0:21:02 > 0:21:03Across the UK...
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09What does it want from us? Thousands of children...
0:21:09 > 0:21:10..hoping they will be chosen.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16He is...
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- ..The Joke Master! - That's me!
0:21:21 > 0:21:25And this is The Joke Machine.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Joke machine - activate!
0:21:30 > 0:21:32CRASH!
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Joke machine - activate?
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Where are we going?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Start the joke-off now!
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Give me some jokes!
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- What did the boxer say to the other boxer?- I don't know.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00"I've forgotten the punch line."
0:22:00 > 0:22:01You've made me... Ha ha ha!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04APPLAUSE
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- Why don't elephants use computers? - Why?
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Because they're afraid of the mouse.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12BUZZER Delete LOL.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16You're so mean! Oh, yeah - cos you're a joke machine.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Well, you're so lame, and you're the only one to blame.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Ah!
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- Tell me your joke.- What's yellow and makes a lot of noise?
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- What?- Custard SCREAMS.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33BUZZER That's not funny.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Sticks and stones may break my bones,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37but joke makers can never hurt me.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Oh! Well, try this one!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Ah!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47HE CHUCKLES
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- What do you call a man with paper trousers?- What?
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Russell.
0:22:51 > 0:22:56I'm flying high on the funniness of that joke.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Yay!
0:23:00 > 0:23:03What do you get crossed between a woodpecker and a carrier pigeon?
0:23:03 > 0:23:07- I don't know.- A bird who knocks before delivering the message.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08BUZZER
0:23:08 > 0:23:12I looked up "funny" in the dictionary, and you weren't there.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Well, I thought you lived in the treetops, Mr Gorilla.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15What?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Have you got too much hairs on your face?
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Kids, never go to school on an empty stomach.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26This will be a good one, I can feel it in me bones.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Why does the Queen not wave THIS hand?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30- Why?- Because it's mine.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33BUZZER You've just taken me to unfunny town.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Can you think of a joke?
0:23:35 > 0:23:39No, you can't! Cos you're an old steam box! Boo!
0:23:39 > 0:23:42HE GROWLS
0:23:42 > 0:23:43Aaagh!
0:23:47 > 0:23:49This better not be a bad one.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51What's a country with no fat people?
0:23:51 > 0:23:52FIN-land.
0:23:52 > 0:23:57BUZZER Funny don't live here any more!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Bring in the next victims! I mean - jokers!
0:24:07 > 0:24:10CHEERING
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Shall we get cracking, jokers?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- What colour is a blue house?- Blue.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- What colour is a yellow house? - Yellow.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25- What colour is a red house?- Red.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- What colour is a greenhouse? - Green.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28No, it's glass.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Ho, ho, ho! You suckered me into that one.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35- Yay!- Next!
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- Why did the boy run round his bed? - Why?
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Cos he wanted to catch up on his sleep.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43BUZZER And my hands say, "Not funny!"
0:24:43 > 0:24:45No, it's not! It's the best joke ever!
0:24:47 > 0:24:50MOO!
0:24:50 > 0:24:52What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
0:24:52 > 0:24:54"Don't spook until spooken to."
0:24:54 > 0:24:55BUZZER
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I think you might be the least funny boy I've spoken to today.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00You're the least funniest man I've seen today.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Well, you won't be seeing much more after this!
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Aaagh!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10- Why does a cow have a bell?- Why?
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Because his horns don't work.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Ho, ho, ho, ho! That was good!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Yay!
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Send the next jokester in, please.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22What does a farmer count his cows with?
0:25:22 > 0:25:23A COW-culator.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Wha-bam!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Thanks!
0:25:30 > 0:25:32I wonder who won that one. Hmmm?
0:25:32 > 0:25:34It was...
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Bingo!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Stunning stuff, Spring Hill! CHEERING
0:25:39 > 0:25:43You guys smell like losers. BOOING
0:25:43 > 0:25:48Phew! We got some good jokes there, but I need more.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50So I'll see you again.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Joke you later, gagsters!