0:00:02 > 0:00:04CHEERING
0:00:07 > 0:00:09BOOING
0:00:09 > 0:00:10HE YELLS
0:00:14 > 0:00:16GARBLED SPEECH
0:00:19 > 0:00:20PTERODACTYL SCREECHES
0:00:22 > 0:00:24SHARK CRUNCHES
0:00:24 > 0:00:25WHISTLING
0:00:29 > 0:00:31DRAGON ROARS
0:00:31 > 0:00:33BEEPING
0:00:35 > 0:00:37ROARING
0:00:39 > 0:00:41DOG MUNCHES
0:00:46 > 0:00:48CHEERING
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Hello, I'm Iain Stirling,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework, where there's games,
0:00:57 > 0:01:01dancing elephants on stilts playing the banjo, and...
0:01:01 > 0:01:02What? Sorry, what?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05The elephants have...? They're stuck in traffic?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07OK.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09No... Sorry, well, we don't have elephants,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13but we do have a whole load of fun, so let's take the register.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17On my right, a boy whose school issued a food allergy warning
0:01:17 > 0:01:20after hiring a robotic dinner lady.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21His food may contain nuts...
0:01:21 > 0:01:23and bolts.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- It's Isaac!- Here, sir.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27APPLAUSE
0:01:27 > 0:01:29And on Isaac's team,
0:01:29 > 0:01:32a comedian who discovered you can do comedy underwater,
0:01:32 > 0:01:34because the bubbles mean that people are laughing.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Yeah, they might also be doing something else, Johnny.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39It's Johnny Cochran, everyone.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41APPLAUSE
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Also on Isaac's team,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47a comedian who once performed at a gig on the top of Mount Everest.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50It started well, but then went down...
0:01:50 > 0:01:51downhill.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54It's Katia Kvinge.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56- Here, sir. - APPLAUSE
0:01:56 > 0:01:58And on my left,
0:01:58 > 0:02:00a girl who was once locked in the school library.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03She would have shouted for help, but the sign said, "Quiet, please."
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- It's Grace.- Here, sir.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06APPLAUSE
0:02:06 > 0:02:08And on Grace's team,
0:02:08 > 0:02:12a man who knows his stand-up routine so well, he can do it in his sleep,
0:02:12 > 0:02:15and sometimes even the audience watch in their sleep.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- It's Steve Bugeja.- Here, sir. - APPLAUSE
0:02:18 > 0:02:20And finally, on Grace's team,
0:02:20 > 0:02:22a comedian described as the best thing since sliced bread.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25If you leave him out too long, he does go mouldy.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It one half of Johnny and Inel. It's Inel Tomlinson.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- Here, sir. - APPLAUSE
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Guys, please give it up for both of today's teams.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:38 > 0:02:41"So, how does it all work?" I hear you ask.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Well, I'm going to tell you now.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Basically, the shirt, that's sort of to complement my eyes,
0:02:45 > 0:02:46and the glasses,
0:02:46 > 0:02:50they sort of suggest intelligent and handsome, but I'm not...
0:02:50 > 0:02:53What? Oh, how does the game work? Sorry.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54I thought you meant my outfit.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59The teams play games to get some of these golden stars.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Bonus stars are awarded for being extra-intelligent.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Might be a struggle with today's panel.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11But any monkey business and I'll take your stars away.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Awww!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Hey, don't give me any of that. I've got a catchphrase.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17It's Iain's school, so it's...
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Iain's rules.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22The team with the most stars at the end of the show are the winners,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25while the losers face detention with a man so scary,
0:03:25 > 0:03:28only an idiot would say his name.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29It's Mr Smash.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33HE YELLS
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Huh?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Uh?!
0:03:38 > 0:03:40MR SMASH CHUCKLES
0:03:46 > 0:03:48MR SMASH LAUGHS
0:03:48 > 0:03:50HE KISSES
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- Er, Smash?- Huh?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Do you know why the dog was grooming himself with the comb?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- Uh!- It's because he's got fleas.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00- Huh?- Fleas.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02MR SMASH YELLS
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Let's get on with the show!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Time now for Stick To The Point.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19'Stick To The Point.'
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I'll ask questions, and if our teams are too slow to repeat an answer
0:04:22 > 0:04:24or just panic and have a severe case of windypops,
0:04:24 > 0:04:27I'll put them in the shush position.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Can I see your shush positions, please?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Lovely stuff.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35But first, I need my stick of pointiness!
0:04:35 > 0:04:37GUITAR RIFF
0:04:42 > 0:04:43GUITAR STOPS
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- How was that for you, Steve? - Quite enjoyable.- Good.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I didn't even know it could do that. There you go.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52OK, the last team speaking wins. You all know the rules.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54And the first question is...
0:04:54 > 0:04:56things you'd want in your dream home.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Johnny Cochrane?
0:04:57 > 0:05:02A big television so I can watch The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06- Oooh!- Someone just earned himself a bonus gold star.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07- AUDIENCE:- Ooooh!
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Steve?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- Swimming pool.- Yes. Johnny?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13An Iain Stirling calendar.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Available in all good shops.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19In the bargain bin.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Take the stars away. Take the stars away.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Gold star away! Gold star away!
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Do you know what? It was reduced for...
0:05:29 > 0:05:32There was a printing error and they were half-price,
0:05:32 > 0:05:34but that was not due to demand.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Grace?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- A fingerprint recognition thing. - Yes! Inel?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- A big garage so you can put all your sports cars in it.- Yes! Isaac?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Having a cardboard cutout of Iain Stirling himself
0:05:46 > 0:05:49so you can admire his hair.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Thank you. You've got yourself a bonus gold star.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Inel?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56A talking front door.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58So, like, when you get home, he's like...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- POSH VOICE: - "Oh, good to see you, Inel."
0:06:00 > 0:06:03And then he opens up and you're like, "Nice one, door."
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Would you have a posh front door? - Yeah, obviously.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I have a really angry Scottish front door.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Like, "Oh, what do you want now?!"
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Katia?
0:06:12 > 0:06:14A slide that goes upstairs to downstairs.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- How do you get back up again? - Um... Crawl up?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Steve?
0:06:20 > 0:06:23A bunk bed. I've never had one, really want one. I just think...
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Your dream house, a bunk bed?
0:06:26 > 0:06:28- They look amazing.- Katia?
0:06:28 > 0:06:29A dial to change the weather,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32so if it's raining outside, I can make it sunny inside.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33That's called a roof.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Fine, I'll give you that. Your dream house has a roof.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Johnny?
0:06:39 > 0:06:40A swimming pool.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44We've had swimming pool. Get in the shush position. Isaac?
0:06:44 > 0:06:48Have an all-you-can-eat buffet so you can bathe yourself in food.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Yes, please. Steve?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- BUZZER Shush position, please.- Ohh!- Katia?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Um...
0:06:54 > 0:06:57BUZZER Shush position. Grace?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- A wig parlour.- A wig parlour?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02A wig parlour so you can get loads of free wigs
0:07:02 > 0:07:06and then when you're going out to do your business, then...
0:07:06 > 0:07:09LAUGHTER
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Humphrey! I am off to do some business.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Fetch me a wig from the parlour.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Inel?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19- Heated floors...- Inel? - ..so you don't have to wear shoes.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- Inel?- And then you'll have, like, a robe that is also heated
0:07:22 > 0:07:24so you don't even have to wear clothes.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27- Inel?- And then once you take off that robe,
0:07:27 > 0:07:30all the towels are heated, cos you have a warm towel rack.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32- Inel?- And then that towel rack
0:07:32 > 0:07:35is connected to all the metal things in your house,
0:07:35 > 0:07:36so everything's warm.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Inel?- So you don't even have to put the heating on,
0:07:38 > 0:07:39cos the heating's always on.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- Inel?- But even when it comes to summertime,
0:07:41 > 0:07:43you go outside, cos you've got a water fountain.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- Inel?- And then after that, the water fountain dries up,
0:07:46 > 0:07:48cos, obviously, it's summer, and all the water's going to go.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51That's when you just... drink water.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Well played. Isaac?
0:07:56 > 0:07:58A heated radiator where you can fall asleep...
0:07:58 > 0:08:00We've already had heated things. BUZZER
0:08:00 > 0:08:02So, Isaac, shush position, please.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- Gold star goes to Grace's team. - Yeah!
0:08:06 > 0:08:07BELL RINGS
0:08:07 > 0:08:08That is the school bell.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11At the end of that round, I can tell you it's a draw,
0:08:11 > 0:08:13so you both get a gold star.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14APPLAUSE
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Time now for Mime Craft.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24'Mime Craft.'
0:08:24 > 0:08:26In this round, one member of each team
0:08:26 > 0:08:29has to act out an activity for the others to guess,
0:08:29 > 0:08:33activities which will appear on the one, the only,
0:08:33 > 0:08:35the magnificent flippy thing.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38'The flippy thing.'
0:08:38 > 0:08:41OK, today, the subject is animals.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Isaac, who from your team do you want to see miming?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48I will have, um...Katia.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52Katia, please make your way to the Mime Spot.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54'The Mime Spot.'
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Your time starts when Isaac turns over the card.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59Isaac, when you're ready.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01HOOTER Here we go.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Rarr!
0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Lion.- Lion.- Yes.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Next one.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Um...
0:09:06 > 0:09:08SHE STUTTERS Act it out.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10INDISTINCT SPEECH
0:09:10 > 0:09:12- Imagine...- Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'll be a tree.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14- A rhino.- Woodpecker.- Yes!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Um... Ooh! Um...
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I've got a really long neck.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- Giraffe?- Yeah.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Miming. You got to remember to mime.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh, I'm so slow. I can't go fast.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Mime! It's Mime Craft. It's called Mime Craft.- Sorry!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Tortoise.- Yes, correct. Next one.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Mime it!- Um...
0:09:36 > 0:09:37Mime it! Mime it!
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- Look, that's miming.- Squirrel.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Meerkat.- Yes!- Meerkat, yes!
0:09:41 > 0:09:43- Um... OK.- There we go.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- Oh, so slow.- A snail.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- Snail?- Snail, yes.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49OK. Um...
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- Moo! Moo!- Mime it!
0:09:52 > 0:09:54You're meant to mime it!
0:09:54 > 0:09:55Moo. Moo.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Cow. Cow.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58- What is it?- Cow?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- Yes!- Cow, cow.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Bzzzz!- Bee?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- No.- Bee? - BUZZER
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Oh! Time's up. Let's hear it for Katia, everyone.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11- We were after fly.- Some have got to be disallowed.- Yeah.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13It's Iain's school, so it's...
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- AUDIENCE:- Iain's rules.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Grace, you've got a lot to live up to.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Who are you going to go with, Inel or Steve?
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- Steve.- OK, Steve, please take your place at the Mime Spot.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26'The Mime Spot.'
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Steve, your time starts when Grace flips the first one.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Grace, in your own time, please.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34- Are you ready?- I am so ready.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Go. HOOTER
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- Kangaroo?- What?!- Er...
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Oh!- Horse.- Yes!
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Good laugh. Um...
0:10:44 > 0:10:45- Ooh-ooh!- Dolphin.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Did you get that?! How did you get that?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Oh, right, um...
0:10:50 > 0:10:52- Kangaroo.- Smaller than a kangaroo.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54It's not the right one.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Wallaby. No. Er...
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Do the ears.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- There we go.- Rabbit.- Rabbit.- Yes!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Why are you jumping around? Just do that.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I thought rabbits jumped more. These ones do!
0:11:06 > 0:11:08- Kangaroo.- No.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Ribbit, ribbit.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- Frog.- Yes! JOHNNY:- With sound.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15- A fish.- Fish.- Yes!
0:11:15 > 0:11:17No, wait, wait.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Kangaroo.- Yes! Finally, kangaroo came!
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Oh, I'm so pretty.- Wait, wait, wait.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Start as a thing. Do the... Do the whole thing.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- Butterfly.- Yes!
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- We've done this! - What are you doing?!
0:11:33 > 0:11:37- I wanted to do the whole character. - Wants his gold star.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Um... Er...
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- Tortoise.- It's... Just point at the show!
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- Point at the show!- Dog. Dog! Dog.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Get on the floor.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Snake.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49BELL RINGS Yes! Just in time.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- High-five.- What an effort!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Katia, that was called miming.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01I can tell you that at the end of that round,
0:12:01 > 0:12:04the team with the most right answers and get themselves a gold star is...
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Grace's team.- Yes!
0:12:06 > 0:12:09APPLAUSE
0:12:13 > 0:12:16It's time now for Pie The Supply.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18'Pie The Supply.'
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Well, bless my bottom if it hasn't happened again.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Four more people have waltzed into the studio,
0:12:24 > 0:12:27all claiming to be real technical teachers,
0:12:27 > 0:12:29but only one is telling the truth.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Can our teams spot the impostors?
0:12:31 > 0:12:35I hope so, or else it's the end of civilisation.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Or just... It's a bit embarrassing.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40So, here are today's technical teachers.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Teacher one, Mr Black.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Teacher two, Mrs Maine.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Teacher three, Mr Maxwell.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Or teacher four, Mrs Gracie.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55'School disco!'
0:12:55 > 0:12:56School disco!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:20 > 0:13:21RECORD SCRATCHES
0:13:22 > 0:13:24- Isaac.- Mm?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27First impressions, what are you thinking?
0:13:27 > 0:13:28- Number one.- Number one?
0:13:28 > 0:13:32He just smiled at me, and that's not a good sign.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Number one's doing the "please don't hurt me" smile.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38What about the rest of the team? Johnny, what are you thinking?
0:13:38 > 0:13:41I think it could be number one.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43He looks like he might have those kind of skills
0:13:43 > 0:13:46that a technical teacher might have.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Don't nod your head!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50You're trying to get not pied.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54OK, Grace's team, first impressions?
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Maybe three,
0:13:55 > 0:13:58because you look like the woodwork teacher in my school.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Yeah, that's like a man.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02If it is the woodwork teacher in your school,
0:14:02 > 0:14:04do say, cos that would make it a lot easier.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Number three, he's got the big hands.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07He's been, like, lifting up pinewood,
0:14:07 > 0:14:09putting it in the pillar drill.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Just making shelves and stuff.- Yeah.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Doesn't make a shelf. Looks at a shelf, shelf goes on the wall.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16"Get up there!"
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Grace's team, have you got any questions for our teachers?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21I was thinking, if they're DT teachers,
0:14:21 > 0:14:23they'd have quite a good knowledge of DT stuff,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25so I thought we'd just do a quick quiz of just one of them,
0:14:25 > 0:14:26just catch them off-guard.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Number four, what's your favourite type of screw?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Um...
0:14:31 > 0:14:33- Star screw.- Yeah, fair enough, yeah.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- Is that one?- I don't know.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37LAUGHTER
0:14:37 > 0:14:39It sounds right.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Isaac's team.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44I think the DT teachers will be quite heavy on safety.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Yeah, they will be.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49So shall we ask them what rules they impose on their class?
0:14:49 > 0:14:51What safety equipment. Johnny, I'll leave you to it.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- You can ask in any order you wish. - Number two.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57You always need to use working gloves and goggles.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- Working gloves and goggles. OK.- Um...
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Number one.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05An apron to protect you from loose clothing away from the machines.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Cos you just bought a lovely new pair of cords.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- I've got one. - On you go, Grace.- Yeah.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Because DT isn't all about woodwork and stuff,
0:15:16 > 0:15:18I've got some textiles,
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- cos I'm doing textiles at school at the moment.- OK.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24- How do you make cord? - How do you make cord? Number one.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25Um...
0:15:25 > 0:15:27You buy it from a shop.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- APPLAUSE - You sussed him out.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33"Welcome to class, kids.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36"Today's lesson is... throwing money at the problem."
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Number two, how do you make cord?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41How would you make cord?
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I'm asking you!
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Stand you ground, Grace. Stand your ground.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Number three, how do you make cord?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Get the guitar out and strum it.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Ahh!
0:15:51 > 0:15:53APPLAUSE It's a pun!
0:15:53 > 0:15:58Every man in this room's going, "That's going in the notepad."
0:15:58 > 0:16:00And finally, number four.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02In my day, we used to intertwine it,
0:16:02 > 0:16:04but you get a machine that can do that now.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- AUDIENCE:- Oooh! - We've had the questions.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09We've had our first impressions. Audience, what do you think?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Someone is a real technical teacher. Who is it?
0:16:11 > 0:16:13This is your chance to make your voices heard.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15On the count of three, what teacher, one, two, three or four?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Vote now.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19AUDIENCE SHOUT OUT
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Lots of twos and fours.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27But, Isaac, what do you think? It is decision time.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Who lied and who's about to get pied?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Isaac, it's time to pie the supply.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36'Pie The Supply.'
0:16:36 > 0:16:38You pie away, son.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Who is it going to be?
0:16:40 > 0:16:43That's a lot of cream on that pie.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47- ALL:- Ohh...
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Who is it going to be?
0:16:52 > 0:16:53No!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Number four got pied.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Grace, I've got a feeling
0:17:04 > 0:17:07you've been looking forward to this all day.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09It's time to pie the supply.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10'Pie The Supply.'
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Gently, Grace. Let's do this. Come on.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16There's a lot of cream on that pie. Here we go.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Grace, here we go. Gently, Grace.
0:17:18 > 0:17:24- They're nervous.- You two may need to kneel down a bit.- Oh-ho-ho!
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- ALL:- Ohh...
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Who's it going to be?
0:17:37 > 0:17:38Right, let's find out.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Would the real technical teacher please step forward?
0:17:44 > 0:17:45No!
0:17:45 > 0:17:49APPLAUSE
0:17:49 > 0:17:51No!
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Three and four, what do you do?
0:17:53 > 0:17:54- Fireman.- Fireman!
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- I knew it! - What do you do, number four?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Retired doctor.- A doctor!
0:18:02 > 0:18:05We've pied a fireman and a doctor!
0:18:05 > 0:18:06- ISAAC:- Yeah!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Isaac's delighted!
0:18:10 > 0:18:12At the end of that round,
0:18:12 > 0:18:15no-one got a gold star, but two people got pied in the face.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16APPLAUSE
0:18:21 > 0:18:24It's now time for High School Dropout.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26'High School Dropout.'
0:18:26 > 0:18:30In a moment, two of our brave panellists will go head-to-head
0:18:30 > 0:18:34on the now almost world-famous Dog Ate My Homework drop zone.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Whilst standing on their bins, our fearless guests will have to answer
0:18:42 > 0:18:44some pretty tricky general knowledge questions.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48The first to get three wrong is binned.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Isaac, who do you want to get binned?
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- Katia.- OK, Katia it is.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59Grace, who do you want to see stood on a bin?
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Well, no-one, really, but if I had to choose...
0:19:05 > 0:19:10- Thanks, Grace!- No-one, really, but she seems pretty happy about it.
0:19:10 > 0:19:15OK, Katia, Steve, please make your way to the bins.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21OK, remember, guys,
0:19:21 > 0:19:25get three questions wrong and you are high school dropped!
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Remember, you can confer with your team-mates.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- Isaac's team, you're up first, so Katia...- Right.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- ..first question.- Yeah.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Which of these is a real colour of paint...
0:19:37 > 0:19:39A, burnt bagel,
0:19:39 > 0:19:42or B, whispering peach?
0:19:42 > 0:19:44- What do you think? - I think whispering peach.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Whispering peach.- Whispering.- Yeah.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- You think whispering peach?- Yeah.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- You sure?- I... Yeah.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52I can tell you the real colour is...
0:19:52 > 0:19:54B, whispering peach.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- GRACE:- Ooh, she's lucky. - I know!
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Steve Bugeja...- Yes?
0:20:00 > 0:20:01First question.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Who is older...
0:20:03 > 0:20:06A, Ant, or B, Dec?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- Which one's which?- Inel...
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Inel...- Which one's which? Grace, come on. It's my legs at stake.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15This question could be, "Who is Ant, who is Dec?" and still not...
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- "I don't know!" - Dec is the shorter one.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Ant is the taller one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23I don't... I don't know. It's up to you.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Well, I'm going to use the logic that he's taller,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27so he must be older. Um...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30What, like he's a plant?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Yes. Ant is older than Dec.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35I can tell you...
0:20:35 > 0:20:38the older one is...
0:20:38 > 0:20:39- Dec!- Ohh!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Ohh!
0:20:41 > 0:20:45- Steve, you go from green to amber. - Ohh, that's a blow.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46That's a blow.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49OK, Katia, you're currently in the lead.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51What weighs more...
0:20:51 > 0:20:53A, pure gold,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56or B, pure silver?
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Ohh.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59I think it will be gold.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Why, Johnny? Why?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- Why?!- Um...
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Because I know the answer, cos in the periodic table,
0:21:06 > 0:21:11gold is at the right end, where it would weigh more, so...
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- I mean, let's just say... - Not funny, but it's true.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15No-one saw Johnny saying that.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19This might be cheating,
0:21:19 > 0:21:22but I think I should have brought my own periodic table.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Speak for yourself, Isaac.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I've got mine in my pocket right now.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28So, you think gold. What do you think, Katia?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Let's go for gold. - You're going for gold.- Yeah.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33And I can tell you that that was...
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Gold.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36..a good decision, it's correct.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Ohh...
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Steve...
0:21:40 > 0:21:44I'm not going to lie to you, mate. It's not looking good.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46The world's first-ever phone call
0:21:46 > 0:21:49was made by the inventor of the telephone, Alexander Graham Bell,
0:21:49 > 0:21:51to his assistant, Thomas Watson.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53What did he say?
0:21:54 > 0:21:59A, "Mr Watson, can you come here, please?"
0:21:59 > 0:22:02or, "Mr Watson, come here, I want to see you"?
0:22:02 > 0:22:06I think it's A, and it's more polite. Do you think that, Grace?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Sure.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- OK.- OK, you said A.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12I can tell you
0:22:12 > 0:22:16that Alexander Graham Bell picked up the phone in 1876
0:22:16 > 0:22:20and said to his assistant, Thomas Watson, he said,
0:22:20 > 0:22:22"Mr Watson,
0:22:22 > 0:22:24"come here, I want to see you."
0:22:24 > 0:22:26You're wrong!
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Get him in the bin!
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Steve has gone straight into the red zone after two questions.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35You are one question away from the drop.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Right, Katia, here we go.- Yep.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Let's keep the questions easy, OK?
0:22:39 > 0:22:44In 2009, a search for the Loch Ness monster came up empty.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47What did scientists find, though?
0:22:47 > 0:22:52Over 100,000 golf balls or 100,000 shoes?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- Ohh!- Um...
0:22:54 > 0:22:57I think it might be shoes, just because...
0:22:57 > 0:23:00they'd need to be playing golf by Loch Ness all the time
0:23:00 > 0:23:02to get that many balls,
0:23:02 > 0:23:05and there's more likely to be shoes that have been thrown in.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07What do you think, Isaac? Shoes or balls?
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- Shoes.- Shoes.- Shoes? - Are you going to go with your team?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- Yeah.- We're locking that in.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Was it golf balls?
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- Near several golf courses.- Is it?
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Or was it 100,000 shoes?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23I can tell you the answer is...
0:23:23 > 0:23:24golf balls.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28- Ahh!- You're incorrect. You go into the amber zone, Katia.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- OK.- Steve, we now come to you.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35You have yet to get an answer right.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38I'm aware of the scores, Iain.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40If you don't get this, you're getting...
0:23:40 > 0:23:42In fact, just before we...
0:23:42 > 0:23:44- Oh, oh! What you doing there? - Just getting ready.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48I think a responsible adult
0:23:48 > 0:23:50should be in charge of that button, not Iain.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53I am very responsible, actually.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55"Hit it!"
0:23:55 > 0:23:59I love making telly programmes in Scotland.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01"Hit it!" Should I hit it!
0:24:01 > 0:24:03STEVE SHOUTS OUT
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- What...?- I feel sick.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09What is greater,
0:24:09 > 0:24:12the total weight of all the humans on Earth
0:24:12 > 0:24:16or the total weight of all the ants on Earth?
0:24:16 > 0:24:17God.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20I think humans is the obvious answer, because we're bigger.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Is that...? I'm joking.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25- I'm joking. - So, wait, what do you guys think?
0:24:25 > 0:24:29- I...- I mean, I haven't seen any ants in a long time.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32And you're saying all of them weigh heavier...
0:24:32 > 0:24:35I have a feeling I might see a few in a minute.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- Um...- Personally, Steve, I would go with humans.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- I'd go with ants. - But, obviously, it's up to you.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41Grace is going with ants.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45- This is genuinely the most nervous thing I've ever done.- Me or Grace.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47No, I think I'm going to go with what I initially...
0:24:47 > 0:24:49I agree with Grace.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51I don't think Inel knows what he's talking about.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53So...
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Ants are heavier.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58You think the total weight of ants on Earth
0:24:58 > 0:25:00is heavier than the total weight of humans on Earth?
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Is that what do you think? - I don't know!
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Don't forget, bend your knees.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Oh, don't do this!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Just to be clear, I didn't think that.- OK...
0:25:13 > 0:25:15- I can tell you...- No!
0:25:17 > 0:25:19- ..that the answer... - Mum, I love you!
0:25:19 > 0:25:21And Dad.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23And brother.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26..the answer written on this card,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29here, in ink,
0:25:29 > 0:25:30is...
0:25:30 > 0:25:32the total weight of humans.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34You're wrong!
0:25:36 > 0:25:37What?!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Steve, are you OK?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46No!
0:25:47 > 0:25:51- Katia, the good news is, you're on amber.- I know. Feels good.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53The only way, Katia, you could get dropped...
0:25:53 > 0:25:55- Please don't. - I mean, there's no way.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57There's no way you can get dropped.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- Unless the audience said...- No! - ..you were to get dropped.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01AUDIENCE SHOUT OUT
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- AUDIENCE:- Drop, drop, drop, drop. - I'm not having it.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07AUDIENCE CONTINUE SHOUTING I can't hear you!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Drop, drop, drop...
0:26:09 > 0:26:10HE SHOUTS
0:26:17 > 0:26:18There you go.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21At the end of that round, the winning team is Isaac's team.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22They get themselves a gold star.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24APPLAUSE
0:26:30 > 0:26:31And that's just about it.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35All I need to do now is add up the scores.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- ALL:- Ooh...
0:26:46 > 0:26:49And the winners are...
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Grace's team!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52CHEERING
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Get in! Yeah!
0:26:56 > 0:26:57Congratulations, you lot.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00You go down in history, and I might chuck in a free pen.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03As for Isaac's team, not only has the dog ate your homework,
0:27:03 > 0:27:06but you have got detention with Mr Smash.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09It's time to take the Walk Of Shame.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11# La, la, la, la-la-la Losers
0:27:11 > 0:27:13# La, la, la, la-la-la, losers
0:27:13 > 0:27:15# La, la, la, la-la-la Losers
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# La, la, la, la-la-la, losers
0:27:17 > 0:27:19# La, la, la, la-la-la Losers
0:27:19 > 0:27:21# Losers. #
0:27:21 > 0:27:22So, that's your lot.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25As ever, we didn't learn much, but do you know what?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28It was fun trying. See you next time on...
0:27:28 > 0:27:31- AUDIENCE:- The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Sees ya!