Episode 9

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0:00:00 > 0:00:03Hello, and welcome to The Johnny and Inel Show, guys!

0:00:03 > 0:00:05ALARM RINGS

0:00:05 > 0:00:07# My alarm wakes me up I'm ready to rise

0:00:07 > 0:00:10# I splash some water on my face to get the sleep out of my eyes

0:00:10 > 0:00:12# The sun's out shining I better stop rhyming

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# As Mum's always telling me Fix up your timing

0:00:15 > 0:00:16# Now we got a show on CBBC

0:00:16 > 0:00:18# Sure all of my fans will be happy to see me

0:00:18 > 0:00:20# It's sick cos the time is here

0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Now sit back, relax and get ready to cheer

0:00:23 > 0:00:24# We're doing well as you can tell

0:00:24 > 0:00:27- # So here comes the show with Johnny - And Inel. #

0:00:27 > 0:00:29'Coming up on today's show...'

0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Gonna win... #

0:00:31 > 0:00:33'Blondie!'

0:00:33 > 0:00:35And anything you three produce is going to be...

0:00:35 > 0:00:37wickedy-wickedy-wickedy...wah.

0:00:39 > 0:00:40'Baggit!'

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Hurry up. Yeah?

0:00:42 > 0:00:44Well, you only have a few items.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47You should be able to carry them in your arms.

0:00:47 > 0:00:51- If not, you'd better get on the weights, bruv.- Exactly, bruv.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53'Chatty Mates!'

0:00:53 > 0:00:56- Are you even listening to me? - I didn't hear you, what did you say?

0:00:56 > 0:00:59Look, I'm in a public space, I cannot keep repeating myself.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02'Now it's time for the studio.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05'But first, Johnny and Inel are in a production meeting.'

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Come on, then. Are we going to crack on with this meeting?

0:01:10 > 0:01:12- BLONDIE:- Now to make things more interesting.

0:01:12 > 0:01:13DOOR LOCK CLICKS

0:01:17 > 0:01:18What the...

0:01:21 > 0:01:23It's locked! I think someone's locked us in here.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28OK! Joke's over.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31Look, open up now, and after a brief telling-off from me,

0:01:31 > 0:01:33we'll forget this ever happened.

0:01:33 > 0:01:36- BLONDIE:- 'The show's about to start. Where are Johnny and Inel?

0:01:36 > 0:01:39'Oh, well, I guess I'm going to have to take over.'

0:01:39 > 0:01:40CHEERING AND WHISTLING

0:01:40 > 0:01:41Whoa!

0:01:43 > 0:01:45Hi, thank you.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Oh, my days. Hello, audience!

0:01:48 > 0:01:50- ALL:- Hello!

0:01:50 > 0:01:54Say - oh my golly gosh, it's Blondie!

0:01:54 > 0:01:58Oh, my golly gosh, it's Blondie!

0:01:58 > 0:02:02Say - libertyyy!

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Libertyyy!

0:02:05 > 0:02:06'Meanwhile, back at the meeting...'

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Seriously, guys, the show started two minutes ago.

0:02:09 > 0:02:10Please open the door!

0:02:10 > 0:02:14I'm claustrophobic. Small spaces make me panic.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Johnny is panicking, Brennan, what are you going to do?

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Er...panic?

0:02:19 > 0:02:22No, Brennan, that is not what we need to do.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27The show started two minutes and 15 seconds ago!

0:02:27 > 0:02:31And I had a good Greet of the Week as well. It was like...

0:02:31 > 0:02:33'Meanwhile, back in the studio...'

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Hold up. What's going on here?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40You think you can come out on this show

0:02:40 > 0:02:41and start throwing your weight around

0:02:41 > 0:02:45like some jumped-up, starry-eyed schoolgirl?

0:02:45 > 0:02:49Oh, my gosh. That's like disrespect right there, Johnny Kyle!

0:02:49 > 0:02:53I'll tell you what's disres... What are you laughing at?

0:02:53 > 0:02:56I'll tell you what's disrespect - you coming out here

0:02:56 > 0:03:00on the studio floor, and thinking that you own this audience.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03I'll tell you what. Someone needs to have a conversation with you

0:03:03 > 0:03:07about how this Johnny and Inel takeover's going to run!

0:03:09 > 0:03:14Takeover? Did you hear that, Inel? The characters are taking over.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17- I knew it was that Blondie. Never trusted her.- Hey, slow down,

0:03:17 > 0:03:19I don't think Blondie can take all the blame.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Look at that Johnny Kyle geezer. He's a nasty man.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25It's never happy-ever-after when HE'S about.

0:03:25 > 0:03:30Brennan! I thought I told you to keep an eye on these characters.

0:03:30 > 0:03:35Look - Kyle's a loose cannon, and Blondie's ego's way out of control.

0:03:35 > 0:03:41You know - I'M easy to control. I'm fun, funny. Full of charm.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43I'm ready for any opportunity.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Brennan. Brenno.

0:03:45 > 0:03:46Bren-bren-dran.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Oh, jog on.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50Why don't you go and make me a tea or something -

0:03:50 > 0:03:53and keep your big head out of my show.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56Your show? I think you'll find it's my show as well.

0:03:56 > 0:04:00- THEY BICKER - You're not even that funny.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02You're not even funny!

0:04:02 > 0:04:07Right! We can all be quiet now.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10Mo - it's not The Mo Show, so button it.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Producer, stop blaming Brennan. Sometimes it IS your fault.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18No, Brennan - it's mainly your fault, so get a clue.

0:04:18 > 0:04:23Now - Johnny, Inel, you're supposed to be a double act,

0:04:23 > 0:04:25so get it together.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28Now, unless anyone has an idea of how to get us out of here,

0:04:28 > 0:04:33I suggest we all be quiet, and let we listen to my music. For once!

0:04:36 > 0:04:37That was rude.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39'Well, Gayle the DJ has come out of her shell.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42'Whilst we try to get out of the green room,

0:04:42 > 0:04:45'let's check out who's wrestling - WWJI-style!'

0:04:46 > 0:04:49Tonight we finally get to see one of the most anticipated

0:04:49 > 0:04:50matches of the decade.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53It's The Footballer...

0:04:53 > 0:04:55versus The Whistler!

0:05:00 > 0:05:01Agh!

0:05:02 > 0:05:04That's got to be red.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06- You've been warned.- Right -

0:05:06 > 0:05:09I'm about to take things into stoppage time!

0:05:10 > 0:05:12As I put a stop to your career.

0:05:12 > 0:05:16You are about to see the flair of a real pro footballer.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21- Can't be half-time already! - Nice cup of tea.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Stop breaking up the game, this isn't American football!

0:05:24 > 0:05:26You're darn right it ain't.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Oh, come on, you can't blow for that.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34If you blow your whistle one more time,

0:05:34 > 0:05:38I'm about to take things into injury time!

0:05:38 > 0:05:41- BELL RINGS - The knockout stages.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45Exclusive pay-per-view event, only on WWJI this Super Sunday.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49'Have you ever wondered what happens

0:05:49 > 0:05:51'when you're not looking at your phone? Here's Chatty Mates.'

0:05:55 > 0:05:57- You all right?- You all right? Good, yeah?

0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Yeah, good.- Good, yeah, good.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02- Hey, you'll never guess what I just heard.- What is it? Tell me.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04Well, only like the most important news ever.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07Oh, my gosh, you gotta let me know. What is it?

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Moby...? What's the news? Moby.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13- Hello?- Hello? What happened?

0:06:13 > 0:06:17- I went through a tunnel, didn't I? - Why, where are you headed?

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- That's what I was trying to tell ya. - Yeah? What you going to tell me?

0:06:20 > 0:06:22What you going to say?

0:06:22 > 0:06:23What was it?

0:06:26 > 0:06:27Hello...?

0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Did you get all that?- Get what?

0:06:30 > 0:06:33- The stuff about the baby.- What baby?

0:06:33 > 0:06:34Hello?

0:06:34 > 0:06:38- This is well frustrating.- That's why I'm going there, to reject it.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Reject what, the baby?

0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Are you even listening to me? - I didn't hear a word you said.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Look, I'm in a public space, I cannot keep repeating myself.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Especially the stuff about the soft pouch and the hard case.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Well, you keep cutting your conversation short.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55Look, it's not my fault where they build these silly tunnels.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59Look, just let me get in. What are you trying to say?

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Right, OK. Basically...

0:07:01 > 0:07:03- BEEP - Basically...

0:07:03 > 0:07:07- Oh, no! I'm running low on battery, I've gotta go.- Oh! What are you like?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15APPLAUSE

0:07:15 > 0:07:18'On today's Johnny Kyle Show, we have Frankenstein's monster,

0:07:18 > 0:07:20'who's ready to bare his soul.'

0:07:21 > 0:07:24So tell me one more time. What's the matter?

0:07:24 > 0:07:26HE GRUNTS

0:07:27 > 0:07:29What are you saying?

0:07:29 > 0:07:30HE GRUNTS

0:07:33 > 0:07:35What even IS that?

0:07:35 > 0:07:36HE GRUNTS

0:07:37 > 0:07:39What did you say about my mum?!

0:07:39 > 0:07:42I've had enough of this guy, get him out of here!

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Excuse me... Sorry, I can speak Monster.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Really?

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Uh-huh.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Well, maybe you can translate for us, eh,

0:07:53 > 0:07:57find out what this beast is actually trying to say.

0:07:57 > 0:07:58OK.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00SHE GRUNTS

0:08:02 > 0:08:06HE GRUNTS IN REPLY

0:08:08 > 0:08:10SHE GRUNTS AGAIN

0:08:13 > 0:08:15HE GRUNTS AGAIN

0:08:19 > 0:08:20Oh, I see.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24- Well?- He says he wants to find a wife.

0:08:25 > 0:08:26You've got to be kidding me.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29Look, this show is for people with real problems!

0:08:29 > 0:08:32Like, their stepmothers have tried to poison 'em,

0:08:32 > 0:08:34or an evil witch has eaten their brother.

0:08:34 > 0:08:39Or they can't go home, because a troll is living under their bridge.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43None of this nonsense! What d'you think this is, Take Me Out?

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Cos I tell you what, son -

0:08:44 > 0:08:47if it WAS Take Me Out all of your lights would have gone out.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50You're a state! Get him out of here, guys!

0:08:50 > 0:08:52HE GRUNTS IN PROTEST

0:08:52 > 0:08:55Don't even try it! Brush your teeth.

0:08:55 > 0:08:56It's The Johnny Kyle Show.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00Do you know how many monsters I've dealt with like you?

0:09:00 > 0:09:02You don't want none of this, mate...

0:09:02 > 0:09:03HE GRUNTS AND SNARLS

0:09:03 > 0:09:07Should see what I done to Humpty Dumpty, he's got a crack in his head.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Stay out!

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Right... Now that's done, who's next?

0:09:12 > 0:09:14'So let's find out what's happening

0:09:14 > 0:09:16'in the Johnny and Inel takeover.'

0:09:16 > 0:09:19So you've been lying to your mum?

0:09:19 > 0:09:22That's the problem with this fairy tale...

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Er, Kyle! What are you doing!

0:09:24 > 0:09:26Hold up. When we signed up to this,

0:09:26 > 0:09:30we both agreed that we'd have equal time on the studio floor.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34Well, you've had your time, Blondie. Now it's my time. Kyle time.

0:09:34 > 0:09:38Er, I don't think so, Kyle, in cloud-cuckoo-land. Thank you.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Everybody knows I'm the break-out star. Thank you.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44And I still got my little bit to do,

0:09:44 > 0:09:46so audience, can you say "Laters!"?

0:09:46 > 0:09:48- ALL:- Laters!

0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Don't join in...- Can you say, "Get out of here, please!"?

0:09:51 > 0:09:52Get out of here, please!

0:09:52 > 0:09:54She's an absolutely rude little girl.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57- Can you say "Now!"?- Now!

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Don't you dare be so disresp...

0:09:59 > 0:10:03Get your hands off me! I'll have you for this, Blondie.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06You're bang out of order!

0:10:07 > 0:10:10You know what? Scarier people than you have tried to stop Johnny Kyle!

0:10:10 > 0:10:13And look where they are now! That's right - with my aftercare team!

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Bye!

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Ciao! Laters.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Right. Now it's time for the best part of the show.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23The Only Way Is Blondie.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Well, clap, then!

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Since I was so popular on The Johnny and Inel Show last year

0:10:36 > 0:10:39the BBC have decided to give me my own show!

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Standard!

0:10:41 > 0:10:43PHONE RINGS Sorry, I really have to take this.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Hugo, talk to me.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47You're taking a phone call mid-proposal?

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Shall we say au revoir?

0:10:49 > 0:10:50The world does not revolve round you.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53Step out of your bubble, and focus on someone else for a change.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57- Are you trying to say I'm selfish? - Yes, I am, young lady.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00Oh, my God, I want to die!

0:11:02 > 0:11:07Oh, my gosh. I swear down my family make my life so difficult.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10It's always about them, them, them. Never about me.

0:11:10 > 0:11:14What have I got going on? Nothing. Zilch.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19Sometimes being the coolest girl in school is like proper long.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22You get me?

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Just bring on some action.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34Oh, my golly gosh! You're causin' a scene, sir!

0:11:34 > 0:11:39Well, credit where credit is due, it was my idea to run a talent show.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41To bring all the students together

0:11:41 > 0:11:43and find the most talented pupil in the school.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45- It's causing a real star. - Let me see.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Stanton High's Got Talent?

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Yeah, yeah. Find the most talented pupil in the school?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Don't need a competition for that. Obviously it's me.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58- Oh, and you girls. - Obviously.- Obviously!

0:11:58 > 0:12:02- Hey, it says you can win VIP tickets.- Oh, my gosh.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05First prize - VIP tickets, backstage, access all areas,

0:12:05 > 0:12:07go where you want to, super special tickets

0:12:07 > 0:12:11to Jynel's biggest concert to date?!

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Oh, my golly gosh, it's Jynel!

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Obviously, when I found out first prize was to meet Jynel

0:12:17 > 0:12:21in person, I kept my composure.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Michelle and Ruby, on the other hand...

0:12:23 > 0:12:24THEY SCREAM

0:12:24 > 0:12:27The Jynel tickets were my idea.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Their second album's a real stormer.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31- I love them!- Who doesn't, Michelle?

0:12:31 > 0:12:35- We definitely have to win this talent competition.- Oh, yeah.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37# We're gonna win - and step

0:12:37 > 0:12:39# Gonna win - and back

0:12:39 > 0:12:41# Gonna win - and back

0:12:41 > 0:12:43# Gonna win - and step

0:12:43 > 0:12:45# Gonna win - and push

0:12:45 > 0:12:46# Gonna win - and step

0:12:46 > 0:12:49# Gonna win - and push... #

0:12:49 > 0:12:54Sorry to interrupt, but I thought I heard you say that

0:12:54 > 0:12:57you were going to win the school talent competition?

0:12:57 > 0:12:59I just wanted to come over here and correct you -

0:12:59 > 0:13:02I think you'll find that I'm going to win.

0:13:02 > 0:13:06And anything you three produce is going to be...

0:13:06 > 0:13:08How do I put this nicely...?

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Wickedy-wickedy-wickedy...wah.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Whatever, Shanice, oh my gosh.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16You're so dumb, you keep forgetting the lyrics

0:13:16 > 0:13:19to Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Well, then, I guess this challenge is officially on.

0:13:22 > 0:13:26- Oh, it's on, Shanice. - It couldn't be any more on.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30- Shanice, are you not listening? I just said it's on!- On!

0:13:30 > 0:13:32On, diddley-on.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Onny-onny on-on.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38# On and on and on... #

0:13:38 > 0:13:41I don't think she heard me, girls.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44I said, it's on, on, on - on.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48# On, on, on, on-on-on!

0:13:48 > 0:13:50# On, on, on, on-on-on! #

0:13:50 > 0:13:51Are you quite finished?

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Not yet.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54# On, on, on, on-on-on!

0:13:54 > 0:13:56# On, on, on, on-on-on! #

0:13:56 > 0:13:57Now I'm done.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00On, on, on.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03- # On and on and on... # - ECHOING

0:14:05 > 0:14:09You, Michelle, are officially out of the Destiny's Child

0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Single Ladies super-talented dance group.- What?!

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Do you know what, Blondie, I'm done being friends with you.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19You're well aggress.

0:14:19 > 0:14:20What did you just say?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22I said...we're done!

0:14:22 > 0:14:24Laters!

0:14:24 > 0:14:29'Looks like Blondie might be in a bit of bother with Ruby and Michelle.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33'I could do with a haircut. But I don't think I'll go to The Salon.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35What if I don't like it?

0:14:39 > 0:14:42Welcome to the Great Ernesto's salon.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45And me - Julio.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48The great Bob Hoskins once said to me...

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Julio! Play me some music.

0:14:56 > 0:14:57DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:14:59 > 0:15:02Julio! I have it.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05- Phone charger.- Phone charger!

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Julio! Tape.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Tape!

0:15:18 > 0:15:21It is done! Voila!

0:15:22 > 0:15:25Oh... I don't like it.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28PHONE RINGS Julio!

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Hello? Ah, yes. It's for you.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34'Now let's get to the checkout and see Rudy and Boyyer.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40'Baggit!'

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Yo, bruv. You've only got a few items.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49You might want to use self-checkout till.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52We don't get involved with only a few items, you get me?

0:15:52 > 0:15:56- We are highly-skilled checkout assistants.- Mm.- Don't time-waste.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59Look, I'm in a bit of a rush, so can you just put those through?

0:15:59 > 0:16:02Well, I can see you only got a few items

0:16:02 > 0:16:05so you don't need a bag so I'm going to bounce, yeah?

0:16:05 > 0:16:09No, I'd like a bag, please, just hurry up, yeah?

0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Hurry up.- You only have a few items,

0:16:11 > 0:16:13you should be able to carry them in your arms.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15If not, you'd better get on the weights, bruv.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18Exactly. And every time you take a plastic bag,

0:16:18 > 0:16:19that's bad for the environment.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24You're acting like it's biodegradable, bruv.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27Exactly. Do you know how long these things take to decompose, bruv?

0:16:27 > 0:16:30If there was a nuclear war, the only thing that'd be left is

0:16:30 > 0:16:32cockroaches and plastic bags.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35Oh, just stick it in the bag, yeah?

0:16:36 > 0:16:40Are you kidding, bruv? He's just told you how bad it is

0:16:40 > 0:16:42for the environment, bruv. You got polar bears dying,

0:16:42 > 0:16:46rising sea levels, bruv, tsunamis, bruv,

0:16:46 > 0:16:49and all cos you can't carry your shopping, bruv.

0:16:49 > 0:16:53- Now, are you sure you want a bag, bruv?- Yeah, I'm sure.

0:16:55 > 0:17:00Well, can I at least interest you in making that a Bag for Life, bruv?

0:17:00 > 0:17:03No, Boyyer, she don't care about life...

0:17:03 > 0:17:05besides, I ain't giving her a bag anyway.

0:17:05 > 0:17:10I operate a strict "no bag for less than five items" policy.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Good policy.- I couldn't look my dog in the eye otherwise.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Yeah, just come on!

0:17:15 > 0:17:20No, bruv, don't argue with me, I'm saving tomorrow's world.

0:17:20 > 0:17:24- Sandwich - don't bag it!- Nope. - Drink - don't bag it.- Nah.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28- Mixed food - don't bag it.- Ah. - Weird thing with a duck on -

0:17:28 > 0:17:29- don't bag it.- Don't need it.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34Y'all, next time you need to self-checkout, like we said -

0:17:34 > 0:17:36save the planet.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Think green.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40Do your thing.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41Stay blessed.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Nice one...

0:17:45 > 0:17:47I wonder who's taken over the studio this time?

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Wagwan, peeps?

0:17:49 > 0:17:50- ALL:- WAGWAN!

0:17:50 > 0:17:52- Rudy and Boyyer in the building. - Do this.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Check this, check this! Pack of crisps...

0:17:55 > 0:17:56- ALL:- BAGGIT!

0:17:56 > 0:17:58- Orange juice...- BAGGIT!

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Bobble...- BAGGIT! - Smelly trainer...

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Nah, nah, nah, nah.

0:18:03 > 0:18:04Hold up, hold up.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07No man, no man, that trainer's stinky, bruv.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11That needs to go back where it belongs, do you get me?

0:18:11 > 0:18:15Yeah, true. Boyyer is saying we can't bag it, guys, we can't bag it.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17Seriously, though, I get what you're saying.

0:18:17 > 0:18:21- Ain't no shop taking this back on returns, bruv.- Mmm.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25Wow, that smells worse than a smelly armpit, bruv.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28That's what I'm saying, bruv, even if the man had the receipt and it

0:18:28 > 0:18:30was still within the 28 days returns windows,

0:18:30 > 0:18:32still wouldn't be happening, bruv.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34LAUGHTER

0:18:34 > 0:18:35- Nah, dreaming.- Yes...

0:18:35 > 0:18:37HE GROANS

0:18:37 > 0:18:40Do you know what? Speaking about work, our shift starts in

0:18:40 > 0:18:43- about five minutes, Boyyer, we need to jerk, bruv.- Hmm.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46Let me give the smelly trainer back to my man here

0:18:46 > 0:18:49- and then we got to bounce. - Cool, cool. I just thought a little

0:18:49 > 0:18:52something was going down but it's a bit long, still. Let's go.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55- Let's go, later, peeps, later, peeps.- Nice one, yeah.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00It's a disgrace.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03What are those two doing out the supermarket and on our studio floor?

0:19:03 > 0:19:08- Hmm. They were quite good, as well. - That's not the point.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10The point is...

0:19:10 > 0:19:11- that you brought me in here, Inel. - What?

0:19:11 > 0:19:13We'll be running low on oxygen soon.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16- You're going to have to stop breathing.- Don't be silly.

0:19:16 > 0:19:20If anyone has to stop breathing round here it's Brennan.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26Hold it... hold it, hold it...

0:19:26 > 0:19:29The new portable embarrassment hole.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31With our portable embarrassment hole,

0:19:31 > 0:19:34you can escape from ridicule in a split second.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37With its patented shame resistant technology

0:19:37 > 0:19:40you can disappear until the heat dies down.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43Use our portable embarrassment hole to save you from

0:19:43 > 0:19:45overbearing parental care!

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Awkward beverage spillage!

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Or public telling-off from a teacher.

0:19:58 > 0:19:59Hold it...

0:20:01 > 0:20:02Hold it!

0:20:04 > 0:20:06I got it!

0:20:06 > 0:20:07DIALS PHONE

0:20:11 > 0:20:13PHONE RINGS

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Hello, Schoolroom Solutions -

0:20:15 > 0:20:18have your pocket money ready, cos we are happy to help.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20CHATTERING DOWN LINE Oh, yes...

0:20:20 > 0:20:24Course you can buy one, yeah, yeah. There are no refunds though...

0:20:24 > 0:20:27OK, well I'll get it sent over to the studio right now.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Hey, everyone! Everyone! We can use this

0:20:35 > 0:20:39- to take back the show!- Yes! - Form an orderly queue behind Inel,

0:20:39 > 0:20:42and remember, health and safety is paramount -

0:20:42 > 0:20:43we don't want any accidents.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46Right, here I go!

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Oh, it worked!

0:20:48 > 0:20:49You all right, guys?

0:20:49 > 0:20:52- ALL:- Yeah.- Good.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56I love it when a jolly scheme comes together.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59- ALL:- WHOA!

0:20:59 > 0:21:01I'm here. Here I come.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03To save the day.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05LAUGHTER

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Where are they, these troublemakers?

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Stop, don't start any trouble till they get here.

0:21:10 > 0:21:11I specialise in trouble.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14I'm just pleased to be back on the studio floor where we belong.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16Oh, I hear you there, Johnny!

0:21:16 > 0:21:18And...cut.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23Wrap it up, please, we've run out of studio time.

0:21:23 > 0:21:24THEY GROAN

0:21:26 > 0:21:29CHEERING

0:21:29 > 0:21:32Wow, man, what are you two doing here?

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Newsflash, this is the Johnny and Inel Show, innit, guys?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37- ALL:- Yeah!

0:21:37 > 0:21:40We're meant to be here, and double newsflash,

0:21:40 > 0:21:43the only way is not Blondie.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46Oh, my gosh, you're sounding just like Johnny Kyle right now.

0:21:46 > 0:21:50How dare you try and kick us off our own show?

0:21:50 > 0:21:54Er, for your information, the takeover was all Johnny Kyle's idea.

0:21:54 > 0:21:59Oh, in fact, he threatened to cut The Only Way Is Blondie!

0:21:59 > 0:22:02And I had to go along with him!

0:22:03 > 0:22:04For my fans.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07I knew it was Johnny Kyle. Always picking on the little man.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Er, does that mean I'm free to go, then, yeah?

0:22:09 > 0:22:14All right. Yeah... See you, later.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16- ALL: Bye!- Bye, ciao! Auf wiedersehen.

0:22:16 > 0:22:20Au revoir, arrivederci!

0:22:20 > 0:22:22I'm just pleased we got our show back, Inel.

0:22:22 > 0:22:26- I'm with you there, brother.- Yeah, just in time to wrap it up.- Oh.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29- I suppose we'd better say goodbye, then?- Fair enough.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Well, Johnny and Inel are going to keep making it look good.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35The only way Johnny and Inel could, aha!

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Hit the music!

0:22:37 > 0:22:38BELL RINGS

0:22:38 > 0:22:42- I'm so glad we didn't get involved in the takeover.- We?

0:22:42 > 0:22:46You, ya mean? You wanted to. If Johnny and Inel didn't get out

0:22:46 > 0:22:50the green room when they did... boy! You were lucky!

0:22:50 > 0:22:55- I'm born lucky!- Lucky, Fro Fro. Just so you know,

0:22:55 > 0:22:58no-one messes with my show and gets away with it.

0:22:58 > 0:22:59Just a joke!

0:22:59 > 0:23:04- Just a joke!- Shampoo, afro comb, scissors...

0:23:04 > 0:23:05Ahh!

0:23:05 > 0:23:09- LAUGHTER - Afro comb...! Heh-heh!

0:23:09 > 0:23:12- What you laughing at, Beenie? - Shampoo, heh-heh!

0:23:12 > 0:23:15- You're out of order. - They're just jokes, man.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18- It is a joke.- Mmm.

0:23:18 > 0:23:19BELL RINGS