0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Across the UK...- Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- in the sky... - What does it want from us?
0:00:07 > 0:00:08Thousands of children...
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13One man is on a mission
0:00:13 > 0:00:15to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:20..the Joke Master.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22That's my name, don't wear it out.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24And this is...
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Joke Machine, activate!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34HE YELPS
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- HE SIGHS - Joke Machine, activate.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Where are we going?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46CHEERING
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Cracking up time, jokesters.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Where's Greece?
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Er...Europe?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02There's loads in the school dinners.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05That's why I always take a packed lunch!
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Yay!
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- Next!- Knock, knock.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Who's there?
0:01:09 > 0:01:10- Wee man.- Wee man who?
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Wee man who can't reach the doorbell.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Bingo!
0:01:16 > 0:01:17HE LAUGHS
0:01:18 > 0:01:19What have you got for me?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Why do fishes live in salt water?
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Because pepper makes them sneeze.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25BUZZER
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Fish...
0:01:28 > 0:01:31are...not...
0:01:31 > 0:01:32funny.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Next!
0:01:37 > 0:01:38What do you call a sad coffee?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40- What?- Depresso.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- BUZZER - Erk.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I have no words for how bad that joke was.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You're lame, then.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48Ooh - you are.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50I don't care.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54SCREAMS
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Go for it, good luck.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00What did the traffic light say to the man?
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Pfft. I've got no idea.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02"Don't look, I'm changing."
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- BUZZER - Cupcake red...
0:02:04 > 0:02:06cupcake orange...
0:02:06 > 0:02:08cupcake green!
0:02:08 > 0:02:11SCREAMS MONSTER SNARLS
0:02:11 > 0:02:13BURP!
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Class one, done.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Class two, what have you got?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Birchgrove Primary!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28We're the stars!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Join the joke battle.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Whoa, what is this place?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Welcome to the Joke Machine.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Do not disappoint me.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42How do bees go to school?
0:02:42 > 0:02:43- How?- By buzz.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45BUZZER
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I'm throwing my disappointed face at you!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Have you got a heart?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58What happened when the teacher tied up the class's shoelaces?
0:02:58 > 0:02:59What?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01They went on a class trip.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02BUZZER
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Ewp. Ewp.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06No way!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09You are the worst Joke Master in history!
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I am the ONLY Joke Master in history.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18What's a demon's favourite drink?
0:03:18 > 0:03:19What?
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Demonade.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21That joke was cool.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I'm actually proud of myself.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26You should always be proud of yourself, mate.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Hello, little lady.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I cleaned the attic with my little sister,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33but now I can't take all the cobwebs out of her hair.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36You used your sister as a mop! Ha-ha!
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Yay!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Aren't I very good?
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Eh, you're OK.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Give me some jokes.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Why did Cinderella get dropped from the basketball team?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Because she kept running away from the ball!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51A little curtsy as well.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Well done.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Yay! Hole in one!
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I'd like to thank my mother - hi, Mummy! -
0:03:58 > 0:04:01my father, my sister...
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Oh, I'm just getting all emotional.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05All right, that's enough, that's enough.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- And my cat, Muppet. - SHE SOBS
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Thank you for...
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Two snakes were talking, and one snake said, "Are we poisonous?"
0:04:15 > 0:04:16The other said, "Why?"
0:04:16 > 0:04:18"Because I just bit my lip."
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- That would hurt! - HE CHUCKLES
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Yes!
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Hmm...
0:04:23 > 0:04:26who was the victor?
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- DRUM ROLL - It was...
0:04:28 > 0:04:30you!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32- Birchgrove! - CHEERING
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- BOOING - Cheer up, it's home time soon.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Whoo! We got some good stuff there.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- But too many bad jok... - PHONE RINGS
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Hello? Oh, hi, sweetheart.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Yeah, I'm on my way home.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48OK. Joke you later!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Whoa, um, yeah. Love you, love you.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Joke you later, jokesters!