0:00:10 > 0:00:12THEY TALK GIBBERISH
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Hello, hello!
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Eh!
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Hello!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59I am Iain Stirling. This is The Dog Ate My Homework,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02and I'm glad that happened.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Today I am joined by some wonderful people.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Yes, it's the studio audience!
0:01:11 > 0:01:15I guess we should also meet the teams, they are quite good as well.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19On my right is a girl who claims she's always getting punished
0:01:19 > 0:01:22for something she hasn't done. It's called homework.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- Ladies and gentlemen, Orla! - Here, sir.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28And on Orla's team,
0:01:28 > 0:01:32a man that's got such a buzz he might as well travel with bees.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35It's the comedian, Romesh Ranganathan.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Here, sir.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42And joining them, two people who are so alike they share everything.
0:01:42 > 0:01:47Like lipstick, eyeliner and even DNA. It's vloggers, Lucy and Lydia.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- BOTH:- Here, sir!
0:01:51 > 0:01:55And to my left, a boy who's like a brother to Orla.
0:01:55 > 0:02:00That's because he's a BROTHER to Orla. It's Niall, everyone.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Here.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06And on Niall's team, a woman fresh from exploring a wild,
0:02:06 > 0:02:10uninhabitable place full of the scariest bugs and beasties.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Or as she likes to call it, her dressing room.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15It's CBBC's Naomi Wilkinson.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Here, sir!
0:02:18 > 0:02:22And joining them, someone who's well known for playing a nutty PE teacher
0:02:22 > 0:02:23in the Four O'clock Club.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Who'd want one of them on their TV show?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- AUDIENCE:- Boo!
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- It's Dan Wright.- Here, sir. Yes!
0:02:35 > 0:02:40There are the teams. Let's get on with the show!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48OK, so how do we do this thing? It's very simple.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Each round our teams will go
0:02:50 > 0:02:54head-to-head for one of my magical golden stars.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:02:56 > 0:03:01Stars are awarded, not just for being clever but also for making me laugh.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05But be warned, if I catch any of you being cheeky, nosy, mouthy
0:03:05 > 0:03:09or any other bits of your face-y, then boom!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11I'll take those stars away.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- AUDIENCE:- Oh!- Eh!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Don't question me cos it's Iain's school, so it's...
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- AUDIENCE:- Iain's rules!- Yes.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21At the end of the show, the team with the most stars are the winners
0:03:21 > 0:03:24while the losers will face a man so scary he makes old grannies'
0:03:24 > 0:03:26false teeth fall out in horror.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29So if you're an old granny, face away now.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Ladies and gentlemen, it's Mr Smash.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36HE GROWLS GRUFFLY
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- AUDIENCE:- Boo!
0:03:38 > 0:03:41HE GROWLS
0:03:44 > 0:03:48HE GROWLS SQUEAKILY
0:03:52 > 0:03:55It is time now for Round 1.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Yes, it's time for Stick To The Point...
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- VOICEOVER:- Stick to the point.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11..with my faithful stick of pointiness. Who's a good boy then?
0:04:12 > 0:04:15You're a good boy, yeah. Oh, yeah.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17ROMESH SNIGGERS
0:04:18 > 0:04:21That didn't necessarily work in rehearsal either but...
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Romesh said to me, "I wouldn't do that, mate.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25"They'll think it's weird."
0:04:25 > 0:04:26I went, "No, I believe in this audience."
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Anyway, here's what happens.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35I ask the teams a question, they give me an answer nice and quick.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38If they're not fast enough, repeat an answer or just talk rubbish,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40then I'll put them in the shh position.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Can I see your shh positions, please?
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Lovely stuff. Shh, lovely. Double shh from twins there. Lovely.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51- VOICEOVER:- School Disco! - School Disco!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53# Take a sip of my secret potion
0:04:53 > 0:04:56# I'll make you fall in love
0:04:56 > 0:04:58# For a spell that can't be broken
0:04:58 > 0:05:00# One drop should be enough
0:05:00 > 0:05:02# Boy, you belong to me
0:05:02 > 0:05:04# I got the recipe
0:05:04 > 0:05:06# And it's called black magic
0:05:06 > 0:05:08# And it's called black magic, yeah
0:05:08 > 0:05:10# Take a sip of my secret potion
0:05:10 > 0:05:13# One taste and you'll be mine
0:05:13 > 0:05:15# It's a spell that can't be broken
0:05:15 > 0:05:17# It'll keep you up all night
0:05:17 > 0:05:19# Boy, you belong to me
0:05:19 > 0:05:21# I got the recipe
0:05:21 > 0:05:23# And it's called black magic... #
0:05:23 > 0:05:25RECORD SCRATCHES
0:05:25 > 0:05:29OK. The last team standing get a shiny gold star.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Right, our first topic is...
0:05:31 > 0:05:33things you'd find in the woods.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38- Dan?- Wolves.- Wolves. Lucy and Lydia?- Owls.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- Owls. Naomi.- Trees. - Yes, please. Orla.
0:05:42 > 0:05:48- I don't know.- Shh position. Niall? - Water.- Yes. Romesh.- Small badger.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54I'll tell you why. I was once on a cross-country trip and...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56there was a badger, it just got too big for the woods.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58He ended up moving to the city
0:05:58 > 0:06:00because he just didn't have enough room.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02He had a family, he had to move a bit further out.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05He ended up going to a semi-detached.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- Dan.- My very lost granny.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10With the wolves. HE HOWLS
0:06:10 > 0:06:13"Oh, Gran's a it again." Naomi.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17A little tiny goblin going, "Ooh-hoo, I live in the woods."
0:06:17 > 0:06:18No, that was Dan's gran.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- Dan.- Hansel and Gretel's house. - No, it's not their house.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28Well, it is once the papers come through. And legally it is theirs.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32A little bit of mortgage banter for the children there.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- Lucy and Lydia.- Fairies.- OK then.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Naomi.- Probably some dog poo.- Oh!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Am I in or out?
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- Did you keep me in?- I'll leave you in. Dan...now you're out.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Shh position. Lucy and Lydia. - Little Red Riding Hood.- Sometimes.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Naomi.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- I had one and I've forgotten it. - Shh position.- Oh.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- Lucy and Lydia.- Um...- I don't know. Hurry up, think of one.- Hold on.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Don't know. No, shh position.
0:06:58 > 0:07:03It's Romesh against Niall. It's the matchup we've all been waiting for.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Here we go. Romesh.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Like, a monkey that's so lost it's unbelievable.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- Romesh.- One of that monkey's friends just going,
0:07:13 > 0:07:16"I heard he went to the woods, man. I do know what's going on."
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Niall.- A witch.- Romesh.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22That monkey's mum who's also joined the search party.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25I'm drawing a line on the monkey side, all right?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- Listen, it's a massive family. - I'm giving you that one. Niall.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- A charity for elves.- Shh position.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Points go to Orla's team there.
0:07:37 > 0:07:42OK, here we go. Things you do every morning.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Orla.- Used to feed the fish.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50- OK. Naomi.- Brush your teeth. - Yes, please. Lucy and Lydia.- Wake up.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52I mean, that's a very good one.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56If that doesn't happen, you're in for a long day. Romesh.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58You ask the monkey what he's doing in your living room.
0:07:59 > 0:08:04- "This isn't your home, mate."- Niall. - Eat.- Yes, please. Orla.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09- Get dressed.- Mm-hm. Niall. - Make tea.- Make tea not war. Orla.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Do the homework that you've forgotten to do last night.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14That is a very good one. Romesh.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17I like to cuddle my family and tell them I love them.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- AUDIENCE:- Aw!- Pretty nice.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Well, except for the second kid.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24LAUGHTER
0:08:24 > 0:08:26That shouldn't be funny, but it is.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- Naomi.- Remake the bed. - Yes, please. Lucy and Lydia.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Fill in my eyebrows.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- I couldn't think of... - Fill in your eyebrows?!
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Do you take your eyebrows off?- No.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I just fill them in more so they look better.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42What, so people can know if you're surprised if they're further away?
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- What do you fill them in? - Fill them in with, like, a product.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- What paint them on? - Not paint them.- Sort of.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51May... OK, paint them on, yeah.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52- Paint them on?!- Yeah, with a brush.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56So if you were angry, do you have to wipe them off and then...
0:08:56 > 0:08:57paint on those ones?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00If somebody says something horrible to you,
0:09:00 > 0:09:03"Wait a minute, mate, I tell you what, I'm going to give you
0:09:03 > 0:09:04"a reaction in a second.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07"Just let me clean these happy ones off and I'll tell you."
0:09:10 > 0:09:14- Orla.- I put on my badges for school. - Yes, please. Niall.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- Put clothes on.- Oh, wait, we've had put clothes on. Get dressed.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Niall, shh position.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Orla. BUZZ
0:09:21 > 0:09:24"I'm actually quite bored of this now."
0:09:24 > 0:09:26- Dan.- Moisturise.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Dan's actually 67.- I am.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35- Romesh.- Shave my ears. I get like...
0:09:35 > 0:09:38I get these sort of hairy bits like here, so I just shave it off
0:09:38 > 0:09:41and then send it to Lucy and Lydia for their eyebrows.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44That's disgusting. Naomi.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48- I don't know.- Shh position. Dan. - Put my glasses on.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- Romesh.- Take my glasses off.- Dan.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Put them back on again cos I can't see.- Romesh.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Take my pants out of the fridge. I like...
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I like to keep them there overnight,
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- just, like, a cool little surprise first thing in the morning.- Dan.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05Put the milk in the fridge that you actually put in...the
0:10:05 > 0:10:07under-stairs compartment.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Shh position. Points go to Orla's team there.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Well, that is the end of the round.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20And at the end, I can tell you the gold star goes to...
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Orla's team!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Hello. It's now time for a bit of
0:10:33 > 0:10:37drama in a round we like to call Mime Craft.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- VOICEOVER:- Mime Craft.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42One member of each team will take it in turns to act out a series
0:10:42 > 0:10:46of activities that their captain will reveal on the flippy thing.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Behold, the flippy thing!
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:10:51 > 0:10:55I mean, decades of research and all I can come up is "the flippy thing".
0:10:55 > 0:10:59Anyway, the team who gets the most mimes correctly before the bell rings
0:10:59 > 0:11:00will win a gold star.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04So, Orla, who are you picking? Lucy, Lydia, Romesh.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09You've got two young, go-getting athletic girls...and Romesh.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Who are you going for?
0:11:11 > 0:11:14- I'll go for Romesh. - Of course you are.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Romesh, how are you feeling about this?
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- I feel great, I'm really excited about it.- I thought as much.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Romesh, please make your way to the mime spot.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29OK, Romesh, your time starts when Orla flips over the first card.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Three, two, one, go, Orla!
0:11:31 > 0:11:33HORN BLARES
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- Cycling.- Yeah, well done.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- No, it's wrong.- Frisbee.- Frisbee. - Tennis.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43- Yes.- Disk throwing.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I'll give you it.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Oh, what?- Golf.- Golf.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Putting.- Crazy golf.- Oh!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Gold star.- Egg on the spoon.
0:11:54 > 0:12:00- You're so good!- You two haven't said anything yet. There's two of you!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- Badminton.- Rock-climbing.- No.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06- Colder than rock-climbing. - Ooh, mountain climbing.- Pass, pass.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- You can't laugh!- Can you come here? Can you come here?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Lie down on the floor. - What do you mean?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18LAUGHTER
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Argh! Ugh! Argh!
0:12:20 > 0:12:21- Sledging.- Yes! Yes.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Sumo wrestling. Is that right?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Sumo wrestling.- This is payback!
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Argh!- Is it sumo...?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43BELL RINGS
0:12:45 > 0:12:47You're so good!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49You are as heavy as you look.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Next up, Niall. Do you want Dan the actor or Naomi the presenter?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I'll go with Dan the actor.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Dan the actor, please make your way to the mime spot.- Wise choice.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07- Come on, Dan.- OK, guys, your time
0:13:07 > 0:13:09starts when Niall flips over his board.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Niall, take it away, please.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- HORN BLARES - Archery.- Yes.- Very good.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18- Diving.- High diving.- Yes.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- Skiing.- Ice skating. Dancing, gymnastics.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- Come here, come here.- Ice dancing. Figure dancing.- Dancing.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- Figure...- Figure skating.- Yes.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- Bouncing.- I mean, what is that?!
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Pogo stick.- Pogo sticking.- No, no. - Pogo sticking.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37- Pogo...- Jumping.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- Oh, wait, wait, wait!- Hopscotch.- Yes.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44What were you doing earlier on?!
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Finishing.- Ahhh!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- Ice fishing.- Yes!
0:13:48 > 0:13:49I'll give you a gold star for that.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Bungee jumping.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Bungee diving.- Underwater. - Diving... Underwater diving.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- He's falling from an awful long way. - Sky...
0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Skydiving.- Yes.- Oh.
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Skateboarding.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04- Surfing.- Yes.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11What?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14THEY SNORE
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- Sleeping.- Sleep.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19- Hitting.- Sleep.- Fighting.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22- What am I holding?- Swords. - Pillow fighting.- Yes.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Thank you.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- What?- Running. Sprinting.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Running. Running round the studio.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- I don't think he knows what it is. - Running round the studio.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Um, looking like an idiot.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- BELL RINGS - Oh! Oh.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39Yes.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46- I'll give you a star if you get it now.- Quick, what's that?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48- What did he do?- It was free running.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- Oh!- Give it up for Dan, everyone. Have a sit down.- Sorry, Dan.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I love how Dan thinks free running
0:14:56 > 0:14:59is running but just with your arms weirdly...
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- I did feel free, though. - You did feel free.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06OK, so, at the end of that round, I could tell you the gold star
0:15:06 > 0:15:08goes to...Niall's team!
0:15:08 > 0:15:11AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Now it's time for Pie The Supply.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- VOICEOVER:- Pie The Supply.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26In a moment each team will meet four people all claiming to be teachers
0:15:26 > 0:15:28but only one of them is telling the truth,
0:15:28 > 0:15:31the others are just making it up to get on telly.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35And of course, to meet little old me.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39However, all of this comes at a price.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43Namely, being questioned by this lot who have to identify and then pie
0:15:43 > 0:15:45who they think is the real supply teacher.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Today, we have a space in the physics department
0:15:49 > 0:15:51so let's bring out the teachers!
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Boo!
0:15:55 > 0:15:57- AUDIENCE:- Boo!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Boo!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Boo! The teachers that are just
0:16:02 > 0:16:04trying to improve their pupils' lives.
0:16:04 > 0:16:09Boo! OK, before you guys ask your questions, here are our teachers CVs.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Here we go.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Teacher number one is Mr McElvy.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16He's been teaching physics for 22 years.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18He particularly enjoys teaching about electricity,
0:16:18 > 0:16:21and in his spare time he's a DJ.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28Teacher number two. Mr Byers has been a physics teacher for six years.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31He once came to school wearing his pyjamas and is
0:16:31 > 0:16:34a professional wrestler in his free time.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Teacher number three is Mrs Low. She's been a teacher for ten years.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40She once broke a very expensive bit of equipment
0:16:40 > 0:16:42and blamed it on a student.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46When she can, she likes to go to comic book conventions.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Teacher number four is Mr Mackay.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51He's been a physics teacher for ten years.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53He likes to think of himself as a bit of a joker.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57His favourite frequency is 50,000 Hz,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59although you've probably never heard it before.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Cos it's high...
0:17:01 > 0:17:02It's high-pitched.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07OK, let's do some questions. Niall's team. Naomi, Dan, Niall,
0:17:07 > 0:17:09have you got any questions for these physics teachers?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Number two, what's your wrestling nickname?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I wrestle under the name Mr Byers.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17I'm a teacher in and out of the ring.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18I like the name Mr Byers.
0:17:18 > 0:17:25Like, "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage...Mr Byers."
0:17:25 > 0:17:27He walks out just marking jars.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Number four, act how you would if you were in school. Dring!
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Right, class, sit down. We are going to get on with some physics now.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38For every action, there's an equal opposite reaction, so please
0:17:38 > 0:17:41remember that as we go through our working day.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43- DAN:- And you do that every time the bell goes?
0:17:44 > 0:17:46I'm a disciplinarian.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- NAOMI:- Who said that quote? - It's Sir Isaac Newton.- Ooh!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51OK, Number four, number four...
0:17:51 > 0:17:53The thing is, I could've asked that question
0:17:53 > 0:17:56and he could have said anything, and I wouldn't have known.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58That's Daffy Duck, isn't it? I would've, "Yep."
0:17:58 > 0:18:00"That's Tinchy Stryder." All right, good.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04Orla's team, have you got any questions for your teachers?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Teacher one hasn't had any questions.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10These questions have nothing to do with teaching, word of warning now.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- That's a maverick approach from Orla.- Yes.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- What do you prefer, jam or butter? - Jam.- What's your favourite number?
0:18:17 > 0:18:21- Eight.- What do you prefer, water or juice?- Ooh, it's a tough one.- Juice.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26- Are you a teacher?- Yes.- Oh, clever.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27He's too cunning for you.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30For every action, there's an equal opposite reaction, I'm afraid, Orla.
0:18:30 > 0:18:35- Dan.- From my experience, science teachers have coffee breath.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38How would you describe your breath each and every one of you?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- ROMESH:- If you're committed to it, go and smell their breath.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43AUDIENCE GROANS
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Come on then. Walked into that one, didn't I?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48"How would you describe your breath?"
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Come on, mate. Get in and sniff it.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- Get your nose in there! - It's kind of like a gravy.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- Kind of a gravyesque kind of breath. - Number two, here we go.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Um, it's kind of minty. Kind of like that.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- Are you breathing?- Yes!
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Absolutely nothing. She's not alive.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12- Coffee. Coffee. - LAUGHTER
0:19:12 > 0:19:16OK, OK. Guys, you've got a flavour of who you think might be the teacher.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Let's ask the audience.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19On the count of three, audience,
0:19:19 > 0:19:21shout out who you think is the teacher.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23One, two, three, go!
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- AUDIENCE:- Four!
0:19:25 > 0:19:29AUDIENCE SHOUTS OPINIONS
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Right, OK. Shh! Shh!
0:19:32 > 0:19:37It looks like the audience think it's number four. So it's decision time.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Who totally lied and who's about to get pied?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43All right, Orla, you're up first.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44So it's time for you to...
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- VOICEOVER:- Pie the supply.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Thanks.- Here we go. Who's she going to pick?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Ooh!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Ooh!
0:19:58 > 0:20:01AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Niall. It's your turn, mate. Please go and...
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- VOICEOVER:- Pie the supply.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- Here we go.- Thanks.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Ooh!
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Who's it going to be?
0:20:20 > 0:20:23AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Well, let's see if you pied the supply teacher
0:20:30 > 0:20:32or an innocent bystander.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Would the real supply teacher please step forwards?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41APPLAUSE
0:20:41 > 0:20:42No!
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Um, number four, what do you do for a living?
0:20:48 > 0:20:51I'm a TV extra and I do a bit of painting.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55They missed the teacher!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58- How do you feel?- Fantastic.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Oh!
0:21:00 > 0:21:04At the end of that round then, sadly, neither team gets a gold star.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06AUDIENCE AWS
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Right then, despite repeated warnings,
0:21:13 > 0:21:15the lost property department
0:21:15 > 0:21:17is overflowing again.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20I mean, look at this junk. Who needs this?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22WHO needs this?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Who's using that?
0:21:24 > 0:21:27IMITATES ROMESH: 'Ooh, I'm Romesh.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30'Oh, hello, I'm Romesh.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34'I used to be a teacher and I'm miserable all the time.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40'Romesh!
0:21:42 > 0:21:43'Anything you'd like to say...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47'..for yourself?
0:21:47 > 0:21:50'That's who I am. I'm Romesh!
0:21:52 > 0:21:54'I'm going to do it until you say something, mate.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59'Don't think I'm not brave enough to carry on.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01'I absolutely will.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02'La, la, la!
0:22:02 > 0:22:05LAUGHTER
0:22:07 > 0:22:09'I love myself so very much.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11'La, la, la!'
0:22:13 > 0:22:15So just like that. You get the idea.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Right...
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Right, um...
0:22:24 > 0:22:25We need this stuff cleared up.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29So, teams, you both need to rummage around in lost property
0:22:29 > 0:22:31looking for the items I call out.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Once you have them, you need to dress your mannequins,
0:22:33 > 0:22:36who will be played by your other team-members,
0:22:36 > 0:22:38doing their lovely little poses there.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Ooh, indeed. Yes.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45The dummy... No offence, girls. ..with the most items wins.
0:22:45 > 0:22:50If you're ready, OK? it's time to reclaim the lost property.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53We have got until the bell rings. Let's get lost!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56First of all, you're looking for a brown wig. A brown wig.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59A brown wig! A brown wig!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02You need a brown wig. One brown wig.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05OK, a pink sun visor. A pink sun visor.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09A pink sun visor, we're looking for. A pair of granny pants.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11If you can find a pair of granny pants.
0:23:11 > 0:23:16That's a shirt. OK, a chicken's beak. A chicken's beak.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18A chicken's beak.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21There is one there. That's a chicken's beak, I think.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24There's one there as well. Chicken's beak.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26A hobbyhorse. There's only one hobbyhorse, you need it.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Dan's got it. Let go and release.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32A pink football. A pink football.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Pink football. A white shirt. A white shirt.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42OK, a vase. Get your vases. Get your vases.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Be careful with them. Oh!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Oh! Ooh!
0:23:48 > 0:23:50OK, that's not great. A black cowboy hat.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Rom, are you all right, mate?
0:23:54 > 0:23:58A school notebook, a school notebook. Oh!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01What is it now?
0:24:01 > 0:24:04'I'm a naughty cheeks! I'm a naughty cheeks.'
0:24:06 > 0:24:09A Romesh... A Romesh beard. We want a Romesh beard.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17OK, clothes hanger. Do we have clothes hangers?
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- Clothes hanger.- Clothes hanger.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23A small backpack. A small backpack.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25- AUDIENCE:- Romesh! Romesh!
0:24:27 > 0:24:28It's all kicking off.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33SCHOOL BELL RINGS Time's up. Stop! Stop.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Let's count the items. Naomi Wilkinson.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43- You're like a sort of crazy person. - What do you mean?
0:24:43 > 0:24:44OK. Let's see how any items you got.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48You've got one, two, three, four,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten items.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53And I do have a Romesh beard.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Oh, yeah, got a bit. 10.5. 10.5 for Naomi.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Girls, you're like crazy scientists.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07How's the Romesh? Can you do a Romesh impression? 'Ooh, I'm Romesh.'
0:25:07 > 0:25:10- 'Ooh, I'm Romesh.' - It's just like you, mate.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Let's count your items. OK, one...
0:25:12 > 0:25:13'Mme-me-me-mme!'
0:25:13 > 0:25:18- Two.- ..two Three, four, five, six,
0:25:18 > 0:25:22seven, eight, nine, ten.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- Oh, no!- No way! Niall's team have taken it by half a point...
0:25:27 > 0:25:31..with the beard. Which means the gold star goes to Niall's team!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Stop! Stop.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Guys, that's all we've got time for.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48- AUDIENCE:- Oh!- I know.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50All that's left to do is to work out who's the winner.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54So we need to count up the scores and bring down the stars.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Today's winners are...
0:26:07 > 0:26:10..Niall's team!
0:26:10 > 0:26:13CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:26:15 > 0:26:20Niall's team. I am sick and tired of smarty-pants always winning.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23So I've decided to send you lot to detention and the dog is
0:26:23 > 0:26:25going to eat your homework.
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Orla's team...
0:26:26 > 0:26:27- AUDIENCE:- Boo!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Eh! Orla's team, you're off the hook.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:26:32 > 0:26:35So what we need now is for Niall's team, it's time for you guys
0:26:35 > 0:26:38to take the walk of shame.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!
0:26:41 > 0:26:42- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!
0:26:45 > 0:26:46- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49- # La-la-la-la-la-la - Losers!
0:26:49 > 0:26:50# Losers. #
0:26:50 > 0:26:53And that's all we've got time for. As ever, I know we didn't learn much,
0:26:53 > 0:26:55but it was fun trying.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58See you next time on...
0:26:58 > 0:27:01- AUDIENCE:- The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03See you!