0:00:02 > 0:00:05'Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.'
0:00:05 > 0:00:08'What does it want from us? Thousands of children...'
0:00:08 > 0:00:11'Hoping they will be chosen.'
0:00:11 > 0:00:15One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:19..the Joke Master.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22That's my name! Don't wear it out.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25And THIS is the Joke Machine!
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:31 > 0:00:32LOUD THUDDING
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Ugh!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:38 > 0:00:41ELECTRONIC WHIRRING AND BEEPING
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Where are we going?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46- CHILDREN:- Birley Spa!
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Let's get cracking, Jokers!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Give me some jokes!
0:00:55 > 0:00:59- What did the judge say when a skunk runs into the court?- What?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Odour in the court!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02That joke stinks!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04HE SCREAMS
0:01:06 > 0:01:07CRASH!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Hiya!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm an apple.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14"Then we must get to the core of this then."
0:01:14 > 0:01:15KLAXON
0:01:15 > 0:01:18The jury's verdict is in, and on charges of being funny,
0:01:18 > 0:01:20you have been found not guilty.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25What have you got?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27What do you call a bear with no teeth?
0:01:27 > 0:01:28A gummy bear.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I was going to turn up the funny on that, but I didn't need to!
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Yeah!
0:01:32 > 0:01:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:33 > 0:01:35That was such a good joke!
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Why did the boy put sugar on his pillow?
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Why?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Because he wanted to have sweet dreams.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Switching all the switches to try
0:01:42 > 0:01:47and distract myself from how unfunny that was.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I think it's very funny.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Another uppity child.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52No, I'm not.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53Yes, you are. Uppity, uppity.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Uppity, uppity, cuppity, cuppity, cupcake!
0:01:57 > 0:01:58SHE SCREAMS
0:01:58 > 0:02:00DINOSAUR ROARS AND SQUEALS
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Hello, little lady!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05What do you call a cheese that's not yours?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Say it. Say it! I can't wait for this. Say it!
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Nacho cheese.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Ay-yi-yi!
0:02:11 > 0:02:12MARIACHI MUSIC
0:02:21 > 0:02:22Woo-hoo!
0:02:22 > 0:02:24(Thank you.)
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Come to me, class two, for I need jokes.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34ELECTRONIC BEEPING
0:02:36 > 0:02:40- CHILDREN:- Bournemouth Park! Too cool for school!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Joke time!
0:02:47 > 0:02:48One, two, three, jokes!
0:02:48 > 0:02:52What does a tomato do when he misses his favourite show on TV?
0:02:52 > 0:02:53He uses ketchup.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Funny!
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Yay!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Come on, come on, come on! I want some jokes!
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Where am I?
0:03:00 > 0:03:04- You are in the Joke Master's lair. - What do I do?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Fill my ears with a joke.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Knock, knock.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Whom is there?
0:03:09 > 0:03:10A dare.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12A dare who?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14A dare once but I'm bored now.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15KLAXON
0:03:15 > 0:03:17No! I banish you!
0:03:18 > 0:03:20HE YELPS
0:03:20 > 0:03:21BOY TURNS INTO KITTEN AND MEWS
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Mwah-ha-ha-ha!
0:03:23 > 0:03:26If money doesn't grown on trees, then why do banks have branches?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29That is a good question, but it's also pretty funny.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Oh, my God, let's do the boogie. Ah. Uh-huh!
0:03:33 > 0:03:34HE LAUGHS
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Whoo!
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Hey, man. How was school today?
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Let's just get on with it.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Have you heard about the cafe in space?
0:03:42 > 0:03:43No.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Well, there's great food, but no atmosphere.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48And the atmosphere has been sucked out of that joke.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51You wouldn't know humour if it punched you in the face.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Did somebody say "punch in the face"?
0:03:56 > 0:03:57What biscuit flies?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59What biscuit flies?
0:03:59 > 0:04:00A "plain" biscuit.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01Of course it does!
0:04:01 > 0:04:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:02 > 0:04:04DING!
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Next joke.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Have you heard the news that a mummy in Egypt
0:04:07 > 0:04:09has been found dug up?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Not only that, it has been found in chocolate and nuts.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14They have named it Pharaoh Rocher.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18That was a long time to wait for an awful ending!
0:04:18 > 0:04:21I think you can't hear properly.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Hmm. Who was the victor?
0:04:27 > 0:04:28It was...
0:04:28 > 0:04:29DRUM ROLL
0:04:29 > 0:04:30..you!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Bournemouth Park!
0:04:33 > 0:04:34CHILDREN CHEER
0:04:36 > 0:04:39You need to ask for a new joke book this Christmas.
0:04:39 > 0:04:44Whoo! Some good jokes there. But I need more!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46So, see you again.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Joke you later!
0:04:49 > 0:04:50ELECTRONIC WHIRRING