0:00:02 > 0:00:04Across the UK, sightings have been reported
0:00:04 > 0:00:06of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07What does it want from us?
0:00:07 > 0:00:11Thousands of children hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:11 > 0:00:16One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:16 > 0:00:17He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:20..the Joke Master.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22That's my name, don't wear it out.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25And this is the Joke Machine.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34MACHINE RUMBLES
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:38 > 0:00:41MACHINE RUMBLES
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Where are we going?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46ALL: Yay!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Let's get cracking, jokers!
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Ah, first up. Let's see how it goes.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Why did Tigger stick his head down the toilet?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Because he was looking for Pooh.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Double meaning, double funny.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Joke it up.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13What did the cat say when she looked in the mirror?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Don't know.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16Check me-out.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- BUZZER - Grr! That was so bad.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Oh, get a life, you weirdo.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Tell you what's weird...
0:01:28 > 0:01:31All right, double bunches. What have you got?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33What did Harry Potter say
0:01:33 > 0:01:36when he saw Ron Weasley playing tennis
0:01:36 > 0:01:38dressed as the prisoner of Azkaban?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41"You cannot not be Sirius!"
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Do you get that, Joke Machine?
0:01:44 > 0:01:45It was a long set-up, wasn't it?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I thought she was going to read us the whole book.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51- Oh, my gosh, you need to see the doctor.- Why?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Why, has it flared up again?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Oh, you tricky trickster.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06How did the chewing gum cross the road?
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Pshh, don't know.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09It was stuck to the chicken's claw.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13- BUZZER - Disaster! That is an awful joke.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Ha-ha-ha.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?- Why?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Cos the "P" is silent.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- BUZZER - What do you mean? It's like a ninja P?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Well, you're obviously an idiot because you can't spell pterodactyl.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31I do know how to spell it. You don't know how to pronounce it.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34It's p-terodactyl.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Ahh!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Oh, come on. Give me a good one!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43The past, present, and future walked into a bar.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Things started to get very tense.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Ha-ha-ha, I love clever jokes!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Yay!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54New class, new jokes.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03THEY CHEER
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Welcome to the Joke Machine. Now, get joking.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Go, go, go!
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Why did the potato have a mobile phone?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Go on.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Just in case onion rings.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22That is a good joke!
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Yay!
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Hello, what joke have you got?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32What's red and smells like blue paint?
0:03:32 > 0:03:33I don't know, what?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Red paint.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36- BUZZER - No...No!
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Why is England the wettest country?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Cos the queen's "reigned" there for years.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49You are the prince of funny.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Yes!
0:03:51 > 0:03:52What have you got for me?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Why did the cow cross the road?
0:03:54 > 0:03:57To go to the m-o-o-o-vies.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Heh-heh, how about you m-o-o-ve along?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Ah!
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Please be funny. Please be funny. Please be funny.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Did you hear of the man who fell into the upholstery machine?
0:04:08 > 0:04:09No, I didn't hear of him.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11He's fully re-covered.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14That is a neat joke and I love it.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16You're quite funny yourself, aren't you?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19That's really nice of you to say. I don't get many compliments.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- What did the tonsil say to the other tonsil?- Don't know.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Hurry up, get dressed. The doctor's taking us out tonight.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Woo-hoo!
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Yay!
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Hmm... Who should win?
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Um...
0:04:37 > 0:04:38You!
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Stunning stuff, Spring Hill.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43ALL: Boo!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46So, that's what losing feels like. Well, I wouldn't know.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Hoo! Got some good jokes there, didn't we?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52But me need more ha-ha. Iya-oh!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Joke you later!