0:00:02 > 0:00:04Across the UK sightings have been reported
0:00:04 > 0:00:06of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07What does it want from us?
0:00:07 > 0:00:11Thousands of children hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:20..The Joke Master.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Did someone say my name?
0:00:22 > 0:00:25And this is The Joke Machine.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Joke machine, activate!
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Oh! Joke machine, activate!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37MACHINE RUMBLES
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Where are we going?
0:00:41 > 0:00:43THEY SCREAM
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Let's get cracking, jokers!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Come on, come on, come on. I want some jokes!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57A guy goes into a restaurant and he says,
0:00:57 > 0:01:00"Waitress, will my pizza be long?"
0:01:00 > 0:01:01And the waitress says,
0:01:01 > 0:01:03"No, sir, it will be round."
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Ha-ha-ha! That's really good. Ah...have I got any pizza here?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Yay!
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Send in the next one!
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Why are bananas so good at gymnastics?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Cos they're great at doing the splits.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- BUZZER - Oh, that really hurt my funny bone. Get out.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21You creep, get a life!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Look around, yeah? I've got like a spaceship, yeah?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27That's the best kind of life a man could have!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Ahh!
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Have fun in the sun.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Doctor, Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my nose.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Oh, yes, I can see. Do you want some cream with that?
0:01:40 > 0:01:43You put they OK in joke.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Oh, yeah!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51How do you stop from dying?
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Stand in the living room.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- BUZZER - So awful!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57You should not be the Joke Master!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59What, who's going to be the Joke Master?
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Cos it sure as heck isn't going to be you.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Ha-ha-ha!
0:02:03 > 0:02:04I think you've beaten me.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06La-la-la!
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Ah!
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Start running, buddy. - It's getting close!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17You can't run fast enough, can you? Ha-ha-ha!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21So much backchat.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23What runs around a field but never moves?
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Don't know.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26A fence.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Ha-ha, yes! Funny and factual.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Yes, mate!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Do the robot, do the robot.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Jeff though an onion was the only food that could make him cry,
0:02:40 > 0:02:42so they hit him in the head with a coconut.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- BUZZER - You've just reported a crime.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Uf...
0:02:48 > 0:02:49I'll get you.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Bring me the new class!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03ALL: Oh, yeah!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09One, two, three... Jokes!
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I've got the brand-newest BMW...
0:03:12 > 0:03:14The proper brand-newest...
0:03:14 > 0:03:17My friend has the oldest one. We decided to...
0:03:17 > 0:03:18BOOS
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I put on...
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Next!
0:03:22 > 0:03:24What's Rihanna's favourite fruit?
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Ba-na-na, what's my name?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Oh, cos it rhymes! It rhymes!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Yes!
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Cos I love a rhyme.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35What do bunnies like to play?
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Don't know.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Hopscotch.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Oh, my Lord, that is bad.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43You are pathetic!
0:03:43 > 0:03:47I'm not pathetic! You know who's...pathetic?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49I...it's not me!
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Ahh!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Ahh! Who's a good boy?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57What's the hardest key to turn?
0:03:57 > 0:03:58A donkey.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00A donkey, yes!
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Nice entrance.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Why is a horse like a wedding? - I don't know.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12They need a groom.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- BUZZER - Well, I'm trying to see the funny, but I just can't see it.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18You wouldn't know funny if it hit your face.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Grr!
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Next!
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Why is it not ideal to play cards in the jungle?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Because there are too many "cheetahs."
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- BUZZER - Yeah, the thing is cheetahs live on the grassland.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36There'd be no need for their speed in the jungle. Get out.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Hmm... Who is the victor?
0:04:45 > 0:04:46It was...
0:04:46 > 0:04:48You!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Hamstel Junior!
0:04:53 > 0:04:54ALL: Boo!
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Oh, thumbs down. Oh, I'm scared.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Some good jokes there, team, but not enough!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04So we're going to have to do this again. Joke you later!