0:00:03 > 0:00:04CHILDREN CHEER
0:00:09 > 0:00:10BABBLING
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Ah!
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Oh!
0:00:59 > 0:01:00LAUGHTER
0:01:00 > 0:01:02We need to get that lift fixed.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Oh!
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Hello, how's everyone doing?
0:01:06 > 0:01:11AUDIENCE CHEER
0:01:14 > 0:01:16About four people went, "Aaaargh!"
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Everybody meet Malcolm, my twin. Say hello to Malcolm.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- AUDIENCE:- Yay!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27OK. I'm Iain Stirling. This is A Dog Ate My Homework, and after
0:01:27 > 0:01:32a hard day at school, what could be better than a quick show about...
0:01:32 > 0:01:33school?
0:01:33 > 0:01:36We haven't really... We've not thought this through.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Anyway, let's meet our teams.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42OK, on my right, a girl who is just like her seasonal namesake -
0:01:42 > 0:01:44short. It's Summer, everyone.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- Here, sir. - AUDIENCE CHEER
0:01:47 > 0:01:51And on Summer's team, a man who insists on travelling first class.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53It's great - we can stick a stamp on his head and pop him in the post.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56It's all over the place, it's Ed Petrie.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Here, sir.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Also on their team, a man whose IQ score is totally off the scale -
0:02:03 > 0:02:06unfortunately, in the wrong direction!
0:02:06 > 0:02:07It's TV presenter Alex Riley.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, sir.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13OK, and on my left, a boy who's left a real mark on his school,
0:02:13 > 0:02:15cos he writes on class walls in permanent marker -
0:02:15 > 0:02:16it's Finley, everybody.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, sir.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22And on Finley's team, an actress from Horrible Histories who is
0:02:22 > 0:02:24so lovely I once asked her on a date.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28She said 3rd March, 1862. It's Dominique Moore.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, sir.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34And finally, a great friend of mine that I nicknamed Yonko,
0:02:34 > 0:02:38but every day he has said to me, "Iain, please call me Chris."
0:02:38 > 0:02:39So, ladies and gentlemen,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42I'd like to introduce you all to Yonko, everybody.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Here, sir.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48Yonko, AKA Chris Johnson. Guys, give it up for today's teams.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Let's get on with the show.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00OK, here's how the show works.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02I set our teams questions, they give me answers.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06If I like what I hear, then I give them a shiny golden star.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- AUDIENCE:- Whoo!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12But if they get them wrong, or accidentally set
0:03:12 > 0:03:16the studio on fire, then I'll take them back from them.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18- AUDIENCE:- Ah!
0:03:18 > 0:03:22Eh, don't question me, because it's Iain's school, so it's...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24- ALL:- Iain's rules!
0:03:24 > 0:03:27At the end of the show, we'll see who's bagged the most gold stars.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Winners get to jump up and down with glee,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32while the losers have to do detention with a man
0:03:32 > 0:03:35so unpleasant, he is the only thing that flies won't land on -
0:03:35 > 0:03:37it's Mr Smash.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40HE BABBLES
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- AUDIENCE:- Boo!
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Puh!
0:03:47 > 0:03:50HE STRAINS
0:03:51 > 0:03:54HE LAUGHS
0:04:00 > 0:04:01BANG
0:04:01 > 0:04:02CUCKOO
0:04:02 > 0:04:04APPLAUSE
0:04:04 > 0:04:07That made absolutely no sense. Let's get on with the show.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Time now for Stick To The Point.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20'Stick To The Point.'
0:04:20 > 0:04:22This round involves me asking the teams a question.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24All they have to do is give me the answer
0:04:24 > 0:04:28without repeating themselves, hesitating or talking gobbledygook.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Any errors, and I will put them in the shush position.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Can I see your shush positions, please?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Lovely shushes there.
0:04:35 > 0:04:40But for this, we need my stick of pointiness. Now where did I...
0:04:40 > 0:04:41LAUGHTER
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Hold on. The dog's got it.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48Oi! You! Come over here. Give it here!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Give that... Naughty dog! Get over there.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- AUDIENCE:- Aww!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Don't pity him!
0:04:54 > 0:04:55- AUDIENCE:- Awww!
0:04:55 > 0:04:56OK, here is your first topic.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00Your first topic is things you can put in a sandwich.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Chris.- Ham.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03- Alex?- Lettuce.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- Yes, please. Dominique? - Skit... Not skittles!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07LAUGHTER
0:05:07 > 0:05:08BUZZER
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Get in the shush position.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- Alex?- Peanut butter.- Yes, please.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Ed?- Sandwich spread.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- Ooooh! Fin?- Cheese. - Cheese, yep. Alex?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Banana.- Yes, Chris?- Margarine?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Oh, OK.- You know Chris' famous margarine sandwiches(!)
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Yum, Yum! Oh, Mum, do I hate flavour!
0:05:28 > 0:05:30LAUGHTER
0:05:30 > 0:05:31- Ed?- Fish paste.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Oh, and you made fun of margarine?
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- Fin?- Tuna.- Tuna, yeah, that's proper fish paste. Alex?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- Coronation chicken. - AUDIENCE:- Woo!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45All, only in Glasgow. "Oooh, Coronation chicken!"
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I bet his telly's mounted on the wall.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52LAUGHTER
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Fancy pants, with his coronation chicken,
0:05:54 > 0:05:56it's been around since the '70s.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58What's he like?
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Can I come back in?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01No, shush!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- Chris?- Cress.- Cress(!)
0:06:04 > 0:06:06With me margarine...
0:06:06 > 0:06:08LAUGHTER
0:06:08 > 0:06:09I like them bland.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Oh, it's awful plain, this margarine sandwich.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14I'll put in this sort of grass.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16LAUGHTER
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- Ed?- Er, seeds?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20LAUGHTER
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- Get in the shush position. - You caught me off guard!
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Fin?- Crisps?- Yes, please. Classic.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29- Summer?- Potatoes.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31LAUGHTER
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- I put mashed potatoes in my sandwiches.- What? Why?
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Because my grandma makes us mashed potato and sausage and she
0:06:38 > 0:06:42gives me a slice of bread and I make it into mashed-potato sandwich.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Someone loves carbs!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Yonko's outside going, "I've got some cress..."
0:06:47 > 0:06:50LAUGHTER "..do you need any?"
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- Yonk?- Peanut butter.- Have we had that?- We've had that.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55BUZZER Shush position!
0:06:55 > 0:06:59- Oh, Fin, here we go. Summer? - Sausages.- Fin?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- I don't know. - BUZZER
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Oh, no!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05I've got bored of this bit now, mate.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07LAUGHTER
0:07:07 > 0:07:10All right, shush position. Points go to Summer's team.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:14 > 0:07:16- Mashed potatoes.- Mashed potato sandwiches all around?
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Next one, things you find at an airport. Summer?
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- Er, a trolley.- It wouldn't have been my first choice...
0:07:23 > 0:07:24LAUGHTER
0:07:24 > 0:07:27- But well done. Dominique?- People!
0:07:27 > 0:07:28- Alex?- Conveyor belt.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Yes. Fin?- Planes.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Well done. I'm going to give you a bonus star
0:07:32 > 0:07:35for saying the obvious answer, about five answers in.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- Yeah.- Summer?- Bacteria.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40LAUGHTER
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Don't touch your hands, it's covered in bacteria. Chris?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Sick bags.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Respect that.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Technically, you find them on an aeroplane.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Ah, but where'd you get them to put them on the plane?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- Sick-bag shop.- Good point.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Yes. Alex?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00A man with two table tennis bats,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03who stands in front of a plane going...
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Like that, like that.- That is true.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11- Dominique?- What's it called? They're not trams and they're not buses.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Are you going to let her get away with this?
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- LAUGHTER DOMINIQUE:- No, but you know...
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- Hesitation! - You know, you have to get on them
0:08:17 > 0:08:20to get to the next bit of the airport. What are they?
0:08:20 > 0:08:21They're not trams...
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- They're buses.- Shuttle. Shuttle bus. - Shuttles. Shuttles! Shuttles!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Monorails!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- My answer is a shuttle. - LAUGHTER
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Shush position.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35You were hesitating. It's Iain's school, so it's...
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- ALL:- Iain's rules.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39- OK, Summer?- Phones.- Fin?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Pilots.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Ah, I've got to put you in the shush position, Fin,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46only because you hesitated a little bit and this game is taking ages.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- OK, Yonk? - A tray for your electronics.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Ed?- Those little car things that go beep, beep
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- with a granny on the back! - LAUGHTER
0:08:54 > 0:08:58Little fact about them - it's the granny that makes those noises!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02- Chris?- A tray for your belt. - LAUGHTER
0:09:02 > 0:09:06- It's a different tray. - I can see where this is going. Chris.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08A tray for your coat?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Chris.- They're different trays! - Chris!
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Shush position!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14BUZZER Points go to Summer's team.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:17 > 0:09:18BELL RINGS
0:09:18 > 0:09:20High-five. Don't leave me hanging there.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26That is the end of that round and the gold stars go to...
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Summer's team!
0:09:27 > 0:09:30APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Time now for Pie The Supply.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41'Pie The Supply.'
0:09:41 > 0:09:45This is where we give our teachers a much-needed makeover -
0:09:45 > 0:09:47or should I say cake-over?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Can we play the pun bell, please?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53DING! Thank you.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Now, the point is, our teams will meet four people all claiming to be
0:09:57 > 0:10:00real supply teachers, but only one of them is telling the truth.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Our teams must sniff out who they think that is
0:10:02 > 0:10:05and then let the pie fly.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08So let's meet our teachers.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11AUDIENCE BOOS Boo, teachers.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18Nasty, nasty teachers.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Right, today, all these people are claiming to be English teachers.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Only one of them is telling the truth.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27And for a little heads-up, let's hear their CVs.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Teacher number 1 is Mrs Wood.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32She's been an English teacher for four years.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36In her free time, she likes taking part in battle re-enactments
0:10:36 > 0:10:38in the countryside.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40LAUGHTER
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Teacher number 2 is Mrs North. She's been a teacher for three years.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Her favourite Shakespeare play is A Midsummer Night's Dream.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50In her class, she always plays the part of Titania,
0:10:50 > 0:10:53the beautiful queen of the fairies.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Teacher number 3 is Mrs Gillen.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58She's been teaching English for the past 15 years.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Her favourite English fact is there are no words that rhyme with
0:11:01 > 0:11:05month, orange, silver or purple.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07She's never heard of the word "burple".
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Teacher number 4 is Mr Thompson.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13He's been teaching English for 12 years.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16He thinks English is the most important subject someone can
0:11:16 > 0:11:19study - the other subjects are just filling up the day.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22So who do you think it is, Fin's team?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Have you got some questions? Let's narrow down the field.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- Yeah. Off the bat... - Yeah, we've got questions.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30..put your hand up if you like chewing gum.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Oh!- Very clever.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34They're all the teacher.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- I've got a good one.- All right.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Right...where do you teach?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Where do you teach? Number 1?
0:11:41 > 0:11:42I teach in Rosyth.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- Number 2?- Glasgow.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Number 3?- Rutherglen.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47- Number 4?- Falkirk.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49They've just said where they're from.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51LAUGHTER
0:11:51 > 0:11:53- I've got a good one.- Right, OK, Fin.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Which one do you prefer - tea or coffee?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Oh, great question!- Yes.- Ah.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01I want you all to answer at the same time, on the count of three.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03One, two, three...
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- 1, 2, 4:- Coffee.- 3:- Tea.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- Ah!- Who said coffee, who said coffee?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10You three are lying.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15- Teachers are not allowed to drink coffee in my school.- Really?- Why?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16They're not allowed to drink coffee.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Why? Cos if you walked in class... "ALL RIGHT, CLASS!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21"WELCOME!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24"I'VE READ TEN BOOKS, I'VE NOT SLEPT IN A WEEK!"
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Summer's team?
0:12:27 > 0:12:28- I've got one, I've got one.- Right.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30I want you to tell me off for running in the corridor.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Right, so Ed is going to run in the corridor
0:12:32 > 0:12:35and I'm going to pick one of you and you'll tell him off for running.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37OK? Here we go.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Number 3.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Stop that, right now! No running in the corridor.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43ED BLOWS RASPBERRY Don't put up with it.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45- FIN:- She's not it. - Number 1, number 1.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Right, Ed...
0:12:47 > 0:12:49a punishment exercise, and punishment...
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Excuse me.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Number 2. - Ed, back to your seat NOW!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55No, he's not having any of it.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56And number 4?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Once I catch you, you're going to be a very sorry boy, Ed.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- ALL:- Oh-h-h...
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Catch me! Catch me!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Woo-oo-ee!
0:13:07 > 0:13:11APPLAUSE
0:13:11 > 0:13:15There you go. Number 4 said, if he catches you, you'll be sorry.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Maybe not a teacher, definitely from Glasgow.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Number 3 - you've been a teacher for 15 years.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26What would you say was the major difference in teaching now
0:13:26 > 0:13:27to 15 years ago?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Great question, Alex. And do you know what?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31I'll dedicate a little bit of extra time just
0:13:31 > 0:13:34so you can really give us the answer.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38I think the main difference between my teaching now and my teaching
0:13:38 > 0:13:40when I first started,
0:13:40 > 0:13:43is now I know what I'm doing.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46LAUGHTER
0:13:47 > 0:13:51I'm going to give number 3 a bonus gold star.
0:13:51 > 0:13:52TINKLING
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Let's see what the audience think.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Audience, who do you think is the real teacher?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59On the count of three, shout it out, loud and proud.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00One, two, three...
0:14:00 > 0:14:03THEY SHOUT
0:14:07 > 0:14:11OK, OK. It looks like... It's tight, I think.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13A lot of the audience think it's number 2.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Finley, it's time for you to...
0:14:16 > 0:14:18'Pie the supply.'
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Go on, Finley.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22APPLAUSE
0:14:22 > 0:14:27- ALL:- Oh-h-h-h-h...
0:14:27 > 0:14:30AUDIENCE CHEERS, LAUGHS
0:14:33 > 0:14:37I am SO sorry.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40I said, "pie the supply," not "drown the supply!"
0:14:41 > 0:14:43OK...
0:14:43 > 0:14:47Summer. Summer, Summer, Summer. Time for you to...
0:14:47 > 0:14:48'Pie the supply.'
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I hope it's not number 2.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56- ALL:- Oh-h-h-h...
0:14:56 > 0:14:58LOUD CHEERS
0:14:58 > 0:15:02LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Summer.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Summer!
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Come over here.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Right, let's quickly get this over and done with.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Would the real supply teacher please step forward?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15AUDIENCE JEERS, APPLAUDS
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Oh... Well, look... Oh, my days.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Look, none of the you get the points, none of you get the gold stars,
0:15:24 > 0:15:27but we've got one very smug supply teacher.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Give it up for the teacher.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:37 > 0:15:39OK, guys,
0:15:39 > 0:15:43a bit of science now. This is Lost Words.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45'Lost Words.'
0:15:45 > 0:15:47This is the part of the show where I give the teams a fact with
0:15:47 > 0:15:50some missing words. All they have to do is fill in the blanks.
0:15:50 > 0:15:56For example, "blank" is the emptiest place on planet Earth.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57The answer, of course, being,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Mr Smash's head...
0:16:00 > 0:16:03HAMMERING ECHOES
0:16:03 > 0:16:05..is the emptiest place on planet Earth.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07OK, so... This is a buzzer round.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Fin, can I hear your buzzer, please?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12HORN HONKS
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Oh, bless you, Fin.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17And, Summer, can I hear yours?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Bit quiet.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22That's much better. OK, fingers on the buzzers.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Here is your facts. First fact...
0:16:24 > 0:16:26'School disco.'
0:16:26 > 0:16:28School disco!
0:16:28 > 0:16:33MUSIC: "Easy Love" by Sigala
0:16:43 > 0:16:46RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES
0:16:46 > 0:16:48OK, back to the science round.
0:16:48 > 0:16:54Under extreme high pressure, "blank" can be made from "blank"?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Dominique-ique-ique?
0:16:58 > 0:17:05Under extreme high pressure, stress can be made from calm people.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Thank you.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Do you know what, Dominique? It's very true
0:17:14 > 0:17:16cos, until I met you, I was a very calm person.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Any more for any more? Alex Riley from The Vun Show?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Erm, hello der.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Under extreme high pressure,
0:17:26 > 0:17:31extra mature stilton can be made from Iain's socks.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33AUDIENCE GROANS Yes.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Under extreme high pressure,
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Chris Johnson can be made from yoghurt.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41What, are you 90%?
0:17:41 > 0:17:4395%, actually.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- OK.- Yeah, fromage.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Chris Fromage Johnson... Yes, Chris?
0:17:47 > 0:17:51Under extreme high pressure, farts can be made from pure fear.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57Summer?
0:17:57 > 0:18:02Under extreme high pressure, electricity can be made from ants.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- I've got a feeling you may have just made that up in your mind.- Yeah.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Yes, Chris?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Under extreme high pressure, diamonds can be made from coal.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14- ALL:- Ooh!
0:18:16 > 0:18:18- Do you know what, it is diamonds... - Oh?
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- ..but it's not coal.- Oh. - But it's near enough.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24It is, under extreme high pressure,
0:18:24 > 0:18:27diamonds can be made from peanut butter.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- ALL:- What?!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- No.- The other non-renewable resource.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Look at the shock in the room.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37One day in December 1955,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Robert Wentorf went out of his local food store, bought a jar of
0:18:40 > 0:18:43crunchy peanut butter, spread some in the centre of a huge machine...
0:18:43 > 0:18:45After leaving it for a while,
0:18:45 > 0:18:49he opened it up to reveal a tiny green-tinged diamond.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51I'm going to try that when I get home.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53What was this machine he put it in?
0:18:53 > 0:18:54- A high-pressure machine.- Oh.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00This is going to change the world. "Oh! He's proposed to me.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04"He got down on one knee and put the peanut butter on my finger."
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Right, here we go. Scientists...
0:19:07 > 0:19:09They're clever, aren't they?
0:19:14 > 0:19:18HORN HONKS Yes, Dominique-ique-ique?
0:19:18 > 0:19:23Scientists have developed a way of charging your toothbrush using...
0:19:23 > 0:19:27- FIN:- Batteries.- ..batteries? No, that's not it...
0:19:27 > 0:19:29He stitched you right up!
0:19:29 > 0:19:32What, they've invented an electric toothbrush?
0:19:32 > 0:19:36- That is the future. - That's not what I was going to say.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Diamonds from peanut butter, now electric toothbrushes...
0:19:38 > 0:19:40What next? A radio?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42BELL DINGS
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Is it scientists have developed a way of
0:19:44 > 0:19:47charging your phone using peanut butter?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Ooh... "Mobile" is correct.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53- Dominique-ique-ique? - Charging your mobile using food?
0:19:53 > 0:19:55No, no... Think more bodily function. We're thinking...
0:19:55 > 0:19:57BELL DINGS Ed?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Wee?
0:19:59 > 0:20:02HORN HONKS Wait. Ed, that is disgusting.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- Wow.- No, it's disgusting.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07- Absolutely vile. - It's correct, though.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09This is the BBC...
0:20:09 > 0:20:11and you're right - it's correct.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Who put that up?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16BELL RINGS Oh, that is all we've got time for.
0:20:16 > 0:20:21At the end of that round, the gold star goes to...
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Summer's team!
0:20:22 > 0:20:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:30 > 0:20:32HE IMPERSONATES A SEAL
0:20:32 > 0:20:36Yes, OK. Time now for Body Language...
0:20:36 > 0:20:38'Body Language.'
0:20:38 > 0:20:42..where the answer to every question will be tiny three-letter words,
0:20:42 > 0:20:45mostly so Yonko can understand them.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49However, our teams have to spell out those words using nothing more
0:20:49 > 0:20:51than their limbs and other body bits.
0:20:51 > 0:20:56So let's bring down the Body Language frame thingy.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04OK.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Finley's team, you're up first. How do you feel?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Dominique, do you feel nice? Do you feel good?
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- Well, I've been stretching, so... - Are you limbered up?- Yeah.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- Nice and limber.- Yeah, I'd say that. - Fin, how are you feeling?
0:21:14 > 0:21:15- Good.- Good?- Yeah.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- Yonk?- Yeah.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- It's not my name, though, is it? - No, it's not, Yonk, it isn't.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23OK... LAUGHTER
0:21:23 > 0:21:27You have until the bell to say as many words as you possibly can spell.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30OK, you ready? Your time stars when I ask the first question. Here we go...
0:21:30 > 0:21:32This tree grows from acorns...
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Oak?- Yes.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Which way are we going? Are you doing the "O" or am I doing the "O"?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38- You're "O". "O-A..."- I'm "O"?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40You're the first letter, that's how it works.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42I didn't know if it was that direction or...
0:21:42 > 0:21:45No, cos it's not Arabic - it's the normal way that a word goes.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- Are you doing a letter or a rugby scrum, Fin? I can't tell.- I'm "A".
0:21:48 > 0:21:49- Are you "A"?- Yeah.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52You look like you're in pain, mate.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55What are YOU doing?!
0:21:55 > 0:21:56I'm "O".
0:21:58 > 0:22:00You look like you're having a baby.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Well...
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I'll give you that, OK. The opposite of "lose"?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- ALL:- Win.- Am I "W"?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Yes!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- It's not going to change. - I'm allowed to talk to my team.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14Stop talking to me! Look! What are YOU doing?
0:22:14 > 0:22:16LAUGHTER
0:22:16 > 0:22:18- What are you doing?- I'm "W".
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- "W" doesn't walk like that.- Yeah, but I can't keep them in the air.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24What... You look like you're going to fart on Fin.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29You'll get the point if Chris can hold it for three seconds.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- One, two...- Go on, Chris. - One, two, three... Got a point.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Sushi is made from what fish?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- Fish.- Raw.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Yeah. Not what sushi is - sushi's a rice roll, but let's...
0:22:43 > 0:22:45I still don't understand how that's an "A".
0:22:45 > 0:22:46How is that an "A"?
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- It's an 'A'.- How's that...? You can't just say, "It's an 'A'."
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Cos of the circle here, and then it's...
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Oh, you're the tick? All right, I'll give you that.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57You might get one of these on your back for doing a good job.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00- I'm the "P"?- YES!
0:23:00 > 0:23:01AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Why do you keep giving him "A"?
0:23:05 > 0:23:06Do that!
0:23:08 > 0:23:09IAIN GROANS
0:23:09 > 0:23:11# The holly and the... # ?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Ivy.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15- You're "I".- Am I "I"?- You're "I".
0:23:15 > 0:23:18What are you...? "I".
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- I'm a dancing "I".- But why have you got your arms out like a "T"?
0:23:21 > 0:23:24I'm a capital "I" - it's the beginning of the word.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Where's the bottom bit?
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Look.- Turn your feet outward.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30You need these to row a boat.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- BELL RINGS FIN AND CHRIS:- Oar.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Aw, time's up.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36OK, Fin's team, well done.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40Summer's team, please make your way to whatever we're calling this today.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Ed, do you understand how words work?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Better than Dominique, I hope.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Good. Summer, how would you do an "A"?
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Oh, my days. OK...
0:23:54 > 0:23:56I wish I hadn't asked.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Alex?- Hiya.- Are you all right, mate?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I feel like I'm coming into your house, but you're very showbiz.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Ta-da!
0:24:03 > 0:24:06OK, your time starts when I ask the first question. Here we go...
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Big part of an elephant's face, small part of a mouse's face.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11- Ear?- Yes.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17An "A"! AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Bonus gold star to Summer.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22OK, one of these stopped me getting food down me onesie.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- Bib.- Yes.- I'm an "I".
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Let's see who does the best "B"...
0:24:30 > 0:24:32LAUGHTER
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Correct, correct, correct.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42# ..a deer, a female deer. # ?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44- Doe.- Doe. Yes.- Doe, a deer.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- What am I?- An "O"... I mean, come on. "O".
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Looks like you're meditating and pooing at the same time.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56The part of your jacket that has tiny little teeth.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57- Zip!- Zip!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Oh, I see a peach of a "Z".
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Do a "Z", Ed.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04ED GRUNTS, AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Keep your arm a bit lower.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Well done.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11You might put an egg in this.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13- Bap?- Bap?!
0:25:13 > 0:25:14Cup, cup.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18No, the "C" is not curvy enough, Ed.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- Nope, still not curvy enough. - Get down!
0:25:20 > 0:25:23That's better. There we go, I'll give you that.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Opposite of her.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- Him!- Him!
0:25:27 > 0:25:29LAUGHTER
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Put your arms like this.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Alex, I'll give you the point if you do it facing the other way round.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40Just do it, just do it.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44There we go.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45HE GROANS
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Oh, no-one's got to see that.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49- Not he, but...- Him?
0:25:49 > 0:25:53- No, not he. "Oh, it's not 'he', that's embarrassing."- She!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55What...?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58- What was the?- She!- She!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Oh, Alex missed it! Alex missed it.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02THEY BICKER
0:26:02 > 0:26:05All right, guys, give them a round of applause. Job well done.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:10 > 0:26:13So, at the end of that round,
0:26:13 > 0:26:18I can tell you that the gold star goes to...
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Summer's team!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:28 > 0:26:30And that's just about that.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32All that remains is for me to add up the scores,
0:26:32 > 0:26:36so let's bring down the stars.
0:26:36 > 0:26:41STARS TINKLE, AUDIENCE GASPS So the winners today are...
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Summer's team!
0:26:43 > 0:26:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- Oh, my God.- Yes!- Yes!
0:26:47 > 0:26:53Congratulations, you have a lifetime supply of feeling excellent.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Unfortunately for Fin's team, you have a fate worse than
0:26:56 > 0:26:59gym in your pants - it's detention with Mr Smash.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Time for you to take the walk of shame.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Loser!
0:27:04 > 0:27:06- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Loser!
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- # La-la-la, la-la-la - Loser!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# Losers. #
0:27:10 > 0:27:13So, guys, that's your lot. Hopefully, catch you again soon.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15As ever, we didn't learn much, but I tell you what -
0:27:15 > 0:27:17it was fun trying.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19See you all next time on...
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- ALL:- The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25HIGH-PITCHED: See ya!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28MUSIC PLAYS
0:27:28 > 0:27:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE