0:00:02 > 0:00:04Across the UK, sightings have been reported
0:00:04 > 0:00:05of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07What does it want from us?
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Thousands of children hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:10 > 0:00:15One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:19..The Joke Master.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22That's my name, don't wear it out!
0:00:23 > 0:00:26And this is The Joke Machine.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:31 > 0:00:33MACHINE RUMBLES
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40MACHINE RUMBLES
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Where are we going?
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Let's get cracking, jokers!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes!
0:00:57 > 0:00:58I want more!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- What do you get if you sit under a cow?- What?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02A pat on the head.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- BUZZER - Crikey, that is a bad joke.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08And what would your mother say about that?
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Do not bring my joke mother into this.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Ha-ha-ha! Yes!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20I was walking down the street
0:01:20 > 0:01:23and then this lady started throwing cheese at me and I said,
0:01:23 > 0:01:25"Yeah, that's real mature."
0:01:25 > 0:01:27That joke is Gouda!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30That is how it is done.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Now we're cooking with laughs. Next one...
0:01:32 > 0:01:35How many letters are in the alphabet?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38A, b, c...g, h, i...
0:01:38 > 0:01:4025. I don't know Y. BUZZER
0:01:40 > 0:01:42I don't know "why" you thought that was funny.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Don't like you.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46The feeling is mutual.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Doctor, Doctor, I swallowed the phone from my camera.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Oh, dear, let's hope nothing develops.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- Oh, yes!- Yes!
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Come on, I want some jokes.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Cos he had a very big bill.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- BUZZER - Ew, ew.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Rude.
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Ah!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Next batter.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Why did the fish jump out of the sea?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Cos of the sea weed.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22BUZZER
0:02:22 > 0:02:24ALARM
0:02:24 > 0:02:28My wish is for no joke featuring fish.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Cupcake's wish is for you to be a tasty dish.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Ah!
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Yum, yum, yum.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Bring in the next victims! I mean, jokers.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49ALL: Rainbow Forge!
0:02:52 > 0:02:57OK, class two, am I buying what you are selling? Hm?
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Hiya.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Sit down, I'll deal with you later.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08APPLAUSE
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Yay!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Let's keep it going.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17"Rocket."
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- BUZZER - I'm disappointed in you.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Whatever.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Ahhhh!
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Next joke.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Why was the computer cold?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28It didn't shut its Windows.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Great!
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Oh, what have you got?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36What you call a fly with no wings?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38A walk.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- BUZZER - That is bad.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42And what do you now about jokes?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44I'm the Joke Master.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Prove it, then.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48All right, I will. A dinosaur walks into a...
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Whoa, is that the time? Got to go, bye.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56This better not be a bad one.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58What's a frog's favourite drink?
0:03:58 > 0:03:59What?
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Croaka-Cola.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04Fee-fi-fo-funny!
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Ho-ho-ho.- I love what you've done with this Joke Machine.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Send in the next one.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are coming together as a joke website.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16What's it going to be called?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18You twit face. BUZZER
0:04:18 > 0:04:21I don't know what any of those things you've smashed together are.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Well, at least I know what they mean.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Yeah, I'm sure you do, Mr Smuggy-Smug.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Why don't you go... and play with your...
0:04:28 > 0:04:31face...twit...page.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32I can do what I want.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Get out of the Joke Machine!
0:04:38 > 0:04:41I wonder who won that one. Hm?
0:04:41 > 0:04:42It was...
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Bingo!
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Rainbow Forge.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Sniff, sniff. You guys smell like losers.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Some good jokes there, but not enough!
0:04:57 > 0:05:00So, I'll have to see you later. Joke you next time.