0:00:02 > 0:00:05AAARRRRRGH!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18THEY BABBLE
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Hello! I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00If this is a swimming pool of comedy,
0:01:00 > 0:01:04then stick on some armbands and jump right in.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Although, like any swimming pool, I will know if you've had an accident.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Well, Smash will.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Sam, I told you to go before we started.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15CROWD LAUGHS
0:01:15 > 0:01:16HE SNORTS
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Let's take the register. On my right,
0:01:19 > 0:01:23a girl whose teacher said they could do a project on any time in history.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Naturally, she chose lunchtime.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26It's Charlotte, everybody!
0:01:26 > 0:01:27- Here, sir!- Yes.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29APPLAUSE
0:01:29 > 0:01:34And on Charlotte's team, the cutest guy with great big dimples.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38He's never had a pimple, although he is quite simple.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41From Big Friday Wind-Up, it's Sam Nixon!
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Here, sir.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43APPLAUSE
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Also on Charlotte's team, a comedian who, sadly,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I didn't have a rhyme about.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Only joking, Of course I do!
0:01:50 > 0:01:53I, like Len Goodman, am a master of rhymes.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56So make a kerfuffle, she loves a truffle,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58it's Suzi Ruffell!
0:01:58 > 0:01:59Here, Sir!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01APPLAUSE
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Imagine if she'd worn a duffel - would've been amazing.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05And on my left,
0:02:05 > 0:02:09a girl who's been practising for her music exams on the maracas.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Apparently, she's still a bit shaky. He-he-he-he!
0:02:13 > 0:02:14You're welcome. It's Harriette!
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Here, Sir!
0:02:15 > 0:02:18APPLAUSE
0:02:18 > 0:02:19On Harriette's team,
0:02:19 > 0:02:22a comedian who gives people jokes for their birthday,
0:02:22 > 0:02:25although if I was you, I would keep the receipts.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26It's Ray Bradshaw!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Here, sir!
0:02:28 > 0:02:29APPLAUSE
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Also on Harriette's team, another presenter, and, yes,
0:02:32 > 0:02:35our Mark here is an actual model.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37The real Mark's a lot bigger.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38It's Mark Rhodes!
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Here, sir.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41APPLAUSE
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Ladies and gentlemen, can we have applause for today's teams!
0:02:44 > 0:02:50APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:02:50 > 0:02:53So what's with all the people behind the desks, Iain?
0:02:53 > 0:02:54I'm glad you asked.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Well, as usual, our teams will be locked in a brain battle
0:02:57 > 0:03:01to win these - my delectable golden stars.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04CROWD: OOOOOOH!
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Along the way, I'll award bonus stars
0:03:06 > 0:03:09to anyone who puts an extra big smile on my face.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11But be warned! Any cheek
0:03:11 > 0:03:16and I can make them go away using this foul-smelling spray.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19What? What?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Hee-hee-hee.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- That's actually quite nice. - Well...
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Sorry, this is a... This is a foul-smelling spray!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29CROWD LAUGHS
0:03:29 > 0:03:31ERGH! OH!
0:03:31 > 0:03:33It smells of Yorkshire Tea and brass bands!
0:03:33 > 0:03:34You're welcome.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39But don't turn your nose up at me,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42because it's Iain's school so it's...
0:03:42 > 0:03:44CROWD: IAIN'S RULES!
0:03:44 > 0:03:46# I've got a catchphrase! #
0:03:46 > 0:03:49The teams with the most stars at the end of the show will be our winners,
0:03:49 > 0:03:51while the losers face detention with a man so scary,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54even his baby photos have an 18 certificate.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's Mr Smash.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58CROWD: BOOOOO!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You've been tending some sheep, I believe.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Oh, mate, you've not done a Little Bo Peep
0:04:02 > 0:04:03and lost your sheep, have you?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06HE SOBS
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Mate, listen, maybe the dog's got one of those sheep collars
0:04:09 > 0:04:10you can borrow.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- Ruff? Rargh, ha-ha-ha! - There you go.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Give it a blow!
0:04:15 > 0:04:16QUACK! QUACK!
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Argh!
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Try again.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20QUACK! QUACK!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Argh, blargh!
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Hey, give it a bit of gusto!
0:04:25 > 0:04:27BAAAA!
0:04:27 > 0:04:29HEE-HEE-HEE!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31CROWD LAUGHS
0:04:31 > 0:04:34A sheep landed on his head!
0:04:34 > 0:04:37OK, guys, let's get on with the sho-o-o-o-ow!
0:04:37 > 0:04:39APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:04:42 > 0:04:44General knowledge now, and Watch Your Mouth.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- ANNOUNCER:- Watch Your Mouth!
0:04:46 > 0:04:48This is where our teams have to talk
0:04:48 > 0:04:52whilst they have one of these stuck in their mush.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53It is...
0:04:53 > 0:04:56..a Mr Smash growl-maker.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Please insert your growl-makers now.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Get them right in there.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Ray, how are you? All right?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05I-I'm good, thank you.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07How's it like being on the show for the first time?
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- HE MUFFLES:- Er, yerry dyayning.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11What?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Yerry dyayning.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14- Sorry?- It's good.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Ah.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17CROWD LAUGHS
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Charlotte, Harriette, the twins, how yous doing?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Anazing.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22You can do it!
0:05:22 > 0:05:24I know I can!
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- THEY MUFFLE:- Sho can you! - Sho can you!
0:05:27 > 0:05:32First question. What do you call a social group of lions?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- BUZZER:- Harriette.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- HE MUFFLES:- Uh hryde.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39A hryde!
0:05:39 > 0:05:40HA-HA-HA!
0:05:40 > 0:05:41A hryde of lions!
0:05:41 > 0:05:42CROWD LAUGHS
0:05:42 > 0:05:44A hryde of lions, darleng!
0:05:44 > 0:05:45HA-HA-HA!
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- ANNOUNCER:- SCHOOOOOL DISCOOOOO!
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Go, go, go!
0:05:51 > 0:05:55# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child
0:05:55 > 0:05:58# See heaven's got a plan for you
0:05:58 > 0:06:02# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child
0:06:02 > 0:06:05# See heaven's got a plan for you
0:06:05 > 0:06:09# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child
0:06:09 > 0:06:13# See heaven's got a plan for you
0:06:13 > 0:06:17# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child... #
0:06:17 > 0:06:18RECORD SCRATCHES
0:06:21 > 0:06:22One last time?
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- A hryde of lions!- A pride!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26For an extra bonus point,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29can your entire team please roar like lions?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- ROAR!- RARRRGH!
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Hargh?
0:06:34 > 0:06:37That's a lion that roared too loud and a little trump came out.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Raar...
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Oooh.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43OK, next one, fingers on your buzzers.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47In Harry Potter, what is a term for someone who is not magical?
0:06:47 > 0:06:48- BUZZER:- Charlotte!- Yes, Charlotte.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Uh huggle.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51A muggle's correct.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Name three other characters from the series, Suzi,
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- and you can't have Ron, Harry or Hermione.- Mm...
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Hrofessor McGonagall.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59Yeah.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Dumdledore.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- Yeah.- And...
0:07:02 > 0:07:03..Rhisses Weasley.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Mrs Weasley, very well done.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07OK, fingers on buzzers.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09What is the name of the iconic monument
0:07:09 > 0:07:11gifted by France to the US, which stands in...
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- BUZZER:- Harriette!
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Stattuh Uh Liherty.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18HA-HA-HA!
0:07:22 > 0:07:23Hehhy teysee.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Glad you've done that?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Narh.
0:07:28 > 0:07:33Bonus point, can you sing the American National Anthem?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36# Hoh shay cah you hee
0:07:36 > 0:07:41# Arh the darn's early light
0:07:41 > 0:07:42Uh..
0:07:42 > 0:07:44WAILING AND TUNELESS SINGING
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Ahhh!
0:07:52 > 0:07:53No, I can't.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Fingers on buzzers.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58What is the name of the traditional Australian object
0:07:58 > 0:08:00which is designed to come back when...
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- BUZZER:- Charlotte!- Yes, Suzi.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03- A...- Hm?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05A hrrang
0:08:05 > 0:08:06What?
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Hoorerang.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10- It's like...- A hoorerang!
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- You can't...- Oh, boomerang! Yep, that's correct.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16For a bonus point, can you name the capital of Australia?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Canberra.- Yeah!- Woo!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22People normally say Sydney, but it isnae.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23Hah, good! Good.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Fingers on buzzers.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Salt and vinegar, cheese and onion,
0:08:26 > 0:08:28ready salted are all popular flavours of...
0:08:28 > 0:08:29- BUZZER:- Harriette!- Yes.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30- Crists.- Yes.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33- That's correct, and welcome to the show, Ray.- Oh, no!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36For a bonus point, can you eat some crisps?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Woohoo!
0:08:39 > 0:08:44THEY CHANT: Ray! Ray! Ray!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Yay!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49THEY ALL LAUGH
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Go on, Ray!
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- That is disgusting.- Yeah.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55Easy!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57You've got it on your...
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Weyy!- Ha-ha-ha!
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Fingers on buzzers.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02What kind of food does a herbivore eat?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- BUZZER:- Charlotte!
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Hedgedehuls.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07THEY LAUGH
0:09:09 > 0:09:12OK. Name three types of green vegetable.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13- Ruccoli...- Yeah.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15..asharagus
0:09:15 > 0:09:17and green reans.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Green reans?- Gleen reans.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Lean...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Green...- Green?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- ..yeans.- Yeans.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Like runner reans!
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Green beans!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Yeah, that was good! - There, you said... Say it again?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- Deans!- Deans?!
0:09:33 > 0:09:34I can't give you the point, I'm afraid.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Ahh!- Ahh!- Ahh!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Sorry, it's green beans. That's what I was looking for.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40That's rot I rere saying!
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Fingers on buzzers. What ferocious carnivorous dinosaur
0:09:43 > 0:09:45is famous for having a big head and tiny little arms?
0:09:45 > 0:09:46- BUZZER:- Harriette!
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Tyrannosaurus Yex.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Yes, correct.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53For a bonus point. This is a big one.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Your best Tyrannosaurus Rex impressions.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57RAAAARGH!
0:09:57 > 0:09:58RAAAR!
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Oh, no, there's not...
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Hrrrr!
0:10:00 > 0:10:02THEY ALL LAUGH
0:10:02 > 0:10:07- Hoooo!- Woooo!- Wooo-oooh!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Actually, Tyrranosaurus Rex in real life are very friendly creatures.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14They only got angry because they could never itch their belly.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17HE WHIMPERS
0:10:17 > 0:10:19BELL RINGS Oh, time up!
0:10:19 > 0:10:24And at the end of that round, I can reveal the gold star goes to...
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- ..Harriette's team! - Wheyy!- Yeah!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31APPLAUSE
0:10:34 > 0:10:36It's time now for Pie the Supply.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- ANNOUNCER:- Pie the Supply!
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Over yonder are four people all claiming to be real teachers
0:10:43 > 0:10:46but only one is telling the truth.
0:10:46 > 0:10:52Yeah, talk out of your face and get a pie i-in your face.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55And if both teams fail to identify the real teacher,
0:10:55 > 0:10:58then there will be a penalty!
0:10:58 > 0:11:00CROWD: OOOOOH!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02You've been warned.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07And today, our teachers are all of the mathematical variety.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10We have got teacher one, Mr Allen.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Teacher two, Mr Duku.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Teacher three, Miss McKay.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Teacher four, Mr Bradley.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24OK, so, Charlotte's team, just first impressions,
0:11:24 > 0:11:28have a look, which one says "maths teacher" to you? Math-y.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29Number one.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31One? Why?
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- Just looks a bit math-y.- Math-y. - Yeah.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Yeah? You think number one. Charlotte, what do you think?
0:11:37 > 0:11:38You're still at school.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Yeah, I think number one just because he looks like
0:11:40 > 0:11:41he's trying to hide the fact
0:11:41 > 0:11:44that he is a supply teacher, so...
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Sneaky.- Yeah. - He's trying to hide the fact?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- Yeah.- Sam?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Number one actually looks a little bit like a maths teacher that I had,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Mr Patrick.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55That's cheating if that's Mr Patrick.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57That's completely out of order.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59But I don't know, there's part of me thinking number three.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- Don't know why, just am.- Yeah.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03OK. Harriette's team, one, two, three or four?
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Just first impressions,
0:12:04 > 0:12:06what's the first thing what pops into your mind?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08I'm going for number three and four.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10- You think three or four?- Yeah.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I think four's got the shoes on of a man who spends a lot of time
0:12:13 > 0:12:15standing at whiteboards...
0:12:15 > 0:12:16- Excellent.- ..doing maths.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Number one doesn't look like he teaches maths, he teaches fashion,
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- because that dickie bow is rocking. - Yeah.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25It's actually a tie, he just doesn't know how to tie it.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27I like it. I like it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- It's not him.- Yeah.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Why do you think number three?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Number two and three look a bit guilty, they're like, "Mmm"...
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- Guilty!- Guilty!
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Like they don't want to be here. - Yeah, like, "Oh, we're teachers."
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Number three's looking at you now going,
0:12:40 > 0:12:42"It's your own time you're wasting!"
0:12:42 > 0:12:45OK, let's delve deeper. If you've got any questions,
0:12:45 > 0:12:47they're maths teachers, they know their stuff.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Who do you want to speak to? Sam?
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Can I quickly go down the line of all of them, please?- Yeah!
0:12:52 > 0:12:54And ask, starting with number one,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56what's the name of your school that you work in? Go!
0:12:56 > 0:12:57Saint Mungo's High School.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- Two.- Royston.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Three.- Forfar Academy.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02St Columba's High School.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- Oh.- Ooh, look at it.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Number four was dead smug.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07"High school."
0:13:07 > 0:13:08HA-HA-HA!
0:13:08 > 0:13:12"These lot are still doing adding and sub... I'm long division."
0:13:13 > 0:13:17- Any more questions? - I've got, uh, number one,
0:13:17 > 0:13:187x7?
0:13:18 > 0:13:1949.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Oh!- 7x6?
0:13:21 > 0:13:2242.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26You just asked 49-7, that's what you just asked.
0:13:26 > 0:13:2849-7?
0:13:28 > 0:13:2942.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30THEY ALL LAUGH
0:13:30 > 0:13:31- Very good!- Which is actually his
0:13:31 > 0:13:34neck size if you want to pick up one of those dickie bows.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35I do, I really do.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Charlotte, you've got to have a question?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40If someone in your class was talking, what would you say to them?
0:13:40 > 0:13:43We'll go with number two first.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44That's a dead easy thing
0:13:44 > 0:13:46because normally you're supposed to be listening
0:13:46 > 0:13:50and when you're not listening, you get punished for it, so,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52you get detention.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55I mean, I've been more convinced by things in my past.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57THEY ALL LAUGH
0:13:57 > 0:13:59It's not number two!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01No...
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Uh, number four?
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Well, do you know?
0:14:03 > 0:14:06I think I'd invite them to come up to the front of the class
0:14:06 > 0:14:09and just tell everybody what they're talking about.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Number one.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14I think I would make a promise of the severest consequences,
0:14:14 > 0:14:16should the talking continue.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20I mean, that's the most Scottish thing I've ever heard.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22And finally, number three.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Erm, I would probably say that you weren't disappointing me,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27you were disappointing yourself.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31- "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed." - "Just disappointed."
0:14:31 > 0:14:32- Yeah, yeah.- The worst, the worst.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36OK, Harriette's team, we've had some strong questions over here.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Number three, how long have you been a teacher for?
0:14:39 > 0:14:42I've been a teacher now for 20 years.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Surely you were seven when you started, then?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46- Absolutely.- All right, easy!
0:14:46 > 0:14:49I said ask them some questions, not flirt with them!
0:14:49 > 0:14:51THEY ALL LAUGH
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Sorry, sorry.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Erm, OK, number one,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57seriously, where did you get your dickie bow from?
0:14:57 > 0:15:01I got it as a present from some very grateful pupils.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05- No way!- There's no way a Scottish pupil would buy someone a bow tie.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09"Oh, oh, Craig, it's been a great year this year,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11"what should we get our maths teacher?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14"Oh, I've seen these lovely dickie bows knocking about."
0:15:14 > 0:15:15CROWD LAUGHS
0:15:15 > 0:15:19Yeah, I know, well, I think we know who it isn't.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20We're all in this room together.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24The audience, I want to know - one, two, three or four?
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Who do you think it is? Please vote now.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28CROWD SHOUT THEIR CHOICES
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Right, so there was a lot of fours in there,
0:15:42 > 0:15:44there were some threes and then one guy said two
0:15:44 > 0:15:46cos he just thinks it's funny. Right, so...
0:15:46 > 0:15:48CROWD LAUGHS
0:15:48 > 0:15:53..Charlotte, who do you think lied and who's about to get pied?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55It's time to Pie the Supply!
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- ANNOUNCER:- Pie the Supply!
0:15:58 > 0:15:59It's a tense time.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Ohhh...
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Number two, I wouldn't worry about taking your glasses off.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08CROWD: OHHHHHHHH...
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Gently, gently, catchee monkey,
0:16:10 > 0:16:13who's getting pied?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16CROWD YELLS AND GASPS
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- Oh! Ooh!- Yep.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Oh, it's a brutal pie-ing!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22A good pie-ing, that.
0:16:22 > 0:16:27Don't forget, if you both get it wrong, there is a punishment.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Harriette, it's time for you to Pie the Supply!
0:16:29 > 0:16:33- ANNOUNCER:- Pie the Supply!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Nice and gently, but do get it right in the face.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38CROWD: Ohhhhh...
0:16:38 > 0:16:43CONTESTANTS: Ohhhh...
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- Oh!- Yes!
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I don't know!
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Well done.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55You got some, uh, 3.145 in your face.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57HA-HA-HA!
0:16:57 > 0:16:59What is wrong with you lot?!
0:16:59 > 0:17:03CROWD CHEERS AND WHOOPS
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- Good, that. - That was a great gag.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06About time!
0:17:06 > 0:17:12Right, so, OK, would the real supply teacher please step forward?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14- WHISPERING:- Come on, come on, come on...
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- Oh!- No!- No!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- No!- ARRRGH!
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Because both of you failed,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28our supply teacher now has the chance
0:17:28 > 0:17:30to pie one of our team captains.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34CROWD AND CONTESTANTS: Ohhh!
0:17:34 > 0:17:38It's time for the Teacher's Revenge!
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Now, I would like to make something clear about this wheel.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47We designed this game before we put identical twins...
0:17:47 > 0:17:51THEY ALL LAUGH
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Do you know what one's you?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Yeah, the one with the longer - the hair down.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58- This is you. - Wait till it lands on it!
0:17:58 > 0:18:02So Charlotte's blue, Harriette is red, who's getting pied in the face?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Here we go.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09CROWD: Ohhhh...
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Oh! It's Harriette!
0:18:11 > 0:18:13It's red, it's red!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- It's Harriette!- Oh, mate!
0:18:16 > 0:18:17Harriette, it's time for you to
0:18:17 > 0:18:21take your revenge - come down here, it's revenge time!
0:18:21 > 0:18:23So stand down there, Harriette.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- Oh, no!- Ahh!
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Come on, Harriette! - Mr Allen, please make your way.
0:18:28 > 0:18:34CROWD: Ohhhh...
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Ready?
0:18:35 > 0:18:40Arrrrgh!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43I'm so glad that wasn't me!
0:18:43 > 0:18:46And a bonus gold star for Mr Allen as well!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48- Eyy!- Wheyy!- Woo!
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Time now for Tune In!
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- ANNOUNCER:- Tune In!
0:18:57 > 0:19:01This is a musical round where two members of each team
0:19:01 > 0:19:06will be given a song to perform using one of these beauties.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08It's a kazoo!
0:19:08 > 0:19:12All the remaining team member has to do is guess what song is being
0:19:12 > 0:19:13utterly slaughtered.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16So, Charlotte, you're up first.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Who do you want to join you when you're playing your wee kazoo?
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Hmm, I think I'm going to go for Sam.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24OK, Charlotte and Sam, before you make your way up,
0:19:24 > 0:19:27I've prepared something pretty special for your walk.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29HE PLAYS STRICTLY COME DANCING THEME ON KAZOO
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- STRICTLY ANNOUNCER:- Please welcome to the floor,
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Charlotte and her kazoo partner, Sam Nixon.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Yay!
0:19:40 > 0:19:41OK, Suzi Ruffell,
0:19:41 > 0:19:44your time starts when you flip over your first flippy thing -
0:19:44 > 0:19:46so in your own time.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- No idea!- Aw!
0:19:54 > 0:19:55Next one.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57- Do the hands as well!- Easy, easy.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Oh, Single Ladies!- Yay!
0:20:07 > 0:20:11SHE HUMS ALONG
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Ah!
0:20:16 > 0:20:18# You're gonna hear me roar... #
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Yay!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28# You can't stop the feeling... #
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Yay!- Yeah!
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Oh, Gangnam Style!- Yay!
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- Very good!- That was good! - That was good!
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Well done!
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- Sit back down. Sit back down. - Very good.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Right, Harriette, out of Ray and Mark,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49who do you want to be joining you on the kazoo?
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Hmm...
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- Mark.- Mark.- Yep.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Guys, fear not, listen to this.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56HE PLAYS STRICTLY THEME ON KAZOO
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- STRICTLY ANNOUNCER:- Please welcome to the floor,
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Harriette and her kazoo partner, Mark Rhodes.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10OK, Ray, your time begins when you flip over your first flippy thing.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13In your own time, mate, take it away.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Firework!
0:21:17 > 0:21:18Yes! These boys are good.
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Er...
0:21:27 > 0:21:28- ..Let It Go.- Yes!
0:21:35 > 0:21:36Rolling In The Deep.
0:21:36 > 0:21:37- Oh!- Aw!
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Er, nope, not a clue.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51Get the high notes!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58BELL RINGS
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Oh! Ha-ha-ha!
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Oh, i-is it Chandelier?
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Yes!
0:22:07 > 0:22:08APPLAUSE
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Yes! Bonus gold star there for me.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15THEY ALL LAUGH
0:22:15 > 0:22:21OK, I can reveal that at the end of that round, the gold star goes to...
0:22:21 > 0:22:22..Charlotte's team!
0:22:22 > 0:22:23- Yes!- Whey!
0:22:23 > 0:22:24APPLAUSE
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Woohoo!
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Time now for the School Run!
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- ANNOUNCER:- The School Run!
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Yes, it's a wheely race around the studio on tricycles.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42The team's job, to drop my little brother and sister off at school.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44You can see the family resemblance.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47CRASH!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49CROWD LAUGHS
0:22:49 > 0:22:52OK, the first team to drop everyone off at school
0:22:52 > 0:22:54and make it home first are the winners.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Guys, are you ready to go?
0:22:56 > 0:22:57Eat my dust!
0:22:57 > 0:22:58Yes, I am.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00CROWD LAUGHS
0:23:00 > 0:23:01Are you good to go?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Yep.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Good trash talk. - It's Sam versus Mark.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- Don't you dare! - Then, it's twin versus twin,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13then comedian versus comedian.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Who will be triumphant?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Your time starts in three, two, one,
0:23:18 > 0:23:19GO!
0:23:19 > 0:23:23CROWD CHEERS
0:23:23 > 0:23:24Oh, no!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27He's got an early start!
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Yeah!
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Yeah!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34That's what I'm talking about!
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Ha-ha, woo!
0:23:35 > 0:23:38THEY ALL CHEER AND YELL
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Woo!
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Come on!
0:23:41 > 0:23:43A-HA-HA-HA!
0:23:43 > 0:23:48MR SMASH YELLS AND GRUNTS
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Come on!
0:23:49 > 0:23:53THEY ALL CHEER AND SHOUT
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Is it not just the same again?
0:23:55 > 0:23:58MR SMASH YELLS AND GRUNTS
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Where am I going?!
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Go on!
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Come on!
0:24:08 > 0:24:10We like it, we like it, we like it!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Go, go, go, go!
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- MR SMASH:- Daarrgh! - SHE SCREAMS
0:24:35 > 0:24:37AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:24:40 > 0:24:42MR SMASH YELLS AND GRUNTS
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Oh, and here it comes round the corner.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53CROWD CHEERS AND WHOOPS
0:24:54 > 0:24:56No!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59He's a cheat, Sam's a cheat!
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Go on, Ray!
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Go, go, go, go, go, go!- Go on, Ray!
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Get the baby!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Go, go, go! - Go, go, go, go, go!
0:25:13 > 0:25:14Give me a push!
0:25:17 > 0:25:21CROWD CHEERS
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Stop it!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Go and help, go and help them, go and help them!
0:25:43 > 0:25:47It's so close, it's so close!
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Who's going to win?!
0:25:54 > 0:25:56SHE SCREAMS
0:25:56 > 0:25:57Ah!
0:25:59 > 0:26:01CROWD CHEERS
0:26:01 > 0:26:02AIRHORN
0:26:04 > 0:26:06CROWD LAUGHS
0:26:06 > 0:26:07OK, at the end of that
0:26:07 > 0:26:10round, the gold star goes to Charlotte's team!
0:26:10 > 0:26:13CROWD CHEERS
0:26:20 > 0:26:25And that's just about it, all I need to do now is add up the stars.
0:26:25 > 0:26:32Oooooooooh...
0:26:32 > 0:26:34CROWD: Oooooh...
0:26:34 > 0:26:36And today's winners are...
0:26:37 > 0:26:38..Charlotte's team! Yay!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41CROWD CHEERS
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Woohoo!
0:26:42 > 0:26:43Nooo!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Congratulations, you get to go home
0:26:46 > 0:26:48with at least some of your dignity intact.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52As for Harriette's team, not only does the dog eat your homework
0:26:52 > 0:26:54but you get detention with Mr Smash.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57It's time to do the Walk of Shame.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58# La la la la la la
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Losers!
0:26:59 > 0:27:00# La la la la la la
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Losers!
0:27:01 > 0:27:02# La la la la la la
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Losers!
0:27:03 > 0:27:04# La la la la la la
0:27:04 > 0:27:05Losers!
0:27:05 > 0:27:06# La la la la la la
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Losers!
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- # Losers. # - Losers
0:27:09 > 0:27:11So that's your lot.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15As ever, we probably didn't learn much, but it was fun trying.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17See you all next time on...
0:27:17 > 0:27:21- CROWD:- The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Sees ya!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25CROWD CHEERS