0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Across the UK... - ..sightings have been reported
0:00:04 > 0:00:05of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07What does it want from us?
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Thousands of children...
0:00:09 > 0:00:10..hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13One man is on a mission
0:00:13 > 0:00:15to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:19..the Joke Master...
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Did someone say...
0:00:22 > 0:00:23..my name?
0:00:23 > 0:00:26..and this is The Joke Machine.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Joke machine, activate!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Argh! SIREN WAILS/ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Oooh! Ooh!
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Joke machine, activate?
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Where are we going?
0:00:45 > 0:00:49- ALL:- Westborough Primary! We rule the world!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Joke systems are go.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Is this joke going to be funny?
0:00:59 > 0:01:00We'll have to wait and see.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Hit me with it.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Which painting is never happy?
0:01:03 > 0:01:04I don't know, which one?
0:01:04 > 0:01:06The Moaning Lisa.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07Whoo!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10What can you say? I'm a natural.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Next.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Why was the computer cold?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Why was the computer cold?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17It left all its Windows open.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Yeah, that is two thumbs up, from you and from me.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Yeah!
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Send the next jokester in, please.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Why do elephants have big ears?
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31That is a triple, triple funny.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Boom! Yeah!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Boom! Yeah!
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- What do you call an adult balloon? - What?
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- A blown-up. - BUZZER
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Well, I don't like that joke.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43- You do.- I don't.- Yes, you do.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Wait, do I? Do I?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Stop playing these Jedi mind tricks.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Joke me up, hotshot.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Because KFC was on the other side.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01BUZZER Ehhhh! No.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03You have no sense of humour.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Pull a funnier face than me, then.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Can you make a funnier noise than me? Mwaaarp!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Myeh-myeh-MYEH!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13You've won a prize. It's right behind you.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16SHE SHRIEKS
0:02:16 > 0:02:18The house always wins.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22HE GURGLES GIBBERISH
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Hello?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Is it me you're looking for?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Kind of.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28OK, then. Tell me a joke.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Well, I chopped down my dad's
0:02:29 > 0:02:32cherry tree. He didn't punish me.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Do you know why?
0:02:33 > 0:02:34Why?
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Cos I still had the chain saw in my hand.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39BUZZER What your dad needs is a new pet.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Oh, Cupcake!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44What have you done? Oh, my..!
0:02:44 > 0:02:45SNARLING
0:02:49 > 0:02:52New class, new jokes. Let's go.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01- ALL:- Roscoe Primary! We're the best!
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Jokers are a-go-go. Yo.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Jokey, jokey, jokes.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- What do you call butter that can fly?- What?
0:03:13 > 0:03:14A butterfly.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17BUZZER That literally means nothing to me.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18You're not a real Joke Master.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22I am and I've got the certificate to prove it.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24It's somewhere around here.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26ALARM BLARES
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Hit me with it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Why can't you trust someone in bed?
0:03:30 > 0:03:31Because they're lying.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36Wheeew! That was the jet plane of funny and you were on board.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Thank you. You're amazing.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41It's these little moments that just keep me going, so thank you.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43What's an insect's favourite sport?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Cricket.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Cos it's an insect and it's a sport!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Yay.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52It's a half-hour of action jam-packed into a day.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Joke it up.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57What's the best way to kill a circus?
0:03:57 > 0:03:58I don't know. How?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Go straight for the juggler.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02BUZZER Oh, no, you don't.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03SHE SCREAMS
0:04:04 > 0:04:06FIZZING
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Huh?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a cowboy."
0:04:09 > 0:04:11"How long have you been feeling like that for?"
0:04:11 > 0:04:13"About a year-ha!"
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Yee-ha!
0:04:14 > 0:04:18I'm going to lasso me some funny! Woo-hoo!
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Yes!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22It's the last one from your class. Make it count.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25What does a vampire eat for breakfast?
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Ready-neck.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28V-F. Very funny.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Yeah!
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Oh! Who could possibly have won that one?
0:04:33 > 0:04:36It was...
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Bingo.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38THEY CHEER
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Really good stuff, Roscoe.
0:04:42 > 0:04:47Don't blame me, blame the person that told you those jokes.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Ooh! Thanks, guys, we got some good jokes.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54But me need more, ah-ha! Urgh!
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Joke you later!