15- He looks like he is Mumford.- Yeah.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17To be a teacher, you have to have, like,

0:15:17 > 0:15:21- a really kind of determined voice to command the class.- Yeah.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Can I hear, like, each of you in turn say, "Sit up straight"?

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Number one, "Sit up straight", go.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Sit up straight.

0:15:28 > 0:15:29Number three.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Sit up straight.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Ooh-hoo-hoo.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35Oh, hello. Number two.

0:15:35 > 0:15:36Sit up straight.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Oh, yes.

0:15:38 > 0:15:39And number four.

0:15:39 > 0:15:40Sit up straight.

0:15:40 > 0:15:41Hmm, no. Oh, no.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44He's not commanding no respect like that.

0:15:44 > 0:15:45I thought he was going to go...

0:15:45 > 0:15:47MELODY: I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons

0:15:47 > 0:15:51# Sit up straight Sit up straight... #

0:15:51 > 0:15:52OK.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55- Liberty's team. First impressions? - I don't think it's four.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57Not many teachers have tattoos, to be fair.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01Also, with the beard, he looks a little bit like he could play

0:16:01 > 0:16:05one of the dwarfs in Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Do you know what?

0:16:07 > 0:16:11I'd love to see a mixture of number four's beard and Johnny's hair.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Go and pop your hair over his head.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Shall we try?- Yeah. You don't mind, do you, number four?

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Of course not.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21LAUGHTER

0:16:21 > 0:16:24- I like it. SUSAN:- Can I ask them a question?

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Yeah, go on. We'll get some questions in.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28I want you each to tell me

0:16:28 > 0:16:33what part of the magical world of the biology makes you most excited.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35- Number three? - Every part.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37LAUGHTER

0:16:37 > 0:16:41That's a man that's not over-the-moon he got asked first.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Number one?

0:16:43 > 0:16:44The worms.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46LAUGHTER

0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Number four? - Cutting stuff up.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51LAUGHTER

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Cutting stuff up?

0:16:54 > 0:16:55Number two?

0:16:55 > 0:16:57The part during the summer holidays.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00LAUGHTER

0:17:00 > 0:17:02She's honest if nothing else.

0:17:04 > 0:17:09Liberty's team. Questions for our suspected teachers.

0:17:09 > 0:17:13So, number one worked on Andy Murray's bunion, is that right?

0:17:13 > 0:17:17She was a physiotherapist and massaged Andy Murray's feet.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20- Well, I'm just assuming he had a bunion, then.- Let's find out.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23Did Andy Murray have warts or bunions?

0:17:23 > 0:17:24A small bunion.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26Oh!

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Andy Murray's got a small bunion!

0:17:29 > 0:17:31You heard it here first.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33- CHRIS:- I've got a question for number two, actually.- OK.

0:17:33 > 0:17:34What is fart breath?

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Oh, good question. Number two, what is fart breath?

0:17:37 > 0:17:41If you hold it in, think about where it's got to go.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43When you hold in farts for too long, they come out of your mouth.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Yep. Yep.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Right, OK, you've had your questions.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Let's make sure we pie the right one.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52Audience, who do you think it is? Shout after three. One, two, three!

0:17:52 > 0:17:55AUDIENCE SHOUT OUT NUMBERS

0:18:00 > 0:18:02OK.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05It looks like our audiences are at twos and threes.

0:18:05 > 0:18:10They think it's either two or three, but what do you guys think?

0:18:10 > 0:18:14Lucas, it's time for you to...

0:18:14 > 0:18:16- DEEP VOICE:- 'Pie the Supply.' - Come on, mate.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Not too hard, not too hard.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Oh...

0:18:22 > 0:18:24OOHING

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Oh!

0:18:37 > 0:18:39"Not too hard", that's what I said to you, Lucas.

0:18:39 > 0:18:40Remember when I said that?

0:18:42 > 0:18:46- OK. Liberty. SUSAN:- Not too hard, Liberty.

0:18:46 > 0:18:47Time for you to...

0:18:47 > 0:18:49- DEEP VOICE:- 'Pie the Supply.'

0:18:49 > 0:18:50OOHING

0:18:56 > 0:18:58That was hard, as well!

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Oh, my days!

0:19:01 > 0:19:05OK, let's get this over with quickly.

0:19:05 > 0:19:09Would the real supply teacher please step forward?

0:19:09 > 0:19:10No! APPLAUSE

0:19:17 > 0:19:19NO!

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Unfortunately, none of you got it right,

0:19:21 > 0:19:23but we've got one very smug teacher.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25On to the next round!

0:19:25 > 0:19:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:34 > 0:19:35Hello.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39Yes, time now for some drama studies in the game I like to call,

0:19:39 > 0:19:42because that's its name, Mime Craft.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45- DEEP VOICE:- 'Mime Craft.'

0:19:45 > 0:19:48This is a round where our two teams of celebrities have to go

0:19:48 > 0:19:50several minutes without talking.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52All they have to do is act out some activities

0:19:52 > 0:19:55and their teams have to guess what it is they are up to.

0:19:55 > 0:19:59So, Liberty, who do you want, Chris or Johnny?

0:19:59 > 0:20:01- Chris.- Chris.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Yonko, please make your way to the mime spot.

0:20:07 > 0:20:11OK, Liberty, your time starts when you flip over the first card.

0:20:11 > 0:20:12Take it away.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18- Juggling. - Yes!

0:20:20 > 0:20:21Wait, wait.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26IAIN IMITATES ENGINE WHIRRING

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Jet skiing.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30No.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33- Wa...- Oh!

0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Water skiing.- Yes!

0:20:38 > 0:20:41- Swimming.- Swimming.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43- Scuba diving?- Synchronised swimming.

0:20:43 > 0:20:44Yes.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Dance.- Tap dancing. - Yes.

0:20:53 > 0:20:54Zip lining.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56No.

0:20:56 > 0:20:57Back and forth.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59BELL RINGS

0:20:59 > 0:21:00Oh, it was a trapeze.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06OK, Lucas, you're up next, mate.

0:21:06 > 0:21:11Who do you want, Inel or Susan "The Mime" Calman?

0:21:11 > 0:21:13- Susan.- Yes!- Oh!

0:21:13 > 0:21:16OK, Susan Calman.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18Make your way to the mime spot.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21Lucas, your time starts when you flip over the first card.

0:21:21 > 0:21:25- Susan, are you ready to mime?- Yep. - OK, three, two, one, go for it.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27- Golf.- Golf. - Yes!

0:21:30 > 0:21:32American football.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38Get on my back.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Pass it, pass it.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48I've torn my muscles.

0:21:53 > 0:21:54- Hide and seek?- Yes!

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Bonus gold star.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04Holding your breath.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Pass.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12Ballet.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14BELL RINGS

0:22:14 > 0:22:16APPLAUSE

0:22:19 > 0:22:21You're OK, you're OK, you're OK.

0:22:21 > 0:22:24I thought you was on the toilet, Susan.

0:22:26 > 0:22:32- It was squash. Susan was doing squash.- That's how you play squash?

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Susan is not very good at squash.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38OK. At the end of that round,

0:22:38 > 0:22:41the gold star goes to Liberty's team!

0:22:41 > 0:22:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:48 > 0:22:51Geography now, guys. It's time for Globe Hoppers.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53- DEEP VOICE:- 'Globe Hoppers.'

0:22:53 > 0:22:55This is where I call out clues to different countries

0:22:55 > 0:22:56dotted around the world.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58A member of each team then has to grab the correct answer

0:22:58 > 0:23:03by bouncing around the Earth on one of these space hoppers.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06OOHING

0:23:06 > 0:23:07Yes, please.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11It's educational and it's stupid or, as we like to call it...

0:23:11 > 0:23:14stupiducational.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16It's a word what I made up with my mouth.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Rest assured, they will look stupid.

0:23:18 > 0:23:23- Lucas, who's going to play for your team?- Inel.- Inel.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25Liberty, who is going to play for your team?

0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Johnny. - Oh, it's a Johnny and Inel showdown!

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Guys, guys, guys, Johnny, Inel,

0:23:36 > 0:23:39once you were partners spreading mirth around the land.

0:23:39 > 0:23:44Now, you are at loggerheads with one another. How does it feel?

0:23:44 > 0:23:47It was always going to end up like this. Always.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50- This is the logical way, yeah.- OK.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52Your time starts when I ask the first question.

0:23:52 > 0:23:56If you're ready, three, two, one, let's go global!

0:23:56 > 0:24:00In which country would I use a sombrero to escape the sun?

0:24:02 > 0:24:04CROWD SHOUTS

0:24:12 > 0:24:14Mexico!

0:24:14 > 0:24:17- DEEP VOICE:- 'School disco.'

0:24:17 > 0:24:19School disco!

0:24:19 > 0:24:22MUSIC: I Really Like You by Carly Rae Jepsen

0:24:22 > 0:24:25# And I want you Do you want me?

0:24:25 > 0:24:26# Do you want me, too?

0:24:26 > 0:24:31# I really, really, really, really, really, really like you

0:24:31 > 0:24:33# And I want you Do you want me?

0:24:33 > 0:24:34# Do you want me too? #

0:24:34 > 0:24:35MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

0:24:35 > 0:24:38LAUGHTER

0:24:38 > 0:24:41Which country's capital city is New Delhi?

0:24:41 > 0:24:43CROWD SHOUTS

0:24:56 > 0:24:59India!

0:24:59 > 0:25:03The River Nile runs through which country?

0:25:03 > 0:25:04CROWD SHOUTS

0:25:04 > 0:25:07Come on, Johnny. Hop! Hop! Hop!

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Egypt!

0:25:22 > 0:25:25In which country would you find the Grand Canyon?

0:25:25 > 0:25:28CROWD SHOUTS

0:25:28 > 0:25:30USA! USA!

0:25:40 > 0:25:42USA!

0:25:42 > 0:25:43BELL RINGS

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Now...

0:25:49 > 0:25:53We have damaged the set. How do you guys feel?

0:25:53 > 0:25:56- Yeah...- Do you feel good, Inel?

0:25:58 > 0:25:59Johnny, do you feel great?

0:25:59 > 0:26:01It's pretty intense out there.

0:26:01 > 0:26:06I can tell you that Johnny and Inel, they went to battle,

0:26:06 > 0:26:08and the winner was...

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Liberty's team!

0:26:10 > 0:26:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:12 > 0:26:15Gold star, Johnny!

0:26:17 > 0:26:20Guys, guys.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22Guys, I don't know how to tell you this,

0:26:22 > 0:26:24that's us just about done for today.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27THEY GROAN

0:26:27 > 0:26:31All I've to do is add up the scores, so let's bring down the stars.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38So, the winners are...

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Lucas's team!

0:26:40 > 0:26:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:47 > 0:26:51Congratulations, Lucas's team. You can bask in glory.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53As for Liberty's team, the dog is going to eat your homework

0:26:53 > 0:26:56and you've got yourself detention with Mr Smash.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58Time to take the walk of shame.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00# La-la-la, la-la... #

0:27:00 > 0:27:01- ALL:- Losers!

0:27:01 > 0:27:02- # La-la-la, la-la... # - Losers!

0:27:02 > 0:27:04- # La-la-la, la-la... # - Losers!

0:27:04 > 0:27:06- # La-la-la, la-la... # - Losers!

0:27:06 > 0:27:09- # La-la-la, la-la... # - Losers!

0:27:09 > 0:27:10- # Losers. # - Losers!

0:27:10 > 0:27:13OK, so that's your lot. Hopefully catch you again soon.

0:27:13 > 0:27:19As ever, you know what? We didn't learn much. But it was fun trying.

0:27:19 > 0:27:20See you all next time on...

0:27:20 > 0:27:24The Dog Ate My Homework!

0:27:24 > 0:27:27Sees ya!

0:27:27 > 0:27:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE