0:00:02 > 0:00:03Across the UK...
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07What does it want from us?
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Thousands of children...
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:11 > 0:00:16One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:20The Joke Master.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Did someone say....
0:00:22 > 0:00:24..my name?
0:00:24 > 0:00:26This is The Joke Machine.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Joke Machine activate.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34ELECTRICITY CRACKLES Ooh! Aah!
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Aaargh!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Joke Machine activate...?
0:00:39 > 0:00:40MACHINE WHIRS
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Where are we going?
0:00:45 > 0:00:49- ALL:- Birchgrove Primary - we're the stars!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Let's get cracking, jokers!
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Go for it. Good luck.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02What do you call a dog that loves bubble bath?
0:01:02 > 0:01:03What?
0:01:03 > 0:01:04A shampoodle.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Twinkle, twinkle, you're a little star.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Yay!
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Woo! Now we're cooking with laughs.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14What is an egg's favourite thing to do?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Kara-yolky.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18You've got to be yolking!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Yay!
0:01:20 > 0:01:21HE CHUCKLES Love a pun.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Why was the baby strawberry crying?
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Why?
0:01:24 > 0:01:26His parents were stuck in a jam!
0:01:26 > 0:01:27BUZZER Denied!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29PFFRRT!
0:01:29 > 0:01:30Grrr!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Aah!
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Ooh!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Ha, ha, you got any more?!
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Actually, I've got loads.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Oof!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Come on, buddy. Hit me with it.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Suddenly my friends started throwing "TH" words at me!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I managed to miss "this", "that" and "then",
0:01:47 > 0:01:48but I didn't see "that" coming.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51BUZZER I don't know how to put "this",
0:01:51 > 0:01:54but "that" is not funny.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58- You're not funny either! - Don't you know who I am?
0:01:58 > 0:01:59The Joke Master.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01You should give me more respect.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04How did you become a judge when you're not even funny?
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Hey, I'm like the Queen -
0:02:06 > 0:02:08do not question me.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Aaah!
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Next.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Whoa, whoa...
0:02:16 > 0:02:18I think I'm seeing double.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- BOTH:- How do crazy people go through the forest?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24They take a psychopath.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Boom, boom, boom!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Yay!
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Mwah!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32My thumbs are twins!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33"Hello!"
0:02:33 > 0:02:35What do houses wear?
0:02:35 > 0:02:36"Address".
0:02:36 > 0:02:37SILENCE
0:02:37 > 0:02:38Oh, I get it! Yes!
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Oh, you had me for a second!
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Yes!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48New class, new jokes.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56- ALL:- Yeaahhh!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Welcome to the Joke Machine.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Now, get joking.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Calm down, you're in the right place.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Why did the croc cross the road?
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Cos he wanted to dial the phone.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13BUZZER Eh-ehh.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Croc-o-dile.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17I did get it, it's just not funny, mate.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19MOO!
0:03:19 > 0:03:21That's what I'm talking about.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Where do sheep get their hair cut?
0:03:23 > 0:03:24The baaa-bers.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Yee-hah!
0:03:26 > 0:03:28I'm going to lasso me some funny.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Woo!
0:03:30 > 0:03:31Yes!
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Next joke.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Are...you...funny?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Course I am! I'm from Liverpool.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Oh, here we go, then.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
0:03:43 > 0:03:44An investigator.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46BUZZER Well, now I'm in a bad mood!
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Bring in the next one.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- How did the barber win the race? - How?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Because he knew a short cut.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Splendid. Just splendid.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Get in there, baby, get in there!
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Hee, hee, yeah!
0:04:03 > 0:04:05What did the sea say to the penguin?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Nothing, it just waved.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09BUZZER Brrrrr!
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Well, that joke has left me feeling like a penguin -
0:04:12 > 0:04:14cold.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Well, you don't know what you're talking about!
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Go, go, go!
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- What do you call a chicken with the nose of a cow?- What?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Nosey chicken.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28BUZZER Wow!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31I didn't know a joke could BE that bad.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Aah!
0:04:33 > 0:04:34Hmmm...
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Who was the victor?
0:04:37 > 0:04:38It was...
0:04:38 > 0:04:41you.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- ALL:- Yeah! - Birchgrove!
0:04:45 > 0:04:46- ALL:- Boo!
0:04:46 > 0:04:49And that is what losing tastes like, St Matthew's.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Some good jokes there, team.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54But not enough!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56So, we're going to have to do this again.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Joke you later!