0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Across the UK... - Sightings have been reported
0:00:04 > 0:00:05of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09- What does it want from us? - Thousands of children...
0:00:09 > 0:00:11..hoping they will be chosen.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16He is...
0:00:18 > 0:00:19The Joke Master...
0:00:19 > 0:00:22Did someone say my name?
0:00:22 > 0:00:24..and this is The Joke Machine.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Joke Machine, activate.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32HIS STOMACH GROANS
0:00:32 > 0:00:35I've not been well.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Joke Machine, activate.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Where are we going?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45ALL: Roath Park Primary!
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Let's get cracking, jokers.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Tell me the joke.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57My friend gave Usain Bolt a record
0:00:57 > 0:00:59and he smashed it.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00And you smashed that.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Yay, yay, yay!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Whoo, next dish, please.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- Why did the bee get married? - I don't know, why?
0:01:08 > 0:01:10He found his lovely honey.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Argh!
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Make it good.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- Knock, knock.- Who's there?
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Interrupting Cow.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Interrupting Cow... Moo!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22I don't like it.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23I've got something to tell you.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24What?
0:01:24 > 0:01:25You're a...
0:01:25 > 0:01:27sch-loser.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28What's a school loser?
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Schore-loser.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33I haven't got time to debate this. Turn around and face the wall.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Aaah!
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Do you sprechen Sie funny?
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Good.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45"Hey, sis, is it all right to eat caterpillars?"
0:01:45 > 0:01:46"Of course not.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48"Anyway, why did you ask?"
0:01:48 > 0:01:49"Oh, there was just one in your salad,
0:01:49 > 0:01:51"but don't worry, it's gone now."
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Which guy's giggling?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54This guy's giggling.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55Yay!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Whoo! Let's keep it going.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Calm down, you're in the right place.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04What's a twin's favourite fruit?
0:02:04 > 0:02:05A PEAR.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09Un-un-un-un-un...funny.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Now, are you cool or are you lame?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15What is that, a trick question? Because I'm going to say cool.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Aaah!
0:02:19 > 0:02:20Stop.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Go for it, good luck.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27What happens if you mix a snake and a rabbit together?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- What?- Jump rope.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32You have just hit rock bottom.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- I've got another joke, then.- Go on.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35You know your hair?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Yes, intimately.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38It's really nice today.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Thank you.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Sarcasm.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Well, you know what? I'm going to save you.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45Yes!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Sarcasm.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51That's what I'm talking about.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Bring in the next victims... I mean, jokers.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05THEY CHEER
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Join the joke bell.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13New jokes, let's go.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet
0:03:16 > 0:03:17and the normal alphabet?
0:03:17 > 0:03:18What?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20The Christmas alphabet has no-L.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24F-f-f-f-f-funny, funny.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Yes!
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Break it down.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30How do you make a goldfish age?
0:03:30 > 0:03:31No...
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Take away the G.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39You can take the G away, but fish is still in there.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41That's unfair.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44It's unfair that you've thrown fish in my face!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48CLATTERING
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Next!
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Oh, here's double trouble.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55What do you call two banana skins on the carpet?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- I don't know. - A pair of slippers.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Oh, I knew it and it's awful.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03You're the worst Joke Master ever.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07You're the worst twins ever.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Aaah!
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Where's my twin?
0:04:10 > 0:04:11You can join her.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12Aaah!
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Oh, come on, give me a good one.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18What happens if you feed a chicken gunpowder?
0:04:18 > 0:04:19I don't know.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21An EGGS-plosion.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Bu-gak, bu-gak, bu-goom.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Yay!
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Now we're cooking. Next joke.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30What do you call a fake noodle?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32An im-PASTA.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Yes, joke.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Whoo-hoo!
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Hmm, who was the victor?
0:04:40 > 0:04:42It was...
0:04:42 > 0:04:44You.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46St Mary's.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49THEY CHEER
0:04:49 > 0:04:52THEY BOO Oh, thumbs down. Ooh, I'm scared(!)
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Whoo, we got some funny stuff.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Fun-ny stuff...
0:04:58 > 0:05:01but I need more! So I'll joke you later, jokesters.