0:00:02 > 0:00:04CHILDREN CHEER
0:00:06 > 0:00:08SCREECH!
0:00:11 > 0:00:12BANG!
0:00:14 > 0:00:18HE MUTTERS AND GROWLS
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Hello, everyone.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Yes, congratulations.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13You just won a first-class ticket to Laughterville.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Destination - Funtown.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Which is great unless you just want to go to the shops,
0:01:19 > 0:01:24in which case, sorry, you can just save some cash and laugh at Smash.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26HE SOBS
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Laughing at a man crying, that's what we do here.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34But now you're all here, let's take the register.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37On my right, a girl who says
0:01:37 > 0:01:41the most interesting thing about her school is that it has a dragon.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Sorry, that it drags on.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- It's Jenai.- Here, sir!
0:01:46 > 0:01:48APPLAUSE
0:01:48 > 0:01:52And on Jenai's team, a comedian and actor who just won't stop
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- telling me about that time he appeared on Doctor Who.- Yes.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57And it's about time.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00No, I mean, the show is literally about time travel.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03He still brings it up all the time. It's Charlie Baker.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Here, sir! - APPLAUSE
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Also on Jenai's team, one half of Johnny and Inel,
0:02:09 > 0:02:12which he reckons he's about 45% of.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15I said try higher and he said...
0:02:15 > 0:02:17HIGH-PITCHED: 45% of!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22It's Johnny Cochrane!
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Here, sir!
0:02:23 > 0:02:24APPLAUSE
0:02:24 > 0:02:29And on my left, a boy who last term was glued to his woodwork project,
0:02:29 > 0:02:33which is a long time to have a spice rack stuck on your head.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- It's Cody!- Here, sir!
0:02:35 > 0:02:36APPLAUSE
0:02:37 > 0:02:40And on Cody's team, a comedian who even at school
0:02:40 > 0:02:43had the teachers laughing, mostly when they were marking her homework.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- It's Suzi Ruffell.- Here, sir!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47APPLAUSE
0:02:47 > 0:02:49And finally, on Cody's team,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52a comedian whose smile lights up any stage,
0:02:52 > 0:02:54which does save a lot of money on electricity bills.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58- It's Inel Tomlinson.- Here, sir!
0:02:58 > 0:02:59APPLAUSE
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Can we please have a round of applause for our teams?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:07 > 0:03:11As usual the teams are here for one thing and one thing only -
0:03:11 > 0:03:13the free sandwiches.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Sardines, tripe and peanut butter. Delicious.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Hey, they're quite good, actually.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23But they're also here for these - my famous golden stars!
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- ALL:- Ooh!
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Along the way I'll also award bonus stars for whoever
0:03:29 > 0:03:34tickles my fancy, like who can do the best animal impression.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36ROAR!
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Anyone else?
0:03:37 > 0:03:38- I can do dog.- OK?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Grrr-ruff! Ruff! Ruff!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Grrrrr-ruff!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Ruff! No?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47HE WHISTLES
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Is that dog whistling?
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Grrr...
0:03:51 > 0:03:53HE WHISTLES
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- A dog pretending he's not getting a cat.- I've got one, Iain.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57I've got one.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Mmma-a-ah-ee!
0:03:59 > 0:04:01What's that, a sheep being run over?
0:04:03 > 0:04:07- It's actually a sheep eagle. - Oh.- In case you didn't realise.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- The old sheagle. - Sheep and an eagle, exactly.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Do you know what, you can have a bonus gold star for your sheagle.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Thank you very much. Maa-ee!
0:04:17 > 0:04:22Be warned, any wild behaviour and I'll take those stars away.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23- ALL:- Aww!
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Hey! How many times - it's Iain's school, so it's...
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Iain's rules!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31The catchphrase is in effect.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34The team with the most stars at the end of the show are the winners
0:04:34 > 0:04:38while the loser face the attention of the man so scary,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40even this pencil is nervous.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41- Eek! - PARP!
0:04:45 > 0:04:47- Eek! - PARP!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51The pencil had a curry last night.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53It's Mr Smash!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55BOOING
0:04:57 > 0:05:01HE PLAYS, HORRIBLY OUT OF TUNE
0:05:10 > 0:05:14HE PLAYS SWEETLY
0:05:18 > 0:05:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:25 > 0:05:28HE MUTTERS
0:05:31 > 0:05:33There is no beginning to that man's talent.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35So let's get on with the show!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38APPLAUSE
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Time for Stick To The Point.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Stick To The Point!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I'll ask questions and if our teams are too slow, repeat an answer
0:05:48 > 0:05:52or just talk jibber jabber, I'll put them in the shush position.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Can I see your shush positions, please?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Good shushing. Lovely stuff.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01But first, I need my Stick of Pointiness.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08Oh. I don't know where the Stick of Pointiness has got to.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11I know, I know. Here, boy! Here, boy!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14UPLIFTING MUSIC
0:06:25 > 0:06:27NEEDLE SCRATCHES
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Thanks very much. He's always playing up his part. Ridiculous.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
0:06:40 > 0:06:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:46 > 0:06:49As you know, the last team speaking wins.
0:06:49 > 0:06:54Our first topic is animals that would make terrible pets.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Terrible pets. Suzi!
0:06:56 > 0:06:57- A bear!- Yes!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Johnny!- A tiger.- Mm-hmm.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- Inel!- A cockroach.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- Jenai?- A gorilla.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Yes. Cody?
0:07:05 > 0:07:06- A lion.- Good.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Charlie?- Tarantula.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09Yes, please. Suzi?
0:07:09 > 0:07:10A shark.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Oh, yeah, where would you keep it? In the sink?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Johnny?
0:07:15 > 0:07:16A blue whale.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Where would you keep it? In the sink?
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Suzi?
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Nemo.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Where would you keep him?
0:07:23 > 0:07:24- ALL:- In the sink!
0:07:24 > 0:07:27OK, we'll stop doing that now. Yeah, OK. Johnny?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Dolphin. Where would you keep it?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- ALL:- In the sink!- Yeah.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- The old ones are the best.- Cody?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Uh... Lionfish.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38LAUGHTER
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- Yeah.- But for a bonus gold star, Cody, where would you keep it?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47You would keep it in the sink!
0:07:48 > 0:07:51I'm finding it fun and until you start enjoying it,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54we're doing it for the next 20 minutes. Jenai?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56A crocodile, but where would you keep it?
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- ALL:- In the sink!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Suzi?
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Um...a...
0:08:02 > 0:08:04BUZZER
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Shush position. Johnny?
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Dolphin.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08BUZZER We've had it.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10- You said it!- You said it!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Your sink's full, mate.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15I don't think you heard me the first time, so I had to say it again.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Shush position. Inel?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18A parasite.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20You know the ones that crawl under your skin
0:08:20 > 0:08:22and then you're just like, what's that doing up my skin?
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- And then you're like...- OK. Jenai?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27BUZZER
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Shush position.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Shush position. Cody?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- A blue-ringed octopus.- Nice.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Yes, please. Charlie?
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Yes.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37BUZZER
0:08:37 > 0:08:38Points go to Cody's team.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:43 > 0:08:47OK, right, now we're going to play Stick To The Point
0:08:47 > 0:08:49alphabetical-style.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Here we go, crank it up.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54OK, and there's a new stick for it.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Here is my...alphabetical stick.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Alphabetical!
0:08:59 > 0:09:02No expense...spent.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04OK, and here we go.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08So, things that smell bad beginning with the letter B.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Remember, it's a kids' show.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14- Johnny.- Burp.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Yes! Suzi.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17- Bogs.- Yes.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- Charlie?- Builders' toilet.- Ooh!
0:09:20 > 0:09:21- Cody?- Babies.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25They can stink. Jenai?
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Baked beans.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Baked beans, yes, particularly after consumption.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- Inel?- Badgers.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Yes. Johnny?
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Bums.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- Aww!- It had to be done.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40It's out there now.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42There's some smelly bums out there
0:09:42 > 0:09:45and I had to be clear about that, OK? Smelly bum.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46- Eek! - PARP!
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- Suzi?- Beetles.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Yeah, they stink. Charlie?
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Bournemouth.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Ever been there? It stinks.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Full of old people.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Inel?- Brighton.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Oh, that...- No.- It doesn't stink, Brighton doesn't stink.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Jenai's angry about this.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- No.- Don't you have a go at Brighton!
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Are you from Brighton, Jenai?
0:10:11 > 0:10:15I'm not from Brighton but on the train, it went past it
0:10:15 > 0:10:18and the doors opened and it smelled lovely.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- Bad news, Inel.- Jenai, should I put him in the shush position?- Yeah.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- I think you should.- Shush position? - You should.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Charlie?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Barry. My mate.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Oh, my gosh!- My mate Barry stinks.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- Smelly Barry.- Smelly Barry.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35If you're watching, Barry, hi.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- Cody?- Bad breath.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Yes. Jenai?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Burgers that have fish in it that's stale.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Had to be precise.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Suzi? Uh...- Boxers' shorts.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Shorts belonging to boxers?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- A boxer...- Yeah. - ..who's got all sweaty in the ring.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Oh. Charlie?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Bag of manure.- Yeah.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Cody?
0:10:56 > 0:10:59A bag, like a smelly gym bag.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00OK. Charlie?
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Blue, the band blue.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- Stink.- They do smell.- All of them. - Absolutely stink. Suzi?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08- Uh... - BUZZER
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Shush position! Only Cody's left.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- Jenai?- Blue cheese.- Good one.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Blue cheese? I thought you said blue trees. Cody?
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Brian, my papa, he stinks of old people.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- Outed on TV!- Sorry, Papa!
0:11:26 > 0:11:29There you go, Papa, if you're watching, sorry, Papa. Have a bath.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Johnny?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35A bath that has been taken by a smelly person.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Cody?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38A bird, like a stinky pigeon.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40OK. Charlie?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- Body odour.- Yes. Cody?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Burnt burgers.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45BUZZER
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- No, we've had that. Shush position. Points go to Jenai's team.- Yeah!
0:11:48 > 0:11:50APPLAUSE
0:11:50 > 0:11:52BELL RINGS
0:11:52 > 0:11:56And at the end of that round, the gold star goes to...
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Jenai's team!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:12:05 > 0:12:08General knowledge now, and Watch Your Mouth.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Watch Your Mouth!
0:12:10 > 0:12:14This is where teams have to do what, Mr Smash?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17HE GROWLS
0:12:17 > 0:12:19That's right. They have to growl,
0:12:19 > 0:12:23or try to talk properly whilst they have one of these in their chops.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27They are, of course, the Mr Smash growlmaker,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31so teams, please insert your growlmakers into your mush.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Get them right in there.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Lovely stuff.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37OK, this sounds good.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- It's good.- It's good, isn't it?- Oh, yeah.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I'm going to start drooling again.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44One rule - don't drool. Use your tissues.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46OK, here we go. Fingers on buzzers.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49A spoonful of sugar is a song from which classic...
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- BUZZER:- Jenai!
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Jenai?
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Mary Poppins.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Yes. Name three foods which would be improved with a spoonful of sugar.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Uh...
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Hoons.- Huh?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Hroon.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05What are you saying, Charlie?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Hroons.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- Prunes?- Yes.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- Prunes?- Yes.- Hrunes.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15I need two more. Prunes?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Hey-al.- What?- Cereal. He said cereal.- Hey-al.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Cereal, and one more?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Oh, I've got one. Storories.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Sies. Yeah, pies.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28- Strawberries.- Strawberries! OK, that's fine. Next one.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Jet skiing, sailing and windsurfing are all types of...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33- BUZZER:- Cody!
0:13:33 > 0:13:34Watersports.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Watersports is correct. Fingers on buzzers.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41What is the second longest river in the United States?
0:13:41 > 0:13:42- BUZZER:- Jenai!
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Jenai?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Ississihi.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- What?- Mississippi, Mississippi.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49For a bonus point, Charlie, spell Mississippi.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53M-I-double-S I-double-S-I-double-P-I.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Mississippi.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Hurrah!
0:13:58 > 0:14:03OK, fingers on buzzers. What is the Scottish name for New Year's Eve?
0:14:03 > 0:14:04- BUZZER:- Cody!- Cody.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Hogmanay.- Hogmanay, correct.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08And for a bonus point,
0:14:08 > 0:14:13all you guys have to do is celebrate Hogmanay by blowing these blowers.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Take one each, and wait...
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Cody's doing it with his nose.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29I'll give you the bonus point, I'll give you the bonus point. Well done.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Fingers on buzzers.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Final one - lions, polar bears, monkeys and whales
0:14:34 > 0:14:35are all types of...
0:14:35 > 0:14:36- BUZZER:- Jenai!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Animals. Animals.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40No, I need more specifics than that. Cody?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41Arara.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- A mammoth?- Arara.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Mamma.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50- Mammals?- Mammals! Correct!
0:14:50 > 0:14:54And for a bonus point, do your best impression of a mammal.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55We'll start with Suzi.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Ah-ah! Ooh-ooh-ooh!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Monkey. Correct.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Cody?
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Rrrrr!
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Oh, no.- It's fine.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08And finally, Inel?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Ee-ee-ee-ee-ee!
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee!
0:15:11 > 0:15:12What is it?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14- Is a dahin.- What?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17- A dolphin.- Daphin.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- A dolphin.- A dolphin?- Dolphin.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22OK, I'll give you guys a little bonus point for that as well.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23BELL RINGS
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Oh. That's the end of the round, and at the end of the round,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29I can tell you that the gold star goes to...
0:15:30 > 0:15:32..Cody's team!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Time now for Pie The Supply.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Pie The Supply.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47We're about to meet four people all claiming to be real teachers
0:15:47 > 0:15:49but only one is telling the truth.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Three of them are LYING!
0:15:51 > 0:15:54And someone's in for a PIE-ING!
0:15:54 > 0:15:57And if both teams fail to identify the correct teacher,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00then there will be penalties...
0:16:00 > 0:16:02- ALL:- Oooh!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Here are today's teachers.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07And they are all about business...
0:16:07 > 0:16:11studies. They're business studies teachers. OK, we have got...
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Mr Castledyne,
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Mr Duncan,
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Miss Kainth,
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Miss Smith.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24One of them is a business studies teacher, but who?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Jenai's team, just first impressions,
0:16:27 > 0:16:30who do you think has got a bit of business time about them?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34OK, I think number four, but I won't say number four because
0:16:34 > 0:16:37it kind of looks a bit obvious that she would be a teacher, but
0:16:37 > 0:16:41I'm going to go with number three because she looks pretty standard.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43LAUGHTER
0:16:43 > 0:16:47- Yeah?- OK. Cody's team, first impressions. That's all I want!
0:16:47 > 0:16:52- Well, number one's got a kind of teacher jumper on.- Yeah.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56And, like, number two's got teacher trousers.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59So you combine one and two, you've got the perfect teacher.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01What is the difference between number one
0:17:01 > 0:17:02and number two's trousers?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Well... I mean...
0:17:06 > 0:17:09I imagine they both showed up today and went, "You said you'd...
0:17:09 > 0:17:11"I said I was wearing the beige cords!"
0:17:12 > 0:17:15I think the difference is about ten minutes in an iron.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Jenai's team.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27I'll let you go first, Charlie, you seem to be chomping on the bit.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- What questions have you got? - Number three.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31What's the first rule of business?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- Oh, no...- Oh, she's forgotten!
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Profit and loss.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41Profit and loss. Number one? The first rule of business?
0:17:41 > 0:17:45First rule of business is seeing an opportunity and going for it.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49- Oh.- Scariest voice I've ever heard in my life.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Ruthless, yeah.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- Number four? - There are no friends in business.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56There are no friends in business - like me, I must be in business.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- It's OK, Charlie.- Thank you, Jenai.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01And number two...?
0:18:01 > 0:18:02LAUGHTER And...
0:18:02 > 0:18:04And number two?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07ABC. Always be closing.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- Oh.- So it's like Glengarry Glen Ross?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Excuse me, mate, can I buy a jumper? No, we're closed!
0:18:11 > 0:18:13LAUGHTER
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Cody's team.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Have you got any questions for the teacher?
0:18:17 > 0:18:21- So, setting the scene, it's Friday...morning.- Oh, morning.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24What class are you teaching and what are you teaching them?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26OK, you can go for numbers, Inel.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27And that is for number four.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30It's S3 and it's economics.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33- Oh, quick!- Quick flash.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Number three?
0:18:35 > 0:18:36- Eh... - LAUGHTER
0:18:36 > 0:18:38S4 and business management.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Say that again?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41S4, business management.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43OK. Number one?
0:18:43 > 0:18:46I work four days a week, I take Fridays off.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47LAUGHTER
0:18:47 > 0:18:49APPLAUSE
0:18:50 > 0:18:53And finally, number two? Friday mornings, what you teaching?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55It's non-class c...class contact.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59Noncontact days, I used to love them. Yes, Cody?
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Who are your favourite pupils, and why?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Oh, great question! Do you want to do numbers?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Yes. Number three.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I've got a wee girl in my class, year four, Jodie,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10and she's very, very smart.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Smart, good. Number one.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- My favourite pupil is Mhairi.- Yeah.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Number four?
0:19:17 > 0:19:19It's a girl called Nicky, and she's very responsible,
0:19:19 > 0:19:22and she basically runs the class for me.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23Ooh!
0:19:23 > 0:19:25And finally, number two?
0:19:25 > 0:19:26I don't have any favourites.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28- Oh, no favourites. - He doesn't have any!
0:19:28 > 0:19:29- They're all a pain.- Yeah.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31LAUGHTER
0:19:31 > 0:19:33OK. This is much about the audience as it's about us, so, audience,
0:19:33 > 0:19:36out of our teachers here, who do you think's the real deal?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Please vote now. Go!
0:19:38 > 0:19:45AUDIENCE YELLS NUMBERS OUT
0:19:53 > 0:19:57OK, OK, OK.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Lots of twos, lots of fours, one kid went one, bless you.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03LAUGHTER
0:20:03 > 0:20:07But it is decision time, so, Jenai, we're about to find out who's lying
0:20:07 > 0:20:11and who is about to get pied, so, Jenai, it is time to pie the supply!
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Pie the supply!
0:20:14 > 0:20:15Up you get.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Nice and gently, Jenai.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Select your victim, pie them in the face.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- We all think it's different people, by the way.- Oh, do you?- Yeah.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- Nice and gentle.- Gently, gently.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Ooh!
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Place it in the face, who could it be?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33O-o-oh!
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Come on!
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Oh!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41APPLAUSE
0:20:46 > 0:20:48You pied the woman that didn't know
0:20:48 > 0:20:50the first rule of business management.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52LAUGHTER
0:20:54 > 0:20:58Don't forget, if you both get it wrong, there will be consequences!
0:20:58 > 0:20:59- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:20:59 > 0:21:02OK, Cody, it's time for you to pie the supply!
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Pie the supply!
0:21:05 > 0:21:10- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Come on, Cody, here we go.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Oh!
0:21:14 > 0:21:17APPLAUSE
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Pass the towels, pass the towels.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27We always go for the lady that's got the most fringe.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28LAUGHTER
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Sorry about that.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- I'm so sorry!- I don't think you are.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Would the real supply teacher please step forward?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- No!- No!
0:21:43 > 0:21:47APPLAUSE
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Oh, no, I'm going to get pied in the face. Oh, my God.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Oh, my God.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Unbelievable.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Again, again!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Because both teams failed to pie the supply,
0:21:58 > 0:22:00it's time to face the penalty.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Our supply teacher now has the chance to pie a team captain.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05It's time for the Teacher's Revenge!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Both captains' faces are on this amazing prop
0:22:13 > 0:22:15that I like to call the Ring of Revenge.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Oh, my face is on there!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20So let's spin and see who's getting a pie-ing.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Will it be Cody? Will it be Jenai?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Let's find out.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Please, please...
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- AUDIENCE:- Ooooh!
0:22:28 > 0:22:30It's Jenai!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32APPLAUSE
0:22:33 > 0:22:37Jenai, come down the front.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Oh, dear.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39Gently, Mr Duncan.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43There was... There was purpose in that walk.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44Three, two, one, go!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46LAUGHTER
0:22:46 > 0:22:47APPLAUSE
0:22:49 > 0:22:50Quite nice!
0:22:50 > 0:22:52And that's the Teacher's Revenge!
0:22:52 > 0:22:55APPLAUSE
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Time now for the School Run.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04The School Run!
0:23:04 > 0:23:06In this relay race, our teams
0:23:06 > 0:23:10will have to drop these little, cute buttons off at school.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Mr Smash, pass me the children.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14LAUGHTER
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Smash, give me the dolls.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Smash, give me the kids!
0:23:22 > 0:23:23He's odd.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26OK, the first team to drop everyone off at school
0:23:26 > 0:23:29and make it home first are the winners.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30- Are you both ready? ALL:- Yes!
0:23:30 > 0:23:33OK, your time starts in three, two, one, go!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35HORN BLOWS
0:23:35 > 0:23:39AUDIENCE YELLS ENCOURAGEMENT
0:23:47 > 0:23:49- Oh, no.- Woohoo!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Ah!
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- CHANTING:- Charlie, Charlie, Charlie!
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Go and help Charlie!
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Go and help Charlie, go and help Charlie.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Next up, next up, next up!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Go on, go on, go on!
0:24:25 > 0:24:29CHEERING
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Come on, come on, come on!
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Go, go, go!
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Watch your head, watch your head! Go on, go on, you ready?
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Go, go, go, go, go.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Go!
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Just run with it! Go!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Ah!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Ah!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Go on, go on...
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Press the button now.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Keep pushing, keep pushing.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I can't go!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Push the button!
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Get up, get up! Get up!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Get up!
0:25:27 > 0:25:31CHEERING
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Push, push!
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Come on! Come on!
0:26:03 > 0:26:08Go, go, go! Move! Go, quick, quick, quick!
0:26:13 > 0:26:16YES!
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Which means the gold star goes to Jenai's team!
0:26:21 > 0:26:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:26 > 0:26:29OK, and that's us all comedied out.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33All we need to do now is add up the stars.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38- Ooooooh! AUDIENCE:- Ooooooh!
0:26:41 > 0:26:42And the winner is...
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Jenai's team!
0:26:47 > 0:26:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Well done, Jenai!
0:26:52 > 0:26:55You are the winning team today. Congratulations, you lot.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Guys, as for Cody's team, not only does the dog eat your homework,
0:27:00 > 0:27:03but you get detention with Mr Smash.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06It's time to take the walk of shame.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- # La la la la la la - Losers!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- # La la la la la la - Losers!
0:27:10 > 0:27:11- # La la la la la la - Losers!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- # La la la la la la - Losers!
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- # La la la la la la - Losers!
0:27:16 > 0:27:18# Losers! #
0:27:18 > 0:27:19So that's your lot.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23As ever, we didn't learn much, but it was sure fun trying.
0:27:23 > 0:27:24See you next time on...
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- ALL:- The Dog Ate My Homework!
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Sees ya!
0:27:34 > 0:27:35AUDIENCE CLAPS RHYTHMICALLY
0:28:08 > 0:28:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE