0:00:02 > 0:00:04MR SMASH LAUGHS
0:00:10 > 0:00:12MR SMASH GROANS
0:00:14 > 0:00:16SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:00:41 > 0:00:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:57 > 0:01:02Hello, I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06All aboard my comedy rocket and we'll blast off amongst the stars.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09PARP Oh, they do hate it when I do that.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11It absolutely stinks!
0:01:11 > 0:01:14A little fart joke there, just to kick things off.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Let's take the register.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20On my right, a boy whose biology class project is to make
0:01:20 > 0:01:22a human arm from papier-mache.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25He's almost there, but someone should give him a hand.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- It's Joseph.- Here, sir.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29APPLAUSE
0:01:29 > 0:01:33And on Joseph's team, a presenter on Taking The Next Step
0:01:33 > 0:01:37who's hoping his next step today won't be detention with Mr Smash.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- It's Sam Nixon!- Here, sir.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41APPLAUSE
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Also on Joseph's team,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47a comedian originally from Japan, the Land of the Rising Sun.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50I'm from Scotland, the land of absolutely no sun.
0:01:50 > 0:01:55- It's the wonderful Yuriko Kotani, everybody.- Here, sir.
0:01:56 > 0:02:02And to my left, is a girl who once started a Mexican wave in assembly.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04The teachers were up in arms.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- It's Aqos, everybody.- Yes, sir.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12And on Aqos's team, a presenter who... Wait a second.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16..a presenter who gets so much fan mail.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Look at that! Oh, no, wait.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20That Sam's, it's for Sam.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- AUDIENCE:- Ah...
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- Mark, yours is just here.- What?!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27LAUGHTER
0:02:27 > 0:02:29I'll take that, I'll take that.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- From Sam & Mark, it's Mark Rhodes, everyone.- Here, sir.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35APPLAUSE
0:02:35 > 0:02:39Last but not least, we have a comedian and a very talented singer
0:02:39 > 0:02:43which means, along with Sam & Mark, on the show today,
0:02:43 > 0:02:46we have a talented singer.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- It's Charlie Baker.- Here, sir.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Please, round of applause for today's teams.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57APPLAUSE
0:02:57 > 0:03:01As usual, our teams are here and hungry -
0:03:01 > 0:03:06hungry to win these, my delicious gold stars.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11I say delicious - I've never actually tried one.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14I wonder what they taste like. Let's have a...
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Oh, lemony!
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Whoa, pineappley!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Ooh, jaggy.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23BURP
0:03:23 > 0:03:25LAUGHTER
0:03:25 > 0:03:27BURP
0:03:27 > 0:03:28LAUGHTER
0:03:28 > 0:03:30BURP
0:03:31 > 0:03:33BURP
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I'm never going to do that ever again.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I'll award bonus stars for anyone who's extra quippy
0:03:39 > 0:03:42but, be warned - if you're extra lippy,
0:03:42 > 0:03:44I can shoo those gold stars away.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Get away, get away. Shoo, shoo.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Get out my house, get out my house. You've not paid rent.
0:03:48 > 0:03:54OK, you can moan, you can groan, but please do not phone,
0:03:54 > 0:03:56because it's in school, so it's...
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- AUDIENCE:- Iain's rules!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01The team with the most stars at the end of the show are the winners,
0:04:01 > 0:04:04while the losers face detention with a man so scary
0:04:04 > 0:04:08he's why the Loch Ness Monster stays hidden.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- AUDIENCE:- Ah...
0:04:10 > 0:04:12It's Mr Smash.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14MR SMASH LAUGHS
0:04:14 > 0:04:17SNAKE CHARMER FLUTE PLAYS
0:04:17 > 0:04:20MR SMASH GRUNTS AND LAUGHS
0:04:24 > 0:04:27SNAKE CHARMER FLUTE PLAYS
0:04:39 > 0:04:40HE SNEEZES
0:04:40 > 0:04:43LAUGHTER
0:04:47 > 0:04:50LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Mr Smash is a real charmer! So, guys, let's get on with the show!
0:04:57 > 0:05:01APPLAUSE
0:05:02 > 0:05:04General knowledge now and Watch Your Mouth.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- VOICEOVER:- Watch Your Mouth!
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Yes, our teams have to try and talk properly
0:05:08 > 0:05:11whilst they have one of these in their pie holes.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15It is a Mr Smash growl-maker.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18So, teams, please insert your growl-makers.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22There you go. Lovely stuff.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26You got yours in, Charlie?
0:05:26 > 0:05:28- CHARLIE MUMBLES:- Not everyone can pull it off.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30- Sorry, what?- Not everyone...
0:05:30 > 0:05:32LAUGHTER
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I said not everyone can pull the look off but I think I've got it.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Let's have a look.
0:05:38 > 0:05:43OK, there's only one rule - try not to drool. Fingers on buzzers.
0:05:43 > 0:05:48Your first question is, complete the lyrics from this hit Adele song.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51"Hello from the other side, I must have..."
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- VOICEOVER:- Joseph. - Called 1,000 times.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57You look like me but young.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58LAUGHTER
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Fingers on buzzers. Which type of cheese
0:06:10 > 0:06:13traditionally made from buffalo milk is often used...?
0:06:13 > 0:06:14- Aqos.- Aqos?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Cheddar?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- Joseph.- I'll hand it over.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Mozzarella. - LAUGHTER
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- Mozzarella.- There you go.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28OK, and for a bonus, we want three other types of cheese. One each.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- 'Rie. - LAUGHTER
0:06:31 > 0:06:33You don't do Bs.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- 'Rie. - LAUGHTER
0:06:35 > 0:06:37For the point, you need the B.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Red Leicester.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:47 > 0:06:50OK, next one. Joseph?
0:06:50 > 0:06:54- Stinky.- Stinky, well done. Great. And Yuriko?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- 'Lue cheese.- One more time?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- 'Lue... - LAUGHTER
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Cheddar.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Do you know what, I'll give it you, I'll give it you.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Fingers on your buzzers.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13What name is given to the chewy gum-like substance
0:07:13 > 0:07:15that you can blow into bubbles?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17- Joseph.- There you go, Joseph.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Uggle gum. - LAUGHTER
0:07:20 > 0:07:22I need that B off you.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- Uggle gum.- Uggle gum.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28OK, I'll give you that. And for a bonus point...
0:07:28 > 0:07:30LAUGHTER
0:07:30 > 0:07:34- Oh, no, no! No! - Can you blow me a bubble?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43He's going to do it.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44LAUGHTER
0:07:44 > 0:07:46I've got a piece that's not been on the floor.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- I'll leave it with you. - Come back to me.- Yeah, OK.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53OK, next question.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58In which country would you find the bonny, bonny banks of Loch Lomond?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- Aqos.- Aqos's team.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- Scotland.- Scotland.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03Scotland, yes.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06For a bonus point, for all three of you, we'll start with Mark,
0:08:06 > 0:08:11can I please hear your best Scottish accent?
0:08:11 > 0:08:15- HE MUMBLES IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: - Hey, there, I'm from Scotland.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- LAUGHTER - And I wear a kilt.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Lovely stuff. - Was that good?- Yeah, that's good.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Aqos, Scottish accent.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: - Hey, there, I'm from Scotland.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Do you know what? That's exactly what we say!
0:08:31 > 0:08:35And finally, Captain Offensive, Charlie Baker.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- IN SCOTTISH ACCENT:- Ha! Hello there.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42LAUGHTER
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Have you had your tea? Have you had your tea?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Have you had your tea?
0:08:53 > 0:08:57You can have that. Sam, how's the bubble going?
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Come on, Sam!
0:09:00 > 0:09:04CHEERING
0:09:07 > 0:09:09That's a bonus gold star as well. Well done.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:09:12 > 0:09:13Fingers on buzzers.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17- In computing, what does "WWW" stand for?- Joseph.- Joseph's team.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19World...wide...web.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24World...wide...web.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Final one, final one, final one.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30What is the largest body of water on the planet?
0:09:30 > 0:09:31- Joseph.- Joseph's team.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- Pacific.- Is correct.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36BELL RINGS
0:09:36 > 0:09:40OK, at the end of that round, the gold star goes to...
0:09:41 > 0:09:43..Joseph's team!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Time now for Lunchbox Of Lies.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- VOICEOVER:- Lunchbox Of Lies!
0:09:54 > 0:09:58In a moment, I'll ask each member of a team to describe
0:09:58 > 0:10:01the weird and wonderful contents of their lunchbox.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04However, one lunchbox is completely empty,
0:10:04 > 0:10:08meaning that one of the teams is telling a big juicy whopper.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Other forms of deception are available.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13All the teams have to do is guess who's fibbing
0:10:13 > 0:10:18about what's in their box. So, we'll start with Joseph's team.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Sam, you're up first.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Please open your box and tell us the contents that are there within.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25In my lunchbox,
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I have some popcorn,
0:10:28 > 0:10:33which I like to enjoy whilst watching Iain Stirling's live DVD,
0:10:33 > 0:10:36which is called U OK Hun?
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Joseph, please tell us what's in your lunchbox.
0:10:41 > 0:10:47Ooh, OK. So, believe it or not, there's a snake wearing red lips
0:10:47 > 0:10:51and, ooh, false eyelashes.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55And I think he's on a bed of jelly snakes.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- That's crazy!- No way, no way.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02And finally, Yuriko, what's in your lunchbox?
0:11:02 > 0:11:09OK, I have an old gym shoe full of marshmallows
0:11:09 > 0:11:13and Brussels sprouts.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16OK, let's get more specific.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20Mark, do you want to ask Sam about what's in his wonderful lunchbox?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- What kind of popcorn is it?- Er...
0:11:23 > 0:11:27- Sweet and salty.- Sweet and salty?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- Yeah, I like the salty and sweet. - Do you?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33And what's the name of Iain's DVD again?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35It is called U OK Hun?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- Without looking as well.- U OK Hun?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40OK, moving on to Joseph.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Have you got any questions for Joseph?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44What flavour jelly snakes?
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Um, there's strawberry and a little bit of lime and some orange.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- Could I have a lime one?- And there's a new one which is lemon.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Oh, a new lemon one, is there? Is there one in there, is there?
0:11:53 > 0:11:57- Um, lemon, yes.- A lemon jelly snake.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Yuriko. Anyone got any questions for Yuriko?
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- Yuriko... - An old gym shoe, I believe.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03An old gym shoe.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Yes.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Is it just one shoe?
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Yes, just one.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12And are the marshmallows within the shoe or in the surrounding area?
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Within the shoe.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- I think...- What are you thinking?
0:12:16 > 0:12:20Aqos, who do you think is the least trustworthy?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Joseph or Sam.- Joseph or Sam. Who are you going to go with?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Team captain, you make the choice.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- Go Sam.- Sam.- Sam? OK, we've gone with Sam.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Show us what you have in your box.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Inside my box, I have...
0:12:35 > 0:12:40..some popcorn and Iain Stirling's DVD, U OK Hun?
0:12:40 > 0:12:44- No!- OK, so let's find out who's lying.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47OK, will you both turn your boxes around?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Let's see who's lying. On the count of three. One, two, three, spin.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54It was Yuriko who was lying.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57You thought it was me.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- She made it up.- Good liar.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05OK, well done, guys. Great lie. Let's go over to Aqos's team.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Guys, I want you to reveal what is inside your lunchbox.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Mark Rhodes, you're up first. Tell us what's inside your lunchbox.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Sam & Mark's debut single...
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- LAUGHTER - Don't laugh, it was great!
0:13:21 > 0:13:26..inside a bowl of jelly.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Lovely stuff. Aqos, please tell us what's in your lunchbox.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33In my lunchbox,
0:13:33 > 0:13:37I have custard and ketchup
0:13:37 > 0:13:41and I have a Barbie doll sitting in a hot dog.
0:13:41 > 0:13:46There you go. And finally, Charlie Baker, what is in your lunchbox?
0:13:46 > 0:13:52In my lunchbox is a Doctor Who mug
0:13:52 > 0:13:56and it's filled with bangers and mash.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Ooh, sausages in a cup - my favourite!
0:13:59 > 0:14:02OK, let's ask some questions. Let's go Mark first.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Sam, you know Mark well.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06What was it encased in again, our debut single?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09It was a bowl of jelly.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- What colour jelly is it? - It's yellow.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14What flavour then, would you say that is?
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Yellow.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19OK, Aqos.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Have you got any questions for Aqos about what's in her box?
0:14:22 > 0:14:26- Where is the Barbie doll? - Where is it?
0:14:26 > 0:14:30It's in the side of the lunchbox.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34I thought you said it was a hot dog earlier.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37It's a Barbie doll in a hot dog.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Is the doll wearing a hot dog?
0:14:41 > 0:14:46No, the doll is wearing a purple dress with gold shoes.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Finally, Charlie Baker. Look, he's a sneaky-looking man.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53But is he being sneaky about his lunchbox?
0:14:54 > 0:14:59One kid just went, "Yes." Ask away. You can ask him what's in it.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01How many bangers are in there?
0:15:01 > 0:15:02There's three bangers.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06That is the minimum amount of bangers required for bangers...
0:15:06 > 0:15:09People who give you two bangers in bangers and mash,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11that is like a starter.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16OK, guys, who do you think is telling the truth
0:15:16 > 0:15:19and who do think's got a lunchbox full of lies?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22I think it's Charlie, but you don't agree, do you?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- Who do you think, Joseph? - I think it's Mark.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- And, Yuriko, who do you think? - I think Mark as well.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- Do you want to go with the majority? - I'm outnumbered.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30- Do you think Mark?- Yeah.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Please reveal what is in your lunchbox.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38It's the brilliant Sam & Mark's debut single inside a bowl of jelly.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41APPLAUSE
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Let's see if you were right, Sam.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45Will Aqos and Charlie please reveal
0:15:45 > 0:15:48which one of you has a lunchbox of lies?
0:15:48 > 0:15:53- The lunchbox of lies! - Oh, it's Charlie Baker!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55APPLAUSE
0:15:55 > 0:15:58And, at the end of that round, nobody got a gold star.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Time now for Pie The Supply.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- VOICEOVER:- Pie The Supply!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11We're about to meet four people, all claiming to be real teachers,
0:16:11 > 0:16:13but only one is telling the truth.
0:16:13 > 0:16:18Our teams have to decide who's not dreaming then give them a creaming.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21And, if both teams fail to identify the real teacher,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24then there will be consequences.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Oh!- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28"Ooh" indeed.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32And today's teachers are all deputy heads.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Ooh!- Let's meet them.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37We have got Ms Tierney,
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Mr Miller,
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Mr Robert Roacher
0:16:42 > 0:16:45and Miss Penfolds.
0:16:45 > 0:16:50OK, guys, we'll start with Joseph, Yuriko, Sam.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54Who looks headteachery, nearly?
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Number three is a dreamboat. I mean, wow!
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Look, look! It's the evolution of me.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Come here.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- AQOS:- Oh, my gosh, yeah, it is!
0:17:05 > 0:17:08YURIKO LAUGHS
0:17:08 > 0:17:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- Very good. - OK, so, first impressions.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- That's all I want, first impressions.- First impressions...
0:17:22 > 0:17:24- What are you thinking? - Aqos, what do you think?
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I'm thinking number four looks like a professional teacher.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Four looks like she's had 14 weeks off a year.- Yeah.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32LAUGHTER
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Right, OK, let's go over to Joseph's team. You can now delve deeper.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Have you got any questions for our teachers? They're deputy heads.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44We don't know anything else about them. Let's find out.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Can I ask, please, if we go down the line of everyone,
0:17:47 > 0:17:49starting with number one,
0:17:49 > 0:17:53if you're deputy head at your school, who is the headmaster?
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- Who is the headmaster?- Yeah, who is the headteacher at your school?
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- You're wanting a name? - Yes, please.- Mr Flynn.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- Mr Flynn.- She said that with the anger of a deputy head.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06She wants that job. She took her time though.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- It was a little bit like, "What's the name of the headmaster?"- What?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12"Are you wanting the name?"
0:18:12 > 0:18:14LAUGHTER
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Number two?
0:18:16 > 0:18:18- Mr Sheridan.- Mr Sheridan. Three?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- Mr Johnson.- Mr Johnson. Number four?
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Mrs Montgomery.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Oh!
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Yuriko, have you got any questions?
0:18:26 > 0:18:32- Where do you see yourself in five years' time?- Yes, here we go!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35OK. We'll go random.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37- Number three?- A teacher, of course.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- OK, number two.- Not teaching.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44Yes! Number four?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46On a beach in the Bahamas, retired.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Oh! Number one?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Number one, taking over Mr Flynn's job, for sure!
0:18:51 > 0:18:55Oh! Here we go. Here we go, guys.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Have you got any questions? - Number two, what do you teach?
0:18:58 > 0:19:02- I know you're deputy head but what do you teach?- PE.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04PE, of course. Look at those shoulders!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07- SAM:- Hang on, wait a minute. Dressed like that? No way!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Where's your tracksuit, man?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Sam, he's got a snooker table booked.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15LAUGHTER
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Bonus gold star, thank you.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22- Very good. Number one, what do you teach?- Geography.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- Geography.- And what schools do you guys work at?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Great question, Aqos.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- St Mary's primary in Edinburgh. - Oh, posh.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36- Number two?- Three is panicking. Number two.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38It's a school in Edinburgh. I wouldn't like to say.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- Oh, right, yeah. - You're not a teacher!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43You're not a teacher!
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Number three, what's the name of the school you teach at?
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- It's quite close to here.- Which is?
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Which is?
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- Oh, and finally, number one. - Queen Margaret Academy.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56OK, let's get to it.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Audience, this is as much your show as it is ours,
0:19:59 > 0:20:01so please tell us, out of these teachers, who is the real deal?
0:20:01 > 0:20:04On the count of three, vote for one, two, three or four.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06One, two, three, vote away.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09AUDIENCE MEMBERS SHOUT OUT
0:20:16 > 0:20:20OK, OK, OK, OK.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24A lot of fours and a surprisingly high amount of twos.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29In that one person thought it was two.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33OK, Joseph, it's time to pie the supply.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- VOICEOVER:- Pie the supply!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- Oh...- Gently, gently, Joseph.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Come on, Joseph, make the right choice.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Come on. - Gently make the right choice.
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Oh...
0:20:44 > 0:20:48- AUDIENCE:- Ooh...
0:20:51 > 0:20:54LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Put it down, put it down, Joseph.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00You picked the one with the fringe.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Aqos, it's your turn to pie the supply.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09- VOICEOVER:- Pie the supply! - Go on, Aqos!
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Really go for it gently. Really go for it gently.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14I think it might not...
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- She went rogue! - She went rogue!- She went rogue!
0:21:22 > 0:21:27- We thought it was four as well.- Did you change your mind last minute?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- She changed her mind. We thought it was four.- Was it the right decision?
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Would the real teacher please step forward?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- AUDIENCE:- Ooh...
0:21:37 > 0:21:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:21:41 > 0:21:44IAIN AND TEAM MEMBERS SHOUT
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I can't believe that! No!
0:21:54 > 0:21:57OK, because both teams failed to pie the supply,
0:21:57 > 0:22:00it's time to face the penalty.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Our teacher now has a chance to pie one of our team captains.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07It's time for the teacher's revenge.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09- VOICEOVER:- Teacher's revenge!
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Both captains' faces are on this amazing prop
0:22:14 > 0:22:17I like to call the Ring of Revenge.
0:22:17 > 0:22:23Aqos, Joseph, let's see which one of you is getting a pie-ing.
0:22:23 > 0:22:30- AUDIENCE:- Ooh...
0:22:30 > 0:22:33LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- Please make your way to the front. - Good luck, Aqos.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42- Our teacher, please step forward. - Don't take it, Aqos.- I'm sorry.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- JOSEPH:- Aqos, I'm really sorry now.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48If it's a penalty and he's British, he'll probably miss.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Come down here, Aqos.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Oh, my gosh!
0:23:02 > 0:23:07Teacher got revenge and, sadly, no-one gets the gold star.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09But we had a lovely time.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12APPLAUSE
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Time to play Spelling Bees.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21- VOICEOVER:- Spelling Bees-s-s-s-s-s!
0:23:21 > 0:23:24This is a spelling game, obviously,
0:23:24 > 0:23:27where two of our adult "guests" will be dressed as bees
0:23:27 > 0:23:29and attached to bungee cords.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31This is going to be excellent.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Team captains, you are our beekeepers
0:23:33 > 0:23:36so, Joseph, who do you want flying the flag for your team?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- Sam.- Sam. Lovely stuff.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42And, Aqos, who do you want up against Sam?
0:23:42 > 0:23:43I think it's going to be Mark.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- Oh!- Yeah!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48It's battle of the Sam and Marks.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51It is Sam against Mark, Mark against San.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55Let's get ready to rumble!
0:23:55 > 0:23:58APPLAUSE
0:23:58 > 0:24:00OK, guys, I will shout out words
0:24:00 > 0:24:04and our two teams need to grab the letters in the correct order
0:24:04 > 0:24:07to spell out those words. Simple.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12The team who spell the most correct answers by the end is the winner.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Bees, beekeepers, are you ready for your first word?
0:24:16 > 0:24:17- Woo!- Let's do it.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21OK, guys, your first word is "smash".
0:24:21 > 0:24:24- CHARLIE:- Go on, go on!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27CHEERING
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Where's the A?
0:24:33 > 0:24:37- JOSEPH:- Go, go, go! Come on! Get it in!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40CHEERING DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:24:42 > 0:24:44It needs to go in the net.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47What's next? What do I need? What do I need?
0:24:54 > 0:24:56That's it.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Stay on the yellow. You've got to stay on the yellow.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02What's the order? What's the order?
0:25:02 > 0:25:06CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- I haven't got an M. - CHARLIE:- You need that W, that W!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11That W! W!
0:25:11 > 0:25:13The W! Quick, quick!
0:25:13 > 0:25:15- SAM:- "Loves"?- "Loves."
0:25:15 > 0:25:18We've got it, we've got it! What's next?
0:25:22 > 0:25:25CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:25:47 > 0:25:50BELL RINGS Stop, stop, stop.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53APPLAUSE
0:25:53 > 0:25:55They've both not done well.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57LAUGHTER
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- Sam...- Yeah, go on.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- You got "smash"...- Yeah.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02..and we wanted "loves".
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Sadly, you decided to do "gloves", Yuriko.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Charlie, what did you put up?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Put the E back, Charlie.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14LAUGHTER
0:26:14 > 0:26:16At the end of that round, it was very close.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Sam just nicked it in the end
0:26:18 > 0:26:21which means the gold star goes to Joseph's team.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23APPLAUSE
0:26:25 > 0:26:31And that's just about it. All I need to do now is add up the stars.
0:26:31 > 0:26:38- AUDIENCE:- Ooh...
0:26:38 > 0:26:40And the winners are...
0:26:42 > 0:26:45..Joseph's team!
0:26:45 > 0:26:47CHEERING
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Congratulations, you lot.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55You get to wave goodbye in the most exciting way possible.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58As for Aqos and the rest of your team,
0:26:58 > 0:27:00not only does the dog get to eat your homework,
0:27:00 > 0:27:02but you get detention with Mr Smash.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- It's time to do the walk of shame. - Oh!
0:27:05 > 0:27:06- # La, la, la, la, la - Losers!
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- # La, la, la, la, la - Losers!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- # La, la, la, la, la - Losers!
0:27:10 > 0:27:12- # La, la, la, la, la - Losers!
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- # La, la, la, la, la - Losers!
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# Losers! #
0:27:17 > 0:27:18So, that's your lot.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21As ever, we probably didn't learn much but it was fun trying.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23See you all next time on...
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- AUDIENCE:- The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29See ya!
0:27:29 > 0:27:33APPLAUSE