0:00:01 > 0:00:04Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06What does it want from us?
0:00:06 > 0:00:09Thousands of children are hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:09 > 0:00:14One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15He is...
0:00:16 > 0:00:19..the Joke Master.
0:00:19 > 0:00:20Did someone say my name?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23And this is The Joke Machine.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Oh, Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Where are we going?
0:00:46 > 0:00:50L-L-L-Let's get cracking, Jokers.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54What have we got?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Why did the man put his trumpet in the fridge?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- I don't know. - Because he likes cool music.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05That is percussion for...good joke, my friend.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Yes!
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I know.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11He's not happy at Christmas.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Who?
0:01:12 > 0:01:15The turkey, because it's always stuffed.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Is there any funny in that joke?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20No! There's nothing, there is no funny there!
0:01:25 > 0:01:29# La la la la... #
0:01:29 > 0:01:34Teacher says to the pupil, "Why were you so late for school?"
0:01:34 > 0:01:37The pupil said, "Because of the sign."
0:01:37 > 0:01:40The teacher says, "What sign?" The pupil says,
0:01:40 > 0:01:44"The one that says, 'Slow down, school ahead'."
0:01:44 > 0:01:45I wish you'd slowed down to a stop
0:01:45 > 0:01:48so you didn't arrive here today to tell me that joke.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Have you ever heard a joke before? - Not one as bad as that.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Come on, buddy, hit me with it.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00How do you make a skeleton laugh?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02You tickle its funny bone.
0:02:02 > 0:02:07And you've tickled MY funny bone. Leave it alone, leave it alone.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Yes!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Say it. Go on, say it.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Nacho cheese.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Ai, ai, ai!
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Yeah!
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Class two, what have you got?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Welcome to the Joke Machine. Now, get joking.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Where am I?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57You're in the Joke Machine. Now tell me a joke.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01How does a cat describe itself with no money?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- How?- Paw.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Now, THAT is a joke.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Yes!
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Next.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Nice tie.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Why?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- Because he was standing on the deck. - Denied!
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Hit me with it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- Why did the computer need glasses? - Why?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29To improve his website.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Yes, I like it, I like it a lot.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Why can't cars play football?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Because they only have one boot.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42You can't play football with one boot.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Yeah!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Have you heard the joke about the dustbin?
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Well, don't listen - it's a load of rubbish.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Oh, here's the garbage truck. It's coming to take your joke away.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59SHE SCREAMS
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Get me out of here!
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Oh, come on, give me a good one.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- Why did the dog get in trouble?- Why?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Because he was playing too ruff!
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Oh, that joke was ruff!
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Bigger boo!
0:04:13 > 0:04:14What was that?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Bigger boo!- How dare you?
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Hiya.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- What did the talking cat say to the scarf?- I don't know.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27You can just hang around and I'll go on a head.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Oh, I've got a funny one here.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Yes!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Now, who was the victor?
0:04:38 > 0:04:41It was...you!
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Abbey Catholic.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51Don't be a player hater, be a congratulator.
0:04:51 > 0:04:56Hoo! We've got some funny stuff. Funny stuff.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Not any more! So joke you later, Jokesters.