0:28:02 > 0:28:04Across the UK sightings have been reported of a
0:28:04 > 0:28:05mysterious object in the sky.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07What does it want from us?
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Thousands of children hoping they will be chosen.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12One man is on a mission
0:28:12 > 0:28:15to find the funniest jokes.
0:28:15 > 0:28:16He is...
0:28:18 > 0:28:19..The Joke Master.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Did someone say my name?
0:28:21 > 0:28:24And this is The Joke Machine.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Joke Machine, activate!
0:28:30 > 0:28:31CRASHING
0:28:35 > 0:28:36Joke Machine, activate.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Where are we going?
0:28:42 > 0:28:45- THEY SHOUT:- Yeah!
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Let's get cracking, jokers.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Hello, little lady.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
0:28:59 > 0:29:00I don't know.
0:29:00 > 0:29:01Jurassic Pork.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04That is up there with the one-eyed dinosaur, do-you-think-he-saurus?
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Yes, he did!
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Thanks. You're so cool. I'm going to put you on my good list.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12And I'm going to put you on my funny list.
0:29:12 > 0:29:13It's not a very long list.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16- Knock-knock.- Who's there?
0:29:16 > 0:29:18- Fix.- Fix who?
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Fix the doorbell. It's broken.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22And what a creative way
0:29:22 > 0:29:24to let someone know their doorbell's broken.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27- Ah.- Yay.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31And the hits a-keep o-o-on coming.
0:29:31 > 0:29:32What day do fish hate?
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Fry-day.
0:29:35 > 0:29:36BUZZER SOUNDS
0:29:37 > 0:29:38Fish!
0:29:38 > 0:29:41You know how much I don't like fish!
0:29:43 > 0:29:45Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:29:45 > 0:29:47Why was the star famous?
0:29:47 > 0:29:50Because of its hit single Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54- BUZZER SOUNDS - Ah, that joke was horrible.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56Are you describing your face?
0:29:58 > 0:30:00Bring in the next one.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03What's invisible and smells like carrots?
0:30:03 > 0:30:04What?
0:30:04 > 0:30:05A rabbit fart.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07- BUZZER SOUNDS - Phoom!
0:30:07 > 0:30:08Did you see that? That was funny.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11It just flew by and you failed to catch it.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13You're a waste of space.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Oh, come on! Give me a good one.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21Why did the tomato turn red?
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Cos it saw the salad dressing.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27Yes! Yes, that is a great joke!
0:30:27 > 0:30:28(Yes!)
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Come to me, class two, for I need jokes.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42THEY CHEER
0:30:46 > 0:30:47Joke time.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52# Hit me with your joke, yeah. #
0:30:52 > 0:30:54What is a duck detective's goal?
0:30:54 > 0:30:55To "quack" the case.
0:30:55 > 0:30:56BUZZER SOUNDS
0:30:59 > 0:31:00Send in the next one.
0:31:01 > 0:31:05- What do you get if you cross a monastery with a potato?- Dunno.
0:31:05 > 0:31:06Chipmunk.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08- BUZZER - They hide their nuts for the winter,
0:31:08 > 0:31:10but they also hid the funny in that joke.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13Don't let your mind run loose in the world, it's too small
0:31:13 > 0:31:15to be out by itself.
0:31:15 > 0:31:16- See ya.- Argh!
0:31:19 > 0:31:20Tell me your joke.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23- What does a barber do to the moon's hair?- What?
0:31:23 > 0:31:26- "Eclipse" it.- He-he-he, that's...
0:31:26 > 0:31:27HE LAUGHS
0:31:27 > 0:31:28(Yes!)
0:31:31 > 0:31:33What do you call a flying skunk?
0:31:34 > 0:31:35A smellicopter.
0:31:35 > 0:31:39- MAKES NONSENSICAL SOUNDS - G-d-g-d-g-d, neeee.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42No, there's no funny to save here. OK, beee-ei!
0:31:45 > 0:31:48A man took his dog to the vet's.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50The vet picked the dog up
0:31:50 > 0:31:51and said to the man,
0:31:51 > 0:31:54"I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down."
0:31:54 > 0:31:57The man said, "Oh, my gosh. Why?"
0:31:57 > 0:31:58And the vet said, "Cos he's too heavy."
0:31:58 > 0:32:00- BUZZER SOUNDS - Whoooo-whiiii.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Not funny.
0:32:02 > 0:32:03You're creepy anyway.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05Hey, say sorry.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07- No.- Say sorry.
0:32:07 > 0:32:08No.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11I bet you can't even spell "sorry".
0:32:11 > 0:32:13S-O-R-R-Y.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Apology accepted. Goodbye.
0:32:16 > 0:32:17Ahhh!
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Ha-ha-ha-ha.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25I just need a good joke.
0:32:26 > 0:32:27What do you call this?
0:32:29 > 0:32:31A pea on a fork.
0:32:31 > 0:32:32What do you call this?
0:32:33 > 0:32:35A happy Joke Master.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37CHEERING Yay.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41Hm, who should win?
0:32:41 > 0:32:43Um...
0:32:43 > 0:32:44HE DRUMROLLS
0:32:44 > 0:32:45You!
0:32:46 > 0:32:48- Wormholt. - THEY CHEER
0:32:50 > 0:32:52- ALL:- Boo!- See you later, Cestria.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56Whoo, got some good jokes there, didn't we?
0:32:56 > 0:32:58But we need more ha-ha.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00Eh-ah! Uh!
0:33:00 > 0:33:01Joke you later!