0:00:09 > 0:00:11BELL RINGS
0:00:44 > 0:00:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Hello. Welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:00:51 > 0:00:55the school team panel show which is guaranteed to teach you
0:00:55 > 0:00:57absolutely nothing.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01First up, let's take the register and meet the teams.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04On my right is a real teacher's pet - I mean it,
0:01:04 > 0:01:07they kept him in a cage and fed him bird seed.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08It's Pavan, everyone.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Here, sir.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12And in Pavan's team, someone who gets an F
0:01:12 > 0:01:15in subtraction and addition tests cos they don't know the difference.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- It's Sam Fletcher.- Here, sir.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23And joining Pavan, an actress and vlogger who before the show
0:01:23 > 0:01:25proved that she can do her 12-times table.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Actually, she just said the word "table" 12 times.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31- But well done, you. It's Grace Mandeville.- Here, sir.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Pavan's team!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40And on my left, someone who never gets straight As,
0:01:40 > 0:01:44her Bs are a bit wonky and her Cs are all over the place, it's Maddie.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Here, sir!
0:01:46 > 0:01:49And in Maddie's team, a man with a face that, had it been carved
0:01:49 > 0:01:52in the woodwork class, I'd have given it an A+.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54- It's Tom Crane.- Here, sir.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59And joining them, a man with a terrifying screen presence,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- it's the daredevil himself - it's Dan Antopolski.- Here, sir!
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Give it up for Maddie's team, everyone.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Right, here's how the show works.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13I ask questions, the team answer those questions.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17It's not rocket science. It's The Dog Ate My Homework. Keep up.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20So, a correct answer wins you a gold star.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Whoo!
0:02:22 > 0:02:27And if you really impress me, then you may win a bonus star.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Whoo!
0:02:29 > 0:02:33But be warned, give me any cheek, me lassies and me laddies,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35and I will shoo them away.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Aww!
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Hey, before you report me to the Board of Education, remember,
0:02:39 > 0:02:41it's Ian's school, so it's...
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Ian's rules.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Yes, that is my catchphrase.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Helping to keep an eye on proceedings today,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51a man so thick, after 40 years as a PE teacher,
0:02:51 > 0:02:54he still doesn't know what the offside rule is.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56It's Mr Smash.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Boo!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03BUZZING
0:03:16 > 0:03:18BUZZING STOPS
0:03:19 > 0:03:22CUCKOO! CUCKOO!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Right, let's get on with the show.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Time now for Stick To The Point.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40'Stick To The Point.'
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Thank you, voice of the above.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44The game where I ask quickfire questions,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47and if you hesitate, repeat or just talk gibberish,
0:03:47 > 0:03:50I will put you in the shush position.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Can I please see everyone's shush position?
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Here are my shoes.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- No, shush.- Oh, shush. - Thank you, Antopolski.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01The winning team is the last team talking.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04But first, I need to get my stick of pointiness.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Whoo!
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Thank you. It's only a stick, guys, just calm down.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12The shirt's much nicer.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15It's the sort of thing the Queen uses to pick her nose, isn't it?
0:04:15 > 0:04:17This is what the Queen uses to pick her nose.
0:04:17 > 0:04:23"Oh, I hereby decree that I, the Queen, have a massive bogey."
0:04:24 > 0:04:26OK, it's time now for Stick To The Point.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I'm going to give you your first subject.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31If I point at you, you answer me, that is very, very simple.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Subject one is things you'd find in the school cafeteria.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37- Sam.- Chips.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- Tom.- Dinner lady.- Dan.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Someone dropping something and everybody going...whooah!
0:04:43 > 0:04:47- Pavan.- Knives and forks.- Maddie. - Mouldy peas.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- Mouldy peas? - Yeah, I don't know.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51It's mushy peas.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55- No.- They were mushy, and then they got mouldy.- Yeah, exactly.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Your school needs to up its game.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- Grace.- People.- People!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- Tom.- Long, boring queues.- Yes.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- Some.- Ketchup.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- Yes. Dan.- Mayonnaise.- Yes.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Pavan.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Shush position!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- Maddie.- Hairnet.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Yeah, good. Grace.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17- Water.- Yes.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21So, in your dinner table there is water and people.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25- It was a really exciting school. - You're just describing earth. Tom.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26A hair in my custard.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31- I did find that once. And I swallowed it.- Swallowed it?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Yeah, I couldn't stop coughing all day, and people were saying...
0:05:34 > 0:05:37I assume it was a human hair, I hope it was, but...
0:05:37 > 0:05:39I know, ugh, custard!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- Sam.- Custard.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Maddie.- Um...
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Hesitation. Get in the shush position.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Grace.- Surface.- Surface?
0:05:48 > 0:05:52- Yeah, like where you cut stuff on. - Stop being so vague!
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Dan.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Shush position.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Sam.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Shush position.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01It's between Grace and Tom.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- Tom.- Father Christmas.- No.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08- Why?- I panicked.- Father Christmas?!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Well, at Christmas, maybe, the dinner lady might dress up.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Father Christmas doesn't go to the school cafeteria.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- The last week just before Christmas. - Right, shush position.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18The points in that round go to Pavan's team.
0:06:21 > 0:06:27All right, guys. Subject number two - noises animals make.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28- Sam.- Moo.
0:06:28 > 0:06:33- Tom.- Meow.- A very posh cat.- Meow.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- Grace.- Woof-woof. A dog!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- Do it properly.- Woof-woof!
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- That's why I didn't do it properly. - Damn.- Raarrrh!
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Lion.- Pavan.- Bukk-bukk! Bukk!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Bkk-bkk?- A chicken.- A chicken doesn't say the word "buck".
0:06:52 > 0:06:54"Hello, I'm a chicken, buck."
0:06:55 > 0:06:57I'll give you that.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58- Maddie.- Quack.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02Yeah. That's an echo. Sam.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04HE SQUEAKS
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Someone rubbing a balloon?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09What, a pig farting?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Dolphin?- A dolphin.- Tom.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19No, that's the sound of a worm. Completely silent.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I'll give you that. Very good.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Grace.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27SHE TRUMPETS
0:07:27 > 0:07:29A woman that's scared of her own arm?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- An elephant, come on, come on! - I'll give you that. Tom.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34HE GIBBERS
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- A monkey?- No, it's another worm, I'm just not very good at impressions.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I'll give you that. Dan.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41HE HISSES Yes. Sam.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Shush position. Maddie.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46SHE SNORTS
0:07:46 > 0:07:49That's my dad sleeping. Pavan.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Shush position. OK, Dan.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- Cock-a-doodle-doo!- Grace.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Shush position.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59The points go to Maddie's team in that round.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Next is people with dangerous jobs.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09People with dangerous jobs. Maddie.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10- Firefighter.- Yes.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- Grace.- You.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- Thank you. Tom.- Boxer.- Yes.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- Pavan.- A policeman.- Yes.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Dan.- Stuntman.- Yes. Sam.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I was going to say stuntman. Give me a chance, um...
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Shush position.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29This is a dangerous game. Tom.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31- Racing driver.- Grace.- Lifeguard.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- Maddie.- Bungee jumping professional.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37A bungee jumping unprofessional is much more dangerous.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40If you're not trained and you're bungee jumping, that is pretty bad.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Grace.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43Shush position.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46It's Pavan. It's three on one, mate. Here we go. Tom.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Lion tamer.- Pavan.- Zookeeper.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Maddie.- RSPCA dog trainer.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55- I don't know. - Get in the shush position.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Pavan.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Shush position. The points go to Maddie's team there.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03BELL RINGS
0:09:03 > 0:09:09That is the end of that round. And the gold stars go to Maddie's team.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Time now for Who Do You Think You Are?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Not to be confused with the TV show of exactly the same name.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26I mean, honestly, guys, what were you thinking? Ridiculous.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Sorry. I'll ask each team captain to choose someone
0:09:29 > 0:09:33to pop their head in our very own Hole of Fame.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35'The Hole of Fame.'
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Actually, it's just a hole,
0:09:36 > 0:09:39but we'll project the body of a better-looking...
0:09:39 > 0:09:43Sorry, better-known celebrity onto the screen
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and they have to guess who they are by asking yes/no questions.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49The team that asks the fewest questions wins the game.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Today's subjects are taken from the world of sport.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Pavan, your team will be going first,
0:09:54 > 0:09:58so, Sam, can you please assume the position in the Hole of Fame?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01'The Hole of Fame.'
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Pop your head through there, mate.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Look at that. Right in.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10OK, Sam, it's time to make you famous.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17OK, Sam, can you look to your left
0:10:17 > 0:10:20a little bit and up a tiny bit.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22And just could you look victorious?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Look victorious.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26There we go.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32- Lovely stuff. Lovely, lovely stuff.- Yes!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Say something victorious.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- I did it!- You did. - I did it!- You did.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40OK, Sam, you've got to ask yes/no questions to your team
0:10:40 > 0:10:44and work out who you think you are. Off you go.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47So, I'm a famous sporting celebrity?
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Yes.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Am I famous for...?
0:10:50 > 0:10:52How about you go with
0:10:52 > 0:10:54things like gender to begin with?
0:10:54 > 0:10:58Oh, yeah, thank you. Am I a man?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- What a good question.- Yes.- OK.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Am I a young man?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- Sort of.- Sort of. Am I...?
0:11:05 > 0:11:10Oh, do I...do football?
0:11:10 > 0:11:11- No.- No.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14- Do I do athletics?- Yes.- Yes.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16You compete in athletics, yes, Sam.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Yes, compete in it.- Just pick any other verb, really. You'll be fine.
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Do I do running?
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- Yes.- Yes. Come on. - I think I may...
0:11:25 > 0:11:26You can ask.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30Am I doing the old Bolt movement here?
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Is that what it's called?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33We can pretend.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36The catchphrase he calls "the old Bolt movement",
0:11:36 > 0:11:38that's what he calls it?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40I am Usain Bolt.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Yeah!
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- Well done.- 'School disco.'
0:11:46 > 0:11:48School disco!
0:11:48 > 0:11:49# Hey, I just met you
0:11:49 > 0:11:51# And this is crazy
0:11:51 > 0:11:52# But here's my number
0:11:52 > 0:11:54# So call me maybe
0:11:54 > 0:11:57# And all the boys
0:11:57 > 0:11:59# Try to chase me
0:11:59 > 0:12:01# But here's my number
0:12:01 > 0:12:03# So call me maybe
0:12:03 > 0:12:05# Before you came... #
0:12:05 > 0:12:07MUSIC STOPS
0:12:07 > 0:12:09OK, it's now time for Maddie's team.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Tom, you're up.
0:12:11 > 0:12:16So please assume the position in the Hole of Fame.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18'The Hole of Fame.'
0:12:19 > 0:12:22All right, stick your head in, let's see what you look like.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Hello, guys.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25How do you feel?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Undignified.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33Right, Tom, it's time to make you famous.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38There we go.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Tom, could you just sort of strain a bit,
0:12:40 > 0:12:46really strain. Just do the face. That's good. OK, Tom,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49you can ask some yes/no questions, try and work out who you are.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51OK, am I a boy?
0:12:51 > 0:12:52- You are a boy.- Yeah.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- Right...- Are you OK? You feel like you're struggling.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- You told me to pull a funny face. - You're still doing it?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Yes. I don't normally look like that all the time.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03What would you look like if you were jumping?
0:13:06 > 0:13:08If you were mid-jump, in a still.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- It's quite hard to do that. - That's it.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Something to do with jumping?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- Not necessarily jumping. - Not necessarily jumping, OK.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Is there a ball involved? - Yes, there is.- Yeah.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- There is a ball, OK. - Jumping might be useful.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- So I hit the ball with something. - Yeah.- Yeah.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28- So, am I a golfer?- No.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- No.- A golfereeno?- No.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33I'm really tired, I'm just go to have some juice. Juice.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Ah, juice.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Um, juice... Oh, tennis.- Yes.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Am I a tennisereeno?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- You're a tennisereeno, you are. - I'm a tennisereeno?
0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Yeah.- Brilliant, OK.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47So, I am going to go... Oh, I know who I must be.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Am I Scottish?- Yes.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Well, it's one of the Murrays.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- So it's probably Andy Murray.- Yeah!
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Yeah!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Good effort from both teams.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04But I'm going to have to give the gold star
0:14:04 > 0:14:06to Maddie's team, everyone.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08CHEERING
0:14:12 > 0:14:15We all think that teachers are goody-two-shoes, but there are
0:14:15 > 0:14:17several members of staff pulling a sickie today,
0:14:17 > 0:14:21and I want you guys to help find me a supply teacher.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22But there's a catch.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25The teams are going to interview several candidates, all claiming
0:14:25 > 0:14:29to be a proper prof, but only one of them is telling the truth.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31The others are impostors.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36It's our team's job to identify and pie the real teachers.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40All our pies are made by trained experts.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43A-tchoo!
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Mmm!
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Mmm! Mmm!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I'm all right, thanks, mate, you're fine.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54OK, guys, let's meet the teachers.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59BOOING
0:15:01 > 0:15:06OK, today's substitute teachers are all allegedly drama teachers,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08but who's playing us for fools?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12OK, let's meet the teachers. First up, it's Mrs MacKay.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Mrs MacKay is a retired teacher who taught drama for 36 years.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18She loves the fact that everyone can do drama.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Embarrassingly, she once went to school with two odd shoes on.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23What's she like?! LAUGHTER
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Mrs Dalton has been a drama teacher for 12 years.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Her favourite thing about teaching drama
0:15:28 > 0:15:31is watching kids bring words to life.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Bit weird.
0:15:32 > 0:15:37In her spare time, she plays drums in a heavy-metal band.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38I'm sure you do(!)
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Mr Akram has been a drama teacher for just over a year.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47His favourite thing about teaching is giving children confidence.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50His most embarrassing moment is when a lead actress in his play
0:15:50 > 0:15:52fell ill on the opening night
0:15:52 > 0:15:56and he had to wear her outfit to play the part.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Mrs Wilson has been a drama teacher for nine years.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Her favourite thing about teaching drama
0:16:00 > 0:16:02is getting to perform every day.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Her most embarrassing story
0:16:04 > 0:16:07was when she tripped on stage in the middle of a performance
0:16:07 > 0:16:10and had to dance off again in front of a full house.
0:16:10 > 0:16:15OK, so you guys have to work out who is the genuine-y supply teacher.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Maddie's team - who's got the look of a teacher about them?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Ugh. Who do you like least?
0:16:20 > 0:16:23They all look sort of tired and resentful. It's hard to say.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25LAUGHTER
0:16:25 > 0:16:26They all look tired and miserable!
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Yeah, that dead-eyed stare. That's what you're looking for.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31What do you think, Maddie? You're still at school.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35- Has anyone got an aura of teacher about them?- Mrs Dalton, I think.
0:16:35 > 0:16:40- Why Mrs Dalton?- I don't know. She has a very sleek sort of, like...
0:16:40 > 0:16:44Short hair, black and it's all very organised.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Very organised.- They all look like teachers, I must say.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49They all have that aura of a teacher about them.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Pavan's team. What are you thinking? Have a look at them.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Well, Pavan has got a good technique, haven't you?
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- He wants to ask them all a question each.- Oh, OK.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Are any of you supply teachers?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01They all nodded, apart from Mrs MacKay.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05So either she's very cunning or doesn't understand the game.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08- We don't know.- I've got a question, I think.- On you go, Thomas.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10For Mrs Wilson on the end. OK?
0:17:10 > 0:17:14If you're a drama teacher, let's see your best impression of a frog.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16LAUGHTER
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Here we go.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18SHE BREATHES DEEPLY
0:17:18 > 0:17:19LAUGHTER
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Ribbit.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- Oh, my days!- Very good.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Could we see Mr Akram do the same thing?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- Yes!- Yeah.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31He seems delighted about this.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit!- Oh!
0:17:33 > 0:17:37APPLAUSE
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Pavan's team, any questions for anyone?
0:17:39 > 0:17:44Mrs MacKay, do your best impression of an elephant.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45What-What is this?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47LAUGHTER
0:17:47 > 0:17:50This is obviously what people assume drama teachers do all day!
0:17:50 > 0:17:51Sadly, yeah.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Oh, no...
0:17:56 > 0:17:58You look like a zombie!
0:17:58 > 0:17:59LAUGHTER
0:17:59 > 0:18:01A zombie elephant!
0:18:01 > 0:18:02APPLAUSE
0:18:02 > 0:18:04I hate to be a stickler for the rules here,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06but does anyone want to ask the guys any questions
0:18:06 > 0:18:09that are maybe, I don't know, drama-teacher related?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Yeah, a drama teacher should be able to sing, do you think?- Oh, yeah.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14So join in with this.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16# Awimbawe, awimbawe, awimbawe... #
0:18:16 > 0:18:17- ALL JOIN IN:- # Awimbawe, awimbawe
0:18:17 > 0:18:20# In the jungle, the mighty jungle
0:18:20 > 0:18:22# The lion sleeps tonight
0:18:22 > 0:18:26# In the jungle, the mighty jungle
0:18:26 > 0:18:28# The lion sleeps tonight... #
0:18:28 > 0:18:32Right, well, that's helping absolutely no way whatsoever.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35All right, audience. You've heard the questions,
0:18:35 > 0:18:37but who do you think the real teacher is?
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Shout out now.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43AUDIENCE SHOUTS ANSWERS
0:18:45 > 0:18:48All right, we've heard what the audience have got to say.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50So it's time now to Pie The Supply.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52'Pie The Supply.'
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Maddie, you're up first.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58So please select your teacher and get your pie. Here we go.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Off you go.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Who's it going to be?
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Ohhhhhhh....
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Ahhhh!
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Mrs Wilson's got all pie in her face and that now!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Pavan, you're up next, mate,
0:19:19 > 0:19:22so please come over here and Pie The Supply.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24'Pie The Supply.'
0:19:26 > 0:19:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Oh, he slammed it!
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Oh, my goodness.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Are you all right? Are you all right, Mr Akram?
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Calm down. It's your own time you're wasting.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Now it's time to reveal the answer.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53So would the real supply teacher please step forward?
0:19:55 > 0:19:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Neither of you got the answer right,
0:20:01 > 0:20:04so, sadly, neither of you get a gold star.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05- AUDIENCE:- Aww!
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Ladies and gentlemen, she's got away with it.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Please give it up for Mrs MacKay!
0:20:09 > 0:20:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Time for Smarty Pants...
0:20:20 > 0:20:22'Smarty Pants.'
0:20:22 > 0:20:24..where we find out who's the brainiest
0:20:24 > 0:20:27by making them wear a massive pair of underscants.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30And who says the BBC is dumbing down?
0:20:30 > 0:20:31I do!
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Here are the pants, here.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Whoa!
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Joking, they're not attached.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Our teams answer the maths questions by filling said pants -
0:20:39 > 0:20:40ain't they lovely? -
0:20:40 > 0:20:43with the right amount of coloured sponge foam things,
0:20:43 > 0:20:46to use the technical term. And the first person to finish
0:20:46 > 0:20:48with the correct number of sponge foam things -
0:20:48 > 0:20:51again, the technical term - in their tube wins.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55So, captains, who's your master of maths?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Or, as they say in America...
0:20:57 > 0:21:00AMERICAN ACCENT: "Hey, buddy, who's your master of math?"
0:21:00 > 0:21:02It's got an S in it, America. It's got an S in it.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07All right, Pavan, who was the brainiest out of Grace and Sam?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- No offence, but it has to be Sam. - Oh, is it because of the glasses?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- It's the glasses, isn't it? - Yeah, it's the glasses.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Are you clever, or are you lying to us through the opticians?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Er, yeah, the second one. Yeah, I'm terrible at maths.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- How about wearing massive pants? - I'm really good at that!
0:21:22 > 0:21:24There you go. 50%.
0:21:24 > 0:21:29And Maddie? Out of Dan and Tom? Who is the brainiest one?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32- I think it's the Tomster. - It's Tom, it's Tom.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Dan, are you saying Tom because you think he's brainy,
0:21:35 > 0:21:38or because you don't want to run around in massive pants?
0:21:38 > 0:21:39- Huh?- Guilty face!
0:21:39 > 0:21:41LAUGHTER
0:21:41 > 0:21:43"What say you?"
0:21:43 > 0:21:47- Tom, how's your maths? - It's not too bad.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49How's your wearing massive pants?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Just brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Well, you're in luck, cos I've got two pairs.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Right, guys, come over here and get your pants.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Very fetching.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05OK, guys, get those on and let's play Smarty Pants!
0:22:05 > 0:22:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:11 > 0:22:16Wow, that was a quick change, guys. You're looking very swanky.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18How are you enjoying wearing big pants?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I'm never going to leave these big pants. This is my new look.
0:22:20 > 0:22:25- What about you, Sam?- As long as I've got my dignity, I'm fine.- Nice one.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26- Guys, do you understand the rules? - Yes.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29OK, your time starts when I ask the first question.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30And my first question is...
0:22:30 > 0:22:35how many countries border Spain in Europe? Go!
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- Two, two, two.- Two, two!
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- EVERYONE SHOUTS:- Two! Two!
0:22:40 > 0:22:41- SAM:- Argh! He's got me leg!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43They're cheats!
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Block his way, Tom. Block his way. - In your pants, get back through.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Hurry, hurry, hurry!
0:22:49 > 0:22:50Oh...
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Come on!
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Hit that buzzer, hit that buzzer!
0:22:56 > 0:22:57BUZZER
0:22:57 > 0:23:01Next question - which Apollo successfully landed on the moon?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05EVERYONE SHOUTS ANSWERS
0:23:05 > 0:23:0812! 12!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Go on, Tom.- Three, four.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Get them really stuffed in there.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Use the bum area for extra space!
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Get them really stuffed down.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Go on, you've got it!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26And back through, come on!
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Go!
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- Do not let him get in that tube first!- Come on, get in that tube!
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- Come on, Tom!- Empty them out! Empty them out!
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Tom has completely lost his pants at this stage.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48- That's it! - BUZZER
0:23:48 > 0:23:52- The number of sides on a pentagon. - Five, five, five!
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Tom has got some catching up to do.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57What are you doing?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00He's stopping for a breather.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02A pentagon, a pentagon.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- Three, three!- What are you doing?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06A pentagon, how many is it?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Utilise your bottoms!
0:24:11 > 0:24:16Get them in your underscants. Into your underscants, into the tube.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Two hands, go, go!
0:24:17 > 0:24:19What was the question?
0:24:19 > 0:24:20BUZZER
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Pi begins with what digit? Tom's already on.
0:24:24 > 0:24:25Pi begins with what digit?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- Three, three, three.- Three!
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- What are you doing?!- Come on, Tom.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I don't know, who is it going to be?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Yay!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40BELL RINGS
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Wait. Why is there...? Is there a shoe?- Tom is a bit...
0:24:43 > 0:24:47- I'm going to come over and speak to you. How do you feel?- Exhausted.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Why do you have a shoe in there?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Cos I dropped one on the way and I thought it might count.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53IAIN LAUGHS
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Do you want to include this in the number?
0:24:54 > 0:24:56- If that can be... That's one of these.- OK.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58So you're first, but you have to make sure
0:24:58 > 0:24:59you have the right answers.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02The questions were, how many countries border Spain in Europe?
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Four. Which Apollo successfully landed on the moon?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- 13.- 11.- 11. That's the one.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- How many sides on a pentagon? - Five.- Five.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- And pi begins with what digit? Three.- Three!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14OK, so that comes to 23.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16- Yep.- So here we go.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19- ALL COUNT:- One, two, three, four, five...
0:25:21 > 0:25:24..20. 21!
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Yeah!
0:25:25 > 0:25:29- It's 23. How bad is your maths? - Oh! I got that wrong, as well!
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Right, well that means Sam's still in the game.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Sam, if you have 23, you get the gold star for your team.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38- How are you feeling? - Oh, pants, mate.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40- Going to give you a wedgie. Whoop! - Hey!
0:25:40 > 0:25:42OK, here we go. 23. Here we go.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- ALL COUNT:- One, two, three, four, five...
0:25:47 > 0:25:52..18, 19, 20, 21!
0:25:52 > 0:25:57Oh, no! Guys, sadly, you're both equally bad.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00I know, so I can't give either of you the gold star.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Iain, you should get the gold star cos you're so smart.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- In that case, the points go to Pavan's team.- Yes!- Yeah!
0:26:07 > 0:26:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:13 > 0:26:15And that, people, is the end of the show.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19So now let's tot up the stars.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25So today's winners are Maddie's team!
0:26:25 > 0:26:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Well done to you, you are triumphant and get to hand in your homework.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36But, Pavan's team, your homework is going to be eaten by the dog,
0:26:36 > 0:26:39so off to detention with you.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40# Lalala-lalala
0:26:40 > 0:26:41# Losers!
0:26:41 > 0:26:42# Lalala-lalala
0:26:42 > 0:26:43# Losers!
0:26:43 > 0:26:44# Lalala-lalala
0:26:44 > 0:26:45# Losers!
0:26:45 > 0:26:46# Lalala-lalala
0:26:46 > 0:26:47# Losers!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49# Lalala-lalala
0:26:49 > 0:26:50# Losers!
0:26:50 > 0:26:51# Losers. #
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Well, guys, that's all we have time for.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56As always, we didn't learn much, but it was fun trying.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58See you all next time on...
0:26:58 > 0:27:02- ALL:- THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK!
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Sees ya!
0:27:04 > 0:27:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:35 > 0:27:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE