Episode 12

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04CHEERING

0:00:08 > 0:00:09DOG PANTING

0:00:09 > 0:00:11SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:00:39 > 0:00:42CHEERING

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Hello, everyone, and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,

0:00:53 > 0:00:56the panel show where we add some guests, multiply it by games,

0:00:56 > 0:00:59subtract the boring bits, and the answer is...

0:01:00 > 0:01:02ELECTRONIC BEEPING

0:01:02 > 0:01:04LAUGHTER

0:01:04 > 0:01:06..a whole heap of fun.

0:01:06 > 0:01:10First up, it's time to take the register and to meet our classmates.

0:01:10 > 0:01:14On the right is a young man whose interests include marshmallows,

0:01:14 > 0:01:18chocolates and biscuit, so he's already on a rocky road.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20- It's Callum!- Yes, sir!

0:01:20 > 0:01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:22 > 0:01:25And joining Callum is someone who's a wizard in the kitchen,

0:01:25 > 0:01:27although if he spent less time dressing like a wizard

0:01:27 > 0:01:30and more time cooking, he'd probably do a lot better.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33- It's Mawaan Rizwan, everyone! - All right, sir.

0:01:33 > 0:01:34CHEERING

0:01:34 > 0:01:37And on Callum's team, finally, someone who loves fractions

0:01:37 > 0:01:40so much we're only paying her half of her fee.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- It's Ellie Taylor.- Yes, sir!

0:01:43 > 0:01:46Give it up for Callum's team, everyone.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49APPLAUSE

0:01:49 > 0:01:53And to my left, a young lady who always obeys the rules of no

0:01:53 > 0:01:56running in school, which is why she comes last on sports day.

0:01:56 > 0:01:57- It's Caitlin!- Yes, sir!

0:01:57 > 0:01:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:59 > 0:02:00And in Caitlin's team,

0:02:00 > 0:02:03a man who went to school made entirely of ice cream.

0:02:03 > 0:02:07It was a sundae school. Stop it. It's Marlon Davis.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Present, sir!

0:02:09 > 0:02:12And finally, someone who always misses the morning bell

0:02:12 > 0:02:16because he was told it's never too late to learn. It's Sam Fletcher!

0:02:16 > 0:02:20- Here, sir.- Give it up for Caitlin's team, everyone.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22APPLAUSE

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Also, Callum, I can't help noticing you've got

0:02:25 > 0:02:27a Dog Ate My Homework T-shirt.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!

0:02:29 > 0:02:30Because... This is true.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Ellie, you were a model back in the day, weren't you?

0:02:33 > 0:02:37Iain, I can't believe you've brought it up, but, yes, I was.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39- Should we do a little catwalk? - We're going to have to, aren't we?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42- Yeah, we are.- Everyone, give them a round of applause.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:44 > 0:02:46So, what you need to do if you're on a catwalk,

0:02:46 > 0:02:49you have to imagine there's an imaginary line on the floor

0:02:49 > 0:02:52and you have to just walk, both feet on that line.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56And then you have to look straight ahead. Own it, Callum, own it.

0:02:56 > 0:02:57And then when you get to the end,

0:02:57 > 0:03:01we look at the camera like we love it, but also we hate it.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- And then you... - LAUGHTER

0:03:04 > 0:03:06And then whip the head. And back.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

0:03:12 > 0:03:14Yes, this is a panel show all about school,

0:03:14 > 0:03:16and a big part of school was clubs.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20Was anyone in any school clubs at school? Caitlin, yes?

0:03:20 > 0:03:21Well, I went to the badminton club,

0:03:21 > 0:03:24and no offence to the person who taught that, it was probably

0:03:24 > 0:03:27one of the worst places I have ever been in my life.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29I love that thing when you say, "No offence to the person,"

0:03:29 > 0:03:32and then are just incredibly offensive to that person.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36"No offence, mate, but you stink." Anyone else?

0:03:36 > 0:03:39When I was at school, it was chess club or chess club.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41- And I went to chess club. - LAUGHTER

0:03:41 > 0:03:44I was there for two years, I went nearly every day,

0:03:44 > 0:03:48- and I still don't know how to play chess.- Sir?- Yes.- I was in a choir.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50- Really?- Yeah.

0:03:50 > 0:03:51IAIN LAUGHS

0:03:51 > 0:03:54I was in a choir until my voice dropped.

0:03:54 > 0:03:55LAUGHTER

0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Wait, this is your voice dropped? - My voice has dropped.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00What did you sound like before it dropped?

0:04:00 > 0:04:02HE SINGS A HIGH NOTE

0:04:02 > 0:04:04IAIN LAUGHS

0:04:04 > 0:04:05Like an angel, Marlon.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08APPLAUSE

0:04:08 > 0:04:12OK. How about we all just get on with the show?!

0:04:12 > 0:04:14CHEERING

0:04:16 > 0:04:18OK, guys, here's how the show works.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Our teams have a number of rounds in which to win as many

0:04:21 > 0:04:23stars as possible.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26And in case you're wondering, here is what the stars look like.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Aw!

0:04:30 > 0:04:34It actually looks weirdly like Sam Fletcher.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Look down camera two. Hair off.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Hair on. LAUGHTER

0:04:39 > 0:04:43Hair off. Hair on. All right, I'm only joking.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Actually, the stars look a little bit like this.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48TWINKLING

0:04:48 > 0:04:49- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Yes, but that's not all.

0:04:51 > 0:04:56If you make me chuckle or cheer, then I'll drop you a bonus star.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!

0:04:58 > 0:05:00And in fact, do you know what, Callum?

0:05:00 > 0:05:03For your catwalk earlier, I'm going to give you one right now.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Bonus star for Callum, everyone. Right away.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07CHEERING

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Good work.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12But don't twist my lemons, or I'll turn sour

0:05:12 > 0:05:15and just take them away.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16- AUDIENCE:- Aw!

0:05:16 > 0:05:19Hey, before you start grumbling, remember, it's Iain's school,

0:05:19 > 0:05:22- so it's... ALL:- Iain's rules!- Yes.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25At the end of the show, the team with the most stars wins,

0:05:25 > 0:05:30and the losers get to spend quality time with this guy.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32You all right, Mr Smash?

0:05:32 > 0:05:33HE GRUNTS

0:05:33 > 0:05:36What are you doing, mate? A jigsaw?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38HE GRUNTS Let's have a little look.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40HE LAUGHS

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Oh! No!

0:05:45 > 0:05:48HE YELLS

0:05:52 > 0:05:54I was only asking.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57OK, time for Round One!

0:05:57 > 0:06:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:06:02 > 0:06:06OK, it is time now for English round, it is The Last Word.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09- 'The Last Word.'- Ho-ho!

0:06:09 > 0:06:12I'll ask both teams a series of questions.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14I want the answer to the previous question,

0:06:14 > 0:06:18not the answer to the question I've just asked.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Do you understand? Ellie?

0:06:20 > 0:06:24- No.- You clearly don't because you're not meant to answer that question.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28- Ah!- The team that messes up the least will get a gold star.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Do we understand this? Of course we don't, who cares?

0:06:31 > 0:06:36Let's do this. OK, first question for Callum.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38What superhero dresses like a bat?

0:06:39 > 0:06:40Oh, very well done.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42Mawaan, you brush or teeth with a...?

0:06:42 > 0:06:45- A Batman.- You do.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Marlon, London is the capital of...?

0:06:47 > 0:06:49- Toothbrush.- Yes.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Ellie, what is the opposite of up?

0:06:51 > 0:06:53- The UK.- Correct.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56Caitlin, which Pixar film has talking dogs

0:06:56 > 0:06:58and a house that floats using balloons?

0:06:58 > 0:07:00- Down.- Correct.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Sam, what natural satellite can you see at night?

0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Up.- Yes.

0:07:05 > 0:07:09Ellie, finish the title, Harry Potter And The Chamber Of...

0:07:09 > 0:07:10Venus.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Incorrect. Marlon, the milkman delivers...?

0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Planet. - LAUGHTER

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Ellie, what would you find with a leprechaun

0:07:18 > 0:07:20at the end of the rainbow?

0:07:20 > 0:07:21- Milk.- Correct.

0:07:21 > 0:07:25Ellie, in Wolfblood, Bobby Lockwood turns into...?

0:07:25 > 0:07:26Oh, you tricker.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28LAUGHTER

0:07:28 > 0:07:30I can't remember what it was!

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Callum is going to punch you.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34- A werewolf.- Werewolf.

0:07:34 > 0:07:35No, incorrect.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40I think the next answer might be quite easy.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43The Cookie Monster loves, Sam?

0:07:43 > 0:07:44He just said it!

0:07:44 > 0:07:48Sorry, I was thinking about something else.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51Mawaan, a takeaway by the sea might serve fish and...?

0:07:51 > 0:07:55- I'm not... I wasn't listening. - Incorrect!

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Marlon, fishermen love catching...?

0:07:58 > 0:07:59Seas.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00LAUGHTER

0:08:00 > 0:08:02We've lost it, we've completely lost it.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Caitlin, NASA's famous saying goes, "Houston, we have a..."?

0:08:06 > 0:08:09- Chips.- No!

0:08:09 > 0:08:13- You're two behind now.- No. - Sam, spell "lava".

0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Oh, I can spell "lava".- No, that's not the point of the game!

0:08:17 > 0:08:19It is so easy, but I want to... Er...

0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Fish. No.- No!

0:08:21 > 0:08:23- Planet.- No!

0:08:23 > 0:08:25That's about five questions ago!

0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Werewolf.- Werewolf.- No!

0:08:27 > 0:08:30Right, this guy knows how to play this game.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Callum, what's David Beckham's first name?

0:08:33 > 0:08:35- Problem.- It's "lava"!

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Spell "lava"!

0:08:39 > 0:08:41What's David Beckham's first name?

0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Next question.- OK.

0:08:44 > 0:08:49- Ellie Taylor...- Yes! - ..what noise do sheep make?

0:08:49 > 0:08:51- David.- Yes!

0:08:51 > 0:08:53CHEERING

0:08:56 > 0:08:59Caitlin, what would a ghost say to make you jump?

0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Baaa!- Yes!

0:09:02 > 0:09:06Marlon, what letter comes after S in the alphabet?

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Boo!- Yes.

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Sam, what do pirates say?

0:09:10 > 0:09:12L-A-V-A.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14That's ages ago!

0:09:14 > 0:09:19That is literally age... Look, there's the answers! Read them!

0:09:19 > 0:09:22Iain, that is how you spell "lava", I'm sorry.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25- MAWAAN:- I'm going to have to stand up for Sam. That was quite correct.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27- Thank you.- Callum, spell "star".

0:09:27 > 0:09:29HE MAKES HIGH-PITCHED NOISE

0:09:29 > 0:09:30Buda...

0:09:30 > 0:09:33"Bu-da"?! "Bu-da"?! LAUGHTER

0:09:33 > 0:09:36This round has turned from getting the answer right to just

0:09:36 > 0:09:40screaming at one another. So you got "spell star" wrong.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43Sam, what do you wear on your feet?

0:09:43 > 0:09:46S-T-A-R.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Correct! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:48 > 0:09:52Mawaan, you can't teach dogs new...?

0:09:52 > 0:09:54- New shoes.- Yes.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Ellie, lights, camera...?

0:09:56 > 0:10:01- Tricks.- Correct. Marlon, 1D are also known as...?

0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Boo. - BUZZER, LAUGHTER

0:10:03 > 0:10:07I'm going to give you a bonus star because that is true.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Barack Obama is known for, Caitlin?

0:10:09 > 0:10:11- One Direction.- He is, famously.

0:10:11 > 0:10:16He replaced Zayn Malik. Ellie, actions speak louder than...?

0:10:16 > 0:10:18- The American President.- Correct.

0:10:18 > 0:10:22- And, Sam, what do you keep in your wallet?- Words.- Correct.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24SCHOOL BELL RINGS That is the end of the round.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26CHEERING

0:10:28 > 0:10:33Well, guys, I can reveal, amazingly, at the end of that round

0:10:33 > 0:10:37you both got the same amount wrong and neither of you get a gold star.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40- AUDIENCE:- Aw! - But well done for trying.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:10:45 > 0:10:49It's time now for a bit of drama. It's time for Mime Craft.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52- 'Mime Craft.'- Oh, hello.

0:10:52 > 0:10:56Now, obviously, I'm a trained mime artist. As you can see.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00SLURPING

0:11:00 > 0:11:01GLASS BREAKS

0:11:01 > 0:11:02CAT MEOWS

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Sorry about that. But can our teams do better?

0:11:05 > 0:11:09One member of each team will have one minute to act out as many

0:11:09 > 0:11:11sporting activities as they can.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15All their team-mates have to do is guess what it is they are miming.

0:11:15 > 0:11:19So, Callum, you can go first, mate. I think...

0:11:19 > 0:11:22I think you might have do stand up for this bit. There we go.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26Callum, who do you want to not speak for the next minute?

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Well, it was a very hard decision.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33- But I think Ellie.- Thanks.

0:11:33 > 0:11:37Mawaan, as a performer, what do you spend a lot of your time doing?

0:11:37 > 0:11:40I just did a show in Edinburgh which was all mime.

0:11:40 > 0:11:41LAUGHTER

0:11:41 > 0:11:44- Which I didn't know. - I think Callum read the reviews.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47- Fair enough.- I went.- Touche, Callum.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51OK, Ellie, please make your way to the mime spot.

0:11:51 > 0:11:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:54 > 0:11:57OK, it is time to mime. Your minute starts

0:11:57 > 0:11:59when they flip over the first mime.

0:11:59 > 0:12:00Three, two, one, here we go.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02KLAXON

0:12:02 > 0:12:04- Football.- Football.- Yes.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08- Volleyball.- Yes. Volleyball.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13Golf.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16Hockey. Ice hockey.

0:12:16 > 0:12:17Yes.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22What's that?! Curling you hair?

0:12:22 > 0:12:24- Oh.- Curling.- Yes!

0:12:24 > 0:12:28- What's curling? - What's curling?! Get out.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Ghosts.- Ghosts.- Rock climbing.

0:12:30 > 0:12:35- Rock climbing.- Yes!- Yes. The famous sport of ghosts.- Golf.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- You're in the club.- Snooker.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42- Slow dance.- Snooker?!- Pool. Pool.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44- Billiards.- Scrabble.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49- Snakes & Ladders.- Come on! - You really should know this.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51- What?- You started talking.- Mime?

0:12:56 > 0:12:57- Oh, chess.- Yes!

0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Have a seat.- I got it.- Have a seat.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06- You're in chess club. - I know. It's been a while.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07It's been six years, guys.

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Have you just forgotten what chess is completely?- Yeah.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15All right, Caitlin, if I'm being honest, you've not got much to beat.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19So, who do you want to be miming this one? Sam or Marlon?

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Probably going to have to be Sam.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24All right, OK, Sam, make your way to the miming spot.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26- I'll just go down here. - APPLAUSE

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Oh, lovely.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34Didn't think it through. Didn't think it through. Oh, no.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Oh, get the door, get the door.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39- I've fallen through it. I've fallen through it.- OK.

0:13:39 > 0:13:43The time starts when you flip over your first one, so let's go.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45KLAXON

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Basketball. Ah!

0:13:51 > 0:13:54- Golf. Golf. Hockey.- Yes.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58- Jumping.- What is that?!- Diving.

0:13:58 > 0:14:02- Diving.- Long jump.- Long jump.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05- No, it's not. Keep going. - Triple jump.- What's the difference?

0:14:05 > 0:14:08- Triple jump.- Next, next, next.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10- Rowing.- Rowing.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12SAM IMITATES RACE CAR

0:14:12 > 0:14:13Driving a car.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16- Formula One.- Formula One, yes.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21- Standing still.- Put it down!

0:14:24 > 0:14:26HE MAKES SWISHING SOUND

0:14:26 > 0:14:28- Oh, oh! Oh!- It's the other way round, it's front.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31What's that called? What is that called?

0:14:31 > 0:14:32Swimming.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34LAUGHTER

0:14:34 > 0:14:35- Penguin.- Next!

0:14:37 > 0:14:41Synchronised swimming. Ah! Oh, no.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44- Hey, hey! Hey, hey! - Cheerleading.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:14:49 > 0:14:51OK, at the end of that round,

0:14:51 > 0:14:54I can reveal that the winners by one

0:14:54 > 0:14:57are Callum's team.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:04 > 0:15:08Oh, hello, everyone, it's time for Pie The Supply.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10'Pie The Supply.'

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Sounded like Sean Connery just then.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15We're about to meet four people who all claim to be real

0:15:15 > 0:15:18supply teachers, but only one of them is telling the truth.

0:15:18 > 0:15:22My advice is to look for the clues, like badly-fitting clothes

0:15:22 > 0:15:23and excess nasal hair.

0:15:23 > 0:15:28And if they're women, badly-fitting clothes and excess nasal hair.

0:15:28 > 0:15:33Either way, the teams must identify and then pie the supply.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35'Pie The Supply.'

0:15:35 > 0:15:37This is, I mean, this is our chance to pie a teacher,

0:15:37 > 0:15:39so let's do this properly.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Everyone, please, welcome on the teachers!

0:15:44 > 0:15:46BOOING

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Nasty teachers.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56Today's supply teachers all claim to be English teachers,

0:15:56 > 0:15:58but which one is telling the truth?

0:15:58 > 0:16:01I'm going to give you a few interesting facts

0:16:01 > 0:16:03about our teachers. Here we go.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06Teacher number one is called Mrs Gerken.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09She's been an English teacher for four years. Embarrassingly,

0:16:09 > 0:16:13she often misspells her own name in front of her whole class.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16Teacher number two is Miss Barbour, and she's been a teacher for a year.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19She likes to experiment with fashion,

0:16:19 > 0:16:23and once went to school with her top inside out and back to front.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25Teacher number three is Miss White.

0:16:25 > 0:16:26Her most embarrassing story is

0:16:26 > 0:16:30when she once slept in and missed two of her classes.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Naughty.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35'School disco.'

0:16:35 > 0:16:36School disco!

0:16:36 > 0:16:39MUSIC: Waiting For Love by Avicii

0:16:54 > 0:16:55MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Teacher number four is Mr Saggu.

0:16:59 > 0:17:03He's been a teacher for six years. His proudest achievement

0:17:03 > 0:17:06is coming fifth in an English Teacher of the Year award.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09Everyone, give it up for the teachers!

0:17:10 > 0:17:12APPLAUSE AND BOOING

0:17:12 > 0:17:16OK, who do you think is the real supply teacher?

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Caitlin, it's over to your team first.

0:17:18 > 0:17:22I'm going to go up the row and ask you to give me an adverb.

0:17:22 > 0:17:23GASPING

0:17:23 > 0:17:26Oh, what a question! Do you know what, Caitlin?

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Bonus star for that question. What a question.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32Right, you're all English teachers. Adverbs. Nice and easy.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34If you say a wrong one, Caitlin will have to tell us

0:17:34 > 0:17:37if you're right or not cos I don't know what one is.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38Adverb, number one.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40To do.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41Number two.

0:17:41 > 0:17:42Slowly.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Number three.- Fastly.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47- Number four.- Impossibly.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49I mean, I think they cottoned onto the L-Y at the end.

0:17:49 > 0:17:50LAUGHTER

0:17:50 > 0:17:53OK, number one, no.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- No. No, that's not right. - No?- Not right?- No.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58- So you're writing off number one? - Yeah.

0:17:58 > 0:17:59Callum's team?

0:17:59 > 0:18:02- I've got the ultimate test. - Oh, yeah? Go.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06- SAM:- Very good. Yes.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Number four looked furious when I did that.

0:18:08 > 0:18:09LAUGHTER

0:18:09 > 0:18:12- It's definitely four. - OK. Any more questions, Caitlin?

0:18:12 > 0:18:14Erm, what made you get into teaching?

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Oh, good question. One.

0:18:16 > 0:18:22I came into teaching because I love to educate little minds.

0:18:22 > 0:18:23"Little!"

0:18:23 > 0:18:26"I like little minds!"

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Not big minds, eurgh!

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Number three.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32It's simple. The school holidays.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34LAUGHTER

0:18:34 > 0:18:36APPLAUSE

0:18:36 > 0:18:39A bonus star to number three!

0:18:39 > 0:18:40Number four?

0:18:40 > 0:18:42I hate children.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44LAUGHTER

0:18:44 > 0:18:46APPLAUSE

0:18:49 > 0:18:50And number two.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53To cultivate a love of literature and the money.

0:18:53 > 0:18:58Aw, boring! Right, anyway, Callum, final question.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01What is your favourite novel, number two?

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05- Three.- Jane Eyre.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07- Four.- Er, I don't do novels.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10"I don't do novels!" You're an English teacher!

0:19:10 > 0:19:12"I don't do novels?!"

0:19:12 > 0:19:16"We're not reading this, it's got no pictures in it. This is rubbish."

0:19:16 > 0:19:20Before we pie the supply, audience, we want you to tell us

0:19:20 > 0:19:22who you think the real teacher is.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25On the count of three, who do you think the real supply teacher is?

0:19:25 > 0:19:28AUDIENCE SHOUT ANSWERS

0:19:31 > 0:19:32OK, calm down.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Caitlin, you've heard what the audience have got to say,

0:19:35 > 0:19:38but let's see what your team think. Please come over and...

0:19:38 > 0:19:40'Pie the supply.'

0:19:40 > 0:19:41Yes, please.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43CHEERING

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Caitlin, one of them's a supply teacher. Get them pied!

0:19:46 > 0:19:49Follow your heart, Caitlin. Follow your heart.

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Who's it going to be?

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Ooooh...

0:19:52 > 0:19:54LAUGHTER

0:19:54 > 0:19:56APPLAUSE

0:20:00 > 0:20:01All right, Callum,

0:20:01 > 0:20:03you've heard the audience, you've spoken to your team.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06- It's time to...- Pie the supply.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08CHEERING

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Off you go, big man.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Ooooh...

0:20:14 > 0:20:16No, he won't...?!

0:20:17 > 0:20:19CHEERING

0:20:22 > 0:20:24LAUGHTER

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Your face is the same colour as your hair.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Right, now, this is the real moment.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Let's see if we actually did pie a supply teacher.

0:20:38 > 0:20:42Would the real supply teacher please step forward?

0:20:43 > 0:20:45CHEERING

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Which means at the end of that round,

0:20:50 > 0:20:53the gold stars go to Callum's team.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:58 > 0:21:02It's time now for Who Do You Think You Are?

0:21:02 > 0:21:05I know who I am, I'm a Z-list celebrity with very nice hair.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08I know who I think you are, I think you're someone who likes

0:21:08 > 0:21:12watching Z-list celebrities stick their heads through a hole.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Well, you're in luck cos we're going to project the body

0:21:14 > 0:21:18of a much more famous person onto our celebs' faces.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22They then have to guess who they are by asking yes-no questions.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25The teams that ask the fewest questions win the game.

0:21:25 > 0:21:29This week, all our celebrities are taken from the world of music.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31So, Callum's team, you're up first.

0:21:31 > 0:21:37So, Mawaan, please put your head in the Hole of Fame.

0:21:37 > 0:21:38'The Hole of Fame.'

0:21:38 > 0:21:40CHEERING

0:21:42 > 0:21:43Hey!

0:21:43 > 0:21:45The hair's in as well. Good.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48Mawaan, it's time to make you famous.

0:21:48 > 0:21:49Hrrrezap!

0:21:49 > 0:21:51LAUGHTER

0:21:51 > 0:21:55Oh, Mawaan, lovely! Lovely.

0:21:55 > 0:21:56Lovely.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Is this your girlfriend you're with now?- Erm, yeah.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03This is my best friend.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08Mawaan, you have to work out who you are by asking

0:22:08 > 0:22:10yes and no questions to your team.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13And don't forget, it's from the world of music.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Am I a woman?

0:22:15 > 0:22:16- No.- No.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Am I a pop singer?

0:22:18 > 0:22:19- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23Am I more famous than Girls Aloud?

0:22:23 > 0:22:26- Yeah.- Yep.- Yes, everyone's more famous than Girls Aloud.- Fair point.

0:22:26 > 0:22:27LAUGHTER

0:22:27 > 0:22:31Do I sell loads of records currently?

0:22:31 > 0:22:33- Yes.- Yep.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Ooh... Am I in a band?

0:22:35 > 0:22:36- No.- No.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38- Am I good?- Yes.- Yes.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40Thanks, guys.

0:22:40 > 0:22:43Wait, are you talking about you or the...artist?

0:22:43 > 0:22:44The artist who I am.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Yeah, HE'S good.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49LAUGHTER

0:22:50 > 0:22:53Bonus gold star for Callum, everyone. Well done, mate.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56- Am I Justin Bieber?- No.- Oh.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58I said you were someone good.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00LAUGHTER

0:23:00 > 0:23:02APPLAUSE

0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Another gold star.- Zinger, zinger.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Do I make songs about...

0:23:07 > 0:23:09- love?- Yes.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11- Do I have long hair?- No.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14- His hair's quite famous. - You've got quite distinctive hair.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16Oh, oh, am I Jedward?

0:23:16 > 0:23:18- No! - LAUGHTER

0:23:18 > 0:23:21- It's a fair enough guess. - Girls Aloud, Jedward?

0:23:21 > 0:23:24Oh, mate, this is going to crumble. It's like a Lego house, this.

0:23:24 > 0:23:25- Honestly.- I'm trying.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27He's giving you the answer.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29Listen to what Iain's saying.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32- OK. Crumble.- No! - LAUGHTER

0:23:32 > 0:23:34The famous artist Crumble!

0:23:34 > 0:23:37- I think I'm going to have to tell you the answer, mate.- No, la-la!

0:23:37 > 0:23:41- One last guess. - Am I... Rod Stewart?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43No! LAUGHTER

0:23:43 > 0:23:44I can't think of anyone.

0:23:44 > 0:23:48No, no, no. Mawaan Rizwan, you were Ed Sheeran.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52- That's what I meant.- Useless, mate.

0:23:54 > 0:23:55OK, Sam, you're up next.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58Please assume the position in the Hole of Fame.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00'The Hole of Fame.'

0:24:03 > 0:24:08There he is. OK, Sam Fletcher, it's time to make you famous.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11Zabakay!

0:24:11 > 0:24:12LAUGHTER Oh!

0:24:14 > 0:24:17Oh. Whoohoo!

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Where have you put your hands?

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Where they naturally go.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23OK.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Yes-no questions, Sam Fletcher, who do you think you are?

0:24:25 > 0:24:30Well, I feel like a totally new person, and so am I a boy?

0:24:30 > 0:24:32- Yup.- Yeah.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34- Am I in a band?- Yeah.

0:24:34 > 0:24:35Am I in a really famous band?

0:24:35 > 0:24:37- Yes!- Yes!

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- One Direction.- Yes!- Yes!

0:24:40 > 0:24:41The whole problem is, though,

0:24:41 > 0:24:44I don't really know any of the members of One Direction.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46No, you do, you do. Name the names.

0:24:46 > 0:24:47Liam?

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Oh!

0:24:49 > 0:24:51There's Niall.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54- No, no.- No.- Am I the one who has the big hair?

0:24:54 > 0:24:55Famous for the big hair?

0:24:55 > 0:24:56No.

0:24:56 > 0:25:02- Not Harry?- No.- Harry, Niall, Liam, Fabio and Kyle.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04- No!- No!- Come on! Come on!

0:25:04 > 0:25:09I love there's so many girls in the audience going, "You idiot!"

0:25:09 > 0:25:10The first letter of his name.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12L.

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Liam.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15- No! - LAUGHTER

0:25:15 > 0:25:18Liam and Leroy.

0:25:18 > 0:25:19Come on! Go on!

0:25:19 > 0:25:23Leroy, La... Law... La... Larry.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Lawrence.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27- Do you know what? You don't know it.- No, no!

0:25:27 > 0:25:28No idea, sorry.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31You are Louis from One Direction.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35CHEERING

0:25:36 > 0:25:37Well done to both teams,

0:25:37 > 0:25:40but the person with the most correct answers in the least amount

0:25:40 > 0:25:46of questions and thereby getting the gold star, it is Callum's team.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48CHEERING

0:25:50 > 0:25:56OK, it's the end of the show and the tensions are running high.

0:25:56 > 0:26:00It's about time to do the scores. Callum, how are you feeling?

0:26:00 > 0:26:04- Er...- I'll take that as not confident.

0:26:04 > 0:26:07Caitlin's team, how do you think it's going to go?

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Yes! Yes!

0:26:11 > 0:26:12What was that?!

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Oh, it's just, if we were to high-five,

0:26:14 > 0:26:17- we might slap Caitlin in the face.- Yeah.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21OK. It is now time to tot up the scores,

0:26:21 > 0:26:26so bring down the stars.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28- AUDIENCE:- Ooooh!

0:26:28 > 0:26:32And the winners are...

0:26:32 > 0:26:34Callum's team!

0:26:34 > 0:26:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:39 > 0:26:40Well done, Callum's team.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43Unfortunately, Caitlin's team, the dog gets to eat your homework

0:26:43 > 0:26:46and I'm afraid it is detention with Mr Smash.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Walk of shame, please.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:50 > 0:26:52- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:52 > 0:26:53- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:53 > 0:26:56- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:56 > 0:26:58- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Losers!

0:26:58 > 0:26:59# Losers. #

0:26:59 > 0:27:02There you go. Guys, that's all we've got time for.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05As always, we didn't learn much, but it sure was fun trying.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07See you all next time on...

0:27:07 > 0:27:11- AUDIENCE:- The Dog Ate My Homework!

0:27:11 > 0:27:14Teacher!

0:27:14 > 0:27:15CHEERING

0:27:15 > 0:27:17THEME MUSIC PLAYS

0:27:45 > 0:27:47CHEERING